Why are you making me cry? - [Beauty] Damn it
- It's really like that when you're a mom. Moms are like that. Do all your guests really cry? I don't know. Maybe there's something on that side. I saw a lot of your guests crying. I researched. I asked if Toni would send the questions. They said there's none. I'll really cry tomorrow. Damn it. You know, we'll be taking a trip back to Circa 2014. I hope you remember my best friend who's tired of giving
birth and getting fooled by men. That's her, Wella in our movie, Starting Over Again. Beauty Gonzalez-Crisologo. Thank you. You were so great in that movie, a true scene stealer. Oh wow. You, - [Toni] Iza.
- I wouldn't have been able to do that without you. [Toni] Yes, but after that everything went well for you. Career-wise. Because, I got noticed. Yes, thank you so much, Inang. It was such an honor. Right? Thank you. But honestly, I cannot do that scene without you. I've already said this a while ago before we sat here, as an actress, it's nice to act when the actor you are performing a scene with also gives it their all. And it was easy. Like when we did that scene, it only took one take. It only took one take. You know with that scene, Beauty was this honest. Oh my god. Inang said, when she approached us, while we were sitting on the gutter of the condo. "Beauty." "If you can do this in one take, I will no longer take a tight shot." "This would serve as my shot, take 1." "Just pour all your emotions into it Inang said to Beauty, "Sweetheart, I need you to cry in this scene." "I want you to cry in the line where you're tired of giving birth because you're fooled many times by men." You know what Beauty answered? She's the only one with guts to answer that - to Inang.
- Oh my god. Do you remember what you said? I'm not sure. She answered Inang with, "Inang, I can't manage to cry right now." Inang asked, "Why?" "I don't think I can cry." Inang asked, "Why can't you cry?" "We'll be taking long if you don't" "I would have to do a tight shot and motivate you." "Yes, because I don't think I can cry." And I said, "Beauty is so unbelievable." "She really said that to Inang?" And Inang turned to me and she said. she inclined her head to me as if saying, look. And you cried. - I cried.
- Take one. And after that we all packed up. Yeah, that was right. I was surprised. - I said, how did that happen?
- You were so good. Because, as I said, you also gave it your all. I understood the scene. As soon as I sat down, I said, okay, alright, I can feel this now. I felt it now. And when the scene rolled, we were supposed to rehearse it first before doing take, I said, okay, alright. I don't know, it just happened. - She suddenly cried.
- When it happens, it happens. Then it was over. Inang approached us. "Inang, Beauty did cry!" "I told you." "Actors like her only think they can't cry." But once they're immersed into the scene. But you know Beauty, she's a really good actress. Isn't your heart always... Very honest. Yes, very open. Very open like, yeah. Whatever I feel, I really say it in a nice way as possible all the time. Because for me, it's better that way. As an actress, you have to be sincere. You have to be honest about yourself and your character so that you can also deliver. That's how people can see you are sincere. Beauty grew up in Dumaguete, right? Dumaguete Princess. Not a princess exactly. - There are other princesses wealthier than I am.
- Hey, you are a princess. Beauty is a princess because they have a hacienda. - No.
- Beauty grew up like a princess in her home town. Well, yeah. - Right?
- Thanks to my parents. That's your story in PBB (Pinoy Big Brother). It was only by accident that I-- Actually, it's not accident. You really weren't supposed to join PBB. I wasn't really supposed to join. Well thanks to my parents, I had a good life. More than enough that I could want in my life. I didn't want to join PBB because what am I going to do in Manila? I don't have any friends. I don't even know anyone. I haven't even ridden a plane. So you were like overwhelmed? Something like that. So she really persisted. She said, I should join PBB. I said, what's that? She said, there was an audition near our house. I said, I didn't want to wait in line. You're on your own. She made your nanny wait in line for you. Seriously. Yeah. Because I really didn't want to join. Yes. And then I was very honest about it. When it was my turn, of course I went there by myself. I took a sticker. What did they ask you? "Why do you want to join?" I said, my mother really wanted me to join. Why? Because she didn't want me to marry someone cheap here. - You said that?
- Yes. They said, "Ah, okay." "So you don't really want to join?" Yeah. "Do you have a talent?" None. And they said, "Are there really none?" Oh I do, I can do baton. You said that? Yes, so I did baton there. I said, that's the only thing I can do. Do you remember who interviewed you? Director Lauren. Yeah, Lauren. You didn't get nervous back then? - Director Lauren was in front of you.
- I didn't know him. Look at that. What was your dream as a kid? I told my mom when I was young, I don't want to go to college. I want to have my own cemetery. Cemetery. Why a cemetery? I mean like, you know, Why a cemetery? Because we had a plot of land at the back of our house that has a public cemetery. And I wanted to have my own private one that's beautiful, but of course, also affordable. And I want to design a nice cemetery. I find it so nice and gothic and beautiful. And I wanted to design a nice casket. Let's say if you're an LGBT, I'm going to make you a rainbow casket, I don't know. - No way?
- If you're into that. Yeah. That was your dream as a kid? Yeah, and my mom-- Imagine that. That's Beauty's dream, to have her own cemetery. With her beauty? - It's not a problem.
- You would curate a cemetery. So that's your dream. You met Director Lauren. You said, you didn't want to be an actor. You didn't want to be a housemate. You were surprised when you passed the audition? Yeah, I was surprised. I got in. I said, oh my god, so what am I going to do now? And then my mom also got in. I said, oh no, what is this? We'll be both be in the house together. My mom was with me right? - Yes.
- There were parents. I said, huh. And my mom and I haven't been getting along back then. I said, we would really end up arguing in there. The whole world would witness how we argue. Fortunately, we didn't end up arguing in there. So I got in and enjoyed at first. And then after a while, I wondered why no one nominated me. And then at the end I was the fourth placer. But after PBB you still didn't want to be an actor, right? Not yet because I really didn't understand the system. Our work, the working hours. I never had a workshop. I just got pulled into it. I did my first show with my idol. Who? When I was a kid our helpers always watched Claudine Barretto shows. So all of them, Mula Sa Puso, Saan Ka Man Naroroon, I watched them all. That was my first show in ABS-CBN. With Claudine? With Claudine. Were you startstruck? Yes. And when I was asked to cry, [Beauty] huh? I was staring at Claudine then they want me to cry? Did you cry? No, because I saw, I don't want to name them, when the headset's handed to the actors, I hear them getting scolded through it. So when I didn't cry, the headset was coming, You cried. I cried then, it took me a long time to get over it. I mean, I didn't appreciate the process before. And honestly, what I earn before, I was also surprised. That it's like this. You can earn from this. So I was able to enjoy being an actor. And then, it was hard at the beginning. I was always the... Friend. Yeah, friend. I enjoyed it, I mean, not in a bad way. It's just hard to stand there and not do anything. That you'll just have to follow whatever the lead role does. So one time, I said, I don't want it to be like this. I would treat the writers. I asked them to give me more lines. - Really?
- Yes. I want to have life. Give me more lines. When the lead says, come on. I would say, "let's go!" It's like that, right? But the camera panned up to me. And then that's when I learned how to read a script. That's when I learned how to act. Being a best friend. That was your workshop. That was my workshop. As a friend. What did you learn from the time you played as a friend? It's really important as a friend of the leading role that you also give it your all. Because it really won't work if you don't. Even if you're the lead or not, even if you simply walk in the background, you have to be in the scene to make everything work. It's like every role is important. - Yes.
- There are no small roles. Yeah, there are no small actors. Yes, of course. Because I think right after 2014, right after Starting Over Again, 2015, you met Norman? Or 2014? I'm not sure. When did we meet? 2014? I don't count. Because the story I've heard of that is that Norman saw you in a magazine. - Yeah.
- He was entranced by your beauty. Yeah. He looked for you. Yes. It's like hello, you just saw me in a magazine and now you're looking for me. But you lingered [in his mind]. That's what I've been saying. You can appreciate beauty from a far. But for a guy to make a way to find the number of that girl whom he appreciated the beauty of. Because there are a lot of beautiful women in magazines. But you were the only one he looked for. Thanks, Bambi. Was it weird when he texted you? Oh yeah. He sent me a long text in english. I was like, oh my god, how would I reply to this text in english? It's so long. But what's the message you got from that long english text? Nothing, it's like I invite you to an Esquire event. I replied, not interested. That's all I said. Because it was very long. And I was in a crying moment for my scene. We were like in a squatter's area, it was hot. So someone sent me a very long text. What's this? At first glance, I thought, Is this person selling insurance? I haven't read it yet because everything was in english. He called me and then, it was a foreign number. So I thought it was one of my relatives from abroad. I said, I wonder who this is? Maybe it's my aunt. "Hi, I'm Normal Crisologo." "I want to invite you in an event." I said, huh? Who are you? I said. "I am a friend of Ellen." Right? You got my number from Ellen? Adarna? Yes, Ellen Adarna. And then, yeah, you had another date that time. But she hit her head. Oh, she hit her head. So it was cancelled. Fortunately, she bumped her head. So he asked you. I said, what's with him? Am I just a second opinion? Darn. So I didn't know. Damn it. Ellen said, "Come on, you should go." What event was that? In Esquire. Norman art directs photoshoots before. So Ellen called me. She said, "What are you saying?" "You should go there and he'll take care of you." If your exes back then treated you as a sugar mommy, now it's your turn to be treated like a princess. I laughed so hard. For a change. Yes. For a change. I said, it's possible, okay. So I went there. When I came, I was texting him and then I was texting Ellen. And then I couldn't find Ellen. Then we met up in the event. What was your initial reaction or impression of him? Is he nice? No, I was like... Does he look cool? Oh my god, he looks fancy. My english will be damned. Every time he talks, I was like, okay. Yeah, nice. I thought to myself, "Damn it." What did I get myself into? His friends all look fancy. And I didn't go to events like those, Toni. I don't go out. I mean, I rarely go out. And then I don't like dressing up, putting on make up. I was also overdressed at that time in the event. What did you wear? I wore a cocktail dress. I just wanted to burn. I wanted to simply evaporate because everyone was wearing casual wear. Because it was a cover for Eraserheads. I didn't know it was for a cover of Eraserheads. So I felt concious. You were wearing a cocktail? Yeah. But of course, Norman was holding my hand. I was like, okay, ignore them. I said, shit, his colleagues all look fancy. What should I do? And then I did some shots to relax myself. So that you would relax. And then after a while, Eraserheads suddenly played. The first song they played was Magasin. He did that on purpose. No. He did that on purpose. Admit it! Did you do that on purpose? I feel like he did that on purpose. "I saw you in a magazine". At first I didn't want to hug him. But eventually I did. Because it was touching. It's like a movie. And then Eraserheads for me is like the Beatles of the Philippines. - Like they are so good, right?
- Yes. Growing up, I mean, 90's. So I said, oh my god. I want to make things right. He was so smooth, really charming. It was so good. Really charming, like in the movies. I saw you in a magazine. Yeah, and I just had to hug him. I said, I want to make things right. So I told them, I have to leave. As the clock struck midnight, I left. You did things differently, you were like Cinderella. Yes. Okay. He allowed it? - Was he shocked?
- No, he even chased after me. - He said that we should talk.
- You were really like Cinderella. - He chased after you.
- "Let's talk in the hallway". Outside his room because it was loud in his room. When we talked in the hallway he said, "Why are you leaving?" I said, I have a work. I have a life. But deep inside, I wanted to stay. But I really wanted to make things right in my life. If I want this guy, I want to do it the right way. If he wants me, he'll still look for me and make ways to find me. So I left. It was fortunate that he saw my feet. That's what he always tells me. He fell more in love when he saw my feet. You really are Cinderella. I already took off my heels. Because I really regretted wearing them. I kept jumping because of Eraserheads. My feet had blisters because of my heels. When he saw your feet, he fell further in love with you? I know it seems shallow, but I find it so cute and funny. It's the small things. Yeah. It's the small things that matter. So I left. And then, yeah, I couldn't sleep. Because? I kept thinking if what I'm doing is right? I left. And there were a lot of models that was flirting with him. What should I do? I said. He's like such a nice guy. And then he suddenly called at around two in the morning. Oh, he's looking for me. Of course, I didn't answer immediately. I didn't answer it. - I went to sleep.
- You didn't want to act desperate. I slept. I said, okay, just how I wanted. Then I slept. Of course, he got more flustered. You didn't answer his calls. And then the next day, he visited my home. Here we go. And then there we go. He introduced me to his family, to his kids, to his mom. It happened that fast? - It happened that fast.
- He introduced you. And then he left for Europe. And I said, okay, alright. We only knew each other for 1 week. Let's see what would happen next. Oh girl, he sent me a letter in english. The context of the letter you received was? Or his message was? Yeah, that he loves me. And he wants to - pursue me.
- He already loves you. Something like that. It happened for a month and then we met up in Paris. And then I was swept away in the Eiffel Tower. And then that's it. - So that's the story.
- Wait, wait, wait. So how did you get to Paris? What pushed you? "Okay, I'm going to Paris." [Beauty] At that time, it just really felt good. I wasn't thinking of anything bad that may happen to me. And I felt that this guys is nice. He's very hard working sending me letters, photos with his friends. Jiger and the others. They visited many different places there. I mean, I saw his honesty and sincerity. And then I said-- But my friends scared me. I watched a lot of Taken movies. What is that? That seems wrong. Because of course, it was my first time to go abroad. I was scared. I would leave the country on my own. So what did you feel while in the plane on the way to Paris? You're about to meet this guy that he said he loves you. I was nervous as my plane landed. Because it was the first time in your life you did something like this. Yeah, it was my first time to leave on my own. It was my first time to leave the country to meet this guy. At 24, 25 years old, right? Oh my god, I hope Olivia won't be like that. I suddenly thought about it. You followed the guy, okay. But that was your love story anyways. It's like it just felt so right and I felt so safe. I already met his family. I met his kids. So what was that like when you saw him in Paris? Did you just fell in love? I was already in love and I couldn't return home. From then on, you were always together? We were always together. And then, it all went on from there. And my career really blossomed when I met Norman. Wow. My life totally changed. In what way? A lot. The way I think about things. The way I carry myself. I want to cry. You're getting emotional. Yes. Because? You know I'm always emotional. You're really emotional. I'm really emotional. Because he changed you for the better. Yeah. He revealed the true beauty in you. Yeah. And he totally knows me. He can... Why are you getting emotional when you talk about him? Because, you know, it's really unbelievable. Your love story. Yeah, I really get emotional about Norman because, I mean, I'm really lucky in all aspects like I was able to fix my relationship with my mom. And I think I'm a better person because of him. I'm a better mom. And you know, Your mother didn't like him in the beginning, right? Of course my mom was surprised by Norman's age. She said, "Oh my god, Beauty." "What if he gets sick, will you be his caretaker?" She's like that. Yes, like that. "What, are you his mistress?" "What is wrong with you, he already has a wife?" She had alot of questions. Of course, she was scared at first. My mom went nuts because when I came back from Paris, I didn't return to our home. In my house in Maginhawa. I left the house she gave me. I went with Norman. And then, - she came-- - She barged in.
- She barged in to your house? Yes. Did she get mad? No, I pretended to be asleep. I didn't want to wake up. No matter how much Norman tried to wake me, I didn't really want to wake up. - I really wasn't waking up.
- Did your mom get mad? Yes, she was in the living room. "Babes, your mom is here." So how did it end? How did you get your mother to go home? He and my mom talked. I just slept. They were on their own. The two of them talked. What did you say to mama? [Norman] I told her-- [Norman] She said, Beauty already has a lot of problems. [Norman] I said, I'm not part of the problem [Norman] I'm the solution. He's really good at answering. I'm not part of the problem, I am the solution. He's really good. He's really good, honestly. So much. I'm so lucky. It's like he can handle you. Yeah, all of us. Oh, right? Even my mom. There was a time that my mom and I were shouting at each other. And Norman was like, "I understand you." "I understand you." "I both understand you." But it's time that we both go." His english was so fancy too. He's always so calm. "You keep speaking in english." "What, do you think you can persuade me with your english?" You mother said that? Mothers are mostly like that. "Don't forget, you only have one mother." "But you can always replace your husband." Oh my gosh. That's also my mom and dad's dialogue. Yes. We cannot change our parents. But our spouses can be replaced. I laughed at her a lot. Why are you boomers like that? You all have the same dialogue. Where did you even get that from? How did your relationship change when Olivia came? Oh my god. Norman is really the best husband. I was never pressured being a mom, a wife. I got depressed because... Oh my god, I am such a crybaby. I was almost at the top of my career and then I got pregnant. You felt like you'll be put on hold? Because I've always been the best friend and now that I'm here, it'll be put on hold. So I said, oh my god. And then I still couldn't believe I was pregnant. I bought five pregnancy kits. Each and every one of them were positive. Positive. I cursed. What would happen to my career? How would I tell my mom? Thoughts like those. Norman really made me feel that it's okay. "You know, everything will be okay. I'll always be here for you." "Let's tell them about it and you know, everything will be okay." "Don't worry about it." "Don't think about it too much." "Everybody loves you." "And you're good at what you are doing." "And you know, you can come back." The best thing he did for me was we took a vacation. He took me away from here because I was getting depressed. It was depressing. People's words were really depressing. Judgment. Yeah. Their opinions. Yeah, it's depressing, right? So that was the best gift. I was there, walking. Pregnant, okay. - I was happy.
- Yes. So you were 25 when you first had your child. What was that feeling like? Being a mother at 25? I couldn't sleep the first night. I was just looking at her. She's so beautiful. Or is she still breathing? Those thoughts. Moments were you would hover your hand over her or look at her in your peripheral. You seemed a little paranoid. I remember when I was about to give birth, I said, "You're coming with me alright. Because I don't want you to have another one from whoever, just me." "And this is the last." "So that you could see how painful this is." I said to him. So he came with me and he laughed because while I was in operation I said, "What's happening?" I didn't want to sleep. And then he was singing "I'm on the top of the world..." He was singing to you? Then I calmed down. It was just the most beautiful experience and then I was just so happy because Norman made it easier for me. Like taking care of the baby. Breast feeding was a problem to me. He said that if I can't do it anymore don't continue. "I need a happy wife." "We need a happy mom." I had the best pregnancy and I was traveling with my baby, she's only two weeks by then. We brought her to India. She's been to 5 continents already. And it's the best experience for me to travel with her, just the three of us. - So it's like you're always in an adventure?
- We were bonding. Yeah, we're always in an adventure. And one time there was-- We were traveling and we had a connecting flight. I ran out of clothes for Olivia because when babies cry they vomit? Yes. She'll vomit. It's frustrating sometimes. Her clothes were all in the luggage, you had none in your hand carry? Yes, everything is in the luggage. I've ran out of clothes in the hand carry because we had two flights. And can you imagine-- What airport was that in? HongKong? Yeah, Hong Kong. No one sold baby clothes. I was crying. I said, what am I going to do now? She's too small for a t-shirt. I saw a dog shirt. You're really something else. Yeah. They're incredible. They have no baby clothes but they have dog shirts. Yes, so I saw a dog shirt. I was like, give me scissors. Dog shirts have sleeves for the arms right? I cut off those sleeves. So the back became a razorback and there it was. She has a tank top. Wasn't it the best. I'm laughing now at those kind of memories. I still kept the shirt. It's still there in her box. And I'm going to show it to her when she's grown up. It should be with a picture. Yes, I have one. Oh, you're wearing a dog shirt. How old was Olivia when you got married? She wasn't even 1 year old, right? [Norman] No, almost 2 years old. Oh, she was already almost 2 years old? What was that like? The ceremony, the whole process of getting married? Your wedding was beautiful, it was like a black and white theme. We were all having fun. It was a happy wedding. What was your vow to him? Well, I promised him that I would make these last few years be the best times of his life. Why the last few years? Because if you do the math. we know that... I don't want to say it. I really want to have the best times with him. To give him the best memories. Happiness. Like that, that's my vow to him. I'm scared of being alone. That's your biggest fear? That you would not have someone to grow old with? Yeah. His vow was, if we spread love to a lot of people, and those people... will also give love to you. And he would make sure to spread love to a lot of people to show them how nice you are as a person. I have a lot of fear in life. During the pandemic, there were a lot. There really are a lot. I mean, I always overthink. I must admit, I have an imposter syndrome. I have anxieties. But you know, it's important that you have a really nice support system. And I'm really thankful that Norman is there. What is imposter syndrome? When you think that you got into a place only through luck. It's not all hardship. Ah, so it's all just luck. You felt like you didn't deserve it. - I don't deserve it.
- That's what you feel. Yeah, it's like I just get lucky. That you're not worth it. And he always tells me that good things happen to good people. How would you describe your life right now? Oh, beautiful. Life is beautiful just like my name. Yes, Beauty.
