3 October 2021 | Quick Fix: From Control to Secure

[Music] if you've ever been a little tired when you need to be awake if you found some hair growing in an awkward place if your pet chameleon has escaped without a trace maybe you could use a little quick fix if you can't remember where you left your keys and phone if you're at a party and you'd rather be at home if you suffer from a broken heart or broken bone maybe you could use a little quick fix everyone knows waiting is scary you deserve a quick fix even if it's only temporary [Music] if you think going to the gym is all it takes to make you strong and it should happen in the time it takes to sing a song then you should try the animal that doesn't take too long maybe you could use a little quick fix everybody wants a little quick fix don't you think you need a little quick fix [Music] oh [Music] do [Music] bye [Music] shoppers don't miss our in-store special on power ramen noodles they're samurai approved check out aisle 5 and stock up today [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] thanks for doing your part by wearing a mask and focusing on social distance while shopping today while it can be inconvenient we will all benefit from slowing the spread of covet 19. don't you think [Music] if you've ever been a little tired when you need to be awake if you found some hair growing in an awkward place if your pet chameleon has escaped without a trace maybe you could use a little quick fix if you can't remember where you left your keys and phone if you're at a party and you'd rather be at home if you suffer from a broken heart or broken bone maybe you could use a little quick fix everyone knows waiting is scary you deserve a quick fix even if it's only temporary [Music] if you think going to the gym is all it takes to make you strong and it should happen in the time it takes to sing a song then you should try the animal that doesn't take too long maybe you could use a little quick fix everybody wants a little quick fix don't you think you need a little quick fix [Music] so [Music] [Music] so [Music] thanks for doing your part by wearing a mask and focusing on social distance while shopping today while it can be inconvenient we will all benefit from slowing the spread of covet 19. don't you think [Music] thanks for shopping at quick fix where you'll feel great in a jiffy don't miss our fine selection of addictive sweetness brought to you by approval [Music] [Music] down [Music] oh [Music] [Music] [Music] so [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] island ecc would you rise with me stand up with me the first song we're gonna sing is based off of the verse john 3 16 for god so loved the world that he gave his one and only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life let's declare this song together come on come on thirsty come to the well that never runs drink of the water come and thirst no more come on you sinners come find his mercy come to the table he will satisfy take off his goodness find what you're looking for [Music] he gave us [Music] forever [Music] [Music] bring all your bring your addictions come laid them down at the food of the cross jesus is waiting there with open eyes [Music] believes is him will live forever [Music] forever [Music] god praise god from who more blessings flow praise him praise him for the wonders of his love one more time praise god praise god from who more blessings flow [Music] [Music] is [Music] is [Music] is [Music] [Music] bring your addictions come lay them down at the food of the cross jesus is waiting god so loved the world [Music] who stays to death they the never-known defeat who's never left fight without victory who is this king of glory i got so strong and mighty [Music] belongs to our god he's fighting for us he is fighting for [Applause] [Music] who conquers fear [Music] who turns the dark to fear [Music] who is this king of glory [Applause] our god [Music] gonna sing it out together [Music] [Music] is [Music] [Music] is [Music] my [Music] is [Music] here comes the king of glory [Music] jesus [Music] jesus [Music] belongs to he is fighting for [Music] [Music] is [Music] is [Music] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] as is praise you god the victorious god the one who is strong and mighty the king of kings and lord of lords we praise you lord jesus today we want to declare our trust in you and not only in our experience but in the in the truth of who you are we want to place our trust in you [Music] the living hope we praise you lord jesus and you say the work is finished the end is written we know how the story ends god [Music] praise you for the hope that comes forth that we can live in our life praising god how great the chasm that lay between us [Music] in desperation i turned to heaven [Music] the work is finished the end is written jesus christ you could imagine so great emergency [Music] [Music] holds me [Music] jesus christ [Music] set me free [Music] jesus christ [Music] your buried body begin to [Music] me [Music] your very body [Music] is [Music] is [Music] is every chain the salvation in your name jesus christ [Music] you have broken every [Music] jesus christ [Music] god you are our living hope sometimes we forget lord the victory that you have conquered for us that you have won for us that we were stuck in our sin and in our death and we were shackled but because of your because of your love because you sent your son to die for us because in his name jesus christ lord we have been saved when we didn't deserve it at all and so now we can live and proclaim these truths that we have been saved that we are your children for all of eternity not because of anything that we've done not because we deserve it but because of your great compassion and love for us and because of that lord we declare we praise you we sing hallelujah because we are powerless but you are all powerful we are without hope but you are all the hope that we need we are lost but you have found us and so god we are grateful and we pray this all in the name of your son jesus christ amen hey can we just give it up for the band thank you so much for leading us in that time of worship hey before you sit we're gonna go into our time of meet and greet but i want to give you a challenge actually get their names say hey what's your name and then say hi janice i'm kevin hi ray i'm kevin okay so make sure you ask them what their name is otherwise you're just shaking hands [Music] [Applause] [Music] awesome i see all the introverts have sat down already don't want to share my name well welcome to island ecc my name is kevin we are so grateful that you have decided to join us today for worship and if this is your first time in any sort of church in any sort of worship context wow this is amazing we are so grateful that you have joined us and if this is your first time specifically to island ecc we too are just as happy for you to join us today and if you're wondering how you can get involved in this church we actually have a something called a newcomers gathering and uh this is where we connect with you and we tell you a little bit more about the hope and the mission of this church um and so you can sign up for that by just emailing us or uh signing up via the what's happening page that's on the app we've been in this sermon series called quick fix which has been uh super fun but it's been a quick a series about finding our fulfillment in jesus christ um and discovering the different hidden idols in our lives and while it's been all fun and creative as you look around the posters the songs everything's been awesome and we do that because we want to reflect the creativity of our god god is creator god right but also we want to provide a way for you to remember and to rehearse and to reflect upon the truths that are shared here the truths about god and that's why we gave you pins for you to take home to remind you that you are called that you're empowered that you're approved and today we'll learn that we're secure now if that's been really helpful for you and maybe you missed the sermon or two uh don't worry we actually have the whole pin set that you can get and it's actually a great gift for you to give if you have a friend and you think this would be such a good thing to get to give to them maybe they can start thinking about the different idols in their lives you can get that uh at our at these pop-up stores pop-up shops that are on every single floor and not only these pin sets but you can get a specific um quick fix themed shirt which is really cool and all this is just for a donation um the other thing is that in the first floor quench area we were selling these books uh by tim keller called counterfeit gods and that book has been the inspiration for a lot of what we've talked about in this sermon series so if you want to dive deeper into the meaning of these idols and how we can and how we can fight against them we definitely think you should check this book out okay one more thing we have these amazing tote bags limited availability only a few but these are amazing bags not only are they going to be great bags for you but it's actually meant to be a canvas for you to put these pins on all these pins you've been collecting you're supposed to stick them onto these bags and but more than that as great as these bags are it's the the best thing about these bags are the stories behind them because this story is really a reflection of what we're here what we're about at island acc it demonstrates each of these bags demonstrates um collaboration and empowerment and generosity and kindness because a lot of people came together to make this happen for us so uh this past week we we sat down with a few of the people who helped make this bag possible so let's check it out [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] um [Music] little [Music] foreign [Music] so [Music] hey let's give it up come on that's amazing this is guys this is what the tote bag looks like i'm modeling it for you here you can see i put a little pin on it this is kind of what you can do you put all the pins on it it's really comfortable really sturdy so definitely check it out only a few available but this is really a demonstration of what our hope is and it's to change lives and to change communities right and so this is a terrific example of the collaboration of parties right you got four different groups of people collaborating hope of the city and then you got a caring social worker you have a generous business woman and then the creative communications design team that made this all happen and so this is an example of of what our desire is this is when a gospel and flourishing come together and work together for the benefit of the city and so as we uh and step into this next month it's going to be october and because of that this is our fifth year of hope october and we believe as a church that to respond to the goodness of god we are to imitate christ and to walk alongside people who are marginalized in society and forgotten about in society and so our hope is to provide over the course of the next few weeks different opportunities for you to be engaged and empowered engaged if you've never if you've never actively participated in serving the poor we want to give you a chance to do that so that's an opportunity and for those of you who to be empowered some of you have already been involved in serving the poor and we want to give you opportunities to step up even more so engagement and uh empowerment we hope that this is a launching pad for you to serve the con the community in continual ways and for you to see the transformation of the community what can happen if you're just faithful to god's call so really exciting stuff over hope october if you want to find out ways in which you can get involved all you have to do is go to our what's happening page and on the first link it says hope october you click that and it'll send you all sorts of different opportunities that you can get involved in okay sound good now we're going to head into our favorite time of the service there's a really tricky salesman named lou who is going to sell us something that is not really good okay let's check it out another quick fix product for you are you the only person who knows how to clean a countertop properly are you shocked by the amount of people who have gotten through life without needing your help have you ever been tempted to say it's my way or the highway control is made with a special formula for people just like you need to feel in charge a little control goes a long way with features like stress elimination vulnerability avoidance ignoring boundaries it's easy to see why more and more people are trusting control to make them feel better about themselves in an instant don't you think you need a little quick fix all right love that lou love that lou hey uh really good to be with you this morning welcome to our second to last uh sermon in the quick fix series my name is sherman uh great to see you here on the first floor hi on the second floor and tenth floor and also those of you watching online uh my honor to be able to share today about an idol that will look at control and how we can go from control to secure i hope you hope you've enjoyed this series and we put a lot of creativity into this all these products and everything real products but maybe labels that you thought are real but if you had a chance to look up closely you'll see almost real but uh you know a little creative twist to those but actually real products real food there and those canned goods that we will donate to feeding hong kong at the end of this so none of it will go to waste but very realistic except for one thing if this were a real shelf it would look like this for maybe one minute and then it would get picked over which is a good thing you want people to buy stuff and then someone would have to restock the shelves and bring all the cans forward and that was my job i worked a lot of retail jobs in a grocery store but in uh in retail and electronics and other stores and actually in retail uh when we would kind of make shelves look nice and everything they have a term for that called merchandising and merchandising is all that kind of you know in these stores that don't have uh sales people it's like the store and the space has to do the work uh of selling the product and so we call that merchandising so some obvious things like making the shelves and products look nice and neat and everything that's what people are more willing to buy than if it's all messy unless it's a massive sale and you ladies know when those bins of stuff you know whatever then you know it's just a mad rush it's a riot to get to those but uh generally you know nice and neat is good that's a merchandising uh tactic another thing is the items that they want you to buy um that are the most profitable for the store but are also best for you as a customer are at eye level right it sounds obvious but these are uh these are just subtle things that when you think about oh that's quite obvious but i don't know how how often we're conscious of it but the the high margin items the best products eye level and so you wouldn't see like chips all these kind of range like this but you see all chips on this arrange like you know in this section best stuff here on the top you know the stuff that's there you buy it it's okay but they're not going to make as much top and bottom right um maybe you know the store design the store layout like the new stuff at front all the new products and everything to bring you in oh wow this is the new fall collection this is the whatever you bring you into the store but the best deals are at the back of the store right and forcing the customer to go all the way to the back um and as you go there through the store they'll have this thing called speed bumps which is a term for like racks and and displays and stuff with all these products you know as you go through the store oh hey two for one this is awesome or hey you know there's this whatever accessories and stuff right all these speed bumps as you go through the store never find a straight uh unobstructed aisle in a retail store right all the stuff along the way and of course the cash the sale point of sale is always at the back right you know the most inconvenient place and we're not talking grocery stores that's kind of a little bit different but retail always at the back always making you go through you know the most uh unstraight line you know i feel like a lab rat sometimes going through like you know case in point ikea and causeway bay terrible to get through except life hack if you if you find the lift that's next to the parking lot you can take that right down to the lower ground floor right to the cache and everything it's a great time saver it's a great time saver but in grocery stores or actually a lot of stores also they'll get you at the end as well with these little uh cheap items that in retail and merchandising are known as impulse purchases right so after you've spent hundreds of dollars and stuff you think oh you know what's another 20 what's another 30 for a water bottle or for a scrunchie or for whatever right and so cheap to you which is a good thing but for the store usually high margin items as well that they make a lot on so lots of uh lots of very subtle control tactics going on in the world of retail and it's one of those things again when you when you kind of are aware of them it's not like uh it's you know you can think okay i'm just going to go i'm going to buy this wine item i'm going to march right up to the cat dresser i'm not going to like you know fall for all this cheap impulse stuff and everything but a lot of times control is like that controls kind of power works best when we don't know it's going on and that's very much like the the idol of control that we'll look at today it's a very devious kind of lie low idol right and a lot of times it's hard to detect in ourselves just because that's that's the that's the lure that's the the power that control has over us and when we can identify it we can remove a lot of its power we can remove this idol from our lives much more easily so let's begin by looking at actually healthy and holy forms of control because control in and of itself is not necessarily bad there's there's a ways we can keep control the way uh god intended it to be right so um just some diagnostic verses or some diagnostic uh thoughts for you if you're kind of like in control or exerting control how can you keep that on a healthy and holy side of things here's a verse from romans romans 8 the mind controlled by the spirit is life and peace so this is a an 80 1984 translation of the niv it's an older version but i like that it uses the word control it fits our sermon today the more current one in the niv is governed right but the mind controlled by the spirit is life and peace the mind governed or controlled by the flesh is hostile to god it does not submit to god's law nor can it do so right so if you're controlled by the spirit hopefully if you're exerting control in this way you feel life and peace and and if you're not then exerting control uh in a way that's hostile to god or in a fleshly way that's when i think there's a lot of anxiety a lot of worry a lot more stress but control exerted in god's plan leads to life and peace one diagnostic verse another one here do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit right rather in humility value others above yourselves not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others right so exerting control healthy and holy control looks like this someone doesn't do anything out of selfish ambition or vein can see just for themselves but does it in service uh in valuing other people valuing their good valuing the greater good above mind and it doesn't mean that i i i can't you know have my way in that but it's like looking first in through the lens of this verse another kind of helpful diagnostic i hope for us is um is this this is kind of the opposite this is uh if anyone then knows the good they ought to do and doesn't do it it is sin for them right and so the the healthy uh holy form of control is the reverse of this kind of being active right is knowing the good that you ought to do um and then and doing it and so what this speaks to is that some people that might think oh well i don't want to i don't want to kind of do sinful control so i'm just going to be passive here i'm not going to do anything well there are times when what the right thing to do is to jump in and take action be active to do that and the you know sometimes anti-controller being passive is not the right thing right so holy healthy control it's a good thing you know administration is one of the spiritual gifts right it's kind of overlooked not a lot of people pray or hope for the gift of administration but it is a gift right leadership when it's done well is holy healthy control leading people directing people guiding people right it's a good thing to be prepared in advance to anticipate you know unforeseen situations to be ready right all these are good things to be organized forward thinking and you can do it in a way that's kind of subtle and low key it doesn't have to be you know you can you can do it in a subtle and low-key way that's not a bad thing but a couple ways of thinking of how control can be healthy and holy so let's flip that let's flip that and look at the other thing when control can get out of control right to become an idol well here's what we're talking about here when control gets out of control to become an idol this is when we reject god's will when we reject god's will and we manipulate manipulate the outcome or try to manipulate the outcome so things will go according to my will our will and sometimes this means manipulating people right so ultimately this you know control is this kind of battleground to see who's whose will is going to end up on top in control god's will or my will so sometimes this can be an internal battle just between god and me right and sometimes it can involve people if they kind of happen to be in the blast radius or or collateral damage then yeah it involves people but not necessarily it can just be an internal thing between god and me so control is like that it's kind of devious a little bit hard to detect even for us as believers and we'll look at that through this message here one example that we'll we'll look at of where it's kind of an internal just between god and and a person internal is moses right this great patriarch of our faith uh also struggled with control and also let control become an idol right so in leading the israelites he's led the israelites out of egypt he's delivered them from from bondage from slavery from pharaoh and getting to the promised land was a journey of like 40 some years right through the desert and of course in the desert the most valuable thing more precious than gold is water it's literally life you can only go three days max without water right and he's leading a whole nation of people you know young elderly all different kinds of abilities through the desert and of course there's some times where they get stuck without water and so in these moments uh this is the first encounter is soon after uh not not too long after leaving egypt people are already starting to grumble right understandably they're dehydrated they're parched they could be near dying moses why did you lead us out of egypt it was so much better there we had food we had water it was comfortable what is this promised land why do we have to go through the desert for this and so moses is like what do i do god and god says okay you're gonna go up to this rock take your shepherd's staff and strike it and out of the rock water will come out and so moses does that strikes the rock water comes out everyone's happy right several years later there's another time where they're out of water and again the israelites are ready to to kill moses to string them up it's like again why did you lead us out of egypt it was so much better there let's go back there oh you know forget this promised land we're going to die of thirst out here and moses again prays to god and says what do i do how do i provide for these people they're so angry they're going to revolt and so god tells him again how he's going to provide water for the israelites this time he says take the staff and you and your brother aaron gather the assembly together speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out water right so then moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff water gushed out and the community and their livestock drank sounds pretty good right at least for the for the for the israelites that's good we have water for us and for our livestock for our families and everything that sounds good right but to moses this was not so good the lord said to moses and aaron because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the israelites you will not bring this community into the land i give them very very heavy consequences in this in this uh in this scenario where god said specifically to moses speak to the rock that's how this time that's that's my way of you providing water for the israelites right that's that's my plan you know you don't have to think about you know why or the logic of it that's just what god said and moses in that moment you know it's hard to know kind of what's going on his mind maybe fear like oh i'm just supposed to speak to the rock how's how's the water going to come out right he told me before that to strike the roxo he struck the rock right but as a battle of wills and moses own will he manipulated things he controlled things so that um things went according to his will very very devious you know you may not think of that as a story about control um i hope that fits with our definition maybe you think of it as a story about rebellion uh disobedience uh maybe you think of it as fear not trusting god it's all those things and that's the thing about control it's this pesky devious idol that's very happy just to kind of step in the background and let some other idols take the blame for it but it's a little bit like this right happy just to like fade into the bushes nothing to see here no control going on here there's all these other things rebellion disobedience whatever just don't look for me right and that's that's the power of control and that's why we're gonna hopefully talk about how we can identify forms of control um and and and call it out because then it loses a lot of power in our lives we'll go to a different story uh of control and this is where you see interactions between people um this is a fairly familiar story to us uh martha and mary and we we learn about this from a lot of different angles today we'll look at it through the lens of control and see maybe controlling characteristics for controlling tactics here in this story so in luke 10 we read that jesus and his disciples were on their way and they came to a village where a woman named martha opened their home to him opened her home to him she had a sister called mary who sat at the lord's feet listening to what he said but martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made she came to him and asked lord don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself tell her to help me and maybe you know this part after martha martha the lord answered you are worried and upset about many things but few things are needed or indeed only one mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken away from her you know this is a a story a scene in jesus ministry and life that that we learn about from a lot of different angles it's actually been imagined and painted many times i like this one this uh this uh picture that i found i think it really captures martha's in her body language that kind of like frustration and annoyance you can kind of see on her face here just this like i'm doing all this work and look at mary's just sitting here with all these other people and all this stuff needs to be done right we need to make we need to make the hummus we need to you know set out the olives we need to like slaughter a chicken or whatever all this stuff needs to be done and look at mary's just sitting there not helping one bit and here i am doing all the work huh right you can you can feel her indignation you can feel her annoyance at this and so as we look at some of the tactics of control control tactics we can maybe hear as we as we think back to um martha's words and the scene we can think back to some of those um we can we can see some aspects of control here now it's important to know that it says martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made right she's distracted from something right so i believe that in her heart she wanted to be there with everybody else right who wouldn't with jesus like telling a great story a parable or teaching something she wanted to be but she was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made and you hear a little bit of the the control tactics coming out in her words there's some emotional manipulation which is a tactic of people who control right guilt trip emotional arm right you hear this in in her words to jesus it says she came up to him right pretty bold in front of uh in front of that setting maybe he's already teaching or in front of disciples but she came up to him it doesn't say that she just took him off to the side and quietly had a word one-on-one she came up to him and said lord don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself right guilt trip right tell her to help me right so here we see another thing indirectness a lot of times people who control do not confront the issue that's at hand the relevant issue directly or the person but want to go around right so we hear that tell her to help me mary's right there she could have said hey i need a hand let's just get this done before sitting down but no she does take the indirect approach right and kind of when you reverse all this or when you when you hear the implication of this oh jesus if you're not going to tell her to help me then it means you don't care about all the work that i have to do right a lot of this going on here control tactics martha using on jesus uh another couple other things fear right fear is a control tactic right threats um emotional emotional ultimatum right oh if you don't do this you know it could be said explicitly overtly or maybe implicitly but if you don't do this i'm out of here right an ultimatum a very very big serious consequence for not doing what the controller would like other ways of fear here belittling people right oh don't even don't even apply for that school don't even try to do that you're not good enough for that right keeping someone else down as a way of controlling them out of insecurity maybe whatever it is that they want to do maybe it feels like it takes them away from me the controller so use fear to kind of keep them close by right in ridiculing them oh that idea is so stupid why would you even bother it's not going to work right ridicule that's the kind of emotional fear tactic um insulting people all these kind of things and then of course this one conditional affection or approval right very subtle you know the controller won't say this say these things or spell them out because then it's kind of like the illusion is burst but you'll know it maybe you felt it maybe it's easier to identify if you've been on the receiving end of it on the kind of victim of controller side of it if you've ever felt like uh you know i think i'm going to say no this time i've said i've given in all these other times i feel like this is a time where i just want to like have some boundaries you'll know from that person maybe it's so uncomfortable that you give in again or if you feel like you know you're kind of like okay i'm gonna draw some boundaries keep them here then you can feel that approval or affection from them being withheld or maybe you kind of do emotional manipulation maybe you kind of acquiesce and you do with that person you know tried to control you to do but you feel like the goal posts are always moving right it's never good enough right that's kind of this conditional affection or approval some other things here some other control tactics lying and maybe not an outright lie but misrepresenting or distorting the the situation distorting truth exaggerating and we hear this in in martha's words she says she doesn't now i haven't found a translation or at least in the niv it doesn't have the word all in there but you can almost hear lord don't you care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself right and of you translation doesn't have that word in there but the tone of it is like that right and you can see that jesus response to that is very very good he kind of like he just like asked some questions to clarify the situation or you're not asking a question he makes some statements he says martha martha you're worried and troubled upset about many things but actually only few things are needed right so he's not saying this but he's kind of calling out the exaggerator you're worried about many things but actually only a few things are needed and actually in this moment only one thing right just to sit with us sit with me like mary right and that will not be taken away from her you're not gonna put her down you're not gonna imply that she's lazy or something like that that will not be taken away from her the fact that she's sitting at the feet of jesus inaction is actually is a control tactic um not doing what you're supposed to do we kind of heard that in in moses example just now but it could be it could take the form of being stubborn uh being passive just not doing things that you are supposed to do this is a fantastic parenting website empoweringparents.com i go to this often because i need this and there's a great article in there motivating the unmotivated child now yes i need this as a parent but you can substitute in here unvoting the unmotivated adult okay so as i'm going to read this this applies to people of all ages when kids feel powerless they try to feel powerful by withholding a child or teenager who feels very powerless will stay in bed not go to school avoid homework sit on the couch and withhold overall involvement because it gives her a sense of being in control to the parent that behavior looks completely out of control but the child sees it as the only way to have control over what's going around what's going on around him you'll see it when you ask your child a question and he doesn't answer but you know he heard you what's that all about that's a child withholding an answer to feel powerful when he says i don't have to answer you if i don't want to you see it as a lack of motivation he sees it as a way to win control over you so so inaction can be a way that we exert control over situation and often times when when people do this it's because they feel like they have no other ways of controlling the situation except i'm not going to do this i'm not going to turn this in on time i'm not going to do my part that's my way of exerting control the bible can even be a control tactic a form of control right when it's abused when it's misused when verses are just taken out of context or maybe just literal for something that was 2 000 years ago and not interpreted and for and applied to to contemporary culture the the truth of today's culture the bible can be a baseball bat right one verse of that classic verse of that ephesians 5 22 i don't know if you know where i'm going with this yes yes a husband knows so the ephesians 5 22 says wives submit to your husbands as to the lord as to the lord that's like yeah it's like putting us really high but you know the the control tactic in this is that you will not hear someone often in that context so you not hear someone say or recognize that a few verses down from it there's a word for husbands as well husbands love your wives as christ loved the church and gave himself up for her right so that's when the bible can be used as one example but there's various examples sometimes looking at one translation for the way it uses one word right a little bit like i i did earlier with the romans verse a mind the mind is controlled by the spirit i also gave you the more contemporary uh up-to-date version of that but sometimes using one translation for one word and not looking at other translations and how they interpret greek or hebrew to a modern english idea lots of ways where the bible or scripture or spiritual ideas can be used to manipulate others perhaps even god as we'll see in a few moments let's look at a few roots of the controlling spirit right now this is again i think sometimes it's easier for those of us who may be uh who experience control who maybe have victims of control to kind of identify these things um if god may be prompting you if you've heard from before that you maybe have an issue with control your control freak or whatever um you know maybe it's harder to identify the idol of control but if we just really listen if we submit ourselves to god um i believe we can so we can begin by looking at a few of these areas fear is a root of control right fear of the unknown right now again it's not a bad thing to to make plans it's not a bad thing when things are chaotic to impose some control if we do that in a healthy and holy way it's not bad thing when when this just like you know um a blank whatever couple days to kind of make plans and all that that's okay but fear can become an idol or sorry uh control can become an idol when we let our fears get ahead of ourselves and we we we don't have faith in god's will we don't trust god's will because even though he has spoken it's still a little bit too vague you know moses the second time i'm going to tell you to speak to the rock and the rock will produce water and moses is probably thinking like fear all the israelites want to kill me right now for you know i brought them into the desert i have no there's no water speak what am i what am i going to say like abracadabra what are the words i'm supposed to say it's very easier in that fearful moment for him to manipulate the outcome with something that he'd done before something that god told him to do before take his staff and strike the rock and produce water but our fear can be a great uh a route of control insecurity big one here right insecure about what we have to do and needing recognition for that right martha jesus don't you care that i have all these preparations to make i'd love to sit down with mary and all the other disciples of course i'd love to hear your teaching but i have all this other stuff i need to do recognize and acknowledge all the stuff that i need to do and jesus jesus kind of does he says martha martha you're troubled and worried about many things right he knows that but then he also calls her out on this says but only few things are really needed right it doesn't have to be all the stuff that you say just a few things just a little bit of food some water we're good but our insecurity can make us make pop control up to be go from healthy holy to out of control our insecurity can also cause us to you know if we're insecure about relationships about someone else about their feelings for us we uh love someone we have friendship we extend our emotions that's a very vulnerable thing in our insecurity we're afraid that if we just really hold a relationship with open hands that there are those emotions won't be returned to us so instead we kind of turn our hands to claws and we have to to um control people to feel secure that their their emotions are our us are directed towards us and pride a big one perhaps the the biggest sin of all of them pride right thinking that we are somehow above god right and even for christians now for christians we are we can be guilty of this sin as well we wouldn't say it right but in in very very subtle ways control can make us think that our will is better than god's we know better than god somehow we'll see a few more examples of that but some roots of control here so like i said one of the one of the most devious things about control is it can kind of hide and masquerade and kind of camouflage itself even within within our best best spiritual intentions our prayed over ministry purposes and goals things that we want to do in the name of god for god's glory we can unknowingly um unwittingly allow control to pop up to top place very sobering verse here in matthew 7 about what we do for god whether we do it really in god's will not everyone who says to me lord lord we'll enter the kingdom of heaven not everyone who says to me lord lord will enter the kingdom of heaven but only the one who does the will of my father who is in heaven right there's a difference between using god's name lord lord and doing his will only the one who does the will of my father who is in heaven will please him many will say to me on that day lord lord did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles in other words you know lord didn't we didn't we do good things in your name right what you what you want us to do right but we can't just kind of take things that are even even spiritual things even sometimes when god calls us to do something strike a rock one time maybe another time he wants us to do something different right we can't just like slap god's name on a spiritual thing and assume that that's his will and jesus says then i will tell them plainly i never knew you very very sobering words i never knew you away from me you evil doers right very very sobering words right have you ever wanted to tell someone i know god told me to tell you like again it kind of takes away the severity of it by channeling lou but this is an important verse for anyone who's ever been tempted or wanted to use a phrase god told me to tell you right did he really we got to be very very very careful gotta be very careful and listen right because not everyone we do when we do things even in god's name we may not be doing them according to his will so remember the homer principle even when it comes to our you know as believers walking with god even in our best intention plans if we don't really listen for god's will we could be out of his will this happens to uh pastors mature christians missionaries great story from uh one of our missionaries who's on the field quinny quack is serving in mongolia and she has a great life experience a first-hand account of this idea of when even our ministry plans that we think are all good can be out of god's will and when we can take control with the best prayed over holy spiritual intentions but it's not god's will so courtney has been there for a few years and she works with orphans there and there's one particular guy that she's really walked alongside with loved and mentored and guided a guy named batsuke who's 20 years old but was born an orphan and as a 20 year old has low self-esteem because he's 20 year old he's illiterate or not reading at the level of a 20 year old and so low confidence low self-esteem from all the challenges and odds in life that he's faced against him but really a soft heart but all these circumstances have given him quite a quite a temper something making someone who's quite easily angered well cooney had started a few years ago i started a monday night bible study and it's been going well and one time batsuk went to the bible study on monday night gave it a try really enjoyed it and wanted to learn more about jesus but his temper got the better of him one night and got an argument with another student who was there and never went back to the bible study so queenie kept inviting him week by week every every monday hey come to our monday night bible study come to monday bible study but each time he refused and rejected her so i'll read uh this is from a recent newsletter she writes this i still tried my best to invite vatsuk to our bible study but he insisted on not joining i remember when i got his answer i was very disappointed and frustrated i started crying and praying to god and this bible verse came to mind for my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways declares the lord as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts from isaiah 55 with this verse i had so much peace right away i know all the times when i just focus on myself even in my prayers i use i i i i tried so hard i have done this i have done that what i just need to see what i just see is myself my work and my plan so i told god okay i will let go and let you be in control so this is on monday the next the next day tuesday morning quinny gets a call it's from batsuk he says sis i was in i'm in the police station now can you come and get me so it turns out batsuk was arrested because he'd been in a fight with another youth in a park the victim had a broken arm and this happened on monday night at the time when we were having bible study i wondered what if he had joined the bible study that night then this incident would never have happened sounds like a great thing because a great thing god's plan but god had a greater plan for batsuik praise the lord after the body checked the boy the victim did not have a big injury and his aunt was a very kind and understanding person having known that batsuke is an orphan she bought food and drink to him while he was in the police station when the police officer kept persuading her to press charges and bring the case to court she rejected it and even questioned the question the police officer do you really want to see a youth be thrown in jail the lady just asked back suk to pay to pay for the medical fees based on the receipts and what's more she even said that she could provide him a part-time job for batsu he felt really sorry for what he'd done and he said to me sis at the beginning i thought what if i joined the monday night bible study group then nothing none of this would have happened but now when i think deeper i really believe this is god's protection i know with my personality that this kind of fight would happen will happen one day but what if next time the boy dies what if next time his family is not as understanding as this lady then i would be for sure put in jail now i've learned a big lesson and i've promised myself i will not make the same mistake again i will control my anger because i know i may not have a second chance he said he would join the bible study again without me inviting him through this incident god really wants me to learn how to fully trust his plan he always has a better plan because he cares and loves batsuik more than i do his thoughts and his ways are way way way way higher than ours and quinny asks us my friends is there any situation where you feel like you run ahead of god is there anything any situation that you try to control recently good questions for us to think about how are some ways that we can remove the idol of control from our lives or take it down from that top spot where god's will should be well a couple things here uh call out control right remember that control is one of those things that kind of thrives most when it's undetectable right like homer kind of back in the bushes nothing to see here and we can remove a lot of the power of control unhealthy unholy control when we just call it out speak directly to it right as ephesians this verse here everything exposed by the light becomes visible and you see you just see one example of that and how jesus just speaks directly to the situation martha martha i know that you're troubled about many things but actually only few things are needed at this time actually only one right so speak directly to things and sometimes for controllers especially if they're distorting the situation oh i've got to do all these things i can't join you for this i can't do that because i've got to do all these things sometimes if you call it out really you got to do all these things well maybe could you shorten this list to just the really immediate urgent things and leave the other things for later you know sometimes you'll even see that kind of all the excuses maybe kind of um disappear sometimes sometimes not this is one that's a little bit easier when you're on the outside of it as a not a victim but as a bystander a little bit more easy to identify but with prayer if you are someone who struggles with control issues maybe when you look at a situation look at it directly specifically in detail maybe you'll be able to release some of the control that you hold over it going from control to secure right a lot of control kind of pops up or or buds up from insecurity right about ourselves about our worth about if anyone recognizes what we're doing and so one of the greatest antidotes to the idol of control right one of the greatest counters to the idol control is finding our security in someone who loves us unconditionally right perfectly this is uh this is this is what god said to jesus in mark one a voice came down from heaven you know dove the holy spirit descends a voice came from heaven that everyone can hear an audible voice saying you are my son whom i love with you i am well pleased really important to notice this reference here mark chapter 1 right not at the end of mark this is the beginning of jesus ministry this is not what he heard from god after three years of ministry after he died and was buried and resurrected and ascended to heaven and hearing these words this is what he hears from god before he has said a prayer before he's healed someone before he has rebuked the pharisees before any of this god says you are my son whom i love who i'm well pleased before you do any of that other stuff and we should remember that as well right control idol or or not just remember you are my daughter you are my son with whom i love with you i am well pleased you can't make god love you anymore by going to a ton of bible studies how many notes you take how long your prayers are how loud your prayers are you can't make god any more pleased with you and you can't make them any less pleased with you or love you less by anything you do when you go off track when you walk away for some time god's words you are my son my daughter you are my children whom i love with you i'm well pleased interesting thing when we read the bible i hope you can read and kind of like follow timelines follow people in the bible we're treated to a really nice scene again a replay kind of kind of a replay a similar situation as uh martha and mary the first time when she said oh don't you care that mary's not helping me but another time we see in the in john's gospel right this is closer to the passover closer to the the passion when jesus will be crucified another scene here six days before the passover jesus came to bethany where lazarus lived whom jesus had raised from the dead here a dinner was given in jesus honor martha served while lazarus among those reclining at the table with him then mary took out a pint of pure nard and expensive perfume she poured it on jesus feet and wiped his feet with her hair and the fragrance and the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume right so a story that maybe you well know the point of this story is it goes on to say judas uh was was you know indignant oh this this expensive perfume was worth two years wages we could have sold it and used all that money to to feed the poor right and jesus said oh i won't be with you for much longer what what mary did was a very precious thing in worshiping me anointing my feet with oil that's the point of the story often times but for us today the point of the story actually has to do with martha and her control going for from control to secured i don't know if you caught that it's just oops it's just one two words here very very brief martha served right similar situation yeah jesus and a bunch of people in her home she has to entertain everything and yet again mary's off doing something else you know not helping this time she's actually breaking oh my goodness it's the family you know jar of perfume it's worth two years wages but i believe for martha and spending time with jesus martha mary and lazarus were among jesus closest friends he loved them these three siblings he loved them very very much i think we see here a beautiful example of how martha went from controlling to secure she served right she's not calling out mary she's not saying oh look at all this work i have to do she's okay with the situation in what she's been gifted to do here it's gone from control to secure last thing and this is something especially if you maybe have have felt um that you have control issues very powerful prayer countering control here taking two two powerful uh prayers or words and adding something together and i believe that i can really counter the power of control the idol of control in our lives we pray the gethsemane prayer this is jesus words if you're willing take this cup from me right yet not my will but yours be done we take this part here right the most powerful prayer i believe in the bible for anyone the son of god even here his own human feelings he knows the excruciating death that he's going to face on the cross uh just in in a few hours and say if you're a willing father take this cup of suffering from me but also maybe this prayer yet not my will but yours be done and then we add that together with samuel's prayer the lord came and stood there calling us at other times samuel samuel right and samuel responds speak for your servant is listening right and i think that if you want to try to identify if you want to try to identify the idol of control in your life right nobody as a christian wants to be doing things in god's name but outside of his will but i think if we add these two prayers together bring them together the gethsemane prayer and samuel's prayer then we'll be able to remove control from his idol place into a healthy and holy way that it should be let's pray heavenly father my prayer in response is simply these two prayers of our lord jesus and samuel lord as we maybe think of a situation a relationship or some time where we've exerted control maybe in an unhealthy way or felt control experience control or we just pray not our will but yours be done and how do we know that but by listening speak lord your servants are listening speak to us father to move in your will and to take down the idol of control in our lives in jesus name we pray amen amen let's stand and respond in this song in christ alone and echoing our prayer to the lord [Music] praise the lord jesus may you take the control over our lives [Music] in christ alone my hope is found he is my light my strength my soul this cornerstone [Music] when fears are still when striking sees [Music] darkness [Music] [Music] again and as he stands in victory since [Music] hmm [Music] to [Music] no scheme [Music] is [Music] when darkness falls i find my peace in christ [Music] the king of kings [Music] lord [Music] to christ [Music] you till he returns or calls me home here in the power of christ here in the power of christians [Music] uh just before i pray i just want to let you know that uh this sunday we have our prayer volunteers who will be here at the front you can see you can identify them they got the jacket on and a red lanyard but they'd love to pray for you and just listen to what you want to share and just pray and intercede for you so just know that they're here at the front of the stage after the service let me pray for us and as we just before we uh as we pray with our heads bowed just invite you you don't have to do this but just invite you to hold your your hands um in a fist and as you do just maybe pray over or think about an issue of control in your life [Music] jesus when he when he spoke to martha he said martha martha there's very few times when jesus would repeat something so when he does means it's very very important and he mentions someone by name it shows great love and concern simon simon great feeling jerusalem jerusalem so hear jesus words and hear him repeating your name twice jonathan jonathan ivy ivy sherman sherman you're troubled by many things you have a lot you have control issues [Music] i just invite you to lay them down at the foot of the cross and so as you do just invite you to hold your hands open as i pray for us now heavenly father is our our prayer our desire to surrender control in our lives [Music] and live and breathe and move according to your will and lord even with our best intentions would you just by your holy spirit and our open ears lead us to identify when control can pop up to when unwantingly unknowingly our will can can supersede or go over yours or we surrender our our will to you we surrender our control to you with our open hands and pray that you would be glorified and your will would be done in our lives i pray this in jesus name and in his and in his example we pray amen all right uh good good to hear your voices in in worship we've got one more sunday pastor brett's going to conclude this complete in christ great topic we're going to wrap up our series next week hope you'll be back for that god bless you [Music] [Applause] [Music] hmm [Music] i feel like i've always wanted to be in on the court side reporter and now i get the chance to do it great job man i listened to the sermon twice and still every single time i took something new away um but i thought i would begin as a bible nerd really intrigued by how you even thought about moses and striking the rock walk take us behind the scenes how did you look at that episode and think oh that's a perfect example of control i've never heard it taught in that way but it was amazing i i think in just trying to um i think just with a lot of things we try to identify what an idol is maybe kind of describe something as i think it began with just thinking okay what what it really is the idol of control and just like okay rejecting god's will but there's a lot of other things that could kind of fit that description but manipulating things um to go according to our will and so you know in the study guide the care group study guide that we've done jonah is one kind of running away i think you know it kind of came together realizing that sometimes um inaction can be a form of control as i shared in that quote just down so you know that's just one where um you know just even this patriarch of the faith can sometimes uh um want things to go according to his will moses out of fear or insecurity so yeah yeah i was thinking about other examples and maybe you guys can kind of your your homework assignment but think of other characters i was thinking maybe samson tried to look for control in there maybe but it's just one of those devious idols i think that can hide behind other things and so that was one of the kind of fun things just to try to identify and spot it in those things i think one of the things that you repetitively did was and will help us is the thing with homer simpson sinking but behind that very much is a lot like what control can be now talk about um mary and martha you track them through a second episode and i was really intrigued by that one inclusion of martha serving so i mean we can't speak for the bible but in your conjecture like do you think she got it or do you think she missed it or what i i think i think it just in just in in that similar you know i think what led me to that is like oh there was another time where they're in you know martha and mary's home and we see just a lot of similarities in this situation uh a dinner a gathering you know martha serving mary again like you know kind of like doing something not certain not helping but you know just you know again it's conjecture we don't know exactly what martha was thinking but just the fact it just said martha served i think all the circumstances would could have led her to also say again hey you know i'm doing all this here you know help me mary help me someone and especially when when mary's taken this very expensive perfume something in the family and just doing that you know she had every reason to sort of like speak in that term but you know just maybe she served and just recognized the the holiness of that moment the sanctity of that moment um and i think a lot of that came out of her security in christ it is interesting that oh wow we're out of time i was going to ask you about control and hey guys it was so fun we're going to shoot it up now to pastor tim who will join you for a quick summary little tired when you need to be awake if you found some hair growing in an awkward place if your pet chameleon has escaped without a trace maybe you could use a little quick fix if you can't remember where you left your keys and phone if you're at a party and you'd rather be at home if you suffer from a broken heart or broken bone maybe you could use a little quick fix everyone knows waiting is scary you deserve a quick fix even if it's only temporary [Music] if you think going to the gym is all it takes to make you strong and it should happen in the time it takes to sing a song then you should try the animal that doesn't take too long maybe you could use a little quick fix everybody wants a little quick fix don't you think you need a little quick fix hey everyone welcome to quick summary hey hey guys i'm kat good to see you all again kat and i are gathering for a little food and some conversation once again thank you for joining us online i was following with you guys all service it's honestly it's a blessing to be able to experience it together and with such a great series uh we say great but it's also highly convicting that's a conflicting thing i'm like i'm really enjoying these times that we get to chat but i'm like man that was a really convicting sermon and i'm gonna have to reveal some things yeah uh in our sharing later today yeah church people are really weird we're like that was great but i'm also crying yeah exactly god changed my life okay well let's uh maybe you're sitting on your couch or you're catching this uh in transportation somewhere but hopefully you have some food too we're on your way all right we're with our little quick summary food what do we got kat we have some um chong fun uh which looks like there's meat inside so tasty chocolate maybe that's good and do you know what this is uh it's just a little tsum i like yeah it's like sumai basically okay but not yellow not yellow different wrap different wrapper okay still a favorite that's awesome yeah that's awesome well hey we'll jump right into it here i one of the things i thought um pastor sherman did a great job in the beginning setting up when he took me into he used to work retail yeah and the way they would position items and we all know it's true totally especially if you've ever been to ikea and causeway bay yeah you know that's true um but he used the word merchandising yeah which was was so great because i was like okay we totally merchandised our lives we try to control that i i feel like i can relate to that a lot okay or you can have a friend who can relate to that either way matt um but yeah i really related to that because i spent a lot of uh quite a portion of my time my job used to require me to do a lot of social media so i do this a lot um in my own personal life and when he was talking about merchandising and putting you know the best products to the front you know for everyone to see it it convicted me because i think in a lot of ways um i personally use social media to do that you know to put the best parts of my life for you to see for friends to see um but then when i you know really thought back into the reason why i do that so maybe it's some part of it in me is wanting to control yeah the image yeah that i have out there yeah you know the highlight reel yep totally right i i was totally i don't know if if you online were dealing with this inner conflict or confusion as you were listening but i have that because we have i was thinking about this in marriage but i think it really equates to social media like i have this image of what i want right and what i'm striving for and it's not bad yeah it's like this is what i feel like a relationship should be like or what my family life or my career or how this project should go and you're torn because it's not an evil thing no and what you're trying to craft is good yep so i don't know how we deal with that tension that conflict of like yeah like you know i think to your point like what pastor sherman said earlier um even about you know not all control is bad you know like some like desiring to have you know a really great marriage and a really great raising your kids in a really godly way those are all good things and i think it's like where's that line you know when you sort of cross that line where you're taking the control over yeah like kind of what moses was doing right yeah was striking the rock twice when he was like no god god said speak to her yeah so i guess it's a really good reflection um to think about how am i doing that with my family and you know the way i present yeah totally and i i think one line is when it comes at the expense of people so we were here a few weeks ago when we talked about power and power and control often go hand in hand yes in some ways so i think when it comes to the expense of people yeah you've you've crossed over a boundary um i was thinking about this pin that says you know we're talking about control to secure i think for me the word that really hits home is controlled to sovereign like god is in control yeah because i was thinking sometimes we have this image of what we want yeah um and life just looks different yeah and yet somehow god is in control of that his son died on our behalf according to his plan but through a lot of people messing stuff up and betraying and overpowering and yet he was in control in that mess and so i think part of my check is just to say okay just because it doesn't go best doesn't mean it's part of god's plan exactly and that's a hard check because god wants what's best cat he wants what's best and we just have to submit sometimes and i think that's that's hard in terms of you know the pin this week says secure as you mentioned yeah you know one of the um ways that control can pop up is in fear and insecurity and totally and i think maybe sometimes like my insecurity is like oh am i doing a good job as a mom i hope i am so let me show the world that this is all the things that i'm doing yeah but true security comes from being called a child of god you know and finding my identity not just as a mom but as you know a daughter of the king yeah and i think when i find the security in that yeah you know there's there's no need to strive and to prove and to show totally i remember i'm trying to think in all these say you have a project at work home with the kids a relationship i think finding that cue or that helpful question is really key i think with kids one of the questions i heard long ago is you know if there's there's a fight or disagreement or you're trying to control you're like are you fighting for their first name or their last name like you're fighting for who titus will be someday or is because he represents farmer and my family and a pastor's kid's supposed to behave um so in my family context like that's a helpful cue to know how am i controlling right is it for his good or my image is good so i don't know if that might be a good uh cue for you to say okay if you're struggling at the office or whatever what's that healthy question to say what am i really manipulating controlling for what's at the heart is it fear anxiety or or what yeah no that's really good i think that's a question that i'm going to be pondering too is it for them or is it you know yeah for me and i think that's a good sort of parameter um yeah to find out yeah what are the areas that you have relinquished control from god to yourself you know and um and yeah to check in on that yeah and always the hardest thing but the best thing is to ask those around you so you know i don't know at your work if you do like a 360 review but even when i just create an environment where you can actually actually ask people at your level under your level above you if you give them the questions and create a safe space then you can really find out absolutely so crafting those in a good way might be helpful but your spouse knows already no one else is wondering about this question except for you yeah i think that's the key thing that knowledge and awareness is out there yeah it's just maybe not in you yet you might have some blinders that we need to take off but like you said like asking the people close to us who love us who know us and you know that's why we live in a community right yeah yeah yeah i'm following you guys online quan thank you so much by the way for for moderating and help hosting um we our hope is for everyone kind of in a sense of this community is that you take these ideas you take the quick fix study guide and then you go break it down with people yeah because kind of like us we're saying like i don't know here's my attention is i feel like i'm doing this for good reasons right but the best thing about opening god's word is it shows you not all of our intentions and motives are pure and so it helps you to ask good questions give space for god to chime in absolutely and so um that's our encouragement i know we wish we all had one of these where we could just spray and control cat i'm sure it's not actually a cleansing um i know we all want this in our life and we all use it in different ways so god help us become aware of this that should be our prayer this week um but we're gonna keep journeying with you and we love you and we're gonna see you back next week as we wrap up the quick fix series and we talk about being complete in christ we're going to figure it all out by next week by next week we're going to be good yeah that's good all right love you all online have a great week keep pursuing christ we'll see 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Id: ChMz5s0ut24

Length: 113min 15sec (6795 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 02 2021