Once a girl knows she has you, it's over and
you'll never have her. Hey, guys. Bobby Rio here. I'm with Rob Judge and in this short video,
we're going to go through three nice guy mistakes that will land you in the friend zone, scare
away a girl that might have initially liked you. If you've ever been in a position where you
thought a girl was into you and then, all of a sudden, she's not responding to your
texts, maybe at first she's just not responding as fast as she normally does, but you just
know something's different and sure enough, she slipped away, chances are it's because
you made one of these three mistakes. What's dangerous about them is that they're
the advice that you're going to hear in like media or in movies. Yeah. It's kind of like the advice that your grandma
would give you. It's the advice that you hear from your female
friends. That's what's so confusing and that's why
a video like this is really going to challenge some views you might have. What we're going to say comes straight from
experience. Yeah, I remember what fucked me up more than
anything ... And I don't know if you ever saw the movie Say Anything. Yes, with John Cusack. Yep. There's a scene in that movie where he was
chasing this girl and he stands outside her window with like a boombox and that was like
what won her over, right? For a long time, as like an impressionable
little kid, I had this romantic notion that if a girl just knows how I feel, if I just
do like a bold enough gesture, she's going to become attracted to me. Yeah, it's like the Wile E Coyote plotting
the grand romantic gesture that never works. Yeah, it doesn't and we're going to talk about
why it doesn't work. The first of the big mistakes is sending a
girl flowers at work or even just buying her any sort of gift. I see this over and over. Both Rob and I do a lot of coaching guys and
guy will always talk to me and say, "Yeah, I sent her flowers at work and she got kind
of weird after it," or I've had guys, "I helped her pay her rent. I paid for her mortgage. I bought her this pocketbook she wanted." It almost will always give her this feeling
that's like something's off. She doesn't know quite what, but her attraction
to you in that moment dissipates a lot. It's like I understand why guys make this
mistake because logically you're like, "All right. I like this girl. I want to show her that I like her. Hey, I like getting gifts so if I give her
a gift, she'll probably like it. She'll probably feel good. It will be something that she wants. I'm helping her out. Then she's going to associate those good feelings
with me." Unfortunately with dating, it doesn't work
like that. Yeah, we'll talk about it in a minute but
one of the reasons it doesn't work is because you always want to make a woman like you because
of the attraction she feels towards you, the emotions she's feeling around you. A lot of the emotions that create attraction,
that make somebody fall in love with you, is completely different than what you think,
emotions like uncertainty. Think about when you're falling for a girl
and you're not sure how she feels about you or she's not responding to your texts. That's when your wheels start spinning. That's when you're like, "Oh my god. What's going on? I really want to see this girl." The minute she all of a sudden goes, "I'm
in love with you," if it happens too soon or without you having to work for it, there's
a little bit of you that goes, "Mmm, this came a little too easy. What's wrong with her?" It's almost like you don't appreciate it. You want to work a little bit. You want that experience of not knowing, of
being a little unsure because that's where so much of the fun of dating sort of lies
is in that uncertainty, but so many guys are afraid to give that woman any sort of uncertainty
or give her any of that experience because they think, "If she doesn't know exactly how
I feel, she might fall for another guy or I might lose her," which, hilariously, it's
the counterintuitive, it's the exact opposite. The final thing if I'm buying a girl flowers,
if I'm sending a girl flowers, not only does it not work because you're not going to get
the reaction you want, but it's also cliché. It's also like unimaginative. And creepy. And creepy. You've said it. Girls like it but not for the reason you think. They like it because it's kind of like they
laugh about it. I learned this the hard way. I'm not preaching to you without having gone
through this mistake. I remember my brother one time going, "Just
get her a big bouquet." I walked in a flower shop and I bought them
and it did exactly what we said it would do. It didn't work. One disclaimer I will say though is that if
you have a girlfriend, a girl that you're in a relationship with and you're sending
that girl flowers, that girl's definitely like that, definitely enjoy it, but not a
girl that you're not in a relationship with. If she's not your girlfriend, do not send
her flowers. First, if you haven't had sex, all these rules
apply, especially before having sex with her. If you make any mistakes, chances are you
won't have sex with her. The second mistake is confessing your feelings
too soon. Again, both of us have been guilty with this. It's human nature. Our emotions take over. We just feel this. I remember I went out on this date with this
girl, this adorable girl that I met online. We were having the best date in the world. It was like we went out, we're doing shots,
we're dancing, we're hanging out, and by the end of the date, I'm just like a giddy little
boy. "You're so cute. I like you so much. I haven't met any cool girls like you in a
long time." I'm just like fucking diarrhea of the mouth,
just shooting myself in the foot. I didn't know it at the time. At the time I'm thinking by telling her this
... First off, I'm assuming she feels the same because I'm like if I'm feeling it, she's
feeling this. The minute you start saying that to a girl,
there's a saying that Rob and I have. Once a girl knows she has you, it's over and
you'll never have her. Write that down. Once a girl knows she has you, it's over and
you'll never have her because you're taking away the one thing girls like, the chase and
the challenge. Absolutely. I can't even tell you how many times before
I knew all this stuff, before I studied this stuff, when I was in college and I had no
idea what I was doing, how many times I was in the friend zone and I would confess my
feelings to a girl and tell her how I much I liked her and she would give you that little
pity pat like, "That's really nice," and then I'd watch her go chase some asshole, some
guy that was keeping her guessing, leaving her in that place of uncertainty. Sometimes he would go hot and cold, but he
would never come out and say, "Hey, I really like you. Hey, I want you to be my girlfriend." Maybe we have that talk down the line after
the foundation of attraction is there, but saying that too early like on a first date
or something like that or a second date or a girl that you don't feel like you've been
seeing for a long time and having the talk. Usually she'll be the one to bring it up,
actually. Yeah, that's another rule. Write this down. Always make her bring it up. If you're dating a girl, don't be the one
to go, "So what is this? Are you seeing anybody else?" Let her have that conversation. Hold that. Keep that in your back pocket as long as possible. Some guy said, "I can't let a girl know that
I like her?" I go you can let a girl know that you want
to bang her. Don't hide the fact that you're attracted
to her, that you're sexually attracted to her, but don't let her know immediately that
you want to be her boyfriend. You wanting to be her boyfriend is what she
wants to have to work for. She wants to go to her friends and go, "What
do I have to do? He didn't text." She wants that drama and that uncertainty
and if you come right out and start talking relationships or what we're going to do six
months from now, you're taking that gift of missing you away from her. Yeah, I was just thinking that. If you can get her to watch a video like this
to decipher some of your behavior, you're doing the right thing. That's what you want. The whole reason you're watching is probably
because you have one girl in mind, that one girl that you really want, the girl that you
have a crush on, and you're probably thinking about her as we're talking. You want to be the guy that inspires those
same feelings in her because it's that experience that women want and, as guys, I don't think
we even fully appreciate. You know, look at romantic comedies and what
women are sort of interested in. These screenwriters understand this. When you watch a romantic comedy, and I don't
know how many you have, but since Bobby and I, sort of part of our job is to really understand
women, I've seen so many of these movies and they're ridiculous. They're absolutely ridiculous. It's the experience. It's the sort of uncertainty if he likes me,
he doesn't like me. Yeah, you're going through the motions as
you're watching it. You're almost like on the edge of your seat
going, "Are they going to get together at the end?" A lot of people misconstrue. A lot of people go, "Women like assholes. Women like jerks." If you find yourself saying that, you're missing
what they really find attractive about jerks. A woman isn't attracted to a guy who puts
her down or talks like an asshole. That's not what makes them a jerk. When she's complaining about him, a lot of
guys in a friend zone go, "I don't know why she's still with him. She's always complaining about her boyfriend." You have to understand women like the drama. They're complaining about him because they
can't quite have him. He's too hard to catch. They're always chasing him. They may be complaining about him and the
big mistake that I used to make was I would try to present myself as being the opposite
of him. She's into this guy who's like never available,
which is our third mistake, being too available. The jerk, he's hanging out with this friends
instead of meeting up with her. He cancels plans at the last minute. We think, "Well, that's going to piss her
off. That's going to make her go, 'I want a guy.'" We go, "I'm not like that." Then you start dating a girl and you've heard
so many girls going, "He's such an asshole. He'd rather hang out with his friends." Then you go, "Oh, I can't want to hang out
with my friends. I have to be there for her because that's
what she wants," but that's not what she wants. Yeah, you know, you're going to be the guy
who is picking her up at two in the morning and the dependable guy who's driving her home
and you're always there. She's got you figured out. The whole ride back to her house, she's going
to be complaining about the guy that she really likes. In fact, really quick, I remember a guy when
I first started, my mentor, he said to me, "If you really want to understand a woman
and understand what attracts her, ask her what she hated about her last boyfriend or
listen to her when she talks about her ex-boyfriends." It's so true. I've had girlfriends that will complain about
their exes and they're like they did this and they did that, blah, blah, blah, but everything
she's saying is exactly what I did to attract her. Some of the time. Some did some legitimately bad stuff. A lot of the time what they're saying is their
attraction blueprint. Yeah, one of the things when I worked with
a guy and normally a guy who's calling me up, to work with me individually is quite
expensive, so if guy is on, he's pretty desperate at this point to solve this problem. I walk him through the things. One of the things I say or one of the things
that they actually might have noticed is these are all the things she's doing to me. The thing is that we, as human beings, we're
naturally programmed to chase things that are confusing, that leave us uncertain. We want to know the answer. We hate incomplete things. You want to make that your priority early
on in a relationship, is to leave her wondering. I know that like we're throwing a lot of things
at you and it's very easy to sit and nod your head while you're watching a video and go,
"That's make sense." Then when you're actually with a girl and
you're hanging out with her, it's like your emotions take over. It's a whole different story. Yeah. Rob and I, we refer to your emotions as like
a dickless virgin whispering advice. "Text her again. Maybe her phone is broken." Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her phone's not broken, I promise you. She got your text. What we did is we created something and it's
a little sneaky, a little nefarious. We call it the scrambler. What it is essentially a roadmap that guides
you along. What it does is by the end of you doing this,
it's a little mind game, it's not a politically correct thing for us to call it, a little
bit of a mind game. By the end, she's going to be on the computer
Googling, "What did it mean when he ..." She's going to be watching videos like this trying
to decipher your behavior. Any other guy in her head, there's not going
to be room for him because she's going to be focusing all her attention and all her
desire on you. We put together another video below. It's a little longer than this one because
we really want to dig in and walk you through exactly the step-by-step process to get her
infatuated with you, to get her falling in love with you. Yeah, and to get that dickless virgin out
of your head. Yeah, to make sure, more than anything, to
make sure you don't ruin your own chances by making these simple ... These three mistakes,
they're very simple in theory, but if you don't have a roadmap, you often forget because
your emotions take over and all of a sudden you're going, "I want to be her boyfriend. Why did I do that? Why did I pay off her mortgage?" That has actually happened. You're laughing, sadly. Check out the video below and we'll walk you
through what we call ‘
