Fifty Shades of what am I Doing with My Life (Fifty Shades of Grey rant)

alright due to popular demand welcome to 50 shades of what the [ __ ] am I doing with my life so if there's white lights what the nation there was obviously a slew of amateur writers that flocked to their computers to write fanfiction because the Intendant 14 stories didn't quite get as steamy as they were secretly hoping a hopscotch in a pseudo porn later and we have 50 shades of grey the steamy trilogy that middle-aged women used to get back into reading still yelling at their husbands for watching porn while simultaneously imagine a torrid abuse of love affair with Christian Grey in this entire Empire of messed up started with Twilight's and while I do have a self appreciation for Twilight no matter how ridiculous it is there is a part of me that has just a great time watching that like teal blue wash monstrosity of a gorgeous film die die those sentiments do not carry into this though there are many similarities between Twilight and Fifty Shades and Al James somehow managed to make Christians behavior more concerning than a literal vampire who breaks into people's bedrooms again literal vampire who compares the center of Bella to heroine and how her blood would be his exact flavor not as concerning as this human man that's impressive now obviously despite all the jokes about this series they were a massive success because if there's anything that people liked more than the fanfiction its fanfiction in book form so they can feel like they're actually reading literature and the success led to the inevitable film series which admittedly had to be hard to juggle as something to tell which shitty portrayals of BDSM but still had to be super popular in like mainstream accessible to some degree now even though this was probably fanfiction there's actually a shocking number of similarities that you assume might have been edited out or moved around in certain ways to just like alleviate how obvious it was that this was Twilight fan fiction and that Christian is Edward and Anastasia is Bella and a lot of these similarities are noticeable right out the gate so when the movie stars Christian has this instant interest in Anastasia because she has this like timid lamb like demeanor which is very similar to the interest between Edward and Bella except this time the danger doesn't come from the fact that he's a vampire it's abusive expressions of BDSM brought on by childhood abuse and trauma yikes but the way they go about showing Ana as meek and submissive and overly innocent is pretty dumb I bring you to this are you gay it's written here I'm just okay I would like to point out that just before this when her friend who was sick and can't interview Christian gray asks are you sure you can handle this she says I have a 4.0 GPA she has a 4.0 GPA but she lacks the critical thinking to process what she's reading on a piece of paper before she says it out loud go yourself San Diego but before we get into the plot I guess we'll say well before we get into the plot let's talk about some of the other ways that this is just so so undeniably Twilight fan fiction immediately right off the bat we have two virgin 'el girls that they don't really date as mentioned before Christian is completely incapable of leaving her alone even though he says things like I need to leave you alone and Twilight Edward has like sudo adoptive parents because he gets turned into a vampire during the Spanish Influenza so Carlisle and Esme become he's like pseudo adoptive parents in the vampire life and in Fifty Shades Christian has adoptive parents and this next one might seem a little bit trivial but they both have names that are kind of extended and older sounding names but they both prefer the shorthand so Isabella prefers being called Bella and a Stasia prefers being called ana and then the same note a lot of the times they'll just call them miss steale or Miss Swan also the name Anastasia Steele is such a poor name going on in the series is happening ana is about to graduate university as an English literature major Bella was super into English Lit and probably would have done something with English and university you know she hadn't popped out a demon CGI baby and got turned into a vampire they both have friends that want more from them they both come across this mysterious guy who has tons of cash is super interested in learning more about them Edward because of his specific heroin like blood lust for her and the fact that he can't read her mind and Christian because he's a [ __ ] weirdo there's a very clear oral fixation with both Bella and they both end up as these characters where so many different people are fighting for their affection bella naina both have the same mom background stories parents are divorced live in different areas Christian network both have reasons why they don't want to get closer to Ana and Bella respectively but then they just physically can't stop themselves from getting closer to them Christian saves Ana from getting hit by a bike Edward saves bill from getting hit by a car edward and christian both play piano and they make sure to actually demonstrate this in the movies and christian almost tries to make the same pain faces edward except the big reveal isn't that he's been 17 years old for hundreds of years and that he's a vampire it's a sex dungeon i think one of the most damning pieces of evidence that al james literally just tried to follow the rubric of Stephenie Meyer's career she ended up writing the books from Christians perspective which was actually something Stephenie Meyer was in the process of doing with Edward until someone leaked the first handful of chapters and she just refused to finish because you know might as well punish your entire fan base because somebody you trusted with chapters leaked them and as many issues as there are with Edwards behavior as I kind of mentioned in my video when I was talking about the television show you Christian is all those problems to the extreme but without any kind of like sexual boundaries or respect so as mentioned before he obviously meets Anna in his office and instantly becomes obsessed so much so that he just shows up at her place of work because he's literally stalking her so because she's just so enamored by the fact that he's stalked her in this hardware store they agree to go have a little bite to eat after and he's almost instantly like this was a mistake I can't see you anymore which was very similar to Edward and Twilight when he's like okay I'm actually like way more into you then I should be I should stay away from you which you know is kind of the responsible thing to do when you're a vampire and that's like a human and your whole family might get exposed but you know again in Fifty Shades it's because he doesn't think she's up for being a literal sex toy but again like Edward he just can't stay away he finds out that she's drunk he literally tracks her down at some bar and pulls her out of the situation which I'm assuming is supposed to kind of feel like that moment in Twilight where Edward just threatens all those guys who are like hanging around Bella when she was just walking back from a bookstore which getting Twilight was still creepy because he openly admits to stalking her around but with Fifty Shades of Grey he's somehow just manages to like ping her cell phone location or something and just finds her and is just super upset that she's been drinking even though they have like no anything at this point again because he just can't stay away he Springs an NDA on her an NDA and not like if you ever seen any of my business dealings you can't share them type NDA button I'm gonna want to smack you around a little bit and you can't tell people that I'm into smacking women around kind of NDA I don't make love so at this point she clearly doesn't really know what she's in for she's thinking like okay like maybe some handcuffing and some little maybe a little bit of choking and some some Spanx then he brings her into the playroom thank your xbox and stuff and then simultaneously while still trying to get her on board with all of this like BDSM stuff he asks her to move in and she'd get her own room and like not like this is your space that you can use whenever you want to but this is where you're gonna sleep but I'm gonna insist you sleep here but we can't sleep in the same room because that just doesn't happen so she obviously points out all of the issues with this being weird and how she doesn't really want to so he tries to seduce her into getting the yes and then she reveals that she's a virgin and instead of him being even more like okay this is probably not gonna work we're definitely not sexually compatible he goes for the classic virgin idealization the untouched prize and then blesses her with some like vanilla sex I guess to rectify the situation it's all just so gross and I know the book is worse but it's still so gross so he asks her to be as submissive and he's super possessive and then says things like I'll be devoted to you except it's not devotion its obsession and thankfully she gets a hell of a lot more bold here tries to set some boundaries but dudes playing some weird Stockholm Syndrome vibe stuff like if you just go along with it and you let me make all your choices for you your life will be so much easier and then it is the real weird thing by trying to make her feel special by being like I just had totally regular normal sex with you and let you fall asleep in this bed with me do you realize how special you are is the epitome of everything you could ever want so at this point you find out he was sexually abused when he was 15 by his adoptive mom's friend I think in simulator in sum once you find out that he was actually abused in like the first home he was in so you know he's the victim of childhood sexual abuse and grooming and it's permanently [ __ ] him up for life and is making him act in these ways that so many people are finding just absolutely romantic and this is one of the things he links back to to explain why she would just be so happy just to be submissive to him and it would be so much easier if she just let him make all the decisions it's so it's so shitty and weird and I'm really glad that she points out that all the things he went through a worst sexual abuse and that she was like a child predator because I'm actually like kind of sick of people trying to normalize these situations when it's like a teenage or young boy and an older woman cuz people like oh ho what a lucky guy they secretly want it like no it's not cool at all those people should be in jail stop trying to normalize it and also ladies if anyone says that [ __ ] to you like I mean if anyone says that you should just be submissive to me because it'll make your life a hell of a lot easier just run men if any ladies say that to you just run everybody run from these people I'd also like to mention that the contract that he gives her specifically states that things are supposed to be consensual and agreed upon but Christian breaks those rules all the time and I think it's actually worse in the book so she starts reading through this insane contract and ends up sending a message being like it was nice knowing you and this unhinged individual appears inside of her apartment and instead of completely freaking out about how he's there she just goes right back to being meek and then is obviously into the sex that they have but obviously this is all before they make the crazy BDSM rules we then get this lovely scene where they go through the contracts item by item and remove such things as fisting there is no chance this video staying monetized is there it's fine which like yeah girl protect yourself if you're gonna sign a sex contract with this like unhinged dude you should really you know just check the fine print and then as they're doing this he out of the goodness of his heart says you know what since you're so down to consider playing ball we'll add in an addendum one night a week you get a real date with normal things that don't involve me hitting you what a catch I'm not trying to kink shame anybody here but I think it's been like very well stated that how this movie and book portray the BDSM lifestyle is like very unhealthy very wrong and not okay and Christian's behavior in this movie are not okay I'm talking about from that standpoint not for what you personally like to do in the bedroom so she isn't graduating and then he somehow like gets the keys to her car and sells it and then gets her a new one and then because she rolls her eyes at how ridiculous that is he ends up like spanking her it's so weird and that's the kind of thing that people would do to get control over another person cuz now it's like even if it's her car he's the one who spent a ton of money on it for her it's just it's so weird like this is literally full-time domination there's no distinction between what's going on in their day-to-day life and what he expects to happen in the bedroom he's trying to control every aspect of her being so after the spanking he leaves her high and dry and she's obviously conflicted by this whole situation talks to her mom is super upset and decides that she should probably go visit her in a different state and then makes up the next morning like nothing happened she's I've seen Christian again later that day and she's finally shown the dungeon or I'm sorry the playroom and after the scene there's still people out there trying to say that they're driving interest and you know watching this movie has nothing to do with sex so to this they go visit the great parents and he gets upset when she won't let him finger her at the dinner table he then gets really upset when he finds out that she's going to visit her mom but it's okay cuz he resolves this inner turmoil by like you know looking in on himself and why he feels the need to control this person I'm just joking he just shows up in Georgia and just starts hanging out with them uninvited Oh and also takes the alcohol away from her because apparently she's not an adult and can't make her own decisions ladies this is not romantic this is not protective this is abusive I think he also controls her food intake a lot and how many times can they do the like Christian appears she jumps and squeaks Oh meat like with the sharp intake of breath so after all this you finally get that why can't you just love me normally conversation and honey I'ma be honest it's because he has years and years of unchecked physical sexual and mental abuse that he has not talked to anybody about and is instead just buried by trying to control everything else around him there is nothing healthy about this man he ends up showing her exactly what he wants to do to her she gets super upset and is like you know what I'm not what you want I am not what you want and then he says you're everything I want clearly she's not I think you like her more because she doesn't immediately like submit to the things that you want but you still want control over everything it's basically like you like the fact that she's meek and kind of submissive but then kind of pushes a fight against you so that you have like I don't want to go too deep into trying to analyze Fifty Shades of Grey but they're trying really hard to make this seem romantic but it's just so messed up and then shockingly it ends with her leaving after she gets upset and realizes that that's not something that they're gonna be compatible with and that's just the way it should end bold brave go on with your life girl and forget about the guy they would rather control yours instead of going to therapy but obviously that's not how the story ends because there are two more of these sons of [ __ ] and I will say I think the last one turns into like a straight-up action movie almost there's all sorts of crazy stuff that happens in the next couple ones so like you guys want me to talk about those ones let me know but I think that's about as much Fifty Shades as I can handle for right now I'm still so shocked that this god is popular as it did it but it's like I guess it's basically all the things that like Twilight did on a teenage standpoint like marketed to middle-aged women but I just urge anybody who actually thinks that this kind of behavior is romantic and these are traits that they would want to see in their partner to just stop and evaluate like I get it he's rich it's so exciting you're gonna have a great life but like no if you kind of want to consider the realistic side of that go watch even just the intro to the Invisible Man and that kind of gives you a little bit more of an accurate portrayal of what somebody who has a lot of money and a super controlling is gonna result in your life but that is gonna do for today's video let me know what you guys are thinking any comments section down below you want me do the other 250 say these movies please let me know down below I guess I could do one of those like if this hits this many likes I'll do it so I don't I don't even know how many I don't know if this gets to thousand likes yeah we'll go with that if this gets to thousand likes we'll do the next one thank you so much for watching hope you're having a fantastic day and we'll catch you all later you

Channel: Amanda the Jedi

Views: 865,603

Keywords: fifty shades of grey, reacting to, reacting to fifty shades of grey, dakota johnson, jamie dornan, twilight, twilight fanfiction, master of the universe, christian grey, Fifty Shades is a Disaster, rant, everything wrong with fifty shades of grey, horrible movies, el james, stephenie meyer, 50 shades of grey, fifty shades, anastasia steele, fifty shades darker, fifty shades freed, book adaptation, movie review, bad fanfiction, fifty shades rant, christian and ana, cringe

Id: VoTO00MTf-4

Length: 15min 51sec (951 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 05 2020