Aviation Humor

nobody mine was taking off out of London Heathrow Airport stalking and Gatwick approach he's an I can't tell you the name of the airliner I guess I can give you their initials right I mean they Bo TWA and he's climbing out and he thinks he sees another aircraft off to the right and feels the surge of exigency because it's a potential mid-air collision so he calls Gatwick approaches Gatwick approach Gatwick approach who's that guy am i right and the controller comes back and says well sir if he has sunglasses on then then that is your co-pilot when that happens man hey but I didn't have a chance of while back to talk to a group of female mental patients which is kind of interesting and one of them came up after the at the end of the program she goes we we really like you so much more than those other people comes pic to us and I felt this flusher pride I said well man thank you very much that's very nice of you to say that just out of curiosity why is that and she says did you think just like we do No Hey you're looking at a guy who's so excited about aviation that it takes to glide slopes to bring them down no really I'm not I'm not kidding to glide slopes I get excited by I still get excited by a sister 170 152 flyby 152 flyby I like the 152 flyby more than I do the Muny flyby the Malibu flyby the Bonanza flyby the glass star flyby I like it more than those other aircraft because it lasts so much longer you have a five not win why this think it lasts all day oh it's just so much fun no really I do I like it more than that cuz those airplanes are so exciting so much money people say what do you like about aviation run I say you know I like the grit I like the grease and I like the grime and that's just the airport coffee so there are a lot of good things in aviation that you could have and I guess I like it because the people are so interesting now we have Edward T hall the anthropologist once said that if you appreciate people and their stories he said you will never be without entertainment last year when I was here at Sun n fun a kid came up to me and folks I don't make fun of anybody because you're looking at a guy who's been made fun of more than anybody else in this side of the Anchorage localizer and kid came up to me she said he's have you ever seen this he had a ball bearing bolted to his tongue his tongue was pierced and he had a ball bearing right there and how many people have ever seen that people how many people have one right now how many people ever yeah what guy you have what sir excellent excellent I'll be directing my presentation to this side of the audience over there but he had a bowl slurred his speech he's a young kid about 17 years old he actually said this to me I'm not making this up you said excuse me he said do you think that this thing will affect my airline career it's what he said folks I don't make fun to anybody especially young food but I looked at him I said will that all depends you planning on answering any questions during the interview look I'll think about it that's it there you go see what you want to do is get the yes-or-no question interview format you'd like to fly hmm we don't crack aah-eee you're hired oh really and but yeah if you have the ball barian thing I think that get it off you got one of those little earrings right there you know I don't think I'd show up with my headset on for the unity that's a well no I ready to fly and that's what you would do but you know I don't mind the earring earrings pretty cool I guess you know but hey you're going to get an earring got to make sure you get it on the right side the profit you get it on the wrong side you get yourself a whole new set of friends if you know what I'm saying gotta be careful there but you know what I think is perhaps vastly underrated a tool a thing that pants just have never even recognized the value of and that is the nose ring you got a nose ring you've got something let me tell you what you can use that to hold your charts with your co-pilots new-hire got a nose ring hey Bob give me the approach chart for Atlanta just like that man that's great powerful stuff okay how many people have the nose ring in here okay that's good I shouldn't dude that's terrible but no earrings okay I'd be careful there and nose ring ah okay that's it if you got the nose ring oxygen mask show up with the oxygen mask on oxygen mask of the head said you're gonna get hired because they know you're motivated so nervous this guy got nervous say he's coming down to land and as he's coming down to land his tongue is sticking out of his mouth like this and I'm the kid how many people have ever seen that before how many people have ever seen anything before and but his tongue was sticking out of his mouth and I noticed that it when he turned to the right his Telugu like it he turned to the left his tongue would go he would actually signal the tongue it was a I guess a est extrasensory tongue position there in advance would point in the direction he's going to go and I think you know this is pretty done because he can't do that on his check right you know I mean the guys getting close to his check right he's sitting there going I guess when he gets his eye off I already know go like this and and I'm looking and got his tongue sticking and thinking expect a kiss check right in for five more hours so I reach into my fly case and I always carry a leather glove in my flight case a pair of leather gloves and the reason I do that is because by the way this is important you might want to remember this in fact everybody take your finger and do this it's very important go and do this let's take your finger put your finger right there put it in your ear really no I'm serious do it do it if you see somebody not doing that I want you to raise your hand and point to him all right if you could use the other hand that would be good but it has I put it there cuz what I'm about to say is so important I don't want it to go in one ear and out the other so okay that went over like a pregnant pole-vaulter but that's okay hey don't worry folks some of these are just for me anyway so the leather glove is very important alpha the airline pilot Association says that you want to carry out and by the way alpha whose motto is last year their motto is or was safety first I think alpha this year's motto is hey Bob what does that's which do anyway so they said carry a leather glove because if something catches fire or is more specifically something as with flame you can reach out grab it with the leather gloves on because leather doesn't burn I mean think back what was the last time you ever saw a cow catch fire and so so I put my leather glove on and I'm watching him and you know this is the I guess the impetuousness of youth in Pecha wasit e of youth he's has his tongue out I reach over and I go oh I grabbed it what's that hmm any good let go I've got to play well - little time right there my grandfather was always messing with me billowy it was amazing because my grandfather would he's got a great sense of humor he'd say things like oh he's 90 years old still alive and kicking little forgetful now but but still alive and kicking and when I was young he go hey come here come here yeah you were adopted I was adopted oh no he says yeah but they brought you back messing with my hand verified it was going you you

Channel: Rod Machado

Views: 41,264

Rating: 4.8922157 out of 5

Keywords: Excerpt, from, Sun, n', Fun, program.

Id: 0XvFvmayYCA

Length: 9min 25sec (565 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 23 2009