Andy Richter & the Bulletproof Set | TigerBelly 411

tigerbelly is going live ladies and gentlemen and we are on tour once again we did one show in La it was the most successful show I've ever done it's August 25th at the wingspier Opera House in Dallas Texas there were also going to be August 26th we're gonna be at the ACL Live at the Moody Theater in Austin Texas August 31st we're going to be at the Moore Theater Seattle Washington it's super fun we bring audience members up on stage it's just a real good family night it's a game show and we can't wait to see you you're gonna love it go to www.tigerbellylive.com yeah it's easy book [Laughter] s you look the same don't age huh you don't age at all you're like Highlander no no I do do you want to use that I look at it you hate or do you like it no no I I don't care it makes me feel like I'm professional now oh yeah if I hear myself through headphones it's not is irritating I was just here in my place out in the world you have a real like um 1950s like almost like a like uh well yeah it's the glasses I got all my hair cut off for the summer time did that hurt your feelings when I asked said that oh no no [ __ ] Sarah I am like I I have no like if I saw me I would think I probably won't like that guy no no he's two mid-50s too white too Midwestern looking yeah but you know I what am I gonna do well you kind of look like one of those like oppenheimer's yeah that's the uh Caucasian ah the good old days huh yeah man like Mad Men yes yeah yeah yeah that um yeah I don't it's it's these glasses too and I'm very limited these classes are like yeah yeah vice principal glasses like Ray-Ban frames no these are um uh mascot it's all Moscow I think they're great thank you no and they're fit you're in the right room because uh Asians have massive heads I don't I mean I'm not Asian I checked Europe that's are you sure you're not Asian I am from Europe oh I always know that guy has an Asian vibe to him when I got when I got to DNA testing it was funny because it was just like you know pick a country yeah a little you know and if you're a northern European country pick one oh yeah a little bit you're not mixed with anything then no I don't think so I mean you know how they but have you ever done those yeah yeah and you know how they're always changing yes what do you mean like they yeah over time they discover more but it's like ah you know um you know I'm like a less less than one percent Greek and then all of a sudden I'm not you know oh you know what I mean oh okay is over time it changes because I'll check back in and be like yeah what did it say and it's like huh I'm a lot more Swedish now than I used to be really I don't know yeah I don't know it's something how because they get more and more people's DNA right and they learn more but I don't know for example you are 10 Japanese does that hurt you so much I hate them they're they're your oppressors yeah they oppressed us for 50 years yeah yeah but um and I'm never gonna forget Pearl Harbor no um what what is that you're talking it was a sneak attack but my point is is that um yeah I mean could that be then that could change then you're becoming less Japanese through time so maybe five years from now if I check back yeah if I'm more I'm done you're done with it you just throw yourself off yeah I'll be yeah I'd rather be 10 Godzilla well that's Japanese Japanese yeah yeah that's pretty Japanese yeah is Hello Kitty Japanese I know it's uh Taiwanese oh yeah I'd say Japanese let's do it back what do you think EVA Air is a Taiwanese Airline and their airplanes have the Hello Kitty symbol on them oh no well that that I think is a licensing thing okay it's the Sanrio company which is Japanese yeah you're right but whoever came but it might have been because like used your Taiwanese correct that's Japan we did it yeah yeah no Taiwanese [ __ ] made that okay wow it's unkind wait have you been to the Taiwan airport it's everything Hello Kitty yeah yeah but I think that's sort of generally like that that Hello Kitty is all over Asia as far as thank you you know what I just found out because I know your [ __ ] on Filipinos a lot for like no I've never [ __ ] on Filipinos are you honor of your [ __ ] minds well Andy he shits on my paper [Laughter] sure why not I do I do private shows oh wow the butterfly oh how does that is that the only thing no also like Bali sound like butterfly knives there's a lot of things we have cool oh wait the yo-yo and butterfly knives are from the same guy not the same guy what an awesome guy where's the where's the biopia So Butterfly what's a butterfly knife funny song it's the one that flips this way it's like it's got two pieces of metal that cover the blade and then you unclip it and then it flips and it's like in the movies where they go flippity flippity flip with a knife and then end up they call that a switchblade no no a switchblade just pops up out of the side this is two metal bars that go over the blade and are hinged so that you flip up like why I need it I need a [ __ ] phone butterfly knife I can't so it's like but there's no handle then no the handle is those two pieces of metal when they flip off the blade they then you clip them back together oh when you flip them up yeah see two two and then they flip over the blade to cover it oh there it is closed and open right so the handle is the cover yes yes it's actually like why did you say that yeah Andy why didn't you say that yeah you're like there's two ways everyone else here did they're all just covering up for you two metal cynicals that go up like this and then I don't notice that they cover the blade flip around on a hinge and they become all right okay sorry would they be the handle in front of the blade no they're back behind the blade yeah and then we'll go back to butterfly knives I don't understand anyway um [Music] beautiful guys [Music] four three two welcome to an episode of tigerbelly I'm guy Bobby Lee and I'm the host of the show I just woke up maybe 20 minutes ago and I did 20 minutes ago and I haven't eaten breakfast and it was my first red ball over here today last night I had a show at this comedy story bombed so bad oh it's terrible what happened what I mean come on that material is Bulletproof it was let me see your name first and then I'll answer your [ __ ] question okay all right all right all right so anyway last night it was rough but anyway I woke up today and I got excited because we have a guest um and I don't like using you know there's some people say I hate the word sidekick but that's not how I view them you know I mean I think he was I don't care by the way I'm fine with it I hate it though oh okay and for you too I understand yeah I hate it for you I get it yeah and I I wouldn't say co-host okay he was a co-host of the Conan O'Brien show is that what he said that's what he said right yeah that's his name right the Conan yeah the Conan show no I worked with Greg Kinnear [Laughter] church is terrible I'm embarrassing with that event oh my god dude or he's like I'm Conan um so anyway he was on there so funny and um Conan's okay but um it was all right but I always when I watched the show I always just look forward to seeing him and um and I can't believe that he's here today and um Andy Richter give him a ride thank you thank you that was a lovely introduction butterfly butterfly knife yeah yeah what's up with that well those are those actually are real it's a really it's a cool design for a knife yeah yeah so so they did also what's the first thing yo-yo Duncan Duncan they can't be real it seems like I don't know yeah look up inventor this is like what a great idea for a podcast we just say stuff and then make someone figure out whether it's [ __ ] or not yeah it's like hula hoop which to me is very Americana I would think so right skateboards Americana to me yeah yo-yo same thing frisbees frisbee yeah frisbee yeah yeah Flores was a Filipino businessman and yo-yo maker who has been credited popularizing yoyos in the United States popularizing He patented an innovation to yo-yos that used a loop instead of a knot around the axle allowing for New Tricks such as the ability to sleep you know the little sleep yeah no so what he did was what here we go here we go he did what it is so basically the car was invented America but Asians made it better [Music] he saw a Craftsman in the Philippines make some type of toy that mimicked that looked like the yo-yo changed a couple things and made a patent right look right down while working as a Bellboy s red iCal about self-made millionaires who made his money by selling a ball attached to a rubber band he's a thief probably like paddle ball no but wait keep going oh here at this point he remembered the yo-yo previously known as the bandalore a game which has been played for hundreds of years in the Philippines bringing it all together Flora saw a good Market opportunity in the U.S and the ability to go into business for himself but still the bandalore was made in the Philippines so yes folk instrument yeah yeah yeah [Laughter] I see that I've seen everything probably based on some sort of like you know skull crushing device that cracks someone's skull yeah I see okay so I'm gonna give you that thank you that's great yeah yeah I hate it when they take back like remember for many years when they're like a black guy invented peanut butter yeah yeah is that what people said yeah yeah yeah but it turns out he oh he didn't I I think so I think it was Booker T Washington I believe I see no wasn't it that's what they say yeah but I think now it's like boy yeah I know it's like 23andMe it changes through time it goes more Swedish yeah oh look no he's black yeah he's like yeah that's definitely that's Marcellus Gilmore of Canada Panthers and peanut butter paste but who invented it oh wait wait John Harvey Kellogg the creator of Kellogg's no it's patented still it's patented yeah yeah but so what is just whoever who's pan I mean you does that have to be documented someone probably crushed peanuts the ancient Incas and the Aztecs oh so his those [ __ ] or anyway let's just give it to them yeah let's give it to him yeah yeah African-Americans yeah did you bomb at the company yeah I was just gonna let that go share with you I got my laugh and I moved on I gotcha I'll share with you okay all right all right so last night um so it was a Monday yeah oh yeah so Monday night and I get a call yeah you're up at 11 45. on a Monday right and I you know I try to get out you know how you try to get out I got my knee hurts or whatever you know I mean I have my the tires why are you say this like a set what you're saying it like a set like what do you mean oh like a stand-up yeah yeah because when I talk to uh people that book comedy shows I do it as if I'm doing right I mean right what is that all about you know why 11 30 you know but I show up and uh and the show hadn't even started uh you know so I couldn't even make it till 11 45. I know at my age you know we're the same age are we the same age I don't know yeah no I bet him oh this is a fun game I'm 56. you're older yeah see about 52 yeah the same but still 11 45. yeah it's crazy it's crazy and then I'd have to go to I should set an alarm to wake up and be there you know like go to bed and get yeah you know but it was sold out too in the main room right I show up and it's like everyone like Esther Whitney Cummings Andrew Santino we're all in the back and everyone did terrible oh wow yeah it was rough but I was like later in and then once I I put you know check this out a covert monster no so once you know they were honestly I was in my mind I was like you know what I want to be the guy yeah oh they're struggling but I'll crack the code I'm gonna Crack the Code yeah yeah I mean with energy yeah right and Charisma right right and I'm gonna bust through they didn't also I'm the only ethnic right right so I'm gonna give them that stuff sure you know what I mean that's what people yeah they're gonna love it right they're gonna love all that stuff right so I gotta go get my big hat so you know they call my name I come out you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah [Laughter] and they hated it oh boy because they they realized what I was doing eat pandering not only pandering they're like oh he's doing the ching chong oh no he's he thinks that that's going to be the way to our heart wow but we refuse and you know what because you tried we're gonna reject you more the audience collectively said that as a yeah right and two minutes in because it's so hot because the global warming and stuff right and I'm just like sweating my face is sweating right and I and you know when you get the light that means you have three more minutes yeah not last night that means good night bye bye bye bye yeah and then so funny I get off stage and Eric Griffin was next because how was it man I got oh my God it was so hard you got any you could see in his face yeah that I got it oh he's gonna be the guy oh that's great to watch him suffer it was so fun to see my friends suffer and he even was even worse right so because they're tired they're more tired at this point yeah but it's also they're more like you could tell by looking at audience they're more um they're edgier you know they're more like Gothic oh wow I think that's the wrong word I think they're more like you know um you know just more like they all look like gave a girl oh wow yeah yeah you know I mean that you know they all look like you know we're cool yeah yeah I mean we've seen it all yeah you know L.A sure some audiences I live here get out I do I don't know I want you to get out of town well how long you been here uh I've been here well in this stretch since 2001. what do you mean stretch era I mean because I lived here before that for like you know a year and then six months you know like in in chunks and so like but I've been a solid Los Angeles resident since 2001 yeah and um where were you before that New York City doing the Conan O'Brien Late Night with Conan O'Brien okay so yeah you were there for that so yeah because I started in Chicago and then kind of bit bopped back and forth uh from New York and L.A oh you're a Chicago guy yeah yeah Second City improv I never did Second City because uh when I was there it kind of had fallen into disrepair it was like whoa it was it was just it wasn't like the interesting place to be and and within a couple years actually uh Adam McKay whoa Adam McKay kind of turned it and and you know he got in there and was like because they were just kind of resting on their Laurels because a lot of the touring companies are just old like Nichols and may sketches you know or boom Chicago is that one uh no that's that's just another kind of Second City knockoff oh in Holland but uh but yeah it was it just was kind of it didn't see you were doing like old bits and then like a little bit of improv whereas there were other places that were doing all improv and more experimental it was more just more fun right challenging you know is IO from there too yeah that was where I started improv Olympics improv Olympic yeah yeah although they had yeah now it's IO because the [ __ ] Olympics yeah the actual Olympics what yes yeah got butt hurt yes and said you improv group in Chicago you can't say you're the Olympics which I mean I'm like what about all the [ __ ] every Olympic flame coffee shop I've ever been to yeah the street name Olympic Olympics or special Olympic no she they were also part of it oh they do oh my God I was like that's thievery yeah it's not even as good we're calling it pepsicola wait the Special Olympics is Pepsi Cola now I'm gonna try that one too yeah yeah also they suit and then did they change it yeah she was improv Olympia for a long time and then it and then now it's just IO I don't I'm not like the I don't know exactly I do know but I do know that we had to stop being improv Olympic and I think it was like shortly after I moved out of Chicago that they had to change the Improv Olympia wall and then Olympia Dukakis sued the [ __ ] whoa [ __ ] you [ __ ] you yeah yeah yeah yeah hi Jimmy Conan I met Conan because I became one of my friends from Chicago improv friends actually two of them got on SNL one year uh Melanie Hutzel and Beth Cahill and um where I was in New York doing the real live Brady Bunch which was a show that we did in Chicago reenactments of Brady bunches I was Mike Brady I was the dad oh wow yeah spitting image no I listen it was ridiculous I was like yeah buy me we did we'd done the show in Chicago it was very popular you know like a rent payer for the for the theater and then it was moving to New York and we were at the Village Gate there and the guy that was playing Mike Brady uh wasn't going to go because he had uh you know like obligations obligations in Chicago so I was like hey I'll go and so it was you know a 19 wig later I was honey I'm homing all over all over the village was it popular um it was really popular like it ran in New York I mean it's it's a very silly dumb idea but it was the first one of those blank on stage or blank live you know like you know like I know they had like uh Point Break Out Here for years right that's why um and it was the first one of those wow when you're getting your first movies yeah and you're young yeah because I remember those days too yeah like anything's possible yep and I just that feeling remember that feeling getting a job getting a job I mean still getting a job is great sweet you know yeah yeah um but that feeling especially and like you say especially early on when you don't know if you can do this yeah and you think like I actually might suck you know and I mean because I think I still think like I I kind of think I might suck you know there are days when I don't feel so great about myself yeah so to have that to be like holy [ __ ] you know I'm here my first my first part in a movie was one scene in a in a cable movie remember that woman in Texas that hired a hit man to kill her teenage daughter's cheerleading rival and her mother classic store yeah that's one of my favorite murderers there were like two or three main for TV movies about it and I was in one called the allegedly true Adventures of the Texas cheerleader murdering mom which was pretty legit Holly Hunter Holly Hunter starred in it whoa and she's [ __ ] phenomenal in it look it up and see and Michael Ritchie there's a famous old 70s movie called smile it's about beauty pageants and it's you're like a big old cult hit and he was he's an old-time 70s uh director he directed it and he did a lot so it was really cool so I was in yeah that's it wow awesome my first scene was with Beau Bridges and Swoozie Curts at some like grade school out in the valley that they turned into a sheriff's office wow and I you know I was like at home with my girlfriend and gotten my little pickup truck my Toyota pickup truck and drove I felt like I won a contest yeah yeah I also remember the first scene yeah like you you go from the trailer yes right to the set that nerve I don't know about you oh I have no idea what yeah and I went to film school you know like I've made a ton of movies I've been on a ton of sets with commercials because I was a production assistant yeah but I still don't really know I don't know how they make TV shows you know you're walking there someone's bringing you there yeah and you're like I don't know my lines anymore well I was I played like a and well I remember when I got cast yeah Michael Ritchie when I came in he's like yeah because it was a quick Montage of three different Deputy sheriffs giving because Beau Bridges plays the supposed Hitman who's her ex-brother-in-law or something like that and he's kind of a loser and he records her trying to hire him to murder this woman and nobody at the Sheriff's Office wants to hear it uh so it's a quick cut of three different Sheriff's Office going like yeah I got the tape thanks click you know and yeah and so I was um the youngest one and all right the director was like oh yeah a younger guy that's a good idea yeah and then I read he's like great you got the part I was like oh that was [ __ ] easy like really like really oh okay so I went to a table read sat next to Holly Hunter who could not have been like more sweet and wonderful and because I was thrilled to meet her because she's you know has she done it's so good has she done raising it was Arizona already yeah yeah oh wow absolutely yeah okay and um and so she's just very friendly which was very exciting reminded me a lot of Amy Sedaris yeah because Amy's if Amy's a friend of mine and so I just I just really liked her and then so I showed up I got all my gear my you know Sheriff's gear on and then a prop guy gives me a rubber gun and a holster and gives me a hole like memorized speech about this is this weapon is not a real weapon it's in the you know it's a replica weapon yeah but still if you are caught playing with it pointing it uh handling it in any way other than directed on camera on script you will be ejected from it I will make sure you will go home yeah I'm like all right I won't touch the rubber gun dude yeah and I'm gonna go sit at a picnic table outside with other with other sheriffs you know like like extras and stuff yeah yeah and I'm sitting there and I'm chatting with the guys you know I'm I'm kind of you know trying not to be like it's my first day um yeah yeah and and Holly Hunter walks by going into the to the uh set and she walks by and she sees me and she goes oh hey there you how are you you coming to play with us and it was like you know magic boner sound effects [Laughter] in this these other sheriff's guys in the at the table are like whoa wow wow so then I went in and I did nice scene with uh Beau Bridges and Swoozie Curts oh well amazing and then and I had and like when they they shot down first obviously you know they shot their side yeah yeah you know because they shoot you shoot you know you move for people that don't know you move with the camera and you start with one actor and then you you move to the other side so both actors end up off camera saying lines for each other right so uh they did some actors don't do it some don't Al Pacino probably doesn't do it yeah I wouldn't be Robert De Niro but then there are other people really big people that you are surprisingly you're like pleasantly surprised how cool they are about yeah you know they could be done I've worked for people they could be done for the day but they're like no no I'll stick around I'll do your side too yeah um I got in trouble once because I was Jenna Fisher's opposite yeah I was off camera and she screamed at me because while she was doing it because I only had two words yeah right so I just kind of knew it yeah yeah while she was doing it I was like on Instagram oh boy right and she's like hey hey I just say yep yeah man and you go do it right no I need lock eyes right all right oh my bad and then I like I remember like for weeks apologizing yeah yeah is that rude uh I wouldn't do it I think for those yeah I wouldn't be on my phone while I'm doing off camera even if you do the lines memorize memorize uh yeah I don't think I would if I could see him now would you do anything would you have been mad if I did it to you no I wouldn't I wouldn't let it stop I would have kept going you know yeah yeah I would have been like what a [ __ ] [ __ ] dick No I um no I I don't think I would do that but then again it also depends on you know your familiarity with the person and if you're off camera and you they can't see you nothing's stopping you from looking at your Instagram down low you know what I mean like if you're behind the camera sometimes sometimes are you just saying the lines so they can hear them no she could see me yeah it wasn't good yeah unprofessional yeah yeah yeah so how did you be coding oh oh sorry through my friend Beth Cahill who was on SNL right when I was in New York doing The Brady Bunch and then we just hung out a little bit then when I was in LA uh doing The Brady Bunch he came out because he was working on the ill-fated Hans and Franz movie so that was his SNL he was you know wrote on SNL was a producer on SNL and that was his summer and we hung out a lot then Conan got the job Robert was his head writer executive producer reached out to me said which just is you know a show like that starts and then it's like who's out there doesn't have a job that's funny and I was one of those people and I submitted some stuff and got and I was the first writer hired on the show and but Conan and I met at Junior's Deli here and we figured out that we had actually been at a party at Bob odenkirk's house whoa because Bob and Conan did shows at SNL together and I had been on teams with Bob's improv teams with but then Bob's fiance so I knew Bob that way uh and I we've been at Bob's house with like 12 other people and just didn't register it you know and uh and we hit it off very very much at Juniors and uh he you know Robert and him both told me that he called Robert and said hire the guy and Robert was like let's see you know they hadn't seen me right you know I had a handstanding anything yeah yeah so he started as a writer yeah yeah I had that was another thing it's like so much stuff that gets thrown at you stuff that you you don't know how you know hey write a packet for a late night sketch show yeah like you know now I bet [ __ ] kids are reading articles on the internet about what to do and they're learning it probably in college yeah for me I was like oh gosh what would I like just I think it's almost better that you don't know much about it yeah yeah I think so too I think so too especially especially in comedy uh because you want a spark you want originality you want somebody that's that's thinking about what hasn't been done yeah yeah you know and also too anybody that's anybody that gets too big on and I found this when I came out here and started working on sitcoms and there's just a appreciable difference of like uh of just there's a lot more protective attitude towards people's careers out here where they're like much more careful where it was more just like have fun and [ __ ] around was always what we would do in late night me I like that too oh it's so good but then my [ __ ] around guys I get I got on in a writer's room on a sitcom and it's like a lot of stuff but like well slow down you gotta understand the structure yeah it's like yeah I've seen sitcoms I know how they work set up a bit and there's an a plot and a b plot and they're about 22 minutes long and then you fill them with Jokes which if you were better at you wouldn't worry so much about structure yeah like like for me and Mad TV I the night before I auditioned I got my agents my managers like listen they're not really seriously considering you but that's so good luck that's what she said because they're like they're looking for a white guy you know how back then they you know I mean right right but you know you could not get a white guy and I go well what is it and they go it's a sketch show and I go ah I don't know how to I don't I've never done yeah yeah I really barely know any of the Improv rules really or a stand-up right yeah yeah so I'm like I guess so that night I just kind of came up with six things yeah just you know I don't know if this is like what they do and I came in and I think that helped me in a weird way was the show already on I can't remember yeah I came in on the seventh season and had you been watching it no I've been I barely knew what it was yeah yeah I knew it was like SNL right but like I didn't know much about it yeah I mean and I because you were not home on whatever it was yeah probably that yeah and also yeah I mean just was it Saturday yeah it was Saturday nights yeah yeah and when I went in there they were like the catheter was kind of like oh no like not in confused almost like why are you here when we're looking for a White Guy it's like oh that's an interest ing way of doing it oh oh when you were finished when I was doing it like when I was actually doing my thing right do you remember yeah yeah I mean I get stuff like it wasn't the bits though but I would do stuff like leave the room yeah for a while and let her sit there for a second is he coming back and then running back in as a character just doing weird things you know what I mean yeah because they're like oh this is that sounds fun yeah yeah like weird you know man and it works so I I guess you know yeah not knowing sometimes does help yeah yeah but once you did Conan you did pilot first uh no I mean he had the job right you know and then and then it's sort of like you do I started in June I think and the show aired in September so we had a pretty you know good long time to ramp up and get stuff uh pre you know pre-tapes done and get some you know comedy written up and then um uh we had I think we did about 10 Test shows what'd you do right after that uh I came out here and I I got a a deal to do a a sitcom called Andy Richter controls the Universe on Fox and a guy named Victor Fresco uh he created it I kind of you know in talks with me um and and he I met with a bunch of people I was gonna do a sitcom I knew you know I knew the way it worked that when you came from when you were off the market for a while and you were on something legit that you're all of a sudden like I would see it so much with people like Rob cordray or Matt Walsh who were on the on the uh the uh a Daily Show yeah they were correspondents on The Daily Show then leaving The Daily Show and then it's like here's you know just deals getting thrown at them you know we love them so I know uh oh Matt's yeah he's he's yeah he's done he's another one that is a we were in did improv back together back in he said what a great guy he's so talented just the best yeah you just text each other filth uh like he just does he talk does he talk to you about bread too like yeast no no no he just texted me he loves you something like hey you stupid I'm picketing at Disney and telling everyone you're on the producer's side where the [ __ ] are you and I and I texted him back I said you know I got four ribs removed this weekend to facilitate better self-sucking video I'm in no shape to chance yeah so that's our we text each other I came up with that whole is that a myth that people did get their ribs removed well supposedly Salvador Dali did it and supposedly Marilyn Manson did I remember the Marilyn Manson yeah yeah but is it was it just like an urban legend I don't know I just I I'd like to get to the root of this I don't even know what the [ __ ] you're talking about black I mean is this something that you would do is like if you could get stuck bottom ribs removed and supposedly you can then you know get like get the flip your legs over your head and suck your own dick I'd have to get four removed [Laughter] you need an extra vertebrae to kind of because you need more oh that's true too you need to add you advert about it like from a snake yes yes yes yeah maybe you know from an oxtail oxtail yeah you can buy the whole rack at Costco yeah yeah oh yeah like osso buco yeah so you just pulling oxtail to the get the doctors off right right yeah I want this replaced put in whichever one yeah yeah it's up to you yeah um you could to suck your own dick yeah I don't want to suck my own dick I've never had that fantasy I don't think I yeah yeah I mean well the taste would be okay I think yeah I mean come on you've tasted your own [ __ ] [Laughter] yeah of course once a long yeah yeah once or twice maybe but it was a long time again I can't nine times you know the number every time yeah diary yeah yeah it happens again this is the last time you think you can make yourself come though what do you mean with your mouth I don't know I mean it doesn't hurt but it's up to you no not the [ __ ] part yeah that's the sucking part I'm gentle with the sucking part of annoying no it's annoying her you know it's the it's the Ben yeah the bending yeah yeah you got extra six oxtail implanted yeah I think I would have to get Triple locks What's that no one could walk yeah because you can't once that once you get caught doing that it's over but also in Showbiz term that's a retirement plan when everything else goes goes south you are the guy that can suck his own dick and you work you don't stop work you're all over you're you're only fans account yeah I wanted to start an only fans account called only hams where I get I I hear a feeder relationship like a feederism relationship what's a futurism well it's basically like you and me for instance right like I'm 135 pounds now but my goal is to be like 500 pounds and so you basically just feed me right and then we like cakes and stuff like but it's only hams yeah and you get me Snake River Farm hams and different kinds of hams from like different yeah I'm all these things I'm just like somebody jerks off today yeah yeah three people yeah I bet you more but that's like that oh that I mean I don't even know what it's called I just see it going through uh social media feeling that yum yum have you been on ChatterBait okay so I okay it's basically live feeds of basically anybody right yeah I found myself hitting the send token but button like a hundred times and this woman was just squirting her milk on screen and I was transfixed and I mean the amount of tokens I gave her and there were seven people in her room it was just me and six other people but I gave her a lot of money for her milk question questions can I ask a question yeah um with the breath with the breasts right do you have to be lactating like yeah give birth before that that machine yeah you can't do it now no I can't just squirt milk now is there milk in there eventually it has the potential to create milk yeah just put this milk you think there's dormant milk you're asking if there's dormant milk yeah or maybe like a batter or something or like some sort of powder [Laughter] the production gets uh kicked into with hormones that you get when you're pregnant all right I will say they're it I mean okay without I'm just saying there are in the world who have never had children who will be like you suck on that thing hard enough and milk will come out right for women who adopt children even yes whether you can use breastfeed but yeah like so I'm just saying it can happen okay good yeah yeah only milk though oh well what else do you want butter creme fraiche imagine if you're a baby yeah and you think you could get milk yeah but you get pure butter it's crazy how happy would you oh my God yeah fat would take over your eyes baby drinking nothing but butter yeah oh it's a baby it looks like you have two kids right uh yeah I have I have three now because I just got married in June to a woman that had a child and I'm oh cool so my she's now my stepdaughter but I'm gonna adopt her and she'll be my doctor how old was she when you met uh your fiance a year and a half she was a year and a half she was a year and a half old and she's three now wow also in her eyes your dad I'm daddy she calls me Daddy yeah oh and uh yeah so it's you know it's uh I have 22 17 and three wow that's amazing you were married before then I was yeah I was married for 25 years um I have a 22 year old son who's at USC studying art amazing got a semester left there and then my daughter will be a high school senior she's 17. wow she lives with her mom and then you were with over 20 married 25 years yeah you know her and I were together for ten were no longer wow right right you still have a relationship with her okay no I mean we're still working on it it's okay it's ups and downs right right I I we're like and there's just not a lot of communication outside of okay Logistics and things and I you know well it just it just like everything just giving it time yeah yeah yeah he's really worried that he will never fall in love again and I think that he's wrong like I think it can happen at any time yeah I feel like I'm not did you feel that or no like what after your marriage you think you will be able to find somebody or uh I mean it would vary you know like there are there were definitely times where I was like yeah you know I could I could live alone you know yeah yeah I could I and I'm not necessarily built for it because I do a lot better when there's other people around just in terms of getting stuff done because when I'm on my own I can do nothing yeah yeah yeah yeah for a long time I mean like I've been so we live together in this house yeah and she walked upstairs today and there's like a smell it's just it I cannot believe the state that this house is in I when I left it was speaking well my mom still comes to clean yeah what my mom is a caller yeah he calls my mom oh I'm in trouble it smells like [ __ ] but you only call her when he's bringing a date home ah what and that's what she doesn't like he's like he calls me last minute and I know it's because he's you know you either bringing a girl or whatever oh you're the only one but the house is just in a like disrepair yeah I mean everything I don't know who's chewing the walls I ate cereal out of a cat Bowl clean the other Bowl I couldn't do it but your walls are chewed in who's chewing the walls we don't I chew walls oh the dogs are with me no no wouldn't be the walls are true of like the molding there's like just it's just there's no mold that's the dates clawing to get out they're crawling along baseboards [Laughter] better down here it seems to ride the ride so you know there's a lock on the door but they wanted it it's for their protection uh so I was so it's about a year ago I was offered this thing that you did and I came close to doing it all right right right so I came close to doing it but I'm like I don't know it seems weird I don't know what it is and it just it turned out I said no this is the one they shot in Australia yeah it was the Marshal yeah yeah so they offered me it right and the mom was okay money was okay yeah um but I'm like I was I was told it was a survival show what's the premise from what I this is what my man you know Abby she just doesn't know how to describe things she's just like all right so they they made Australia into Mars I go oh the whole country I don't know large chunks of Australia already looks like well that's and then yeah and where they were had apparently doubled for Mars a number of times wow yeah like in various movies they go out there because it's like just [ __ ] dirt and it's red yeah and I mean for for as as far literally in an airplane flying over there as far as you can see there's nothing nothing but red Flat Earth wow yeah and then she goes you know and you're competing with other contestants yeah to survive celebs celebs right and I go ah I'll lose yeah you're blood younger yeah yeah I'll yeah I think you said that my blood sugar yeah yeah become hypoglycemic pretty fast yeah but then so what was the experience like well I mean they I came in later and I don't know whether that was they were they had already started oh shooting and then I got a call on a Monday all right Elara email on Monday morning when I woke up and it was like time sensitive and then Thursday night I was on a plane to to Australia wow um and it was and it was good money you know like and and my first two questions well I mean Beyond how much is the first one yeah and then the other the next one was who else is there and like I saw Natasha Leggero was there and so I was like okay yeah you know they and and then some of the other names I was like because it's like a lot of athletes and stuff and I was like okay they got good taste yeah yeah yeah okay and I talked and I you know somebody called me from there and I liked them and I was and I mean you know I was like oh sure I'll do it you know and I I wasn't I wasn't thrilled to be doing uh a reality show you know but what do I care I looked at it as I now my job now is to make television shows and I have hosted game shows you know I've done all kinds of different stuff and I'm like okay I'll I'll go be funny on this show yeah and then and the whole winning or losing deal I don't give a [ __ ] about any of that yeah I guess yeah um and also too I didn't have to because they didn't and this is the this is the fault of the show they didn't put any cash prize on winning no there's no incentive to win other than two weeks away from your family yeah yeah and you get a patch or something I don't know but here's my question though and I think this is the reason why I didn't do it is because because in my mind I'm like oh they're gonna be in the desert or somewhere yeah the combinations will be rough were they rough or not I mean you're sleeping in a dorm they they took over like a community center and they made it like us you know like a space station yeah you know uh Hab is what they called it it's like whatever you know Mars station yeah yeah uh and you're sleeping in a dorm with other people yeah yeah but the bad was it was a bit you know it was like you had basically like a sleeper birth you know like where the curtain that closed yeah um well then there was a microphone in it which when I found the microphone on like my second day there and I had never you know I farted in there but I never you know I'd never like you know had a secret phone call or anything in there and they never told you about the micro and it wasn't like particularly well hidden it was just like if you did look up in that corner while you're laying in bed you can see like oh there's a mic up there whoa like all clever I was I said to somebody else Lance Armstrong I'd say hey Lance just so you know there's Mike's in there and he goes like oh yeah I need points and it's just a bare wire hanging out of his he just like oh just yanked it off yeah so the bicyclists yeah yeah oh that's amazing I just watched that documentary on the Tour de France and I don't know why everyone wasn't blood doping like that should just still be allowed well that was his he said he he said yeah a little bit I mean that's kind of it's insane like they've been allowed to do all the steroids that's what I kind of feel like like with when all they were hitting all those home runs all those beefy roided guys I was like let them take them till they like grow an extra arm sure their hearts are gonna pop you know who cares yeah yeah wow so it was a pleasant experience then it was fun it was fun and I got into it and uh in fact I think the episode where I get kicked off was on last night yeah but but I did how do you get how do you get kicked off I I mean what are the rules I mean it's like every week There's a challenge oh there's like a vote there's like a vote like yeah there's there's they choose a mission commander and then a uh who's who can be sent home if the mission fails and then the mission Commander selects a I think was called like you know Mission specialist yeah and which is you're just your second in command and you guys stay back in this in the hab while everybody goes outside which they would film us like in our spacesuits going out the door like into the parking lot of of the community center where we were stationed and then drive 45 minutes out into the desert get into like a little fake set of the thing and then you know come out of the fake set yeah wow but there's a 45 minute drive in between and putting on all and hooking up all the the space suit [ __ ] which is most I'll come all cameras uh oh there's there's also I for the first two days especially like the first time my helmet was fogging up and I was like you know and whenever anything like that happens I'm always like way to go you fat [ __ ] you're like you know like just the the self-hate happens and me like upon sweating I'm like no one else is sweating Fatso way to go so I couldn't breathe in this helmet and it's like fogging up and I'm looking around at everybody else and there's this yeah and I'm like what the [ __ ] is that why am I like and then the first thing we had to kind of jog up a hill and I got to the top of the hill and started to get I felt like lightheaded but I didn't say anything and then the next day we shot for a little bit and it was the same thing then later I get in the helmet and we're about to shoot a whole big mission and one of the one of the talent exact or Talent you know like producer people it was like oh my God your helmet is all fogged up and I said yeah it's been like that and she goes like wasn't your fan on oh I was like fan there's a fan Andy I know I was breathing my own carbon dioxide you know I I but yeah so then some they come and they work on in fact I think they switched out packs ah and they put it on and the fan came on and I was like oh my God like yeah they were all complaining I was like because I'd worn it for two days without when it came on I was like this is a dream come true you people are crazy yeah you know I was just so happy to have the air moving through that could happen to me I was doing Borderlands yes I remember that you called me crying your head hurt yeah yeah so so it's a space movie yeah yeah right and I um you know there's hundreds and hundreds I'm a space Soldier sort of like a Storm Trooper yeah yeah and but they didn't do fittings I have a very big head for my you know I mean I think they just based it on my photo put a [ __ ] helmet on you and didn't do a fit oh oh my God like a space helmet so now we're in the desert right hundreds of us dress the same way as I am yeah yeah and they're trying to put the head thing on my head and they're just trying to jam it down it's not working he has a [ __ ] head you know what I mean I didn't say that I know but on the walkie yeah we got him on right and then so they were so desperate the Wardrobe just took the padding off because there's padding yeah yeah and then once they did the padding out they're like all right they stuck it in but in the helmet it's poking in your head there's metal also in the front right and it's like metal shards against my head like this right yeah yeah right and I couldn't see you're right and I I spent 12 hours like that yeah I remember FaceTiming yeah when you had all these random bruises and you're all swollen yeah it was yeah I never said anything yeah yeah normally in any other circumstance I'm like yeah I can't do this yeah I'm gonna die yeah but because it's a movie I'm like I'm gonna go through the pain right right it was [ __ ] that's weird that is weird though that it in a feature film that's got that level of effects and costuming that they wouldn't have a fitting I mean I make fittings for like a golf shirt yeah yeah I mean it's the body they did the body felt good yeah yeah they did the body fitting but I think the helmet they did was just an afterthought after thought maybe I am that same type though like when I get a really shitty massage and the pressure is too much I'll just withstand the suffering yeah yeah I can never say anything remember when um what was it I think it wasn't a haircut or was something where someone like plucked your mustache off and you just let it ride oh yeah that's like on set like someone ripped your mustache oh yeah so yeah well that what that was rude okay but you didn't say it at that time no at the time I didn't do it because normally so what happened was because you can't say that to Tom Cruise no I was on set somewhere and I was it was another mustache it was a nose hair and some ladies comes out and just Yanks it out of my nose and it hurts so bad no warning no warning right and we're like doesn't they go action it was like anger but it's also shut the [ __ ] up yes you don't want to be the guy that makes your eyes water too were you like crying because you know that's actually a trick to make yourself cry another king trick oh really yeah [ __ ] nose hair he's the Menthol oh do you yeah I've never had to I mean I've only had the comedy cry you know so I think I don't I think I've used they put the drops on my other drops yeah yeah yeah um but yeah and I've never had to like cry cry I don't know if I'd be able to do that I was on a movie and I saw Anna Faris do it yeah yeah and she was she was so believable yeah yeah so good yeah and with the blower yeah the blower there's it's a big hunk of Menthol that's kind of like you know that's like kind of almost like salt like rock salt and it's got a hole in the middle and the artist blows through it so the Menthol gets it's just like Menthol exhale straight into your eyeballs and it works really well it's probably not covered safe these days but it does it is like it's just like one of those like it's kind it's the kind of stuff that is a just an added bonus to having worked in Show Business like all these little details of all these little things and like [ __ ] wigs and mustaches I'm always just like yeah yeah you know yeah yeah you think you think that's like if somebody wins an Oscar after the Menthol thing yeah do you think that's do you think they should take that away she didn't have to say thank you to the Memphis can I just say this too um um you were amazing here today oh thank you so much and um it was a pleasure thank you it was fun to be here I'm being real and it was like good chemistry thanks you're so likable thank you thank you adding information I like talking to funny people so you know yeah it was fun and um welcome back anytime you want all right and um is there anything you want to plug um you cleaning this house [Laughter] um well I have a podcast called the three questions amazing uh that's on the Team Coco uh uh Network and I'm you're gonna be a guest on it I would love today and yeah your best friend was on it Ronda Rousey oh yeah Rondo yeah yeah I love her what's your beef with Ronda Rousey again I don't have a beef with her I know why people keep saying that I don't know yeah because yeah she she will beat you up she's I mean she won't really she actually yeah I love who was on she was on stars on Mars and I had well she was yeah she was on stars on Mars and I was um I knew her from because she'd been a guest on the Conan show Conan was the first show she was ever on when she was doing MMA because all of a sudden she was you know in the public Consciousness and and that so I'd met her and I liked her but I didn't really know much about her and then when I got there she was just she's like I called her human Prozac she's just like a super high energy and like and and you know would all for all like the the athletic people you know like lead them in workouts and then be like let's wrestle and all just super positive fun fun fun all the time yeah just fell in love with her she's been great yeah I've worked with her too and I love her okay yeah and don't ever do that again I mean I don't have a beef with Ronda Rousey I hope not you should have her on here you think she'll do this don't you have a beef with the rock so if you did amazing yeah no so anyway um Andy thank you so much give him a round of applause everybody that was funny yeah the three questions on Team Coco yes um and uh and it's a it's a it's you know it's like this uh you know you do it in an office or somewhere uh we uh Conan has a studio and uh you know I mean a lot of it's by Zoom but uh there's also uh in a studio there's my wedding picture right there oh she's beautiful dude thank you whoa you're all right my wife Jennifer yeah yeah no I'm fine I'm fine I can really let myself go now yeah wow I mean imagine if this is me like really keeping it tight now that I can let myself go I can finally stop putting such ridiculously high standards on my physicality you'll saw Tony on Hawk yeah he's the best he was he was he's done this too yeah I I was I was really surprised by him and that's my dog when I got her supposedly full-grown 54 pounds now she's 110. oh my God yeah yeah let's read it what's her mix she's a border collie Great Pyrenees and uh and that's her now oh German Shepherd but yeah she's a big snow dog she had big those big snowy Paws sleep in the bed with you or no no she's um her hips aren't good so it's hard for her to now to get up and down off of things uh and she's not that old she's only she's going on five um but she sleeps uh in the room and it's like a big black dog sleeping across whatever walkway in the dark oh wow yeah you really have to you know be careful yeah to get up and take a leak I take my phone just I don't turn the flashlight on I'm just kind of enough light so I know I don't step on her head or trip over her because she does lay in the she you know that our kitchen isn't that big and it's like um I think I'll take a nap here this seems to be where everyone is yeah you know yeah you could have been a stand-up oh thank you yeah yeah thank you I I um but you rhythmically though you're very stand-up eager with you I I may uh I I just I I came to the I tried you know and I would do different kind of things and I just came to the conclusion that I don't like doing it by myself ah you know I just think it's more fun to have another person it is fun yeah yeah and so I just I like I say I tried it I actually when I decided no more uh I was it was during the sketch Fest in uh San Francisco and there was a night at Cobbs of uh Conan writers who were stand-ups because we have you know some great stand-up comedians that worked for us for years and then stand-ups that had been on Conan and I was the emcee of the you know stand-ups from Conan night and I was supposed to do I don't know 10 at the top and like six minutes in I just was like you know I don't really like this and I just and that room though yeah is hard is it hard yeah you know how I never play Cobbs oh really I don't play it because every time I play there something devastating happens oh wow not only not only on stage but it's a big noisy room yes for sure even obviously that's where Ken Jung physically assaulted me over what oh my space there can only be one I mean yeah it was kind of really yeah yeah but he what yeah he basically assaulted that's their tour back there the Kim's a comedy yeah oh wow yeah and he he really swung his little arms it'll be really bad wow and then I've had other bombs there and I just you know maybe I should try to get much better now but I just that room yeah there's something about it it's not you I've done I've done shows there that were like game like a couple times I've been in like uh Jimmy Pardo does a match game love him yeah and and I've done that kind of thing there yeah yeah and it's been much more fun than being on stage alone yeah yeah but I was I decided I don't like this anymore and I was like okay well uh thanks yeah and I think it was a pardon and Cheryl it was the first up and she it was a bit of a scramble because I was like sorry yeah cut it short I decided I don't like this well stand up when you're losing you lose alone yes and I think that's suffering like last night what happened to me yeah I was up there but we all lost see that's so I always because what My Philosophy about doing comedy was you kind of have to not care and you know it's like you have to which is just means you have to kind of be fearless and try whatever and not get in not get in your thoughts about oh how am I coming off yeah you just have to kind of exist and be funny and live in it and if you're doing it by yourself it's way harder to when you're done go you know well I still had fun like no I didn't you know if I if I'm out there with two or three other people yeah oh we still had you know we tried and we were in it together but when it's by myself it's too hard for me to not care right right right right yeah I mean when you're doing like because I've done stuff with like Jordan peel some of these guys yeah and you're not if you're not on right you know they are gonna be yeah and they also know how to Lop it up for you yes exactly yeah yeah yeah definitely yeah anyway I love you thank you so much Bobby it was really and by bye bye everyone [Music] [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 165,975

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, podcast, khalyla, tgrbly, stand up, bad friends, comedy podcast, tigerbelly clips, bobby lee podcast, trash tuesday, bad friends podcast, bad friends clips, andy richter, the three questions, team coco, conan obrien, conan, conan o'brien needs a friend, conan o'brien, andy richter interview, andy richter 3 questions, 3 questions

Id: kd3AtuQBo68

Length: 66min 21sec (3981 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 10 2023