6 Signs You're Being Manipulated

[Music] hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about six signs you're being manipulated now let's begin number one object constancy this strange phenomenon plays a critical role in every one of your friendships and relationships just imagine you and your closest friend get in a fight maybe you butt heads over a stupid misunderstanding you both lose your tempers you both feel frustrated and angry and the fight may last for a few days but during a fight how do you feel about your friend you still like them don't you even if you're fighting your feelings about your friend haven't changed it works the same way in romantic relationships if you and your partner get in a fight you still love each other even if you're frustrated at the moment this is object constancy it's your ability to maintain positive emotions about someone despite feeling angry or annoyed in lasting friendships and relationships object constancy keeps you moving in the right direction you can apologize and make up because the love between you still exists but what happens when you argue with a manipulative friend or partner when a manipulator gets angry their object constancy flies out the window they'll insult you they'll degrade you they'll yell at you they'll treat you like a complete stranger as though your friendship or relationship never existed now when a friend or partner reacts like this it's tempting to blame yourself you feel like you made a huge mistake and you try to undo the damage you've done but the problem isn't you it's them their feelings for you are selfish and shallow they don't care deeply about you as a person they only care about what's best for themselves and that's why their love for you disappears when things get heated number two weaponized guilt guilt is one of the strongest weapons for manipulative people it's a tool they use to avoid their own mistakes pass the blame and take advantage of others there are two kinds of weaponized guilt the first is up front and obvious a manipulator will create guilt using a direct accusation these accusations are often shameless unfair and easy to recognize but that doesn't make them any less effective just imagine you're playing basketball with a friend the game gets a little bit heated and you accidentally knock your friend to the ground your friend falls awkwardly on their wrist and they end up in a cast in the weeks after your friend may blame you directly for their injury they may convince you to run errands or do favors for them saying hey you're the reason i can't do it myself when someone consistently blames you for something especially if it was an accident guilt is a natural response you want to make it up to your friend you didn't mean to hurt them so you give in to their guilt trips hoping a few favors will even the score but that rarely ever happens instead a direct manipulator takes advantage of you as many times as they can no matter how badly it makes you feel the second type of guilt is much more subtle let's say the same scenario happens you're playing basketball your friend falls and breaks their wrist the next day your friend may say something like i would make lunch if only my wrist wasn't hurting so badly now this time your friend is creating guilt without actually accusing you of anything but it's implied after hearing a comment like this you feel responsible for your friend's injury you feel guilty that they got hurt because of you and each time your friend emphasizes their pain or limitations it feels almost like a direct accusation weaponized guilt is one of the common and destructive habits in any friendship or relationship guilt is used to make someone else feel bad to take advantage of them for your own personal gain if your friend or partner uses guilt on a regular basis you're being manipulated number three emotional blackmail manipulative friends and partners use your fears and emotions against you this can be an incredibly confusing and painful experience it's one of the most prevalent forms of emotional abuse because your friends and partners know you better than anyone they know what you're insecure about they know what you're afraid of and they know how to hurt you so what does emotional blackmail look like there are many different ways to blackmail someone but insecurity is the common denominator your friend or partner uses your worries and anxieties to make you doubt yourself and that self-doubt drives you further into their clutches alright let's try an example imagine you're thinking about leaving your partner you're having doubts about the relationship so you brought up these concerns to your partner but they don't listen instead your partner uses emotional blackmail to trap you inside the relationship they say at your age i'm the best you're going to get suddenly you feel insecure and afraid you begin to wonder if your partner's right and your confidence disappears completely now this isn't the only kind of emotional blackmail out there manipulators also use threats warnings and intimidation to instill fear in their partners some use insults and criticisms to shatter your self-esteem others use your past against you leveraging one mistake over and over again emotional blackmail is not just manipulative it's abusive if your friend or partner is emotionally blackmailing you it's time to leave that person behind number four excessive monitoring does your partner text you constantly do they pester you with questions like where are you and what are you doing this kind of behavior is called monitoring driven by anxiety or insecurity your partner feels compelled to keep tabs on you they're worried you're going to betray or cheat on them so they go to great lengths to monitor and control your behavior in the beginning monitoring doesn't seem that bad your partner may act a little bit needy but neediness isn't always negative many relationships resolve that neediness by fostering a strong trusting bond but what happens when that neediness grows what if your partner is constantly compromising your space what if your partner floods your phone with calls and messages every time you leave the house your partner claims they're just worried about you but monitoring is a form of manipulation your partner wants to control and restrict the things you do they want to know about every nook and cranny of your life not because they care about you but because they want to control you alright let's say your partner calls you repeatedly when you hang out with your friends now on their own a few phone calls are pretty harmless right but over time your partner will create a rift between you and your friends and that way you spend less time with your friends and more time with your partner so just pay attention to the way your partner acts when you're apart do they give you the space and trust you deserve or do they hover over you every second of the day if the latter sounds familiar you may be in a manipulative relationship number five self-victimization this type of manipulation can be difficult to spots but it can easily turn any friendship into a toxic dynamic self-victimization means playing the victim your friend or partner may frame themselves as the innocent victim of every situation the world is always coming after them and they're never at fault in any relationship victims pass the blame onto their friends and partners victims think they're doing everything right they believe they're putting in all the effort in the relationship they think they're the ones doing all the work while framing you as lazy or selfish playing the victim is just as manipulative as anything else on this list you play the victim to make others feel sorry for you it uses a subtle combination of guilt and shame to tug on other people's heartstrings victims act like you're the source of every problem in their life while completely ignoring their own faults if you know someone with a victim complex don't let them control you it's difficult to see through their lies criticisms and backhanded compliments but if your partner constantly plays the victim you're being manipulated six passive aggression passive aggression is a tool used by almost all manipulative partners instead of openly expressing your anger a passive aggressive person will subtly manipulate their friends and partners alright let's say your friend flakes a plan you made together at the last second they ditch you leaving you feeling disappointed and angry the healthy response would be to tell your friend how you feel they'll likely apologize and the two of you can move on but a passive-aggressive person would do something like this they would wait until the next time their friend wants to spend time together then they would intentionally ditch them ensuring their friend feels just as disappointed as they did now some people call this revenge but it's just one of many ways that a passive-aggressive person expresses anger or frustration but not all acts of passive aggression are dangerous sometimes passive aggression is small and harmless some people simply don't know how to express themselves any other way if your partner is passive aggressive on a regular basis communication is often the answer tell your friend or partner that it's bothering you and they'll make an effort to change but what if your friend does it on purpose what if your partner continues to be passive-aggressive even after you've voiced your concerns if this sounds like your situation you're probably being manipulated hey thank you for watching top think and be sure to subscribe because more incredible content is on the way

Channel: TopThink

Views: 119,178

Rating: 4.9246454 out of 5

Keywords: signs of manipulation, signs you’re being manipulated, signs you’re being manipulated by a friend, relationship, signs of a psychopath, signs of manipulative parents

Id: YuIpvO0oYPw

Length: 9min 43sec (583 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 03 2020