♪ He's Orange, he has a lot of friends ♪ ♪ They live together on a fruit stand ♪ ♪ They have adventures all across the land ♪ ♪ And even play in a rock and roll band ♪ ♪ He's Orange, Annoying Orange ♪ ♪ He's Orange, Annoying Orange ♪ (Orange laughs) ORANGE: ♪ Infinite bottles of pop on the wall ♪ ♪ Infinite bottles of pop... ♪ (thunder crashes) I hope you have your seatbelts on, guys! (all screaming) Whoa! Well, I said I'd get us to Professor Plum's dinner party. Mission accomplished... I guess. - This is Orange's fault.
- Me?! You distracted Nerville with that rousing rendition of "Infinite Bottles of Pop On the Wall." That reminds me-- I never finished. ♪ Infinite bottles of pop on the wall ♪ ♪ Infinite bottles of... ♪ ALL: Shut up! Why is everyone saying "pop"? It's called "soda," people. No, it's called pop. Soda. If we're gonna talk distracting, Marshmallow was dancing on the control panel before we went down. Who's brilliant idea was it to give Marshmallow soda? He's already made of sugar, you guys. BOTH: Soda-soda-soda-soda-soda-soda- Soda-soda-soda-soda-soda-soda! Enough! Arguing isn't gonna get us anywhere. Nerville, how long will it take to fix the cart? Uh... couple hours. Maybe longer. (thunder rumbles) Maybe a lot, lot longer Huh? I'm gonna sit back and see what I can do from here. You guys go on ahead. Tell Professor Plum I said, "Dandelion rainbow." He'll know what I mean. (thunder crashes) MIDGET APPLE: To think, Professor Plum lives in this big mansion all by himself. It just seems bigger to you 'cause... No need to finish that joke. I see where it's going. What's Professor Plum a professor of, by the way? Theatrical design. But he's going for his master's in costuming. His parents must be so proud. Oh, they are! (deep laugh) (thunder crashes) Come in, come in. (whispers): What's he laughing at? Your guess is as good as mine. Soda-soda-soda-soda-soda-soda, soda-soda-soda-soda-soda-soda! Marshmallow, try to keep it together, would ya? (giggles) Professor Plum, your decor is... (chuckles nervously) h-how should I put this...? To die for? That's one way to put it. Whoa! What is it, my fruity friend? Nothing, I guess. (laughs) (thunder crashes, electricity crackling) Nobody move! You might accidentally bump into... Oops! ...the meat cleaver display. (blade rings, thuds, thunder crashes) (woman screams) Okay, guys, not cool. Who even has a meat cleaver display in the first place? (laughing) Why is he laughing? I don't know. Just go with it. (all laugh) (thunder crashes) Mmm! Dinner smells delicious. It's wonderful to have company. I do hope you like fruit salad. Wh-Wh-What? Fruit salad? Uh, as a fruit, I'm kinda sorta on a strict no-fruit diet. It better not have tangerines, buddy. My cousin is a tangerine... (thunder crashes, electricity crackling) Who turned out the lights?! It's the power again, Grandpa Lemon. Wh-What? PASSION: Hey, where's Apple? Strange. It appears he cut out of dinner. Oh, well, bon appetit. (fruits screaming) (Plum laughing) (all screaming) Quick, into the Statue Room. (shrieks) Relax, it's just a statue. A normal statue of a green bean. Oh, goody. (Grapefruit gasps) Guys, can we stop getting scared by the statues? The sign literally said, "Statue Room." Uh, these aren't statues, you guys. They're real foods that have been stuffed. Wait. How did professor Plum stuff real foods? Because he's a serial killer! - That's ridiculous.
- Is it? (all scream) GRANDPA LEMON: Who turned out the lights? Eh, we're not going over this again, Grandpa Lemon. (Plum screams) ORANGE: That sounded like Professor Plum. Stay here. It might be a trap. Or he might be in trouble. I'm checking it out. I found Professor Plum. Well, some of him, anyway. Professor Plum is dead? That's the pits. (laughs) But wait, if Professor Plum isn't the killer... That means it's one of us! Wait a minute! I don't remember seeing Marshmallow in the Statue Room with us. Hooray! Um, she's accusing you of murder. Oh! Full disclosure: I never really know what's going on. You're quick to accuse, Passion. Just like you were quick to find Professor Plum's body. I'll bet it was Orange. He tried to kill Apple with that meat cleaver. It was an accident. Leave Orange alone. We all know Marshmallow's unstable when he's had sugar. Unstable-unstable-unstable, unstable! You know, Grandpa Lemon is being uncharacteristically quiet. (snoring) Well, Orange and I don't trust you guys. - We're going this way.
- We are? Well, we're going this way. And I'm going it alone 'cause I'm a man. We can hide in here. It's kind of dark, don't you think? Think of it as romantic. (1920's pop plays) See? Even the music is romantic. Hm. How do I turn it off? Oh, it's all right. Just leave it on. I can barely see. I'll let some moonlight in. Oh, Orange, it's breathtaking, don't you think? I guess so, yeah. This the least bit romantic to you? (ghostly breath) Whoa! Guess that's "snuff" of that. (laughs) Let's try and find some matches. Passion? Passion?! (blade hacking, fruit squishing, screaming) What is going on?! Grapefruit's been spooned! Oh, he shouldn't have gone it alone. Who could have done this? Passion, where were you? It was dark, so I went to find a flashlight. See? Oh, okay. Maybe it was Grandpa Lemon. It couldn't be Grandpa Lemon. - Why not?
- Because he's right there. (snoring, all scream) Somebody juiced him! Wait, are we sure he's dead? (all scream) ORANGE: Oh! Yep, pretty sure. And where have you been, Pear? Oh, uh, I got distracted by a butterfly, and, uh... A butterfly? Really? That's the best you could come up with? Oh! I love butterflies. Grab that murderous Pear! (thunder crashes, electricity crackling) I swear, this power has the worst sense of timing. Which way did Pear go? What's that next to Grapefruit? Is that a footprint? No, it's a fruitprint. And not just any fruitprint, it's a tiny fruitprint. Hey, where's Midget Apple? Ew! Watch out, guys. I just rolled through a little puddle. - Puddle of what?
- I don't know. But it smells like... (sniffs) applesauce! Midget Apple's still barely alive. Hey, that's Little Apple. Who did this to you, Midget Apple? Was it Pear? The-The murderer is... (all scream) Seriously? I mean, we're indoors. We need to find Pear quick. Um, Orange... No! Not Pear! It's caramel dip. Well, at least he died delicious. Wait. We're the only ones left. The murderer has to be one of us. What now? I guess we all stay right here until the murderer forks over a confession. (laughs) (Marshmallow laughs deeply) (high voice): Oh! Caramel plus pop was not a wise move. Whoa! I know who the killer is. - Is it Marshmallow?
- Is it Passion? Double no. (giggling turns to deep laugh) Professor Plum! It was you?! My plan was brilliant, perfectly executed. How did you know it was me? Well, I'll tell you. Excuse me. I noticed something afoot when Marshmallow tasted the sugary caramel dip and he didn't get all sugar-sugar-sugar-sugar-sugar. Plus his familiar laugh suddenly sounded a lot like someone else's familiar laugh. (deep laugh) Besides, he wouldn't say "pop." Marshmallow-- as we all know-- is firmly in the soda camp. Soda-soda-soda-soda-soda- soda-soda-soda-soda! But I faked my own death. You discovered a pit and everything. Ah, that was no plum pit. But as we saw in the Statue Room, you do have a peach pit laying around. But my disguise... it was uncanny! Yes, an amateur's costume would have a telltale zipper or seam, but not one sewn by a professor pursuing his master's in costuming. (groans) Done in by my own proficiency with a needle. Curses! But wait-- if it was just a disguise, where's the real Marshmallow? Yay! I wandered off after a butterfly, and then made friends with a dewdrop. ALL: Yay! No! You've discovered that all the murders were actually just special effects. But in my defense, how else is a professor of theatrical design supposed to hone his craft? But where's Apple? Oh, his wasn't a special effect. What? You see... I invited you all here tonight to unwittingly be part of my thesis presentation, but now that you've uncovered everything, I'll never become Dr. Plum. Sorry. Sounds like you're "plum" out of luck. (laughs) (growls) You solved the mystery, Orange. Hooray for me! Hooray for everything! (screams) (laughs) Good news, guys. I fixed the cart. Bad news is I'm still a terrible pilot. But I still have one question. You deduced the murderer wasn't Marshmallow, but how did you know it wasn't me? Aw, it's easy. You're the nicest person I know. Of course it wasn't you. This fire makes for some romantic lighting, don't you think? I wrote you a song. Really? I'd love to hear it. Great. (clears throat) ♪ Infinite bottles of pop on the wall ♪ ♪ Infinite bottles of pop ♪ ♪ You take one down, pass it around ♪ ♪ Infinite bottles of pop on the wall. ♪ (laughs) (thunder crashes) Scene 7 Alpha, take 37-- mark. Action! Somebody order a unicorn? (fruits laugh) Cut! Guys, come on! Get it together. Take 362, mark. (fruits laugh) Yeah, real funny, guys. Take 619, mark. Cut! Guys! Take nine-- Aw, forget it! Cut! Oh, hey, how's it going, Cuddles?
