Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle - Nostalgia Critic

[Music] right [Music] i confess i killed you i killed anyone's interest in seeing you critic are you okay yeah what about target practice at raja gosnell's house now critic if you don't open the door we're gonna drink all the ecto cooler and leave nothing for you i thought we were gonna do that anyway no he doesn't know that oh my god i'm gonna use a nine millimeter let's kick back thank you oh thank god he was saying the strangest things about a movie that everyone hates clearly his soul has been twisted by the devil do not worry if there is one thing i know this how to force the internet's opinion with shay it's just good to know that he has such good friends with this there's no chance you can miss fire malcolm oh sorry i gotta do something do it right she'd be proud of me [Music] leave me alone your friends told me you were saying some concerning things about a movie it's okay all terrible movies are equally bad in the eyes of the internet are they tell me how well trained are you in bad film adaptations i know a little bigger films mostly oh then you must know why a dr seuss character sticking his head in a woman's cleavage and having a man kiss a dog's ass doesn't work i can't say that i do isn't that the beloved adaptation of the grinch oh christ all right well surely you must know why the mad hatter break dancing and applying rules and logic to an illogical world that can't even represent the title right doesn't work i regret it is not too familiar it does sound like that smash hit alice in wonderland though here what about this one an animated moose and squirrel try to save the world from a villain with a lame accent they make all sorts of forced puns with sloppy slapstick and no story yes i know that i'm sorry i had no idea you despised that film as much as everyone else i didn't that was rocky and bullwinkle the film you accuse yourself of killing you heard that for god's sake my son if you have something to confess do it now they were my icons rocky and bullwinkle the popular tv show that ran from 1959 to 1964. while kids could enjoy the adventures of a cynical squirrel and a brain-dead moose escaping the clutches of boris natasha and fearless leader adults enjoyed a ton of in-jokes and smart writing that would usually go over most children's heads it was one of the first animated tv shows where the focus was more on the humor for grown-ups and less unexciting stories for kids resulting in some brilliant puns you went to college penn state state pen and some not so brilliant puns it's from washington washington suppose you heard i was a lincoln fan there was no doubt it was corny but still clever it showed caring little about the scenario could actually be funny itself if you used it with the right kind of comedy but nevertheless when the movie was advertised years later people shuddered in disgust these were clearly some of the worst trailers ever released since any of the trailers in 2016. i'd like to use one of my lifelines they were bad really really bad as i read countless requests upon countless requests i finally decided to watch this sack of moose droppings as i put the dvd in to review it i played a little game with myself the internet despised this movie critics gave it a 43 on rotten tomatoes did it show did even the first couple minutes represent how awful this adaptation was i pushed play on the remote and started to watch rocky and bullwinkle themselves were forced to subsist on ever diminishing residual checks from reruns of their old show but something strange started to happen to me something i didn't think would happen to me after all the hatred and awful advertisements i started to laugh and their plans were crushed by the fall of the iron curtain that was rocking the bullwinkle that that clearly well-written faithful adaptation being shown to me on the screen while the narrator that's me was forced to move in with his mother where he was reduced to narrating the events of his own life it seemed to have the same spirit the same humor even kind of a similar animation style no no no no no this has to be a mistake it must be it better be i just want to clarify you tried to kill yourself over this movie the movie continued explaining how rocky and bullwinkle were trapped in reruns and their home in the forest been chopped down i'm the chairman of the frostbite full society for wildlife conversation you mean wildlife conservation well somebody's gonna start talking about these things even their wordplay had become hackneyed in cheap no it was always like this wow they even acknowledge how forced a lot of their humor can be i i'm legitimately confused this seems like the typical rocky and bullwinkle writing maybe even a little better because of its awareness of how it's being perceived surely something has to throw this all off live action of course now we're going to brendan fraser brad pitt and robert de niro this up oh wait this was the one he was in even better we see how janine garofalo chooses her movie scripts too intelligent when boris natasha and fearless leader convince her that they should make a rocky and bullwinkle movie what is it it's classic american cartoon from early 60s and as you know films based on shows from the 60s always equal cinematic success so she signs the contract bringing them into the real world so now we have de niro as fearless leader jason alexander as boris and renee russo as natasha how did that happen we are attached to the project was that your excuse for little [ __ ] but the studio president carl reiner says he don't like moose pictures i don't like moose pictures but a very specific prejudice but the evil trio put out rbtv really bad television to hypnotize the world through awful shows to do whatever they want oh that explains i think everything but the fbi director randy quaid i'm back from canada is putting his top agent on the case karen's sympathy played by piper peravo looper that that's where you know her from she's so idealistic warm-hearted and beautiful she can't help but smile when she's called idealistic warm-hearted and beautiful idealistic warm-hearted and beautiful fbi agent karen sympathy damn it this movie's charming i want to kiss me and carry me off to a castle give me something to work with are you familiar with the rocky and bullwinkle show oh i mean i've heard of it okay that was nickelodeon tv movie awkward we're back on track all that's missing is a visual gag even haunted house wouldn't use it's almost as if there were a mole in the white house [Music] that's just ridiculous yes this i can work with in that it doesn't work which works for me i have a weird job so she sneaks into the studio to try and bring rocky and bullwinkle to life by literally choosing the genre of the movie they're about to star in and using literally a green light to create them this is so meta even the muppets would turn to the camera and say you know i'm just a bunch of foam with a puppeteer attached to me right i don't even know how many more fourth walls we can break but it works and our two heroes are set free rocky it's such a pleasure to meet the only reason dave coulier got a job on full house something you'll notice very quickly is that the animation on the two of them is clearly computer generated you would think that this would make them seem less well animated and more solid and slow but in a strange way it actually works rocky and bullwinkle didn't exist in a world of motion it was mainly an excuse to make verbal jokes so in this environment nothing is really lost if anything it really kind of looks like they're in the scene interacting with people despite them obviously being cartoons it's not as good as say roger rabbit but it is better than other movies where clearly they never look like they occupy the same space the cg surprisingly really fits now if only that somehow upped rocky's prozac prescription wait a minute why don't we take an airplane it's just not right i could fly if i had to we're supposed to be the hero i guess the world just doesn't need us i swear every time he's on screen he's always bitching or moping about something that's not what you said before bullwinkle that's not what you mean what network are you from what's the point no even eeyore would be like christ i'd rather be thrown in a fire with a velveteen rabbit than listen to this guy so they outrun the police because clearly the fbi couldn't ask to do any of this and they make it to her car did you watch her show did i watch your show i loved your show you did i'm a beautiful lip gloss wearing 19 year old woman of course i've seen rocky and bullwinkle i look just like the rest of our demographic we also see bullwinkles antlers can intercept radio frequencies but i was just getting jiggy with it don't say no every time a movie makes that reference god's finger gets a little closer to smoting us but i was just getting jiggy with it [Music] so the villains begin their hypnotizing test to see if they can make people dumber it works there has never been a way to actually destroy a cartoon character until now what about that movie roger rabbit shut up this is totally different no that was funny it was a funny line funny delivery even that awkward silence kind of made it work again it really is like rocky and bullwinkle some of the jokes are funny and some of the jokes are awful that's always what they were yes all that's missing are the confusing jokes the ones that don't make sense as a kid or an adult oh like i don't know having an unexplained kid as an evil scientist yes that would be mighty confusion computer degenerating imagery or cdi as i like to call it wow that's his artist a random animated weasel they just found now i know what happened to my friend freddy the ferret oh oh it's okay before you even get a chance to question it they throw in a funny line so you completely forgot what you were confused about send him where all worthless cyber jumps up the internet i feel delighted annoyed and puzzled all at the same time exactly that was rocky and what was the movie up to could it be so clever that it was purposefully bad in some places and purposefully odd in others no no no it has to just be bad this is 2016 internet and i will not allow anything down the middle especially for the feature oh i don't know this sound effects becoming pretty annoying okay that is entirely bad but inside fearless leader's eye there's a cartoon because the director said they'll get it when suddenly objects start falling from the sky you're the one driving beware me thank you me they get away though leaving boris and natasha to face the punishment of robert de niro's in joke are you talking to me are you talking to me and when i say in i mean about as in as john travolta or tom cruise it's so not in that it's pretty much out the two of them steal a helicopter from a very strange jonathan winters cameo i'm sick and tired of shopping for helicopters or if i had a missile i'd blow your buns right out of the sky i'll leave that alone he was very old and said yes to two of these for god's sake but our heroes get intercepted by a possibly stranger cameo from john goodman but she really is with the fbi yeah not really john goodman let's get in the car you know after blues brothers 2000 i wouldn't admit i was john goodman neither so they're separated from their coyote ugly co-star yes that's the other one you know her from put it down as they partake in what a shock more puns we don't have time to get to washington this is no time to worry about getting the washing done you know rocky and bullwinkle really need a pun scale something to show which ones legitimately work and which ones are hitler's ass scratchers this movie's getting kind of don't say it two-dimensional oh you're right there's no telling how low that pun will go someone's watching rocky and bullwinkle again they're picked up however by a duo of hey this was a thing see where you guys been all this time huh reruns you know that's never gonna happen to us right [Applause] boy i don't know whether to feel bad or no that's the only option they go to the boys college which was actually a school bullwinkle went to in the show but there's just one problem the college is anti-moose there's the animated freak now what is with all the moose hate in this what did he violate your safe space with his giant antlers is he now on the wall of entertainers that are too shocking to perform at colleges speaking of which karen flirts with a swedish guard by promising to take him to the movies if he gets her out but is it me or are her hand gestures a little too um symbolic how would we eat our popcorn well we could eat our popcorn with one hand and hold hands with the other yikes thank god bullwinkle wasn't firing the puns on this one bully she really knows how to squeeze my hose oh rancol i'm just saying she really knows how to make the wet stuff come out oh rancol oh and when i say come out okay don't come crying to me if the fcc leaves a horse head on your mattress at least i wouldn't be the only one getting hit oh christ back at the college rocky sees boris is about to attack so he tries once more to see if he can remember how to fly rocky had delicious taco bell tacos he files their evil plan saves bullwinkle yet somehow still finds something to be upset about i guess i've lost the neck i'll never fly again seriously so locked prozac that creepy [ __ ] from we happy few take something you depressed woodchuck this whole vehicle speech was so inane that the students couldn't understand a word he was saying and consequently found nothing to object to oh my god this movie may have predicted the future nah they'd always find something to object to plus there are some legitimately funny scenes like the nice swedish guard who helps karen escape to go to the movies she totally abandons him doesn't even think twice honestly this movie really does have a lot of the characteristics of the original cartoon right down to some of it being brilliant and some of it being painful i'm sorry but it really is a good adaptation but why this film why is rocky and bullwinkle the adaptation that works with all the great cartoons turned into live action [ __ ] why is this the one that gets all the effort even down to the flaws these other adaptations deserve better these other adaptations deserve better what are you saying i'm saying from now on the movie and i are enemies because it chooses this piece of crap to represent perfectly when other adaptations deserve the attention because it is unjust unfair unkind i will block it i swear it i will hinder and harm that feature on earth as i am able [Music] you know people already hate it right well yeah but i'll make them hate it even more that's not very impressive you're never [Music] imprisoned the rocky bullwinkle raced toward chicago probably lured by their filming tax breaks it wouldn't last where they drive through two italian peasants just so they can crash through some fruit cards in their chase if that's not funny enough get a load of this weird silent moment i have no idea why that was there but it just cracks me up was it supposed to be an out of body experience like we're supposed to hear their thoughts i never did tell her how i really feel you know it would be pointless right now a billy crystal can you practice for sale volume this cameo just fixed my pipes in my summer home yeah a lot of the cameos in this movie if you haven't noticed don't really make a lot of sense it's the equivalent of using an unpopular appearance twice for no real reason we just saw him we just saw jonathan winters why are they using him again oh and it doesn't tie into any joke it's not like that's his brother or his look-alike or the same person it's just jonathan winters as a different character hell why not complete the trilogy and have him pop up as another completely different character i'm high i am completely high why would there be three jonathan winter cameos what was this in his contract he had to play more than one character no matter how brief or pointless what if he had that same contract in smurfs hey everybody do you like my new dress i got you now papa smurf meow he doesn't always have to be a one-man everything our heroes escape the villains again which just curls alexander's reverse hitler stash but karen tries to encourage rocky to conquer his fear of flying [Music] this is the most exciting moment since let's look at the clock here 20 minutes ago 20 minutes ago is when this happened i was just as excited then actually no i'm less excited because we did it what was it again 20 minutes ago we come across this image that quite frankly i have no words for as the villains lie about destroying our heroes making fearless leader very happy excellent my faithful minions excellent go home movie you're drunk i clearly haven't licked enough toads for this how is it robert de niro has been in movies where he's worn fake boobs and yet somehow this seems more demeaning well at least they get chocolates though i have so many questions karen and rocky get captured and see what fearless leader has done to the other agents and now ladies and gentlemen the main cause of your bed wetting tonight look close look close and deep there's no way you're getting those urine stains out of your mattress not terrifying enough what if we meld it with a beautiful lady at one of your cartoon icons rule 34 has nothing on this insanity the lore knows someone's jerking off to it meanwhile bullwinkle accidentally lands in washington well as long as i'm here i might as well talk to the president about the trees oh yeah the trees are still a thing is this like a last-minute environmental message because it's not worked in very well i don't think gone with the wind would be very powerful if they suddenly threw in where's what should i do frankly my dear i don't give a damn and by the way don't smoke buckwade is still there and realizes the best way to get bullwinkle to save them is to email him over see what's this site called tentacle hentai times stood virtually still at rbtv no not really we just want to show off we could do that effect but it's too late for everyone is under fearless leaders control and he forces the world to vote for him i either one works in this scenario but bullwinkle's antlers reverse the signal and he slams into de niro surprisingly holding back a raging bull joke i would have done it i would have done it everything gets wrapped up and our heroes of course save the day and rbtv changed its name from really bad television to rocky and bullwinkle television what's the difference wow i think rocky's negativity is really rubbing off on him you all gotta learn how to love yourselves speaking of which karen is allowed to love her inner child because the film reminds us that was a thing and she even goes back to the swedish guy who was still waiting at the movies the whole time ah dammit that's funny i don't care if he looks like james marston melted into grey cystero it's still a funny joke the trees are planted again until the next computer-generated jackass complains about them and all is right with the world except for the fact that it's here it's here our nostalgia critic and you know what that means destruction destruction of the feature done by the destroyer of films nostalgia critic what passion what comedy he has been touched by the internet gods and hollywood forced to listen hollywood that decided this was going to be one of the most faithful adaptations while other adaptations deserve better i for once in the end laughing at them still i have to admit i kind of liked it [Music] okay it's nothing great but rocky and bullwinkle wasn't really anything great either it could be brilliant but it could also be kind of lame it could be creative but it could also kind of be phoned in the jokes overshadowed the story and characters every time but that was always the idea and that's precisely what this film is it captures its source material to a t even the trailer re-dubbed a lot of the lines so it would sound lamer for some reason so it's no wonder nobody wanted to see it it has a similar feel as george of the jungle it's obviously meant to be a kids movie with some tongue-in-cheek jokes for adults but it never loses track that it's mainly just meant for kids yeah again for the most part and as kids films go this is fine no classic or anything but a solid c c plus if you're not a fan of the original cartoon you probably won't be a fan here but if you have a soft spot for puns good or bad fourth wall jokes and kind of an awkward yet still likable charm god help me i actually think this is enjoyable enough to watch [Music] are you surprised by my choice my ability to disagree with the masses my ballsy is to enjoy something so universally despised oh boy you really can't talk a man's ear off so you really liked uh rock a doodle get out of here okay oh and tell all the others that enjoy mediocrity that i will speak for them i am their champion [Music] has he gone crazy i think the real question is what's he ever saying mediocrity mediocrity's everywhere i find you all okay you're okay you're okay all your mediocrities are okay you are all average [Music] oh

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 2,275,857

Keywords: channel awesome, nostalgia critic, doug walker, movie, movies, film, movie review, film review, adventures of rocky and bullwinkle, rocky and bullwinkle, rocky and bullwinkle review, adventures of rocky and bullwinkle review

Id: KnfKVaZWWlQ

Length: 27min 38sec (1658 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 28 2016