(lively music)
(leaf picking) (bell dinging) - [Narrator] Hey,
Psych2Goers, welcome back to another video. Have you ever met a new classmate who was so charismatic that they were instantly likable? Or encountered someone
who drew everyone to them with their magnetic presence? While there are certainly some qualities and character traits that
can get you far in life, like intelligence,
integrity, determination and perseverance, charisma is arguably one of the most important but most difficult to achieve. Charisma is defined as a special
quality some people possess that allows them to relate
to and inspire others on a deep, emotional level. And to a lot of us, charisma
seems to be something elusive, intangible and innate. Charismatic people are
natural-born leaders who effortlessly command
the attention of everyone in the room. They're very confident, charming, inspiring and easy to be around. That's nothing you can just fake. Psychology, however, argues that charisma isn't as intrinsic or
predetermined as it might seem. It's now thought that we can attribute, build and cultivate charisma
within ourselves over time. So here are six tried and true ways that you can be the most
magnetic person in the room. Number one, set a playful tone. First impressions do matter. While it's true that first impressions aren't always accurate, and the way you feel or perceive someone can change over time. First impressions do hold
a much more meaningful and lasting impact than you might realize. If you want to be charismatic, it's best to set a playful tone
with people you first meet. Come in with lots of energy and get the ball rolling right away. Don't make the mistake of
letting your nerves show by keeping your voice quiet and making the gestures small. Make a point to be more
noticeable, outgoing, friendly and warm. Then you'll be surprised
how much easier it'll be to connect with people, make friends and get them to like you once you do. Number two, tell people some good stories. Whether it's at a party or a presentation, it's always good to have
a few interesting stories and funny anecdotes up your sleeve. Making your audience laugh will really captivate their attention. And if you're able to move them with your masterful storytelling, then you'll have no
problem attracting a flock of people around you at
every social gathering. Be confident in your delivery. Keep your story short and focused. Tell it in the present tense and use a lot of animated gestures. Don't be afraid to pause for effect and use a variety of voices to make it more interesting. Number three, think on your feet. Aside from being
confident and charismatic, another quality that
really draws people in and makes you seem more fun to be around is if you have a witty and
quick-thinking sense of humor. People who know how to think on their feet are easily perceived
as being more likable, clever and alluring, so stay sharp in your
conversations with others. You don't even need to be
smart or explicitly funny to pull this off. All you really need to do is think fast and act quickly every
time you see an opening. Be it for a tasteful joke
or an interesting story. Banter with people to make them feel more engaged
in your interactions too. This will instantly
make your conversations seem much more lively and
thoughtful than if you just react and nod along to everything
everyone else is saying. Number four, say what you feel. Charismatic people tend
to be very open and honest about their thoughts and feelings, which is what makes them so easy to trust. So if you're talking to
someone you want to impress or befriend, don't make the
mistake of lying to them or pretending to seem more
agreeable or impressive. Instead, say what you feel. And this will make you seem more genuine and easy to talk to but of course, it's also important to be mindful of the
other person's feelings, so be honest but polite when you give your opinion on something. And if you feel like you've
stepped on a sensitive topic, such as politics or religious beliefs, then quickly but subtlety
steer the conversation back to a more neutral ground with a dismissive joke or vague but still truthful answer. Number five, smile with your eyes. In counseling psychology, there is what is known
as the SOFTEN technique and it's something counselors
and therapists alike use to make people more
comfortable in their presence. It's all about using your body language to your advantage and it stands for smile, open posture, forward lean, take notes,
eye contact and nod. Using any one of these nonverbal cues, or better yet, all of them together, will really make people feel more at ease when talking to you, especially if you smile with your eyes. Smiling with your eyes
not only prompts people to smile at you in return but it also makes you seem more genuine and empathetic to others. And number six, be a likable listener. Finally, but perhaps most importantly, being a likable listener is really key to seeming more likable, magnetic and charismatic
to those around you. People love talking about themselves, so be sure to encourage that. Make someone feel heard and valued by asking them open-ended,
talk-about-themselves questions to elicit a more thoughtful
response from them. You can ask them things like why, what does it mean? What was it like? This works especially well
if you can find something that the other person is passionate about because it makes them excited
to answer your questions and wanna talk to you more. So what about you? Do you see yourself as someone
magnetic and charismatic? Or do you still think you might yet need to cultivate these skills? Let us know in the comments below. As long as you remember
these nifty tips and tricks, your skillset should grow over time. Using these tips is how you
become the kind of person that others wanna be around. Please like and share this
video if it helped you and you think it could
help someone else too. The studies and references used are listed in the description below. Don't forget to hit the Subscribe button for more Psych2Go videos
and thank you for watching. We'll see you next time.
