How To Stop Being The Nice Guy! 5 Tips To Use NOW!

hi everyone I'm uploading a flunkey founder of Apollonia 40 calm you're dating and relationship coach and welcome to today's video in this video I'm going to talk about how to stop being the nice guy I've gotten so many requests for this video and you the ones that have wrote me personally to ask me to do a video like this this is for you but before we get started don't forget to subscribe to this amazing YouTube channel full of dating and relationship advice for you men to go conflict in the direction to attract that woman that you desire and if you subscribe don't forget to hit that Bell so you're notified every time that I post a new video now what's the difference between a nice guy and a nice guy you're probably like what that means the same thing no there's two different types of nice guys the ones that fall into friend zones and then the ones that actually get into committed relationships now this video is not being made in regards to a nice guy means that you have to be an asshole in order to get the woman no that's not true if you want to attract that high quality relationship and that high quality woman into your life then these are the key components of attracting a woman that you really want to cultivate a healthy relationship with in to your life because a woman that is attracted to her an asshole isn't probably not the woman that you want to spend the rest of your life with because typically they might have low self-esteem they have low value or they're not having a sense of self-worth so for you men that are nice out there because I know there's plenty of you I've seen it firsthand I know it can be kind of confusing so I'm gonna give you five key principles on how to become the nice guy in order to become that relationship type not the friendzone type and what I mean by this is the five traits that I give you are typically the exact opposite of right now of what you are truly doing that you are the nice guy that continues to get in the friendzone so meaning the five principles the five tips the five traits whatever you want to call them that I'm giving you in this video today are the tips to get out of the nice guy friendzone into the nice guy relationship mode but the opposite of what I saying which I'll clarify as I go on is exactly where you are right now the nice guy that continues to be in the friend zone so let's get started tip number one say what you want this is so important men because at the end of the day if you want to take the gift overall out on a date you've heard me say it before call it a date if you want to take her out to dinner tell her that you want to take it out take her out to dinner don't just text her and say hey do you want to grab a bite to eat no because you're not claiming anything you're not claiming your approach you're not making your presence known in this dating or in this relationship that you want to cultivate with the woman so what you have to do is say what you want and say what you want early on now I'm not saying to completely be overwhelming and say I want a relationship with you and be too needy because that's completely opposite that's needy but standing your ground and be grounded as a man and completely verbalize exactly what it is that you want if the girl is asking you what are you looking for well I'm not looking for casual friends of benefits I'm not looking to be someone friend I'm looking to cultivate a relationship with a woman that I am interested in so by the difference between you saying I don't know let's just see let's just go with the flow no don't say that that is not saying what you want I don't know because you're timid or you're shy to really acknowledge the point of what you want or you might be a little bit timid because of the fact that maybe she isn't wanting the same thing well guess what if she doesn't want the same thing that you're gonna find out your answers earlier on then later on the world and self and save yourself from heartbreak so call it if you want something and if you're looking to have a good relationship with a woman then tell that woman it doesn't have to be her but be confident and stay grounded and say exactly what you want and what you mean don't just be a man that's always fishing her compliments ain't always on her time and don't be a man that's always giving her a hundred percent of what she wants to hear men this is not what a nice guy considering into relationship is until to a nice guy is respectful don't get me wrong but at the same time he is open and he doesn't always fish out a hundred percent of compliments just in hopes that this woman will fall for him he knows that if he gives her the right amount of compliments and stands back and waits for her to open up that she's gonna come back basically back and want more like I always say it's like a tennis match keep on going back and forth back and forth back and forth so don't be afraid to be brutally honest if you don't like something tell a girl that you don't like it and also if she tells you you like do you like my outfit I mean you can definitely say no I seem better on you you know even though it sounds crazy and he sounds crazy to hear that at the end of the day you're being brutally honest and you're sticking out from a lot of other men that would just say yes I do you like it just to please her you're not in this relationship to please her because you want to be pleased to tip number two I have goals and put yourself first just like I said get more comfortable with saying no than saying yes to everybody especially if you're a people pleaser if you have this people pleaser mentality where you want to say yes because that's what's make people happy and that's what Pete make people like you actually that has the opposite effect so don't forget to always say no if it's not something that you really want to do let's just say that she's like I want you to come with me to the mall with my girlfriends and go shopping whatever that's not something you want to do so just tell her that you don't want to do it and then he to let you know when she's back and maybe you can get to get and you would like to get together later with her or we can plan something else later on during the week say no and don't always give in especially to something like that because that strictly can be leading into a friendzone because you're too available you're always there which is good at aleut too in the next following tips but have goals and put them first so for example if you're part of a basketball team or a racquetball team or ski team whatever it is make sure that you continue to focus on those goals a lot of men drop all of their things of what they're doing in order to provide time and space for that woman but what you men have to understand that are watching is the more that you provide time and space for a woman and you're going out of your way on obvious reasons meaning not spending time with your friends not spending time with your family or not committing to your goals anymore this is the time where she may start losing respect for you so that's why it's so important to stay strong stays secure stay grounded and what you want and what are your goals hey if you're part of a racquetball team and you have a tournament or something tell her to come along you know make adjustments but simple adjustments where you can put her into your lifestyle and she can see your lifestyle - but you're not always taking time away from your life to incorporate time into hers or get it meet in the middle now not saying does not cancel plans here and there but I'm not saying to do this all the time and being too available every waking minute that she asked tip number three up always seeking approval typically and most of us humans always look for validation in life no matter what walk of life that we've been in let's be honest validation feels pretty damn good especially when someone likes you it's like a pat on the back like I made it I'm cool I'm hot I'm pretty nice I'm pretty XE sexy I'm pretty awesome whatever I can go on but when we get into the mentality of seeking approval and getting validation from another it can become addictive and then once you become addictive and if the pattern continues to cycle and what happens is you subconsciously ignore the fact that you're always trying to seek approval but the other person can see this meaning you hold back your opinion because you're scared of what others are gonna think you're scared that maybe other people won't like you or the last one is maybe she won't like you for having your own opinion well at the end of the day a woman's gonna like you for we're having your own opinion because it shows a sense of confidence it shows a sense of security and it shows that you are a stable man and you're stable within yourself you're secure within yourself no woman wants to have a man around that is not secure with himself at the end of the day tip number four they your fears and change your mindset I talk about mindset so much and when it comes to facing your fears if you are the type of man that is watching this video right now and you don't ever really get out and face your fears and do something that scares you like maybe let's just say for example public speaking scares you because that's a big one involve yourself and like a program like Toastmasters challenge yourself to face your fears what if you are scared of skiing hire someone to give you a ski lesson now the reason why I say this is because when you start to challenge yourself and actually face your fears obviously this is a growth and it can leaves into personal development but also as a man when you face your fears you become more confident within so you stop really slowly looking for validation for others because as confidence comes from within you start you stop seeking outside validation because something else is fulfilling within so taking a step and actually taking the time to face your fears not only incorporates great behaviors for you but also drives a lot of mystery for a woman and she sees something in you that you're basically fearless so at the end of the day you are masculine you were in your masculine energy and a woman is looking at you like wow he's he's stepping up to the plate he's doing what scares him like he has no fear and this is such a big turn-on for us women tip number five when you're in conversation with a woman think of it like this slow down there is no need if for you to continue to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk because you're probably nervous or you might be scared that she won't like you or whatever the case may be but at the end of the day take your time slow your roll go at your own pace and don't overly compensate for what you truly and who you truly are and what you're bringing to the table and what you offer so stop having those limiting self beliefs come into your head during the date or when you like a girl and just slow down stop trying to overly complicate things by showing her too much love showing her too much affection in the beginning and let things slowly progress and actually leaves the mystery behind what you're offering because I can guarantee you she can't wait to find out if you liked today's video please give it a thumbs up and because you watch to the end of this video I have an e-book that I made that's called seven common mistakes that men make when attacking a woman I'll put the link in the description box below and if you haven't subscribed please subscribe and as always I will see you again in the next video and remember you are always loved bye for now [Music]

Channel: Apollonia Ponti

Views: 936,467

Rating: 4.8782568 out of 5

Keywords: how to stop being the nice guy, no more mr nice guy, how to not be a nice guy, nice guy, nice guys finish last, stop being a nice guy, stop being the nice guy, nice guys, apollonia ponti, dating advice, dating, why do nice guys finish last, how to beast, how to stop being such a nice guy, being a nice guy, how to stop being mr nice guy

Id: lsiXxYT0F6E

Length: 12min 0sec (720 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 31 2018