I'm Pear and this is my co-host Orange. - I'm also his best friend. - False. - One of this closest friends? - Nope. - His imaginary friend? - If only. Today we'll be reading one
my all-time favorite stories, Beauty and the Beast. Orange, do you promise
not to ruin the story? - I never do. - You always do. - I enhance the stories. I give 'em a little extra juice (laughs). - Fortunately, this is one of the greatest stories of all time, so we
probably won't need much juice. Now then, once upon a time, there was a prince who was
beautiful on the outside but ugly on this inside. - [Orange] Yeah, cause he was actually a lizard person in disguise! Ha ha! - [Pear] That's not what I mean, Orange. I mean, the prince was a
really mean, rude person. And that's why he and his entire castle were put under a spell and turned into things like candlesticks and clocks. - [Orange] And food? Ooh, were any of them turned into food? - [Pear] Maybe. I guess I don't really know what happened to every last member of the staff. - Oh my gosh, Pear! Do you think we're under a spell? Do you think we're actually royal people who got turned into food? - No.
- That would explain so much! - No, it wouldn't. - [Orange] I'm thinking I
was probably the court jester and that's why I'm so funny. Oh, if the jester was actually
a lizard person in disguise, that would explain why I can
touch my tongue to my eye! (Orange laughing)
- Orange! Stop. I will not allow this to become canon. Can we get back to the story, please? - I guess. I think people lick my story
better, though (laughs). - Ahh! Anyway, everyone was cursed to remain in their non-human forms forever, unless-- - What do you mean I'm
gonna be this way forever? I'm not gonna get my human stuff back? My arms, my legs? My social security number? - Orange! For the last time, we were never people! You are not a character in this story. - Oh, right. 'Cause they're actually lizard people. - They are not lizard people! This is just a story. - Hmm, maybe we should
just jump to the end. - Fine by me. I can't wait to get this
trainwreck over with. - [Orange] So about the ending,
spoiler alert, everyone! Turns out the beast was
the beauty all along, and Beauty was actually the beast. - What?
- Yep! The moral of the story is
that it's a twist ending. - That is not how it ends. The beast was not the beauty all along. - Oh, right, 'cause he was
lizard person all along. - He was not a lizard person! - Of course he was. Think about it Pear. Why do you think they
call it a fairy tail, huh? Because lizards! It's 'cause they're all lizards. Pear, open your eyes! - No.
- Aww, come on. Open you eyes wide and try and touch them with your forked lizard tongue (chuckles)! - And we're officially off
the rails in record time. Congrats, Orange, you did it again. You ruined another classic story. - [Orange] You think Disney will make my lizard version into a movie next? - [Pear] I think it'll be more likely that Disney will sue you for ruining one of the greatest stories ever told. - Nah, they wouldn't do that, would they? That would be so cold-blooded (laughs). Get it? 'Cause lizards are cold-blooded? - [Pear] Ugh, we are so done here. - Watch me touch my tongue to my eyeball! - [Pear] Ahh! - Ah, it's stuck! It's stuck, it's stuck in the book! Help! Ahh! (fun upbeat music)
