(calm music) - [Kiana] Somewhere in Dixon, Kentucky. - Amy, I ain't been your size since I was freaking twelve. - But think about it. You were hurting back then too, Tammy. - You don't have the same struggle I did. I wish I could get up
and do more for myself. Try being my size Amy. You don't know how it is. - There's stuff you can do. - [Tammy] I'm not saying that.
- You just don't want to do it. - You need to register
it in your damn head. (Tammy yells) - There was a little bit of tension that was raised when the
sisters began arguing about which one of them
was the most unhealthy, which is kind of an
unusual argument to have. The reality is they're
both really unhealthy and they both really need
to have weight loss surgery. - The Slaton sisters Amy and Tammy need to lose weight to qualify for gastric bypass
surgery with Dr. Procter. Amy succeeds at her goal and she is approved, but Tammy does not. There are a lot of reasons for this, but we'll be taking a look at some of the key differences between their attitudes, that played a role in
their success and failure. Attitude simply refers to your
general approach toward life. Certain attitudes promote goal attainment, general life satisfaction, and happiness. while other attitudes immobilize us and make it extremely difficult
to change our behavior. From the beginning of their journeys, the sisters show big
differences in attitude and it starts with where
they place their focus. Amy seems to be really excited about the opportunity TLC has given them to get weight loss surgery. She's enthusiastic, she's positive, and she does everything
with a great sense of humor. Amy seems to be looking forward to and focused on all the good things this journey is going to add to her life. - I am ready to start my life. I'm ready to have my baby. I'm ready just to be happy. - [Kiana] Tammy on the other
hand seems to be more focused on what she's about to
lose, namely unhealthy food. Throughout the show she's
constantly expressing loss related fears and doubts about the weight loss process. - So what do you think of these changes? - I think we're going to get
bored of it for a little while. - Food is a comfort,
it's like your friend. - So when you're on a diet it's like losing your best friend. - I'm a little worried about
meeting with a dietitian. When you're used to the
grease and the salt, healthy food is scary. - Motivation is at its peak,
pre weight loss journey, before any of the hard work has begun. This is when most people
are really excited about all the changes that are to come and they're dreaming of a brighter future. When we heard Amy speak to start, it was obvious that she was
looking forward to change, but Tammy doesn't really
share the same enthusiasm. For a 600 pound woman to be
expressing all these fears about healthy food or
giving up grease and salt, it kinda just shows
that her head was never in the game to begin with. It's not a great start. (laughs) This next clip shows the sisters talking about something as trivial
as giving up their diet pop. But listen to how differently
they feel about it. - How hard is it gonna be
for you to give up your soda? - Not really that hard, I guess. - I think it will be 'cause it's what you're used to grabbing. It's quick and easy. - Amy seems to be caught off guard, she's not thinking like that, whereas Tammy is just laser focused on the difficulty already. Tammy is very much focused on everything she's going to be giving up in this journey, and this next clip is a good example of that. - I predict that we're gonna
get some healthy options in the house, but Amy and
Michael are gonna slip away, and I'm nervous that Amy's gonna eat things she shouldn't be eating, but yet I'm stuck in the
house and I can't eat it. - This is Tammy pre-struggle,
pre-hard work, pre-cravings. This is where her head is at. She is afraid her sister is gonna go out and cheat on her diet,
and she can't cheat too. That's what she's afraid of right now. This is where Tammy's focus is at a time when her motivation and her enthusiasm should
be at an all time high. Making a change requires
some degree of loss, you have to give up something in order to get something better. Tammy's thoughts and emotions
are locked in on this loss, but locking in on that
is not gonna help you get to where you wanna be. Whereas Amy is dreaming
of a brighter future, she's excited, which
is how you should feel at the beginning of your
weight loss journey. The hard work has not begun. (laughs) The sisters display very different levels of effort towards their goal. When the sisters first meet
with the doctor and dietician they're asked to lose weight to qualify for weight loss surgery. - I need some buy-in from you guys. I need to understand
that you guys are all in and you're gonna make the
same kind of commitment, okay? So I'm gonna see some
weight loss from both of you by the time you come back. I want you back here in a month
to check on your progress. - We're ready to lose this weight. I know we joke around too
much, but we're really serious. I want you to know that. - In addition to losing weight, Dr. Procter asked Amy and Tammy to start living a healthier lifestyle by moving around more, finding a pool to get some regular exercise,
and eating healthier food. Amy does more than she's asked. She goes swimming before they
even go back to Kentucky, she signs up for a personal trainer, and she takes the doctors and dieticians recommendations very seriously. - This is the first meal after
we met with the dietician, I wanna get things right. - Amy takes a proactive
role in changing her life, and she accepts that
hard work and difficulty are part of the process. This clip does a good job
of showing how differently the sisters view and
approach this change process. - I'm just worried I'm going to be hungry. - Well, I ain't gonna lie to you. I mean, there are days that
you're going to be hungry. I mean, until your body
get used to eating it, you're gonna be hungry. - What I'm hearing here is
Amy acknowledges and accepts that there are gonna be hard parts and that if she wants to succeed she's gonna have to push through them. Tammy on the other hand seems to be saying she's
only willing to try until she feels uncomfortable. Tammy does the bare
minimum of what Dr. Procter and the dietician asked of her, if that. She sneaks cakes when
they're throwing away their unhealthy food in the kitchen. She's asked to move around more, yet sits in her chair to clean. She bends the rules by eating
12 mini-size bags of chips and claiming it's okay
because they're healthy chips. - You ate all these? - These are healthy chips,
they're low-calorie. - Yeah, but low calorie don't
mean no calorie. (laughs) - [Kiana] When Tammy
can't get into the pool because of the presence of 3 stairs, what she says is revealing. - Six months from now, I hope
that I make it into a pool. - Tammy hopes to get
into a pool in 6 months? That doesn't make sense
because her opportunity to get gastric bypass
surgery expires in 30 days. Tammy just showed us that
she never had any intention of doing what it takes to
get to her goal, all along. And in this next clip
she shows us that again. - Dr. Procter suggests that
I start being more active. I don't know how confident I am that I can do that right now. - Tammy is passively
engaged in the process. She's kinda just hoping it works out. She doesn't seem to see the connection between her actions and her results. Whereas Amy on the other
hand blatantly says, - I'm gonna do everything in my power to do what he suggests. - Amy is embracing the process,
whereas Tammy is resisting. This is the difference
between someone who is ready and willing to change,
and someone who feels like they're being forced to
change by their circumstances. In general, Tammy's perception
of effort is very flawed. Listen to her idea of trying. - I think it's slow for me because I'm not making
enough right choices. - Well, you know what you
gotta do to change it. - Well, one, I need to give
up all the fried foods, at least most of them. - No, all of them. - I'm trying! - There is a huge difference
between giving into temptation for fried food in the
moment, and blatantly saying you won't even attempt to resist it, while insisting that
that's your best effort, that's you trying. For me, this just shows
that Tammy doesn't feel like she has any control
over herself whatsoever. And she's more comfortable just not really exerting
herself than actually trying and getting hurt in the process. Among other things, Tammy
doesn't seem to have a shred of hope that she
will ever lose weight. And she definitely doesn't believe that she controls any of
the outcomes in her life. If you watch my video
on the victim mentality you know that the degree of effort we're willing to exert toward our goals, is closely related to how
much control we feel we have over the outcome. And obviously the more
effort we're willing to put into something like a weight loss journey, the more success we're
ultimately gonna have. Throughout the show, and
as they try to lose weight to meet the deadline, the sisters are faced
with many disappointments and difficulties along the way. Amy and Tammy respond to
problems very differently. Amy's response to
disappointment and difficulty is to work harder, to commit more, to double down and keep
pushing toward her goal. - But the other day we went to the junkyard to weigh ourselves, and it was a big disappointment. Now, I am determined,
I'm getting this surgery. We're all kinda disappointed. We didn't lose the weight
we were supposed to lose. But, I'm gonna continue
doing what I do now. And I'm gonna amp up the workouts, I'm gonna amp up the diet,
I'm gonna amp up everything. We're going back to Dr.
Procter's in a month so I gotta keep going, I
gotta lose this weight. I'm gonna do everything in my power to get approved for surgery. - Tammy on the other hand,
isn't quite as resilient. We've heard from both Amy and their mom that Tammy has a tendency
to give up easily. - Tammy gives up a lot. If she sees that she doesn't
think that she's gonna make it then she just gives up. - Side note, if you watch the show, man the mom is the worst, huh? Holy, she's brutal. Anyway, this next clip
happened after Amy and Tammy decided to go for a walk by
the pond to get some exercise. Tammy took ten steps, she was in pain, she decided not to continue
walking with her sister. And then this happened. (sniffling) - I want to give up 'cause I can't do more and because of Amy. - Obviously that was an
unreasonably dramatic response to what happened there. To even have thoughts of giving up because you couldn't walk to the pond doesn't really make sense for an adult. And obviously Tammy has some pretty major psychological issues well beyond the scope of this video. But what we can take from this is Tammy's knee jerk
reaction is to give up whenever she encounters
any sort of difficulty. And obviously it would be very hard to succeed at anything if you just gave up whenever it got hard. Listen to Tammy's language. I always love looking at people's language because I think it
reveals a lot about them. It's definitely not the language of perseverance or resiliency. - There's no way, I can't. Sometimes I feel like a victim. I wish I could get up
and do more for myself. - You just gotta work harder. - I try to. - Children are taught
not to talk like that. Not to constantly say, I can't and it's for good reason because when we do that kind of thing it actually reshapes our view of who we are as a person. In the end, the sisters had
very different outcomes. Dr. Procter felt that
Amy had proven herself and she was approved for surgery. - I don't think you thought
you could, but you did it. I'm proud of you. Come and have a seat. It was up to you to make these
changes in very little time, and you met the goal that we asked for. I'm happy for you, I'm excited for you. This is gonna be a new beginning for you. - But, even though Tammy
lost a little bit of weight, he felt that she wasn't
quite ready to change, and she did not get approved. - Last time I was here I was 600 pounds, and I need to get down to 550 so I can get approved for the surgery. - Tammy was a long way
from meeting her goal. I know she's upset and I hate it for her, but it illustrates the fact that she doesn't quite understand and isn't ready to make the
changes that she needs to, to meet her weight loss goal
and eventually have surgery. - Tammy's attitude throughout the show virtually guaranteed her failure. She was focused on all the wrong things, she wasn't willing to
put in any hard work, and she gave up as soon
as things got hard. Amy on the other hand was
positive and resilient, and her determination ultimately
resulted in her success. There are patterns and traits that stay constant in success and failure. That's the point of these videos really, to look at the underlying trends between those who succeed at their goals and those who fail. Our attitude toward life and
the way we approach things determines our experience
and very often our outcomes, which is actually a very good thing because attitude is one of
those rare things in life that we can actually control. Disclaimer: obviously there
was a lot more going on with Tammy than just a bad attitude, but all of that psychology
is beyond my scope or the scope of this video. (laughs) Thank you guys so much
for watching this video. I hope you've enjoyed it, and I will see you in the next one.
