Animals that Got the Middle Finger from Evolution

evolution is a name emily that's it that's the whole intro don't get me wrong the concept of evolution is pretty cool it's the reason giraffes gets a flexed or high in the entire animal kingdom but there are just times where nature and evolution decide to team up and absolutely hoe an animal's entire existence so here are 10 animals that i personally think got done the dirtiest it's not exactly an order but obviously some animals are going to get violated more flagrantly than others and i say that because if this lists were actually in order the octopus would probably meddle at the oppression olympics 4. well let me explain octopus are highly intelligent and scientists believe they have the same cognitive ability as a two-year-old human which might not seem impressive but that means octopus are on the same iq level as some dogs they're even smart enough to use tools whether it's using the tentacles of the venomous man of war as a weapon which they actually do or carrying a coconut around to keep as a travel size panic room but being smart is the only thing they have going for them first of all most octopus come into the world as orphans the mother octopus will spend months guarding and watching her nursery of up to 50 000 eggs since it's too dangerous to leave them alone since there's no daycare underwater she often won't eat the entire time which means once the clutch of eggs are finally ready to hatch the mother is shriveling starving and ready to become initials on a twitter bio struggle doesn't end there in fact that's when it starts these babies the size of a grain of rice have to figure out life in an ocean full of animals that'll actually try to put an end to it it's so bad that out of the 50 000 children if more than two survive to adulthood it's considered overachieving that honestly wouldn't be a big deal if nature didn't already nerf them with their lifespan it's so ridiculously short that a majority of octopus species that live life to the fullest still won't be alive for their first birthday being an octopus means you can be born on new year's have a midlife crisis by june only to be a memory by october giving an animal high intelligence just to cut its life after one to two years just seems like an intentional dick move and because they have no shell or no armor they'd honestly be lucky to live that long having no real way to defend themselves means a good number of them end up a sea lion's chew toy or a dolphins frisbee to be fair octopus do have camouflage in some cases highly toxic venom but for the most part they get bodied by most of the ocean to add insult to injury every octopus you see is probably a virgin because once they get laid they die we already saw what happens to the mother but where did daddy at once the male octopus mates he basically just gives up on life the male octopus that's catching his v card will swim around catatonically until he either gets torn apart by predators or dies of starvation as his body falls apart due to senescence i like it really matters because most female octopus are bigger than the males and sometimes they'll attack and cannibalize him during but one thing's for sure if his date doesn't put him out of commission his post not clarity will octopus don't live long but for the monks they're alive their entire existence is a jihad now you know why squidward couldn't give up if it paid him at least with the octopus it just seems to be really bad luck they may be a victim of circumstance but at least you get the idea that nature didn't go out of its way to screw them not like with this bird kiwi bird is probably the best proof that evolution ain't perfect this tiny bird is actually part of the rat type family and this cookout includes ostriches emus cassorys and the ria but unlike his bigger cousins this bird that shares its name with a fruit is about 18 inches tall and no more than seven pounds it's kind of like having cousins six three six four and six six yet you came out looking like tory lanez like your family's tall enough to fit in in an nba locker room yet you get it from a chair and stay the same height but of course nature wasn't done screwing with this bird because like its relatives they can't fly totally flightless and despite being related to ostriches a jurassic reject and a bird that literally won a war against australia kiwi's about as defenseless as the fruit that got named after it basically you're looking at a bird that can't bird the kiwi is such lightwork that they can only survive on islands without any mammalian predators because they're really a couple stray cats away from being put in the history books and somehow that's not it cause nature shrunk everything about this bird everything except the eggs they have to push out of their body despite being about 60 times smaller kiwis have to deal with eggs nearly the same size as an ostriches and at 20 percent of its body weight that would be like the average woman birthing a 35 pound baby with the same equipment it's such a hell to live that the egg actually rearranges the bird's organs and stretches its rib cage there's too many things wrong with them for me not to think nature had serious beef with this bird especially when you realize the kiwi's closest ancestor was the elephant bird which was about 10 feet 1 600 pounds so yeah they got nerfed bad at least they didn't get hit as hard as say the sloth for being completely honest here the sloth has almost nothing going for it because they insisted on eating nothing but leaves their diet makes them one of the slowest animals on the planet because they physically can't afford to spend energy they don't have because going into debt would mean death it's to the point where baby sloths have to quite literally hold on for dear life because if it falls to the jungle floor the mother likely won't waste the energy trying to get it back and that's cause if you're a sloth leaving this tree is the most dangerous thing you'll ever do sloths only poop about once a week and when they do they'll climb out of the tree and get on the ground to do it why they don't just drop a deuce from the trees i couldn't tell you nobody knows what goes on in their heads but this means about half of all sloth deaths involve getting clapped on the toilet like elvis one thing sloths have going for them is that they're so mind-numbingly slow that algae actually grows on them giving them free camouflage there's a catch there is always a catch when one of your biggest ops is an eagle with quite literally some of the best eyes in the world wearing a moss blanket isn't going to amount to too much and you know evolution was actively with them because sloths are actually really good swimmers and can hold their breath for 40 minutes longer than dolphins and seals but it means almost nothing when most of the time they go swimming is by accident when they fall out of a tree and that weak ass doggy paddle might save them from drowning but it won't save them from getting murked by an anaconda or a black caiman but the really sad part is sloths could actually be way better than this it's close relatives the armadillo and anion are able to put the same claws that it has to good use and anteaters have even been known to swing on jaguars you have a homicidal vacuum cleaner that has put jaguars and people in coffins and then you have a moss blanket with a face just like the kiwi the sloth used to be better than this megatherium aka the giant ground sloth was in the same weight class as elephants and they actually knew how to use those claws so much so that if i says were realistics it would have worn diego's ass like a fur coat but its massive size ended up screwing it in the end as they basically got hunted into oblivion by humans leaving us now with the virtually defenseless dead-eyed slower than molasses algae apartment that we call the sloth know that thing on tv where it's like someone gets a genie that grants wishes but only does so in a way that horribly bends them over in the end and the morals supposed to be careful what you wish for that basically sums up this next animal because it looks like it got finessed by a genie in one of the most disrespectful ways possible this is a fiddler crab male fiddlers have one giant bralette claw whose only purpose is to get a female's attention b crab shoes are made based on who has the biggest claw and therefore can pass the best jeans to her clutch of eggs the problem is that is literally the only thing this claw is good for because that claw is too big to pick up food the male fiddler crab can only feed himself with that smaller claw that massive claw is actually a disability that means the males either eat half the food or take twice as long as the females the only problem with that is that these crabs only eat during low tide and the longer the crab spends eating the more likely they are to end up as someone else's main dish in the evolutionary arms race for female validation the male failure crab is more likely to end up getting eaten by goals raccoons reptiles and sometimes even bigger crabs since the females enable this by being attracted to the bigger but less functional claws the fiddler is now trapped in a vicious cycle by preferring males with a trait that quite literally gets them put on a shirt the females indirectly screw the next generation gotta be careful what you wish for especially if you're this next animal because the peacock has the same problem on steroids we can all agree that the peacock is the biggest flexer in the animal kingdom and rightfully so and just like with the crab in basically every other aspect of life bigger is most certainly better the more colorful and eye-catching the better the peacock's chances at backing a pea head they'll even shimmy their tail feathers in a way that hypnotizes any female watching but like i said never make a deal with a genie because the good news is a peacock showing off will always be the center of attention bad news is sometimes that attention comes from a 700 pound assault weapon with stripes and because those tail feathers are so heavy not only can't the peacock see behind itself even if it does see death coming it takes them longer to get off the ground and out of the tiger's reach just like with the crab the peacock's biggest flex is often what gets it buried in a cruel twist from fate the peacocks that are safer from tigers are usually the ones that get less attention from females so by having a preference the peahens doomed their future children to a fate of ultimately ending up as a tiger's toothpick the peacock and fiddler both got handed massive l's from nature but at least you can see the thought process behind it having huge claws and fancy feathers attracts females so technically it does serve a purpose in comparison the luna moth got shafted for no reason at all to make a long story short adult luna moths don't have a mouth and therefore can't eat the only thing keeping them alive is the energy they store as caterpillars but once that runs out so does their time luna moss live for about a week just long enough to reproduce and doom their children to the same fate of a non-consensual hunger strike if you ask google why the lunar moth doesn't have a mouth it'll tell you because its only purpose is to mate which is really nature not giving a fraction of about them yeah that's cruel question is what could possibly be crueler well if you know what this is you probably have the answer this is a sea laos it's a member of the kaligooday family of copa pots which is basically just a bunch of small crustaceans but you probably noticed that for the peacocks and the crabs it was the guys getting the worst of it apparently nature believes in a weird form of equality because right now it's up for the girls the horror show starts when a male seals kidnaps a much smaller female and then forcibly drags her into what i can only describe as a crustacean sex dungeon where he can have up to 20 other victims also trapped it's at this moment where this movie loses its rating because the male will forcibly impregnate every last female in his borough and this often involves penetrating her abdomen don't worry it gets worse as her brood of children that she never asks for begin to grow they decide to start eating their way out eventually the mother's body splits open as her nursery of psychopaths rush out of her now mutilated husk of a corpse this might be one of the only times where the babies abort the mother doesn't even really get to give birth her children just bring her death you might be wondering why evolution would even give this nonsense the green light while the newborn sea lost are entering an ocean full of danger and having a full meal before they make it out on our own apparently increases their chance of survival and by cannibalizing their own mother it's basically a home-cooked meal somehow this isn't even the worst birth on this list that title belongs to hyena because straight up death is actually better than what they go through female hyenas involved a pseudo penis that's so similar to the real thing it's actually difficult to tell males and females apart this is actually a female only problem is it's not just for show they actually have to give birth to that thing and yes it's every bit as painful as you think and just to somehow make it even worse relative to the mother's size hyenas have to give birth to the largest cubs of any carnivore and they have to do it through a penis good amount of first-time mothers don't even survive this because the process involves rupturing and splitting open the pseudo to make it easier for the cub but the cubs don't get it easy either about 60 percent of hyena cups will suffocate on the way out and become past tense before technically even joining the present and you would think because this directly affects the mother and the cub that evolution would have patched this but apparently nature and lion king have something in common when it comes to doing hyenas dirty [Music] but if we're talking about an animal that got done dirty this picture kind of speaks for itself matter of fact this is probably going to be the thumbnail because this is nature at its grimiest a lot of y'all probably knew this animal is coming just from reading the title but for those of you that didn't that was the skull of the babarusa it's a wild pig found in indonesian islands like sulawesi if you already knew that it's probably because of those teeth those tusks penetrate out of its snout only to do a complete 180 and head right back towards his face the male babarussa can't wear down this hellish overbite or he doesn't lose them in a fight then the teeth will end up growing right back into his head penetrating the skull and ultimately piercing the brain but the worst part of it all is that by the time it gets clapped by its own dental plan the bob roots has probably already had children and therefore pass on its bullsh to its kids it's a lot like parkinson's okay hear me out the problem with parkinson's is that it usually develops late in life usually around the age of 60. and patients can have it for years without being diagnosed so by the time they do find out it's possible they could have already had kids and grandkids that they could have passed it off to see the problem right only good thing is that it's somewhat rare for a child to inherit parkinson's from their parents the babarusa not so lucky and as long as females find big tusks attractive and as long as the tusks only murk them after they've had babies this pig is going to be screwed eternally and evolution can't even stop it but when you talk about being sodomized by the fleshy phallus of nature you're probably talking about cheetahs if you watch tierzoo if you're watching this you probably do you've probably heard him say that cheetahs are f tier garbage that either need to be buffed or just vaulted out of their misery i love cheetahs i really do but out of every animal on this list evolution might have bodied the cheetah the hardest and for one simple reason cheetahs are really fast that is all they have cheetahs are a textbook example of why you should never dump all your evolution points in one skill because you'll just get bent over in every other aspect of life because they're built for speed and absolutely nothing else cheetahs often get bullied by other predators especially lions and hyenas and because shitas have to expend so much energy just to make a kill it forces them to rest right after which makes it really easy for other animals to step in and run their pockets but for real if you're a cat and a bird that literally only eats a dead is able to run you off you got a lot of problems worst part is cheetahs could easily avoid all of this lepers are also lightweight solitary hunters that occasionally get their food stolen but they're able to carry their kills up in trees where they can't get harassed by scavengers but in the evolutionary race for speed cheetahs evolve non-retractable claws to use as cleats to keep traction while running which is why cheetahs can't climb trees so they gotta get violated on the ground cheetahs are such pushovers that one hyena can successfully rob several cheaters right in their face and then dare them to do something about it cheetahs compromised everything for speed so now they get to speed run through life about 70 percent of cheetah cuz born in the wild will be six feet under before their first birthday just to add on to that because why the hell not thanks to genetic bottleneck a majority of the cheetah population is highly inbred what you're looking at is a cat that doesn't really know how to cat because instead of roaring like lions tigers and leopards the best this spot a doormat can do is chirp like a bird matter of fact if you youtube it real quick you'll find they make every sound that isn't a roar and that's how you know evolution went out of its way to them cheetahs have been around for about 3 million years and decided they were just gonna i am speed their way through life and because of that unless it's a hundred meter dash or a bird call contest this overgrown house cat loses every single time obviously there's a lot of good things about the cheetah but not nearly enough to justify the abuse they go through which is probably why a majority of cheetahs in captivity experience severe anxiety so bad that prevents them from mating and they need an emotional support dog which is cute don't get me wrong but it's another reason why cheetahs are dangerously close to being the pandas of cats and that's not something anyone wants to be and don't get it twisted i don't enjoy roasting cheetahs i actually really love them but if nature has favors this cheetos mascot isn't one of them and those are 10 animals that got the middle finger from evolution i'm not going to lie to you this video was loki a pain to make so if you liked the video and you'd like to support this channel my patreon is going to be in the description but please please don't give money if you can't afford it because honestly i don't need money i just wanted to cover my crippling wendy's addiction subscribing doesn't cost you anything so um think about it you

Channel: Casual Geographic

Views: 16,048,213

Keywords: Mndiaye_97 TikTok, Mndiaye_97 YouTube, Hood Nature, TikTok, Funny TikTok, Animal facts, Evolution

Id: s5p6vGuWqeQ

Length: 14min 22sec (862 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 23 2021