Attorneys, What's The Dumbest Thing Your Has Client Done?

lawyers offered it what is the dumbest thing your client has ever done story from a friend of mine he was defending a guy in court don't remember what he was charged with the main witness for prosecution was on the stand and was asked if she could identify the defendant she was scanning the courtroom and seemed confused my friend was already silently celebrating because if she couldn't identify him he could probably get all charged drops as he was mentally adding this case to the wind file he happened to glance over at his client who had just helped fully raised his hand to make it easier for her to identify him even the judge fess up armed on that one wore a shirt that said natural-born killer honored to a hearing for an assault charge I had him turn it inside out he went down anyway it's at least it was for you know actually assaulting someone rather than the shirt cashed in their retirement while in bankruptcy when it is cash it is not protected my all-time favorite is a client I had who was charged with driving under the influence DUI who wanted to challenge the charges on the ground as he didn't think he was drunken the tests was administered improperly who appeared at his court hearings rip-roarin drunk twice and then both times he got into his car and tried to drive away and both times the police promptly stopped him administered a brief ELISA run charged him with DUI and related offenses we didn't win that case I was in court contesting a traffic ticket and saw something like this the guy was in court for a DUI and was seven sheets to the wind he was taken out in shackles fell over twice told a client don't say anything to the police wait until I get there confesses to a crime he wasn't being investigated for not my client but I was on the prosecutors site when a defendant failed to appear for court his attorney can't reach him nobody know where he is so we all sit there for about half an hour until the judge gets sick of it and moves on with the docket we found out later that day that the defendant decided to rob a seven stroke 11:00 the night before and was sitting in jail two counties over when he should have been in court well he did need money to pay his lawyer I used to represent patients who were involuntarily committed because of a mental illness so I wouldn't describe them as dumb but still Clark do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth client no this happened a dozen different times had a client show up to a child custody hearing high on methamphetamine when she arrived she began screaming at the judge and demanding that her no-good m head baby daddy be drug tested I took her in the hallway and told her that if the judge ordered a drug test for the dad he would have to what a one for her end of argument I worked for the public defender's office and met the client in jail for a lineup that he had adamantly demanded regarding a crime with multiple witnesses I met the client for the first time in a separate room to let him know how it would go down and want to expect this is the kind of lineup you traditionally see on television where there are a number of similar-looking people standing shoulder-to-shoulder in front of mirrored glass they pull the people for the lineup from the jail population and despite their best efforts this is not a huge population I walk in to meet the client and he has a style his left lower eyelid the size of a golf ball it was the most identifiable mark on a human's face I have ever seen he still demanded the lineup and was identified instantly by every single witness without a shred of doubt in their mind he still demanded at trial and the stai was gone by the time the trial commenced I had one of these defendant robbed his friends at gunpoint in their home wearing a Halloween mask he had shown them the day before and wearing a short sleeved shirt that displayed his distinctive sleeve of tattoos fathom judge was determining if a defendant qualified for a public defender judge sir do you have any income defendant yes your honor judge from what source do you have income defendant selling marijuana Your Honor this happened in Illinois and the defendant was not under oath honesty is the best policy unless it involves telling a judge you sell weed for a living I represent clients before the IRS had a couple who owed around 250,000 dollars in back taxes we had no defense so the only thing to do was have the clients meet with the IRS and plead for leniency well the wife got arrogant with the IRS agent and at one point stood up and screamed at the IRS agent who was a pretty decent person making a very middle-class wage you'll take away my Mercedes over my dead body then she stormed out of the conference room needless to say she lost the Mercedes not a lawyer but this happened in court my dad was suing a customer for non-payment the judge ruled in his favor for the whole 15k the guy he was suing got up to leave but walked over to my dad and said if you think you are going to see a dime of that money you are a frickin [ __ ] I will kill me first he then walked away for a second my dad was worried the guy would get away with the threat but he didn't worry much because the guy had said it loud enough for the bailiff and the judge to hear he did not make it out of the courtroom my dad was a lawyer in the Navy one of his first big cases was defending a guy accused of falling asleep at his post during Vietnam my dad was all psyched delivering what he thought was well-prepared defense to the judge and the judge interrupted him telling him to turn around and wake up his client guy might have had some type of disorder a client in a pie case claiming damage to their lower back posted pictures of themselves to their Facebook page riding jet skis and horses the defense subpoenaed the clients Facebook page accidentally admitted to the crime in his direct examination fathom the case had gone on for years client was badly injured in a car accident and was about to win Millions then she posted a facebook status about her doing something very active and thus negating the entire case had to settle for $100,000 years of work down the drain in one facebook status attorney servant off process this is Jen from Judge grandpa faces office your client who I see is charged with harassing phone calls left has 87 messages over the weekend the judge would like a word with you you see Your Honor I couldn't be the one Harris in my ex because I spent my weekend harassing you I had a brilliant gentleman on probation for narcotics trafficking and was not permitted to own use a cell phone he went in for a drug test with his probation officer and his cell rang in his pocket the PIO went to take the phone from his pocket and also pulled out a large baggie of cocaine that he brought to his drug test hey B and C are drinking and playing cards a shoots B with a crossbow just happened to have one B staggers out into the street where naturally he attracts some attention of fleas police follow blood trail back to the scene to find C my eventual client mopping up the blood placing the crossbow bolt in a garbage bag and generally tidying up charged with tampering with evidence I never understood why his internal housewife took over and kept him from calling 9-1-1 she has a restraining order on you you absolutely cannot contact her anymore they moved in together fortunately I was not the attorney in question but guys convicted of some traffic related offense loses his driver's license effective immediately gets in the car and drives home along with his lawyer I remember watching a short little blurb about the number of people that drive to the DMV to get their expired license is renewed even the ones who go fail the test then drive home not my client and not my case but a colleague was defending a driver in a wrongful death case the first question at his deposition was please state your name for the record the driver stood up and started screaming at the plaintiff's attorney and threatened to kill him that went well didn't happen to me but happened to an attorney I know client shows up for prelim hearing on domestic violence petition is wearing ratty shirt but his attorney doesn't pay attention to it attorney starts arguing seized a judge turning bright red fuming with anger judge asks the attorney if he spoke with his client about courtroom attire attorney looks down client is wearing a shirt that says I have the dong so I make the rules My Lord teacher would tell stories about a juvenile court he used to work in in one of the more questionable areas of California apparently they had a real problem with defendants coming in with sagging pants and court officials showing up in beach clothes the judge finally got so fed up with it that he kept a box of rope for an impromptu belt and a box of neckties behind his desk and he'd begin court proceedings by lobbing ample amounts of both over his stand at any one he felt was in need of them the cops in my preliminary hearing showed up in camo shorts and beaters I was wearing suit and tie family law case judge had asked to interview the minor child in a closed courtroom with no parents attorneys could stay when done client ray enters the courtroom to see the child crying and promptly tells the judge that he is frickin red right up to that point my client was winning and was about to have the other part is parenting time suspended the kid had said the other part he abuses him and that he did not want to see that parent anymore judge was not pleased other parties parenting time suspended my client has anger management class is ordered fines psych testing and drug testing during a divorce the ex-husband claimed that he didn't make much or any money and wasn't able to pay the child support we were asking him to pay a few hours after receiving this information he posts a picture on his public facebook of a wad of cash talking about how balan he was needless to say it is claimed it and holed up after that in his defense people who post pictures of cash normally a poor that's why they're so excited to have whatever money they do have I got your domestic violence charges dismissed goes home after hearing and beats up wife yet the de should have pushed for counseling and probation that was everybody's bad ur not my client but in a well-known prisoner civil rights suit the prisoner acting pro se of course filed a motion to kiss my ass in which he requested that America at large and one corrupt judge bend over and kiss his ass the motion was denied I'm going to allow it at first appearance a defendant stood there calmly and quietly when the judge was reading his charges and bond information when the judge asked if the defendant had any questions the defendant gave the judge the finger and said Frick you mothersucker go freak yourself and then proceeded to throw down the microphone and walk away the judge who had been on the bench for years replied well I guess I'll let you know when my fan club meets my sister is a public defender she recently had a sharp lift in case where the defendant was caught in possession of stolen goods which happened to match a list also in his possession entitled crap to steal from Walmart client was an accountant for a good-sized company during the recession she was laid off and filed for unemployment where claim she made 200 k plus salary real salary was 60 K the company received the unemployment claim investigated and found out she embezzled millions so I am a law student but I work at a volunteer desk that helps people complete the forms for court the awful part is I can't give any legal advice since I'm not a lawyer which means I can't tell these people they don't have a case however the stories are great there the lady who sues celebrities she asked me to help her sue Robert DeNiro someone else helped her with a suit for Matthew McConaughey she was doing it on behalf of her kids and their fathers for in excess of $100 million dollars she didn't even know how to spell their names then there's the guy who is suing DirecTV CNN Fox and who knows who else apparently he's the one you have to thnk for putting color on your TV shows and adding animation he was suing because they hadn't paid him ever finally there's the lady who is suing her former employer for giving her too much money on her last paycheck she told me they did it because they liked her and wanted her to come back there was maybe 60 extra dollars on the check she was suing for $10,000 not a lawyer but in court for a ticket apparently the cop lost the ticket book so there was no official evidence the judge said the next 15 on the docket I was luckily one of the 15 just needed to say not guilty since there was no evidence one [ __ ] got up there and started to argue that he was only going 5 miles per hour over not 10 the judge looked at him and said son just say not guilty the guy again said but I wasn't going that fast the judge laughed and repeated again son just say two words for me not in guilty the guy confused mumbled not guilty in the form of a question the judge said dismissed everyone in the courtroom laughed and clapped for him I'm not a lawyer build the optometrists that I went to had an officer manager that was marking on people's accounts that they got refund checks and crediting the balance then cashing them herself she took $50 zero zero zero in a year and got caught when asked why she did it she said no one told me I couldn't airtight argument so I was representing a kid accused of conspiracy to supply drugs he was accused of acting as a lookout warning the others whenever the police were approaching he had a fantastic case and it looked like he was going to win on the day of trial he turned up for trial wearing a huge t-shirt with the Warner Brothers logo on above and below the WB logo was printed if you see the pigs Warner brother he refused to change naw blood no white boy tells me how to dress he was convicted I'm a legal secretary it's illegal to kill crocodiles in Australia so our client filmed himself and his friends doing it funnily enough they got caught going to be kind of hard to disprove a video that clearly shows the animal being killed and subsequent celebration plus photos with the carcass what an idiot another guy robbed the pub he worked for stole the were cute drove to the city went straight to the casino parked the work car in the lot lost ten dollars zero zero zero playing blackjack then bought $2 500 H and was entertaining them when the cops arrested him a classic there probably others but I've been doing this for ten years so they've all blurred together a people are done you have been visited by party pug he just wants you to celebrate with him comment woo ho to celebrate with a party pug [Music]

Channel: Updoot Studios

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Id: kWJZr58ac0M

Length: 15min 32sec (932 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 20 2019