8 Skill Sets Every Man Needs to Master

all right guys let's get into this discussion today about almost five years ago now I I made a video one of my very first videos on YouTube and by the way if you're not following us on YouTube if you're listening you probably may not be it's at youtube.com slash order of man if you're watching this video now obviously you are connected with us on YouTube regardless I did a video like I said roughly five years ago and I titled it eight skill sets every man needs to master and then I did another video several years ago called nine skill sets every man needs to master that first one that we released I want to say it has just about six hundred thousand views which is pretty amazing it's pretty incredible that many people have seen it and there's been some debate as to whether they agree with it or not but I was really curious if I were to go back now knowing what I know five years later would I say the same things about skill sets that men need to master and surprisingly maybe not surprisingly but interestingly enough most of the skill sets that I went through were very similar to what I believe now and that's what I wanted to share with you today this isn't an exhaustive list it is titled eight skill sets that every man needs to master I realized that the likelihood of us actually becoming a master in these skill sets is maybe not even possible I mean what is a master it's a good question to ask but somebody had pointed out on Instagram because I made a post on there and I'll talk with you about that in a minute about these skill sets they said we could just take a lifetime focusing on one of these and still not become a master which I agree with but I also responded to this individual and I said that that may be true but the pursuit the pursuit alone of mastery whether you get there or obtain something or not the pursuit alone is a worthwhile investment and it's gonna help you lead a more fulfilling profitable enjoyable successful life however you define that so we're gonna get into this again I know it's not exhaustive I've isolated eight skill sets I believe that every man should master and should work towards I believe that there are other skills outside of what I'm talking about here so please don't think that I forgot something or or this is it like this is the only thing I think about when it comes to being a man and I've got some bonus skill sets as well based on some feedback on Instagram because I had made this post on Instagram yesterday by the way if you're not following over there make sure you do at Ryan McClure my last name is spelled mi CH le are very very active over on Instagram and I try to stay as engaged as I possibly can with with you guys there okay let's get into this again eight skill sets every man needs to master not exhaustive and also not in any order number one excuse me is physical strength it is imperative imperative that we as men learn to get strong now I don't know what it is about some guys but they just want to create all the little exceptions and find all the little places where it's not you know that it doesn't apply I realize that may be physical strength isn't as important as it once was but you are going to be a more capable man when you're strong bottom line now I'm gonna probably have people say well what about guys who are injured or disabled that doesn't absolve them of the responsibility to be physically strong now they may not be as strong as somebody else they may not necessarily be as physically capable as somebody else but that doesn't mean that they can't improve themselves and it's not about comparison to other individuals it's about comparison to yourself and who you were 24 hours ago so continue to make yourself strong david gilmour in a book called manhood in the making if you want a good book that's a good book it is pretty detailed it's not very anecdotal it's more scientific and a lot more detailed but if you're interested it's a great book on generally and throughout most of cultures and in all of history what it has actually meant to be a man so it's called manhood in the making he talks about the difference the distinction between being a good man and being good at being a man a lot of you guys are familiar with Jack Donovan he talks about the same concept and the distinction between again a good man and being good at being a man when I look at what it means to be a good man I think we're talking more of the morality of amen that's what it means to be a good man but morality doesn't necessarily translate over into capability which is what it means to be good at being a man so you can have a moral man who is completely incapable and he might be a good human being but he's not good at being a man I hope that distinction makes sense on on the other side of things you could have a man who was good at being a man but he's missing the morality component he's missing the good man component so I think you should have both you should definitely be working towards both but to me it's undeniable that somebody who is fit somebody who is strong somebody who is conditioned somebody who really cares about the body they have and is tuning that body is going to be more capable he's going to have more energy he's going to have more excitement and passion and and and opportunities he's gonna have more stamina like it's just it's gonna be better whether he's at work or in a relationship or any facet of life so what I would suggest is that you find a way to become physically strong now this isn't a podcast about the best way to do that there's an infinite number of ways to do that but ultimately you should be training you should be strength training yes you're gonna want to do conditioning and other things as well and you have other things that you're excited about and I get it but you should be strength training you should be lifting heavy things putting them down and then lifting them back up again I use sore necks a lot they've they make some amazing exercise equipment I've used starting strength in the past who doesn't they do a phenomenal job I've been heavily heavily involved in CrossFit for the past five years or so so many different ways to do it again I'm not debating which is the best I'm just telling you we've got to get physically strong there's all sorts of opportunities and circumstances which may arise in which we'll need to be physically strong and people will look at us for that strength number two is learning to be an assertive communicator you've got to be an assertive communicator I've talked about this I think at length in the past but there's four primary modes of communication there's an aggressive communicator there's a passive communicator there's the passive-aggressive communicator and then ultimately the highest tier of communication which is assertive communication the aggressive communicator is the jerk he's the a-hole he's the guy that nobody likes he railroads he bullies he pushes people over and yeah he might get the job done but he leaves a wake of collateral damage in his path and usually will only experience results short term until people catch on to him they realize they don't like this individual and no longer want to be led by this individual and who this person is on the other side of the spectrum you have the passive communicator this is the wimp this is the weenie this is maybe even the nice guy in a quote/unquote nice guy Robert Glover wrote a book called no more mr. nice guy which I highly recommend by the way guys I'm gonna give you a lot of resources today so just have your notepads handy or come back and check this out but a great book is called no more mr. nice guy talks about not being the nice guy being a nice human but the nice guy is different he gets friend-zoned he's railroaded he's pushed around he's bullied his opinion doesn't matter if he shares it at all he's a people pleaser he wants everybody to be happy and he's not willing to take care of himself now the passive-aggressive communicator is really a a he's he's a he's a bit of both right but he's disguising he's probably falls more in line with the aggressive person but he's disguising it as as being nice right he's he's not he knows that he shouldn't be the a-hole so what does he do he uses humor and sarcasm to take that edge off but it really just ends up coming back as manipulative and condescending and arrogant now I'm not saying we can't have fun and we can't tell jokes and we can't push each other around and and and and and mock each other to a degree if it comes from the right place that's not what I'm suggesting but I am saying that if you are the type of guy who can't take anything seriously who can't make straight comments to an individual has to do underhandedly or around their back or take little pop shots that's a pretty good indicator that you're not being assertive you're being passive-aggressive and it's not effective way of communication now the fourth and what I would consider the elevated tier of communication is assertive this is a man who knows what he wants he's willing to communicate that to individuals he's not so concerned with what other people think of him he can share his thoughts and ideas even if people don't agree he doesn't throw temper tantrums or have meltdowns or think that he's being persecuted just because somebody happens to contradict what he says he takes new ideas and new inputs but ultimately he speaks his mind and he shares what needs to be shared from his vantage point it's it's a much more effective way to communicate with people it's not always comfortable especially if you're moving from a passive to an assertive but it's a very very powerful way to communicate with individuals to get what you want and to help other people get what they want as well what you want and what other people want is it's not mutually exclusive and in a lot of ways they can actually align perfectly but you need to be an assertive communicator in order for that to happen another resource i'll give you again get your notepads out for this one because i'm gonna give you a lot of resources is the assertiveness workbook so if you recognize that you are an a-hole and nobody likes you assertiveness workbook if you recognize that you can't share your opinion or you're afraid to or people railroad you or talk over you assertiveness workbook this is how we move into assertive communication number three self defense initially I put martial arts down here and martial arts is a component of it but I wanted to broaden it out so I think that you should be making yourself into a weapon of sorts you should be training your body in your mind in order to protect not only yourself but to protect those you have a responsibility for whether that's your family or your co-workers your neighbors potentially even complete strangers you should be training your mind your body your your whatever every every aspect your intellect your every part of you should be trained towards self-defense now we talk a lot about one of the core tenets of being a man is that of a protector well you can't be a protector if you don't know how to defend self and other people and what I've seen a lot of men do is they believe that if something goes down if it hits the fan that somehow they'll miraculously turn into this superhero and it's not the case there's a quote by I think it was Epictetus I might be off on that but he says we don't rise to the level of our expectation we fall to the level of our training so if you aren't training your body in martial arts if you aren't learning how to handle a firearm this is actually a big one if you own a firearm but don't train with it regularly you might actually become a liability as opposed to the asset that you're supposed to be you need to train yourself in physical altercations in natural disasters and things that might come up that you need again to protect yourself and other people there's a lot of great resources on this Clint Emerson who's coming on the podcast again former Navy SEAL is gonna talk with us about that we had Pat McNamara on several weeks ago we have James Yeager who's coming on the podcast very soon I hesitate to name names because I'm gonna leave somebody out but go back and look Colonel Dave Grossman is another great resource he wrote a book called on killing and on combat in fact I probably have him somewhere back behind me and we did a podcast with him as well and talked about the body's physiological response to threats and negative situations very very powerful interview in fact his interview his quest or hasn't response to what does it mean to be a man is probably unlikely my favorite answer in over 200 episodes where I've asked that question so you should be you should be capable in administering violence in the right context again being good at being a man and being a good man so a good excuse me I'm back up being good at being a man somebody like that could administer violence but if you don't have the good man the morality part figured out you probably got to work on that as well maybe that's a bonus so that was number three self-defense specifically with regards to martial arts I like jujitsu I'm I'm gonna get into a debate about which is the best martial art they all have their validity and being well-rounded is probably gonna serve you best so maybe that's more time maybe that's boxing and wrestling and karate and jujitsu but learning the arts of administering violence and then of course the self-control and restraint that comes with it as well and I'll talk about that here in a little bit number four emotional resilience I have seen so many videos lately of men males will say males males who cannot control their emotions they're their emotional I should say they're overly emotional they allow their emotions to control and dictate their behaviors typically not in the best way possible that that doesn't help them or anybody else they they cower they get completely railroaded by the smallest of circumstances they lash out at other individuals all because they're letting the stimulus or I should say the response of emotions to circumstances dictate their behavior your emotions are an indicator I've talked about this at length they're an indicator of something that's working and something that maybe is not working you don't need to be overly emotional you don't need to the New Age thinking is be a hundred percent vulnerable and exhibit all of your emotions no are there times sure but there's also times where you need to suck it up you need to not display those emotions you need to strive to understand those emotions and then drive forward in the best way possible using the indicator of emotions as a metric a metric not the only metric so if you're angry and that's the only stimulus you're using to respond you're probably not taking in all the input that you could there's also reasoning and logic that you probably want to take into consideration a great resource on this would be stoicism I've had to potentially even three I can't remember right offhand two interviews maybe three with ryan holiday he wrote a book called obstacle is the way ego is the enemy and stillness is the key and in a fourth book called the daily stoic all great resources if you want to go back to the source then you probably ought to read Marcus Aurelius meditations that is a classic that is a book that I recommend that every man read I have 10 on that list and that is definitely on that list Marcus Aurelius meditations you get introduced to the idea of stoicism I'll tell you this stoicism is not the suppression or absence of emotions it's a quest to understand and then respond accordingly number 5 now this is my background its financial acumen if you don't understand how the resource of money works you're gonna have a hard time creating fulfilment creating wealth creating sustainability offering services in a market adding value in economies you need to understand how this little green piece of paper we call money works you need to understand how to make it you need to understand how to keep it you need to understand how to protect it how to budget it how to invest it how to keep it from the government legally not tax evasion tax avoidance there's a distinction tax avoidance is legal and I believe moral tax evasion on the other hand is illegal so I'm not suggesting you do anything illegal but I'm telling you that you ought to take advantage of tax codes that are gonna play to your benefit so you can keep more of your hard-earned dollars you need to learn these things resources Dave Ramsey has some great beginner resources on paying off debt and budgeting there's a great book if you want to learn about how the stock market works called a random walk down Wall Street that's a great book investopedia is a great place online to maybe not get individual financial or investment advice but to start to understand some of the terms and and and the the nomenclature that's used to explain how the how money works what else Louis listen to podcast read the book I mean whatever you can do find people who are financially successful as financially successful people hire a financial advisor Daniel Crosby wrote a book called butcher this one the laws of wealth I believe it is Daniel Crosby the laws of wealth one of the best segments of that book is he actually goes through and gives you a list of questions and ideas and considerations when you're looking for a financial adviser so if you're in the market for a financial advisor and this was my background so I agree with everything dr. Crosby said in this pick up that book dr. Daniel Crosby I believe again it's called the laws of wealth or something like that you'll find it Daniel Crosby the laws of wealth and you'll be able to make it more informed more accurate decision on on who you hire regarding your your financial planner that's number five number six effective networking you don't make decisions in a vacuum and everything that you've created in your life is not solely due to what you have done there has been somebody else in your path a father a mother a mentor a coach a counselor a teacher a friend a business partner somebody in your life has helped you accomplish what you have and no opportunity will present itself without a connection to another human being now I have been very very fortunate in that we've got this podcast and through the podcast I've been able to network with and meet some of the most phenomenal successful men on the planet now not all of you are gonna start a podcast and I'm not suggesting that you do but I am suggesting that you learn how to network and I'm not talking about going to sleazy and cheesy networking meetings some of those have some validity and importance and relevance to them I'm just talking about learning how to connect and relate with under other individuals ultimately learning how to serve other people in a way that's meaningful for them and helping those people win in fact like I said I was at origin factory earlier this morning I was talking with Pete and he had invited somebody who I introduced him to and I have no gain from that but it was an opportunity for me to help these two individuals get connected and they're both going to win and succeed because of that and the world-famous Zig Ziglar says if you help enough people get what they want you will inevitably get what it is you want so I've prided myself on learning how to create relationships learning how to serve other individuals how to find out what it is they're after and then be the mediator for lack of a better term between what this individual wants and then the resource they need to have it and I make introductions like that because I enjoy networking I enjoy seeing my connections and my friends win then that requires me knowing what people want what they're after having other connections that I can make introductions to and it's been a very very powerful way to excel yeah I feel fulfilled but I also excel Excel because these friends these acquaintances and these networking connections they want me to win - its reciprocal so you don't have to be the sleazy car salesman guy it's not what I'm suggesting you don't have to hand your card out to every individual who might actually buy something from you that's not networking okay that's sleazy sales tactics networking is finding other people who you can help figuring out how you can help them and then giving them that opportunity very that's all networking is and I've been able to make some great connections and because of those great connections we've accelerated very very quickly within order of men and I met my wife and named it any opportunity that I've had my other businesses have come because of the networking they'd be able to connect with successful people number seven so six again was effective networking number seven is physical presence now initially when you hear physical presence you might think that I'm just talking about being present in a moment and being aware and situationally aware of what's going on around you being present of course all of that stuff is very very important but there's another dynamic to this and this dynamic it's something that gets overlooked quite a bit because well I don't know necessarily why it is let me tell you what it is it is your ability to present yourself in a in an effective way it's the way you look it's the things that you wear it's the way that you carry yourself it's like keeping your shoulders back and having your chest out and making eye to eye contact and shaking somebody's hand properly this presence this awareness of yourself and how you're portraying yourself to other people is very very important and I'm not suggesting you manipulate it and I'm not even suggesting that you fake it till you make it but you ought to be very very aware of the message the nonverbal message that you're sending out into the world when you walk into a room or when you shake somebody's hand for the first time or when you make eye contact with that individual or when somebody looks at you what do they think about you what messages are you sending out without having to say anything and the sooner you can figure that out and move in the direction that you want to move the better off you're gonna be now people will say well real men don't care about how they look that's not true at all I've got a great friend called Tanner Guzzi his name is Tanner Guzzi who talks a lot about style and not only style but the psychology of style and one of the things that he does a series on is real men quote unquote real men don't care about how they look and he shows all of these men throughout all of time in history and how what they wore and why they were it and what they were adorned with and what it signified and he has said that in that series the men who seem to care most about what they're wearing is the warrior class and it's the war the reason I think it is and we've talked a little bit about this Tanner and I is because warriors know the true cost of battle they're intimately familiar with the cost of engaging in war and because of that they would rather posture this is my hypothesis anyways they'd rather posture and prevent rather than get themselves into battle because they understand that cost and so they'll do things they'll say things they'll wear things and they'll communicate verbally and non-verbally how powerful they are how capable they are is that show of might in a way so that they can avoid confrontation now we can take that evolutionary hardwiring and psychology and apply it to modern times if you look attractive people both men and women get more opportunities more opportunities with the opposite sex more opportunities for promotions and jobs they make more money and you can think well that's not fair you can think about real men don't care about how they look you can do all of that that's fine you can play that game it's just not reality so your feelings don't really matter in the case the reality is that the way you look and the way you present yourself matters it speaks volumes to individuals and you can ignore it and you can play ignorant to it or you can recognize it and use it as a tool but just the way a carpenter would use a hammer to build a house you can use your presence and the way that you're non-verbally communicating with other individuals as a tool and a benefit to help you accomplish more and produce effective outcomes for you and other people if you want a great resource on this I would definitely follow Tanner Tanner Guzzi his last name is spelled gu zy he's very very active on Twitter you can find him there and follow the man learn from him figure out what works figure out what doesn't we're gonna get more on the other side of physical presence in here in a minute but that is something that's very very important something that's overlooked and quite often dismissed by men who think that they're above the way they look or it's not important and it is number eight and this is the last one that I wrote down on my list and then I've got four or five bonus points based on what these guys shared on Instagram but number eight is continual education continual education a lot of people seem to believe that once they get done with high school or or college that they've got their degree now the learning is over they don't need to figure out anything else well I mean you're I guess you can do that but if you're not open to new information you're not learning new skills you're not evolving and growing and expand you're selling yourself short I just got an email before I hit record on this podcast and it was a gentleman who he he apologized and I really wasn't sure what he was apologizing at first and what he said in the email was that he didn't generally agree with what I believed about masculinity and he dismissed what I was doing because he didn't agree with all of what I was saying and then he encouraged other people not to listen to the podcast because of how wrong he thought my my ideas were but he said you know I've I've listened to you I listened to another podcast you're on and he can see how I've evolved and how my thoughts have matured and offered that apology for not necessarily giving a fair shake which I actually really appreciate that level of humility I mean obviously in this case it feels good but just that level of humility in any situation to admit to some may be wrong thinking and try to rectify that situation but it's a testament to the power of evolution you know you'll hear people who say you're just not the same person you used to be that's right I'm not the same person I used to be and if I was that would be the problem the problem is not that I'm evolving that I'm growing that I'm changing that I'm a different person the problem comes when you're the same person so continue to grow find things that are interesting and fascinating be curious explore learn say yes to things that normally you wouldn't say yes to open yourself up to the broad possibility of what this life has to offer and you'll be very very surprised what you'll find and where it will lead five years ago six years ago I never in a million years thought we'd be leading this organization and we'd be impacting millions and millions of men across the planet it started because I thought it would be a cool idea to figure out how to podcast and so I podcast it with my old financial planning firm I started a podcast and you know it didn't work I enjoyed the meeting of podcasting I didn't want to continue to have that financial conversation and so I pivoted and here you are listening to the order of man podcast after doing this now for five years it's grown it's morphed if devolved it's becomes they knew it's become better because I I hope and I strive to be open to continual education and continual learning so those are my eight skill sets now you inevitably listen to this and thought that you agree with some you probably disagree with others and I'm sure I'm sure that you have your your your list in your head of things that you think should be included here and if that's the case that's great I would love to hear that you can share that in the comments on youtube you can hit me up on instagram or twitter both at ryan McClure my last name again is spelled mich le R I made a post on Instagram the other day and we talked about my eight skill sets and then a bunch of men chimed in and gave their thoughts so I thought I'd share those as bonus with you I'm not gonna get it in depth with you but just some more meat to chew on if you will so the bonus answers that the guys game on Instagram number one survival skills so yeah learning how to survive in an emergency a natural disaster some sort of situation where you might be out in the wilderness or find yourself alone or you have to get out of a situation I definitely think hunting is there that's something I've been very very involved with over the past two years but shelter making building a fire food storage anything to keep you and other people alive another one was self control and then also self awareness I think that those self control in the self awareness could probably fit a little bit into the emotional resiliency I think stoicism addresses both self control and self awareness I also think the self control side of things can be focused on when it comes to self defense because you begin to learn more about yourself so I realized there's a lot a lot of crossover in these but I thought those were worthy of consideration self control self awareness another one spiritual strength the individual who said this and several individuals did say said walking with God now that's something that I choose to do I choose to follow his path God is present in my life and an important factor in what it is that I do in my business and in the community and with my family I I'm sure it's like that for a lot of you guys if it's not God okay some sort of higher power higher calling some sort of tapping into something that's above and beyond yourself maybe you want to call it the universe or energy or multiple gods I don't know I don't know what you call it I call it God that's what it is for me whatever it is for you but there's power in having some sort of higher authority higher compass it's probably the best thing is it's a compass to keep you grounded in reality and move you in the right direction when we deviate from the compass things go south quickly every time I've ever deviated from that path things have gone south every time I've made a conscious decision to stay on that path things have went well a lot of guys say they don't want to subject themselves or put the mercy put themselves at the mercy of a god or the universe or whatever it is well okay that's fine but these self-imposed limitations and parameters in which we operate are going to serve you it's the whole discipline equals freedom mentality it just goes deeper and broader than that another one that somebody talked about was leadership wholeheartedly agree leadership is critical a third component of what it means to be a man is to preside to lead effectively and by incorporating all of the eight that I shared with you today I believe that you're going to be a better leader a more capable leader somebody who has vision and can guide and and direct and cast the vision and help people get to a place that they could not have imagined going on their own so leadership a critical component of manliness and masculinity and the last one and I kind of lump these all together but it's just it's it's basic handiness so auto repairs plumbing electrical fixing other things around the house being creative building projects working doing woodworking working with your hands the more that you can be handy the more capable you are the more reliable you are the more frugal you can because you can do a lot of things yourself but there's value in being handy I have not always been handy I'm not the most handy guy now but I'm constantly learning and evolving and figuring things out it used to be that I change light bulbs well now I can wire fan it used to be that I could just fill up the gas in the gas tank well now I can change my own oil and I can diagnose what's going on when I can't get the car to turn over so we we continue to learn which is a point that I made point number eight and we get better and we approve ourselves as being handy so those are some bonuses again you're gonna have a lot of bonuses as well so please share we're gonna call this one a day but again let me just recap here and we'll let you get out to it again guys I know this is not an exhaustive list I get that I'm not even suggesting that it is I'm not suggesting that this is all you need to know it's just to get the wheels turning a little bit and you thinking about what you should master number one physical strength number two assertive communication number three self defense number four emotional resilience number five financial acumen number six effective networking number seven physical presence and number eight continual education continual learning so that's what I've got for you guys today again connect with me on youtube if you're not already watching this video if you are watching the video maybe you just want to listen to the podcast when you don't have access to youtube or don't have time to sit down and watch a video you do that to connect with me also on Twitter and Instagram at Ryan McClure and as I part today I just want to tell you that I appreciate you guys I appreciate you being on this path whether you realize it or not you being on this path with me is helping me to become more capable it's helping me be accountable and responsible for what we're talking about here in every other facet and corner of what we we address so we'll sign out until next week next week I believe my conversation with Jack car jack car author of terminal list and true believer goes live so you're definitely gonna want to subscribe to the podcast or on youtube and we've got some other great interviews lined up all right guys get out there take action and become the man you are meant to be

Channel: Order of Man

Views: 487,122

Rating: 4.9039154 out of 5

Keywords: order of man, manly, masculinity

Id: SShNf-SE2iE

Length: 35min 23sec (2123 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 11 2019