AITA For Not Giving A Dog Back To Her Original Owner? [Reddit Relationships Advice]-

hey guys check out our new channel for more edit relationship stories relationship hunt link in description enjoy the video am i the antagonist for refusing to pay for my daughter's dental procedures my daughter is 24 years old for her entire life she has neglected her teeth her dental hygiene is non-existent she would refuse to brush or floss her teeth at all wouldn't even use mouthwash my first thought was that she may be suffering from depression or some sort of mental health issue so i immediately took her to professionals however even after years of doctors therapists medication and specialists my daughter still refused to take care of her teeth i got multiple opinions from multiple professionals they all said the same thing we don't know why she won't brush her teeth tries there's nothing more we can do for you i spent years crying begging bargaining and screaming at her in an attempt to get her to take it seriously she never did but under my care she'd at least brush her teeth occasionally two three eggs a week i kept trying up until she reached adulthood and moved out at that point there was nothing more i could do for her and i assume she completely stopped caring for her teeth at that point recently she went to the dentist because of severe pain after putting it off for years they discovered her teeth were pretty much completely ruined she had to have most of them pulled she called me crying about how ugly she felt and she begged me to pay for her to get crown slash veneers i refused for several reasons one it would be incredibly expensive we're talking upwards of 10k two she got herself into this mess by not taking care of her teeth despite me warning her throughout her entire life and doing all i could to help her three she has yet to show she can maintain proper dental hygiene and without proper maintenance she will likely ruin the crown slash veneers anyways i told her as much and said she'll have to figure it out herself she's obviously furious and thinks i'm a huge a-hole she is saying i'm a horrible mother and betraying her by not paying for it it's honestly starting to get to me and i'm doubting my decision i can technically afford it but i would have to use money from my retirement fund so here i am asking for opinions from the internet am i the antagonist nta you tried to get her to look after her teeth what did she think was going to happen she is an adult don't help her she dug herself this whole and she needs to get herself out nta and you said she hasn't actually changed her hygiene habits so the underlying issue is still unresolved you'll spend what 10 dollars to 12 k and be back to square one in a year or two don't do it nta if she hasn't started taking proper care of the teeth she has paying for crowns or veneers would only delay the inevitable the tooth matter below the crown or veneer wood rot away time to get all the teeth pulled and wear dentures nta she can apply for dental credit to pay for it oh man as someone who worked at a dental office don't they have fine print saying if you miss or are ever late the interest goes up to 24 99 pretty much the highest it can legally be i had to take out one for 10k for dental implants you better believe i did everything in my power not to miss a payment paid it off in one year so i had zero interest i was lucky enough to have someone explain very clearly how care credit works we had to do that when my daughter needed some serious dental work the dentist that came recommended for the procedure was match out of network and our dental insurance at the time was an even bigger joke than most so it wouldn't cover anything the cost wasn't anything approaching 10k but you better believe i was making payments every month like clockwork to avoid the interest nta she will care for her new teeth more if she has to find a way to pay for them herself i agree i only really started being strict about my dental hygiene after i turned 18 and had to start paying for the dentist avoiding costs is a great motivator please don't use your retirement fund for this you have been a good parent and tried to teach her good dental hygiene and how to take care of her body she refused to listen she is experiencing the consequences and there is nothing you can do about that if you are near a dental school she can apply to have her work done at reduced rates thereby students supervised by their teachers i hope this helps nta as is often said on this site do not set yourself on fire to keep her warm you did everything you could to prevent this she is reaping what she sowed anti-ace ensued try for what 24 years or so but only slight there are other neurotypes besides depression that can make oral hygiene quite difficult either due to sensory or executive issues for example i'm autistic and good oral hygiene has always been a challenge for me though fortunately the most i've ever needed was a deep clean nothing as extreme as what you described autism is also frequently under diagnosed in women as women tend to mask a lot better so that's one explanation why it might be difficult for her i was thinking this at first too but op seemed willing to try anything that would help and her daughter was unwilling to negotiate at all like i think a damp tissue run across the teeth would have been acceptable if the daughter told her that's all she could do or like chewing a twig or whatever but the daughter outright refused which is different than being unable that said screaming is never helpful no one seems to want to admit that the daughter might just be straight up lazy wiper if i went to the school that i want against my mom's wishes copy and pasted the majority of my posts from another subreddit onto here just want to see if i'm tar my mom is really controlling and wants me to go to an overseas university the university happens to be in the same country my mom is from i just want to stay in my own country surrounded by friends and a culture i'm familiar with she says that the university is very famous and wants me to enter so i can impress everyone by saying i was from university she also mentions about how going there will help my transition into work and the work she's talking about is related to her field of expertise here's where i might be tar my mother doesn't know that months before i took my exams i already applied for early admission into another college which is more obscure and laid-back but has a course that i love passionately going there would derail all her life's plans for me guess what i got accepted she wants me to take the faster route by going to another branded college to help me get into the overseas university she so badly wants me to enter i've tried time and time again to tell her that maybe i don't want to go to the university she wants me to go and i want to stay here in an environment i'm familiar with she says if i do that she'll raise hell with my dad who supports my decision the way she said that so aggressively and with determination [Music] i've never seen her act like that before it scared me into silencing myself into not saying a word about defying her instructions yeah this is all because i'm a pursle mayo big plans for me and she's talked about them fervently she's even made plans that took years to complete like buying houses in the country where i would be attending my overseas university so i have a place to live comfortably as well as making efforts to change my passport which is a very complicated process close bracket i will be throwing them away once i tell her i've been acting behind her back to to into a different school would i be the antagonist if i spent years not telling my mom about my decision and dumping the hard truth in one go i will post an update when this is over which will be in a few days time the deadline when i decided to tell her everything writing this down has been strangely therapeutic nta of course your life not hers there are no doubt reasons in her own past why she is so worried about your future but that's a problem and not yours if she's bought a house she can sell it and congratulations on being accepted to the course that you want also if she lays on the guilt trip about losing money on that house you just remember it was her choice not to listen when you tried to tell her you didn't want this any problems this causes for her are 100 due to her actions that's a really good point nta and also make sure that you've got important papers money email accounts and personal items in a safe place before the deadline controlling people do not react well when their control is broken also you're not weak to be scared you're the victim of abuse and it's a normal self-defense response you are strong as hell for getting out we are rooting for you carrot this so many people get worried about the situation at hand that they don't even think about obtaining important documents such as but not limited to birth certificates social security card if in usa medical records etc that by the time they realize they need this information it's too late and they can't get it please get as much as you possibly can before letting her know of your plans even though your dad supports you you have no idea how she might react good luck and i'm wishing you the best take it from someone who went to a grad school he hated for the chance of a better job but found no jobs in it when he got out thanks to the 2008 recession do what makes you happy the economy is fickle and there is no guarantee that a job you plan for when starting school will still be there when you get out so do what you want even if you don't make millions of your local currency unit you'll still be happier having done what you loved nta i hope you're doing well now the 2008 recession sounded devastating when i read about it millions losing their jobs overnight thank you for your advice you'll have to deal with something similar and arguably worth thanks to covet at at least there wasn't the risk of a deadly disease in 2008 i'm going okay but i have a license that is hard to transfer to other states so i exist on temporary contracts going from layoff to layoff all the reason to do what makes you happy so you don't get stuck with a degree you don't like [Music] nta i know she has big plans for me and she's talked about them fervently irrelevant compared to your plans for you you don't exist to please your mother i'm sorry if she didn't understand that when she had you and if she really wants to be planning other people's lives she should get sims or something go to the school you want in terms of breaking it gently or dropping a bombshell sounds like she'll blow up regardless make sure everything is finalized she can't change your arrangements e g phone your school pretend to be you and cancel let them know you are having difficulties with your mother i guarantee you they are used to it make sure all important documents are safe ideally with a trusted friend and not in your house where she can reach them she'll probably say nasty things and turn the guilt tripping up to maximum but sounds like you're used to ignoring it don't let her get to you anyone who has to scream throw things have a tantrum and guilt trip to get what they want clearly don't have a sensible reason to use for why they should have it if she physically tries anything you can call the police though if it comes to that sea if you can record on your phone for extra security nta she doesn't get a say in what you do with your life the sooner you make her realize that the sooner she'll get over herself and the idea that she does or not it doesn't really matter how she deals with it that's her problem not yours am i the antagonist for not giving a dog back to her original owner a year ago we adopted a beagle from a local shelter she had been there for three months before we got her she was morbidly obese 60 pounds and had zero manners we worked with our vet and got her to a healthy weight we worked on training her with a professional trainer she was heartworm positive when we got her so we've also been treating her for that which is very expensive our kids have gotten very attached to her after the year she's been here we didn't know her past other than she was taken is her astray and waited the mandatory week to be claimed before she was put on the adoption floor she was fixed and not chipped a few weeks ago i posted an update on the rescues fb page showing her progress over the past year that's when her former owner saw freaked out and started begging for her back publicly jenna was hers first she ran out the front door she does that here too and we need to give her back basically responses to her demands were mixed some saying we should give her back others saying stars now she is legally still him being dragged for being enough or refusing to give gemma back she has been our dog for over a year now we love her i argued that if you cared that much about your doggy out have claimed her on the three months she was at the rescue previous owner states she was in and out of the hospital and that is why she couldn't look for her so am i the antagonist for not giving this dog back eat of the heartworms were definitely present before the rescue got her the former owner has supplied pics that do make me think gemma really was hers she was definitely fat in the pics but i think it's also very possible she gained weight at the rescue because she has cooped in a kennel almost all day when i say she had no training i mean none not house broken no sit slash stay slash leave it no leash manners she was comfortable and happy to jump into cars and on furniture though so i imagine she was an inside dog the previous owner is low income and disabled and that is why i think her heartworm prevention was neglected i don't think the previous owner is a monster or they are well the way she went about it was a hitch to me but in general i don't know enough about her to make that call i know the previous owner could never reimburse us for the veterinary care gem has gotten over the past year what it boils down to is we love this dog and don't want to give her up nta she was legally adopted out you took her home you cared for her various medical ailments and she has been with you for a year she is yours she waited at the shelter to be picked up for three months and the owner didn't show when my dog slipped out the front door we called the shelter every day until we found him she did no due diligence and has therefore relinquished any claim she had on gemma i'm sorry you are in this situation it really stinks the law is on your side stick with that i can't imagine not knowing where my dogs were for even a day let alone the three months she sat at the shelter let alone the year she's been with ops family that dog belongs to opus not the a-hole it's a terrible feeling when you live your pet we did everything we could when our last dog got out or possibly was stolen even called in a bloodhound to try and track her she was chipped but if someone sees a friendly dog out and about and decides not to find the owner there's not much to be done if you go to the vet with a new dog they won't question you or scan the dog for a chip unless you ask i'm not judging up in this case just to be clear i sincerely hope that my lost girl was picked up by someone just as loving i just wish that hypothetical person had checked for a chip and we'd gotten her back wait the vet won't scan an animal that comes in when i took my late cat to the vet for the first time he was a shelter cat and the shelter had chipped him before i adopted him they scanned him as part of the procedure we move a lot because of our job and have two cats both chipped so we've seen our fair share of vets and the current one didn't scan either cat when they had their first appointment with them i had to ask them to scan them for them to record their chip numbers since their vet records from prior only had the last five digits so i think it depends on the vet you go to and the situation surrounding the intake like in our case i had the cats vet records and such versus us bringing in a potential stray nta here are all the reasons why you can tell this lady to go to hell 1. she didn't give her dog heartworm prevention 2 she let her beagle which should weigh roughly 20 25 pounds reach 60 pounds three she put no effort into training the dog for she put so little effort into looking for a distinct looking dog how many morbidly obese beagles do you know that this dog sat at a shelter for three months i don't give a rat's ass if she was in the hospital she could have had a friend or neighbor or relative or anyone do a basic search for her dog and she didn't plus she neglected gemma's health way before that gemma is your dog now and that lady should never have had her in the first place this the previous owner abused your dog and wants her back now that she's healthy and well trained gemma is fully yours and keep up the good work if the previous owner is local make sure gemma's properly microchipped and everything since people like this may be vindictive and try to steal her back just a heads up though microchipping a dog only helps if the dog goes back to the adoption place vet or shelter and is checked for a chip it doesn't provide any gps tracking or anything i genuinely thought the microchip was like a mini gps when i first got my dog there are dog tracking devices that can be attached to the dog's collar i got something called a whistle gps tracker that not only lets me know where my dog is but also will alert me if she goes out of the yard it also helps track your dog's exercise sleep habits scratching licking and water consumption pretty sweet item if i do say so myself edit added more places at chip dogs completely blanked on other locations before thanks for more info guys am i the antagonist for refusing to pay for my neighbors fines we moved into our new house five years ago it's a small neighborhood and the homes are close together the house across the street from me is a rental home and we were very close with the previous tenants who moved last year we are also good friends with the landlord who lives a couple blocks away new tenants moved into the house about six months ago since they have moved in we have had multiple issues with them from extremely loud parties on work days sometimes going until three or four in the morning and loud fights police have been called multiple times due to their behavior and it seems to help for a couple of weeks but then it goes right back to loud parties and fighting recently the male tenant bought a new truck it is very loud and has one of those exhaust pipes in the bed the way our homes are set up their driveway faces directly in front of our bedroom window so when he turns his truck on in the mornings to warm it up the headlights shine directly into our bedroom windows we bought blackout curtains and put a film over the windows which has helped but the real issue is the noise and fumes that come off of the truck in the warmer months we cannot keep our windows open because the fumes are so bad we had to take down our wall shelves because the rumbling was so much it was knocking things off of them my husband went over last week to speak to him about it just to let him know that the fumes were getting into our house and asked if maybe he would move his truck out onto the street in the morning so we could at least keep the windows open he refused and said we needed to deal with it last night they were having another rowdy party and were lighting off fireworks they had the truck on and were revving the engine and blasting music finally at midnight my sub and had enough and went over there to ask they'd turn it down as he had to be up at 4 4 work they called him a boomer he's only 40 and told him to [ __ ] off so he came back in and called the police the police came and cited a neighbor for the noise as well as some illegal modifications to his truck him and his girlfriend are now demanding that we pay the fines because we called the police we refused and now they are angry with us and telling us that it will be our fault if they can't pay the rent because of the fines am i the antagonist for refusing to pay them nta they can't pay the rent because of the fines problem solved the neighbors can just deal with it more like can't pay rent due to modding my truck every paycheck nta if they want to repeatedly break the law then they should pay the price if your neighbor on the local shop would you take the blame i think not most of the time when people complain about having the cops called about their embarrassing slash illegal etc behavior it's because they got caught or publicly shamed nta can you contact the owner of the home and inform them of how their tenants have been behaving maybe nothing will come of it or maybe their lease will be cut short for harassing the neighbors i live in an area with a lot of college students some of whom pull stuff like the op said landlords do not like this so the college kids are usually pretty good about stuff i think contacting a landlord is a good option at this point because they have tried the nice approach and been told to earth off i said it earlier but the landlord can only do so much especially if they don't live there in my experience this is ineffective a call to the police will create a record and a potential fine for the tenant and the landlord plus it will be anonymous no need to turn this into a danger to yourself do not have faith in people who would be so rude as to make that kind of noise they will not be receptive to a conversation the only thing people like this understand is consequences they are like children really making sure their lease doesn't get renewed is better than nothing nta start recording the bad behavior for yourself and the landlord he could easily get them evicted because of the police being called alone but the more proof the better document document document may be advantageous for rob to get some cameras on their own property in case there is retaliation yes also make the documentation available to the nightmare neighbors landlord it will likely help in the eviction proceedings nta do you really have to ask the internet if you are in the wrong these are nightmare neighbors i do wonder why they haven't talked to their friend the landlord who they said lives a few blocks away about all of this and if they had why didn't the landlord do anything about it because this is a karma grab obvious karma grab is obvious i mean i get people in abusive relationships gets gaslighted brainwashed and confused but this is so obviously a fake karma grab nta play stupid games win stupid prizes let him find a way to pay given he could afford a brand new truck w slash mods agreed they have money to have parties and modified trucks who sell the truck to pay rent and fines

Channel: Reddit Hunt

Views: 1,944

Rating: 4.9411764 out of 5

Keywords: aita, askreddit, reddit aita, reddit open marriage, reddit, cheating reddit, reddit cheating wife, reddit cheating, aita update, reddit relationships, reddit update, reddit stories, reddit funny, reddit breakup stories, reddit confession, relationship STORIES, reddit family relationships, reddit relationship advice, relationship drama, break ups, reddit cheating girlfriend, reddit revenge, reddit creepy, reddit school, reddit relationship stories, tifu, reddit hunt

Id: c91GSnnx8_0

Length: 25min 25sec (1525 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 08 2021