Best Of S2 | The Office

okay hello everyone um for those of you that don't know me my name is Neil Godwin hello for those of you that do know me keep um I'm a man of Simple Pleasures I don't need lovely houses beautiful girls and classy restaurants so it's a good job I move to slow no it's great to be in slow really it is I've just spent a year in Beirut now I know David is feeling a bit worried about taking on all these new staff because as manager it's going to mean a lot more responsibility he'll now have to delegate twice as much work but but there will be perks for him I'm sure he's looking forward to having a whole new group of men Underneath Him Anyway here's the man at the top of the pile David Brent right you know he was saying there about me being the top of the parliament right saying I'm gay right I'm not gay in fact I can honestly say I've never come over a little queer so get the real that's the real that was just it was putting me off welcome to slow to the to the new people uh my name's David Brent and um I've always been in the paper industry haven't I yeah my um parents owned a paper shop until it blew away paper okay yeah yeah I'm not I'm not used to public squeaking I piss pronunciate a lot of my worms do you know that's the two run is you know that that is classic stuff turn the phone off that's part of it if you're not concentrating you're not going to enjoy it as much Focus okay anyway good to have you all here from swinden cuz I hear they dropped an atomic bomb on S Swindon about 15 quids worth of damage right okay that's right oh good job Eric HCHO isn't here CU you know what he'd say I don't AG with that in the workplace wouldn't he oh imagine if uh Eric was a Los anges detective be a bit weird wouldn't it um yeah one final thing my wife loved you but I don't agree with that in the workplace what's that Eric you've given up being a Los Angeles detective and you started running a hotel in t yes don't mention the I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it I don't agree with that in the workplace I don't agree with that in the workplace do not know who Eric HMO is who's been to the commentary conference right so do you not know Eric HMO well yeah but I didn't know he sort like that talks exactly like that ddy Gareth I prefer the stuff you do about his little hand I don't do stuff about his little hand what you do the wanking clo don't has everyone heard of Harry Enfield has everyone heard of Harry Enfield yes right then okay then who's this I do not believe you wanted to do that only me oh come on try and that's um thank thanks David huh thanks whatever just okay there's uh there's plenty of wine and and snacks uh left through there so if you you want to help yourself to do anything else through thanks lunchtime gigs they're the worst I don't think near warmed up to be honest that's what it went over he's not a professional comedian so he was funny though but uh often an AM to will stitch up professional but Le what I should have told you right roal family Yeah Christmas day had lunch sitting down Camila goes let's play a game right let's play 20 questions I think at some and you've got guess what I'm thinking of and what she's thinking of is a black man's [ __ ] right so Charles goes uh is it big bread she goes yes Philip goes could I put it in my mouth she goes yes so the queen goes is it a black a sorry were you telling a no that was it what did the queen say didn't come on what was a joke it's about the royal family playing 20 questions oh it's not the black man's [ __ ] one is it you might be but I don't bad in it it's all right it's funny how Miss well done if you all met the uh this little lady this lady well it's a shame this had to happen on Neil's first day but I've just had a complaint from one of the new intake what complaint I can't believe that you think the way to welcome people is by telling racist jokes wrong no way but he'd heard it before right he thought it was funny so I don't know why he's complaining now he it was a woman thought I assumed it was the the new guy whoever it was is wrong cuz it isn't racist what is it so what the joke the gist of it won't be funny now I don't care what's the content royal family sitting at home Christmas Day and uh Camila goes oh let's play a game I think of Summer and you have to guess what I'm thinking of and what she's actually thinking of is a black man's [ __ ] so uh Charles goes um is it bigger than the breadbin Camila goes yep so Philip goes can I put it in my mouth goes y so the queen goes oh is it a black man's [ __ ] and he's heard it before so that's the sort of there yeah I can see why someone would find that offensive it's not racist though is it I don't say anything bad about black people it's about a black man's [ __ ] why is that racist it just happens to be a black man's got no you're using the ethnic stereotype that all black men have large penises because you think that makes it funnier it's not an insult though is it it's a compliment if anything so so what you're saying is that black people ought to be flattered that their only achievement in this world is having oversized genitalia I'm saying they shouldn't be ashamed of them it's a Miss I don't know Jennifer I could show you a magazine where literally could you well I haven't got it with me but when are you next in I could change it I could just say big [ __ ] not mention the color well you could or you could save those jokes for your free time and not tell them in the workplace it was his joke he told me it yeah whatever David let's leave it there you've heard my opinion on the matter now should we go back outside yeah she is uh right to be careful cuz uh some of them can be a little bit sensitive you know so soorry who can some some people can take things the wrong way oh as an actor said to a bishop and that's not a gay stereotype the wrong way I'm not saying that is the wrong way I'm saying it's a way and some women like it the wrong way don't they and they're straight it doesn't matter if you're straight or gay you know a lot of people are they one in 10 apparent that seems a bit High doesn't it but you know if you you might be if you are good luck to you you know just just make sure it's legal and be safe okay under strengths you've just put accounts yeah that's your job though that's just that's just no Keith I sort looking for your skills within your job so is there anything else you could have put there oh okay um under weaknesses you've put eczema fantastically welcoming buffer the wine was something else everyone's of quite friendly yeah everyone's and Tim Tim seems nice yeah he a good laugh I was just going to um has he got a a girlfriend or why what's thing why would you um equation yeah I know but I mean if you w would he be oh ke right you've left you've left this section completely blank Keith you haven't done the Q&A I thought that you filled that in no no no no this is aimed at you look um to what extent do you believe that you have the skills and not to perform your job effectively and then you just take one of the boxes not at all to some extent very much so don't know what would you take don't know okay um question two uh do you feel you have received adequate training to use your computer effectively what the options same as they're always the same same always the same not at all to some extent very much so don't know don't know don't know again okay do you feel you are given the flexibility to decide how best to accomplish your goals do you want the options again yeah not at all to some extent always the same very much so don't know if don't know wasn't there what would you put well the option not at all to some extent very much so don't know very much so do you remember what the question was no okay do you let's we're going to leave that there so if you want a really good pie the gardeners it's been a wash out on it yeah I don't know why about if uh no one else is going to make the effort you know we have made the effort huh we have made the effort yeah I'm I'm going to go at you it's just I was the best people haven't turned up and it's just I'm going to shoot off back to the office all right what are you doing having a laugh oh yeah yeah Pi can laugh in public lunch selfish bit dangerous isn't it in an office if you want to want to work maybe you should work as it's quarter past 2 yeah right we're just finishing off now yeah we're just finishing off just want to be popular as the new boss oh love me pathetic take um well I think we should uh call it a day there Tim do you mind putting those away guys can we get back to work um please sorry David can have a work please you want um I'm confused I don't what just happened there but obviously you've got a problem with something what is it no time for work wasn't it that's what you say let work instead of mucking around you see your attitude confuses me if you don't want to tell me what the problem is then fine but don't speak to me like that in front of stop okay cuz you're acting like a petulant kid you're H if you've got a problem come and speak to me but don't stand out there and embarrass me and yourself because I will not stand for it okay I've been trying to be nice I've been trying to deal with this situation delicately because I was mildly embarrassed that we were equivalent and now I'm your boss but that's the deal live with it I don't let anyone talk to me the way you just did not my staff not my boss no one and certainly not you do you understand yeah do you understand good look you're good BL Dave and if there's a problem I'd rather discuss it sensibly and have to have these little chats all right get Shake on it great thank you I'll see you guys later all cheers NE have a good night did you hear that did you hear any of the conversation there no I just out with Neil he showed his true colors didn't he what you mean he's he seemed like a good BL what you think oh best better not say anything then watch your back slacking you off what slagging you off want me personally yeah yeah well just me yeah and you sling all you off what' you say just going oh you a lot of rubbish I was going a lot of rubbish you're sing a lot of [ __ ] and he got got aggressive and I went berserk did you hear I had need to come through that wall I don't know he's pretty trim mate yeah I D C so David what did he actually say about us just like I can you laugh I he SW little slugs little slugs with no personality and just jealous that we're better at everything than you I tell you what serious now if he did kick off doing him get out I don't want you not getting it it's not worth it I'll just step in if you want let be big boy [ __ ] mate cheers you it one hit him really hard above the ears causes a vacuum in the brain kills him instantly I wouldn't want him to die I'd want to keep little [ __ ] alive with the [ __ ] I was going to put on him oh my God even I'm shocked you did one can I just sorry can I just look at the face look at the face look at the face I can't believe touching that look you don't know where that's been mate well I do know where it's it's been in a box no I mean at the factory you don't know what Factory you've got your amazing mind again my experience women who work in factories are slappers so don't know what thank you everybody for my lovely present they're malleable mhm and you know that that's what I like really I don't like people coming here with uh oh we did it this way we did it that way I just want to go do it this way if you like if you don't team playing te I call it team individuality it's a new it's like a management style again guilty unorthodox sue me is but you know you what you nothing ever changes by staying the same quite literally hi guys hello all right you like that don't you is that because it looks like yours yeah it's identical Well mine's not that size it's very very tiny but it is made of plastic mine's massive and it ain't made of plastic I dare to go and put it in vent's office why it's a deare yeah I know but he's he's having a meeting with Neil I can't yeah well that's kind of the challenge mate why would I do that cuz it would make me laugh I'll do it I'll do it it's all right all you got to do is just you know go in there and hide it in there somewhere that's just hide it yeah simple it couldn't be easier straightforward com in sorry to inter hi um just wondered if that's embarrassing I've completely forgotten what I came in for I'm sorry um it's gone come on come on Tim get it back no to late night oh no sorry it's totally gone don't worry about it I'm holding your folder sorry um I just no it's gone BC come back no more beef as you're here um there's something you can do for me my lot haven't even been down to the warehouse yet okay um it'd be would you mind takeing them down justar not to see you we're one organization I think it' be quite a good idea for everyone to to know everyone else if you just tell Glenn I said it's so W tell tell tell Taffy that I said it was okay and that Neil agrees with me okay cool just that's thanks sorry that was brilliant did you see where it went went under the folder I'm going to phone dve no I'm going to write things for you to say come here and then I'm going to phone David and I want you to say exactly what I write down okay no way you make me sound like a bender no look I swear I won't it'll just be no way no it'll just be funny things it'll come out cute I'm not I'm not going to say anything that makes me sound like a b hello hi it's Gareth hi I'm in meet in a moment G yeah um just going to say a few things all right you're you're doing a great job okay just an employee saying what a superb job I'm doing is that it no no I like your little beard okay is that it one one more thing what um you should wear tighter trousers can I give you a call back yeah bye that was genius thank you genius genius brilliant we have a website with profiles of all our speakers on them would you mind answering a few questions no go for it okay if you could have a working lunch with anyone living or dead who would it be Martin Luther King and the Dalai llama and Rory Bremner just to cuz they get a bit heavy couldn't they two of them and he' lighting things up probably do impressions of them and me what's your biggest disappointment alt and Towers oh I've never been it's rubbish next oh yeah still doing practical jokes do some work now should be giving them a rest I've got some yeah what'd you got oh what I used to do L what were they oh you know we can we could think of some we could yeah absolutely we could think some new ones yeah okay let's think of some good ones for for what about Gareth Poss it's about time he had some tricks played with him I think what would your motto be well I've noticed that some bosses are intimidated by training their staff up too well they don't I don't mind it I actually like my staff to be better than me that way you know it keeps me on my toes so my motto would be be careful cuz there's always someone ready to step into your shoes and do your job better than you do it I'm gluing the phone in the name of fun he will hate [Music] you this you cook it sorry is this just little little birthday P for TR so birth organize this I over the top it how much that cost you we're paying you too much I made it myself made it yourself every year oh it's sweeten it too rich that's really hard you want lemon cak even really I prefer a FL going go carting again at the weekend with the lads oh yeah what Down super carts y you any good came first last time I went 8 minutes 51 got a certificate yeah I went down there the first day opened right and I did a couple of laps I pulled over BL the run the thing came over and said o no professionals I took my helmet off I said I'm not a professional he said you're not a professional I said no he said well you should be if I was you I'd take up Formula 1 if you drive like that you probably be the best in the country so I'm not interested on making shitloads out of computers you had to go Speedway have you yep right well I was doing it once and um I was bombing it round and some idiot had left like a a ramp thing out bugs I could see the people were going oh my God if that guy hits that ramp going at that speed he's definitely dead I hit the ramp I took off in the air I turned over in the air they were going well he's definitely dead now I landed on my wheels pulled over and said what were we worried about uh about 5 5 yeah and so who was this check with again what's this in the mother's meeting so Dawn tells me shutting down reception at 5: wow just half hour early today you think it can run okay without her yeah phones are go they can answer their own they do their own post tonight just that's good so we can probably lose her all together then can we what do you mean well if you don't need a receptionist we may as well let her go you know either she's needed or she's not we do need reception my point is David you haven't put a a system in place you know for your own needs you've told da to shut down reception 5 you haven't told these people they can pick up the phone if it rings I mean does Dawn know that they can do their own post Dawn they can do their own post tonight yeah it's yeah now he's telling her now he says there's no system in place you're not thinking things through I'm tired of this fuzzy thinking David all right chill out don't have a cow mate don't talk to me like you've forgotten who's in charge let me remind you I'm your boss okay yeah just try and think things through that was your fault again took the r for you didn't I yeah once right when Bruce Lee was filming one of the extras just came over and just started a fight oh yeah I know this and it was amazing at coming through but Bruce Lee just did a roundhouse on him well no he smashed him through a wall instead of firing him he just said go back to where you were let's get over the film man those cats were fast as Lightning you know when he's fighting Chuck Norris and Enter the Dragon no you not seen that no have you not I can't that is a classic no not seen him fight chat Norris in Enter the Dragon I've seen him fight chat Norris in way of the Dragon that's what I meant that's what I me is it yeah why did you say' seen him fight Chuck Norris and Enter the Dragon he fights Bob Wall in both but Norris is only in way of the Dragon yeah I know so when he's fining track Norris in what in way of the Dragon correct at last um you know Bruce Lee is not really dead don't you yeah it's in a book what he did was he faked his own death so he could work undercover for the Hong Kong police infiltrating drugs gangs in the Triads yeah I reckon that's true yeah I reckon that's true cuz if you were going to send someone undercover to investigate the Triads you'd probably want the world's most famous Chinese film star well gone off Dawn now have you what said what what are you talking about just shut up shut up thank you very much it's quite a bit in there you can add that to yours if you like all right cheers I've already raised more than that in a way anyway 300 we did last time so and if you wanted dancing you should have come to me didn't if you want I need rehear that of plans dance big time more modern stuff than that as well yeah I sort of fused Flash Dance with MC Hammer ship all right mate well let's you know show us your moves no there's no beat music just for Char a little [Music] bit [Music] [Music] d [Laughter] so and that's play Da yeah well a bit warning next time you might get we don't have to give a donation for that do we well don't say it like that all the money collected is for both dances both excellent dances in there well you know if there is a difference mine was impromptu so but I don't think you should get extra points for that NE neily make your own minds up leave me out of it I'll Collective for charity all right so uh you've seen me entertain and raise money but maybe I'd like to do that in the future for a living you know use my humor and my profile to both help and amuse people you know and if it's ideas for TV shows you know game shows or whatever you want I'm your man you know I'm already exploring the entertainment Avenue with my management training but you know I'd like to do that on a global scale really and that's not going oh look at me today I'm entertaining whilst saving lives aren't I brilliant it's going if you think I'm brilliant then give generously and help save these guys who are starving but are also brilliant not as entertainers a lot of them can't even speak English but you know don't give their own game show but um save them from dying at least and then maybe they could you know do something in their own country on television what or whatever they have the wireless or I don't know some give them give them a job on the world service or something excuse me David um yes can can we have another quick word not now no I'm literally running downstairs this minute um The Gazette coming in to take my picture so uh I'm going to be in the paper well wam hog are going to be in the paper free advertising so that's not what I'm doing it this shouldn't take long okay um sorry to bring this on you now um we've been discussing something you said earlier and it's it's certainly something we've been thinking about as well um we'd like to offer you a very generous redundancy package are you offering me it or are you telling me I've got to take it um we're telling you you've got to take it we will'll put in a proper meeting tomorrow it's a good timing and it telling me that today the day of laughter brilliant that's that ruined isn't it that's what I was little pockets so now I'll try and go down there and be funny that's going to be good isn't it with that going through I knew you were up to sum planning summer Jennifer do you agree with this because we can I'll be all right don't with me I've got other irons in the fire so this is the best thing that's ever happened to me to be honest but I'm going to love to see you telling that lot out there cuz you are going to have a mutiny on your hands they will go berserk definitely if that's it can you leave now please go on I've got stuff to do I've got I've got laughter just I've got money to raise mouths to feed it's your time yeah yeah if you're wondering what that meeting was just about in there that's it I've been made redundant yeah after it was me who saved others from redundancy and then it's back good day young but um hor I said you L to go mental and I got to go and give laughter but see it huh okay you just want to make it PE yeah just run around a bit yeah good yeah here we are mad house yeah all right Tim yeah right what here just write an article on me for inside paper Ben are you wondering Ben are you wondering who that is well I'll tell you all if you're wondering who this stranger is wandering around she's writing an article on me for inside paper where have you been where else we missed be telling everyone she's writing an article on me for in subject matter right what do you want to know do you mind to find talk to some of your staff later why well my train doesn't leave till 1:30 so I'll hang about if that's okay and have a chat with some W I want to see what they say before I'm not going to put anything nasty in well they won't say anything nasty so okay right so would you like to tell me about your individual outlook on management sure um put David Bren is refreshingly laid back for a man with such responsibility yeah can you can you just answering your own words and I'll work it up later um Brent mused and then repli did you just say what's uh on your mind and I'm getting it down well are you getting it down cuz you're not doing Shand and I'm going to be pretty just wow okay your question I suppose was is it difficult to remain authoritative and yet so popular well no that was my question well well should I answer that one first sorry can we just stick to my questions well maybe you should be clear what the question is cuz I'm getting a little bit and that's you know okay but that's what he on the offensive what's so what's so funny nothing nothing I was just um I was I was talking to um Emma about what what is that um that Pub we went to on Friday oh Keenan hello hi baby it's an all right are you coming around tonight H can't going up for chases with the lads oh come on first we'll have a bit of time together all right have some fun yep okay are you um going to bring the toys again um y okay yeah look forward to doing it to you too all right bye the chys shut up what the toys is it bakaro it's not Boggle is it shut up if it's klank I'm coming out it was actually a private phone call so well don't put it on speaker phone G yeah Johnny farmer is it hungry [Laughter] hipo private life then just to flesh out David Brent the man is there a better heal David quipped why buy a book when you can join the library so you play the field well I'm not going around like using chicks and [ __ ] but I'm just you know chilling out while I'm young I suppose so and is there a chick in T at the moment oh I don't kiss in tail I'm just trying to find out if you're in a relationship at the moment oh BR says no comment right so you don't have a girlfriend what is a girlfriend and there only you to have sex with all right don't get course in a magazine for the public I don't think you going to pullit to for all right do y fine you yeah good small talk then okay thanks very much um everyone really appreciates what you've done dear okay down to business um that's what we've come up with as a redundancy offer more than I expected we've been quite generous bad a b now um you can leave on the 3 with your holiday I understand which is Tuesday now we wondered if you wanted to come back for a party on the Friday or leave on the Friday before whatever okay well again thanks very much D don't make me redundant these look David I don't I've changed your mind I don't want redundancy I don't want that I haven't signed anything so well David unfortunately it's not really up to you okay then sorry all right then well I'm asking okay please don't make redundant you can you can talk to someone Jenny the wheels are already in motion no we'll stop them because they we're not going to discuss this now no but just say that it's not definite now before you go and we can I will try twice hard I really will I have been complacent and I I'll turn this place around if we just say that that it's not definite now and then we can um are you're not going until if you're starting from now starting from now life is just a series of Peaks and troughs and you don't know whether you're in a trough until you're climbing out or on a peak until you're coming down and that's it you know you never know what's around the corner uh but it's all good you know um yeah if you want the rainbow you've got up up with the rain do you know which philosopher said that Dolly Parton yeah and people say she's just a big pair of tits

Channel: The Office

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Keywords: theoffice, 🔴 live wacky the office (uk) moments !! | The Office, the office, the office uk, david brent, ricky gervais, martin freeman, the office bbc, bbc, bbc studios, the office david brent, the office tim, uk office, bbc comedy, British comedy, sitcom, comedian, comic, comedy show, comedy video, mackenzie crook, tim canterbury, gareth keenan, Best Of S2 | The Office

Id: qIN7BNYhhCY

Length: 39min 28sec (2368 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 07 2024