4 Biggest Mistakes Women Make Who Get Taken For Granted By Men

okay so let's just be real here you don't want to be taken for granted by a guy you want to be in a relationship where you're loved and you're seen and you feel like you're important to someone you feel like he really cares about you I don't want you to be taken for granted by a guy guys don't want to take you for granted really nobody wants you to be taken for granted at all right like guys like it a lot more when they appreciate you and value you like everybody prefers that and so today there's there's a lot of it look I'm not going to I'm not going to dismiss anything that a guy does right like guys they they can do things that you don't like and you know they can take you for granted and I'm not gonna dismiss that however I want to make sure that you are taking ownership of your part and what you can do to make sure that you get into and stay in a great relationship you get into a relationship where you're valued and seen and you make sure that that doesn't go away for especially for no good reason right for something that that you can prevent one of the things that I used to find when I was in the men's dating industry and one of the challenges that a lot of guys have is that they'll meet a girl that they really like and everything they get along really really well with each other and what I found is that usually the reason that it doesn't work up work out is because they do something to screw it up with the woman and it's actually the same in the women's side right like a lot of times it's like your personality your natural personality he wants to connect with that but it we have these things that go on inside of us then a lot of times it's our insecurities sometimes it's you know just different things where we are our past right like past hurts that we have so we're we're hurt and we want to protect ourselves and so we do all these different things or or maybe we we come from a space where we feel like we aren't loved or we're not good enough or something like that and so we do all these different things to try to prove that we should be loved or that we can be loved or try to get a guy to love us and a lot of times it's those things that prevent him from actually loving you or having a you know and on the men's side in that case you know having a girl love them and and if you kind of got out of the way out of your own way and pushed all these things that you do that actually push a guy further away from you out of the way it's a lot easier for him to connect with you and love you that's one of the reasons I talk about leaning back and all those different things because a lot of times it's you know we feel like we have to do something or you feel like you have to do something in order to get love or to prove something or in order for something to go right and really it's usually the opposite you just need to stop doing something or just lean back chill out relax let go and just let things happen and that's when thing the magic usually happens that's that's when a lot of women turn things around and so today I'm gonna talk about four big mistakes that women make who end up getting taken for granted by men and what you can do to make sure that you that doesn't happen and instead you're loved and valued and appreciated my name is matthew coast and welcome to commitment connection and if you don't have my program yet you can go check it out it's over at the forever woman formula.com if you like my work if you like what I'm doing one of the best ways to support me and what I'm doing is to join our program and join our community and share this video if at all possible with a woman that might need it if you know someone who who's in a situation where she might need this help or some work or whatever that I'm doing please share the videos because that's really one of the best ways that we can help as many women as possible so what are some of the ways that women behave that end up getting taken for granted for by men and a lot of times they think that they're doing something that's helping them but it's actually hurting them and pushing the guy that's in their life away okay so and if you're here with us right now make sure that you say hi in the chat and let us know where in the world you're watching this from it's really cool seeing women all over the world watching our live streams it's really awesome so number one the first thing that women do to that who kind of get taken for granted by men is being way too available and so what this looks like is always being around always being available always being there having nothing else going on in your life except for him like basically smothering him with text messages with being around him with being at his beck and call being always available always being there and usually this ends up coming from a space of fear right fear of not being enough of not being important of not being valuable enough thinking that you're not really valuable enough and so you try to prove that you are by doing all these things for him and a lot of times I'll hear women say things like I gave my everything to this guy right and he still took me for granted and this is usually that case right they it's a very noble thing and looking at I mean it's really cool that you can give so much of yourself to a relationship but especially in the early stages and even on into the relationship you need to have a little bit of scarcity it's something that I call the scarcity principle I talked about this and the forevers woman program and you know most of the women that I talked to err on the side of being way too available and you know becoming the social planner of his life doing everything for him smothering him trying to figure out where he is and doing all that kind of stuff and and what you want to do is you want to lean back right you want to give him some space and I talked about this in my leaning back video as well but you don't want to be too unavailable either right there's a healthy middle ground like you don't want to be way on the side of being super available and you're always around and you're always there and you're in front of them and you're doing all these things for them and you also don't want to be on the side of being completely unavailable and not around and he can't even get into a relationship with you because you know you only have these small windows of opportunity for him to even be there and it doesn't really work out for him right and I've seen both with women and so you want to have a middle ground right where you have your own life and you have things going on in your life and you're healthy and and you make yourself happy and and you you think of yourself as a valuable amazing incredible woman and you have things going on in your life that you love your own passions your own things that that you really like and you still have a ability to connect with a guy and be there with him and experience different things with him so that's number one being way too available number two is having no standards and what this looks like usually is letting a guy walk all over you or them and you know having no opinions having no likes having no dislikes having no preferences having no standards that he has to get to or having a standard but then allowing him to walk all over that standard or push past that standard or not holding on to your boundaries or something like that right and and what ends up happening is a guy just he doesn't feel like you really are certain in yourself he feels like you put him on a pedestal and the thing that I talk about is the law of belief transference right you might have heard me if you've watched some of my videos you've heard of this before and if you haven't what it means is that whoever has the strongest belief about something is the one that transfers that belief to the other person so if you believe deep inside that you aren't worthy that you're not good enough that you can't keep a man that no man will ever love you that you know no good men are out there whatever those false beliefs are that you have if you believe those beliefs stronger than he believes something else about the situation like if he believes that you're amazing and valuable and awesome and wonderful but you believe stronger than he does that you're you will transfer your belief over to him and he will start believing the same thing that you do and what ends up happening is he ends up feeling like he's that that is true right that you're not that valuable to him and he ends up taking you for granted and doing a whole bunch of things that you don't want him to do and he doesn't even necessarily want him to do but he does it because it's it's it's difficult for him to do anything else because you're pushing that belief onto him so much just by being around him because your your belief systems kind of leak out in you and around you and to the world around you which is why I talk about you know the the three different aspects of making sure that you you know believe something that you communicate something that you've created a lifestyle around that so that when you're out there in the world it's like you can communicate that you're a high value woman but if you don't believe deep inside that you're a high value woman eventually that will seep out and it will go on to other people and you'll start behaving in a way even if you don't want to of a woman who doesn't believe that she's really that valuable and so what you need to do is one you need to change your belief systems and create beliefs within yourself where you believe that you're really a powerful amazing awesome woman who deserves the man in the relationship that you absolutely want and you need to make sure that you have standards and you have preferences that he can live up to and that show him you know and that you you hold to so that he can he can kind of strive to meet those standards and those preferences okay and so number three is chasing men who aren't interested I get women who do this all the time there's a woman in our community the other day who was asking if she should chase a man and one thing that I do want to say is that if a man is moving towards you if he is chasing you if there's a movement forward towards you and he's all over you and he's talking to you and he's doing all these things for you you can get away with a lot but if he's not if he's pulling away and he's backing off and he's not really that entry and you're moving forward towards him what you're gonna do is just chase them away and it's and that's just how it works right like if a guy is chasing you and you're not interested he will chase you away and you'll do the same thing with a guy if he's not interested in you so you have to make sure that you show interest in a man but you're not chasing him around right you wanna you want to like drop I call them like breadcrumbs or whatever right and and show them that you're interested and that you want him and you want him to chase you but don't don't chase him right show interest but don't chase and the the best thing that you can do with this is creating abundance and I talk all about this as well in the forever woman program you want to create an abundance of connection and an abundance of options and once you do that you'll you'll it's a lot easier for you to not even think about it and not feel like you want to chase guys because you'll have an abundance of different options there and you'll be sitting back and waiting for guys to to come and chase you you'll be leaning back and allowing guys to come and chase you and the right guys to step up you know if he's interested he will step up and try to pursue something more with you and you know if a guy goes away for days at a time or something like that just leave them be just let him be right but you also don't want to be in a situation where sometimes I'll hear these women in our community and they'll say things like you know I'm leaning back and he's leaning back or she'll be like oh he ghosted me right and I'll be like well you know did you have you messaged him at all and she's like no and it's like well you know is maybe you he thinks that you ghosted him right because you both aren't communicating with each other and and it's one of those things where a lot of times women will go to the extremes right they'll go from like chasing a dude and being all over them to doing absolutely nothing and like I said with everything else there's a middle ground there that you really want to be in that's that's where all the magic happens the magic happens in the middle remember that the magic happens in the middle and so you can connect with a guy you can reach you can initiate contact with him if he's been reaching out and initiating contact with you if he hasn't been then you can get yourself into a lot of trouble because then you end up chasing a guy who's not interested just like I said if you get what I'm talking about right here make sure that you say I get it in the chat if you don't get what I'm talking about or if you have questions about it make sure that you ask your questions in the chat and I will get to them in a little bit here and so the last one is allowing men in who only want hookups right and basically what this does is it makes you unavailable for good men and I hear women in our community who do this all the time and they're like oh yeah I've been you know in this friend with benefits casual relationship situation ship for you know however many years or whatever and really all it does and it's fine you know if you want to do that that's fine I'm not gonna tell you not to but I don't recommend it I don't recommend that you sleep around because what ends up happening is that you end up not being available for a good man who ends up coming around or you end up getting attached to a man who isn't really what you want or isn't really available for what you want and I see that with women all the time right they they end up getting attached to some guy and he's a porn addict or a drug addict or a you know alcohol abuser or he's emotionally unavailable or he's a wounded bird or he's you know any of those kinds of things that are out there and then they're like well what do I do to fix them and it's like well why are you trying to fix them well we're in this casual and then I fell in love and now I'm attached and it's like okay you know if my suggestion is that you don't sleep around don't get into those kinds of situations because that's you know I hear a lot of women that talk about this stuff especially now and it's actually on the men's side as well a lot of men out there I was just talking to a friend of mine who was who went out on a date with a guy and the guy was like he was from Peru or something like that and he was complaining to her that all the women that he meets just want hookups and they just want to sleep around and they want real relationships anymore and it was kind of funny to hear that because you know we hear that so many times in in the women's side of the community it's but it's on both sides right people are complaining everybody's just we're in the hook-up culture we're in the age of the hook-up culture and if you want to stay out of it if you want to get into a real relationship if you want something where a man values you and sees you and thinks you're an absolutely amazing woman my suggestion is that you don't sleep around it is possible that you can get there by sleeping around but it's far less likely than if you follow my system for instance and the forever woman formula go to the forever woman formula calm you can get the whole system there for free my suggestion is that you use it okay next we're we're gonna do question and answer here I'll go through and see what kind of questions everybody has see how many people are here chatting today and so again the four biggest mistakes are one being way too available Ryan always being around having nothing else going on in your life too is having no standards right letting a guy walk all over you because you don't uphold any kind of standards that you might have or having no preferences and I talked a lot about that and chasing stuff that I do chasing men who aren't interested right like you don't want to chase a guy who's not interested you want men to be chasing you you want them to come to you you can show interest just don't chase any guys and the last one is allowing men in who only want hookups my suggestion is that you do not sleep around too many women are in too many bad situations because they sleep around and because some people out there I guess there's some dating advice people out there who are suggesting that I do not suggest that I recommend that you stay out of the hook-up culture and that instead you you just don't sleep around and you wait for a real connection with a guy who meets your standards and who chases you and pursues you and who wants the type of relationship that you want and who has an emotion connection with you okay so what kind of questions do you have if you have any questions make sure you ask them in the chat and I will go through the chat and I will go through all the different questions that everybody has Hellena hearts says hey Matt you're the best I think you're the best - hey Lena thanks for being here cissie's - hi Matt hey Merry Christmas got lots of merry Christmas's Merry Christmas everybody it's Christmas tomorrow in case you're watching this on the replay so hello hello hello Merry Christmas let's see clicks madre says been watching Matt Helene and Adrian for about a week love you guys thank you I love you to you everybody here who is watching and a part of our community you are the best part of our community we have the best women in the world as a part of our community so thank you so much for being here I appreciate you I think you're absolutely wonderful iris says hi from Texas been dating a guy for three months and he pulled pulls away at times and yes I'm Way too available for him I even cater to his every need just don't know how to be different well how do you be different is to lean back and do what I talk about in the forever woman program creates scarcity I talk about the the scarcity principle in the forever woman program and that's what I suggest that you do is you create some scarcity so that he it's like a diamond right so why do people why do people value diamonds people value diamonds the same reason that people value that men value women and it's that you know diamonds are rare they're scarce they're beautiful they're difficult to obtain right and you want to have all the same ingredients as a diamond and the more you have those same ingredients the more valuable he will see you as and so that's what the forever woman program is all about is helping you see yourself as the diamond and helping you create the the communication in the environment so that he sees that you're the diamond and then he values you as the diamond so my suggestion is that you go to the forever woman formula.com and check out getting my program there for free there should be a link above or below this video depending on where you're watching it from so hello hello hello Bev says but what do you do if you lay back and then they want to know why you aren't available well you need to communicate I talk I talk all about this about how to do this as well in the forever woman program you need to communicate what's going on with you and so if you just disappear all of a sudden he's gonna think that you're either one cheating on him if you're in a relationship or two not interested anymore and seeing other guys and you don't want him to think those things right instead you want him to so there's kind of this thing out there it's called jealousy right like people want to do like jealousy things and make guys jealous and all that kind of stuff and and the worst way to do it is try to make guys jealous of another guy instead what you want to do is make him jealous of your other things right other things getting your time because what jealousy does if it's subtle is it makes a guy compete and if you want him to compete you don't want him to be competing with other guys necessarily you want him to be competing for your time that's a far more far healthier thing for him to be jealous about and then you don't end up screwing it up and throwing other guys in his face and him thinking that you're a horrible human being and so you definitely want to do that you definitely want to communicate what's going on with you so that he thinks he needs to step up right and start pulling you in more because you're unavailable and doing these other things and he's like wow you have an amazing awesome life and you're so into it and how can I compete with this well the only way I can compete is if I step up and make sure that I'm taking you off the dating market and that I'm chasing and pursuing you and that I'm impressing you and doing all the things that you want him to do in order to be invested and feeling like he wants to commit to you and the way that you do that is by communicating what's going on and then creating that scarcity and so like I said I talked about it in the forever woman program the forever woman formula.com go go there and do that misty Bush says love his mind thanks for sharing Matthew you're welcome Amal says talk more about how to love ourselves well that's a pretty big topic I'm about to start creating a some programs here about exactly how to and taking you through a process that I have for loving yourself it's called shadow work but basically the the base level of loving yourself is really acceptance right full acceptance of who you are your good side and your bad side a lot of times what people will do is they will find that they have this this side of themselves that they're embarrassed of or they're ashamed of or they don't want to talk about or they don't want to tell people about and so they push that side of themselves away and they don't tell anybody about it and they pretend it's not a part of them but it keeps creeping up right and it's the side where you feel like you're not good enough and you're not you're not worthy you're not somebody who deserves a great man and and once you accept that side and pull that side in and love that side of yourself all of a sudden that side loses its energy and it's a lot easier to control that side and not allow that side to kind of take over and control you right which is what ends up happening if you push it away and there's another side of it as well though which is the side where you see your own greatness you see how amazing and beautiful and wonderful you are and a lot of times people women will push that side away from them as well because they feel like you know they don't deserve it or that's not really who they are or you know all these other things where where they don't recognize their own greatness in their own their own beauty their own majestic nature right and so you need to pull both of those sides in and once you do that you create this this experience of being whole this wholeness experience where when you come from that space all of a sudden it's so much easier to to get rid of people who don't love you right or who treat you badly it's it's not even a question anymore if somebody treats you badly you're like okay get out of my life I don't want you anywhere near me because because I only want people who recognize this amazing human being that I am as well right not from a like a narcissistic point of view but from a point of view of of confidence and knowing that that you are a great human being that is worthy of love and is word and is ready to give love and spread your amazing myths around the world and with you know a great partner and give to a partner who's who's also worthy and deserving of that as well and so I hope that answers your question I could talk about that forever so Lalo says can you talk about narcissistic traits please that is the key well that's also a big topic I'll probably end up doing some videos on narcissistic traits here in the future my suggestion though is that you replace the word narcissistic with toxic because what ends up happening my I was just talking to my brother about this because he just got out of a relationship and he watched some video about narcissistic traits and now it's like it's like he's he's seeing narcissistic traits everywhere and every woman who's ever dated as a narcissist and then all women became narcissists to him and then you know we he had this realization when we were talking that you know a lot of those traits are some of those traits are in everybody right because it's they're just traits that people have and if you look at them as single individual traits sometimes it might be healthy it might not be healthy but you can't really call a person a narcissist just because I have one great and what it ends up doing is objectifying and dehumanizing people which ends up just creating bad relationships and and a challenge I mean there there are a lot of narcissistic people out there if you go by the kind of traditional definition and not the clinical definition of narcissism but like I said that's a huge topic and I'll probably do some videos later on it okay so it's a beautiful day says great point I was the woman who didn't feel worthy and put the man on a pedestal in 2019 I was the chaser I chased him away these points refer me alright well hopefully what you'll end up doing is stop chasing guys away and start instead allowing men to come and chase you and it like I said if you want to do that you should go check out my program the forever woman program it's a great program there so let's see Megan says my boyfriend of one year is a single dad and depressed due to numerous negative life events he has been withdrawn but assures me that he wants me in his life I don't live with him how often should I reach out well the real question is is he reaching out right like what's going on there you know the other thing that I would question is you know what's going on with you and him right he's a single dad he's depressed due to numerous negative events right so you know one of the questions that I'd have for you is is this guy a wounded bird that you're trying to like heal and help him right because that happens a lot with women because so many women come from this space of being really caring and really loving and really nurturing and so they want to help guys out right and you'll find these Wounded Bird situations where women are trying to like heal some guy and sometimes it can work right some kind sometimes you can inspire a man to kind of heal through his own stuff but that's usually not the case usually what the case is is that you end up enabling him and preventing him from healing because what a lot of guys do is they end up healing their past wounds so that they can be with a great woman and so if you end up fulfilling all of his needs by being with him before he's healed what ends up happening with a lot of guys is that they stop you know healing themselves and what it sounds like here is you're saying how often should I reach out which to me is kind of a little signal little flag that says well you know how often is he reaching out and why are you even asking about that right is he reaching out to you and if he's not reaching out to you that should be a question about like what's really going on here are you chasing a man who's not really that interested or you enabling a guy who's a wounded bird you know what's going on there but if you want a textbook answer about what it is and how often you should be reaching out you should be reaching out no more than 50% of the time he should be reaching out 50% of the time and you should be reaching out no more than 50% of the time ideally somewhere between 50 and 20% you know in some certain circumstances it is okay to do that more often but for the most part if you're here and you're trying to get advice and you feel like there's something wrong you should be reaching out less than 50% of the time and you should be encouraging him to reach out more to you so iris says iris from Texas been dating a man for three months we spend every other day together but Italians he sends me mixed signals cuz then he pulls away I don't get it I'm so good to him yep Joe Mack says what about long-distance relationships what about long-distance relationships Joe Mack's a lot of this stuff is in the same kind of realm of long-distance relationships long-distance relationships are a little bit more challenging here's so since you asked about long-distance relationships and even though that was all you said was what about long-distance relationships I will give you a little nugget on long-distance relationships and this gold nugget that going to give you is the question about what makes a guy feel loved and I'm just going to assume that you're actually in a relationship and this isn't some kind of online thing where you've never actually met the guy before and that you're not actually in a relationship but that you are in a relationship and that you guys see each other hopefully at least once a month if not more than that and what I would say is one of the most powerful things that you can give to a man in a long-distance relationship is asking him what you do that makes him feel loved writing and when you're connecting with a guy in a long-distance relationship and you ask him that question he he gets a chance to kind of tell you what what's good for him and what's not good for him and you want to hear that because you you know if you're connecting with a guy long-distance and he's not feeling like he's being loved from a distance and you feel like you're loving him it can be a huge mismatch right there's the five love languages book and that's a great book but it's kind of generic and it's it's things it's good for kind of setting up different categories of what things could be valuable but there's you know for each person there's an individual thing that that they really love right that they really appreciate that that makes them feel loved and that can be kind of outside of the five love languages stuff and so the best way to find out what that is for him is to actually ask him how like what you do that makes him feel loved alright let's see what else do we have here more happy Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Christmas KSS standards I agree standards how the standards Jinna Murray says does the get the guy program work if you were just dating for months we had a great connection but ended things because he said he wasn't ready for a committed relationship yet he's only divorced one year and I three years we have had contact bit minimal now I'm doing your program and waiting out 21 days with no contact yeah what I suggest for everybody is that you get the forever woman program because that gives my main principles for everything you can go get it for free at the forever woman formula.com you know and if you that's stuff that you absolutely need to know about all that stuff in there is stuff that you need to know regardless of what kind of a situation you're in and I'm gonna be putting out some new programs here in the near future about different scenarios and different situations from long distance to and I'm putting together a new one about getting your ex back and you know some new programs about connecting with a man's heart and you know getting a guy to fall in love and and all kinds of different things like that and so just watch out for those things so it's a beautiful day I was chasing what turned out to be a barfly in the end I chased him away but it was my blessing because he was a bar harem yeah you know it's definitely something that you want to think about Joe Mack says the separation of long distance and adult responsibilities are making our relationship frustrating and cause constant stress and arguments yep that can definitely happen for sure like I said do what I was talking about earlier and that will help you out a lot because you know if you're doing a whole bunch of things and and it's not really connecting with him and he's not feeling seen or he's not feeling heard or he's not feeling like he's you know really connecting with you then you know you guys might be doing all these things and you think you're trying to you know get somewhere with this relationship but it's going nowhere because you're going in the wrong direction Michelle says didn't text him today he didn't come around he didn't come around X took not sure what that means iris says it's so hard to say anything to him because I don't want him to run from me I get so hurt because I'm so good to him and he is just so reserved the only time I get affection is in the bedroom yeah you definitely need you definitely iris you definitely have a communication problem there and so you you have some you have some work to do you need to have some communication you need to make sure that you're doing what I talked about in the forever woman program and you need to you know talk about what's going on with each other so that you're not you're not feeling like you're being neglected in your relationship Jinna Marie says I was too available didn't know this was a problem yep it can definitely be a problem and you think that it's not a problem because you're doing all these things and you feel really good about yourself doing all of these things and you know how noble and awesome it is and it is really noble and awesome but it's not actually what most people need most people need some kind of space and they need that scarcity so that they you know can feel your value because they want to feel like you're valuable as well it's not you know guys don't want to take you for granted it's this you part of human nature right it works with men and with women men and women if you're two available all the time around them and doing everything and all that kind of stuff they'll end up taking you for granted it doesn't matter who they are or what you know they'll do that because that's part of human psychology it works with everything it's basic economics Dorothy says no booty call here good terry field says i don't sleep and he left ghost disappeared he went back to girlfriend and she broke up three weeks now he moved to her town yeah and that's one of the reasons why you have to be careful with people who are are you know they're just out of a relationship because you know you get a rebound and then you have somebody else who's already there who's been in their life for a lot longer and has a much bigger emotional connection that person and so a lot of people end up getting back with an axe because they find out that when they go into the real world it's like they don't have that same connection and they're really comfortable then and they got certain needs met and then they jump back into it because they feel like it's not really what is going on there that that they need in the new kind of situations so barber says is creating scarcity playing emotional games no it's it's giving somebody room right it's giving somebody room to breathe it's learning about how people work and connecting with them in a way that that they makes them appreciate you even more right and it's just it's that's that's how human behavior works right like people appreciate things that that are in high demand right like they're emotionally connected to and that they want but that are scarce right and and it's it's one of those things where if you're around a person all the time what ends up happening is they end up taking you for granted and they feel like they there's a term there's a term out there it's like a street term that people use and it's something like get comfortable right like you you've gotten too comfortable with somebody right and and you start talking to them like you you don't value them you don't appreciate them I used to do Zen meditation back in the day I did a few years I was in and out of zen temples for a few years doing a lot of meditation and one of the things that they said one of the one of the monks said is he said if one of they said that you should always be about three mountains away from your Zen master and the reason that they he says things like that is because when you're around somebody you start like noticing all the ways that they're actually human and you know eventually you stop seeing them as kind of this idealized human being which you don't want to look at you know a person that's an idealized human being or anything but the main point is that when when there's Garrus you see them as a lot more valuable and you see them as kind of this this figure that you want to see them as instead of kind of taking them for granted and doing all that kind of stuff but no I don't think it's playing emotional games at all I think that it's it's just you know looking at human nature and I think that there are different faces in relationships you know and and especially in the kind of initial and middle phases of a relationship you it's very healthy to have some space and make sure that you know you're not giving everything to a relationship and you know that you've created some space and you have your own life and you have your own identity that way if something negative happens it doesn't like destroy your world which is what ends up happening a lot of times right so it's not just for him to feel like you're more valuable it's also for you to make sure that you're putting yourself into the best situation possible Dorothy says we have the best coach ever loved this community awesome wall high five high five to you Dorothy I appreciate you being here and thank you for saying that I am the best coach ever so Victoria says I'm in a very unusual relationship where we have very deep feelings towards each other on every level but we are very far apart from each other it's a torture to not be able to not be able together because his country would not let him out here what should I do well have you actually met this guy before is this person a real person that you know and that you've met if it's not a real person that you know and that you've met my suggestion is that you'd be very careful because there are a lot of scams out there and we hear about them all the time and make sure that you never give this person any money don't buy them anything don't pay for anything for them don't do any of that kind of stuff because that is a scam and if it's not a scam which it probably is but let's say that it's not my suggestion is that you start meeting and dating other people and find people that are at least in your own country or in a country where you can travel back and forth to and they can travel he can travel back and forth to and it's not a problem this whole thing where you're getting into a relationship with a person who's in a country who he can't come to your country and you're not going to his country that's a big red flag and it's something that you need to look at and make sure that you're not getting into a scam or a sketchy situation Cece says how do I fix him thinking that I'm too young to be attracted to him yet we're 47 and 61 he's very attractive well if he says things like you're too young to be attracted to me it's probably that he's feeling like insecure about his age and the age difference that you two have between you I you know I there's not a whole lot you can particularly do to make him or fix his thinking right he's got to fix his own thinking outside of you just creating kind of a safe space and and just letting him know from a matter-of-fact standpoint and not putting a whole bunch of pressure on it not you know pointing it out and talking about it all the time but just being like yeah you know what I don't care about the age difference and if you care then you know you need to figure that out and if it's a problem for you that's fine just let me know and if you come from that standpoint and you say something like that to him he's far more likely to be like okay it's fine and if he's not then you know it's something that he needs to work through it's not something that you can fix for him he needs to be able to come through that and figure that out himself sue says our dating websites really the way to go the answer to that is no I just got out of a 23-year relationship in January but not sure if that's the way I want to meet singles yeah I don't think that's the best way to meet singles it kind of depends on where you live and what's going on in your area and how many people there are your area and if there are high-traffic kind of areas near you that you can go to where you can meet men without going online I don't think that the best way is to go online I know plenty of people who do online dating who have met great people online and there are plenty of great guys online however you do have to weed out a lot of guys and you can end up getting jaded and there's a lot of bad things that happen online and lots of scammers and stuff like that and in my opinion the best way to meet somebody is through is in-person and the guys that you will meet in person out and I'm not talking about at bars but out during the daytime are some of the best men that you will meet period and so my opinion is that the best way to meet men is to meet them in the real world and not online although you can do that if you need to create abundance like I talked about in the forever woman program okay Tanya says what do you mean what's going on with you I don't know what was that in reference to Maria says hi Matt what do you do if you're in a LDR I'm talking about different continents I can't really be scarce if you want to actually see one another suggestions on how to get someone living afar to want to pursue you if they feel distance is an obstacle and you are willing to move in a few years well you know like I said it depends one on whether you've actually met this person in real life or not if you haven't then I would be very wary of whether this is actually the person that you're talking to is the real person and you know all kinds of different things right like you need to you know you can actually be scarce online you can be scarce in a long-distance relationship you can also connect with the each other on a regular basis and you know it's it's not really that big of a deal and so I'm not sure you know you're like suggestions on how to get someone living afar to want to pursue you if they feel distance is an obstacle it's like well why are you trying to make somebody who's long-distance you know like what country are you from Maria what country are they from having met um you know what's going on in the relationship how long have you guys been seeing each other there's a lot of questions that I have here you know what kind of a connection do you have if he thinks that it's a really big obstacle you know why are you trying to get him to not think that it's an obstacle you know it it is a legitimate obstacle right like you guys you're talking about years from now right you're like in a few years I might be moving to wherever in the world that you are maybe you know like I would be very concerned about that as well if I was dating somebody and I didn't want to move and they were like well maybe in a few years I might move over there I'd be like okay well I'll just date other people in the meantime and if you figure that out that's great right which is exactly what you should be doing is you should be dating other people and figuring things out with other people and this should be something that's on the back burner because you have no idea whether it's gonna work out or not and you're talking about moving to go see somebody and you know like you guys don't live in the same country and I don't even know if you've even met each other before and so that's a there are a lot of big concerns that I have about your situate your situation Maria and not a whole lot of answers if you know since you didn't talk about those things in that so alright so Christina says I struggle with the period after the first date what type of actions to expect from a good man who is interested I communicate after I enjoyed myself and then they say the same but then they go kind of go that broke off there Christine I don't see any more of your question there but so what type of action should you expect from a good man who's interested the type of actions are that he continues to pursue you and that he continues to talk to you and that he tries to meet up with you again and that he wants to go on another date with you right so you know you should communicate with them if he tries to communicate with you you should communicate with him back but at the same time you shouldn't try to build relationships over the phone or over messenger or over the Internet you should be like hey I would love to meet up with you again and you know if he tries to keep talking to you just over messenger or whatever you should say ham I don't have a lot of time but we should you know I'd love to meet up with you again you know if you want to set up another date with me I'd you know I would though I would be absolutely ecstatic about that that would be wonderful and if he's interested he will do that and if he's not interested or he's only lukewarm interested he won't do that and so it really depends on what happened on that date and how he feels about you and what's going on with you so it's a beautiful day says the bad girl and the good girl is one hole girl you don't have to be one or the other you can be multifaceted in one yeah that's absolutely correct and that's one of the things like I hear a lot of women they're like you know just be yourself right and you know I'm you know this person is that way and this person is that way right like and they kind of niche people into like these small categories where they're like yeah you're this one type of person and you know if if she's insecure maybe she's an insecure woman well we all have an insecure side of us we all have a confident side of us we all have these different sides of us and so saying that anybody's just this one thing is just absolutely ridiculous you know and that's one of the challenges that a lot of people have who sit talk about like you know just being yourself and and you know there's kind of two different ways to just be yourself and talk more about that in another video because it's I think it's a really important topic there's one way to talk about just being yourself where you're not you know molding yourself into a pretzel to be with a guy and that's a very good way of looking at it and there's a bad way of saying just be yourself which is you know I'm just this one fixed entity and that's it and a guy should love me for you know me being a Butthead and if he doesn't screw him right and that's a really toxic way of thinking about the idea of just being yourself okay so Dorothy says I had a guy wanting to date me but he would only meet me at the park he kept saying I might be the one but he was he also was wanting in my house really bad wanting sex I wouldn't do it yeah well that sounds like a horrible scary manipulative guy that you don't want anything to do with Joe Mack says long-distance relationships please yes yes ma'am I will be doing I will be doing that one for you pretty soon so don't you worry your pretty little face I'll be I'll be all over them long-distance relationships teaching you all about it not too long from now just just listen up and watch out so Dorothy says he never even took me on a date he told me I have been alone too long finding out he was still married yeah bad situations stay away from the married ones Virginia says would you stay clear from a newly separated or divorced man yeah I mean you it's it's a challenge because it takes a long time especially if he's been married for several years or longer it takes a while for somebody to like really heal from the relationship and kind of cut off that emotional needs and ties that he had to that relationship and so I would be very weary of that situation you don't need to stay clear of it completely but you might want to kind of look for red flags of him still being attached to his ex anytime he might get have really emotionally charged conversations about that person or what's going on or what happened in in that situation that he left if he has those kinds of things that means he's still emotionally attached to his axe which is a huge red flag because there's a good chance that he might end up going back to his ex and so you just want to be really aware and just you know conscious of what's going on in that situation with him amber says my boyfriend always changes our plans even last-minute for one of his for one friend of his makes me feel like a pushover when I just go with the flow but what do I say without seeming controlling well it depends like what what is it that you that you have a problem with right like is it that he's changing the plans is it that he's not talking to you about changing his plans is it about not being one-on-one with something with him with something and you wanted to do just something with him and you thought it was a date night but now he's including his friends so it really depends on what the scenario is and what the the problem is for you and then figuring out how you're going to communicate that to him so that he knows what's going on with you and you know having a real clear conversation with him about how that makes you feel that's that's what you need to do there so I'm all says why do you think that people need just one safety relationship why can't we make multi relationship for ourselves so we can't get hurt I'm not sure what you're saying here are you saying that you think that people should be polyamorous you think they should date multiple people at a time and be in open relationships where everybody is open to seeing each other it's you know I don't know why you would call it a safety relationship some people just like dating one person some people just like being in a relationship with one person some people like being in a real a ship with multiple people and you need to figure out what works for you and then find somebody who's in alignment with your values that's what you need to do it's not it just depends on what you want and what they want and there's no right and wrong for that but there's things that work and things that don't work I'm a big fan of monogamous relationships I prefer one person to one person I think there's a lot of things that are healthy about that I think there's a lot of things that are good for society about that so it's really up to you what you believe in think Lisa Lisa Lott says I wrote a guy that I need a serious talk with him an answer promised the day before he writes back four minutes later while we both are at work that he will call in one hour does he care then that is a strange question and I'm not sure what you're trying to say is that are you are you within that one hour did you guys have the call did you have a conversation that's it's kind of a weird kind of a weird question that you're at asking there you know I don't want to discourage you from asking any questions because you know I don't think that there's necessarily a dumb question out there but I will say that's a little bit of a strange question so Jenna Murray says I wrote the goodbye email in the your program and he replied saying I am in his heart and said we will go for lunch after New Year's it will be after the 21 days with no contact I hope this works he's definitely been looking at all my facebook stories almost immediately after I post I'm starting to think he is missing manners good chance why we do the no-contact there Victoria says it's a real person we've met and fell in love how about scarcity yep cool yeah create scarcity that's what you should do go and get my forever woman program at the forever woman formula calm and use scarcity like I talked about in the program karen says I'm learning a lot from you I've been in a friends-with-benefits relationship for four and a half years and I understand where I am made mistakes but I also see now that it may not be everything I thought it was yeah Cece says thank you so much you are welcome nikki says pop I was married fifteen years and just recently found out he was having an affair online for five years while I was traveling the country in search of a cure for our terminal kids wow that's sounds horrible some men are not fixable they are just selfish no matter the age well you shouldn't be trying to fix any men ever right men can fix themselves but you're not gonna be fixing men so just don't just don't do that DJ says I agree online is difficult and lots of scammers hook up artist yep it's true Sharon says I've been seeing someone for six months and has recently ghosted me for three weeks now I reached out with a text a week ago and nothing I'm not going to overreact so I just decided to mirror yeah what you should be doing is getting my program the forever woman formula and going through that program and doing exactly what I talked about in that program that way you're in the what that program is designed to do is number one it's designed to help you get into the best situation you possibly can so it's it's kind of like a safety net right it teaches you how to be in the best situation so you don't end up getting your heart broken it's also sets you up for success so that men start chasing you and following you and investing in you and trying to commit to you and usually there's a huge difference between women who aren't using the program and women that are using the program in it you can usually tell which ones are which because of the way that they talk right and the ones that aren't using the program usually say things like there's this one dude and you know I'm just gonna do all these things with him and try to you know manipulate him and usually the women that have used the program are like yeah you know I've got a whole bunch of guys and they're all like which one should I be dating and you know which I got this one guy who wants to marry me but I'm not really sure about him you know should I go with him if I'm not really sure about you know it's a different conversation that women are having and I can usually tell very very quickly which women are using the forever woman program because they're women that have different problems they have better problems and so my suggestion Sharon is that you go and start using that program because it's it can totally change your entire life and definitely your relationships sue says thanks Matt that's how I feel about the websites - merry Christmas merry Christmas to you sue Mehta Christmas to you sue Tonya Ford says you said to tell them what's going on with you I am asking for more details as to information to be shared oh I'm talking about communicating like so are you saying to tell them where your needs are not being met I think what you're asking about is when you're when you're giving them space and communicating with them what's going on with you which basically what that means is that when I talk about giving space and creating scarcity what I'm talking about is creating a life right so you're creating a life that is has abundance and that you know you're passionate about and that you love and so you need to communicate with him what's going on in your life and how you're getting involved in these different things because if you just disappear all of a sudden he's gonna be like what's going on here right and absolutely you should be you shouldn't be communicating you know where your needs are not being met but communicating what things that you'd like you know that make you feel loved and that make you feel attracted to him and make you feel all these kinds of things because when you communicate it from that standpoint a guy's more likely to want to step up and fulfill those things then he is if you're like you're not meeting my needs and you're like nagging him and you know attacking him for things that he's not doing so clicks madre says do any of you do one-on-one coaching yeah I do one-on-one coaching Hellena does one on one coaching Valerie does one on one coaching my coaching is really expensive though and so my suggestion is that you go to the forever woman formula dot-com and get my program first because if you come to do coaching with me and you haven't gone through my program yet and this happens all the time is you know I'll talk to a woman she's and I'm like hey have you you know and she'll start asking me questions and I'm like have you gotten through my program yet you know and and if she hasn't some of the time I'll end up spending a bunch of time explaining things from the program through her because she hasn't gone through it yet and my coaching is really expensive so my suggestion is that you go and go through the program first before you get coaching with me because that way I'm not spending that time teaching you what's in the program so go get the forever woman first the forever woman formula calm and then if you want to get coaching from me you can go to my website at commitment connection calm and check out the coaching tab and you can get coaching with me there if you want to Joyce says I have dated a guy I really like a few times this year last month I canceled a date with him twice he got really upset and hurt and wouldn't ask me out again yeah it's not surprising to me at all I finally got him to go out on a date a few weeks ago we had a great time now he has kind of gotten quiet he will respond to my calls and texts but he is not initiating calls or texts what's going on well something else has become his priority and you are no longer his priority that's that is what ended up happening and so you know I don't know what ended up happening on the date or how he felt about it or how he feels about you all I know is that something else is going on that's pulling him away from having conversations with you and it's either because one he's not interested or two there's something that's more important that sucking up his time or it could also be three that he feels like you're playing games with him or something like that and so he decided that he doesn't really want to be a part of that because of that so it's probably one of three different things and it's hard for me to tell because there's not a lot of details about how he feels or how he reacts or what he said so Adrienne says my year-long boyfriend sucks at texting and replying and he admits it when we are away from each other he reaches out but when I respond to him he doesn't always text back from that how do I not overthink how you don't overthink is by refocusing your thoughts on something else so that you're not sitting around obsessing over what's going on with him that's what you do nikki says how can someone private message you well you can private message me but if you're gonna be asking me about your situation I'm not going to be answering it if you want me to coach you you can get a coaching call with me from my coaching tab on my website or if you want we have you can have one of my coaches help you out if you join our program if you join the forever woman formula.com there's a coaching forum that's a part of that if you decide that you want to be a part of our community then you can have conversations with our coach who is great coach or name's Melissa she'll help you out and she will she's great and she knows what she's doing and if you have questions about your situation and you want a coach to help you out and you just want it to be over messenger that's the best way to do it she doesn't do it over messenger but she does do it over a private coaching forum so if I were you I would go check that out so Ashton says is it leaning forward to send happy holidays whatsapp he broke up with me too much work yes don't do it don't do it I said I understand not mad at him but something the conversation no contact since a month yeah I mean sending a happy holidays on whatsapp it's like you know why are you doing that right you're doing it for a reason and my suggestion is that you forget the happy holidays and instead what you do is you follow the system if you are following my system about getting your ex back so if you are following the system my suggestion is that you continue to follow the system if you're not following the system you can either go and get the restart your relationship program or or not that's that's the suggestion that is the suggestion so yeah I mean you know I get a lot of women that come to me and you know they're in kind of all these difficult situations where you know they're not sure what to do with men and you know there's there's a you know we're in this age of the hook-up culture right and you want to attract a man who loves you and who sees you and who cherishes you into a committed lasting relationship you know but men keep pulling away disappearing or they just want hookups because they're in the hookup culture right now and you know there's lots of different challenges and problems you end up getting attached to a guy and you don't really know what he wants or he doesn't want what you want or any of those kinds of things and so if you're having a hard time with dating and men you know it's it's really not your fault you know don't beat yourself up about it we live in a culture that encourages superficial relationship and discourages anything meaningful and I believe that there's a better way for men and women to get into and stay in committed relationship that's that last right and and that's why I put together a proven path that will help you get into the relationship that you've always wanted to have and it's called the forever woman and you can get it at the forever woman formula.com I understand what it's like to feel like keeping someone in my life is almost impossible if you've heard anything about my story you you know my challenges that I've had and I know what it's like to try a whole bunch of different things and none of them seem like they're working I've been there I've done that I've worked with lots and lots of women who have been there and done that and I've helped lots of women switch from feeling like they're hopeless and they're stuck to attracting great men into committed relationships where they're absolutely loved and they're cherished and they feel like they're amazing important women to these men and many of them have ended up getting married as a result of it and so you know there's a there's kind of three three parts to this plan that that you need to make sure that you're putting yourself in one is believing in your own value two is positioning yourself in value and three is communicating your value and so if you're interested in doing those things make sure that you click the link above or below this or go to the forever woman formula.com and just watch the video on that page and then sign up for my free course the forever woman program and if you get the forever woman program and you use the principles that are in it you will attract a man who loves and cherishes you he'll pursue you for a committed lasting relationship you'll do less work you'll feel like you're doing less and you'll feel appreciated and valued a whole lot more by your men and if you don't you know if you continue to do this things that you've always done you'll continue to get the same results that you've always gotten you'll say stuck in your problems and challenges with men you'll feel like you're doing everything in a relationship only to be taking for granted have guys pull away and eventually disappear on you and you'll wonder if you're ever going to get into the relationship that you've always wanted to have and my and what I have to say is that you can you can get into a great relationship I believe that you can get into a great relationship you just need to make sure that you're putting yourself in a great position you believe in your value and that you're communicating your value and so if you want go check out the forever woman formula calm thank you so much for being here today you are the best part of our community we have the best women in the world as part of our community thank you so much for trusting in me to be a part of your journey and helping you create the love life that you've always wanted to have thank you so much I appreciate you being here and I will speak with you again soon so thank you so much

Channel: Matthew Coast

Views: 23,073

Rating: 4.8590078 out of 5

Keywords: Biggest Mistakes Women Make Who Get Taken For Granted By Men, 4 Biggest Mistakes Women Make Who Get Taken For Granted By Men, how to make him worry about losing you, what pushes love away, why do men dissapear, why men pull away, how to keep him interested

Id: yc9uge4QRsM

Length: 72min 7sec (4327 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 24 2019