[upbeat music] You know, before our conversation last night, I messaged all her kids, and I asked them: "If you were to describe
your mom in one word..." "...what's it?" And her eldest, she said to me that: To her, "Her mom is selfless." She even wrote the reason why: "Because she always put others above herself," said Dani. And then Julia, she told me: To her, "Her mom is unbreakable." For Claudia, she said: "My mom is resilient." For Leon, he said to me: "My mom is strong." And for Erich, she didn't agree to just one word. Two words: For her, "Her mom is courageous and beautiful." It's nice to hear, "This is how my children see me as a mother." So we have with us, a strong mother, - Ms. Marjorie Barretto.
- Why's it like this from the start?! That's so... Happy and I don't know... - Happy Mother's Day
- [laughs] Oh my gosh! Happy Mother's Day to you too. We are just starting.
I didn't know that. How did you become a strong mother? First of all, you don't have a choice, right? I had my first child at nineteen. (it wasn't planned) Like once you become a mother,
you're a mother for life. And that's 24/7: no resignation, no retirement... - no...
- Day off. No day off! That's forever. So... I think God just gives us that
grace and strength that... comes maybe out of our love for our kids. I think I was strong at a young age. So right away... When I have a problem, Toni, right away, I get to it... "I rise above right away." I don't give myself time to... to cry, to fall apart, even to cry. Why? I don't know. Sometimes, I want to really cry... I want to have that one good cry, but I felt that can come later on. I have to fix this first. And then Dani and I were alone also. Because I didn't have
her father with me, right? So I think that started with Dani. What did you learn about yourself
when you had Dani? My strength. Also my independence. I practically grew up with her. If you think about it... I've been a mom for almost 28 years. For me, it's hard to be a mother, as it is. But to become a public figure, while you have the public like: watching you, judging you,
they have their perception, - they have their assumptions about you.
- Yes. And you have dealt with that your whole life. My whole life. And your life, it's just like... Because everything is made public, and they're quick to give us judgement, "Some of the current issues
have already grown new stories." It really does make it harder. But now that I see my kids are older, I think it's rewarding when their older. Rewarding in the sense like this: When I still worry about them,
like when there are judgments... or bashing or whatever like that, "They all get it." All of them. No one is spared from my children. I want to start worrying about them, and then I realized,
"They're strong on their own." (they're so strong) So I saw in them whatever
strength they saw in me, and they've picked that up. I was given the opportunity
to talk to Dani and Julia - for my other show, I Feel U.
- Yes, yes. And I love what Julia said: "When there's a problem,
you deal with it as a family..." "...and you have your own bubble
that no one can penetrate." And then for Dani, she always says: "Her wisdom..." (the wisdom they have) "...is because of you." I think a lot of their wisdom
comes from also experience. Because people think... that they're spoiled or
they have an easy life. (that's not it) Claudia is very eloquent
because she reads so much... and she's taking up psychology, - so she has a better understanding of people.
- Human. Yes. She was that child who doesn't
need much supervision. She was very independent as a kid. (very organized) As a kid, she knows how to pack her own things. She has her own way, really. So for the wisdom of Julia, comes from all her experiences
from the industry. And she grew up in the industry. And when she wanted to enter the business, I really said, "No." She really had to cry, and I said: - "Oh, it's cruel. It's a different world."
- What made you say yes? She really was crying, and she said: "I know I can handle anything." So her wisdom comes from: a lot of hurt, a lot of pain, a lot of forgiveness, so much. For Julia, most people thought
about her is like: "Ah, she's just a kid," like that. You cannot underestimate her strength. That girl... like sometimes, I'm like, "Jul..." (I'm the one who's worried for her) "No, mom, you know. Mom, it's nothing." She's strong. For Dani, her wisdom... is from because she probably
had to grow up with me. I think she was really left with no choice. So amongst all of my children, whatever parenting mistakes I've made, I made it will her because she's my first. I see that in Dani now that
she's a mom and she's a wife, "You see her strength." You know, how she's on top of everything, and I thought, Toni, I thought growing up, I said: "She's the rebellious among my kids
and does not listen to me." "She does the opposite of what I say." But now that she's a mom and a wife, I see like: "Gosh, everything that I told her..." "...she rejected at first, but it was in her." And Leon also has his strengths: - He's so smart, he's so like...
- He's so tall. - He's so tall. 6'4"
- [laughs] - That had nothing to do with my parenting,
- [laughs] but he's so tall and he's so handsome
and he's such a good student. He has such great grades. And even without me telling my son, "You have to do this,
you have to be responsible" "...cause you're the only man in my house." Only one, indeed. The only one. - He's the man of the house.
- He's the man of the house. He became responsible on his own, but I had a lot of shortcomings
with Leon because he's a boy. No one's ever taught him
how to play the basketball or ride a bike or... - you know...
- Man stuff. I'm so glad he forgives me for that. You know, there's so many things that... he didn't experience
because it was only me. Right? But he's so nice about it. - And so helpful with me.
- With your vlog. - He's the cameraman.
- If not for him, there's no vlog. [laughs] And then Erich is 9 years old,
but she's wise beyond her age. She gives us really good advice,
and she's strong for us, and she knows everything that
happens in the house. She knows when there's a scandal, like this or like that... she knows. She's aware, and she's very understanding, and she's so wise about it, and very calm. When there's chaos, "She's calm." She knows how to... She knows when to be strong. She does not act like a baby
when we have... when there's crisis in the family. So I think that's my reward... you know, God gave me all these kids, and I know for my kids, all I really want is to equip them
for the outside world, and I think they're more than equipped. Speaking of public scrutiny and judgement, - your kids had their fair share,
- Yeah. - especially Julia.
- Oh, wow. Yes. But as a mother... - to listen to all the judgments,
- Yes. - the assumptions,
- Yes, yes. the narrative of the story
that's been going on for 2 years? - Almost 2 years, isn't it?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a mother, how do you handle this? Julia has been through so much issues... - Since she was sixteen?
- Since she was sixteen. And she can really handle herself. (she's very strong) But sometimes... it is so frustrating when you know the truth. [intense sound] I really understand... you know the struggle of not talking? When you don't... I don't know if I'm a people-pleaser, Toni. Maybe I don't want people
to think I'm a loudmouth. (I'm not) But I have these moments, I tell you, and I always tell my kids, I wanna remind that person... who always hits on my daughter that: "Her mother is still alive!" I'm alive and well! You better know when to stop. [intense sound] "Bashers... they don't count." To be honest, Toni. I mean, this is not addressed
to them because... just block and delete,
and they're out of our lives. You know what I mean? It's when these people
who continuously tries to paint really an ugly picture of my daughter. I think they just have to be reminded
that there is "limitations". I can be nice and I can be quiet, but when I do talk, "I tell the truth." What do you always tell Julia? For me, I tell her:
"Just say when, I'll talk." But she doesn't.
"No no no, mom. It's okay." She feels she can still handle it. (she can still handle it) But I think she also saw that in me. She saw that in me when
I'm being accused of everything, "I just keep quiet."' You know, I let things just be. She saw that in me
that's why she's like that. What's the worst part about
that whole controversy for you? Can I say? I thought somebody was milking it. Like it was just... it's just not the story. It didn't really hurt me; instead it was... the issue of Julia before with her dad. That was more painful for me. It's because this person is not
part of our lives already. It hurt when Julia was younger
and the issue about her dad. So that was more painful for me
because I couldn't protect her... so much without her
going against another parent. What do you admire most about Julia? Julia is kind. Julia, what I admire about
Julia right now is she is... she is looking out for herself, like now she'll do what makes her happy, what brings her peace, She knows how to, okay... "She'll look out for herself." Her happiness, her peace, whatever makes her happy,
whatever brings her peace. What did you learn about your
past relationships? What's the greatest thing
that you learned about love? - My love relationships?
- Yeah. Oh wow! That you taught your kids... - What I taught?
- about love. First of all, not to speak ill of your ex. This is really a lesson I've taught my kids. And Julia has experienced
bad relationships, but you won't hear her speak ill of them. (I teach that) I teach independence to my daughters. You never to run after a man
when they're gone. That's true. I mean... for example... upon boyfriend and girlfriend... like this is the time that you choose
what's best for you. This is really the time for it. So I teach them that, all the time. (you can ask them this) When there's warning signs,
"Pay attention." Don't love them too much
while ignoring their issues. Don't do that. So you have to be treated well, with respect. I always say that when the respect is gone, that's it. And I tell my kids, you know... "I made so many mistakes
in my life for a reason." "So that you guys don't have to go through it." You know, I'm very open about my mistakes. It's for you to learn. If I keep it from you... it defeats the purpose of... of all my experiences. Do you have a big say, Ms. Marj, - with the love life of your kids?
- No. I don't interfere with their love life. For example, one of my kids
have a relationship that they fight because of little things. I'll say: "Oh, you know what?..." "...if you're fighting because of this," "...what if when the real problem comes?" (you're drained) If you're just talking to another man, your boyfriend gets angry; what if there's a real crisis in your life? Your energy is gone. - Right?
- So you talk to them like that, but there was never a time,
"If you choose that guy..." - Ah, never.
- Ohh... Never. Never. And then I pray. I pray when I really see,
"This is not good for my daughter." - I pray.
[laughs] - After the breakup, "Answered prayer!"
[laughs] - Oh, so you're that kind of mom?
- Yes, I'm like that. I trust in the power of prayer. Because I'm scared the more
I will tell them to "not do this", it will be a scandal. But they'll tell you also:
"Mom, you know you were right." You know, Ms. Marj,
now that I'm a mother, I really have to say this: all that was said by mommy before, - "She was right."
- She's right. - 100 percent.
- 100 percent. And it was hard for me
to admit it in my twenties, - but now that I am a mother, I'm sure Dani...
- Yes. - Dani also feels that.
- She realizes. In my twenties, I didn't understand it then. - We see you as the villain.
- Yeah. Like, "Ah, she's hindering my happiness." - She doesn't want me to grow and experience the world.
- Yeah, yeah. I told Julia that before: There will be so many people
who will pretend to care for you or have concern for you, but if there's that one person
who'll never put you to harm. who will give you the best advice,
who will make sure... "It's the mom." - The one who gave birth to you.
- And she will not... she will not... she will not betray you,
that's how I see it. So if there's so many people like that, "Just listen to me." - She listens?
- Oh, she listens to me. - She just released a vlog...
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's with her father. What would you want the people to take away from that conversation that Julia had - with her father?
- With her dad. First of all, I'm happy that... that they're in that
kind of relationship again. People misjudge me thinking that, I was encouraging... my kids not to have a good
relationship with their father. As a matter of fact, even Dennis
thought for a long time... that I was the one preventing him
from seeing my kids. No. It's not, Toni. I want my kids to have peace... with both parents, because I don't want them to harbor hatred or unforgiveness in their hearts
because that's heavy especially if it's with your parents,
that's heavy. (heavy burden) He and I have been separated
for more than 14 years. I never thought the day would come
that he would say... he has his own fault with our breakup; with the breakdown of our marriage. That he said that... You know, it was his temper, it was his anger. Because for a long time I was wondering: I was with him for such a long time,
I know I was a good wife, I know I was there in more downs than ups, I know that I forgave him over
and over and over again. So I was wondering: Why he didn't remember me as a good wife? Or why wasn't he spending
that much time with his kids? But that's all over now. I would like for him to
continue his new journey as a less angry person... for him to enjoy the remaining
years of his life... - that he's part of all of his children's life.
- Free from anger. (free from anger) You know, Toni, I have selective memory. You know who has that?
Julia amongst all my kids. When an event is too painful... - You shut down.
- I shut down. And it's crazy because people like,
"You really forgot?" So I really wish... I wish that, for Dennis, I really wish
the remaining years of his life would be... enjoying with his children. That's my advise, Toni,
I really tell my kids... - do not keep hatred.
- Hate. Hatred in your heart, because it's heavy. And you know, some people will think: "Who am I to say that I'm not in good
terms with my two other sisters?" I don't. It's not out of hate. It's out of peace, really. Like there's just more peace when... - There's space?
- In that space. Like there's just too much pain and it's just gonna be more
peaceful if we're not talking, but it doesn't mean that
I carry it every day, I wake up full of anger.
No, that not it. If there is no more hate,
there's no more grudge, but you're just giving that space, where are you right now emotionally? Definitely not from a place of hate. Well, I don't look back at it like
its hurting my chest or... or I won't wish ill of them. Like when you're angry and
hateful to a person, you wish them ill; I don't do that. It's not coming from
a place of unforgiveness. I just want peace. When you talk about peace, I see it this way where you are also at peace - with people not knowing your side of the story.
- Yeah. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone, - you don't have to defend yourself anymore,
- Yeah. because you are just sitting on that
peace when you know your truth. Yeah. I can shut down from that, from the judgement of other people, there's so much that they don't really
know that goes on behind that story, and I refuse to share. Because at the end of the day, even if you're famous, when you get home, you are normal like anybody else. We have the same problems,
we have the same needs. The same. You know what I mean? So I want to protect that side of us, because that side of the fame or... that's not forever. You know, so I will protect this area. I know how to not listen
to the bad things they say. I'll share something to you, Ms. Marj. This is nice, I just read it earlier. It's so beautiful. Don't give them a taste of their own medicine. Yeah. Wow! So when you were saying this to me, and we were talking about
the judgment of the outside world, this is what I learned in this
whole conversation with you, I guess because I never asked them
the question "described me". So I'm thinking now,
from all that you said... that how my kids describe me... [piano sounds] Just like what Ms. Marjorie said: "For as long as you know the people
that truly matter in your life..." "...the rest is all just noise." Because to her kids, "She's beautiful, selfless, resilient,
strong, and courageous." Julia said it best, "Their mom is unbreakable."
