5 Tests Men Use to See If You’re a High Value Woman (And How to Pass The Tests)

we all have tests that we use to determine whether someone is right for us or not does he make you laugh is he attractive can he spell or use grammar in his text messages these are all tests that women in our community have told me that they use to tell if a man is right for them or not well guess what men have tests as well and these are some of the the tests that men use to determine how valuable you are to them hi i'm matthew coast and welcome to commitment connection here are five tests that men use to determine whether or not you're a high value woman test number one is he pulls away at some point just about any man that you're really attracted to a guy that you date or a guy that you're in a relationship with is gonna pull away for one reason or another what you do when he does this can determine whether he thinks you're a valuable woman that he wants something deeper with or whether he should pull away further or even disappear altogether so here's how you fail the test you chase him you freak out you get angry at him you attack him or you punish him those are all things that will make you fail this test and make him feel like you're not that valuable that you're not the kind of person that he wants to be with now here's how you te you pass the test you give him some space you invite him to come back to you and then you make him work to get you back if you do this the right way you'll stand out from all the other women that he's ever met and you'll feel like you're special unique and different most women lose their minds they absolutely lose their minds when a man pulls away don't be one of those women if you want to continue to see him so you if you're here with us right now just say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from it's really cool to see women from all over the world watching these live streams so number two is he challenges your boundaries so if it was up to most women to move things forward towards a romantic relationship the population of the earth would dwindle down to almost nothing that's a little bit of a joke but in all reality men typically are the ones that push things forward in most situations and so most guys know that if he wants something romantic and physical with you he has to lead things there or it probably won't ever ever happen right most guys know this if a guy hangs out with you and he goes on dates with you over and over and over again and he doesn't move things forward it probably won't ever happen unless you just get totally tired and you're like hey are you gonna finally kiss me or something right which is what happens a lot and then you're in our community going is this guy gay what's going on with this guy we have to be like no no he's a really really nice guy and then you lose interest and and so this is what happens right so a guy has to push things forward and what that means is that he's probably going to push and challenge your boundaries if he wants something romantic and so here's how you fail this test you let him push past your boundaries and then walk all over you in the short term this may make him like you but in the long term he'll end up losing respect for you and he's far less likely to value you if you do this he's less likely to feel like your relationship material like your girlfriend material like your wifey material like you're any of those kinds of materials if you let him push past your boundaries and get away with whatever he wants to get away with instead you need to set boundaries if it's something that you're interested in like he's making some kind of move on you you know he's trying to kiss you or you know he's trying to touch you or something like that but you need more time you need to let him know that right there's this thing that we've talked about before where it's kind of a hard like a hard no versus a soft no a hard nose like no i'm not interested don't do that and a soft no is like hey not yet right not yet not yet and so a lot of times women try to give off a soft no but it comes off as a hard no and so if you are interested and you are interested in that at some point but not maybe not right now because you don't really know him you need more love and connection and tenderness you need to make sure he's the right guy then you need to let him know in a nice way that this is the situation that you're in that you are interested in him but yes you're just not ready yet it's not time yet and if it's something that you're not willing to accept at all you need to let him know that as well so if you set and stick to your boundaries he's far more likely to respect you and feel like you're different unique and special and that's what you want you want him to feel like you're you're different like you're you're more valuable than all the other women that he's dated so number three is he sets up a date and then waits to talk to you on the date right so he waits so he sets up the date with you and then you don't hear back from him again until the date this is this is a common test that a lot of guys use believe it or not and sometimes this isn't even a conscious thing it's like a subconscious thing that he's doing or it's he maybe he's old-fashioned why because before social media and text messaging made it so that we were able to contact each other with you know every single second of every single day people used to set up dates right they'd set up a date with each other and then they would just meet each other on the date like that's usually what would happen back in the day and now people are a lot more impatient because of the ability to get instant feedback and they're just sending messages back and forth well a lot of high value men still date like the old way because it weeds out a lot of women who are desperate and needy and who are trying to eat up all of his time and who need you know massive amounts of attention because they're not doing what i talk about and making sure that you know they're coming from a space of feeling like they're whole and happy and strong and worthy and then there they have an abundance of connection which are the things that you want to do if you're not coming from that space you might be coming from the space of being desperate and needy and clingy and trying to eat up all of his time and he doesn't want that he has a life and he needs someone who can fit into that life not someone who is going to completely derail him and pull him off of course the way to fail this test is to freak out on him get angry at him or cancel plans at the very last minute because you haven't heard from another way to fall to fail this test is to start chasing him instead of waiting for the date or waiting for him to initiate contact again on the other hand you you don't want to meet up with a guy if he's completely forgot about you because then you'll show up on the date and he's not even going to be there right and you're like i went on this date and i thought you know and i was listening to matt coast and he told me that you know that i should you know maybe it was it was a test right so what's the best way to handle this the best way to handle this is to wait until the day of and then ask him if you're still on right just send him a text quick test and say text message and say hey are we still on and that's it that's all you have to do if he doesn't respond you don't go on the date if you get what i'm talking about right now say i get it in the chat if you don't get what i'm talking about or you have some kind of question about your situation or anything or you just want to talk to me about life because you think that it's so interesting to talk to me go ahead and and ask whatever questions you have in the chat we'll get to it here in just a minute we're on number four and there's five of these these are really important so hang in there number four is he checks to see if you're on his side so this is kind of more of a passive way of testing especially in the modern world of the war of the sexes men are looking for a woman who can actually be on their side instead of against him the way to fail this test is to try to change him is busting on him in front of his friends or going against him or fighting with him or any of that kind of stuff flirting with other men in front of him leaving him at parties or gatherings that you go to together teaming up against him with other people or making fun of what he does or who he is those are all ways to kind of destroy this thing where it's called the partnership principle of being on his side of him feeling like you're you're in this together like you're going to the same place together if you want to pass the test support him in his dreams and goals encourage him talk him up around his friends and family and be his cheerleader when he needs it i've seen men who have said that they don't believe in marriage and then they ended up getting married to a woman who shows who ended up showing him that she's really on his side i've seen this over and over and over again because many men in america especially in america right now but it's starting to happen all over the west feel like they're under attack from the media from women and from our culture we have a thing called the war of the sexes going on over here in the west and it is it's pretty bad it's pretty bad but if you can be on his side it can make a massive difference to him and the way that he sees you and he can feel and think of you as the type of woman that he wants to be forever the forever one so number five this is the last one he sees how you act in a situation that challenges you so let me explain what this means so the things that break relationships apart they don't usually happen during the good times it's usually during the challenging times that typically breaks people up and a common way for men to test women is to take her to something that challenges her to see if she responds to doing seeing how she responds to doing something that she's not really comfortable with so this could be something simple like taking her to a sport that she's not used to playing or having her do something that she's not good at or that he's good at but she's not really good at it right so the way that you fail this is to do things like you suck at something and so you start attacking him or other people around you you you blame other people or things outside of yourself for not being good at something you lose your mind you start freaking out and then you're you just run off you just run off and you're like ah i can't stand it that you brought me to play ping pong and i suck at it ah i'm gonna run and you just start running out of there and that is a wig great way to fail this test so the way that you pass this test is to remain calm be patient and allow yourself to learn something new so just chill out have fun with it be playful poke fun at yourself just enjoy yourself and have a good time at what you're doing so that's it for this one if you really want to raise your value in a man's eyes and you want a man to love you and cherish you make sure that you check out the forever woman program you can get it for free at the foreverwomanformula.com it's a great program lots of women have used it to turn their situations around and get into great relationships with great guys many of those women have gotten married at this point we've had women that who are married that have used it to turn things completely around for themselves so go check it out if you're interested it's free you can get access to it for free it's called the forever woman it's at the foreverwomanformula.com so let's go through some of the questions let's see what people are saying today hello hello hello greetings hello uae jersey cancun casey says hi i'm from texas i absolutely love what you say well thank you casey i'm i absolutely love that you're here and listening to us and trusting me on your journey to creating the relationship that you want to have so thank you so much i think you are awesome you are awesome you're awesome so let's see ann says hi matt maryland i agree with you if they do it spiruling sparingly i behave the way you are saying but when it comes becomes a repeated behavior every month by pulling away that is a red flag and not acceptable yeah and and that's something that you definitely want to pay attention to right because like i said everything's everything's both sides right it's there's never like a lot of times we get women that'll come and they'll be like well why aren't you teaching men how to be gentlemen you know aren't they aren't you supposed to be teaching men how to be gentlemen and it's funny because if you go over to the men's dating side and there's a lot of people on the men's dating side there's a lot of coaches over there if you go over there and look at the comments in their comment sections it's all why aren't you teaching women to be better women and being nicer to men and treating us with respect and all that kind of stuff and it's so funny because everybody's just kind of pointing fingers at each other but the reality is is that it's a two-way street right we all have to learn how to connect with each other better and be a better partner to each other that's what we want right we all want better partners we want that to have better partners in our lives and the only way we're going to have that is if we're both better partners and so it is important that you look at him pulling away he's pulling away every month you know what does that mean right what does that mean he's pulling away every month is he pulling away for a couple days is he pulling away for a week is he pulling away for a couple weeks is he pulling away and just not messaging you back is he ignoring you and so you want to look at it right is it normal behavior or is it something that's abnormal behavior that you should be concerned with and that it's a red flag and so like i was talking about earlier we've kind of worked you know got into this world where we have this instant gratification that comes from text messaging and messenger apps and social media channels and stuff and so we're used to just you know messaging back and forth i had a woman one time who was from brazil and she was talking about how this guy that she was seeing pulls away every single day and i'm like what is what does that mean to pull away every single day i was like is are you talking about he disappears in the evening and then shows back up the next day and she's like yeah that's what he does is he you know around six o'clock he stops messaging me and then he doesn't start messaging me until the next day again and it's like well that's kind of normal behavior right he's got a life he's got things to do and so you have to figure out whether this is normal behavior or whether it's abnormal behavior and then look at yourself and say okay what do what do i want you know what's acceptable here you know what kind of a relationship do i want to be in is it really necessary for me to be in contact with a man every single moment of every single day or is that something that's something weird that's going on with me right because a lot of times we look at the other person we say okay you know those people are weird and a lot of times the weirdness is actually going on with us you got to admit it i'm a little weird you're a little weird we're all a little weird sometimes and there's nothing wrong with that and we have to look at whether the weird that we have going on with us is a little bit dysfunctional or is it healthy is it coming from a healthy place or is it coming from kind of this neediness place this place where you don't feel like you're enough or or you feel like you're not really worthy and so you're trying to make something happen and you need validation from this person constantly or you don't feel good about yourself and so that was kind of a long drawn-out answer but and yeah it can be a red flag for sure and you want to take a look at that absolutely jamie says yay finally get to see you live you're awesome thanks so much for all the advice in your program well you are absolutely welcome jamie thank you so much for being here i appreciate you so scarlett says your advice always resonates with me can you also talk about boundaries in the context of when with someone for a year or two well it depends on what you're concerned with right so what's your concern is have things already kind of spiraled into a direction that you don't want them to go to is it just something small or something important uh that that that is a lit you know little things here and there so it really depends on what you're talking about here scarlet so if it's something that's really big that that had been set like the frame you know i talk about frames a lot if the frame or the precedent behind the relationship behind your interactions behind everything that you're doing is already set and it's been set for a really long time it can be really difficult to kind of break that pattern and create a new one you can do that right you can absolutely do that or if you're just talking about little things that that you wish that he was doing or he's not doing or whatever those are things that you can create frames around i have a program called the the love frames toolkit where i talk all about setting frames and how to create a frame if if a guy's not really doing what you want him to do it's very very easy to actually start encouraging him to do those kinds of things and then seeing what he does from there especially if it's a small thing that's not a big deal all you have to do is wrap a frame around it and the frame can be something like this is attractive or this is hot or whatever right but if it's something that's a big boundary thing like he's he's betraying some kind of boundary like he lies about this or he does things about that or whatever you can set boundaries about that but you can also you also want to look at it in terms of this as a person right and this being a person who might have this kind of thing ingrained in him and so it boundaries are kind of a big topic especially once you're in a year or two and so i'd need a little bit more information from you scarlett about your situation and what kind of boundaries you're trying to set or what kind of situation that you think maybe you need boundaries with or what kind of behavior is a problem that you're looking at so let's see carmella says how do you slow down a man that is too eager to keep in touch too often for comfort it was fine in the beginning but it's starting to become taxing and time consuming again and this is exactly what i was talking about before right because we've we've all right it's on both the men and the women's side like i talk to you because i'm talking to you about these things that either work or don't work and these tests that men have but a lot of these tests are the same for women it's not like you know it's just men that are in this situation a lot of the women that come to us are in these situations where they're doing things and they're pushing guys away and here's one of the challenges that you're going to run into here carmela is that when you start being like hey you're you're contacting me too much right what you're doing is you're kind of pushing him away and what that does is it creates a rubber band effect and it's going to make him want to do it more often it's something that he needs to work on within himself and he needs to learn about and one of the problems is it's it's difficult especially in your when you're in a relationship to coach somebody on that or teach somebody about that because then they start feeling like they're not good enough and why are they why is he trying to do that all the time and i hear this women from from women all the time right i always hear women that are like how do i get men to you know text me every day and contact me every day and then and then when you do have a guy who's texting and contacting you every day you're like how do i get him to stop doing that it was charming at first but it's not anymore and i i hear that same sentence almost i i think it probably heard it at least a dozen times or more now and so you can let them know i mean you can tell them you know and like i was talking about with boundaries what you do with boundaries and how you communicate a boundary is tell him what you want or tell him what you like right they they call it kind of like a sandwich or something right you give him something where you you tell him that you like him or you tell him that you love connecting with him or you tell him that that you're really flattered by him and that it makes you feel really good when he contacts you and then you set the boundary which is you know but i've got a lot of things going on and i can't always be talking all the time and every day and so you know if i and and it might not even be a thing with him right it might be just for you setting this boundary and making sure that he knows that you're not going to be con you know responding to his messages all the time and you don't want to do it just cold turkey and just stop messaging him but instead what you want to do is communicate just be like look i've got a lot of things going on and you know these times of the day there's actually a book out there is called the four hour work week by tim ferriss and one of the things that he talks about is setting boundaries with phone calls with people and saying having on your voice messenger where you're like you know hey this is carmella and i take phone calls you know i only respond to phone calls during the hours of you know 1 p.m to 2 p.m and 4 p.m to 5 p.m if you want to get a hold of me make sure that you contact me during those times right and so it's it's basically kind of a similar thing here where you're like hey look i'm you know i love contacting i love how much you like to be in contact with me it really makes me feel special and amazing and wonderful as a woman and at the same time i've got a lot of things that are going on and so i might not always be responsive to your tax especially during the day i have a lot of time during the day when it's really important for me to be working and so i might not respond to your text at all during that those times and it would be easier for me if you didn't contact me during those times that way i didn't feel like i felt a little bit obligated or something to contact you back and instead we talked like during the evening or something like that or you know maybe uh twice a week or three times a week instead of every single day or whatever thing you're trying to set up here right and just communicating with him and then at the end of it just telling him you know i really love you know hanging out with you and spending time with you and talking to you it's just it's a little too overwhelming for me and it's i just i need a little bit more space and just letting him know that and and if he's if he's socially smart and he's and he understands any kind of social dynamics whatsoever he will give you some space and if he doesn't this can be a test for you with him right to see how he kind of reacts and see what he does and if he's getting all starts getting all needy and clean which he might if he's connecting with you out of a space of neediness in the first place then that's a good place for you to know that he's coming from that space so i hope you understand what i'm talking about there carmella all right let's see what do we got next lots of people get it i'm glad you get it so wanda says i lost someone i loved because i did all the wrong things that you had explained i can't believe it well and you'll lose some people sometimes for different things and it's just you know sometimes it's them sometimes it's not you sometimes it's all kinds of different things but what i'm teaching here is how to put yourself in the best possible position how to set yourself up in the best possible position so that you have the best chance of getting into the best relationship that you absolutely can get into so that you're setting things up right so that it's healthy so that you know what's going on so that you're protecting yourself from getting hurt for in the best possible way that you can right there's nothing that's absolutely certain out there right there's nothing absolutely nothing that is absolutely certain out there except for within yourself being certain within yourself and and knowing what you want and and making sure that you get into great situations and that if it's not a great situation that you figure it out as much as you possibly can outside of that there's not really a whole lot that's that's um yeah so all right so let's move on so penelope says hi from new zealand love your advice you're the best how do i stand out when dating a guy was dating other girls so penelope i like your fun talk there and so how do you stand out when a guy is dating other girls my suggestion is that you date other guys that's the best absolute best number one thing that you can do to stand out to guys is to start dating other guys as well because what you do when you do that is you create abundance and you might be thinking in your mind and i don't know you penelope but you might be thinking in your mind right now but matt i do not want to date other men this is the one man that i want to be with why can't i just make things work with him and not date anybody else and you can and it's possible and your best chance at getting him to chase you and pursue you and value you and feel like you're different than all the other women that he meets is to stop treating him like he's the only man on earth that you want something with you have to break out of that mindset and get into a mindset of abundance an abundance of options there are billions of men on the planet and they're this isn't the only guy that you can have a great connection with there are lots of guys and once you start connecting with other guys and start creating great connections with other guys see it always feels like this is the only one if there's one person and you're connected to that person you're like oh this is the only one and i don't want to have to find somebody else but if you're connecting with a bunch of different guys and you're having great connections with more than one guy then you're like oh it's not that big of a deal that we have a good connection because i have a good connection with somebody else as well and you start flipping the script around and so it's not about how do i get this one guy to see me as special and amazing it's is this guy special and amazing and different than all the other men that i've been meeting out there and how is he right because right now you're in this frame of he's the prize i've got to win him over i've got to show him that i'm different and special and if you flip it around and you get him into the frame of him trying to prove to you that he's different and special and unique he will automatically start thinking that you're different and you're special and you're unique and that's what you need to do is you have to flip your mindset around it's all about your mindset where you're at right now and you have to believe that you deserve a great guy and you have to believe that you're going after the relationship not just the guy that you want and so the relationship is the goal and what guy gets you to the goal is the guy that's going to win right and so this is this is the mindset you need to have there's the goal it's the relationship it's this amazing relationship where you're loved and you're cherished and he sees the brilliant amazing wonderful you he sees that smile on your face and it makes him feel butterflies in his stomach and he thinks i have to win this woman over how do i win her over i gotta do things that make her think that i'm special and i've gotta woo her and i've gotta treat her great and i've gotta do all these great things right and if he's not in that mindset it's going to be very very difficult for you to get into that relationship and that's why it's better to have a smorgasbord you must have a smorgasbord of different men that you're choosing from and so you want a bunch of different guys and i'm kind of running off on a tangent here but that's what you need that's what you need you want guys to be competing for you not the other way around right now what you're doing is you're competing for him and you're going to lose that and so you want to flip it around you want him to be competing for you and the best way to find that out is to use the forever woman formula go to the foreverwomanformula.com all right do do do do do do [Music] [Music] so this this whole chat thing kind of resets when i go to the bottom and then i gotta go back up to the top and look at what i just went through all right lots of i gets it uh-huh karina says hi matthew thanks for all the great advice big fan well thank you i appreciate it i'm glad that you appreciate my advice so thank you so much for being here to love thank you says there are more women on this planet than guys guys have more options than we do wait what how many billions of people are on this planet it also depends on where you live right there are some places that you can go that are superman heavy right there's a place called denver and denver is actually nicknamed menver because there are a lot more men there than there are women and so women there tend to have a much easier time at dating because they have a lot more options but the reality is is that there's lots of dudes out there i mean there are lots and lots and lots and lots of dudes and women it's easier for them to get into a romantic situation with a man than it is for a man to get into a romantic situation with a woman in fact there's actually been studies done on this and they did a study on the percentage of men and women who are celibate and what they found is it's i think it was around like 16 or 18 percent of women right now are celibate which means that they haven't physically had sex with somebody in at least a year men on the other hand is around 27 which is like one if you meet four guys one of them hasn't hooked up with somebody in a year i mean that's pretty out amazing you know i mean that's a that's that's crazy right and the reason is is because a lot of women are competing for this top tier of dudes and all these dudes are like that are at the top are just hooking up with lots of women and then there's a whole bunch of guys at the bottom that aren't hooking up with anybody but they're a lot of them are really really good men and so i would get out of this mindset of like men have it easier than women do because that is just not that's just not true at all right it's not true in in any way shape or form it's difficult for everybody right now and it's one of those things where i i wouldn't i would you know if you're worried about there being more women on the planet than men just go to a city just go hang out in the city somewhere because there are so many people men and women that you're going to find lots of dudes that are single there and it won't shouldn't be a problem for you at all and so get out of that mindset that mindset is going to destroy you that mindset will destroy you taylor says what about getting an ex back what about it taylor what about it i have a whole program on it it's called restart your relationship if you go to commitment connection dot com forward slash restart dash your dash relationship you can go get it for one dollar it's a program you can get for one dollar [Music] lisa says love your advice well thank you lisa i appreciate it jemker says what if i am pulling away from him well what if you were pulling away from it okay where are you going with that huh jamker sharon says is a text periodically okay because you want to share something funny with him a video chat at night yeah i mean well it depends on what's going on in your situation sharon so you come on here and you say is it okay for me to send him a text once in a while it has he been texting you does he initiate text normally if he's been texting you and initiating text normally then it's absolutely okay to send him a text every once in a while why because relationships are a two-way street two people coming together and building the relationship it's not one person if you're if you're the only one trying to build it it's a problem if you're the only one reaching out to him it's a problem if he's not initiating contact with you if he's not trying to meet up with you if he's not doing things for you and with you then it's a problem that you're reaching out to him because he doesn't really care and he's not really that interested there's some kind of red flag going on there and what you're doing is chasing him because you you like him and you value him really highly and he doesn't value you all that highly however if he's been chasing you and initiating contact with you and taking you out on dates and doing all these things with you and hanging out with you and spending lots of time with you then sending him and uh initiating contact with him sometimes isn't a big deal getting on a chat with him at night isn't a big deal it's not a big deal right if there's if you're hitting the ball back and forth right if you're playing the tennis match and you're hitting the ball over and he's hitting it back over and he's hitting the ball over and you're hitting it back over it's not a problem but if you're hitting the ball over and it's just hitting the wall and you're just taking balls and hitting them against the wall that's a problem i hope that's clear sharon so pamela pamela says you're great and thank you you're welcome and thank you she says i've got a guarded man because of past experience it's taken him a while to figure out i know he cares about me but when will he tell me how he really cares he has a ranch that i have not been to yet because of his religious beliefs of his grandmother when is there a time frame for him to bring me well i would be very concerned if you had gone if you had gone more than six months if you've got more than like six to eight months and he's not showing you to his family he's not you're not friends with his friends he's not you're you haven't seen his place right if you if you haven't seen his place and it's been like you know if you guys are physically getting intimate and you're having a real relationship and you haven't seen his place and it's been like three months six months right there's something weird going on and so any of that kind of time frame if you've gone six months eight months a year and he hasn't gotten really serious about you he's not taking you to meet his parents you're not a part of his normal everyday life there's not something normal going on he's not talking about trying to move things forward he's not pushing things forward with you that's a huge red flag because it's been shown that men by uh by by around the six month to eight month period of time have figured out there's been research studies done on this and they figured out that men know by that time most men know by like the eight month mark what they how what what kind of position you have in their life right he knows whether he wants to marry you whether he thinks that he wants to have kids with you whether you're just a girlfriend whether you're just a friend with benefits whether you're somebody that he's hiding from the rest of the world because he doesn't want them to know about you he knows within eight months what's going on there and if it's been longer than that if it's been like a year and that's still going on you need to you need to get out of that situation for sure unless unless that's you're okay with that situation but most women aren't most women that are here and that are going through this and that have been talking to me and that have been going through my stuff they're not okay with that and if you're not okay with that then you have to know and you have to believe that you're worth more than that and so i hope that i hope that helps i hope that answers your question casey says sometimes we as women can be clingy without realizing it but it's important to kind of give them space so we don't freak them out [Laughter] yeah guys can do that too right everybody can do that everybody can be clingy everybody can be clingy to love thank you says they don't pay me enough attention well there's probably a reason for that you might want to figure out what that reason is so why would a guy not pay you much attention why would men in general not pay you much attention there's a reason for that and so you might want to find out what that is it could be that you're hanging out with all the wrong guys it could be that you're doing something that really turns guys off because that could be true it could be that you're you're going to the wrong places to meet men it could be that it could be a lot of different things so you want to figure out what that is and then figure it out and get around it so that you're in a situation where guys do pay more attention to you because they can and they will if you're doing the right things and you're connecting with them in the right way and you're around the right kinds of guys if you're around the wrong kinds of guys they're definitely not going to pay attention to you if you're around if you're doing some things that are huge red flags to guys then you're definitely going to turn them off and make them want to run away from you and so you want to make sure that you're putting yourself in the best possible position which is the reason why i put together the forever woman program is so that you can understand what the basics are and how to make sure that you're getting into the best possible situation where a guy's moving towards you and he's interested in you and you're not throwing off red flags and clean needy behavior and all that kind of stuff so i hope that answers your question there so jennifer says the man i'm seeing has stage four cancer he recently got bad news and i haven't talked to him for a few days i'm worried and want to check on him but i understand he needs space what do i do well stage four cancer is a pretty extreme thing right that means that he's there's a really high probability chance that he's not going to make it in the near future and so if he gets some bad news i mean it's he might be freaking out he might have all kinds of different things going on i mean it's one of those things like you're in a situation where it's like you're probably going to lose this guy at some point you have to realize that you have to be very very aware that there's a good possibility that you might lose this guy at some point and so if i were you i wouldn't be so worried about it right about reaching out and saying something to him because if if he has stage four cancer and he's getting bad news then he's probably in a situation where he's like hey i want to spend time with people that i care about and if you reach out and say something nice to him or just ask him how he's doing or whatever it you know i i've never had stage four cancer before but i'm guessing that he'd probably appreciate it and if he didn't appreciate it or he has something else going on it's probably a good time to start detaching yourself from him so that you don't get into a situation where you're totally devastated by whatever is going to end up happening with him which there's a very good possibility that something devastating is going to happen with him in the very near future and so you know make sure that you're taking care of yourself and and taking care of your own needs and taking care of your connection needs specifically so that it's you're not i mean i don't know what your relationship is to this guy how long you guys have been seeing each other or any of that kind of stuff but if he's in stage four cancer i mean he's in a he's in a bad place you know maybe i don't know if it's mentally but definitely from a physical standpoint and so you just you want to be very careful there in terms of how attached you get so that you're not getting devastated when he ends up leaving for whatever you know because he's he's not going to make it through life anymore because he's he he doesn't want to have to deal with the idea of having a relationship and breaking your heart and seeing you get your heart broken and all that kind of stuff which is something that could be coming up for him definitely if he's in that situation and so i mean you you can definitely i wouldn't i wouldn't shy away from just reaching out to him and finding out what's going on with him and just making sure that he's okay and if he doesn't want to talk to you and if he wants to ignore you and he wants some space that's fine you know just give him that space and make sure that you're building your connection with other people not necessarily men although maybe depending on what your relationship is to him and make sure that you're in a good space for yourself so that you're taking care of your own needs and making sure that your you have a support system around you when he ends up leaving which you know he could at any time so all right let's see marie tester says why is it that some guys get upset if a woman is busy and lives her life and doesn't respond to text messages immediately then play guilt trips because they're coming from a space of neediness and insecurity and feelings of low self-worth and like maybe they don't really deserve it and so instead of admitting those things to themselves and dealing with it they soothe themselves right so this it for for everybody right men and women most people out there are have very low self-esteem that's how most people in the world are they have super low feelings of self-worth they believe that they don't really deserve great things in their life they don't deserve love they don't deserve happiness they don't deserve great things and so the way that they deal with that is to do something that psychologists call soothing and soothing what that does is it's a way of of taking care of yourself right it's a way of loving yourself actually where you defend yourself or you put yourself into situations where you can feel like you're worthy and deserving and what you don't realize is that it's usually a very temporary soothing effect that you have on it right which is why you get into these situ there's men and women that get into these situations where they they need that constant response from somebody because they they want to feel like they're worthy and so they're getting that from you and then you stop doing it because you've got a life and you've got things going on and then all of a sudden they start feeling like you're the problem because you were the person that was giving them their drip of worthiness that they were feeling and so what you have to do what they have to do is they have to start believing in their own worth they have to start becoming their own source of worthiness so that instead of getting their their fix of worthiness from you they get their fix of worthiness from themselves and they believe that they're worthy and they believe that they're they're deserving of everything they want in their lives and so when then if they're in that situation and you say hey i don't have time to talk right now let's talk later or you don't respond to them for a whole day or whatever then they get it right because they understand that you have things going on and it's not all about them anymore because when you're in that space where you're needy and you're desperate and you're clean it's not about you right it's about them right they are in that space and they're like i need i need i need i need and that's why they're desperate and that's why they're clingy and they're selfish and they don't realize it because that's their world that's just how they think things are and they think that happiness comes from the outside world they think that their feelings of self-worth need to come from the things that they have right their money whether a woman talks to them or doesn't talk to them whether when they send you a text message they receive one or not right and if you're listening to me because i i guarantee there are some women listening to me that are coming from that space of neediness and cleanliness and they need somebody to respond to them immediately and if the guy doesn't respond to him or he says the wrong thing or any of that kind of stuff then they start freaking out right and it's a red flag it's a red flag this guy is giving you red flags right now and he's saying hey i have self-esteem issues i have self-worth issues i have neediness issues i have issues where i depend on the outside world in order to make myself feel good about myself and as long as you're with somebody like that right which is like we're talking about these tests here this is this is a test right you're doing literally doing exactly what i was talking about in one of the tests if you're doing this test on a guy and you're like hey i need some space or you don't respond to him in a day or whatever and he starts freaking out and he gets angry at you and all that kind of stuff you know that he's got low self-worth and that he's not valuable as much to you and you start losing interest and you start losing attraction for him and you start going what's wrong with these guys right and so this is exactly what i'm talking about this is exactly what i'm talking about you are the perfect example of this situation happening in reverse where a guy's doing all this stuff to you and you're going hey why is this guy doing this to me and you're losing interest and you're starting to take him for granted and you're starting to feel like he's not all that valuable and you start to you know do all these things where you're like i don't want to deal with this it's too much it's exhausting i need some space and if he he has a decision to make right now which is am i going to give her some space which will make you value him more or go back to the levels that he was at before or is he going to get angry and self-righteous and resentful and start blaming things on you and all that kind of stuff which will make you want to pull away further and or disappear altogether and so that's that's the situation that you're in i just wanted to i just wanted to talk about thanks marie for for talking about that and asking that question so that i could emphasize that to everybody who's watching right now so that everybody could really really get it here so okay brenda says thanks for all your help you are absolutely welcome brenda [ __ ] says hi matt great advice as always well i appreciate it [ __ ] let's see so oh let's let's go off of this other part that your marie was asking about she says also why do guys say they don't want a relationship just casual stuff then because they are chasing the woman constantly texting them and the woman meets up only occasionally reminds him this is casual they run away and accuse the woman she got clingy to me so many more guys are appearing to be insecure knee yes that's exactly what it is right he's he's avoiding anything real because he's scared of real connection he's scared of getting hurt and so what he's doing is he's flipping the frame right he's trying to flip the frame he gets needy and clingy and he's used to doing this right this is something this is a pattern in his life he's getting needy and clingy he does it over and over and over again and then the woman ends up losing interest and being like what's wrong with you and then what ends up happening normally for him is that she starts getting distant and pulling away and disappearing but what he's trying to do instead is he's trying to save himself by accusing you of doing the exact behavior that he's doing so that he feels like he broke up with you and he can retain some of his power and control and not take the breakup as bad because this is something that happens to him all the time and so that's what's going on there and so if you're with us right now and you're interested in getting into a great relationship and you want to attract a great guy even if you're in a situation where you're seeing a guy and you want a relationship where a guy really loves you and he values you and he cherishes you and he sees you and he thinks this woman is the most amazing woman i've ever met in my life and i don't want to ever let her go then make sure that you check out my free program you can get it at the foreverwomanformula.com and go check out the program get yourself a copy of it you know it's helped a lot of women attract great guys into their lives some of the women have gotten married some women who are married that have used the program have gotten uh have fixed their marriages uh it's helped women get over guys get over an exes help women get back with exes help women do all kinds of things and so thank you so much everybody for being here with me you women who are part of our community are some of the most amazing beautiful and awesome women in the world so thank you so much for being here with us today i've gotta go get going right now i've there's i have a friend that has a pet squirrel and he said it was running around he really wanted me to come and pet this squirrel and so i'm gonna go pet a squirrel but thank you so much thank you so much for being here with us today thank you for trusting me on helping you in your journey to attracting the man that you want to have in your life and getting into the relationship that you've always wanted so thank you so much and i gotta get going but uh i will speak with you again soon and always remember you are worth it

Channel: Matthew Coast

Views: 21,803

Rating: 4.8874559 out of 5

Keywords: how men test women, men test women, ways men test women, do men test women

Id: 88q_LXH85-A

Length: 55min 48sec (3348 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 16 2020