Become The Boss Of Your Brain in 5 Steps

today we're going to talk about the steps to being able to get in charge of your own mind but they're going to be counterintuitive many of them are going to go against what you have learned maybe what other people have suggests that you do and some of them might even feel uncomfortable when you start doing them but they are going to change your life and you are going to blow your own mind when you start really putting these into practice and knowing too that your brain might be resistant to them at first because like i said they are contrary to what most of us think or maybe maybe what most of us have taught or been told about ways to feel more in charge of our minds and emotions so if you've been struggling with that learning this today is going to help you at least struggle with it less these are deeper concepts that we explore and learn and really practice and implement more deeply in the shift society that's my membership community that you can get more information about in the description below if you're like i need some support with this i want to do this and i want to do it not alone and i want to be a part of something and with a community of other people who are doing this work and be encouraged and supported and get help along the way then get more information about the shift society if you're new here welcome to our incredible little corner on the internet take a second and introduce yourself in the comment section below if you're back again it's always good to have you here say hello um and if you have been here for a while or brand new hit the subscribe button the button's about right down there and then you'll get notified when new videos come out either way my name is julia christina and i am a registered clinical therapist a researcher a coach and the creator of my membership community like i was mentioning to you the shift society that you can get more information about in the description below i help heart-centered humans break through the crap that is holding them back so they can like themselves and their lives more every day and a mismanaged mind is a lot of the crap that is holding you back and preventing you from liking yourself and your life more every day learning how to manage your mind is going to change your life it's probably the biggest thing that you are in charge of that is going to change your life so this is why i want to talk about this today and i want to start off by busting a myth that i see out there a lot in in the mental health realm and the mental wellness in the personal development and this is this whole concept that you can learn how to control your thoughts and i want to tell you right now that that is just not true you cannot stop your brain from thinking any kind of negative self-defeating self-destructive you know even self-critical thoughts once and for all you can't control your brain to that level human brains think thoughts they think all kinds of thoughts they think thousands of thoughts and to think that you are supposed to get to a point where you stop all together thinking certain thoughts it's just not possible because you don't have control over the thoughts for the most part the thoughts that come into your brain now we're going to talk about how we can you know mitigate what kinds of thoughts come in how we can kind of manage what kind of thoughts come in and how we can decrease the number of self-critical self-defeating negative whatever thoughts whatever that is that come in that aren't helpful let's call them the unhelpful ones we can decrease the number but you can't stop them you can't control your brain to that extent so that they never come in but what you can do and what you're going to learn how to do today is how to manage the unhelpful thoughts when they do come in so if you have thought that you are somehow failing on your journey as a human being because you haven't you've been working on for a long time and haven't ever figured out how to stop your brain from having any unhelpful thoughts so therefore you're broken or weird or there's something wrong with you i want you to know that that is not true that is completely false there is nothing wrong with you if you have a human brain it is going to have all kinds of thoughts so then what do we do when these thoughts come in here are the five steps first of all you are going to listen to and acknowledge your thoughts this is going to be really counter-intuitive especially when the unpleasant thoughts come in you're not going to want to listen to them you're going to want to avoid or repress or deny or escape from them as quickly as possible and to know that that's normal it's just our human brain doesn't like to feel uncomfortable as humans we are kind of motivated to move towards pleasure and away from pain so if you have an uncomfortable thought a difficult thought you're going to want to get rid of it as quickly as possible but the thing is when we do that the thought often kind of doesn't go away it just sort of sort of lingers there in the background and it kind of just pops up and pops out when our guard is down when we are feeling vulnerable that thought will come in and try to you know wedge its way in there and and get us down or throw us off in some way so just ignoring it or repressing it or denying it is not going to help we can't work on something if we won't even acknowledge that it's there in the first place this doesn't mean that by acknowledging it that you have to believe it that you have to cling to it that you have to run with it that you have to follow that thought it just means that you're going to acknowledge it you're going to say hey i notice my brain thinking this thought if you think about a boss of a big company in a team meeting and there's a bunch of people in there and everyone's kind of throwing their ideas in right there's all kinds of ideas that are coming at the boss the boss isn't going to go with every single idea but it also wouldn't be helpful if the boss rejects every single idea but if the boss is there and is like okay i'm going to acknowledge every idea and then we're going to talk about this more in a minute then i'm going to consciously choose which ones seem helpful seem reasonable seem interesting and we're going to go with those but i get to choose which thoughts which ideas which is which of the things that are coming at me which ones i want to go with but the first step is to just acknowledge there's a lot coming in there and that that is okay i don't have to run from my thoughts they are just thoughts which brings us to the next step which i mentioned already but i want to go into this a little bit more in that accepting that your brain is always going to throw critical defeating doubtful fearful thought to you your brain is always going to throw those at you now some of you you might have a brain right now who is throwing a lot of them at you a lot of the time and you're like i just need to not have my brain throwing this at me so often so much with such you know consistency i like my brain to be a little less consistent with these kinds of thoughts that is the work that we're doing in the shift society so you can get more information about that in the description below like i said we are taking this deeper to learn how to change your brain so it's not coming at you like that so it's not it's not holding you back your brain is not holding you back and getting away and making you feel miserable and making you struggle and feel stuck more often than not so that's the deeper work we're doing in there but in the meantime just accepting that your brain is just gonna have thoughts that are not the most becoming that are not the most pleasant that's just what human brains do nothing has gone wrong if your brain has a lot of different thoughts it's like if you turned on a faucet and water came out you wouldn't be shocked about that because that's just what happens right faucets turned on faucets produce water brains produce thoughts and they produce all kinds of thoughts and like i said the work is to get in there and to decide which are the helpful thoughts and which are the unhelpful thoughts and then working through the unhelpful thoughts and managing and dealing with the unhelpful thoughts so that they are not the ones that are dictating your life they are not the ones driving your bus but just accepting your brain is going to have all kinds of thoughts nothing has gone wrong that's what human brains do the next step is to just notice that your thoughts are just thoughts they are interpretations they are ideas beliefs and perspectives that your brain has picked up along the way during your life for one reason or another they are things that they are they are words put together in sentences that have some kind of meaning that your brain has made up based on things that you were taught you were told you observed you absorbed from things that you went through from things you experienced good and not so good but they are just thoughts they are just words and learning how to just attach less to our thoughts is something that um that you can learn through my 10 minute guided mindfulness exercise that you can get in the description below that's free and that's just going to walk you through an exercise to learn how to not attach so tightly to our thoughts but that in and of itself is going to be life transforming when you you're able to just say hey this is just my human brain having human thoughts and that's not a problem the problem is when i run with the thoughts that aren't helpful when i believe the thoughts that aren't helpful when i indulge the thoughts that aren't helpful and i'm not discerning with which thoughts i want my brain to think instead of just letting it go with whatever thought it comes up with and clinging to that and believing that following that one to wherever it goes so thoughts are just thoughts the next step is to attach to the ones that are helpful and leave the ones that aren't so this isn't to say contrary to a lot of teachers it doesn't say just attached to the positive ones attached to the lovely light and you know pleasant ones this is about learning which thoughts are helpful and which ones are not helpful which ones which thoughts are going to help you feel how you want to feel that are going to help you make choices that you want to make that are going to lead to the outcomes that you want to have in your life so it might be that if someone gives you feedback on something you know and it feels a little bit uncomfortable and you're like well i'm just you know that person said that i could have done better on this project and you're like well i'm just gonna you know i'm just gonna think positive and be like they don't know what they're talking about you know i'm great i'm amazing right and this isn't about just choosing whichever thought is going to be the positive thought and disregarding anything else this is about responsible thinking which thought is going to be helpful if someone has some feedback for me then i get to decide whether or not that is helpful feedback and if it is helpful feedback what i want to do with that i'm like you know what there might be some truth to that let me look into that maybe i could learn from this maybe i could grow from this doesn't mean that any unpleasant thought that we have we just get rid of as quickly as possible it's not whether or not the thought is unpleasant it's whether or not the thought is helpful so if someone gives me feedback on something and even if you know it doesn't feel great to have you know someone not fully approve of something that we've done is it going to be helpful for me to think okay let me look at this let me figure out if there's something valuable in this let me figure out if there's something i could do with this do you see the difference there that is something that i think a lot of times gets mistaken in the personal development role even in the mental health realm it's not about positive thinking it's about responsible thinking which thoughts are going to be helpful and how i know that they're helpful is that they're going to lead to some kind of productive action some kind of action that's going to get me a result that i want which then leads us to the next step which is that we can also decide on purpose which thoughts we want to think even when it's not just about managing the thoughts that are coming in so we've been talking a lot about what to do with thoughts when they come in your brain and how to be intentional how to not overly attach to them how to decide which ones we want to keep and what we want to do with them but even when your brain you're not just sort of managing the thoughts that are there you can intentionally bring in thoughts that you want to be thinking that are going to create the feelings that you want to have that are going to drive the behaviors you want to be taking that are going to get you the outcomes that you want to get in your life so which thoughts do you want to be intentionally remembering to think if it's just going through life on a daily basis during a hard time and things are challenging and you're like ah this is really hard i don't know if i can do it to be able to say to yourself you can do hard things i believe in you i'm there for you you've done hard things before you've gotten through challenges before and you can do it again if you've been holding yourself back because you're worried about what other people are going to think about you you're worrying about being criticized or judged maybe you're avoiding interactions or people or circumstances because you're worried about what they're going to say reminding yourself that i am more in charge of my mind and emotions than anyone else is i don't have to control what they say i have to learn how to manage my mind regardless if it's just reminding yourself on a daily basis when you know when things are feeling kind of chaotic in your life to be able to say i can find a space of calm and groundedness i am calm and grounded i can take what life is throwing at me in stride if it's about things not going exactly how you want them to go and you're kind of just in a season in life where things are not turning out the way that you want what do you need to hear from yourself do you need to hear something like things don't need to go my way in order for me to be okay i can figure out a way through i don't need everything to be a certain way i don't need everything to be perfect it can be hard and i can do hard things and i'm going to get to the other side of it if it is about someone that is being rude to you or someone that was rude to and you're sitting and you're just like trying to sort out how you feel about that what do you need to hear from yourself do you hear that this is not about me this is about whatever they have going on and them not managing their mind well enough to express that in a responsible a respectful way what do you need to hear from yourself so this can be you know what thoughts do you want to be thinking in any given situation or it can just be thoughts that you want to be priming your brain with on a regular basis so working that out with yourself what's going to be most helpful for you the question in any circumstance is not which thought is true people often say well julia how do i know which thought is the right thought which is the true thought and the truth is a lot of the times we don't know and a lot of times our thoughts are just interpretations so there isn't necessarily a true or right thought so that is not the question we need to be asking ourselves the question is not which thought is true the question is which thought is helpful which thought is going to create the feelings i want to be feeling which is going to drive the behaviors i want to be taking which is going to get the me the outcome that i want to have to the extent of my influence over what's happening again knowing that we can't control our circumstances we can have influence over them and we can manage ourselves and make choices within them but we can't always control our circumstances again that word control apparently i have a bit of a sordid relationship with the word i don't love it so becoming in charge of your mind a lot of it is counter-intuitive a lot of it requires leaning in getting curious acknowledging accepting unattaching thinking on purpose being discerning being responsible if you need some more support with this come and join us in the shift society this is the deeper work we're doing i teach you a step-by-step process to master this and then you're supported the whole way through you're doing doing it with a whole community of like-minded humans who are doing this work as well who are there to support you encourage you and be with you and it really is like no other place um i was gonna say in the world but i don't know but any other place that i've come across on the internet this community is incredible and i want you to come and be a part of it and see for yourself how much you can learn and grow and transform and blow your own mind with what you'll learn in there get on the wait list just in the description below you can also grab that free guided mindfulness exercise in the meantime always good to have you here until next time take good care you

Channel: Julia Kristina Counselling

Views: 22,729

Keywords: boss of your brain, brain boss, mental health strategies, mental health tips, happiness tips, transform your brain, get out of your head, how to get out of your head, get out of my head, stop overthinking, how to stop overthinking, Rafael Eliassen overthinking, mindfulness cbt, cbt for anxiety, cbt tips, cbt, cbt therapist, youtube therapist, julia kristina, julia kristina counselling, therapy in a nutshell, psych hub, anxiety help, anxiety therapy

Id: ojsNGLV37E4

Length: 18min 59sec (1139 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 01 2021