All right. So I just got back from working out
and I thought that this would be the perfect time to watch the second 50 shades of gray. One of
the reasons why I wanted to watch this series was because it is something that a lot of people in my
community considered to be an inaccurate portrayal of BDSM. I'm kind of new to doing movie reviews and I'm
still trying to figure out the best way to do it. Now I will start by saying that this video
is going to be a little chaotic, potentially. I'm planning on doing several things in this
video. I'm going to have a cup of homemade Boba, and then I'm going to do my nails, and then I'm
going to do my makeup. I feel like I can do all of that in two hours and 11 minutes. Okay.
So I've got the mixing here. Um, also this is a lot of Boba I'm, I'm probably gonna have to
have more than one of these to like, justify that. I think that this might be copacetic. Okay.
So, Oh, I'm such a basic [b] with my Boba, Oh that's so satisfying. That's honestly so
satisfying. We're going to watch some 50 shades of gray. I'm going to do my nails and I come and
comment as we go. Hopefully this will all go easy. Because I don't want to watch this movie five
times just to get this video out. So let's go. But before we get into this video, I wanted to let
you guys know that it's sponsored by Skillshare. Skillshare is an amazing online learning
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Right now I'm taking a class by Thomas Frank. That's all about being productive and staying
focused and on task. And he just has some really, really great nuggets of knowledge. And I just
love the fact that he has a bunch of classes on Skillshare. If you're interested in Skillshare,
they were nice enough to give the first 1000 of my followers to click on the link in the description
box, a free trial of Skillshare premium. Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled programming,
the film starts with a short scene of Christian Gray as a young boy, running away from an altercation between his mother and presumably another man showing
that he grew up in an abusive home at the end of the last movie, Anna
and Christian Gray had broken up. And at the beginning of this movie, Christian
Gray is still continuing to reach out to her. She gets a gift upon gift and she gets so many
flowers that they eventually start to wither. Um, didn't they break up?? He's still sending her stuff??
Since leaving Christian Gray, Anna I started working towards her dream job. She took up a job as a writer's
assistant and the writer clearly has a really inappropriate crush on her after work. She goes to
her old friend Jose's photography shows, and she's really surprised to see so many pictures of her
in the room. Jose comes up to her and excitedly tells her that somebody has purchased all of
the portraits of her. CG: I don't like strangers gawking at you.. Wow. That's so creepy. After the gallery,
Christian Gray decides to take Anna out for dinner and they have a conversation about
what went wrong in their relationship. Anna: I know that I asked you to
show me how far it can go, but Anna: you were getting off on the pain you inflicted
Kat: duh. So if you guys watched my First review, um, here's the thing. I think that
Anna and Christian are not meant for each other. I like definitely don't think that they should
be together because Anna is reluctant to do BDSM Christian is really into BDSM. And one of the things I
said in my conclusion of my whole review was that I think that this is actually very realistic
because I've known a lot of dominant men who are almost more excited by a women who don't
have experience. Don't know what they're doing are very confused about, you know, exactly why
things are what, and personally, I think that that bad Dominants, Dominants that, you know, I personally
don't trust are very excited by the inexperience. And I think that Christian Gray ultimately was an
irresponsible Dominant by "doing his worse". Right? Um, that'll being said, it's still baffles
me that he spent the entire movie basically saying to her face, I want to slap you around
and beat you and spank you and dah, dah, dah, dah, and some reason, some way she was surprised
when had happened and surprised that he enjoys it. You know, if there's one piece of credit, I will
give Christian Gray it's that he has always been very honest about what he wants. He's always
been very straightforward about what he wants and it's just not what she wants. I think
that, like the thing that's frustrating about me watching this couple is that
they're clearly not meant for each other. And for some people it's romantic to
date somebody who's into something like BDSM and slowly but surely pushed them away from it.
But let me just tell you that honestly, doesn't tend to work. You, it might work for a bit, but
it doesn't honestly tend to work. I think people learn not to share that side of themselves.
Um, but that's not, you know, actually them changing. By the end of their conversation,
they decided to rekindle their relationship, Anna: No punishments and no more secrets. CG: I can do that.
Kat: Christian Gray drops Anna back
at home and the camera pans down to reveal a woman looking up into her apartment
who has clearly been stalking her. Okay. Who is that though? I think she
was also on the bus...
at work the next day, her boss, whose name is Jack decides to
invite Anna out for drinks after work. Anna says that she has plans presumably with
Christian Gray. And Jack says that she should bring her plans with her to the bar. When Anna
leaves work, the woman who has been stalking her, runs into her and tries to get her attention. But
what Anna asks, if they know each other, she says Mystery Woman: It's okay... Im nobody Anna meets her boss at the
bar after work. And they have a riveting conversation about Dante's
Inferno. Christian Gray walks in on this conversation and picks up on the
fact that her boss is interested in her. Boss: What will you have Chris?
CG: Thanks Jack. Another Time.
Anna: I can't believe you just talked to him like that. CG: He wants what's mine.
Anna: What's yours. It's a little presumption. The couple goes back to Christian Grey's place,
where they cooked dinner with each other at home. And it's, while they're preparing dinner,
the Christian grey reveals that he's actually purchasing the company that
she works at. Anna: No! You can't do that. That's my job. You can't start
interfering in my career.
CG: It's not about that. Kat: Yeah. You better tell him he better tell him CG: They're the best fit.
Anna: but you're going to be my boss.
CG: Technically, I'll be your boss's boss's boss. Anna: And I'm going to be sleeping with my boss's boss's CG: boss right now. You're arguing
with him
Anna: Yeah, because he's being an [a] Kat: You better tell him you better tell him Anna, after having a bit of an argument and it walks
up behind Christian and tries to touch his chest, but Christian stops her before she makes contact.
And they have a really brief conversation about boundaries. So I'm liking the push, the push and
pull, okay, like that's cute or whatever. And the, to have sex for the first time since rekindling
their relationship. All right, this is a little cute kind of, I get it. Now, the thing that's
interesting about this scene is that she's clearly trying to be a bit more of the leader. She's
trying to be a bit more of the person who starts the naughtiness. In my opinion, it seems like
she wants to be in control. She wants to be the person who you know, is leading instead
of just sort of agreeing with what he wants. So apparently Christian Gray gave her
a $24,000 check. And the next morning when they wake up after having sex and
having a great moment with each other, she basically tells him that she does not
want this check. So she rips it up. Then he gets on his phone and calls someone and transfers
$24,000 into Anna's account.... Because... Now for me, this is a great example of Christian Gray, not
respecting consent. As you will remember from the last movie, he sold her car without
asking her about it, which to me seems really and presumptuous and controlling,
you know, but some women fantasize about men controlling their every move and who am I
to tell them what to believe? But I just want to make it clear that while men giving you gifts is
nice while doing nice things for you financially is not necessarily always a bad thing on when
you tell somebody no, and they do it anyway. Um, at least to me, that is a sign that they
are probably, uh, not going to respect your consent fully. They go to brunch, I assume.
And Christian grey tells her that he's going to be going to a ball with his family. And
he would like her to be his date. Of course, she says that she doesn't have anything to wear.
And I'm assuming we're going to be coming up on a shopping montage, much like 365. Um, but
the conversation's kind of cut short because Anna notices this girl sitting outside, she notices
that the girl that she saw right outside of the bar is still falling her clearly trying to get
her attention. She tells Christian Gray about it. And Christian Gray is like, we should
go. We should get the hell out of here. As they leave the restaurant. And I asked
Christian, if he knows who that woman is and he says, don't worry, he's handling
it after brunch, Christian Gray takes Anna to the salon, but she's not exactly happy
to find out who exactly owns the salon. Is that the woman is that the woman
who I think that that's the woman, the woman who abused him,
Anna: why would you take
me there? Why would you take me to meet the woman who seduced an abused relationship and
the, you better be upset, girl meat sale, Anna: Explain to me what's going on. Come on.
CG: I'll explain when we're there...Okay.
You can either walk or I can carry you
Kat: I'M WALKING! Yeah. I'm going to walk. That's what she
says.
CG: Fine. Yup. Yeah. You better walk Anna. As they're leaving the salon and it puts the
pieces together. The girl who's following her is clearly one of Christian's previous submissives.
Back at Christian Grey's home. He explains their history together. Apparently like Anna, she
wanted more of a relationship from Christian Gray, but he was unwilling to give it to her. Apparently
she's been trying to get Christian Grey's attention since he started pursuing Anna. And one
of the ways that she tried to get his attention was by attempting suicide in front of his
housekeeper in this scene. We also find out why Christian Gray always seems to know Where Anna is. Ever since they've known each other. He's had people following her and he's kept extensive
records about where she is and what she's doing. Anna: This isn't a relationship
Christian it's ownership. Kat:Yeah. You tell him!
Anna: I'm trying to understand you.
Kat: What do you get? What do you want out of him, girl?
Anna: Like just wanting to
get close to you.
Kat: Like this. It drives me crazy. Like why, what do I mean, I
get it. He's a rich white man. You know, who's in certain universes attractive, right?
What do you get out of this girl? Like he, there are, you know what, believe it or not, there
are handsome white men with money who aren't going to do this. Why Christian Gray? I don't, I don't
understand. Anna expresses frustration with all the things that he's done up to this point,
including trying to clearly by her affections and sabotage her path to her dream job. Christian
then suggests that they should go to his room and she says,
Anna: sex is not going to fix ths
Kat: All time and has been frustrated with the fact that she can't touch him. And he has never really drawn
clear boundaries. And so he takes this moment to take off his shirt and show her exactly where the
boundaries are. It's clearly a source of trauma For him. I'm very, I'm very
confused. What's going on right now. Okay. I mean, he's like being vulnerable, I
guess.
CG: I'm all yours
Okay. That's kind of cute. Okay. So My nails are so sloppily painted. I like this
color. I don't know if I like this color on me. We'll see how I feel with this. Um, cover.
What is this? This is called solar unicorn skin. Um, I've just been really loving this particular, um, nail varnish. I think that's what they call
it. Okay. So Christian Gray hires this hairdresser and he comes in, does her hair. And then before
they're off to the ball, Christian Gray says that he has something that would make the evening
exciting. And he basically gives her, I don't know what to call these. They're basically anal beads,
but they're for the front and not the back. And, um, she puts them in and she's like curious
and excited and they're off to the ball. How romantical. I'll be honest with you guys. Like
there are so many aspects of this now that I think are a little bit more adorable because at least
at least Anna kind of knows what his deal is now. And I think they've gotten, you know, through
sort of a bit of a hurdle where she was kind of coming understand his stuff and they're
still learning and he's opening up, which was, I love that for him because, you know, I
think he's going to be able to have healthier relationships that way. Um, but, um, yeah, we, we
still don't really know what's going on with that girl. And I think that that's kind of looming over
me right now. It's like, why would this woman be so driven to hurt herself? What did he do? Or is
she just the kind of person who was predisposed to that? I don't know. We're still finding that
out in this movie, but anyway, they're onto the ball now. So they go to the ball and they walk in
together and they are the hot couple at the event. And Christian's mother is really, really happy
that they're back together and they run into Mia who is obviously Mia, you know, she's
a weirdo. So I guess part of this ball is that there is a auction going on for charity and
Christian Gray put up for auction, this vacation in Aspen. And he apparently he has a house up
there cause he's got houses everywhere. And Anna has a great idea. She decides that going
to bid the $24,000, a Christian Gray gave her on this trip so that the money can go
to somebody who really needs it. And this actually kind of turns Christian Gray on,
I guess that this is a continuation of the push and the pull. So they go back
and they managed to do a little bit of a BDSM scene. I guess that now she is more into it,
I guess, which I think is kind of realistic. You know, sometimes you don't really want to
do stuff like that until it feels like it's your idea. And I think that that's kind of, at
least what I'm getting the point of this is, is that she's trying to do this on her terms,
which I think is really healthy. Honestly, the BDSM scene happened in Christian's childhood room
and tucked into a poster is a photo of a young woman who has a similar hairstyle to Anna. Anna I
asked who the woman is and she manages to figure out that it's actually Christian Grey's mother,
but it's obvious that Christian really doesn't want to talk about it. So they need to go back
to the party, but Anna still needs some time to get ready. So Christian leaves before her
and Anna walks out and as she's walking out, there's a man sort of standing on the stairs
and he is looking at some family photos. And when she passes him, the camera makes a
point of capturing that guy, taking a picture of the family pictures. I don't know why, but that's, I guess, to be discovered and our returns
to the party and dances with Christian Gray, she excuses herself to the restroom. And that's
when Elena, Christians, former dominant corners, Anna and tells her about what Christian grade
needs. She says the Christian needs a submissive in life. And that doesn't really seem like what
Anna wants to be in argues that he's changing and that he doesn't need that anymore. And Elena
says that she's not the last woman who he thought could save him. So Anna is really shaken up after
that interaction with Elena and they drive back to Christian Grey's home. When they get to the
garage, they notice that something's wrong. There's a bunch of people surrounding Anna's car.
It turns out that Anna's car was vandalized. Wow. How does he have people following her at all
moments, but isn't watching her car in the garage. Why aren't there people watching the car in the
garage that doesn't really make sense to me on the weekend, Anna and Christian go on a boat ride and
they talk more about Christian Grey's parents. He expresses that he's very thankful to his adopted
mother, Grace for taking him in. And that he tries really hard not to remember his birth mother
and are returned to work. And her boss reminds her about upcoming book expo and he reminds
her that she has to book her own hotel room. Boss: It's expected that my assistant
also attends.
Kat: I'm sure it is. Anna: I didn't know that. I'm sorry.
Boss: Don't apologize. Just get yourself a room. Unless you'd rather stay back with your
boyfriend.
Kat: He's bitter. He's bitter After her conversation with her boss and a text Christian and asked if she could
go to the book fair on the weekend Woman in Boardroom: Philosophy that can motivate
builds a strong community. Kat: What, and so, uh, I'm sorry, I'm watching this. So
she texts Christian saying that she's going to be going to work over the weekend. And Christian
just says, no, uh, like, uh, I hate this guy. Like again, obviously her boss is kind of being
weird or whatever, but this is our job, you know, like I get where he's kind of coming from. Like
he basically wants to pay for her everything and, you know, make it so that she can live off of
him. But like, I don't know for me that [s] really scary because let me just level with you guys,
like, look, you know, I'm a solo polyamorous, you know, girl. So maybe this is me living my life
incorrectly, but I think that women should be, you know, focusing on having something
for themselves, you know, something, because I've known so many women who have gotten
into these relationships where they are completely dependent on their boyfriend,
their husband, their whatever. And then when he's gone, they don't
have anything. So for me on watching Christian Gray, try to sabotage her job over
and over again, even if her boss is creepy, it's, it's kinda hard for me to watch because I
know just looking at this that, you know, he's gonna put her in a position where she is totally
alienated out of having a job, you know? Um, and that's not good for her. And I think that
somebody who really cares about you is going to allow you to have that space, to get your done, to
get your work done, to have a career for yourself. Anna it comes to Christian Gray's home. And
before they get a chance to talk about New York, she starts walking around his house and
eventually sees that the playroom is open. She starts poking around and eventually
Christian Gray comes up behind her. And with a lot of hesitation, they do their
first scene in the playroom since reconnecting Christian. Grey's obviously very hesitant to do
this again because the last time it happened, she freaked out and left. But you know, to
be honest with you guys, I don't know how unrealistic it is for your first time doing BDSM
to be kind of scary and upsetting and, and Christian Gray have sex and then
have a brief conversation about New York. They agree that she's not going to go to
New York for the book fair. The next day, she goes into work and talks to her boss about how
she's not going to be able to make it to New York. And her boss corners her into his office and
basically tells her that if she's going to [f] her way to the top, she needs to stick with
him and not Christian Gray.
Boss: I just think If you're going to [f] your way to
prominence, you should do it with someone. Wow. Uh, I feel like in the mythology of this movie,
this guy has to be a person, but I want to say Christian Gray Sabotaging her work. That's bad. That's bad. This
dude being an, that's bad. These things are both bad. You know, of course I think the movie is
trying to say, Oh, look, Christian grey was right for being protected. And for, you know, not
wanting her to go alone with him to New York. And look, I agree creep obviously creep, right? But
that doesn't negate. The fact that Christian Gray was attempting to sabotage her professionally.
And I don't think that that's okay Anna manages to get out of the office by kicking
him and running downstairs where Christian Gray is very conveniently waiting for her. Christian
almost goes up and fights with the boss himself. But instead he sends one of his security
guards because Anna needs to be comforted back at Christian Grey's home. We see
that he's calling several of his contacts to make sure that her boss no longer has access
to many of the things that he currently does. Christian grey tells Anna that she
won't have to worry about him anymore. And he asks her to move in with him.
She says, she'll think about it. The next day she goes into work and she's
essentially asked to replace her boss temporarily after her day at work. She goes
to dinner with Christian Gray. And of course she's very suspicious of the fact that she's now
working the job that our previous boss worked, Christian ensures that he had nothing to do with
it. He asks her again, whether or not she wants to move in. And she essentially says, yes, in fact,
she says that they should take the celebration back home. Christian asks Anna to take off her
panties at the dinner table. And she does. They go to an elevator and in a crowded elevator,
Christian starts fingering her, Oh my God, Geez. They're in a small little space
and he's bringing her to orgasm. I have to say that that is very, very, very
inappropriate, very inappropriate indeed. So they get to his apartment and Christian Gray has
a phone call or something. And Anna walks off to his pool room. I don't know what room this is
so that she can make him wait, the way that he's made her. Eventually Christian Gray comes into
the pool room and they play a game of pool. And they're very, very playfully doing the push and
pull thing they do throughout this entire film. And they eventually have sex over the pool table.
Okay. Like I said, everyone, it has their own philosophy when it comes to BDSM. So I'm not going
to say that like what I like or what I'm into is what everyone should be into. But I think for
me personally, as a submissive, what I enjoy about having sex with a person who I'm doing with,
which is, I usually don't have sex with people. I do BDSM with, but when I
do what I enjoy is sort of having this full, intense scene that was physically challenging for
me. And then being released from that, and then subsequently in some sort of bottom or sub space
that I enjoy what sex feels like after we'd done all of that stuff. You know, like, I don't know,
like, I guess I get turned on by my partner who I know I have sex with doing BDSM-y things to me, but if we jumped right to sex, I think it would be not
very exciting for me, but obviously we've already established that Anna doesn't really like the
Spanky thing that much. So maybe this is what they do and that's fine. That's totally fine. Everyone
has their thing. Anna it gets in the next day. And we finally see the woman who is now
working in the job that Anna used to have. This black woman was there before she got, she
got here, right? Like she was there the first day she started working. It's gotta be frustrating to
watch, uh, you know, somebody who was the boss's assistant move up so quickly. And she's a black
woman girl, you know, I can't watch these movies without thinking about this [s].
after work, Christian
Gray drives her to her old apartment so that she can retrieve some old things haven't heard from
that girl at a while. I wonder what's going on with that. Speak of the devil literally tests
this and said that while retrieving her things, Christians, former submissive appears and points
a gun directly at her. She expresses her jealousy and says that Anna isn't good enough for Christian
Gray Christian comes into the apartment and manages to stop his former submissive from hurting
Anna. He tells Anna to wait back at home so that he can take care of his former submissive. And
obviously this is confusing and upsetting to Anna. Yep. Yeah. Walk away. Yeah. [f] him. [f] him girl. This whole
situation really upsets Anna. She leaves her phone and her purse and everything, and just starts
aimlessly walking around the city. Eventually she does show up to Christian Grey's apartment and
they have a conversation about what just happened. And it feels very insecure because she knows
that she will never be as submissive as his former submissive don't, y'all get tired of
this though. Like some of it's exhausting to you. You have a conversation about whether or
not Christian has ever going to feel the need to have a submissive again, in the way
that he used to with this former submissive. And this is where Christian finally makes a
clarification about his desire to dominate and also reveals the reason
why he likes what he likes. CG: I'm not a dominant.. I, I... the right term is a sadist. I get off on punishing women.. women who look-
Anna: like your mother..
CG: Yes, and I know how [f]'d up that is. The two go to bed. And Christian
starts having a bad dream Anna runs to wake him up. And he
wakes up and turns over and says to her, CG: Marry me... I want you to marry me.
Kat: What sir??? Next day, Anna wakes up and
Christian is in the gym, working out. She asks him if he remembers
what he said last night. And he says, Why? Because I want to spend every second
of the rest of my life with you. We still Have some stuff to talk about, sir, Your ex tries to kill me and now you want to
marry me. I'm sorry. We've got some stuff to talk about the next day at work. She gets a phone
call for Mia and Mia wants Anna's opinion on what she should get Christian for his birthday. It's at
then where she realizes that she doesn't actually know Christian Grey's birthday. And she asked when
his birthday actually is. Mia tells her that it's Sunday and that her parents are actually throwing
a really big party and celebration for him after work. She goes to a little kiosk and purchases,
a small little gift for Christian Gray. She meets Christian grey after work, asks him about his
birthday. She hands him the gift and says that he can't open it until it's his birthday. She
notices that Taylor, his driver isn't with him CG: Because my bag, I have to go to Portland.
I'll be back tomorrow night. Ooh, Christian Gray flies to Portland and
his helicopter, but he decided to take a different route. This turned out to
be a really bad idea and his helicopter malfunctioned and crashed in the woods, out of
the sites to go out for a drink with her old roommate who is dating Christian's brother.
She tells them about their engagement. And soon after Christian's brother gets a phone call
informing him of the car crash. They all rush to Christian's apartment and watch news coverage of
the car crash. Hoping that he's going to be okay. Suddenly Christian appears in the apartment
and all is well excited to see him. Anna has sex with Christian grey after the family
leaves. Girl, where's the conflict though. Okay. So we are at an hour and 51 minutes. We have
20 minutes left in this movie and you know what, to be honest, like where where's the conflict?
You know, like where is the conflict here? You know, like, okay. He almost died in a car
crash, but everything seems so inconsequential. Do you know what I mean? Like the girl seemed
inconsequential, you know, the car, the plane crashed him in consequential. He literally
crashed and recovered and is [f]'n within the next day, you know, like there's really no conflict
in this movie. Not really. This is all fairly low stakes stuff. And that didn't really
have any bearing on the plot or their relationship or really anything like, yes, it's scary
that he could have died or whatever, but like he doesn't. And I think we all knew he wouldn't.
So I think I would have wanted there to be something more complicated. Like what if Christian
Gray were like kidnapped or some like, you know, like, why did his plane go down? I'm like, we
don't know. Like, it almost seems like it could have been some sort of sabotage of some sort,
but that almost that whole almost could've just Not happened. Anna calls her mother and tells her that not only
did she get back together with Christian Gray, but that they're going to get married. And
her mother seems really, really happy for her. They go to Christian Grey's birthday
party and everybody's there including Elena, they have a really awkward exchange. And
then after that Christian announces to the room that he's marrying Anna, Elena storms
out of the room after the announcement, Elena accosts Anna and says, she's just
trying to use him for money. Christian breaks the argument up and her mother forbades
her from ever returning to her home, Christian and Anna walked to the greenhouse where they had
their first big argument and Christian formerly proposes to her and it, and Christian watched
the fireworks. And from across the Lake, you see a man watching the fireworks from afar. The
camera reveals that the man is Anna's former boss It's at this point that we recognized that he was
the man who took the picture of the family early on in the film. He takes a cigarette and burns a
hole through Christian Gray. And that is how this movie ends. All right. So I took my hair down.
Don't love it, finished my makeup also. Don't love it, but it's also three 25 in the morning right
now, as I film this. So I'm not going to act like, um, it's that big of a deal. We did our makeup. We
did nails, nails, look, trash makeup looks trash, I guess that is fitting for this movie.
So I want to start out by saying that in general, I feel really bored watching
this movie. I mean, I liked that. I watched it and because I am curious where it goes, but you
know, honestly, after watching this whole thing, this didn't have a lot of meat in it. A lot of you guys told me that the second
and third movies are not that good. And I'm going to agree because I think I felt like there
was more, um, there's more at stake in the first movie. Like this almost could have been a 40
minute short film. And I feel like we would have gotten the same amount of drama, the same amount
of, you know, stakes. My biggest criticism overall of the film is that the stakes were too low.
So what were the conflicts in this movie we had on Anna's boss, we had the girl and we had Elena
and I guess the car crash, I guess that's a lot of things, but none of them really seemed very
important. I really wish we had more time with Christian's ex the reason why I wanted to
do these videos, just to really talk about, you know, how I feel about this stuff as a BDSMer, because I do really feel like there are some miscommunications and things that could
happen if you are not part of the BDSM community again is one of those things where there are
a lot of people who have a lot of philosophies and oftentimes those philosophies do not line up. I've got my philosophy. My philosophy is one
that puts consent at the forefront event. You don't force your kinks on the strangers. You
don't push that onto people who don't want it. So I've got my issues with Christian Gray.
For that reason, I thought that there was less of a focus on BDSM, which I guess is part of the
story. She's trying to push him away from. So I thought that was good at that. That was
great. Um, but there are some other things that I wanted to talk to you guys about in
this, in this video. So first and foremost, I think that one of the things that we dash over
a lot, when we talk about this film is the obvious abuse I did not like the way that Christian Gray
went out of his way to sabotage Anna's career. Now, of course, we found out that the boss was
a creep or whatever, and I'm assuming that he's going to be even more of a creep from what I
can piece together from the end of this movie. But at the end of the day, I really did not like
that. He was working to destabilize her working environment. To me, a classic sign of abuse
is when somebody tries to alienate you from everything around you. So that, they're the only
thing in your life, the only source of anything in your world. And that's clearly what Christian Gray
wants to do. And more so than his interest in BDSM I think it's tendency and desire to do that
is what makes him a shifty character when it comes to his. He actually seems quite good
about it because he actually, isn't trying to force her into doing BDSM with him, which I think is a
good thing. I think that this film was trying to say that because Christian Gray had a negative
experience with one of his former submissives, that that may indeed mean that he's going to have
negative experiences with his new submissive. I've had people that were interested in
playing with me, who I later through the grape vine found out, were abusive. And I had to
ask around about them before I figured that out. And I heard the same story over and over
and over again. I think sometimes it's hard in the BDSM community to know like what's what, because
someone's bad experience does not mean that you're going to have a bad experience, but at the end of
the day, there are certain people who have repeat behavior, um, who continue to do bad things. And
those people definitely deserve to be ousted and to not have access to people. And I think that
good dominants are honest about their mistakes. Um, that's one of the things that I've kind
of started to learn as I socialize with more dominants is that, you know, they will
tell you where they're, they've messed up. My partner, my partner Nathan has messed up in
the past and he has said, Hey, I did this. This was a mistake that I made and I am sorry. So
I guess that's another mark against him is he didn't really want to talk about the mistakes
that he made. He just basically wanted to say, Oh, she's crazy. And to me, you know, whenever
you meet a guy who's, exes are always crazy. There's something wrong there it's I don't think
that, no, I don't think anybody just attracts this just endless stream of crazy people. And to
the point where there is no sane ex, that is there's some up there. The fact that
he's not quite willing to go into Detail about what went wrong, all he can say
was she was crazy and she wanted more and I couldn't give it to her. Some people could say
that her wanting aftercare, which is normal, a normal thing to ask is her wanting more. Right.
But really for me, it's just part of it. It's just part of it. Now, of course, if you're young
and you don't really know how to negotiate, I might totally overlook that. You know, it, you might not even know
that that's a thing that you need, right. Uh, at the end of the day, I do believe that it
is the role of the dominant to be the person who is more aware of the way that these things
can go and to be prepared for that. So him not really negotiating if that's what happened- him not
really negotiating what her wants and needs are, that's not, that's not good BDSM in my personal, I actually really, really appreciate that
he clarified that he is not a dominant, but that he is a sadist, because I think
that there is a pretty big difference between being a dominant and being a sadist, obviously a
lot of dominants are sadists, but there are some people that like really enjoy sort of taking on
that dominant role and maybe that does have sadism attached to it. And then there are some people
who like genuinely get off on just seeing women in pain and, you know, um, as an aside about this, I
understand how a lot of people who are outside of the community can look at that and say that that's
misogynistic and dah, dah, dah, dah. And there are, there's a lot of twinges of massage.
And throughout this film, I will say, um, but I don't think that the idea of a man
spanking a woman is inherently misogynistic. I don't think the idea of that specific
dynamic is misogynistic. That all being said, it's clear, obviously from this film that
Christian Gray has a bit of an issue, um, with women. I think he has consistently
gone after women who look like his mom. And that to me does speak to somewhat of an issue with
women in general. Um, but I don't think that that is something that you can tell based solely on his
desire to do BDSM. I think that's a lot more apparent and his desire to destabilize Anna and
to make it so that she is only existing for him. Um, that's a very classic thing that,
um, misogynists believe. And I think that, that, that speaks volumes. So I wanted to talk
really quickly about trauma and because it's very obvious that Christian Gray has some degree
of trauma that has led him to his interest. And, you know, first and foremost, um, obviously
I'm having these conversations in this video as somebody who is taking all of this at face value,
I'm treating all of these people as though they are real people and criticizing them based on
that. But I will say that just from what I've seen so far, I think that, um, whoever wrote this
movie whose name is escaping me at this point, cause who cares honestly, um, E.L. James,
I think that's who, who wrote it. Um, I think that she does not have a really good
understanding of BDSM or she has a very shallow understanding of. It's a very classic idea that
once somebody experiences some sort of trauma, they are now into this very specific
fetish, right. And that's true. That's very, very common people do deal with trauma and
that does sometimes translate into their BDSM. But what I want to push back on a little
bit is this idea that everyone who does is deeply traumatized in some way, and that's why
they do what they do, because I don't think that that's really particularly true now, quite a few
people that I personally know in the community do have some degree of experience with trauma.
Personally, for me, I've dealt with a lot of trauma. If you are a regular subscriber
of mine and you watch my truTV videos, you know, I talk a lot about my trauma and
I will say that part of my interest in, part of my desire to participate in has
been me really figuring out ways to, Um, process, um, Consent and boundaries in a way that I wasn't
really allowed to, you know, in, in previous parts of my life, I really appreciate that.
I can look at the things that happened to me way back when that were violent and were upsetting
and that I can understand those things as wrong and that I could via VSM state what my boundaries
are, because a lot of people don't ever have that conversation, especially if you're a woman,
obviously we have these very surface level conversations about women claiming boundaries,
right. But we don't often actually talk about saying no. Um, and, and, and, and we don't
often tell men to accept no. And for me, part of my, um, appreciation for and
the way that it functions in my life has been the fact that I can say
no. And that theoretically on paper, the people who I'm doing with will
respect that or should respect that. Um, and so I guess that's kind of,
um, what I wanted to sort of say, I think it's like just a classic trope of
like this very traumatized guy, you know, grows up and is interested in BDSM. Again, I think this
is a very surface level understanding of. So I'm definitely overthinking and over-analyzing it. But
I would like for people to understand that, yes, some people who do BDSM have experienced some degree
of trauma. Yes. But that doesn't mean that they are going to now turn that trauma into violence
against other people. Not necessarily for some of us, it's about figuring out ways in
which to draw boundaries for ourselves. And so that's the way that I personally feel
it, obviously everybody else is different. Um, but I just wanted to argue for that because
I think that it's, you know, they, they took the truth of some people who do have experienced
trauma and then translate that into something much different than what at least
I've seen it be for a lot of people. You know, what's so frustrating about
these films is that there are so many really interesting nuances that come with BDSM.
There are so many really interesting like stories to be told, especially when it comes
to trauma, but they chose like the most simple, most commonly understood slash misunderstood, um,
understanding of BDSM. I said in my first video, in this series that I actually think that Christian
would be way better as a submissive. I think that if you, as a submissive, that would, that would
really change things. I think that would really be interesting because men like Christian Gray
often are, you know, men like Christian Gray often are submissive. You know, even if we are
to connect this to his trauma, you know, there are some, some people who were, um, disempowered
when they were younger, who enjoy being empowered when they're older, there are also some people
who enjoyed in a very controlled way, embodying disempowerment or being disempowered, but in a
controlled setting where they felt safe to do so. Um, and I think that it could have gone that
way as well. Um, if we were to, you know, I think make it a little bit more interesting
because again, I know so many people, um, who are like Christian Gray, but they're not often
dominance. Not really. There are some people, some people like that, but a lot of times the
men who rule everything control everything, you know, who have all the money and all the
resources that they don't then want to be dominant on top of that in their private life. That's
just not super common, at least in my Circles. Anyway, on that note, hopefully you guys
enjoyed this review. Also, if you guys want me to review other stuff, please let me know what
you are wanting. Um, there's a couple of things that I sort of have on my list. Tentatively. I got
a lot of requests for secretary. I know I've seen secretary like when I was in film school, but I do
not remember anything about it. I'm also watching through the Twilight series because apparently 50
shades of gray is nothing but a Twilight fanfic, which I'm only seeing the first
Twilight movie at this point. I kind of see it a little bit. I do see some of
it, but I'm assuming that I am assuming that the, it will be more obvious as I watch
more twilights. So hopefully you guys enjoy this video. I am going to go, I'm
going to do something with this makeup. Cause I just didn't. I just realized I just did
my makeup and it's four o'clock in the morning and girl, what am I, what am I doing with
my life? Like, what am I, where am I going? What am I doing? What am I doing? So, yeah.
Anyway, on that note, if you made it through this entire video, please put this emoji in the
comment box below. I thought I'd throw that in for this video. Cause y'all people, regular
viewers know about the emoji cause they're part of the cool kids club. But if you're
aren't part of the cool kids club yet, um, I'm not, I'm not going to tell
you that you need to put the emoji in the comment section, but I will say that
a very handsome, very sexy Dommy McDommerson person with lots of money and lots of cars
and hella is going to be interested in you. If you put the emoji in the comment
box, I think, you know, I think that he might find you more attractive if you did
that. If you just did that for, for him. Um, I think that he would really appreciate that quite
a bit. And you'd be part of the cool kids club, which basically means that you're part of the
coolest club on campus. So, you know, it's up to you do what you want to do. You know, what am
I, who am I to tell you what to do with your life? You're so cute with her. Well, your little Canasta
club or whatever you go and have fun over there, but we're going to be over here with the cool
kids because we put the emoji and the comment section. I'll talk to you guys next time. Bye.
