Asmongold Reacts to "TheVarus Strakes Buck" | By Internet Historian

the varus strikes back i swore to god i just realized he met the varus i mean the virus oh my god i can't believe that wait a minute what the hell is is this for me is this is this for me right here guys wha wha what is this guys i i have to [ __ ] deal with this oh my [ __ ] god man oh yeah we're going there thank you all of my children we're here today to test the launch of my new cyber rocket with this i pledge to you that we will have a man on the earth by the year 2013. oh [ __ ] but before we embark on this journey we must talk about some of the mistakes of the past so that we are not doomed to repeat them oh no anyway it was a sunny day in downtown luhan and people were coughing into each other's mouths as customers oh yeah i've heard about that it's going viral douchebag i'm a big man and i'm gonna pull out my dick february 2020 the virus is everywhere oh my god but some were sneaking out others not taking it seriously at all in my face dude we've watched it dude this guy like i don't know why this guy just makes me mad to look at him like it just makes me mad to [ __ ] to just look at him he's so [ __ ] obnoxious this was the all gas no brakes video people were outside going about their normal lives before everything closes yeah it was time for drastic action so the mayors and governors from around the world gathered together with a solution to the problem of sneaking out while grounded snitching hotlines hey there it is snitches get rewards simply take a picture wait what snitches is this [ __ ] real get rewards yo is this [ __ ] is that [ __ ] real or is that [ __ ] it's so stupid simply take a picture of someone and text it to the official snitch line to put those rule breakers in their place what's up boys over here at wendy's wait a scoop instant justice some people need to get the message send a photo and we will make sure oh i'm famous now look at that oh my god i was i was in my car dude i don't want to hear about it there's probably have been there been people taking pictures of straight up nazis in their place what's up boys over here at wendy's [ __ ] justice some people need to get the message send a photo and we will make sure that enforcement comes right away but naturally many new yorkers did not take very oh look at his mouth bro there's some people that like this guy needs to wear a mask all the time he needs to wear a mask all the time like not just for corona but just for other people's safety look at that naturally many new authors did not take very kindly to this idea so they decided to text the hotline as well so now text after text came rolling in what a success let's open the first one wow how about that surprise turns out people weren't just sending in tips they were sending the whole shaft oh jesus next one next next next just close it i can't it's just going faster text after text was the same pictures of people giving the finger dick pics this isn't helping at all sir our servers can't handle this amount of erotica all at once well save some of the more tasteful nudes on this thumb drive and shut it down and so yeah but the snitches forgot the first rule snitching snitches get unmasked by state sunshine laws in missouri they have them two weeks after their own snitching program went live turned out it was all subject to public record by anyone who requested it wait what more than 900 missouri residents who snitched on lockdown rule breakers fear retaliation after their details are leaked online holy [ __ ] what does this even say oh i this is crazy why is it didn't they think of this before they [ __ ] because like i guarantee you they wouldn't have snitched if they had known that they'd be held accountable for it they would have never done it which of course leads into the conversation of is this ethical to do to begin with which i don't want to have okay so don't even start guys just don't even [ __ ] start so after more than 900 tips 29 businesses were reprimanded many tipsters reported their own jobs for not following social of course they did because this dude's mad at his boss and the boss probably like maybe did something wrong maybe not maybe he just reports his boss for no [ __ ] reason holy [ __ ] man this is incredible uh it was meant to be anonymous well they should have known they they should have looked yes it was meant to be anonymous but they should have contacted lawyers to make sure that this wouldn't have happened before that they made the rule okay like this just come on come on of course they should have known that i'm worried about getting someone showing up at my door showing up at my workplace or getting me fired for doing what's right holy [ __ ] god damn they should have contacted lawyers wait is that unreasonable for me to expect for these government officials and government bodies to contact lawyers to prevent possible negative outcomes from occurring through legislation is this dumb of me to think for them to have done like they should have done this i don't know i feel like that kind of makes sense you requested it so not only is all of this information not anonymous or private it's published indefinitely on a government website with zero redaction oh my oh dear really i'm not gonna put any of those details here but if you live in missouri and you're a bit curious links as always are in the description down below in washington and louisiana wow unmasked too in frisco texas they made an app for snitching as well but there was backlash and it was terminated in la mia's infamous snitches statement was walked back a couple was fined fifteen hundred dollars each for going on a drive to lakes entrance and posting photos on social media oh my god i certainly hope you've got a guy warned that if they do it again they would be arrested except the photos were from a year ago we're not going to get everything right all the time and we will make mistakes but worst of all that's true yeah that is a hundred percent true they don't uh sometimes they just don't get it right and um uh like this is the problem with like the police and like social media is like they literally don't understand like the doxing thing and like people swatting like the police stations don't even understand that you can call from a fake phone number they don't even get it and you explain them and like because i've talked to people who have talked to the police about this like will you call for a fake gnome phone number how can the phone number be fake if the phone's real they said some stupid [ __ ] like that like who are these guys who the who the [ __ ] are these guys i don't know what to say the uk nine coppers for one lap 194 000 calls in a single month had been made regarding people leaving their homes without a license and tens of thousands of signs have been issued the british frown down on telltales there's even an old nursery rhyme telltale tit your tongue shall be slit you make any more noise and i'm calling the police oh [ __ ] show me what you've got yeah and yet while normal everyday activities were being criminalized yeah regular crimes were being made de facto legal good job and in major cities it seemed as though everyone was going for the high score yeah that's actually true people aren't afraid to go out on the street at night what can we do to increase crime i have an idea oh what could it be in new york and la they experimented with reducing bail to zero and it went exactly as you'd expect hey i respawned boys it's time to go again man this shit's so [ __ ] funny man it's like literally grand theft auto they arrest you and and you [ __ ] priest yeah he won the ghoul egg the other guy dc'd i [ __ ] love this man like i remember i was like i was talking about it with my mom and i said this before right my mom was like i'm so glad that this wasn't 10 years ago and i'm like why is that mom and she said you because you'd be looting i'm like true i'm happy dude i'd have gone in there man we'd like man dude i'd have been a i'm a ti i'd have been a [ __ ] looter like a hundred [ __ ] percent i would have been uh yeah respawn man read the text bottom left what is this you have a five percent discount in shops for achieving good behavior reports from 90 of your peers oh my [ __ ] god yeah i was i was a bad boy you would have wiped i i don't know about that wait oh it wait it is gta oh my god hey great minds think alike i don't even i didn't even notice that holy [ __ ] uh-oh look at him dude so they said any burglaries up to a thousand dollars worth of goods would no longer result in the police showing up to the scene hey so you're telling me that i can steal up to a thousand dollars worth of goods and the police won't even try to make an arrest well well maybe one day if somehow they're identified but you want everyone to wear a mask too of course yes i never really even thought of that yeah i i never even really thought of that but yeah how the [ __ ] are you gonna identify him if they're wearing a mask [ __ ] so people walked up to the buffet and had their fill hey how about that if you could walk into a store grab what you want and just go that's crazy what would shopping look like oh my gosh i know what it looks like welcome to amazon go [Music] there we go just walk out technology [Music] take whatever wait so is this a video of these guys literally just going into cvs and stealing [ __ ] welcome to amazon go [Music] we call it just walk out technology holy [ __ ] dude that is amazing that is absolutely [ __ ] yeah this is hey it's the land of the free i mean what are you gonna arrest these patriots i mean come on just walk on out you know just do that in high school oh dude i mean i i can't even tell the stories right but like this is [ __ ] incredible oh my god not even wearing a mask well they're wearing sunglasses okay pieces [Music] take whatever you like sometimes when i call 9-1-1 nobody answered yeah no lines no check out no oh my god shoplifters don't seem to care dude oh my god wait what does he have wait a minute i do i love these clips take whatever you like sometimes when i call 9-1-1 nobody answers no lines no check-out there right there the guy on the left i know what he did they sell these at walgreens because he's at walgreens they sell these at walgreens and he went over to walgreens and he stole the suitcase and now he's filling up his stolen suitcase with other stolen materials on the left yeah whatever oh my god he's packing for a trip yeah he's got to get he's gotta catch a flight no seriously shoplifters don't seem to care who's watching once you've got everything you want you can just oh wait was the guy dancing we'll go get that okay he's dancing don't seem to [Music] backpacks in the middle of the deck this is incredible hey you can keep going amazon go [ __ ] them dude yeah yeah good morning tomorrow anyone who had non-violent misdemeanors serving sentences of less than a year or scheduled to be free in 30 days or fewer was released and the results predictable one man only lasted 37 minutes before being arrested again another man was arrested three times in one day first were attempting to break into a vehicle next for stealing items out of someone's front yard and then again for stealing a vehicle and each time he was arrested he just moon walked out of there i like how he [ __ ] he goes on he builds it up you know okay i steal this little thing that i steal some [ __ ] at people's yard is like wait that's okay yo what if i steal a car but what if he steals our wait wait wait what if he steals a really shitty car that's worth less than less than a thousand dollars what if you go and you find like a 97 honda civic that's got no hubcaps left on it and like the back windshield is just duct taped because it got broken 20 years ago do you just get to keep the car oh my god for his seventh time he got arrested for stealing a vehicle so apparently he's not very good talk about it crime rates went right through the ceiling seventh time famous criminal time takashi 69 was released early from his 18 month sentence and instantly broke instagram and youtube records with his live streaming music video other high profile names asking for early release include r kelly bill cosby that's good martin shkreli and our good friend billy mcfarland breakout time then some prisoners came together with an idea what's your plan well if we have an outbreak at our prison then maybe they just have to let some of us go worth a shot so prisoners at the north county correctional facility tried passing around water containers and shared a mask to get it it worked somewhat as 30 prisoners soon tested positive for the virus but then administrators gotten on to what they were doing and none of them were released this is the original star fox level one uh song oh my [ __ ] dude celebrities oh i can't wait for this speaking of people who should be in prison yes celebrities we have forgotten about the important people guys we're bored too they crave the attention they need it without it they will surely shrivel and perish but when everything gets shut down and they're trapped in their homes and can't get on tv [Applause] they begin to go a little stir well that's annoying imagine living with that person okay guys now i know we're all feeling the struggle right now without television and press following you around you need to make yourselves trend we need you now more than ever jimmy jimmy female jimmy you're the funny guys you must continue working from home you'll be i hate that dude i hate that how like celebrities take it on themselves to feel like they have to like make comments and statements about things like that oh dude it drives me crazy it's so so i think everybody hates it his competitor now is a swedish boy that reacts to funny videos on his kitchen floor sounds terrible it was toilet paper it was a huge box of i was like a kid on the toilet on christmas morning 60 double rolls of heaven you get to play that fun game protected from the coronavirus or botched nose job or both i think his writers got coronavirus so he had to think this stuff up himself it's you know disappointing you see how you see how like how bad these jokes are whenever you don't have the laugh track you understand like whenever they have like the television audiences they literally have like big things that go and it says applause that's how that's how they know that like you think about it right you go to a dave chappelle stand-up comedy like a [ __ ] skit there they just laugh whenever he's funny like this is completely different this is completely [ __ ] different yeah laugh tracks is it keck w's that's what it is it's like literally saying you know whenever you have like certain streamers this cringes me out so much man and whenever you have certain streamers and they will say lol w in the chat or keck w in the chat after they tell a joke that is a laugh track that is a goddamn [ __ ] bonafide 100 percent laugh track i've been watching this video for like 10 minutes like 20 minutes i've been through 10 minutes when in here is gay no no shut it down not that one how about an uplifting song to boost morale this could be our generations we are the world yeah i can give it a go i love uplifting music [Music] this is not the time when everyone's grammy's dying you [ __ ] idiot you feel like they that they feel like they did something significant she's so happy gal gadot whatever woman i lost my job at the meat packing plant but galaga dough sang it man and it's a terrible version you guys suck at singing yeah thank you oh boy madonna how about an inspirational speech to lift those faces i mean spirits please don't that's the thing about covid19 it doesn't care about how rich you are it's look at this she has like [ __ ] rose petals in the bathtub like what the [ __ ] who does that i'm sure she's really having a bad time it's a great equalizer and what's terrible about it is what's great about it what what's terrible about it is it's made this all equal in many ways and what's wonderful about it is that it's made us all equal in many ways jesus christ maybe just stick to singing because there's no more pasta oh no so we're gonna eat some salad i really don't know if i can watch the rest of this if he keeps going like i really don't know if i can i have to pause it [ __ ] like every five seconds because i'm just i i feel you know how like i i feel pain i feel like literal pain like this is not oh god i just how do you say imagine there's no heaven whenever peoples are grant yeah whenever grandma's dying like doesn't that seem like that's the wrong song like that's like that's like going to someone's funeral and playing highway to hell like it just seems like a [ __ ] a it seems like a big miscalculation let's say that it's a misfucking calculation okay not bad let's try to start again keep it positive you know wait is there a [ __ ] china thank you cardi you really are the voice of reason guess what [ __ ] corona paris well that was vanessa maybe you can see that was the best one because at least that was fun it was so [ __ ] ridiculous it was funny yeah that was about at least that was [ __ ] funny speak to your fans you seem to have a lot of free time at the moment like yeah people are gonna die it's just terrible but like inevitable oh god oh geez we're losing them i like how like i remember whenever arnold schwarzenegger made a video and obviously the girl said something really stupid okay like people do this all the time they they have a stupid idea in their head and then they think that everybody's [ __ ] entitled to it so they're like ah you know what this is the dumbest thing i've thought of today let's put this one on twitter yeah that's right let's put this one on twitter because he uh our sword saying it was like he's like yeah you guys are talking about not doing masks that's very unwise and he's just sitting in his backyard smoking a cigar it's completely chill there wasn't any sort of like weird [ __ ] pandering there wasn't any attention whoring there wasn't anything i'm just saying yeah keep to yourselves don't be stupid and that was it that's [ __ ] it that was it arnold's the man yeah i mean [ __ ] dude like my man like yeah that's all it was you guys in your massive houses and complaining isn't relatable at all we need to meet them on their level i've got this cry for a second and i was gonna do it by myself and then i thought you know what it's important for everybody but before i continue add time [Music] what the [ __ ] i don't even know what this is dad look i got you a present thanks son uh let's go through the old football around in celebration of my new present wired headphones with [Music] oh wow never again he should have had the wire gotcha wired headphones you dangerous [ __ ] huh i can't hear you i have my everyday e25 recon earbuds in i'll save you there's another one don't worry i'll save you two now you two kiss six hours of play time half the price of other premium brands raycon good wires bad okay will you seamlessly connect your bluetooth with me can i get a closer look wow i love the range of colors they come in of course i will let me just put them in right now wow they fit so snug wow i think i'll put mine in as well just don't insert them into other holes hey doc it's happened again [Music] okay no wait what's wrong don't want to live in cyberpunk and have your brain all [ __ ] up by 5g yeah that's what i was thinking so so these things protect you from 5g yeah maybe the uh maybe the little things in your ears because like the the the um the wizard or sorry lizard frequencies uh can't get into your ears if you have these on 25 airbus from raycon and over is it weird that i actually kind of look forward to that inside of every single one of these videos like that's like one of the parts that i kind of just look forward to i'm like oh man i wonder what this one's gonna be yeah banyan's humble yellow onions onion six bar onions gripping the onion like a tennis ball it's time for an uplifting story prim murti pandy 56 works at mumbai airport everything was going into lockdown and he wanted to be with his family but they were in allahabad and he was stuck in andery east just fly no flights just drive not so simple roads are closed to all non-essential travel what to do so he hatched a plan i'll become an essential traveller he started with the test case he hired a truck and drove 200 kilometers to pimp elgin bought 1300 kilograms of watermelon come to terms with the already large quantity of melons we already have and sent the truck back to mumbai where he had a seller that success wasn't stopped at a profit we're an essential traveler now boys time to do it again but this time all the way home so he's so he hired another truck got an permit oh my god and this time bought 25 520 kilograms of onions and the article says he disguised himself as an onion seller i don't know what that looks like so here's this he then hauled ass 1200 kilometers over three grueling days and nights through three states to get home he makes it now to sell the goods and see my family he stopped at the wholesale market and tried to find a buyer for the onions except nobody wanted them onions onions how much does that even cost like i bet that it's probably not even that much money like buying that many onions they're probably like here oh just give us a thousand bucks we'll give you all the onions that we have yeah it's like yeah it's ten dollars i wonder how much that actually cost the lockdown there was a huge glut in the market well that's a big one 26 tons it's a lot of onions onions everybody loves onions onions holy [ __ ] onions should have gone with watermelons no should have gone with watermelon daddy's coming home and he's smelling of onions by the late afternoon he just gave up and drove the truck to his house to be with his family however the next day knock knock it's the police oh no you're not here to buy some onions are you and they were not oh so he spent the next two weeks in the quarantine center and he's still looking for a buyer for the onions mr clean gets rid of gardens he took a chance he took a [ __ ] chance that's impressive i like that story okay what's this oh it's a cat cats don't give you coronavirus i'm pretty sure i need some hand sanitizer all right what is it when the outbreak first happened there was one clear piece of advice from the who wash your hands both soap and hand sanitizer would work why would i do that we had plenty of soap so naturally we panicked about the hand sanitizer yeah of course that's gold that's gold and panic soon turned to profit people had seen the rush on toilet paper and they knew to get in quick yeah and the two of the fastest shoppers in the west were entrepreneurial brothers matt and noah oh my god they hopped in their truck and drove from town to town state to state buying up every bottle they could get their immaculately disinfected hands on capitalism there it is by the end thousands 17 000 bottles i can tell you how this is going to end the shortage didn't lead to profit they bought too much of it and they weren't able to sell all the stock they had i can almost guarantee that's what's gonna happen because i did the same [ __ ] and wow and i thought i was the smartest guy ever whenever i was doing it and it ended up being a [ __ ] mistake the plan sell them on ebay and amazon at a huge market it was the perfect time well until the inevitable happened everyone got super mad the new york times low on hand sanitizer themselves decided to investigate the brothers as they worked in an article the unsterilized masses made complaints and then someone went to jeff and told jeff made their online accounts go to sleep ebay followed someone now there was nowhere to sell their goods oh no the law got involved and the da said price gouging illegal me angry so the authorities called up matt noah hey guys hey good to hear from you you too i'm afraid it's not entirely a social call though [Music] yes price gouging illegal yeah so what you what uh prison or philanthropy we're sending over a squad car now i have decided to give back to the community so the police pull up the media too and matt and noah announced that they will be giving it all away for free they did an interview for television and wore this amazing shirt the pricing on amazon was higher than it was definitely higher than retail would you say you're sorry no i don't think that i would note a similar thing i mean like i mean i don't think that i would because you know like in his head he's like he's he's like you ever seen like those people that can fit in like a little box like a shoebox that's like what his brain is doing in order for him to think that he's actually trying to help somebody out that that's what he's trying to do happened in adelaide australia when a man brought up hundreds of packs of toilet paper and hand sanitizer then he realized he couldn't sell it and tried to return it all back to drake's supermarket drake himself told the guy to please leave i told him that he has a youtube channel by the way but this did little to about the shortage of supply and over price gouging it's only one guy but don't be too mad at these guys this small timers microscopic compared to china oh sorry what i mean is compared to the brave heroes of the ccp i didn't know he plays for the nba crazy there's an outbreak to buy up personal protective equipment oh my god especially masks and ship it all back wait to china thank you all in a day's work the scale here by the way is just ridiculous millions of face masks that's [ __ ] awesome four billion pieces of protective that is spontaneous 700 000 hazmat on a private jet we just wanted to ask you guys what all these products are and where they're going if you went out to buy a mask in january or february and notice that there were none it wasn't just because there was a big rush on them it was because there was a big export and then when other countries had a shortage the ccp swooped in to sell locally manufactured mosques back to europe and the united states at an escalated price only then later for them to be found defective and needing to be recalled again anyway back to the hand sanitizer specifically that is [ __ ] beautiful like they've done some scummy scumbag [ __ ] yeah china's better at capitalism than america is how is it funny it's funny in the kind of way it's like a morbid hilarity right it's like it's so terrible it's funny like obviously it's horrible they should it's terrible they've done that right do i have to really say that i mean come on like it's obviously horrible it's dark humor yeah exactly it's just so [ __ ] ridiculous and terrible that it's just insane like yeah it's just a complete shamelessness of it absolute shamelessness it was a shortage so new york governor andrew cuomo stepped in with the solution it's up to me he unveiled his new line of hand sanitizer open the curtain please nys clean a 75 alcohol strength concoction made by the humble citizens of great meadows correctional facility floral bouquet little i detected lilac hydrangea tulips what does it smell like to you tulip they were capable of producing a hundred thousand gallons every week it was much cheaper than any other product on the market mainly because the price of labor was pretty much zero other i think that's i think there's a word for that isn't there isn't there a word for that didn't we have a word for that we used to talk about it a lot like maybe 170 years ago i don't know dude somebody it's probably uh states rights there it is yeah states rights pharmaceutical items that disappeared fast were vitamins and critically inhalers how many arms you vape in there it was tough for the asthmatics already picked on for their feeble bodies their weak lungs embarrassing everybody laughs at the asthmatics even if we you know pretend and say nice things to their face yeah the next big one would be gloves once they were recommended there was a run on them too and once those were out there was a run-on surprisingly condoms the thinking man's glove if you need to press a button on the elevator or put a trolley around the grocery store that is smart no problem just use your [ __ ] you have to have like 10 at a time [Music] in a medical center in delhi there's a gang of monkeys scheming oh [ __ ] son of a [ __ ] i'm in tristra all right dude some red-faced rhesus macaques tired of this situation go rogue they bust out of their cage and attack a researcher snatching covered blood samples as they make their way to the exit give me that no mojo no put that down bad monkey they make a break for it evading staff and guards and leap out the window to freedom jesus dude one was later seen in a tree chewing on one of the samples in a further act of defiance another was seen chewing on a surgical glove apparently it's become a big problem in delhi monkeys everywhere they snatch people's stuff and even break into homes what it seems that nature isn't just returning peacefully it's come back with a vengeance and if we intend to survive we're gonna have to learn to with a vengeance and if we intend no no five no what do you think the odds are this guy was sober he was protecting his dog i it's just it's funny that's all it's just [ __ ] funny the roo is choking out his dog we're gonna have to learn to fight back wow so anyway with this knowledge we will conquer earth and rule over it once again oh no it's here and that's about it probably no part three unless something ridiculous happens like an autonomous zone in portland or the government shutting off utilities on the second channel again you bet we've got a feature length so now coming out in a bit over a month this one's going to be over an hour long so grab some popcorn party wait it's actually it comes right up okay it's only three we're all looking forward to seeing max on the board when to our horror it turns out to be something else altogether oh [ __ ] there he is oh [ __ ] hey but all the hell the big buck actually has hold of the dog not the other way around as greg is this what happens over there [Music] yo is this what happens over there in australia it's fake how's it fake how could they pay him to do that what the [ __ ] he's going this could get dangerous wait what does he have on his on his belt is that a sword or a dagger oh [ __ ] let it go times let's go what now the dog's coming what the [ __ ] well we're not sure what's going on here but the roux has the dog not the other way around max calmly waits for his arm and he helps like a champ [ __ ] out sees the odds sticking against him and tries to gut the dog with his claws one last time yeah his powerful arms anchor the dog by the door and sizes up the human to be his next victim tonks gives the kangaroo space but the cranky butt comes forward ready to attack makes the right decision again and battlefield leaving the bucks stunned as to what has just taken place yo this guy works out he's got to stand his ground like he has done many times before and fighting for breeding rights against other big boomers like himself what does he eyes off tonks again possibly contemplating some revenge for the clip on the snoz luckily for everyone involved though he decides enough is enough and goes about his day that's a good idea holy [ __ ] that is [ __ ] insane that is absolutely [ __ ] insane wow i i don't even know what to say kangaroo i've already watched enough okay um regardless this video by the way i want to say i'll link the video again make sure to like the video i love this guy's videos like this is probably this is one of the best ones because like usually like whenever this guy's telling a story it's like some kind of like arcane like story that happened like the sweden thing or whatever but this dude i had no idea people were just randomly going around and stealing [ __ ] like they're just going around and like hey you know what hey it's free real estate homie like what's that hey i just i get what i i get what i can man that's all there is to it foreign

Channel: Asmongold TV

Views: 350,558

Rating: 4.7904449 out of 5

Keywords: asmongold, asmongold reacts, asmongold highlights, asmongold youtube, asmongold tv, asmongold internet historian, internet historian, internet historian reaction, internet historian react, asmongold internet, asmongold historian, asmongold thevarus, internet historian thevarus, internet historian thevarus strakes buck, asmongold thevarus strakes back, thevarus, thevarus reaction, thevarus asmongold, asmon internet historian, internet historian varus, thevarus 2, varus reaction

Id: ntGuNZNU0O0

Length: 41min 0sec (2460 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 26 2020