Aѕmongold Reacts to The Most Pathetic Alpha Male | by Philion

instead they want to go on facebook and go men are the enemy men are pigs why did he do it i can't believe he did it i'm so confused what are you confused about bitch when's the last time you cooked in dinner oh my god i have to say i've been hearing a lot of conversation about a certain individual i'm gonna be honest i'm curious to see what what he's gonna say like andrew yeah is he a giga chad or or what like i don't know what this is i i'll have to see what happens all right here we go every time i progress in the youtube battle pass a new alpha male gets unlocked yeah you know we have to make a video about them you see goofing on alpha males is a special talent of mine usually because they're uneducated walking balls of cringe that lack any form of self-awareness so i'm able to pick apart their pseudoscience like a goddamn surgeon or just laugh at the absurdity of what they're trying to say i find it really ironic whenever dudes constantly talk shit about girls who are into astrology meanwhile they're the same men who repost stock images of wolves on their instagram stories with the latest and greatest sigma mail quotes okay i gotta take a piss this is gonna be a good one this is gonna be a fucking good one i i agree with that um i feel like nfts are uh astrology for men it's like the thing is that like we had like as guys right like we had this one thing over on girls is like at least we didn't get into astrology right and like you could be like damn like they get into this dumb shit like man we're smarter than that we don't do that and then what do we do we come up with something even stupider than that even stupider than that yeah and then we invent these fucking nfts and people are trading around fucking pictures of a monkey and then somehow this is supposed to be better it is awful yeah it's like we had this this one thing man wash your head why don't i wash my hands dude i have a clean dick why did i do that all right let's go the guys who subscribe to these made up ideologies are usually so detached from reality it would be a waste of everyone's time if you try to argue rationalize or even just sit down and listen to what they have to say because they're way too far gone so who do you think is a bigger simp the guys that are the fucking ones that follow these like internet alpha males or the guys that subscribe to girls on only fans who who do you think the bigger group of sims are both yeah it's the the same guys yeah there we go these are the exact same dudes who look up tutorials on youtube on how to sleep with more women how long they should wait in between sending text messages to increase their chances of getting laid and they throw money itself oh my god it's just it's so sad it's so sad because like the thing is like i ha have you ever double texted a girl have you ever done that like she didn't respond when you text her again yes i do it regularly yeah i do it regularly uh have not please respond now there was one time that like izzy blocked me on twitter or she got we got in a big fight and i said something to the effect the police respond after she was ignoring me for like three days so i i'm not immune to this it's okay right only one's close friends with yeah that that's what it was please no the thing yeah please come back yeah that's what it was yeah simp okay listen it was it was she what yeah i got whipped yeah all right all right i don't fish in a sentence sure help gurus goddamn strippers at a nightclub yeah i see right through their ultra machismo that they grasp onto like the fucking golden snitch in harry potter oh my god in halo someone or something questions their fragile masculinity that they try so hard to hide from the world they shatter like a christmas ornament being spiked at a concrete wall the supreme douche nozzle that we're covering today creates imaginary fights with invisible people oh my truly a spectacle oh my god this is bro like he's going in like he's he's just going in like this is nuts behold and i think a lot of psychologists and psychiatrists will have a field day watching this video in between his misogynistic troglodyte rants he'll tell you about how much pussy he slays and how much money he makes but don't worry boys you too can be as cool as him if you buy his program for 49 join what he calls the war room and enroll in hustlers university i swear is university oh my god like the the sad that like i bought 10 yeah i mean it's just a hustler's university to be honest it's really funny to make fun of this stuff but at the same time it's kind of sad it's kind of sad that these guys are just so that they're so lost in life in how to be a man or how to be in society that they're trying to find these like internet dads to tell them that they're a bad boy or a good boy it's so sad man yeah this astrology stuff doesn't seem too bad oh my god yeah it's just fucking sad to see this goddamn fucking make this up hustlers university the first video we're gonna watch is called girls that are baffled by cheating i'm warning you guys i don't think we've reached this level of cringe yet is this real i'm getting more high tech with my intros as you can see so today's topic is girls who are baffled by cheating every day i scroll through facebook i'm looking for a particular post i'm looking for those fucking bimbos who whose man cheated on him instead of sitting there like a good woman looking in the mirror and saying my tits are a little saggy and i don't listen enough of course that's why he cheated instead they want to go on facebook and go men are the enemy men are pigs why did he do it i can't believe he did it i'm so confused what are you confused about bitch when's the last time you cooked him dinner oh my god bro he's not pulling any punches he go right in he goes right fucking in dude what the fuck yeah this god damn who hurt this man this is crazy there's no other way to like put that into wow he has a deep problem with women that is way too far beyond anyone's diagnosis i don't know what to do in this situation there's an absolute mad lad spewing bullshit on youtube do you suck dick on demand yes or no come again hold on you obey this dude's out there every day fucking working and he comes home to hear bullshit from you and then that you are the only female on earth he's allowed to have sex with and when he wants sex you don't want it so he has to go through his life sexlessly because you're a fucking frigid assho god the damn man it's like you could say like i feel like there's a way to say it but like you can see it it's emotional for him that's the difference right it's like it's one thing to just say it like that right and just say that it's like okay that's that's it's like that's dumb right but like he's saying it and he's actually mad that's the difference this man was either raised by a legitimate serial killer or he's a comedian doing one of the greatest bits of all time no i think that there's a good chance that he has a loving mother and like his dad just you know watches tv all the time and it's like oh good little andrew it's okay you'll find you haven't found a girlfriend yet oh no mom they're all hoes well you'll be one day it's okay that's just how me and your dad met it'll be all right and like yeah it's it's probably not by the way it's me not you um yeah there's probably no fucking like there's nothing there's it's nobody else's fault okay yeah it's nobody fucking out there's nobody else's fault pushing the envelope of political correctness except it's just flopping and it's not funny and you're confused he cheated i don't understand why i understand why because you're a fucking piece of shit oh okay look after your man there's no way that whenever he says you he's not thinking of a name there is no shot i mean is there anybody that like yeah he's thinking of a fucking name don't fucking cheat in all cheating scenarios 100 of the blame is always on the female boom there it is boys you heard you heard him right there if you cheat on your girlfriend that's her fucking fault the best thing about this what i find to be so fucking funny is that there are women that say the exact opposite shit on twitter they're like man he doesn't make me happy like he used to he doesn't take me out on dates he never carries me around it's like i mean listen that that's that's i wonder fucking why number one number fucking two and then there's like oh if if you have to cheat on your husband or your boyfriend while he's on deployment it's okay you do you you have to live your own life and your own truth and there's like all these women that are commenting underneath it they're like true sis true yes go off queen true oh my god yeah they do this shit all the fucking time like and that's what i'm saying like yeah obviously this guy's a clown right but i see girls do this shit all the fucking time they're like you did you deserve somebody better you you deserve this female it's more acceptable these guys are the same they are so cookie cutter it's fucking baffling yeah i said it it's true because if you looked after your man properly let me tell you something men are a lot more lazy than you give us credit for we can't be bothered to go out there find some bimbo talk shit to her take her for dinner buy her some shit listen to her opinions on fucking you see like that is true but that's why i don't cheat is because like if you have to deal like if you're dating a girl you already have to deal with her bullshit if you're dating two girls you have to date with twice as much bullshit so i think this is actually reverse logic it's twice as much shit you have to deal with all the time favorite dog breed and scroll oh yeah your instagram filter yeah i'll take the picture men we don't want to do none of that where did this come from this man really woke up put on a leather jacket he decided to be a great idea to turn on his camera and rant in his living room about a made-up scenario that nobody gives a flying fuck about it's not a made-up scenario it's probably something that happened to him two months ago yeah so that's not yeah it probably happened to him two months ago let's be realistic here he's quite literally doing this to himself this is already off the rails let me go to the comment section quick and see if anyone is you know sharing some dissenting opinions or maybe they're agreeing with him in all cheating scenarios a hundred percent of the blame is always on the female so true so true brother hell yeah man let's get some giga chads in the chat for him that's right yeah true king there you go 144 up votes one look at the comment section on this video and it tells me that youtube has an actual problem with the radicalization of toxic men these i think that it has nothing to do with men i think that you can find the same comments the same stupid shit with women they say the same stuff on facebook i see it constantly and to be honest with you it's more socially accepted so it's more popular yeah i don't think this is anything unique about about women this is about men like not to the same degree but how many times has there been like the fucking story where the guys on deployment and the girl cheats on the guy or she has a baby and it doesn't look like him like i've seen fucking 100 of these i've seen 100 of these fucking things it's the exact same thing man yeah it's the exact same thing asthmatic tricker bro i'm not triggered i'm lit but i'm lit i love these these are fucking funny to me in cells burrow into these rabbit holes and cuddle with each other just basking in their misogyny it's disgusting the only logical explanation that i could possibly think of that definitely doesn't even scratch the surface to describe this man's attitude is that he was probably cheated on and then he internalized all that hate and this is the result if your man's cheating it's because you ain't looking after him right so stop the confusion stop being baffled that's not true that's actually that's totally not true think about it like this you ask somebody what's better than an ice cream sandwich you know what a lot of people are going to say two ice cream sandwiches the guys that do this shit there's not yeah that's it yeah that's all there is to it it's not complicated or anything like that all you keep buffet yeah golden corral i'm telling you right now why he did it so you stopped going on facebook with all these other dickhead girls below i know see like that's the thing that see he's that's exactly what happened is he read some shit on facebook that made him mad he fucking did this david my man cheated too because you're all local pieces of shit a popular thing within the manosphere is to ascribe value to people it is the cringiest dumbest shit i've ever heard they i will say i think that the value thing is relatively true even though people don't like to admit it uh it's the same with guys if you're over six feet tall that's a plus one uh if you're uh in shape that's a plus one if you make a lot of money that's a plus one if you're balding that might be a minus point five or a minus one absolutely everybody is vated on their value it that's just the truth yeah i mean money is a plus 10 not for some girls i i mean i i wish often sound like actual children too i'm a high value male i don't fuck with low value bitches like get a grip you haven't touched grass in 30 years you adopted a boomer mentality from 700 bc where you think it's okay to sling girls over your shoulder like a fucking caveman answer to your every beck and call get out of here with this fucking stupidity please fucking look after yourselves who lets me put some makeup on do some burpees you got a fucking gun sort yourself out jesus i would love honestly i would love to see people react to this like just normal average people just to watch them get mad straight up like that would it would be so fucking funny for me to see that to see people get mad yeah there it is it is hilarious he's famous oh no no he's he's well known people know this guy absolutely yeah get him on all craft yeah there it is uh the only thing better than pussy is some new pussy yeah it's it yeah method man said that there you go it's yeah it's not the girl's fault that a guy cheats most of the time guys do this all the time just cheating if your man doesn't interview him the most stupid thing you can do is leave him nope it's confirmed he was cheated on probably about a thousand times and i wonder why i wonder you're gonna leave the man you love the man you were head over heels in love with you're going to leave him and find another man who you don't love who's still going to cheat on you because you're still a troll he's saying like he's saying this with a name in mind bro you know it i know it everybody knows it he's saying this shit with a name in mind bitch what's the point in that at least keep the love going why if you're gonna get cheated on at least get cheated on by a man you love not on me yeah jessica's getting called out dude those couches are sick they're so manly so fucking ugly a half life like this dude you're banging my fucking best friend those those girls just do look like girl couches like i'mma be honest like that's a they do i mean really like that shit fucking like replace this shit with live live love wait bro put a picture of a pomeranian and what i mean really like oh my god elisa i love him he cheats on me but i love him and i stick with you yeah yeah yeah now you're starting to fucking sound like a real woman sort your shit out oh my god fucking manicure stop typing on facebook bullshit yeah stop typing on facebook instead watch my manic episode on youtube while i preach to an army of smooth brain goblins so yeah that's smooth bring god with i i think that there's a lot of guys and here's the reality these are guys that whenever they were in middle school and high school all the girls would call them uh smelly pete or you know they they wouldn't take them seriously or whatever and all their friends got made you know had girlfriends and then they don't smell me i just i thought of something funny and so um that they yeah creepy carl you can think of a million of these and so that they they're looking for somebody like this guy because he's the one he's the reality check that these guys think that the girls need he's the one that's gonna set it straight you know he's finally saying what they've always known to be true that's it man it's like what i said yesterday if you can tell if you can get stupid people to think that they're smart they'll give you all of their money we're dealing with today and the next video is called the biggest mistake rich men make with girls dude i should watch some of these these are i i boo i am actually getting i'm dude this is so good i love this shit boom there it is you know what happens when you're a real g holy what happens new challenger approaching mr chrome dome himself johnny sins wants his hair cut back yeah well it's man what happens whenever you're a real beluga whale wannabe jeff bezos evil villain that head is smoother than my ball sack after today's video sponsor manscaped this video is brought to you by manscaped.com and christmas came early for i feel like if you are the company manscaped you actually don't give a fuck about that like you don't give a fuck about that transition you think that's great but yeah they they know their audience me this year here because they just sent me the all-new person oh my god that was my landscape holy shit manscaped created the world's first all-in-one men's grooming kit that has you covered from oh bro they said this is the one they sent me they sent me this exact package like i it said balls on it so many times i got fucking i i i i felt weird even looking at it man toe literally yeah the lawnmower 4.0 i don't even know how i waterproof cordless 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and make me coffee and get naked on demand that's how i make over 300k a month you end up with all these chicks right when you have all these chicks they're obviously fall in love with you instantly the girls are rich i am rich the girls sit on a computer and make huge amounts of cash no man what does his shirt say bro a coney like what yeah what year is this shit oh my god touches them except me yeah cool sick very cool they comply blindly they listen to you why wouldn't they listen to you the best thing they could possibly ever get of course they listen and what happens also when you're real g is that you're here you're there you're everywhere you're making moves you're making money you gotta go to poland you gotta go to warsaw fucking dubai miami anyone who watches take confidential knows i'm all over the place yeah you really signed up for the mr worldwide starter pack he does look a little bit like yeah that's a yeah yeah jesus christ pitbull wants his mo back so end up with all these chicks just stuck in their house that's actually that's close completely in love with me and of course they don't go out they're not allowed out like oh does he go to saudi arabia too like oh my god like this is yeah yeah no fucking wonder i could see how this coming out yeah oh my god gas station pitbull holy shit man dates away so they go out with their friends no no no no what they're not allowed out there it is anyone want to uh hey look into this guy just holding people against the world you're not allowed out while daddy's gone oh my god bitch-ass dude is letting his chicks go to the club with her friends without him no you stay in the house you don't go nowhere you're not no restaurants no clubs nothing there's no other one oh my god what is this this guy's so this guy's wilding out yeah look at this holy shit he's under investigation for human trafficking somebody said that wasn't true i don't know if it's true or not man i got no idea way to put this lightly this man is a walking butt pussy so because i have all these chicks sitting in their houses and they're bored and i'm going here there and this man gets a massive hit of copium every time he walks about in his backyard and sees his last name plastered on the wall just farting into his own hand and smelling it no it's like whenever somebody rubs their ball sack and they smell their hand that's the same as whenever you got your fucking name on your own backyard get a grip sooner or later it's a full circle they say well andrew they text it they text a nice long text and they say in a way like i'm going to be pleased with what i read that's what's actually amazing they say hey i've got a great idea heart heart yeah sure what bitch no seriously this is such a good idea oh my god what bitch it's like well you're always busy working so why don't i start a business too so that i'm not bored while you're away and we can make more money like i'm gonna and they're expecting yeah yeah yeah great no i don't need you one i don't even need women to make money why would i want you making money what the fuck of course yeah there's a lot of guys that don't want to have that happen because if they girl can make money then she can leave the guy that that's the reason i think that makes that yeah that's what how that's how it goes says what bitch yeah that that's what it is yeah i have no problem like the thing is like i i don't think there's anything wrong with like a traditional marriage where like you know the woman stays at home and you know takes care of the kids and shit like that the guy goes out and works i don't think there's anything wrong with that but it's got to be consensual yeah it it has got to be conte it was like you can't just like make somebody stay in the house that's the difference i need you making money i'm lost yeah who are you fighting with i have so much money what i want you to do is just be pleasant and smile and comply and obey i want you to be happy all the time the last thing i want you doing is fucking making money because we don't need any money man i am way in above my pay grade like i'm a youtube commentator bringing this to light yeah i need a neurosurgeon a psychiatrist and a psychologist to really sit down with me and unpack all of this because i am starting to lose critical amounts of brain cells i don't think it's that complicated i really don't i think it's guys that have control problems and they don't want the girl to go out and do other stuff because if she does that then she can leave him that's really what it is it's it's really not that complicated at all yeah of course very weird man yeah that's what it is yeah they're insecure control freak guys that's what it is uh yeah i mean warren jeff yeah it's just super ego et cetera yeah i mean it's a it's an a it's an act like out for a job basically it's a bit much i'll say that takes a sociopath i don't think that like the thing is everybody wants to put like a label on somebody i i think that a lot of these guys this is my this is like what i've learned and like it's not true with everybody right this is what i've learned is that a lot of these guys are actually like very emotional and romantic people and that was at some point in their life they realized that this caused them trouble right like they they went too far with like some girl and they like completely fell in love with the girl and then she fucking ruined his life or she left him or something like that yeah that it was used against them right and that's what happens i i see a lot of guys that are like you know these emotional vulnerable guys and then they have like this fucking uh moment where they realize like this is being used against me and then they they not rather than just like trying to you know be a little bit more well-rounded uh they just go off yeah they it's a joker moment right you want to hear a joke murray yeah there you go you guys see what i'm tapping you guys see what i'm saying but worse than all that you want me to pay to start your business that's what this real thing is every single fucking time and the worst thing is women believe in all the crap they see about business online right like follow your passions if you really believe in your passion then you'll make money which is not even true that's the worst business advice ever well it depends on what your passion is if your passion is uh like certain things then yeah it's probably not but uh there's other things that are now somebody said the guy's a comedian right i think that it's totally fine if somebody wants to do a comedy routine that's to some extent of this but the difference is that there has to be a punchline and there is like an indication like for example whenever bill burr goes on conan and and he's making jokes about women and about how like that they're dumb or crazy or whatever like you know that bill burr is a comedian you know ahead of time this is an individual who is saying this with a comedic intent you see what i'm saying so that's what the difference is is that you can't say that you're a comedian and then never fucking tell a joke that's the thing and so yeah you do satire satire doesn't have a punchline yes but like the people that do satire right you go back you watch like uh you know stephen fry or something like that like old british satire you know that stephen fry you know this is like monty python wait you didn't really think the dude got his arm cut off right you didn't really think there was a rabbit that's eaten everybody did you no it's because this shit's fake it's it's all it's a joke everybody knows it's a joke it's like borat everybody knew bore out wasn't real like there's nobody that thought to himself like man this crazy guy is just crazy like wow they got they do some stupid shit over at kazakhstan huh yeah that's the difference it's not a joke so so it's like you can say that you're a comedian right but you've gotta every once in a while let people know that it you know like it's it's a bit of a joke and it's also like what i would say to anybody like that is that how many of the people do you think follow you take your advice seriously because i i think the answer for something like this is like except for the people that follow him like like hate watchers effectively uh like 90 percent 95 99 of people do so it's like if you're a comedian and everybody thinks you're not telling a joke i mean man isn't that odd getting so mad at a situation that has never happened he's making this up all in his head it happens as he goes he's quite literally self-destructing before our eyes he's scrambling for words nothing that he's saying is coherent i don't need money i'm the bald millionaire what sit there okay all right can you fucking stop now like are we really we're really gonna are we really gonna make this personal i mean i this is a bit much huh the guys that hasn't proved any actual counterpoints what do you mean there's no counterpoint to thinking that a woman shouldn't be able to leave the house like what counter like what do you want to study of like women who left the house and like how much their life is improved or not like there's no like yeah there's not a fucking mit harvard study about this sometimes you can just look at something and make a judgment on it that it's bad beanie like i'm stunned yeah anyone out here has actually made me real money you know sometimes you got to do shit you don't want to do to get paid so this whole passion does everybody knows that i mean i think somebody you work at mcdonald's i'm pretty sure they know that every day garbage if you still believe that then you should fucking quit business completely so because women believe this junk then they come at you with one of their passions yeah and usually around about 99 of the time and i'd know because i've had this exact conversation probably around 100 times with 100 different women okay and 99 of them said the same thing one of them said pet grooming this man is so deep into like in-cell dumb that he doesn't what's wrong with pet grooming i think pet grooming's okay there's a lot of people that pay money for that know it he's there's a lot of induced fever dream fights with himself where are these generalizations and thoughts even coming from where do they stem from the other 99 said beauty salon i want to open a beauty salon why do you want to open a beauty salon oh because you know i really like makeup and i'm really good at makeup and i watch these things on youtube about makeup and my friend claire is really good at makeup and i know all these i wonder like what the logic on this is right like don't do something that you like don't do something that you're good at like what's the uh what what's the what's the end goal on this right need their makeup done and it's really hard to get your makeup done properly and i will be the place you can get your makeup done properly it's gonna become called beauty elysium and everyone's gonna come and they're getting their makeup done and it's going to be a big success yeah i just need you to rent me a building and put gucci sofas in and give me a nice sexy sign and cover the whole place of flowers and spend all your money so that i can 1145 crawl out of bed with a fucking cappuccino and walk in there with my hair fucking curled like a ceo and a little girl suit and look around all my customers and all the money i'm making and have them do my makeup and then i'll go off for lunch at 2 o'clock and we'll be millionaires oh my god like this guy i mean maybe he is a comedian this is amazing and then everybody clapped it's okay this is a safe space you can talk to us what are you going through really sit down have a chat shut the fuck up oh okay that's a bit much you you know what i mean and so like everything i feel like everything before this was like like that it's just like it's just being an asshole right but like that's bad like i would say like yeah i mean that that's fucking bad like that that's probably the first thing that i would say in this video is like like it is like you can't like in my mind like you can't really defend that you know what you know what i mean like yeah you you can't defend that like that's uh that that that's it yeah that's the punchline yeah that's not the punchline i was talking about you know women know the clue how fucking business works that wouldn't ever work dude just say it okay i hate women and i have a micro penis it's okay it's okay this is a safe space they should show this video as like a beware of these dudes in every high school every college and every job that you get just be aware here you go stay away don't do this don't become a warning sign that's how it works in their mind in their mind they're gonna have this little cute beauty shop and they're gonna go there for like 20 minutes and they're gonna fuck about and everyone's gonna be laughing it's all gonna be funny hahaha big jokes like sex in the city episode oh my god this guy they don't anticipate the fact that every single organization that is primarily run by females is just a fucking bitch fest anyway we're gonna hate you bitch the staff are gonna hate each other the staffers start stealing customers the staff is the actual members of staff who are doing the actual work the fucking makeup we're going to be like you know what oh my god your own business fuck this hey customer i can do the exact same thing at your house cheaper at 7pm tonight you're gonna get for moose you're gonna get for moose taxes you're gonna do the taxes yeah it's like yeah women don't understand taxes that's the thing it's just like yeah they don't understand taxes like oh my god holy fucking shit man the famous yeah i just wow my mom does my taxes it is just crazy man are incapable of performing any cognitive tasks they have to sit there look pretty yeah suck weiner and just answer to every men's beck and call there it is how it works i didn't make the rules dude it's just life this is who i'm learning it from holy shit what about the fucking fire code where's the fire extinguisher going to go bitch oh you i just i i love it like it's just it's like what like yeah where's the fire extinguisher gonna go like it's just oh my god you know all about the fucking gucci sofas what about the fire extinguishers it is fucking garbage and they're looking for your money to pay for it so they can put their fucking name on it who who is looking for my money to do this uh-huh present them really this is crazy this is crazy do you guys relate this is just crazy what is he on about beauty elysium by claire uh-huh claire shut up claire you swallow come on claire you literally swallow what the fuck do you know about business be quiet bro he's not like i i think what's so like astonishing for a lot of people is like a lot of people they'll say stuff like this but it's like they'll like imply it you know what i mean they'll imply it but this guy just comes out fucking puts his dick on the table and says listen bitch this is how it's gonna be and i think that's why people watch guys like that is that a big thing that a lot of guys don't have is self-confidence and self-esteem so they see some guy even if he's totally fucking wrong about every single thing that he says by god he fucking believes it and that's something to take seriously that's what it is yeah exactly i i think that's really what it was man more than anything and uh so i come also yeah any questions number yo chill watch one of these videos are hilarious i this is i love it i love this like y'all need to y'all need to fucking post some more of this shit on my reddit like please post this shit like i would love to watch this i would love to please watch this is so good worth it it's not worth it worst thing about all of this is every single time the bitch comes to me with this shit i obviously say no because it's never going to make money you think it's going to be some dream because you don't understand business it's going to be stressful it's going to be headache no the worst thing is though i know a lot of millionaires who say yes and i've had to stop talking to guys because they agreed to open a business for their chick now i know you know that's smart yeah it's like if if you let a girl use uh like do business like you can't talk to the guy i mean that guy like he's compromised like yeah he he's he's been compromised yeah he stopped talking to him he's a four-time kickboxing champion here's the thing there's a lot of people that are really good at one thing but they're not that good at other things but they are very good at that one thing there are other thing christie oh my god it's like but that other thing you know maybe not so much they're sitting here going what you're going to stop talking to your friend because he opens the business with his wife this is my favorite part of the entire video i don't think you guys are ready this takes a weird wacky target okay here what you guys are about to hear here is the most neurotic hilarious thing that this man has convinced himself his daily life consists of i think this is like a window in his brain on how he thinks get ready for this now you normally you normal just call on normies but he's not going to call him normies he's going to call him normalos because he's not like those internet losers right so he's gotta come up with his own word little peons you worms you peasants you don't understand why i would do something like that but explain it okay all right okay i'm all ears let's go if i'm at a table for dinner and i'm with my friend i expect us both to be perspicacious high alert okay all right yeah yeah cause like i mean shit could happen at any moment like some guy walks in there with a gun turn around kick the gun out of his hand and put it put him in handcuffs yeah perspective just in case that shit happens locked in perhaps someone's going to approach me from behind with a machete with murderous intent that's right because you never know because you never because you you never fucking know and if the guy there is in business with his girlfriend he's gonna be thinking about that woman and not about saving you from jason who's right behind you ready to cut your damn head off you stay strapped that's right because you can't catch them you can't catch them slipping that's it that's it that's a real one oh my fucking god perhaps somebody's going to come up behind me put me in the sleeper hold still yeah with a machete with murderous intent i need my fellow entrepreneur alpha male bald best friend that's right to be there for me you didn't have to put baldness you're going out to dinner my fucking guy you never know when it could go down the fuck and i want my friend to warn me just eating dinner casually nice italian restaurant hey excuse me uh bald fuck somebody standing behind you with a chainsaw yeah murderous intent i want him to notice and tell me so i can activate the aikido and disarm the assailant no no no oh my god activate the aikido holy shit who stabs in the machete well you gotta understand like a lot of these people like they they just they're just talking okay they're just talking are they this is not what do you mean random violence happens all the time like before lively got shut down yeah i mean people are getting fucking hacked up all over the place like violence violence can happen at any time anywhere all right so i have been to whataburger probably a total of 500 times all right and i've also been to like taco bell 500 times i've been to burger king probably 300 times i've been to chipotle 500 times i've been to mcdonald's a thousand times out of all the times that i've been to all of the places the only time that i've ever seen a fight was twice at whataburger actually three times at whataburger and it's because everybody was drunk and they were coming back from downtown and nobody had a machete okay how many times you've been how many times you've been to a fourth of july parade like twice a badge no bad shit can happen no it's definitely right yeah it bad shit can happen but the odds are it doesn't happen like i don't go and go outside wearing a helmet in case the meteor right it's gonna hit me on the head i don't think he's look i don't think the guy's like fucking on edge at all times i'm just okay i think i think he's being exact i think he's exaggerating i think he's going way overboard but i do think he's probably like you know ready for shit to pop off because he knows he's you know anybody who anybody who knows what it's like whenever ship pops off knows that they're never gonna be ready for shit to pop off like and that's the fact and also like a lot of other fighters like you you go look at any video of somebody like uh fucking floyd mayweather or somebody like that like uh uh uh what's his name conor mcgregor mike they are surrounded by other guys because it's not about like you're probably not going to die but even if you defend yourself from that person that person is now going to sue you and make a bunch of fucking money off of it so that's why it's not like they're afraid or anything like that no they have these other guys protecting them so they don't have liability so it's like and and this guy should know this he's a professional fucking fighter like that's what it is yeah but i mean you also have to remember fighting is not gonna do anything against a fucking gun you're just gonna die you're dead that's it you're dead and so what matters like well like if somebody tells you he's not like that's a we'll get there and see this guy the guy talking about t one's poor the other one's rich and ripped the thing is like there's a lot of people that are rich and they're also like they live like this right and so like it there's nothing wrong with that i mean i'm one of them that that's all there is to it it's like you work out and like that's not going to solve all your problems well fuck is it small f small f don't worry about it don't worry about whatever all right all right is we good is we good you're good you're good you're good we all right we we out here we really out here all right so listen let me see this some people think different they're generally good in these situations they don't have to think they're ready to fight bro i think anybody that thinks like that like you think you're ready to fight like i don't care if you are mike tyson in his prime you are not stronger than a bullet and if five people jump you and they have weapons you are going to be on the ground and it's going to be up to them whether you're dead or not that's all there is to it there's a lot of people that get their fucking opinions they think that this is some kind of fucking anime show or whatever it's not it's fucking not like that's what's going to happen yeah risk of shit going down is grossly exactly yeah it's like nothing's probably going to happen things are going to be fine here i'll get back to it let's see this here real quick um okay not real this guy this is a skit this is his theater class thesis he's gonna activate the wuju style aikido and fucking disarm the assailant from the henchmen that are out to get him yeah he's eating dinner in public my people give a shit damn [Music] oh my god what i don't want is my friend too busy typing on his phone arguing with his wife over some bullshit business he should have never fucking started to not pay enough attention to protect me i roll with guys who are switched on no you don't you just roll with guys that's about it you hate women every single one of you knows those dudes who are sitting there just texting away arguing with some bitch that's honestly like i i've i have done that a lot like it's i will be i'll be honest like there have been a number of times where i've been fucking out somewhere with some friends of mine and whichever girl i'm talking to is fucking pissed off at me for something and i'm like okay all right can you please fucking just let me just calm down right just trying to trying to get this trying to get this is set down but i will have you know that in every circumstance nobody died nobody died like it me not being there and ready nobody fucking died uh that's what it is you submitted starting uh millionaire business bitches listen i uh i i've i've got enough business going on right now okay i'm chilling paying attention to the outside world yeah in a minute in a minute fuck you bitch i ain't got time for that i don't want it around me do you understand so when a guy says oh i'm gonna open my wife a beauty salon i can just stop being his friend because i know he is no longer perspicacious he's no longer combat ready because he's gonna end up arguing with that bitch over that fucking salon no longer combat ready no like combat ready look at that holy shit dude it's the worst when my friends are not combat ready fuck and they argue because yeah dude forks up to me bro i swear like i yeah dude if someone is coming at you with a knife or any type of like fucking stabbing uh thing like just run but you're not just you don't want to get fucked up like the thing is like you don't like yeah you know i i'm not gonna try to fucking disarm some dude with a fucking knife man i said fuck that because the odds are if somebody's running at you with a goddamn knife they have more to lose than you do guaranteed i said nope that's not me just just run fuck it run away it's like here's an example like if your cat gets mad who wants to get there and fucking fight their cat whenever the cat gets mad uh-uh you get away from that fucking thing you get you get away from uh uh nope i i don't want to be near this cat it's going to scratch me it's going to bite me and it's like yeah i can hit the cat in the head or something like that but he's going to come back he's going to go as hard as he can because it's a cat or yeah if someone does come at you with a knife you know and you live in america yeah just pull out your gun hey hey you got a right bro a firearm okay hell yeah what's brother sign beauty elysium by claire they have the opening party with the free champagne that costs fucking 25 g's all her friends i feel like he's talking from experience i'm gonna be honest like i feel like this is very much experiential like he's talking about what happened to him friends ain't gonna pay her to do makeup they're her friends boys men will pay their friend in their friend's business because we understand how business works girls won't girls will go well i've known claire forever she should do me for free so all her friends want to be done for free anyway so all her friends are sitting there drinking champagne uh there are plenty of guys that expect to get shit for free as well like this is yeah this is not true yeah he really hates claire yeah exactly uh it's just yeah a hundred fucking percent like my dad will come in all right greek says something let me ask you if there's a fight who would rather have me tate or the fat guy reviewing him i'm gonna be honest like probably tate he's a he's a kickboxing champion like yeah i would absolutely rather have the tape the thing is like if if i get in a fight or something like that or somebody like i feel like this is the way i i look at getting in a fight for like this is my perspective if i lose the fight i get the shit beat out of me if i win the fight i get the shit sued out of me damn that doesn't sound good you you know what i mean like that sounds bad like damn like that's yeah like what is this this is like man i i don't want to deal with this uh-uh fucking customers claire realizes oh i don't have any business i'm sitting here all day bored this is bullshit i want to go and you know what maybe phillian would have a higher chance of backing me up because tate probably knows that and i bet there's a good chance he would duck out on a fight because he knew he could get fucking sued for hitting somebody he knew that he could have that shit happen and if he did that he would probably get sued and get convicted so there's actually a good chance that i would rather have fillion with me because he would be more willing to square up because he might not have less so he might have less to lose so because he's a professional fighter i don't know that that's that's a little bit right okay all right all right why why is that a reach i mean this guy's apparently according to chad that's a kickboxing champion right yeah ah that seems like someone who's a kickboxing champion probably seems pretty aggressive i don't think they would i don't think they would shy away from that i don't i don't think they would i think that the way somebody talks is always going to be different than how they act and for sure the moment that like you if you are in a situation this is one of the only people i would probably say that could be calm and collected in a situation like that i think that this guy would make a judgment call and he would say if i get involved in this i could lose millions of dollars i could get sued i could lose my whole career i could go to jail or i could just let my friend get his ass beat and hey it is what it is right it is yeah it is what it is right and so i feel like that is a very very high probability that is such a high probability years on long lunch breaks and about a three weeks earlier the place is barely functioning you just spent two million three weeks later it's limping along as a fellow rich man whenever i spend two million dollars on one of my concubines businesses i make sure to get a nice roi you know what i mean absolutely and my friend is sitting there on the phone to his fucking bitch why aren't we open i spent two million it's wednesday afternoon and the place is closed jesus and claire was like well and i couldn't make it in because her kid was sick and i have a migraine what do you want me to do about it dude this is i do think that it's usually a bad idea to go into business and like fund a significant other's business i think that this does cause a lot of problems like i it's not because it's a girl or a guy i mean how many instances like is this the same thing remember the lmfao thing like that was fucked up impressive what what claire really fucked this bro like clear like bro that is a thought man this woman started a movement and she didn't even know it that's a fact he's still going he's still rambling about an imaginary story with fake people that didn't happen arguing with himself it's quite literally the definition of insanity bitch i gave you two million now you won't even go to fucking work because of a migraine i got punched in the face i had 87 professional kickboxing matches you don't talk about fucking headaches you dumb hoe it all makes sense now this man was kicked in the head one too many times now he can't complete a full sentence or finish an abstract thought let alone end the story and this is another thing right it is like i do think that there is damn there's probably hasn't the nfl suppressed research about uh uh concussions and shit like that i heard about this there was even a whole a whole movie about it uh it yeah yeah cte there you go like that's no joke and like you can get that by the way you don't have to be in the nfl to get that like you got to watch out that's why don't get your don't don't hit things with your head right like trust me it's somebody who's hit a lot of things with it with his head same with rugby result of this we have a shiny bald angry in cell going on crazy rants in his backyard to his sad demographic of sheep i already know that this sad excuse of a man cuddles up with all of his dumb followers and they all just cry themselves to sleep at night jesus in the war jesus jesus that's bad that is fucking bad yo speaking of that we watch this not now not now we not watch this now but like i had this shit open we gonna watch it at some point let me just get it i might get it open i'm gonna get it ready and dan was saying oh my god that guy is just going wild let me link to you guys uh i love i love phillians videos they are amazing please give them some support if you enjoy the videos i think that they are so well done they are so good have you seen get two guns videos i've seen i think one of them and that's it that's the only one i've really seen and uh yeah there you guys go and uh putting that people down uh what's this here make you any better i mean it's not about that it's just talking about it and that that's the way that i see it as well spoken i think overall yeah as uh philly and took tate's bait i actually don't think that it's all baiting i'm going to be honest i really don't think so [Music] you

Channel: Aѕmongold TV

Views: 1,554,416

Keywords: asmongold, asmongold reacts, asmongold wow, asmongold highlights, asmongold youtube, world of warcraft, asmongold funny, asmongold tv, asmongold channel, ZackRawrr

Id: pL-PJ35HkkM

Length: 58min 56sec (3536 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 06 2022