Be Angry, but Don't Blow It — Lisa Bevere [FULL SERMON]

i'm going to show you my family again that was just like a quick blur of family oops forgot there was a table there okay so these are my grandchildren there is lizzy august sophia my beautiful texas daughter-in-law my first born son we're going to be talking about him tonight my firstborn grandson asher who turns 10 next month my old man husband who is very cute who i've been married to for 37 years please do not tell him i said that he gets really mad when i say he's old my youngest son who is married to a girl named christian in case he forgets who he is me my mother-in-law my only other single son i need help i need him to be married by the next time i come here and or or maybe next year would be even better okay then i've got my second son and his beautiful wife jessica do you see everybody looks normal do you see they all look happy okay i just want you to look at this because this is the redemption of god in this photo and i want to do something i'm going to be talking about being angry and not sinning because a lot of us know how to be angry and sin but i'm going to talk about how to be angry and sin not and i'm going to talk about it from my own life i grew up sicilian i don't know if you know what a saying is anybody here know what a sicilian is wave at me okay sicilians are greeks arabs and italians mixed we are the ones that gave the world the mafia you're welcome it was our contribution everybody has a contribution the mafia is ours i hope you enjoy the movies anyway i am sicilian that my mother is french and apache indian i'm just kind of putting together a little bit of a package there my dad 100 sicilian my mom french apache indian and thank god a teeny bit of british because that just kind of helps with some stuff and i grew up in a very angry household i got saved in 1981 the majority of you are not even born then but i was born again in 1981. married john bevere in 1982 became a pastor's wife in 1988 and in 1988 because i was sitting on the front row like you guys i prayed a stupid prayer i said god i'm just about perfect god i'm a pastor's wife i'm sitting on the front row singing hallelujah falling down once a month god i thank you are so pleased with me so i'm going to just pray a prayer that sounds good father i want you to come into my life and excavate it just go in i i had been singing over and over an old school song take me in to the holy of holies take me in by the blood of the lamb take me into the holy of holies take your coal cleanse my lips here i am thought that i would go to bed that night and an angel would tap my shoulder here's your call but there was a very different process that began in my life see before that prayer just once a quarter i would maybe freak out on my husband i would maybe call him names i would maybe say things i shouldn't say but it was just like maybe four times a year but after i prayed that prayer it was now once a month that's when i learned about premenstrual tension i was like until the church of jesus christ puts all the women into the spa for that week of course they are going to be living on the edge but now if john would say honey are you getting ready that's not it but it always was it then it went from once a month to like every single week that's when i figured out you'll understand this chris we're youth pastors probably all of the witches in orlando have targeted me and they are praying against me i am under spiritual attack that is why i'm angry not to mention all of the other things i've already said sicilian mafia vendettas apache people stole my land all this stuff is going on i began to be afraid to open my mouth and i have one of those husbands that you know like does not let something like stop so like if we were having a fight and it was nighttime and we went to bed now we were word of faith people so i would say to my husband i forgive you by faith i don't even know i don't even know what that meant but if his leg happened to come over into my space after i'd forgiven him by faith or kick him back i'm like roll over off the edge of the bed and then john would say no he'd flip on the lights rip off the covers and say we are not doing this we cannot let the sun go down on our wrath but see i think he was wrong because we had started fighting when it was dark out so i felt like we had until the next day sundown we were in a disagreement in the kitchen i felt like my idol word account was getting high i was like i just need to not talk and john was pushing me pushing me pushing me and before i knew what happened i turned and i threw a plate at him it was thrown like a frisbee my husband ducked missing decapitation and it hit the window went right out the window that was not open i shattered our apartment window now when you do something like that everybody comes to attention and john was like i can't believe you just did that i said i can't even throw a frisbee i can't believe i did that john was like no seriously lisa you just broke the window in our apartment complex it was a huge big picture window y'all remember i was only 28 only 28 59 now it's a long time ago anyway threw it and he said you know what when they come to fix this window i am not gonna lie for you and i said you know what you're a man of god and i don't want you to lie but i will not be here when they fix the window so i get in my car and i am praying in the spirit i am like god you are the god of the impossible it would it would be so easy for you just to reassemble that window it would be a miracle i could just give you gloria for all of my life just it's just like a flinch of your eyelash the entire all the pieces of glass would come back together i prayed and i prayed when i saw the maintenance truck i said not going home yet just kept circling circling circling and when i came in my husband looked at me and he said you must have really been praying i said i was i prayed for everything i could possibly think of and he said well the maintenance man came in while i was on the toilet so your two-year-old son let him in and when he walked in he saw the broken window and he said whoa whoa what happened here and he moved the sofa away from the window looked down and there was a metal tonka truck he picked up the truck looked at my husband and said say no more this is why we have insurance we understand that two-year-olds do things like this these kind of things happen [Applause] and john said i just decided to follow his instructions and say no more so i went from broken i'm so sorry god imagining people seeing me in church youth pastor's wife breaks picture window at post lake apartments i always knew she had a problem i went from shaming myself to justifying myself you were gonna uncover me and see what god did i remember no longer feeling quite so bad about it yeah i probably shouldn't have thrown the plate but you shouldn't have pushed me that's the way i began to reason i know nobody in south africa would ever think like that then i had my second child now i want to explain something one child is an accessory you take them out you dress them up they behave well it's all a trick to get you to have more children when i had my second child i remember thinking what have i done i will never brush my teeth before noon again every single day was just chaos and mayhem and we only had one car john would take the car to work and then come home look at me i'd be standing there with one baby in my arms another one on my leg a spank spoon in my hand my nursing flaps down and he would say what have you done all day and i'd say i don't know i don't know what i have done john but i have been busy and he would i say people are calling me saying they want to commit suicide and i am offering to join them now i i i i'm not saying it's a good technique but it did it did help people like oh no we need to rescue you now i was like wait what maybe so every single day i was failing failing failing because my oldest son my perfectly well-behaved firstborn now refuse to take a nap because he is a justice child so if i kissed the baby i had to kiss him what was i doing with the baby if he was sleeping i might be doing something with the baby that might not be equal for him and so i would put him down and he would get up a lot of times he would hear the phone ring yeah i was a mother in the day without portable phones and he knew she's trapped he would come out of his bedroom i would be in the kitchen he would be playing in the loft i'd be stomping my foot and waving the spanx put at him like get back in your room all of these motions while i'm praying for someone over the phone and my son would just be like i see your hand i see your hand but i'm not going anywhere i'm not i'm not doing it i tried putting the spaying spoon on the threshold of his doorway he just stepped right over and he'd like i need to do this and one day my son came down the stairs and i came running up to meet him i no longer saw him as a child i saw him as an enemy i thought this is the one stopping me from getting anything accomplished i was a sleep deprived crazy woman i'm stomping up the stairs with addison i walk into his bedroom i'm looking around i'm thinking what can i do and i hear a voice say lift him up and slam him into the wall and put him on his bed and i thought to myself yeah that should work i lifted him up and i was just getting ready to shove him in the wall when i saw something i had never seen before see my son was not afraid of what i was going to do he had no idea what i was going to do he was afraid of me and when i saw the fear in my son's eyes i remembered my own growing up in a physically and emotionally abusive household and every time i was slapped and every time i was kicked and every time i had been shoved into a wall i made myself a promise and it went like this i will never treat my children this way but there i was a born-again pastor's wife getting ready to slam my son against the wall and it broke me i put him down on his bed i said addison i'm so sorry i'm so sorry mommy scared you i went running downstairs and i hit the carpet and i wept until my entire being was empty i said god it's not the witches in orlando god it's not the apache god it could be the sicilian but you're bigger than that god it's not my mother god it's not my father it's not john it's me i have a real problem with anger and i don't know how to be free wept and wept and then i heard the spirit of god whisper to me and he said because you're no longer justifying this i'll take it out of your life you see what we justify we buy we say i have earned the right to be this way because of what was done to me how many times do we hear this and yes you can say that but what was done for you is greater than what was done to you and so i had a memory see my mother is the one who took out most of her anger on me she was married to an absent alcoholic adulterous husband and i acted more like my dad than i acted like my mom so i grew up hearing you're just like your father you're just like your father you're just like your father so when my dad didn't come home by a certain time she knew he was in the bars and i did everything i could to stay away from her because it meant that her anger would be taken out on me but she would always find me so there was one incident that i had hid away in my heart my mom became a christian when i was in my teens and i became a christian at 21 and my mom came to me and she said will you forgive me i didn't raise you the way i wish i would have i didn't raise you the way i would have raised you if i had been a christian and i said yeah yeah i forgive you i forgive you but i hid one instant in my heart one i don't know i thought maybe it would keep me safe it was the only one that when i thought about i actually felt pain and i heard the holy spirit say call your mother and bring up that particular instance and i was like no no i'm not gonna i'm not gonna bring that up god i have a beautiful amazing husband i i totally have compassion for her now i i should i should never have held that back and he said nope you need to call your mother so i called my mom and i'm weeping on the phone and i said mom i almost slammed addison into the wall and she's and then i said i need to ask you to forgive me for the one thing i never forgave you for and then she started crying and she said lisa that's the one thing i've never been able to forgive myself for well there's a reason for that remember the parable of the wicked servant forgiven the unpayable debt goes out grabs the fellow servant pay me what you owe me i was like i understand that he almost just got in trouble but no that's not what god said the other servants reported it back to the king and what did the king do he takes the wicked servant and said i forgave you the unpayable debt and what does he do throws him into prison but the other one now was in torment and so i was tormented by the very thing i refuse to forgive in my mother so when i forgave my mother we together prayed broke the curse of abuse off of our family and i just remember it was just this beautiful healing the worst day of my life became this beautiful moment in my life and then john came home and i thought do i tell him because i did call one of my girlfriends and i said you can't believe i almost slammed addison into the wall today and she said but you didn't she said i almost slammed my kids into the wall every day see i didn't need somebody that was going to give me sympathy i needed accountability what does the book of james say book james says confess your sins one to another that you might be what healed see i was forgiven when i confessed it to god but i was healed when i confessed it to my mother and then i was made accountable when i told my husband what almost happened and john had no problems being my accountability partner because he had been on the other side of that anger i want to read to you from the book of galatians galatians 5 16 and the heading in the esv says keep in step with the spirit but i say to you but i say walk by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh for the desires of the flesh are against the spirit and the desires of the spirit are against the flesh for these are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things you want to do what did i want to do i wanted to be a better mother what did i want to do i wanted to be a loving wife but because i was living under the law of this was done to me therefore i can do this i was not living in the spirit justifying and blaming puts all of us back under the law he goes on to say but if you are led by the spirit you are not under the law now the works of the flesh are evident sexual immorality impurity sexuality sensuality idolatry sorcery enmity strife jealousy fits of rage there i was busted well this one's as fits of anger but niv says fits and raise rivalries dissensions divisions envy drunkenness orgies and things like these and then he goes on to say i warn you as i warned you before that those who do such things the niv says practice this another version says live like this will not inherit the kingdom of god see that was incredibly sobering for me but i want to unpack it because i know that we have all done things but it is different to do something and another thing to have a practice of something see a doctor has a what practice every single day that's where he goes that's what he does that's living like this and that's living a life where we say it's okay to be like this because of the other people in my world and i'm watching what is happening with the men and the women in the world i'm watching the women begin to think it's okay to have a fit of rage it's okay to act disrespectful it's okay to have a mean spirit because of something that was done to us but this is what i have learned about the genders that what wounds one wounds the other and we cannot act like the world and point our fingers one to another because we are not going to be like adam and eve and blaming it was never that adam and eve were supposed to blame each other or shut down the voice of the woman it was that adam and eve should unite their voice and speak to the serpent and say god is good and it is written so i didn't want to live my life according to the flesh and then it goes on to say but the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control against such things there is no law and those who belong to christ jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires if we live by the spirit let us also keep in step with the spirit let us not become conceited provoking one another envying one another came home told john because see i knew i was forgiven i knew that i had been healed but i had a habit pattern and patterns of habit are incredibly strong see every time i was angry i was used to stomping around through the house i was used to slamming things one time and again this is before this happened one time john did something i don't even know what he did that i was really mad and i'm stomping around through the house we had just moved into our very first house and i was throwing stuff in the dryer and i thought i'm just gonna slam this dryer door shut and when i slammed it my husband was standing there he picked me up carried me out to the garage and locked me in the garage and he said you are staying out here until you calm down it had the exact opposite effect of calming me down i was furious i thought i cannot allow this man every time he thinks i'm mad put me in the garage so i began to look around the garage for something to break something of john's that would send a clear message don't mess with this woman but i couldn't find anything that i could break because i was too poor to replace it so i remembered that my husband did all the grilling so i picked up a hammer and i thought i'm just going to put a dent in the lid of this grill and every time john goes to grill he'll say whoa that woman's strong and i reach back and i remember hearing the holy spirit say if you hit this grill it's gonna be you doing it it's not the witches it's not a demon it's you i hit the grill and i said i bind condemnation in the name of jesus brought john out to the garage to see my handiwork he was not impressed so i had a habit pattern of pitching a fit so what i started to do is every single day when i woke up i would pray god put a watch over my mouth let me be slow to speak quick to listen slow to wrath see as a sicilian i would tell my husband hey if you want to have passion in the bedroom you have to have things thrown at you in the kitchen it's just the package steal so i had made so many excuses i was quick to speak slow to listen quick to wrath because i was fiery in my blood so i had to stop allowing that to be my normal i'd say god show me what that looks like you know a lot of times when we talk about renewing our mind people think it's just memorizing and memorizing is great but i'm not that smart and so what i do is i read a scripture and then i meditate on it i say if i'm going to be slow to speak what is that going to look like am i going to count to 10 am i going to stop thinking of my response while my husband's talking okay one of the best ways to do that is whenever my husband said something i actually set it back to him that way i was paying attention then i sometimes i would say so is what you're saying and then i would say it and he'd be like no no that's not actually what i was saying that'd be like okay tell me what you're saying that was being quick to listen and slow to wrath what is wrath wrath is when you think you have the right to punish someone anger has three stages anger that's that's normal it's normal to be angry about stuff rage rages like you just put a gun on the table says now we have a threat in the air wrath is shooting somebody again i'm sorry for the mafia uh correlations it's just my world but we need to actually stop things before they get out of hand and one of the other steps is i had to tell my husband i don't like it when you chase me around when i'm upset about something i need to have a little bit of space so that my idle word account doesn't get too high i need to be able to step back that's what anger does so that i can return god when he was mad he would turn his face away then he would turn his face back we got to get this stuff resolved because the wrath of a man or a woman never works the righteous purposes of god another key i had was if you want to be heard because a lot of times people get angry because they feel like they're not being heard have a really smart husband and i'd be talking and i could see he is preparing an argument like a lawyer while i'm just trying to talk but that would make me ramp it i'd start ramping ramping stop it and then he just argument going higher because john would go logical so what i had to learn is if i wanted to be heard i needed to say it the way i like to hear it i don't like to be yelled at i don't like to be threatened i don't like somebody being aggressive and we are in a day in a time where our voices need to be heard so we need to learn how to speak so we can be hurt in a nation such as this poised on a threshold watched by the world in so many ways you're a social experiment a beautiful melting pot so many people are watching so many people are thinking are you going to make it now i know i know in my spirit that john and i feel very attached to south africa it's really interesting to me when i go to my audience number one is america number two is south africa and so i know that our hearts are connected and our messages are connected to this soil i know pastor andre has taken our resources and pastor wilma has taken our resources and they have scattered it as seed into your lives and into the leadership and i am here to say to you don't you allow it to be downgraded to the anger of people don't allow judgment to come out of your mouth make sure you bless rather than curse that you do good rather than despitefully do good to those who have despitefully used and abused you in a crowd like this just as in america there'd be people in here that grew up in similar circumstances to me maybe way worse there would also be mothers and fathers in here that found themselves on the edge and were afraid of what they thought they were potentially capable of there would also be parents here that went over the edge and they did things that they're so ashamed of so afraid that sometimes they'll even justify it i remember my mother used to always say i'm sorry i hit you but you made me so angry see that's an apology and an apology is the defense of a behavior apologetics is the defense of christianity we are not called to apologize we are called to confess and a confession is i'm sorry i was wrong here's what i love there's always new mercy there's always a new beginning there's always a fresh start there's always something that god can take and redeem it do you know my testimony by accident my son happened to see it on tv now i didn't do it two weeks afterwards it was probably five or six years later i had christian television on my son walks into the room and he is watching the tv i'm out of the room i didn't even know i was going to be on tv that day and my son is listening to me tell the testimony of me almost slamming him into the wall not something i wanted him to hear and when i walk into the room panic hit me but my son turned and looked at me and he said i can't even picture you doing that that is the redemptive power of god so i want to do something i want to set something in motion i believe that i need a lot of mercy so i have learned to sow a lot of mercy i have learned to forgive people that have never asked for it i don't believe there's anything more supernatural that forgiving people who do not deserve it it is how we are the most christlike when we say father forgive them they didn't know what they were doing so i want to do something and i don't want to single anybody out but i would just love to pray together all together seeing you all stand to your feet and i want you to say heavenly father forgive me for the times i've been quick to speak slow to listen and quick to wrath i want to have a new beginning i'm going to stop making excuses what you did for me is more powerful than what was done to me now i want you to think about the incident or the person that comes up in your mind and i want you to say father forgive them they didn't know what they were doing i cancelled their debt they owe me nothing i released them from that prison free me from my torment i will bless and not curse i will do good i will not take judgment or wrath into my own hands father i will not call anger demonic or some kind of witchcraft that i can't control that was a lot sorry say i take responsibility i'm going to control myself because i'm going to be led by the spirit i'm going to get up every single day and i'm going to break the habit of anger in jesus name habits can be broken in 21 days that's all it takes but you know how you break a habit because 21 days for me sounded like an eternity you do it one hour at a time half an hour at a time five minutes at a time one minute at a time and some of you you might need to make the phone call like i made to a parent you might need to make a phone call or email to somebody that you've been holding back because you have no idea but they've been imprisoned release them and you'll be shocked at the release you will experience south africa is not a nation of anger south africa is a nation for the glory of god in jesus name amen and amen

Channel: Lisa Bevere

Views: 178,070

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Id: h0zVBLgH6xo

Length: 36min 45sec (2205 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 05 2022