Being a Keeper At Home

[Music] [Applause] [Music] hello friends Heidi here from rain country god is good all the time and I'm here for a craft time chat video which for those of you who are new is just a way I can sit down and talk to you about some stuff while I'm still getting some things done cuz I've always got orders coming in for skirts and aprons and various things and so I got to keep working on these things as I go but um this has actually kind of been um it shouldn't be a tough subject but it's really been hard for me to get this one together and I still don't feel like I'm fully prepared for it because it's one of those that can be a rather sensitive topic that can make some people get very angry and I just want to say right off the bat this is not it all my intention nothing I say I'm gonna say in this video is meant to be judgmental for those who can't fit into this to what I'm gonna share because of various reasons I realize we're all in different places in life and having to deal with different situations particular topic is not going to work for people who are single moms or maybe they have disabled husbands and they have to work outside the home in order to provide for their family this is for those ladies who are who are I'm thinking mostly of younger ladies who are maybe not even started having kids yet or maybe not even married yet of her looking ahead to their life and wanting to you know have this desire to live that biblical model of what God has designed for us women and so if you're not a Christian this may or may not apply to you but it may if you're simply a woman that's you don't have to be a Christian you're just a woman who desires to stay at home with their children and raise her children rather than sending them off to the government training camps or or whatever it may be that's just your innate desire because I think it is an innate desire and most of us women as it always was for me and I remember going you know as a young person in the in high school and everybody's that was really the big push for women to get out I mean it started long before that but by the 80s it was just considered normal for a woman to get a career and work outside the home and you were kind of looked at as a loser or lazy or you know if you were a lady that just simply had a desire to be a stay-at-home wife and mom and which is not when it done properly is nothing to do with laziness in fact often can be much harder than working outside the home there's there's really a lot involved in being a stay-at-home wife and mother now in Proverbs 31 we see that the godly woman was she did actually earn an income but the difference was as it was done at home it was done from the home like I'm doing right here you know with my Etsy store I earn an income from my home with YouTube I'm earning an income from my home back before I did this I had you know a ballet and martial arts classes right here in this what used to be our big studio and if you're interested in this studio and what it used to look like and what it looks like now I do have a video just on that but that was my source of income and I was able to do it right here from home while raising my children so it's not that women shouldn't or can't earn an income as well to either supplement the home or to or maybe even to be the breadwinner of the home if need be because depending on the different situations that you're all going through and I also do understand that it's not always feasible to find a business that you can do at home but with the way things are going there are more and more opportunities for ladies to find a way to earn an income from home while still being able to raise their children and take care of the house so one of the things that I wanted to bring up was first of all I want to start with and again if you're not a Christian you know I hope that you'll be patient because this focus is more towards Christian lady so I'm going to be using a lot of Scripture here so I'm just be patient with me there the Bible doesn't saying that women are to be keepers of the home it says there to be keepers at home which is actually quite a big difference because you can work outside the home and be and be still be able to keep your home but that's not what scripture says it says be a keeper at home and so as in what could be considered an aged women woman because my children are grown and out of the home I've homeschooled them and they're they're off I got one married off now and eventually probably and the other one will get married too and my job now as an aged woman has already been there according to what the Bible says is to teach the younger women to love their husbands and be keepers at home and not given to much wine and you should have seen that scripture right at the beginning of this video and that's my job and that's what's been assigned to me by scripture so that's the other reason why I'm doing this video and so one of the ways one of the things that in order to make it work I mean I honestly believe that most families can make it off of one income just one that's typically up I really believe that can happen now obviously if you've got my medical bills due to different disabilities or issues in the home or if you have our fear really deep in debt these can be things that may need to be dealt with first you know getting out of debt is gonna be really important you may need to do that first if that's your situation because I mean you know we were we've all I think most of us have I think all of us or at least most of us have all been guilty of getting ourselves in debt in some form and that's not necessarily all bad but the bible does say oh no man so getting into debt is something we should really have never done in the first place but a lot of us fell into the the mainstream American Way of thinking and that is feeling like we got to take a loan out for a house and a loan out for a car and a loan out for this and long out for that and then charge up the credit cards and then next thing you know you're so deep in debt that there's you you start to feel like there's no way out of it well there is a way out of it and it can be done you can get yourself out of debt and we have a video that we did as part of a collaboration years ago a couple years ago maybe with a living traditions homestead and so I will go ahead and link to that playlist so you can check out both of our videos and because I think that's really important that's really got to be step number one if you're in debt you got to deal with that first but also if you're a Christian be praying for God to show you the best way to do it and he will as long as you're willing to seek God on this and you're willing to want to become that you know that calling that he put on a woman's life through his word then he is going to be faithful and follow through on that and make it work for you because all my life that was that was my desire and I always wondered how can I do this and it it everything fell into place just you know when we decided to get married I was already teaching ballet here in town but I was teaching at another place and then when we got engaged this house became available and at the time it had you know a just a family room that was half the size of this room is now but that was what it was rec room and that was what I started teaching then and did really good I had up to 95 students at that time - yeah you know I didn't obviously have them all in here at the same time I had a whole bunch of different classes throughout the week and God provided and there was a time in that when I was actually pregnant with my second child that Pat got laid off from his job and ended up having to go a retraining program and so that the I it was really up to me to pro to be the breadwinner of the home during that two-year period but you know what God blessed that time I was still able to I had I had a child one child already and then I was pregnant with my second one and yet that was one of my best years as far as income goes in business for dance it was one of my best years and I know it that was just from the Lord it was necessary and how I managed all doubt being pregnant the whole the whole time was or at least you know nine months out of it I was that was also by the grace of God so like I said I when we're willing to follow God's will for our lives in this area he is faithful and just to follow through and make it work even when things things seem like they're not going to work and you know we made it just fine with Pat going to school and and all that we managed to survive and then having that child during that time to God sure is good all the time and that's the other thing got to cling to you too when you realize when things just seem like they're impossible and the world ahead just seems too dark and and you know he's there we just have to trust him and we have to put our faith in it cuz we we've been through that on that and that place knew many times in our lives and through our marriage so now coming back to how do you do it what are some other ways that don't necessarily have to do with having faith in the Lord really what it comes down to is being a good steward with your time with your finances and with and learning skills and so when you think about it you know it's a good idea to sit down and tally up the cost what does it cost to send your child to daycare so that you can work outside the home what does it cost them for you to have prefab meals or go out to eat you're not gonna have time to to cook meals from scratch when you're working outside the home especially if you're working full time and I realize there's some some moms out there that are able to work part time and pretty much be able to stay at home with their kids most most of the day why dad stays with them at night and that's you know that's that's a pretty good compromise I would say but I still believe that you know according to Scripture our place really is at the home but anyway coming back to what I was saying is that calculate these costs I think that you'll find that even if you cannot you don't have a way to earn an income from home just simply learning how to cook and bake your own meals learning how to cut hair for your family learning how to do things the most frugal way there is learning how to sew your own clothes or clothes for your kids I really believe once you start adding the expenses of actually working outside the home because here's another one you've got you've got to have that extra car which means you have to have that car insured all the time which means also means extra fuel costs because you have to drive to and from work and then again the daycare the daycares a big one that one's probably going to be your number one biggest expense and then you've got your lunches to worry about and and then and then just meals in general for you and for your family but when you're when you're at home there's so much money that can be saved that I believe in most cases it's going to make up the difference of having that second income and so here's that here's the other thing is that we also have to prioritize what's most important to us so even if you can get a job that earns you more income than what you can save by staying at home then you have to balance that one is your priority is is it more important to have the the latest model of vehicle and be in debt for that have something you know or have the fancy to $2,000 purse now oh gosh then there's another thing work clothes especially in certain environments work clothes can be really expensive to be able to have you know to be able to wear what's required to look right for your job and way there's a big expense but is or also taking fancy vacations is it is it more important to you I mean what's more important is more is it more important for you to stay at home with your family and raise your children the way God intended it or is it more important to take fancy vacations and I'm not trying to be rude by the way I'm saying this I'm really I do expect to get a lot of hate on this and please understand yet again it's not meant to be judgmental or rude or mean or heartless it's mostly meant to be able to reach out to those people who were once like me when I was young wondering how can I make it work and so back to the prioritizing we decided fancy vacations weren't important to us we decided going out to eat all the time wasn't important to us we we found ways to still enjoy ourselves going camping every year with our family was and I think there was a lot more gained by doing that really good close family bonding time not just with us and our own kids but with the other family we spent time with these were the kind of vacations we took and they were a lot cheaper and I think more rewarding and then the other things you know we have lots of videos out here about how to be frugal and how to make your own this and how to make your own that that is both healthier and far more frugal than buying a bunch of store-bought stuff does it take more time yes but that time you would have been spending driving to work and being an office all day that of doing that you're spending a time at home with your kids who can learn these things right along with you you're learning them and doing them yourself and so your kids are getting this really wonderful education at the same time which also plays into the whole homeschooling thing homeschooling if that's something else you're thinking of that plays right into it and what I mean what better way to do that than being a stay-at-home frugal mom that's learning how to do all this stuff ourselves to learn and teach our children right along with her and their children are learning far more important things at home with their parents then they are getting shipped off to a government training camp that they learn very little during the school hours when you consider nowadays kids have to come home and still have great school kids even still can have two to three hours worth of homework well you know what you can easily school your child in it less time than that on a on five days a week it can take less time than that because most of their schooling time the most valuable schooling time is the stuff they learn right along with you learning how to cook and bake and clean and garden and work in the shop with dad and various things like that learning how to change the oil in a car how to mow the lawn or so many different things that a lot of kids coming out of school a lot of they don't have any of these skills in or did they have time to learn them at home with their parents because well they had once they spent all day in school they still had to come home and do several hours worth of homework or they were involved in a zillion other extracurricular activities such as sports and so on that took up whatever remaining time that they had and I don't mean to bad-mouth any corrects tricked if --'tis I do notice though that some of these things I just think there's certain activities that could be far more valuable than certain other ones so you got to balance that out and find out what's best for your child because I think some of the more school related ones can can have not so positive effect on your child and their spiritual growth especially if you're looking at it from a Christian perspective so again that's entirely up to you I mean there's there's different ways to get your kids involved in social activities that that can be a little healthier and more rewarding to their to their spiritual growth to their educational growth and things like that so I don't want to get too deep into that but you you know each parents got to decide what's best for them and for their family and for their kids I mean obviously I taught ballet and I taught martial arts and I think these can be valuable things in various ways but to be honest you know especially the martial arts because their kids can learn how to defend themselves against attackers but really I think it's I still believe it would be more important for that child to be a home with their mom learning things or their dad learning some valuable skills that they definitely will need dance is not necessarily a valuable skill martial arts can be but I do still think there's more valuable skills than not that can be learned and so it's it's just all a matter of what's gonna fit in best to your schedule and and your lifestyle and what you think is right for your child and then as far as homeschooling goes it's a lot of people think almost so expensive to get books and all that kind of stuff and we actually have a video we did about homeschooling I think maybe two years ago drops our unit off so I will go ahead and link to that up above and down below if you're interested because I am always all about encouraging people to home-school because I believe anyone can do it I really do that I believe even single moms can pull it off if that have to work outside the home because you can again when you look at the amount of time it takes kids to do their homework in public school and then the amount of time it actually takes to home-school it's about the same or even less for them to home-school so you know I believe it can be done and no you don't have to be a college graduate or even a high school graduate for that matter because just like with skills you can learn a lot of this stuff right along with your children so I look at the fact that like with Ryan my oldest whenever I started learning a new skill and getting into it like quilt making and crocheting he was so intrigued by that stuff that he'd seen me do that that he wanted to learn how to do it just to know how yeah it wasn't something he would stick to for a long period of time he just wanted to know how and so I taught him right when I was right along with myself as I was learning and yeah he managed to make you know you might have seen a video on this before where he made an Afghan for his grandma and he made a quilt for himself and it was only nine years old at the time he knows how to run a sewing machine at the absolutely hostile and he knows how to work a crochet hook if he absolutely has to it's not something he wanted to continue but he likes knowing that he knows how to do it now and then of course there's always the whole idea of putting up food canning and preserving your food is a way that you can be more frugal and have food ready to go sir is always there and again another skill that your children are learning right along with you beyond the weight another very very valuable thing that you can teach your kids that's not being taught in the public school system but by being a stay-at-home mom look at what you're able to do I'm not saying that if you work outside the home you can't teach your kids some of these skin I mean I believe it can be done it's just that your time is going to be a lot more sparse and in being able to do that because most likely when you come home from work you and your spouse if you're both working all day still have to do your chores you're probably running your kids to and from school events and different things like that and so where's the time where's the time for you to even teach yourself let alone teach your kids again this is about being able to encourage you people that who really desire to do this that it really can be done again I do realize there's going to be special situations that don't fit into this but I do believe especially if you're married that you can make it work just find those areas that you can cut that are not necessary and the areas that you can work on developing your skills and know-how so that you can start learning how to do things for yourself to save them money that would otherwise be spent on buying these things from the store online and so don't forget we have a whole long list of videos just on frugality we have we have the whole five ways to save series and in those videos we also have people who have put in their ideas of different things in ways that they like to save and so reading some of those comments can be helpful we've also done videos where we've read other people's comments and we will have more of those coming up in case you saw it didn't say our last video or Patrick and I talked about the benefits of frugality and then we're going to start doing a thing where we have an ongoing thing where we read about different ways that people save money and the benefits how it benefited them in various ways to be that way to be frugal and then you know that there's the debt-free video there's the homeschooling video and then I have all those different how-to videos on how you can and do things for yourself that will save you lots and lots of money in order to be able to stay at home and and fulfill the calling date that I believe is on most women's lives because especially those of us who are believers we definitely you know this is what God has instructed us to do in his word and I know a lot of these things aren't taught in church anymore so this may sound kind of almost foreign to even the Christian lady but a lot because a lot of churches just don't teach this but the pastors I listen to they do and so I'm gonna go ahead and link to a couple of sermons down below keep in mind these are going to be very different than the kind of sermons you hear in most modern churches and it may especially if you've been raised in this modern culture it may kind of rub you wrong some of the things that are said it doesn't me because I'm used to hearing I when I first heard these sermons I was excited and ecstatic to finally hear there's actually pastors out there that preach on these things that you never hear any more because because it makes a lot of people angry and that's because of the culture were more in right now what we're being bombarded with through television through music through just the culture in general through the public school system and so many other ways that you know a woman is supposed to do this and work outside the home and she's you know men and women are the same as like they're not we're not the same and God gave us different roles in different designs for our household and here's the other thing I really want to add and this is probably the most important thing is that when as a woman we follow and fulfill or do the best we can through God's strength the role that he's designed for us you know being submissive to our husbands and I know that sounds hard to hear but it's understanding what that really means and honoring our husbands and honoring the Lord by living this lifestyle we get blessed in a way that we never could imagine me put it this way even though I've always been a stay-at-home mom even though I I've always run my business out of the home I still had ways about me that I did not honor my husband the way I should have I wasn't as submissive to my husband as I should have been I thought I was I thought I was doing the right thing but until like fully understood what what God's Word said on this and I learned to to really honor my husband like truly honor him all of a sudden there was a change when we've always had a pretty good marriage but any places where I can see that we really had issues where we butt heads a lot of it had to do with my own pride and that feminist spirit that tends to be in us all ladies especially in this modern culture no matter how hard we try to avoid it it's there once once we learn to kind of curb that and rein it in and get a hold of it suddenly there's this change that happens and I any of the troubles I can say that we've had in our marriage in the past could come back to my own attitude on this and not fully understanding what God's Word said and once I started to change that or I should say once I asked God to change me and he was able to work in my life and show me the areas that I needed to change and start truly honoring my husband our relationship changed so being submissive doesn't mean being a slave or being browbeating all the time but what happens is once you honor your husband he then there's what happens is there's a certain amount of respect that gets paid back and a certain amount of trust that gets paid back and then I found so much more freedom in in being a woman and being a wife and being a mother once I was able to understand this that the way I treat my husband is going to then I'm going to be blessed by that by his own change in behavior towards me and his own change in attitude and this is not I'm not trying to say that Patrick was ever bad or abusive or anything like that I'm just trying to say that there's a certain amount of respect one to give that out then it comes right back to you this kind of this goes with any area in your life in any relationship that when you give kindness and love to others you will get that back and the same applies especially to your marriage and to your kids showing love and respect for them simply as humans that we should have that anyway and not lord over our children simply because we're an adult but yes we are the authority figure over them but that doesn't mean it's a way to be abusive and say that you're not smart enough or you're not good enough and and the same thing applies to the husband and so once we both understand our proper roles then true freedom and happiness can be found and I am always getting excited about this this topic because when we start seeking and fulfilling God's will and in our rules for our lives then he turns and blesses us for that and I don't even think that he has to specifically do it I think it just happens naturally because we're doing what naturally we're supposed to be doing in the first place so anyway I hope this doesn't anger anyone is certainly not my goal remember I do understand if you're each own unique situations that require you to be in a certain place or at least in a certain place for a time until you can get where you truly want to be as far as this goes and so no judgment there on my part it's all meant everything I say is meant to be encouraging to those who seek to who are seeking that biblical godly wife lifestyle and being a keeper at home so I hope you found this helpful and also for those ladies who are already in this you know who are there who managed to find a way to be able to be that keeper of home in our modern culture what are some ways that you were able to make that work for you go ahead and share those down below because I think a lot of people could really glean a lot from what you have to say and not just me because all of our situations are going to be very different and unique and we've got to find what works for us all right well I hope you enjoyed this chat time and again that you took it the way it was meant you know I'm all love and kindness and no judgment thanks for watching take care and God bless [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Rain Country

Views: 11,480

Rating: 4.9044371 out of 5

Keywords: traditional, old-ways, Health, Garden, Frugal, Homesteading, Self-Sustainability, Cooking, DIY, Homemade, natural-living, herbs, keeper at home, frugality, debt free, one income home, Bible, God's Design

Id: Iyp550tLzNQ

Length: 30min 30sec (1830 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 05 2019