7 Weapons That Seem Awesome But Are Totally Impractical

if there's one thing video games do better than any other medium it's cool and unusual weaponry from swords the size of refrigerators to uh huh just says fish what the hell are you doing gotcha but although many awesome video game weapons might sound cool on paper the actual practicality of using them in real life would be a much different story whether due to their ridiculous size or the fact that they're much more likely to hurt you than anyone you try to use them on don't believe me well i'm hurt that you don't trust me actually but just consider these seven awesome video game weapons that are in fact wildly impractical then you'll see enjoy elden ring is a collaboration between fromm software the folks behind dark souls and george r.r martin the mind behind game of thrones as such some things you come across are very much from software creations and some things are very george rr martin and some things heresy is not native to the world it is but a contrivance okay well that could have been either of them one more explicit reference to martin's work however can be found in elden ring after defeating the boss known as leonine miss forgotten who drops a weapon called the grafted blade greatsword that bears more than a passing resemblance to the iron throne from the game of thrones tv series based on martin's a song of ice and firebooks as anyone who's watched the show will remember the iron throne is made out of hundreds of defeated enemy swords melted and reforged into what has to be one seriously uncomfortable piece of furniture the same process appears to have been used for the grafted blade greatsword as the in-game description tells us that a lone surviving champion from a country now vanished was so determined to continue fighting that he claimed the swords of an entire clan of warriors now that sounds pretty badass until you take a look at the damn thing and realize that he has essentially glued 40 swords together into a giant unwieldy supersaur that is so heavy it takes a whopping 40 points sunk into your strength stat to wield it meaning that most players at this point in the game won't even be able to use it properly also it looks totally ridiculous like you're carrying a robot pine tree over your shoulder you know what works as well as 40 swords one sword with the benefit of you actually being able to lift it [Music] all i'm saying is there's a reason that nobody in game of thrones stuck a handle on the iron throne and started hitting people with it welcome to delta squad where are we going embry square colonel hoffman's waiting for us oh this is gonna be awesome when asked to design the perfect weapon seven out of ten children drew us a picture of a chainsaw stuck to a big gun grab those tags the other three said that they dreamed of a world without weapons and that we were weird for asking and they're right but our point such as it is is that the notion of the lancer assault rifle from the gears of war series has an immediate visceral appeal not least when you use it to peel your enemies viscera all 10 children should look away now and that is why they're not called gears of peace the mark ii lancer is a fully automatic firearm with the chainsaw bayonet issued as standard by the coalition of ordered governments to their hulking infantry with both long-range and up-close lethality this combo weapon is as versatile as it is powerfully awesome at least on paper in action however the lancer is a massive guaranteed liability to its user what would be perpetual risk of chopping your own fingers off look at the hole under the barrel where your hand goes half an inch from a high speed chainsaw blade and nary a handguard in sight don't tell me the battlefield isn't littered with the dismembered digits of careless soldiers and if you don't saw off your own fingers there's still every chance that when you lodge the underslung chainsaw in the anatomy of your locust foe the whirring blade will spray fragments of shredded bone into your unprotected eyeballs this potential blinding hazard could of course be neutralized with appropriate safety gear but not one of marcus phoenix's squad could find a helmet large enough to fit their big burly heads except for carmine you good yeah but i got a problem something's wrong with this thing it keeps jamming see sniper and he's glad he bothered [Music] you can follow the thinking of the makers of the final fantasy viii gunblade the signature weapon of moody dreamboat protagonist squall leonhart [Music] take one thing and combine it with another thing and then you have a thing that's two things and therefore twice as good like for example the washer dryer the houseboat and my personal fave the waffle pancake it's the breakfast treat with the fluffiness of a pancake but the syrup pockets of a waffle patent pending so it was that the weapons engineers of bar lamb garden mercenary academy created squall's iconic gunblade which is a whacking great big sword with the grip cylinder and trigger of a revolver also a dangly charm because why not a very awesome hybrid weapon you might think with both the long range power of a projectile weapon and the being a swordness of being a sword except no because much like a two-in-one shampoo the gunblade sounds brilliant but is in fact less than the sum of its two parts set aside the awkwardness of swinging a sword with an off-center handle shapes like a gun grip and you have to contend with how the gun blades wielded by both skull and his moody dreamboat antagonist cipher don't actually shoot anything no in fact the premise is that you the gunblade haver drag your oversized sword within sorting range of your enemy then strike them and pull the trigger at the exact right moment then the gunblade firing mechanism directs a targeted blast down the blade for enhanced damage operationally it's the swordfight equivalent of patting your head and rubbing your tummy at the same time and if you do get it right judging by this cutscene you might manage to put a shallow scratch on the forehead of your handsome nemesis that gives him a scar that only makes him look cooler and handsomer [Music] just saying gunblade technology didn't truly mature until final fantasy xiii when lightning had a massive sword that converted into a straight up actual gun see get yourself a sword that can do both bloodborne is a game full of horrible horrible monsters trying to kill you from werewolves to whatever the hell this thing is some of the most terrifying enemies in bloodborne however are the ones the game refers to as great ones lovecraftian monstrosities with word salad names like rom the vacuous spider or mergo's wet nurse you know what i'm not thirsty another of these great ones is amygdala a gross nightmare of arms and trypophobia who you'd be well advised to stay as far away from as poor possible or if you're a weirdo you can use the severed arm of one of its kin as a weapon on the surface the idea of using the amigdalen arm as the weapon is called seems pretty badass it's the severed arm of a smaller amigdale and great one that you can use to batter your enemies into submission which i admit does send a powerful message [Music] however closer inspection reveals that while the arm takes the form of a kind of bone club for regular attacks its transformation attack extends the arm into a kind of gross flappy tendony scythe that is clearly moving under its own power horrible to look at yes but even worse is the fact that this arm is clearly still alive and capable of independent movement enjoy it while you can because this thing is murdering you in your sleep the first chance it gets as the name suggests a warhammer is a hammer for doing war much like a roofing hammer is for doing roofing and a ball peen hammer is for peening balls i think i don't really know hammers stendar's hammer in the elder scrolls iii morrowind meanwhile is not just any old warhammer but the warhammer of stendar god of justice on display here in the museum of artifacts in god's reach in the city of mournhold whatever you want within reason this huge antique weapon is made of precious sapphires and ebony and you might think the perfect hefty combination of spikes and bling for a jobbing adventurer like yourself not least on account of its truly savage maximum chop damage of 100. except hang on because the hammer of stendar weighs 1 000 units this makes it the heaviest item in all of morrowind 10 times heavier than the next most massive weapon in the game and although debate rages on regarding whether a morrowind weight unit is equivalent to one pound or one kilo the former would make stendar's hammer as heavy as an adult male moose and the latter as heavy as a toyota yaris in either case this is an impractically chunky hammer if you were to steal stendar's hammer from the museum you wouldn't get it out the door without performance enhancing potions since the maximum natural encumbrance of a player character is 500 units of weight and then good luck lifting this thing to swing at your enemy when i remind you it weighs somewhere between a big moose and a subcompact car your only hope is that your enemy trips falls and lands face first on one of those spikes so maybe leave it outside his house [Music] that'll do it turok the main character in turok as the name suggests a dinosaur hunter a job as dangerous and difficult as well as hunting dinosaurs as such turok needs to have an impressive arsenal of weaponry to get through these terrible thunder lizards scaly hides from your standard pistols and shotguns up to the cerebral bore a homing dinosaur hat that drills out your enemies brains are we sure this isn't a typo and it's actually turok dinosaur hater because that's what i'm getting from this and while the cerebral bore might be impractical and possibly even dangerous if you mistook it for a casual snapback while heading out to the shops there is one weapon in turok two seeds of evil which is even more trouble than it's worth i'm talking about the razor wind which to put it in simple terms is a chainsaw frisbee boomerang a simple chainsaw frisbee might be okay if you had to go over and pull it out of whatever luckless dinosaur you just flung it into every time you used it but the fact that the razor wind returns to you every time you throw it is surely a recipe for more missing digits than wesley snipes his tax return even more stressful is the fact that when turok holds his hand out to catch the razor wind when it returns he has all his fingers outstretched like he's daring it to slice them off honestly i can't watch every time i'm convinced it's about to turn into turok finger hunter probably some of them are going to roll under those crates turok i'll check there first [Music] the series grand theft auto began live 25 years ago as a top-down vehicular crime scene where the violence you could do on other people was considered by the moors of the time somewhat shocking well it's not nice that's for sure but only in their wildest mid 90s dreams could the hauser brothers have foreseen that a quarter of a century later you a grand theft auto player would be hunkering down in an underground lair in a shared online city of breathtaking detail and complexity to obliterate another grand theft auto player with a targeted orbital cannon strike ah progress the power to direct an orbital cannon to atomize the jerk who totaled your favorite car is needless to say extremely cool and gratifying but beyond that we need to talk about the cost prohibitive impracticality of a weapon whose ammo so to speak costs actual real-world cash money the gta online orbital cannon is going to cost you half a million in-game bucks per disproportionate show of force which converts to one gta online bull shark cash card or five pounds 99 of real money out of your real pocket for that money i could get one double shot caramel macchiato a marginally wiser investment what i said marginally needless to say costing six pounds a pot makes the orbital cannon a highly impractical weapon of choice in los santos unless you're elon musk in which case you'd probably just cut out the middleman and build yourself an orbital weapons platform irl rather than faffing around with pretend money that doesn't exist and by the way five hundred thousand dollars a throw is just with manual aiming if you want the system to do the targeting for you that'll be another 250 000 that's how they get you with the incidentals i mean that and making you pay to fire a weapon in a video game oh boy the lesson there is don't piss off mike in gta online because he can afford to get you with an orbital cannon at least once or twice um if he sacrifices his his double shot caramel macchiatos his actual preferred coffee of choice if you ever need to buy micah coffee anyway thanks for watching this video about the awesomest but also least practical weapons in gaming um we hope you had a nice time if you didn't why not try something else like this video from outside xbox which is a similar format but entirely different content or this video from outside extra our sister channel and this one is about easter eggs in playstation games that were really obscure so if that sounds like your bag then go for it and we'll see you next time for a video like this every thursday on outside xbox why not subscribe do it now mention the patreon oh also you can support us by joining the ox supporters club on patreon if you so desire that's over here check it out

Channel: outsidexbox

Views: 484,505

Keywords: outsidexbox, andy farrant, jane douglas, mike channell, 7 things, grafted blade, elden ring, grafted blade greatsword, amygdalan arm, gunblade, squall, lancer, mark 2 lancer, mk 2 lancer, gears of war, gta online, gtao, orbital cannon, orbital weapon, funny, funny moments, stendarr's hammer, morrowind, razor wind, turok 2

Id: C21foWOZUI4

Length: 16min 12sec (972 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 07 2022

Reddit Comments

[u/MrTheHan]

I would like the behind the scenes commentary on Jane and Mike blowing each other up in GTA Online.