BANNERLORD BANDIT but I'm at WAR with EVERY FACTION

hello everyone and welcome back my name is coyfish and this is the second episode in the bandit series i'm currently chased by literally all of the battalions as i've set up the houndslayer an illegal den of banditry carved out of the broken wood of their sacred forest we are at war with every faction in the game except for the criminals and it's our goal to one day become the bandit king of calradia and take a castle for the bandits looters and sea raiders and if you're wondering why i'm riding a cabin don't ask it's a long story some matters need special attention eu dawson wants you to kill alkay either in battle over execution she's offering forty two thousand dollars well i'm gonna accept now we're beyond petty street crime we're big fish now nope stop oh this isn't great tell you what you surrender ah it usually works random looking very smug in that picture but it's not stupid we're gonna try to get away all right go ahead tell me what i'd rather not be captured i have an idea it just cannot be me and a very speedy horse let's pray that this works [Music] yeah i'm captured mick has captured me who is mick mickey said the name sometimes life is [ __ ] and ball torture without the [ __ ] and balls and that's about how i feel right now let me go you don't know you're messing with that's pretty logical since i like to keep a low profile but come on let me escape don't put me in a battalion dungeon i'd rather off myself considering the average life standard of a battalion a battalion dungeon can't be that much worse let me go what's worse than being captured by an enemy lord being put in the dangers of botania no ah i break free now let me out of here i've literally dropped all my [ __ ] now i'm fast enough we're looking for alchea as well as raiding sienos villages but first i just move out of the battalion highlands please they're too dense full of battalions dangerous business being a criminal now let's look for some luther they're all perfect here they are hello looters have you heard of the hounds join me and let's beat up some villagers come on we need more looters for our grand looter army mick the man who captured me and let me get more looters all right then mick come and fight me you battalion dog you pee belongs talking cosplayer i shall run you down gentlemen we are absolutely screwed take defensive positions and charge the hounds are coming for ya listen man this is this is gruesome battle holy crap stop that stop that i have a horse and it's speedy [ __ ] him up this blade has decapitated many a foe you as when [ __ ] about hell oh well [ __ ] we're captured again no yeah i'll pay the bastard oh i take it you poof we need to build up an army of proper soldiers will not just looters we're hungry hungry looters we'll take any little fiddle of food we can get stop deserting you looters what are you deserting from oh i don't want to root anymore i'm gonna go home and eat let's have at them i'm gonna eat all of these looters snow i'm gonna eat these peasants i will turn your bones into soup and then i will drink it for dinner oh scoundrels i've killed thousands of peasants are you passed down come off it's really embarrassing when that doesn't listen i mean to make it clean but sometimes it is dirty business you know how it is you're farmers all right we're doing the no lethal approach come here let me bonk you good night sir i call this the canadian sleeping pill oh and um food aha meats back on the menu boys now this is a better place forest bandits are plenty good better hoarded troops join up join the hounds we're a great party look at how many forest bandits there are in the forest i guess i guess that's a natural habitat and then from the woods we'll face this bastard we have some luther friends with us all right and more come here random look at your mustache our idea is to try and snipe them down oh these birchlands will be your defeat come on flank him out don't run you looters don't run i'll fight alongside you come here you bastard hold the position run your dogs i'll smack your head you head smack oh off with your arm first man who shoots that man gets a get a gold chain ya bushwacker holy [ __ ] randall moore and his [ __ ] we did it what a glorious victory over the enemy you are my prisoner you bastard come here a lot of loot it's a bit of cheese a great victory we need to show the other bandits that we mean business randall has grown up now a grown man with big aspirations to take over as the bandit king of calradia but to do that we're gonna need more than just 20 troops i have to send a message to all the bandits all the forest bandits all the hillman all the scene raiders every pillager and every looter needs to know that random the leader of the hounds is the man to follow and to do that we must send a message and what better thing to attach that message to then your hand goodbye now let's recruit some more forest bandits come here have you heard of the hounds you must have we just killed one of the sturgeon generals come here holy [ __ ] people hate me but better to go down in history as a bandit as a thief and do not go down in history at all soon we will be more powerful than the lords we fight i will be able to return to my hideout and fend off against the battanians i'd like some more see raiders i don't know i just feel like looters is not gonna cut it we're starving out here come on don't want people abandoning you so it's already happening we're stupendously slow we'll go for a villager oh at least buy the products i don't do like that i fight you oh yeah sure all right we'll take it thank you what looks like meat back on the menu boys oh i'm not slaughtering my beloved camel if anything i want to ride it again see you raiders come here my friends i've been looking for you dropper fighters look at your force don't stray a whole orb is chasing me that's terrifying it's such a long way home just let me leave i'm not even banditry against you i'm just trying to go away let me be a criminal in peace about said the needle tread the needle come on oh god without randall the famous i guess you can't go on cutting off heads with random people and expect them to just let you go keep going randall just let me go up there's my ladder i'm gonna head over there quick the fighting the empire i think we're gonna go for green glass that's a good village it's a bit further off and the battalion seems very busy fighting off the empire as they should how else are we gonna make our money if not by raiding they wanna fight us let them fight us oh look at you who painted those hounds on your shields i love it look at us an ambush fire away at them soldiers get in there no [ __ ] stop being bastard come here no one runs they attempt to run but they never make it that's mom that's two and here's one coming for you good night under their gold take it from them i'm stealing wood as you spray that this raid will go well don't let there be a little goody-two-shoe lord it's gonna come and be like no you can't raid i can raid enough is gonna stop me i am randall write it down if you can i guess that's the biggest downside of raiding villagers none of them can ride so like they can't remember who attacked them the village oh protection ain't free money for me good bit of looting but here comes the oh that's bad can we outline them please if you could find some more bandits to join us i mean anything that's gonna tip the scales a bit that's going to be great looters [Music] we put the blame on the other looters oh being a criminal is not fair dream the smugglers get rid of this extra weight a wolf head ah random the furry and an exotic leopard belt they don't know what to expect of him where did they get that no one knows step bandits join me look at this it's a nice little force let's see about having them cough up some money for us come on then my looter cavalry follow me you mounted mongols i have become the con of the steps [Music] the damage i've done to your city's infrastructure is immense holy [ __ ] look at that man he has the thinnest waste in all of calradia well i feel as our little recruitment drive has gone pretty well but i haven't found any sea raiders let's worry let's see about returning home to botania you eat like mad men that's how you get poor people to join you you offer them food it's like feeding ducks can we get some silver raiding time imperial carbon master you don't look very happy hand over your goods wrong answer buddy wrong answer let's move into position here they come chunk them down let's get this show on the road shut them up cut them down take everything that is a name down and name everything that isn't taken come here come here i'll chop you up i'll slice you down i'll quarter you into tiny pieces and add some onions land of the cannibal every good oh plenty of horses where's the silver where's the silver that's iron there's the silver ore and someone in the raid at do you feel unsafe you sure do friend you sure do that is a lot of money can't really go into battalion because the lords keep messing with us will chase you up into the woods come here dermot now i'm the one that hunts the battalions not the other way around surrender come here my little cavalry boys the step bandits they're not my real bandits you see hey throw a different marriage now watch this is he fleeing are you fleeing german i thought you would have brave but canyon this goddamn weapon is so short goodbye come on my mongol brothers chase them down we won dermot you are my prisoner the battalions are mastery against me is that it oh we are rich i'm becoming the bandit king slowly but surely and now we can properly hunt down lords come here you battalion dog we outnumber you two to one there's nowhere to go you battalion shrine the hounds with the crusade connections pepper them down come on [Music] truly we pepper them with arrows take an axe while you're at it don't be shy you have come here not to fight but to die get them you highborns you'll soon be lowborn born again as a flower or something what that what a cheerful outlook on life oh goodbye sir oh little bit of prisoners little bit of loot but the weasel himself he escaped well patrol back let's get this sold on the market holy crap two thousand men that's too many that's too many even for us it's good hiding in the little hideout he's waiting to strike and then yeah not so tough now are we come on then you batanian i am here to bring you to your knees i seen like the ones on your legs not your siblings not you get what i mean we have way too many archers now be ready for them to call me and i want you to pepper and i mean absolutely pepper them with arrows fire away fire freely look at me i am i am the value after teachers are [ __ ] being at this reaction is dangerous while you were looking at me jesus i'm like a pain cushion get up some lads and ladies oh my horse waterfalls come here act quickly jesus randall the manlet why am i so [ __ ] short come here mad little knot i'll cut you down to my size it's not the size of the man it's the size of his blade and my plane is almost as big as me very good i'm just gonna sneak off to the houndslayer tell the prisoners 10 000 gold now that's the size of a little sub orlando looking very snazzy you know what it's a bit of an investment but i like it i'll buy it from you and that's where i think i will end this episode surrounded by the battalions will randall ever make it out of the hideout will randall become the bandit king of calradia taking a castle for every low-life scum in the world i have been crayfish and until next time stay bandits my dudes [Music] you

Channel: Koifish

Views: 136,698

Keywords: bannerlord raider, bannerlord chad raider, bannerlord raider build, bannerlord raider guide, bannerlord bandit, bannerlord bandit army, mount and blade bannerlord, bannerlord bandit lord, bannerlord bandit king, bannerlord bandit guide, bannerlord tips and tricks, bannerlord, bannerlord mods, bannerlord bandit playthrough, bannerlord freelancer, koi fish bannerlord, bannerlord becoming a soldier, bannerlord freelancer mod, bannerlord criminal, bannerlord sea raider

Id: QHMMg04BAuc

Length: 14min 22sec (862 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 14 2022