Artie Lange On Letterman 10/14/2011

no never oh hey all right here we go our first guest hasn't been on the program for a long time we have some catching up to do with our first guest a very funny man and you can listen to the guy is a new sports radio program entitled the Nick and Arnie show oh yes you can already show and you can hear it at Nick and rt.com ladies gentlemen here's our T of Nick and Artie Artie Lange Artie come on I already are you doing what's up there buddy the oh man I'm doing pretty well and good to see you again and you look great oh thank you thank you for being on the show now I don't know how to get into this exactly but I think there's some areas that we discuss sure we went away for a while we didn't see you because I assume well how would you describe the the difficulty that you endured I had some issues with with drug usage as a drug uses what are we talking about we're talking about um you know pills and things and you know not steroids now you say pills I did steroids wrong I just took steroids and didn't lift weights and I just got bigger bigger when the pills are they sort of depressants are they sort of like what Downers is up with this yeah I got a little down when I took them here but sometimes I got a little uptight a little up and you know he also mentioned things what what other things was in that uh I did some gamblin here and there on sports and um you know pretty much anything are you or what they say a degenerate gambler uh I think based on how I'm dressed you could say I'm with the general gamba so there was a I got on the Jets a lot but with with all of these stories one comes to a point where a change absolutely has to work right I had the great opportunity they've to visit a couple of psych wards I spent some time in psych wards right and I got to tell you man you have not lived so you've played Scrabble in a psych ward do they do they encourage Scrabble is what method of rehabilitation just encourage killing time I think you know so are you a good scrub well I played Scrabble right I played Scrabble Scrabble war in a psych ward here's here's the Scrabble game it's me which already makes it a horrible Scrabble game I went to summer school in the 10th grade because I failed Jim really yeah and then there was another girl there who was a 90-pound crystal meth addict was the other player and I always say this crystal Mets a good drug to do if you want to walk the st. Louis one weekend a lot of energy a lot of energy and the other player there was three of us the other player was a 400-pound paranoid schizophrenic guy who hadn't gotten his medication yet so that's the Scrabble game so I'm sitting in between them and I'm keeping score so when the 400-pound guy when he went third there was an open G and all the guy did was he put an M in an R next to the gene so it just a GM our Jim Jim Orr right not a word now I was out of work I was scared of this guy right so I just went great word let's add that up that's it that's it ah what's that in Em's of three you're on the double letter score whatever the girl decides to argue with the guy she goes that's not a word and I'm like under the table going it's a word yeah you don't know no it's not a word so now they're gonna do an argument everything so the guy goes it's an abbreviation and she goes for what and the guy says it's the abbreviation for game room GMR yeah think about it it might be the might be could be MMR yeah buddy but in Scrabble abbreviations don't count well I don't think the guy knew that yeah it's too bad and again I was scared of the guy so I just went great abbreviation did you play a lot of Scrabble uh well what happened was um they got into a fight over this and she said abbreviations don't countin Scrabble and he goes yes they do and she goes I never heard that and the guy honestly say this thing he said he goes that's cuz you're not a genius Wow food for thought then they got you a fight like he tried to he tried to hit her and I got in between it security out of come over so I think I saved the woman's life good for you already way too sure is a great plus to the plan but I'm glad to hear that it must be a horrible difficult thing to go through but you know thank God you went through it yeah go through it as a public figure right that must make it even more difficult doesn't it yeah well I don't know what this says about fans of mine but uh 90% of the people on the psych ward had my book that I wrote to fat to fish too fat to fish you have to fish here right up there with the Great Gatsby it's big um uh and a guy came up to me and I don't know what's wrong with him but he was shaking and um he said listen I know everything's supposed to be anonymous here but if I get my wife to send send me your book will you sign it for me and I said yes but don't worry I'll keep it anonymous right so the phones are all open there you can hear about his phone conversation so an hour later I'm walking by the phone I hear the guy screaming at his wife he goes just send the Artie Lange's book I can't tell you why Wow now how do you feel now are you all right now I feel good now so you see you're without the assistance of these controlled substances yeah absolutely can't I depression but some of the antidepressants I take like have these crazy side effects like ever see on television the side effects for some of these pills or at the end of the commercial yeah there's like 14 minutes mm-hmm like for the side effects and they're scary some of them and literally one of the ones I'm taking one of the side effects the announcer goes some people have complained that their ears are bleeding oh man some people yeah oh really then he goes and then he goes if this happens call your doctor yeah like that's gonna slip my mind of my ears bleeding yeah oh you gotta make that call my ears are bleeding let me call should I call my doctor or the landscape what are you well tell me a little bit about your life you have the the Sports Ohio show right uh and are you dating anyone actually have a girlfriend gradually yeah most people get surprised when I say well I'm not surprised I think it's a nice thing yeah she's very nice but I had some I time that I spent on the dating website and the problem at those dating websites is they ask you questions and you have to be honest with them sure and if I'm honest with some of these questions there's no way I'm getting a date like on one of these websites one of the questions they ask what's the worst thing you've ever done now if I'm honest with that question I'm not getting a date I don't think like what's the worst thing you've ever done let me see one time I stole my mother's engagement ring to pay off a biker gang I owed money to what are you doing Friday night how about a movie yeah you want to go to Red Lobster did you uh I don't know how long you were in treatment right but uh did you did things in the cultural societal world come and go without you yeah well like it's big change in her but a couple years show businesses like this Twitter's big now you heard of this so I don't know I do I don't but you don't tweet now I don't have anything to say I don't do it either I got to be the only person in my generation who doesn't and it's just weird to have followers you know I remember like in the old days it was bad to have people following you right you didn't want that now people brag about how sure and if you're if you're gonna follow somebody if you're like only interesting important people should have followers you know not Tammy the receptionist at the tanning salon yeah oh yeah like like Jesus had followed uh-huh yeah and I think if Jesus were alive today I might follow him you know interesting guy yeah yeah son of God walked on water I'd like to see what his days like you know I'm with you but you know one of the Real Housewives of Orange County I just don't see it yeah this is weird but it's a good time to be a comedian with Twitter oh sure it is because you're a lot of these you make money a lot of these girls from reality show that never occurred to me they hire commedia it's a writer their tweets for yeah cuz I want to seem clever I do you know you write first well I got a call from my agent and he said suppose like as an example Kim Kardashian wanted you to write tweets for when you do it and I said yeah I need the money but then I started thinking you know my mind's not really what it used to be what if I screw up and accidentally tweet something about my life on her account well that would be great that would be fantastic you'd like I would love that well can you do that please I think now you're talking I think she'd fire me if she went to a Twitter page and saw something like you're at Kim Kardashian I just paid a hooker to shave my back I'm done I've done that you've done they I've done that there you go you know like you're at Kim Kardashian I just threw up a Snickers bar on the subway I think I don't think she'd take kindly to the who cares yeah say yes crore RT it's uh good to have you back RT yeah this is a NIC and RT show - you know anything about sports uh yeah I'm a sports fan especially from gambling yeah well okay you don't gamble you can't get my god I'll gamble I can't do anything anymore do you okay well I think the Jets fans you know are really gonna have an easy time identifying with their youth with their new superstar Plaxico Burress because i think right now most jet fans want to shoot themselves is something Kim Kardashian tweeted you can listen to the Nick and Artie show at Nick and rt.com here he is Artie Lange good to see you good ready

Channel: kickintheribs

Views: 379,036

Rating: 4.716198 out of 5

Keywords: artie lange, letterman, howard stern, bro, pelican, face

Id: pk3_NF7JxB4

Length: 11min 46sec (706 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 14 2011

Reddit Comments

[u/starky411]

If i hear "meth is a good thing to do if you want to walk to st. louis" joke once more....

[u/rbkfour]

I'm an Artie fan all the way, but felt terrible watching this appearance. I don't know exactly what to expect from him, honestly. But this isn't it. Someone that's been through what he has been through can't just go back to his old self and same style of jokes in my opinion. He's been through so much but his "schtick" hasn't evolved. He's smart and should take his comedy with him in a different kind of direction, sorry not really sure how to express this.

[u/ReesesForBreakfast]

No mention of The Howard Stern Show

[u/DrAnhero]

He looks very nervous. For a moment I was worried that he was going to have a panic attack.

[u/supercontra]

Not a bad appearance. He started out with a couple of jokes he's told on Joe Matarese and Marc Maron, but there's also some new material.

[u/soleblazer]

Wow, he was shaking his head alot.

[u/rvweber]

I thought he did good. I hope he stays on the wagon and doesn't die. Go Artie!!!

[u/Smellmopwho]

It seems that the anti depressant side effect he suffers from is dry mouth. I thought he was ok, I'm really glad he's getting healthy!

[u/NExusRush]

it felt good to see and hear Artie again after listening to him for so long on the Stern Show.. but he looked nervous and his lip was quivering when he talked to Dave, but I don't blame the guy when the first thing you talk about it your Drug addiction/ Treatment. I hope he continues to get himself together and we see more Artie soon