A Million Ways to Die in the West : How you can die HD CLIP

albert i know everything seems hopeless right now but i promise you there's so much to live for really is there what is there to live for on the frontier in 1882 huh but let me tell you something we live in a terrible place in time the american west is a disgusting awful dirty dangerous place look around you everything out here that's not you wants to kill you outlaws angry drunk people scorned hookers hungry animals diseases major and minor injuries indians the weather you you can get killed just going to the bathroom i take my life in my hands every time i walk out to my outhouse this rattlesnake's all in the grass out there and and even if i make it you know what can kill me cholera you know cholera the black sh the latest offering in the frontiers disease of the month club and and even if you survive all those things you know what else can kill you the doctor the doctor can kill you i had a cold a couple years ago i went in there you know what he said to me he goes oh you need an ear nail a nail in my ear that is modern medicine for you yeah doc i have a fever of 102. oh you need a donkey kicking you know our pastor has shot two people our pastor no no honest to god shot a guy in a duel and then went back and killed the guy's teenage son because he was afraid he would kill him out of revenge wait how do you know that because he did a whole sermon about it a lesson about seeing things through by the way look at this see those guys over there the guys who work in the silver mines see what they're eating ribs doused in hot sauce they eat hot spicy foods every meal of the day you know why because their palates are so completely dulled from inhaling poison gas 12 hours a day down in the mines that's all they can taste you know what that kind of diet does to your guts constipation cramps dyspepsia liver disease kidney disease hemorrhoids bowel inflammation they literally die from their own farts and oh oh you want to see more death all we got to do is get up and walk out the front door that is our mayor he is dead he has been lying there dead for three days no one has done a thing not moved him not looked into his death not even replaced him with a temporary appointee for the last three days the highest ranking official in our town has been a dead guy oh look at that look at that wolves are dragging the body away as if to illustrate my point bye bye mr mayor bye have fun becoming wolves by god that my friends is the american west a disgusting awful dirty cesspool of despair and all of it why don't you shut up you shut up ow ruth jesus jesus christ stop it okay fine at least have dr harper take a look at it tomorrow if you can hear yourself right now you know what's gonna happen if i go to dr harper and i say look take a look at that he's gonna say oh that looks like it hurts let me give you a blue jay to peck out the blood maybe you should i don't know maybe you should try to talk to louise that's a great idea yeah that's the jackpot that's the jackpot okay okay i have good ideas sometimes i didn't mean now hey hey dude you really shouldn't drink a horse no no no no no yeah there you okay

Channel: Binge Society

Views: 1,621,434

Keywords: A Million Ways to Die in the West, BSOIMSS4E642, Universal, clips, comedy, entertainement, eric heffron, joseph j micucci, movies, seth macfarlane, tt2557490, western

Id: e6c74TiS5QQ

Length: 3min 58sec (238 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 02 2020