Steve Hughes Live at the Apollo London (FULL)

London all right excellent how are you my name's Steve I'm from Australia actually so do you pop you've been to Australia somebody probably thought about going to a straighter and then when how long does it take to get there 27 hours 27 hours in a tube of farts that's the reality number you really want to you know take onboard but that's what's really happening you're sitting there for day and a half it's 600 other people eating airline food I'm telling you someone's farting you understand you get to Australia think you got jet lag just telling you it's not jet lag I understand you've been basting it's a ridiculous distance for any place to be on earth for God's sake the next stop is the moon it's on a slight grown-up date you're standing there all the time going what's the rest of the world doing what are they up to can we join in no well why not because 12 hours drive to the airport sit down and there's no one there it's a continent twice the size of Europe there's 22 million people there that's no one gender Stan there's no one that you want to see a queue in Australia and I you know they think it's they think it's crowded you know and I've been to Mumbai in India 28 million people one the city that's crowded that's traffic it's right putting health and safety regulations on these people there there's selling raw chickens on a piece of cardboard in the Sun brilliant place we're always told in the West that we live in the free countries but I don't know if that's necessarily true all the time because you know freedom is a multi-faceted construct mm-hmm which extends beyond political ideology yes and I've been to Mumbai and you can do whatever you want you don't break them or you do whatever you want you want to sell some socks on a bridge sell some socks on a bridge where's your shop might hey what do you want I got three socks a battery and a hand grenade what you wanna hang out of the Train we'll go to the doctor you don't have to go to the doctor why is an old bloke in the street with medicine there go run around and wait in the queue and wring out can I get an appointment see a doctor and get a prescription no you buy it off this bloke in the straight my mate Northland then he goes to me he'd buy medicine of an old Indian bloke in the street for sure is why I said I'll tell you why mate because he's 300 years old he's got one tooth thing he lives in a bin he's still alive he knows should I trust him or some bloke in Muswell Hill with six mortgages but it's good to be here Hammersmith Odeon I know it's the Apollo but I call it the Aryan because I'm old-school Motorhead no sleep til Hammersmith nicely people Hammersmith Odeon exactly old school that's what it is I used to playing heavy metal beds that's why I had to leave Australia because it doesn't like that kind of stuff and I never suited Australians we had place for me to grow up in my parents at British it's a strange being a white man in a black man's country in the middle of Asia and the culture strange I never suited it you know so based around sport and racism I wasn't very good at a drum and so I played in bands I played here actually in 1989 in a heavy metal band a Nazi I love I love all forms of heavy metal I love heavy metal thrash metal black metal death metal and Enya actually I know you think all think it's a bit of a joke that's not a joke unless you haven't listened to Slayer for eight hours in one day and you know you get up to that type of nonsense you do need something to relax in the afternoon no I did that joke in London one night at the Comedy Store this big Jesus stands up he goes I bloody hate Enya you hate Enya that's a bit intense George Bush is alive George Bush Dick Cheney Condoleezza Rice Tony Blair Donald Rumsfeld Henry Kissinger see these are global as at demons and this is Enya hey positively they're gonna be upset with Enya really it's just silence colored in so it is like they upset for the waterfall we can get a flair open together that's disgusting and recently played a brilliant time recently I just did a gig comedy gig at a heavy metal festival in Derbyshire called blood stock and to tell you people to choose I don't even know why they're bothered getting comics to do the festival because what they've done like most things have become corporate it's like a theme park like rides within the confines of the ground so people would have something to do besides bands right but that made me think why did they even bother getting Canadians because I gotta tell you people there is nothing funnier than a goth on a dodging and they're gonna settle under to the weekend because that was the other time you have any rights running around yeah it was funny just listening to the reporting that's what I've been funny just listen to the game bloody Lucius running around looting again yeah well you know ever been to the British Museum I'm going to get that Sphinx from March that your pyramid yeah we found in the Cotswolds is underage hooter for your never Museum if you didn't go to looting you come to the British Museum and look at our squirrel exhibit put it in a Spitfire make it look more interesting you help yourself to our Yorkshire pudding on the way yeah no I mean the lies were inflicted within the 21st century the war on terror to me is the ultimate one how can you have a war on terror what are you talking about this doesn't even make sense when's this gonna end when they've got the terror well that's it's all gone we're moving on to horror next and get those Goths out of the dodging for status this is insanity kind of a war on terror hearing a war on terror aya that's right what is war create - exactly so you're having a war against the consequence of the actions you're involved it was good Tara skewered pace freedom-loving Tara you know kind of like Tara light you know sort of a diet Tara so if I can't believe it's not Tara you know and then we do with that and then next what do we do with well this is all happening oh by the way the planets broken so warmed up oh yeah we have to fix it now because we've broken it and you know we've done tests who as you know experts better stay here each other man I don't even believe in it people free careful you mean II don't believe in it I don't believe it yes to believe it it it's the law well it's not yet I'm sure it will be but until then no why should I believe in it what are you talking about they're running around the world drop and depleted uranium all over the earth sitting there to let nuclear weapons off underneath the sea and the rest of us what are we gonna do sit at home with a special light bulb and a shopping bag for life and at the end of the day while all this goes on what else is happening well The X Factor's on the news this is not normal it's a TV show why is it on the news it's not normal The Price is Right wasn't on the news this is not me to tell you people they in English the X Factor what have you done you should be ashamed yourself he's exposed I know all countries around the world now if that this kind of stupid shows but you especially America they're too far gone I've met about them what are you up to you can't have the X Factor you can't watch the X this is a you made Black Sabbath Judas Priest Iron Maiden venom Motorhead Def Leppard deep purple Led Zeppelin the Rolling Stones the WHO The Beatles The Smiths The Cure the Damned the Japanese Peter Gabriel pegboards Jarvis Cocker David Bowie Queen Pink Floyd Radiohead super champ Chemical Brothers and the prodigy and if you're watching The X Factor after a resume like that I'm just telling you yeah bit of a bastard I'd be at maximum excellent time

Channel: gan9e

Views: 2,733,955

Rating: 4.8914585 out of 5

Keywords: Steve, Hughes, Apollo, London, BBC, Australian, war on terror, xfactor, Live At The Apollo (TV Program), England, Metal, Comedy (Theater Genre)

Id: 60VUtxmN1IE

Length: 12min 6sec (726 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 15 2012

Reddit Comments

[u/beasmith]

Up there with Jeffries in my opinion, very underrated.

[u/TheMemoman]

Really great comedy!

Never heard of the guy before. I will look him up.

Thanks for posting!

[u/dieyoubastards]

There's an American version now?

I really like this guy.

[u/[deleted]]

The english one?

you know hes austrailian right or have i misunderstood?

[u/Kate331]

Wow - this guy is absolutely brilliant and hysterically funny! So glad you posted this.