2-Hour Horror Dating Stories (Reddit Compilation)

waiters and waitresses have read it what is the most awkward couple date you have ever witnessed at work a girl hit on me in front of her bf when i was serving the bf walked off after staring her off and the girl awkwardly sat there alone for a while i asked a girlfriend to take over her table because it was too awkward i work at a dinner theater and we usually do proposals where we set up a random draw where the winner comes up on the stage to win their prize and are then surprised by their partner who proposes it's usually sweet and makes everybody in the room all fuzzy and warm this one guy wanted to take it further and requested to perform a song he brought his own music and everything we are pretty easy going at this job so we agree to let him do it we do the fake draw the woman comes up on stage in front of a room of 400 people and the music starts to play apparently this guy was a little nervous and he compensated by having a few drinks so what follows is a slurred performance of a song written by this guy that seemed to focus on how he was sorry for cheating on this woman with her sister and at the end of it he gets down on one knee and proposes usually this gets a round of applause encouraging the person to say yes but not after that train wreck of a performance the poor woman was just holding her face the entire time and starts shaking her head and says no what's wrong with you she storms off and leaves him and our stage manager on stage to a bunch of murmuring from the audience the only thing our stage manager can think of to say on mike is well that's that the guy ended up staying for the rest of the show and had many more drinks that was years ago and it still remains one of the cringiest things i've ever seen first date i would estimate college age they're eating and the girl says i'm having a really nice time but my friend just texted me and asked me if i wanted to hang out and i said yes so i actually have to go ouch couple came into the restaurant dressed very goth i wasn't their server but i was running the cash register just a few feet away they proclaimed to everyone that they were energy vampires but not to fear them because they won't hurt us they said they didn't need our food for sustenance but enjoyed the tasted after ordering the meal they then politely asked the waitress if she would stick around for a second so they could feed off of aurora so they could have enough energy for the night the waitress said okay and gave me a side glance over her shoulder that i knew meant i better get a good tip for this the couple clasped each other's hands closed their eyes and made sucking sounds for a solid minute before leaning back in the seats and saying as if they had just had a turkey dinner the waitress was indeed tipped well for her delicious energy late to the party but i will share my story had a couple come in one night and everything seemed to be going fine we just hired a new server who was training and i asked her if she had any questions she was still nervous about greeting tables so i told her she could shadow me and watch what i do we go over to the couple's table and all i hear from the new server is you freaking be i knew you were cheating on emmy turns out the guy was her bf on a date with his side chick and he didn't know she just got her job there she didn't get fired for what she said i hope she adopted that as her greeting for every table when i was bartending this guy came into the bar on a weeknight average looking guy late twenties he sat down and asked for a drink and told me he was nervous because it was his first date in three years and they had met on tinder he arrived 20 minutes before her expected arrival to get rid of some of his nerves two hours passed and he waited for her with no text or call explaining she would be late this woman walks in walks up to the guy and i'm thinking wow she really came dot she looks at him and says are you joe the guy replies yes and gets up to properly greet her looking incredibly excited she says no thanks and just leaves what a foul creature joe not his real name and i proceeded to get way too drunk for a tuesday poor average joe way too drunk for a tuesday if god didn't want us to get blitzed on a tuesday he wouldn't have given us tequila to wash down our tacos i worked at a fondue place 1.5 2 hour meal for two people four courses the works couple came in and he had pre-arranged with us to present an engagement ring with a chocolate course with melted chocolate on the plate spelling will you marry me also roses and other embellishments on the plate apparently the entire meal she was explaining to him how bad he was at being in a relationship too needy too emotional somehow also didn't spend enough time with her and wasn't connecting with her it was an hour-long breakup speech we come around the corner with candles lit in the chocolate fondue and the engagement ring on the plate the table next to them did everything they could to wave us off i was holding a camera to capture the magical moment which never came he tried to get his prepared remarks out but it was so bad we eventually left the desert at the table and tried to act like nothing had happened she left before the check came husband and wife fight wife cried husband got up and threw a pizza slice at her face i cry about a lot of things but if my bf threw a pizza in my face i'd be freaking livid dates seemed going well but the guy was nervous and fidgety he was rocking back on his chair a little as he would talk and eventually flew too close to the sun toppled his chair backwards and knocked himself out cold and peed his pants he had to be taken out of the dining room on a stretcher over the span of 20 minutes while his tinder date did the honourable thing and immediately went to the bar and ordered shots we gave them to her on the house toppled his chair backwards and knocked himself out cold oh crap and peed his pants oh crap well told friend i guess you could call this a couple date i was working at a wine bar when a married couple sat down on a pretty slow night i went over the specials and they ordered once appetizers came out the man thought it would be a good idea to serve his wife divorce papers i did my best to avoid that side of the bar i did bring out tissues for the wife who was breaking down i ended up boxing up the dinner the guy paid but i do not envy that ride home this happened to someone i know it was a complete surprise to her he had never once mentioned divorce things seemed to be going okay between them and then one night he took her out to dinner and told her he had already started the paperwork they had been married something like 15 years too served a deaf couple having a fight they went from both of them signing furiously to her crying and signaling to me for a stack of napkins for i assumed her tears she whips out a pen and starts writing paragraph after paragraph angrily it was awkward because i kept having to come back to the table since they ordered multiple courses and he was just eating and signing while she was hunched over the table writing away while crying when they finally left they tipped me pretty well though so i guess it wasn't too bad i remember a deaf guy who used to have a bit of a chip on his shoulder he'd kind of seek out the staff and make a big deal out of not being understood backfired when my friend served him and signed really freaking well according to her he could barely sign at all and he just stood there awkwardly with the rug pulled out from under him idk if this counts but when i was a waitress at olive garden one of my tables was going over their divorce paperwork but when i greeted the table i asked how everyone was and the woman said terrible we are getting a divorce like wtf do i say to that one of my first jobs in new york was managing a lounge cocktail bar in a high-end hotel at around three or four o'clock a guy that looked pretty cheesy slicked back hair bad suit etc came up to me and demanded that he get that window table tonight for his date he had a reservation for 8 p.m i explained to him that i can't guarantee at etc etc and he slipped me 400 with the how about now look in which i eventually caved in and told him that i'd take care of it he then pulled another stack of hundreds and started counting them in front of me while asking if i could go a little extra by coming over to the table when he was there with the date and pretend that i knew him from a movie at this point if i've gone this far why not sure enough he rolled around later in the evening with a blonde bimbo and after they'd had a glass of champagne i approached the tables around them checked on how they were doing before going over to him and did the whole how are you enjoying your evening and before walking off i did an oscar-worthy double take with the bar are you by any chance you must be at which point he had this douchey smile lapping up the recognition he was getting from this young dude he'd just paid off most importantly for him though it worked she was loving it and they left shortly after and he slipped me another 600 on the way out was totally expecting him to be a douche and leave a crappy no tip on the bill guy might have acted like a douche but at least he had the cash to support the act was a cocktail waitress at a bar in a high-end restaurant a couple years ago this couple comes in right around peak hours guy looks annoyed girl looks really excited the whole time the girl is trying to talk to this guy and he's completely ignoring her he gets a call and talks on the phone for a good 10 minutes hangs up and starts talking to anyone around him but her he's getting more and more drunk and starts hitting on the female bartender and eventually the cocktail waitresses myself included telling us he could get us all much better jobs in atlanta the girl he's on a date with has started crying at this point and once he actually notices he yells at the bartender because it was obviously restaurants fault for her being upset she yells at him to stop yelling at the bartender because he's been such an awful date and he goes off tells her he didn't even want to eat here she should have picked a better place and he isn't paying for her food and drinks he then tells her that she didn't look fat in her picture and he wouldn't have asked her out if he'd known she was that big probably met online kind of thing she retreats to the bathroom and the guy continues to make a scene another girl at the bar and i go to check on her while the bartenders and manager try to deal with him the girl is super upset and i tell her there's a back door she can leave through and i can get her tab from the bartender i go back out and the guy had already stormed out and refused to pay leaving his date with a nearly 200 check she didn't have the money to pay so a couple of the bar regulars covered it made the whole night super awkward and stressful definitely one of the more memorable experiences of that place bar regulars being bros in law school i always worked the sunday morning shift at the restaurant in town and it was always sue dead but i'd bring homework so it was mostly okay every other week this couple would come in and order g and t's and nachos and sit for hours talking about how attracted they would to each other their sex life and would joke about sneaking around and whatnot i never thought much of it until one day i walked into the dining room from the kitchen and saw the lady had already been seated in a booth facing me her dude's bald head was across from her facing away from me i approached the table about to ask the love birds if they wanted their usual when the dude turned around and it was a different dude the lady looked at me sheepishly as he mentioned to me it was his wife's birthday and they had never been at my restaurant before the mayo like how do you even react in such a situation really little guy maybe five foot four 120 pounds comes in with a gigantic woman probably six feet tall and easily 300 pounds both tatted the freak up with piercings to match the woman orders her dish and before i get the guy's order he says in a sexy voice i think you want more than that she smirks at him says you know i do and orders three more entrees this was clearly a thing for them they seemed incredibly happy together and became regulars at my restaurant i feel like i played a not insignificant role in this bizarre couple's eating fetish for like three years [Music] there was a couple at my work having drinks girl went to the toilet came back and admitted that she'd been sleeping with the guy's brother apparently glasses were thrown across the room and they both got kicked out lemme do some lines before i lay this on him i had a mid-40s man with a young and attractive mid-twenties woman sitting at the bar they were engaging in small talk and ordering drinks nothing out of the ordinary after possibly 45 minutes a lady storms into the bar and immediately goes up to them she grabs the man by the shoulder and says you your sea and walks out the man turned to his perceived date and says yeah she does that and then left the room leaving his date to sit there staring blankly into oblivion until she left odd kinky couples foreplay sucks for the random chick though just a pawn in their naughty game [Music] not exactly a date but i served a couple one time who had met up to discuss the terms of their divorce at the fancy-ish restaurant i worked at at the time they came before the dinner rush so they were pretty much my only table and every time i checked on them the wife was extremely angry tearful and they were bickering about holiday schedules for their daughter time shares etc it wasn't the end of the world but it was extremely awkward to button to change out their forks or refill drinks while they were so emotionally charged seems like they were handling the situation much better than a lot of couples though a girl brought two tinder dates and played them off each other game show style they seemed to be unaware this was what would happen splitting the bill was hilarious i was really hoping you going to end it with the guys left her there and went over to the bar together a bartender waiter a few years back and i was delivering some food to her table to find out that it was my ex and her new boyfriend sitting at the table we had only stopped seeing each other a month earlier so it was incredibly awkward for everyone i'd say that she did it on purpose [Music] i was at one of these fancy speakeasy type bars they've started opening up installing a new invoice printer for their point of sale system waiting for the printer firmware and driver to install can take 30 or 40 minutes on slower computers so i'm people watching as i'm standing there watching bars fill up i notice a gorgeous blonde in her late 20s is sitting with a very well manicured looking guy in his mid 40s he's dressed like he just left a high dollar law firm and she looks like she's going to a fancy professional cocktail party after their date he is polite talkative and super into her but you can tell that she isn't reciprocating the feelings to be honest by the look on her face she's anywhere but in that bar at the moment the guy goes to the bathroom and she quickly picks up her phone and frantically calls someone and begs for pick up asap the gist of the call with the guy was her mother's co-worker and her mother had set the date up and our girl really wasn't feeling it about 15 minutes later a guy around her age comes in throws some cash on the table and excuses them she cites some vague emergency and is escorted out the elder guy continues drinking 140 tab note that i'm standing at their main cash register and starts flirting with the waitress fails to get her number pays an exact change without tipping and leaves dang everybody had a bad night this trashy couple i served with disgusting people to begin with and to top it off the woman was trying to be sneaky and jerk him off under the table unfortunately i saw this happening and just pretended like nothing was happening because i didn't want to deal with it when i was waitressing in college i witnessed the single most embarrassing thing to happen to a person to date right in the middle of their dinner and in the middle of our friday night dinner rush this poor guy stands up taps his wine glass to get everyone's attention and then proceeds to tell everyone what a fantastic person his gf is how much he loves her and how lucky he is to have her in his life the whole time this is happening she is just sitting there watching him with the most boring look on her face it was so weird kind of like yeah tell me something i don't know then poor guy pulls out a ring gets on one knee and asks her to marry him she gives him the most disgusted look imaginable and says this is the ring you expect me to say yes to are you [ __ ] could you be any cheaper then she gets up and walks out leaving the poor guy just kneeling there i didn't charge him for the meal bro dodge a bullet there working at a chili's on valentine's day the girl gave me her number with her boyfriend in the bathroom i came back and had to deal with her being sweet to him and nice the rest of the dinner i did not call or text her just was weird every time she'd look me in the eyes following oh heck that just reminded me of a friend and a girl he was going out with she was lying flirting with this other guy at bar he got up and walked over to the guy brought him back over to her introduced them and walked out no anger no drama just walked out it was freaking hilarious to see it of course she chased after him apologizing he dropped her that evening dear adit what is your worst blind date experience kind of a blind date fail i had just come back home from college and was having a night drinking at the local watering hole when i noticed the place had a new bartender new attractive bartender short hair nice tattoos that were clearly leading to interesting places and an electric six shirt frick yes so i start making a bit of conversation and much to my surprise we seem to really hit it off and not just bartender is everyone's best friend until they leave hitting it off but really cool conversation she starts hinting at if i'm seeing anyone and i say no and she immediately reaches into her pocket and starts writing something down on top is the number at the apartment and these are directions we're having a party on wednesday night and you should come true enough a phone number and directions what would you think wednesday comes and i'm dressed up and ready to impress i head over to her place knock on the door and there she is looking amazing she smiles and hugs me grabs me by the hand and drags me through the party until she gets to this big dude jonas this is my roommate jeff jeff this is jonas i do the whole pleasantry thing but when i turn around she's gone i mean poof gone like batman not knowing anyone else i just keep on talking to jeff seems like a good guy suddenly he stops me mid-sentence and says you are not gay are you no you should really tell liz that she had apparently set up the entire part as an excuse to hook me up with a roommate i had been on a blind date with a dude and didn't even know poor jeff i wonder how many times he has been put through that i got set up with the daughter of one of my parents friends i wasn't really looking forward to it but i was on break from college and she apparently went to school not far from me so it wasn't like a lost course summer romance type thing they showed me pictures and said nice things about her i picked her up from her parents place we were both home for the summer and was a little surprised by how pretty she was the pictures had been from when she was in high school and didn't do her justice the date was dinner and a movie dina went really well we had a lot in common she was very grounded and down to earth cared about the environment if i have a type she was it so as we're walking to the movie theater i slipped my arm around her waist she pushed me away and got all serious i'm really sorry because you seem like a nice guy but i'm a lesbian i just went out with you to make my parents happy sitting through the chronicles of narnia with her was the most awkward two hours of my life i once went on a date with a girl and this is how the conversation went her so what's your favorite book me tough but when i was little i love jurassic park her yuck jurassic park me the book or the movie everybody loves jurassic park her i don't believe in dinosaurs me fossils her i don't want to get into it but i think fossils are bulls i ended the conversation there and held onto the night until later on she told me i don't believe in outer space and my head fricking exploded i wasn't feeling great but decided to meet anyway we met at a belgian beer bar she was gorgeous fun and totally into me i felt a gas pain so i'll lean forward slightly to quietly relieve the pressure i completely and explosively shat myself the odor was immediate i excused myself to the bathroom but the damage was too great i walked out of the bathroom muddy panted out of the bar and boarded the train for home the date was nothing compared to the horror of the following three weeks recovering from e coli oh my god somebody put crap in my pants i was set up by a friend when i was 16 he took me to the movies at the mall and awkwardly tried to make it then we sat in the food court and he asked my honest opinion of him which i mumbled something typical like you seem nice without invitation he then delved into what he thought of me which was attractive but could be really hot if i lost 5-10 pounds then he left me for a bit which was weird and returned with a lovely gift a creepy puppet some people's learning curves are steeper than others i've only been on one blind date a few years ago it was with the investment banker son of one of my mother's friends one of her attempts at finding me a respectable boy from a good family so that night he calls to ask if i could pick him up instead since his car broke down i thought no problem and asked where he lived the guy was staying at her buddy's place an hour from my house ugh but still no problem i thought so i get a dress in my cutest little black dress and heels to channel the grace of audrey hepburn and gosh darn it i think i did well i picked the guy up and he's not all bad a little on the short side but he has a cute face and seems fit so we get to the restaurant and order he gets a few drinks into him and we have a conversation about jobs stuff blah blah but then it arrived at who we admired his answer patrick bateman from american psycho just you know without the killing and stuff he said he admired the character and aspired to live that kind of life without the killing of course ding ding ding the alarm bells were going off in my head so trying to change the subjects i mentioned the frat that he was in we both went to the same university and that i knew some of the guys he then proceeds to tell me that yeah all his friends were just vehicles for him to get ahead in life and that he didn't really like any of them oh look then comes the check he forgot his wallet so i paid just awesome by now i was just looking for this night to be done with but no things had to get more fun on the way back to the garage we pass by an alley and he leans in and whispers into my ear and says you're freaking hot and i want to freak you behind that pile of garbage and he licks my ear wrr are blashold for car do not want i tell him the night is over gave him some money and said that he could take the public transportation home i then called my friends and went out to a bar to drink the experience away needless to say i was jumpy for a few days expecting an axe to come out from a corner at any moment read that like a horror story you mentioned the alley i screamed don't go in there as i read the original post a thought occurred to me what if she was completely underwhelmed with you and decided screw it i'll eat with my hands tonight just to see what she could get away with i'm sure that's not the case but i couldn't shake the thought man that's an awesome idea i am in a long-term relationship but i wanna start blind dating now just for the social experiment i should really be working but i cannot resist typing up this story three four months ago i was talking to a girl on a cupid things were going pretty well and we decided to get together i was on a budget because i was saving to move out of the country so i suggested as local thai place which had zero dollars and 25 cents sent beers with an entree figuring the food was pretty decent and the cheap beer wouldn't hurt i offered to pick her up but she declined which is completely respectable the night of the date i'm running about five minutes late and feeling a bit rushed when i get a call from her even though i gave her an exact address in an easy to find place in town she's having trouble getting there she ends up calling me back six seven times in the next 45 minutes as she tries to find her way there no advice i could give was helping this girl by this point i've already been there 30 plus minutes and i'm about three stroke fourths of the way through my first beer red flags about how incompetent this girl must be are going crazy but i'm already on the right the final time she calls me she says he is their parking lot to which i reply no it's all street parking but there were a lot of open spots when i parked you then replies i don't know how to parallel park mind you this is a city parallel parking is a way of life i'm pretty dumbfounded that she doesn't possess this skill this is already a nightmare in my mind and as i sit there pondering how to solve it she asks if i would mind coming out to park her car i agree and start walking outside being a bit embarrassed at having to explain that i'll be right back to the hostess i walk outside and a few minutes later she pulls up first of all this girl was not as advertised i got my space angled hard i'm not someone who needs the perfect girl but i'm telling you this was out of control i climb into the driver's seat and the first thing i say is how weird it is i tell her i haven't driven anything but a manual in three years and her automatic feels very strange i slowly accelerate and hair down the block about three stroke fourths of the way down i see an open spot i let off the gas and instinctively go to push in the clutch instead i stomped the brake hard this girl had quite a lot of mass and wasn't wearing a seat belt any physics student knows what happened next her head flies forward and nails the dashboard i start apologizing like crazy and luckily she wasn't hurt we spent the next hour having a really awkward dinner and then parted ways no we didn't call each other td dr girl asks me to park her car it's an automatic and i drive a manual i hit brake instead of clutch slamming her head into the dashboard more like take this fatty slams breaks another okay cupid chick we talked for a few times the photos were small and blurry but i got the basic idea at least enough to set up a date since she lived about 10 blocks away she was about 24 at the time and i was 28. we meet at a bar and while she isn't fat she is more plump than her profile led on but all in all not anywhere near as bad as some of the girls disgust here i knew nothing was going to come of it but had nothing else to do that tonight so i figured i could have some drinks and hit the sack before midnight almost as soon as we met she suggests we start taking shots of whiskey this girl could drink over the course of a couple of hours she probably had a half dozen shots of whiskey and several mixed drinks during the process she liked to discuss how much she loved giving bj's and how s she was i guess she had self-esteem issues i don't know i was plastered like blind drunk by the time we are ready to leave i don't remember going to my apartment but i remember we ended up on my couch with a movie on as i faded in and out of consciousness and she raided my liquor cabinet what happens next would have landed me in jail if the rolls were reversed first i wake up to her on my lap she is sitting facing away from me grinding her still in dress and panties crotch against my jeans and stumbling about during the process then things go black again i wake up again and this time it is to a bj i might have been drunk but i remember a good bj and this chick was giving a great deep throat gagging bj like only a drunk girl and or ponsta can then things go black again i wake up again and now she has my pants around my knees she had removed her panties and squatting over me freaking me with no condom i remember being totally freaked out by that but not as freaked out as when she removed her bra and the dusting of dead skin fell out of the cups and onto my black shirt i literally threw her off of me as i stood up and ran to the bathroom with my pants around my ankles puking my guts out into the toilet when i got back from the bathroom i was slightly sobered up and she was sitting on the couch masturbating she asked if we could finish freaking and i said no but she could finish me with a bj if she wanted to i honestly don't remember if i came or not because i passed out again when i woke up the next morning she was gone and i never replied to another one of her text or okay cupid messages again ro that bra removing part of the story is one of the nastiest things i have ever heard in my life i'm going to post a couple of these i was set up with a friend of my roommate's girlfriend let's call the date lisa and let's call the roomies gf karen i knew what she looked like so i knew there was an attraction but i had never spoken with her we met outside of the restaurant and lisa was on her cell phone i figured it must have been important but as we walked in and waited for the table she kept talking about stupid crap clearly on the phone with the bff about nonsense she gets off the phone doesn't apologize and we get seated about two minutes later her phone rings again and it is the same omg no way crap conversations the waitress comes over and we order drinks while she is still on the phone and i twiddle my thumbs the drinks come lisa is still on the phone i'm one stroke two done my drink and have waved the waitress off once already because lisa is still on the phone finally about 20 minutes into it i quietly stand up take twenty dollars out of my wallet and walk out without saying a word as i'm walking out i see lisa's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates her mouth opened wide and her face turning red in embarrassment all of the surrounding tables had seen what transpired and were whispering to themselves about it by the time i got home my date lisa was on the phone with karen who was over at our house at the time it didn't occur to me until now that my date was probably on the phone with karen the whole time karen was pee as soon as i walked through the door she started attacking me with you are such a butthole why would you just leave her there and not say anything i looked her dead in the eyes and calmly replied i didn't want to interrupt such an important phone call and then walked into my room and went to bed as i was leaving the living room i noticed the same expression on her face that lisa had when i left the restaurant side note fast forward about six months and lisa and i wound up being frick buddies for a while so everyone won in the end so i was going to school in new jersey the school that i was attending had about a 15 one guy to go ratio so you can imagine how much fun those parties were so getting pretty desperate for female attention i turned my sights to a couple of online dating sites after a few weeks i set my sights on one girl that i had talked to a few times through the site we decide to get together after quite a bit of flirting i should mention at this point that i was aware from the beginning that she had three kids i took caution to this but figured since i wasn't long for new jersey as to just take this as a sign that she was sexually active i should also mention that the town i was living in in new jersey was a heck hole that didn't house a single attractive or even moderately attractive woman within a 30 mile radius so i drive about 30 minutes to this bar in her hometown the next friday to meet her i run into her almost immediately is the situation she's got a cute face and a nice rack she has a few extra pounds on her but not to any point where i would call a fat we have quite a few drinks while chilling playing scuffle board talking to her ex-lesbian lover another story maybe we decide to leave the bar a few hours later she suggests going back to the apartment which i assume is hers more to come on that before we do though she grabs a 12-pack of michelob ultra blah from the bars cooler and tells me to walk like this a normal thing in this heck hole that is bloomington new jersey we get to the apartment and start drinking the beer conversation dies down pretty quick so i just throw it out there being that i am drunk while i have sex not the classiest moment of my life but it worked so i'm not embarrassed about it she takes me by the hand and go to the bedroom she take off her pants i take off mine and we start going at it a few minutes in we hear the front door open immediately she tells me to stop and pretend i'm sleeping i'm all what the frick the door to the room opens and the light turns on all i can hear is oh what the frick i peek over my shoulder and see a girl and a very large guy standing in the doorway looking shocked the guy is freaking out and the girl is trying to calm him down telling him it's okay i'm dead i know it this is how my life is going to end the only thing that saves me is when he takes a girl and throws her to the ground this pisses her off more than i have ever seen another person pee and he immediately starts apologizing to her as they leave the room i jump out of bed throw my pants back on and sprint out the door i later find out that it was her sister's place room and she was living with her boyfriend a boyfriend who very well could play linebacker for the dallas cowboys scariest moment of my life and worst blind date experience frick i'm from new jersey and i don't even know where bloomington is tldr blind date turned out to be a surprise couch masturbator i met a couple through a mutual friend and we hang out for a bit one night have a decent time i spend a couple days afterwards texting back and forth with the wife of the couple thinking hey new friend she eventually starts talking up this friend of hers gary and it is clear she wants to set us up on a date okay i think i'm newly single again after five years of bad relationship we'll see how this goes she describes him as football player build not being a sports person does not occur to me i should have asked her to clarify would he be a quarterback or lineman for instance anyhow i meet gary for coffee downtown suffice it to say he is a substantial man but i think hey i'm not perfect either i'll give him a shot we have an okay time over coffee talking about regular random small talk topics he walks me back to my place but the knight is still young and he suggests hanging out and watching some futurama so i invite him up as soon as we are sitting down he starts talking about his ex and all the drama she brought into his life and it slowly comes to light that they may not be actually broken up he is just seeing what else is out there hrm at this point i'm more than over the date and i'm ready for him to get out of my apartment so i go to the restroom and plan on feigning illness upon my return it turns out he gave me an even better excuse to give him the heave-ho i returned from the bathroom only to find him on my couch masturbating furiously i freak out ask him what he is doing and he says what does it look like and makes a motion for me to come join him i was kind of at a loss at this point and i think all i did was say something about how he needs to leave he removes his hand from inside his pants did i mention he was wearing sweatpants sick shrugs and exits i never heard from him or the woman who introduced me to him again that's dangerously close to the naked man technique from how i met your mother the idea is that you would be so surprised by what you saw that you'd have sex with him simply out of respect for doing something so bold that's a brave man there holy crap mine doesn't even compare to that once went on a date with a guy from work bad idea who took me to dave and busters for one an arcade for those who don't know during the meal he said all of the following i have a short attention span and can't date a single girl for over three months i want to become a professional video game player i want to train to be a professional eater i don't want to work a day in my life i just want to play paintball he was 23 years old and i was 20 even i knew this was childish nonsense later on at the movie he asked if i would pay for our tickets because he ran out of money on our 25 dinner at the arcade how to make all of these sound better i am super adventurous and love trying new things i want a job where i really on my ability to perform things quickly and accurately i would love to be a food critic someday i enjoy spending a lot of my time outdoors playing sports i went on a blind date two years ago with a guy one of my good friends set me up with he just started university at usc and was majoring in political science i thought he sounded pretty smart from what my friend told me and agreed we met at laguna beach and had dinner at the greeters restaurant which is this cute little place that doesn't have the best decor but has good food with large portions it was fine at first because he was cute and we had some things in common like music and travelling it wasn't until he started mentioning that he was a die-hard republican and did not support gay marriage and abortions and ivf babies i'm an ivf baby and it's a sore subject because my mom tried so hard to have a baby with my dad and it wasn't until she tried ivf that she had me stupidly i asked him what did he have against ivf babies he immediately spews on and on that ivf babies are nothing more than objects of status to their parents that it violates the rights of the child depriving him of his true relationship with his parents and can hinder the maturing of his personality etc by this point i was done with the date and just nodded along to whatever he said after he paid the check he drove me home and walked me to the front door i unlocked it and then turned around to say good night when he leaned in with his tongue already out i didn't know what to do so i tilted my head so he would hit my cheek worst feeling ever of tongue licking your face when i went inside he looked at me shocked and asked if i was going to invite him in when i told him no he got p and said that i paid for your freaking dinner by then i just wanted to drink a bottle of wine by myself so i took ten dollars out of my wallet threw it in his face and closed the door worst blind date ever i liked the ten dollar and the face part when i was very young probably around 12 or 13 an older friend of mine asked me if i wanted to go to a shop with him i said i didn't have any problems with it and happily went along on the way there he said he was meeting up with a girl and asked if i'd mind talking to her sister her sister was severely handicapped and in a wheelchair of course i didn't find this out until i met her the girl then decided she didn't like me and proceeded to insult me based know your username i would think you guys have at least one thing in common college years set up on a date with a nice girl who was totally in love with her next door neighbor who wanted to be a catholic priest one and done ouch about nine years ago i was bored and unsure where to meet new people after ending a four-year relationship so i decided to give online dating a try it seemed like a great idea eventually i start emailing this awesome guy his messages are laced with genuine wit and charm he's good looking he's smart well educated and makes me laugh everything seems fantastic and eventually we meet at a coffee shop he looks even better than his photo score he has a great smile and is as tall as he said he was everything was super amazing great as we sit at the coffee shop we make small talk and i notice he is starting to sweat not a little nervous wet but i just ran a freaking marathon sweat i ask him if he's just worked out to make conversation and he spends the next hour detailing all of his mental health and medical problems including his glandular problems explosive temper anxiety and jealousy he looks around nervously and mentions that his ex has a restraining order against him and that he's afraid she just walked by the coffee shop he asks me to meet him a few blocks away so he doesn't get arrested i just gathered up my bag walked straight to my car and drove away without even a goodbye thanks match.com she was mean to the waitress it was bizarre there's not much else to tell it was just an incredibly awkward experience i went back and tipped the waitress double under the guise of using the restroom a date being rude to her server is a huge turn off what's the worst first date you've ever been on i met a girl on okcupid she seemed pretty down to earth and we had a lot in common we chatted for several days through im and emails and i asked her if she would like to meet up and get dinner she agreed and all of the sudden she turned into captain needy pants the two days leading up to the date should have been my automatic red flag she texted me constantly and would say things like i can't wait to see you at first i thought it was cute but after like five texts in one day saying the same thing i thought she was getting a little out of control i almost cancelled the date because i was getting such mega creeper vibes but i decided not to she shows up at the place we agreed to meet up at and she looks way hotter than her pictures she is gorgeous she might have been one of the most attractive girls i have been out with the date starts off pretty good and we are having good conversation i started thinking maybe she was just genuinely excited to meet me and then about 25 minutes into the date she reintroduces the crazy side of herself the first thing she said was so what are we doing tomorrow night and i was not sure how she meant it so i was laughed and said i'm sorry i have plans tomorrow night well this apparently was the wrong answer she slams down her fork and she says you are going out with some other s tomorrow aren't you i wasn't even sure what to say so i squinted my eyes a little and leaned my ear towards her and said excuse me the next five minutes are still a mystery to me of what actually happened but she went on a rant at almost yelling volume she proceeded to chew me out about how i was a horrible boyfriend and how all she wanted in life was for me to love her i finally was able to get a word in edgewise and said i am not your boyfriend this is our first date what the frick is wrong with you i get the bill from the waiter just hand him 60 bucks and start to leave she follows me out and tries to stop me and i am like i am sorry but i need to go she starts crying and she grabs my arm and will not let go and at some point she is actually on the ground with a death grip around my leg begging me to give her another chance i finally break free and get to the parking deck and drive away she is standing at the exit to the deck with tears streaming down her face and she is screaming something at me i rolled up all the windows so i couldn't hear her i drove away and was so thankful that date was over she continued to blow up my phone for the next week and half on the following day i had almost 30 missed calls from her and over 50 text messages i finally had the number blocked by verizon and the drama stopped i'm totally thankful she didn't know where i lived because i am sure she would have stalked the crap out of me i just finished reading [ __ ] finish first by tucker max and i am immediately reminded of a portion of his book i am paraphrasing if there's one thing you need to know about dating women it's this one hot two single three sane pick two of course like a lot of this book s this is a gross exaggeration still doesn't make it less funny and true on some level i've told this story on reddit before but here goes so i met this girl on the internet and she seemed really nice and down to earth we had a lot in common including our hobbies and politics and stuff like that so i was thinking we might hit it off we agree to meet up in person at a calorie brothers coffee place now bear in mind that i'm not super attractive so up to this point she hasn't seen any pictures of me instead we have pre-arranged recognition signals she walks in the door and i spot her by her clothing instantly and start waving she gets this sort of uncertain look on her face and walks over and says sam and when i say yes she just says haha no one walks out feels bad second edit or the blind thanks for the suggestions on my first date with this girl i excuse myself to use the bathroom she gets up and follows me making flirtatious remarks along the way i think nothing of it assuming she needed to use the restroom too and was just making small talk i walk inside the men's restroom and she walks straight in with me so i says to mabel i says um i actually do need to use the restroom oh i'll watch no just number i was not able to pee in public for a while after that clearly she thought the date was going better than you did within the first five minutes guy told me he killed his dog by leaving it in the hot car for 12 hours when he realized i was horrified he tried to pass it off as a joke i left immediately blind date arranged by a mutual friend i get there she's already eating appetizers i'm 10 minutes early then she orders the most expensive dinner on the menu and tells me she did it because she knows i'm paying a small talk fails and for 45 minutes she complains about how no one is refilling her wine glass she kills the glass every 20 seconds she mentions how she was told that i make a decent salary multiple times i try to be civil and change the subject awkward conversational topics ensue nothing even close to first date etiquette follows three stroke four of the way through i go to the bathroom and our waiter walks by asks me if we are doing a reality show or something along those lines since he has seen this disaster in motion we talk about how wild this woman is for about five minutes and then i ask him to stop at our table and ask about the bill i immediately say split checks and give him eighty dollars roughly forty for my bill and forty for his tip but the date looked shocked and ended up not being able to pay her bill so the friend who hooked us up got a call and flipped the rest of her check her total came to be about 75 last blind date ever i'm glad to see you were quick enough not to cover her dumb butt i went to college at creighton and omaha knee this was nice because it was near an airfield so even insecure slightly chubby women like myself had a chance at a date i met an air force guy with all american blue collar looks at a bar called guitars and cadillacs that should have been my first clue yeah so on a saturday airman joe blow or whatever says he'll pick me up from my dorm at seven i get a call at 7 30 from him saying that while he was at a gas station some lady bumped into his car and somehow shattered the window of his 1994 camaro warning warning so he goes back to the base to pick up his friend's car a plymouth k car with plastic for the passenger side window we go to a movie we hit up a taco bell for dinner mind you i am not particular about big money dates but when the conversation is waning between discussing the movie face off and a person's favorite vodka i start to get fidgety after taco bell he's driving me back to the dorm when he pulls over into a gravel parking lot puts the car in park and grabs me for the wettest most intrusive kiss i've ever experienced of course my head has been pushed back onto the plastic framing the window and i've used enough force to back away from the sweat attack that my head pops through the plastic sheeting ga hhh i say what are you doing i thought you would be into it he says as he wipes saliva off his cheek i say um i think you better just take me back home he says my dong is seriously nine inches long i say get me back to the dorm right now please the nice thing was that the wind blowing through the plastic sheeting made it nearly impossible to have a conversation on the way home and this would be my worst date ever double date with a girl from college and two nerds the girl who had asked me out was kind of a swervy driver and didn't he seem to have driven much before that night literally five seconds before pulling into our parking space the girl in the backseat threw up mid-sentence she threw up all over her feet and clothes and all over the floor to make matters worse the car did not belong to my date but was just a loner i spent the night helping clean the car out this date wasn't strange but the circumstances regarding the sex show was i was dating this girl when i was 21 and she was 18. she still lived with her parents and at the time i was living with a friend and his family this didn't give us a whole lot of room for privacy so we hooked up whenever and wherever we could my aunt lived in the next town and we had a pretty good relationship she didn't mind if i brought a girl over to her house to have sex especially since she was rarely at home it's a friday night and i call my aunt on the phone to ask her if i could use her place for the evening but she of course had no problem with it but said i had to get the key from my cousin her son no problem i pick up my girlfriend drive about 30 minutes to the pool hall where my cousin was hanging out got the key from him then head over to the house i assumed no one was home since they all usually go out on friday nights so we made our way to the back bedroom this was the biggest bed in the house and one we had used before i opened the door and see two old people sleeping dang i told my girl that was my grandparents so we had to use the twin bed we made our way to the other bedroom and proceeded to pound away when it was over we lay there in the afterglow we didn't want to leave but she had to be home and it was another 30 minute drive back to her place i get up get dressed and go out into the living room there is an old man there that i didn't know this wasn't unusual as my aunt would usually have people at her house that i didn't know we exchanged greetings and i told him i was my aunt's nephew he said that he was diabetic and that he had to get up to get something to eat my girlfriend had finished dressing we said goodbye to the old man and headed out the door as we were walking out the door a car pulled into the driveway i didn't recognize the person it waved anyway got in the car then drove away all the time this guy was just staring at us drove to take my girlfriend home then drove all the way back to give the key back to my cousin i walk up to him and he says i gave you the wrong key what do you mean you gave me the wrong key i said you gave me the key for the house over on smith street i know he said we don't live there anymore we live over on turner street now what do you mean you don't live there anymore i was just there who lives there now i asked heck if i know he replied we moved last week this would explain the strange couple in the bedroom and the strange looks from the guy pulling into the driveway since the house was small and only had two bedrooms i figured that we must have had sex on his bed it's a good thing i was sadly quick on the draw back then i can't imagine what would have happened if he wouldn't have walked in on two strangers going at it on his bed tl dr had sex in a stranger's house bro i'm sure my girlfriend will tell you it's with me at the time i like to go on long walks to clear my head and my favorite place to go was walking through the woods i always went out for a walk at night time so i had gotten used to walking through the woods at night and i really enjoyed it i still do there's something serene and peaceful there in the darkness and silence anyway after a relatively successful evening watching yes man in the cinema and chilling out in the arcade i opted to walk her home she accepted yes one point i then offered to take her my usual route and i told her it was through the woods i wanted to show her why i liked it so much no doubt i came across as some sort of rapist she still doesn't let me hear the end of it jon on our first date who tried to take me through the woods at midnight fair enough even i see her point what on earth was i thinking still together though she must have liked me we went to see the high school's version of american idol he was 15 minutes late i had to save our seats and i had to buy his ticket when he finally got in he clenched my hand in a sweaty grip throughout the entire night while shaking nervously it was cute whatever he kept making awkward conversation and tried to make me laugh which i tried to do politely afterward we walked out of the building to where his mom was picking him up he kissed me on the forehead hard oh high school i brought a girl back to my house for dinner and a movie i had previously made a bet with her wear and if she won i'd make her dinner and bake pie but if i won she had to make out with me either way win win-win right so we finish dinner and go back into my bedroom to watch a movie midway through the flick she says i'm still a bit hungry i think i'll go grab a quick bite of the leftovers she gets up and goes into the kitchen i decide about 45 seconds later as my stomach rumbles that this sounds like a great idea i arrive in the kitchen to see her standing over my silverware drawer emptying it into her purse i was shocked i'd never had a date try to rob me before i asked what the heck are you doing her reply giggle oopsie i'd have been pee already but the girly giggling bs answer just put me over the edge i walked up looked in her bag and saw that she'd only managed to grab some of the crappier silverware so far at that point i reached over to the counter and grabbed a slice of the pie i looked her in the eyes and said don't forget your dessert then while holding her gaze i dropped the pie into her purse and smashed it up as best i could with the sides of the purse to make sure it got in there nice and good kicked her out never saw her again i was set up on a blind date with an aerobics instructor i'm tall lean and fit myself i'd recently smashed my honda sedan my fault and was temporarily driving an old pickup instead she spent the day telling me how much better she could do than with me the feeling was mutual dating this girl who i later realized was pretty much using me to buy her stuff i took her out to dinner and surprised her with concert tickets to jerry cantrell of alice in chains she was excited but then proceeded to spend most of the rest of dinner on the phone telling her friends kinda rude but no big deal fast forward to the night of the show i take her to dinner and she acts icy cold barely makes conversation and shrugs me off every time i try to make conversation ha take the skytrain down to the venue doesn't want me to touch her at all pulls away at incidental contact even huh we get to the venue go inside and i buy us a couple of drinks she curtly thanks me for the drink and then says she'll be right back i grab my drink and head to the stage where i see her talking to some other guy it becomes very clear quite quickly that they are together or at least have been before so i walk up and say there you are what's up she replies oh it's you hi this is my friend he gives me a nod and a look that pretty much says it all they are together and i've been played like a fricking fiddle so now i'm in this horrible situation jerry cantrell goes on stage in 30 minutes and i'm gonna have to either uh go home now wallowing in misery or b stay and see the show knowing this god mw is enjoying it with a [ __ ] toy less than 20 feet from me frick so i do what any other alice and chains fan would do i get stinking drunk on whiskey and beer and sloppily dance mosh for the next two hours trying to ignore that stinging feeling every time i see her grinding on the scumbag the show was great and the crowd was awesome minus the two so that was a plus i went home as soon as jerry left the stage said eat crap to the girl on the way out and pretty much drunkenly sobbed on the ride home freaking pathetic but at least i learned a lesson about how evil some girls can be and learn to protect my heart more closely in the future worst date i've ever been on worst best heck i don't even know picked a girl up from her house and walk into the nearby neighborhood district to pick out a restaurant to eat at jokingly i said mcdonald's frick it i love mcdonald's she said if we go there i am breaking up with you i couldn't stand something like that so thus we went to mcdonald's not a single frick was given that day i'm sure you know the game girls people in general always play where they want to go get something to eat but then they want you to decide where to go i always just say mcdonald's and let it linger they will always figure out somewhere they actually want to go after that i have a bit of a nerd fetish so awkward dates kind of come with the territory the worst was when i went out with a co-worker friend we were flirty but nothing serious he was so nervous he brought his roommate so he wouldn't have to go alone he was 28 sad part is that i would have stuck around were it not for roomie mikford wheel like i said nerd fetish thank you for existing my worst date was way back in sixth grade even though girls thought i was cute then which i actually didn't know until late high school i was a super shy geeky kid who played tons of computer games and legos but late one night after a school dance where i slow dancing with one of the most popular girls her friend called me up in the most typically cute middle school awkward conversations between the girl's friend and the girl we became boyfriend and girlfriend so we set up a first couple's date that next friday to go to the park maybe the mall etc at that time i started playing the pc game mc warriors 4 so i was obsessed with mc warriors i love them so much that i poorly drew battle matches all the time so being the cute bit shy and totally inexperienced 11 year old i had the bright idea of spending the day drawing battle matches at the park i showed her my pictures of a mad cat mk 2. what a gauss cannon looks like and how it works just the nerdiest sixth grader crap you could possibly think of for two hours i basically forced the poor girl to try and make up the best battle match with the best weapons and though she was trying to get us to go to the mall i wanted to show off my drawing skills and my knowledge of mcwarrier during the date i thought i was the hottest crap in the world the date ended with her making an excuse to leave and me thinking nailed i t the next day i was met with awkward looks and stares and finally a classmate told me that the girl i took on the date thought i was a creeper nerd and i was made fun of for the rest of the year as the unpopular geek who was obsessed with robots there wasn't even an official breakup either though on a happy note i learned how to break dance over that summer and became the most popular guy in school for all of seventh grade ah middle school you should call her up sometime and remind her that you're still going one night in the eighth grade i finally got the balls to ask this girl out she so happened to be a friend of my best friend's current girlfriend so we decided to make it a double date during the movie everything was going as planned i sat by her while my friend sat with his girlfriend then we see a couple of her [ __ ] girlfriends walk into the theater and so happened to see the girl i was with right away she then motioned with her hand for her friends to come over here when her friends got to where we were sitting the girl i asked out turns to me and asked can you scoot down a seat so i can sit next to my friends i said sure so i got up and just walked out of the theater and to add insult to injury she stayed there and her friends ate the popcorn i bought we were 14 didn't know what the frick to do about women so i took this one girl to subway on valentine's day for some sandwiches it was freezing out with five feet of snow she brought her friend for the whole meal i talked about the benefits of subway we walk back on the way her friend kicks a piece of plastic for some stupid reason i don't know if it was stress or whatever i thought it would be awesome to jump up and down on this piece of plastic while grunting i crap you not that's what i did to try and impress my date i destroyed a helpless piece of plastic then kicked it onto the road i still cringe to this day and i'm trying to black it out it was very violent yet for some reason this chick still dug me she talked about how cold her hands were the whole way back at the time having so little experience i didn't understand the signals of her wanting to hold my hand we got back to school said goodbye and we were forever awkward around each other for the rest of our high school careers i am not sure if this counts as a date or not but after my roommates and i found a free kitty on craigslist we decided to adopt it we went out to the guy's house and my roommate brought her bf the guy giving away the cat was only doing so because he still lived with his dad as an adult over 20 but his dad was getting remarried and the new wife was allergic to cass so they made him give it away this is all fine and good but the creeper part comes in when he takes the cat still in the cage and proceeds to talk to it in an extremely high voice telling it how much he loved it and would never forget it this is also okay a little strange but okay but then he proceeds to lament about how he is losing his only friend and about how he can never get a girlfriend and asks us about our relationship status my roommate pipes up and says her bf is waiting in the car but i am more than single and also looking at this point the guy is like a freaking falcon diving down on a mouse he grabs my hand kisses it in the most awkward and wet way possible and asks me out on a date he also asks for my number and to keep him updated on his precious baby about how he likes to draw on deviantart and about how his drawings are art and not traced he gives me his account name and asked me to look him up followed by asking my phone number i decide to give him the number to time my friend with a huge troll grin on her face loads the cat into the car and we leave he blows me a kiss as we leave i looked up his account just for the lulls after a few days it was full of poorly drawn sonic p but also a new pic that had a depiction of a blue sonic kissing a pink sonic's hand my friend then told me it was definitely a sure thing and that i should go for it met a girl online yes i know but i had had relatively good experiences with this before i was very much not in the mood for a serious thing at the time either so i met this girl and her friend at some house which they were parked outside of i walk up to the car and the girl looks slightly less attractive than the two pictures she had up only two picks on her profile and both from the same angle normally a red flag but frickit i took a chance but she doesn't seem terrible at first so we go to a grocery store because her friend needs something as soon as i get out of my car her friend hits me up for gas money i'm like wtf but kind of shrug it off anyway maybe her friend is just nuts the girl i'm supposed to be seeing gets out of the car and is a good 15 pounds heavier than she appeared to be she's wearing pants that my grandpa would have worn when he was alive and a two size is too small might morph and power rangers jacket at this point i'm starting to prepare for an emergency evac cause this is going downhill fast as we walk into the store i am getting sudden terrible whiffs of bo i realize in horror that they're coming from her keep in mind we're outside the wind is blowing all of her clothes are on and i can still smell her funk now imagine the smell when this chick takes her pants off for sexy time no thanks so now i know i need to bail i feign interest in whatever the heck she was talking about while i figure out an escape route as i actually make real eye contact with her for the first time i realize she also has a lazy eye wtf so i go to the bathroom in the grocery store and call my friend i tell him to call me in no less than 10 minutes and tell me i am supposed to be at a party he's hosting within the hour because i'd promised i'd help set up the stinky girl gets in my car and finally my phone rings we play out the whole thing yada yada yada oh so sorry i promised i'd be there sucks to cut this short etc so she asks if i can give her a ride to where she's staying gladly so the whole drive there she tells me this story about how she stabbed a girl in high school because she dumped a good friend of hers or something i was beginning to wonder if this girl was intentionally trying to make me as uncomfortable as humanly possible never again haha nice job with getting the frick out of there seems like no one in this thread has the balls to leave a crappy date gentlemen what is an absolute red flag a woman can raise on the first date my brother was in the army when he was set up on a blind date by a friend's girlfriend apparently during the first 10 minutes of dinner she was talking about how she would be such a great and loyal army wife and how she thought army wives were so brave and admirable and how she would never leave him if he was injured he had literally just met this girl he stuck it out through dinner faked sick and left she pursued him pretty hard after but he lied and told her he decided he wasn't really over his ex and wasn't ready for a relationship he said about a month later she tried to text him with a booty call and said she even tried to sweeten the deal by saying he didn't need to wear protection because she was on birth control like how many red flags can one girl have this takes me back to the early twenties version of me and a fine lass named rebecca we met at a new year's party she tall and artsy with some feather arrangement in her hair i compliment it ooh midnight and a proper kiss on the cheek with the promise of a first date to start 1991 picked her up for said date a few days later and same hair treatment she tells me she's obsessed with birds and always wears a feather somewhere up okay no problem she's still cute in full light and this just makes her quirky right i was just a few years older and we went to a really nice italian place near dc she remarks how nice to be out with a grown upper she's finishing college and has been dating boys nice dinner's great until dessert the whipped cream on mine reminds her of her last boyfriend she then tells me in great detail how she stalked him hiding in bushes near his house to spy effing with his tires and covering his entire car in whipped cream and eggs isn't that just the funnest check please are you sure she wasn't actually a bird i went to meet a woman from an online dating site and at the last minute she texted to ask if i could swing by her house which was only a few blocks away from the starbucks we were supposed to meet at that should have been a tip-off in retrospect but we chatted a lot online so i felt comfortable enough maybe she just needed a lift or something instead i come up to her house and when she opens the door she is wearing an ankle bracelet she begs me to please understand how she didn't want to mention it on the dating site and to please hear her out i was naturally uncomfortable by this point but also curious so i sat down for a few minutes in her living room she told me of this domestic dispute she had with her ex that had turned violent and now she was on 30 days house arrest a very overweight teenage girl came into the room at this point and the woman said oh yeah i also forget to mention i come with this now i just wanted to get the heck out of there i started making excuses to leave but she kept trying to get me to stay please just one date after i am done with house arrest the things i could learn from a man of your smarts i said nothing besides i really have to go well think about it i just walked out the door and she followed explaining that the bracelet had a range of several feet outside i was rummaging for my car keys next to my car when she grabbed my left hand and slid it under her shirt placing it directly on her bare breast she looked up at me with a wicked grin i got in the car without a word and just drove i never felt so happy to drive away from a place in my life so yay asking me about red flags may not be a great idea though hopefully i have wised up since then [Music] asking if you have ever done h and would like to shoot up later unless you do want to shoot up later same for doing lines of coke had dinner with a blind date only saw her eyes maybe for three minutes before she was glued to her instagram and snapchat giggling to herself and replying to her followers tried to have a decent convo but she was like aha that's cool waitress comes she doesn't even bother looking at the menu steak fries and a glass of champagne then out of the blue how much money do you make i got up told her the date was done and left her at the restaurant she was so glued to her phone she just nodded she blows up my phone raging that i was supposed to buy her her dinner and exclaimed she had no money or ride to get back to her man's place so yeah she was fishing for free food and drinks you made it out perfectly congrats on you oh boy here we go long story short i went on a date with a chick and we were vibing really well before she turned ice cold and began acting like a bee at that point i just wasn't enjoying it so i made up some excuse about having some stuff to do and left few hours later she texts me she was disappointed that i gave up so easy and she was testing how much i liked her needless to say i didn't ask her on a second date i'd rather be single-celled but then have a relationship sex with the entire cast of mean girls crammed into a single person with a maturity of a high school freshman she asked me to drive her back home to ensure she hadn't left her run on 20 years later i'm still checking that she's locked doors turned things off locked up the pets etc that's a long time to stalk somebody she brings a guy from tinder to the date his name is craig he uses a paper clip as an earring he spends most of the date sewing still wasn't the worst date i've ever had so now i wanna hear about the worst date a girl i dated was really obsessive over her ex did not like wanting to get back with him no no no good sir she just wanted to make sure he didn't date anyone and would force everyone around her to help her including me i found out from her ex a really nice guy that on the first date we went on she chose a specific restaurant because he had a date and she wanted to ruin it yikes your well-meaning co-worker sets you up on a blind date with her fun friend you agree to meet at a bar but then her friend asks you to pick her up because she lost her license you get to her apartment and she is arguing with a man out front she flips him the bird before spitting in his face then gets into your car it is at this crucial point you notice she brought a suitcase full of her things after you finish the drink you ordered with your meal she finishes her fifth one the entire time you haven't said more than a few words not because you're being indifferent but because she always interrupts with anecdotes about her abusive childhood the bill comes she slides it over to you she informs you that she doesn't have any money and assumed you had intended to pay for the entire date on the way to the car she informs you that she wants to have unprotected sex don't worry though she tells you that you cannot impregnate her she is already carrying another man's child while taking her home she begins gesturing to her suitcase while asking to live with you a few weeks she is broken destitute till she begins her new job as a stripper on monday the man she was arguing with was letting her stay with him till she saved up enough money for her own place unfortunately that man had kicked her out since she was bringing other men over to his apartment to freak in her opinion it was unfair after all she never agreed to only be sleeping with him exclusively after pulling her hand out of your crotch and telling her you're not interested you get to the apartment you picked her up from unfortunately you live in the same apartment complex only a couple buildings around the corner far enough from where you park but not so far that she doesn't follow you all the way to your front door she sexually assaults you while trying to force her way into the apartment you panic but then hear your cell phone ring it's a telemarketer telling you about your vehicle's expiring extended warranty you pretend it's work push your way outside lock the door and hope she forgets the number scrolling across it she follows you to your car asking when you will come back home you leave her standing in the rearview mirror while you speed off into the night you then spend a few hours sitting in the mall parking lot waiting for a chance to sneak back home while on your third cigarette to deal with the second anxiety attack even though you previously quit smoking for over one year you come to a grand realization your co-worker is kind of a bee apologies for the awful experience but congratulations on the compelling narrative i hope you don't mind but i couldn't find a babysitter and brought my kid i'm yes i do mind you could have rescheduled this is supposed to be a date not a future daddy test here's some money for you and the kid to have a nice dinner bye yes also lying about having kids and having know when you are at her place when she gets too personal and wants to know the street you're grew up on your first dog's name what your first car was where you went to school mother's maiden name the three wacky numbers on the back of your credit card making comments to imply that you want to worship a gift-giver instead of a partner if you don't see a so as an equal it's a bad sign pay pig there are a few one she never bothers to engage in small talk during the date at all and any attempt on your part is only met with single word answers another would be if she kept talking about her ex during the date lastly she answers her phone saying hey dad this isn't a good time but you quickly notice the name on the call display oddly matches the name of your own father who disappeared when you were little arsenal i incest she will raise a big red flag if she treats strangers like crap you can tell a great deal about somebody by how they treat people who have no material benefits to them super underrated observation i actually have a go to business restaurant bar where i know the staff very well they give me tons of info on how potential business associates treated them and it is about 90 predictive of what they are truly like to deal with down the road automatically ordering the most expensive thing on the menu if they are not splitting the bill not treating wait staff with respect not trying to maintain eye contact while not being socially awkward this one is context dependent constant use of their phone grossly bashing their ex or talking at length about them not the normal oh my ex was a dong but really going on about it being generally inconsiderate or arrogant diverting conversation to talk overly about themselves even on topics not about them not showing any interest in me as a person my ex and i used to split all our bills and we went on twice as many dates when every time you bring a girl out is a financial burden you start to resent spending time with someone if she starts playing on her phone that means i hey she's just there for a free meal b she's already dating someone see she's not interested in you d all of the above apart from all the usual ones i really know it's not going to work if they start complaining about having to walk a short way when together i get it if they are wearing heels but if we plan to go to a restaurant walk around a bit and see a movie and 200 meters into the walking they start complaining then it's just not going to work out i dated a girl once who would get mad if i wouldn't circle around or wait until one of the closest spots were open her dad would do it all the time i happen to be one of those people who park as far away as possible so my car doesn't get dinged by careless kids it didn't work well telling you right at the beginning of a date how much he hates martin luther king jr yeah that was awkward talking about how they want a man who knows how to treat a lady or checking out other guys with their eyes while still actually talking to you or ridiculing things you said or telling you their ex-boyfriend is a policeman and if anyone hurts me he will get them or telling you they have a bf but he's going to be in jail for six months or ordering as much expensive stuff as they can obviously more than they can eat because they think a date is a chance to burn a guy for as much as they can get or telling you about how their ex was and but whole in fact all their exes were buttholes or lying about their sprints or age before a blind date or some of the first questions they ask you are how much do you earn what car do you drive where do you live do you own or rent or telling you their last bf was was so generous he even bought you a house and gave it to you nine korean girl in china receiving more than a dozen calls on her phone mostly that sounded mail while still in the car on the way to the restaurant chinese girl i'd already decided not to date her again before we reached the restaurant these are all things i have personally experienced dating yikes came to this thread afraid i'd see something i'm inadvertently doing as a red flag because i can be a little socially awkward leaving this thread feeling more normal than ever holy crap guys i'm sorry you're meeting these women all i see here is a green flag trying to make sure you aren't a bad person or trying to improve yourself there are some good ones here like mistreating servers making it clear she sees you as a source of money and expensive gifts or carrying on about an ex i don't want to just repeat what everyone else is saying so my red flag is anyone who seems to be constantly on or have something they're trying to prove if they can't just relax and stop trying to show what an edgy lord victim not like other girls or whatever sort of character they're trying to convince you they are being around them is going to drain you every time it's not even worth the p to me i like genuine real people who aren't constantly putting on some show i want a man who treats me like a queen usually code for i want someone to live and die for my happiness so i can be selfish forever no thanks when you're dating a girl for a few months who has a small appetite but over time you've realized her stomach is increasing in size finally you make a joke and she breaks down crying saying she was raped and really loves needs you so being nice and understanding you stay with her because you feel you can raise a child and willing enough to do anything it takes until you bring it up to a mutual friend and he refuses to look at you you begin pestering him about it until he spills the beans and reveals she cheated on you in the beginning of the relationship because she thought you guys wouldn't last long and she is going to use a baby as leverage to keep both of you together and use you for life you get to her house tell her everything you know and all she can say is who told you in the end you leave her and all of her friends questioning your entire existence the next year you meet a wonderful girl by chance and have now been going strong for two years that's a really long first date in all seriousness though that's a terrible ordeal and it sounds like it's really affected you counseling therapy might not be a bad idea of there's lingering bitterness i was expecting subtle hints coming here but instead i feel fortunate i've apparently managed to avoid absolute train wrecks a few weeks into dating my first real girlfriend things started to turn weird she started telling me that she was hanging out at an old friend's place but one of his buddies was hitting on her hardcore i told her to just walk away but she kept making up excuses that they were all in a room together and she couldn't leave i told her to tell him she had a boyfriend who wants him to back off and she told me he started threatening me she kept asking me what i wanted to say to him but i just sort of brushed it all off because this was a conversation through a third party with someone i had never met before situations like this kept popping up she would tell me she was around some guy who was being aggressive towards her trying to get me to react i kept trying to act stuff to these random people 15 years old but really i was just confused after about a month of dating she tells me that best friend's boyfriend texted her and said that he loves her and that they should run away together we all went to the same high school so i don't really know where they plan to run to she was relaying all of this to me and i started to question it he was such a nice guy why would he want to break off his relationship why is this conversation even continuing why is he persisting have you told him you're not interested shouldn't you be able to easily shut this down she gets frustrated that i'm not playing into her hand so she calls me and decides to escalate it to well i'm kind of considering it that was obviously the breaking point and a very easy response really well then we should break up she flips her opinion really quickly i didn't mean it i was crazy i'm sorry i don't even like him i'm proud of 15 year old me for sticking up for myself and completely cutting contact it turns out which is pretty obvious in hindsight that she just loved guys getting jealous over her and was lying the entire time to get me going in every relationship i've had since i've kept an eye out for the every guy i talked to is into me red flag you are a champ i had similar experience at 17 unfortunately i was far more naive then bringing up crazy things she did to guys in past relationships it doesn't make me think you're savage or cool it makes me think that's going to happen to me i opened the restaurant door for her and she told me i don't need a freaking man to open my door but i walked her to the table i gave her twenty dollars for a cab ride home and walked out i would have just bailed frick the cab money you're a better man than me when they ask you to pay for something for them or suggest that you do it for the next time went out with a girl for a really bad date there was almost zero chemistry between us things got slightly better as the date progressed but i still wouldn't even say it was in my top 100 dates and i don't think i've ever had that many i offer to drop her off on our way out and she agrees on the way to her place we saw lad for the incredibles 2 and to strike up a conversation i asked her if she liked those films she said she did and then said that we should go see it next time we go out then she added but you'll pay for my ticket right i'll often didn't say anything because i assumed she was joking and she said with a serious tone don't be cheap you got a nice car it's clear you make good money you can afford to pay for my ticket she was out of my sights the second she said that i just laughed again and said sure we can do that i dropped her off and never contacted her again for my husband tell them to read this in the most redneck hick voice possible when a girl who looks like someone just pee in her oatmeal keeps calling angry orchard green orchid gets mad at the bartender by saying i done got one of these last week it was a green orchid and then turns to you and says wanna fist me later i also like anal personally i disagree with my husband and believe this is a magnetic and appropriate way to exert one's dominance and now he's telling me about her claim to be from a parallel universe that her pastor explained to her but never mind shut it down i went on a date with a girl who ordered a steak and a cheesecake and then proceeded to eat them at the same time like in the same bite look i get weird food combinations but if you're going to make that combination on the first date there's a strong chance you have some bodies under your floorboards that almost sounds good might have to try that not a first date but my ex broke up with me because i wasn't putting enough into the relationship i didn't buy her a four-month anniversary present then beg to get back together with me and continue to complain that i didn't buy her things excuse me lady but i just found out my cat is ill and need to pay for her meds presents can't wait i'm so glad that relationship is over i remember a very long time ago when i was like 19 yo i'm 44 now i met this chick who was working at a store thrifty's that i was transferred to for a week to help them out from a neighboring city i was working for the same store we hit it off while we were working that night and long story short went out after work to a restaurant cocos while we were eating some dude walks up to our table and starts to ask her why she didn't pick up their kid since it was her turn to watch him they start yelling at each other right there at the restaurant then the guy leaves grabs their kid from his car i'm assuming it was his car i actually don't know and plops him next to her in the booth while we were eating and left i was polite and finished the meal and then said i had to go home it was so awkward the next day i had to go into work at that same store but she wasn't working that day so i didn't see her i ended up working one more day after that and still didn't see her so i went back to my store after that and didn't contact her one week goes by and she ends up calling me at work since cell phones were not a thing back then and begs me to have breakfast with her so she can explain things i have no idea why but i ended up saying yes and met her the following saturday in her city at some breakfast place i show up at the restaurant and she is sitting there with her mother and grandmother the girl then begins to apologize to me for what happened she's crying and begging me for a second chance while at the same time her mother and grandmother were begging me to give her a second chance to who btw i have never met before and i literally just met her i can't remember the exact details of what happened at the end of that breakfast but i never saw her again i thought i was in the twilight zone still to this day i always wonder how that dude knew we were at the restaurant since no one had cell phones back then [Music] she asked me to take her shopping on our second date i have my dad drop us off didn't have my license at the time age 15 so anyways she takes me to victoria secret to shop for clothes and stuff about an hour later and a half later she thinks she has enough things and asks me to help take her things to go check out at the counter i grab the rest of her things and take them over to the counter to pay that's when she just kinda stands there and acts like i'm gonna pay i said something like how this is gonna be expensive where do you work and she says something like what do you mean i thought you were helping me out with this i kinda just asked if she was joking and when she confirmed multiple times that she wasn't she claimed it's not okay to make the lady in a relationship happy or some bulls comma first of all we went on one day dish movies and now today this is not a relationship commerce second of all i'm 15. i don't have 150 to waste on clothes for someone i've spent all of maybe six hours of my life on i keep refusing to pay mostly saying that i don't have the money to pay in the first place even if i wanted to she calls her dad and has him pick her up instead of waiting for mine praying my date next weekend doesn't go the next way i've only dated two people before and she was the first i don't think this girl is the same way as the last at all though so i think we'll work out once started dating this gal who shared everything with me from her dog that she had to take care of for the last year and a half because he was dying to the sexual trauma that she had been through to her birth control that was suffering side effects from to how much it's going to cost to fix her car nothing positive was being shared and all the bad stuff she was kinda brushing over like it still wasn't the worst she'd been through i had to ghost her because i'm a bleeding heart and even i couldn't help but want to try to fix her problems but i had enough problems of my own to deal with that is married gets drunk before telling you and during the dinner date orders a second dinner to go i told her she is paying for the meal went on a date with a girl i met on occupa i picked her up since she didn't have a car it was 40 minutes to get to her place she wasn't in a thing that she looked like in her pictures and she is very much not my type but i figured you know what i'll give her a chance who knows she suggests that we go to dennis because it had the best breakfast definitely doesn't btw we sit down and try and have conversation but here are the topics she wants to talk about dang our server is so hot i love girls with big asses x2 this happened i went on a date with the submissive guy before you and he was so cute bit like worrying to me and i just didn't feel the same you know isn't it weird how many black people are here she was black i'm white welp czech comes on a single piece of paper and she asks how much is it so i show her the receipt and she proceeds to go into her purse to get money out now look my view is if i ask you to the date i'll pay if you want to pay for yourself i have great respect for you however i feel that on the few occasions that i do pay for you it makes it more meaningful since you weren't expecting it so she's at the point where she's just pulling out change and i'm thinking you know what it's only like 20 i'll pay for her even though i really didn't enjoy this date i tell her i can pay for you it's no big deal but she's insistent on paying her share i literally cannot convince her to save her own money so we get up to the counter to pay and she seems apathetic no longer interested in talking to me so once we get out of denny's i ask hey are you all right you seem indifferent she says yeah it's just i hate the rain it wasn't even raining driving nowhere really and i ask what she wants to do she still looks blank and says not really anything just want to go home i want to keep hanging with her to see if i can make her feel better so i throw out ideas like going to the mall movies bowling she says no to all just wants to go home okay here is the major red flag i'm driving her home and about 3-4 minutes of dead silence she says okay so i'm going to be honest with you the reason why i'm upset is because you made me pay for myself what i explained that she was giving me signs of not wanting me to pay for her and i respected her decision to pay for herself then she rambles on about her unfair she's treated and i'm just giving her the silent treatment we get to her house and i crap you not she looks at me and says so do you want to come inside for a while i dead but look at her and say i'm sorry but no she walks off inside i drive home and she's blocked me it was my first date ever we were in a bar that was having a cover band event she went to get some drinks as i kept the table and comes back chatting to a guy seems to be her friend but after talking to him for a while it was her boyfriend that was just back from a trip he even had his travel bag with him he was such a great guy we even maintained contact for a while and after they broke up i told him about that day late to the party but here goes i messaged a girl a couple of times on a dating app and never heard from her again so i thought that was the end of it about two weeks later she randomly answers saying sorry for not responding but she was in a car crash and blah blah even sent me a picture of a crashed car this set off some alarms but i figure frickit so we chatted a bit and she wanted to meet up to smoke some weed and she was cute so i figured why not i arrive at her place and she gets in the car muttering something about her rumored taking a poop in the toilet and having a conversation with her while she's in the shower oh look as we are driving to a spot to smoke she starts telling me about the car crash and how it was a drunk driver that hit her and how my dad is a hell's angel so he'll just get my dad and his buddies to pay him a visit excuse me was all i said and she repeated what she just said this time implying some broken bones would be made and that she might even get her dad's hell's angel law to sue him as well now at this point we have started smoking so i was wondering if i was hearing her right so i asked her hell's angel lawyer and she freaking snapped back that's what i just said so needless to say she was freaking me out major by this time and i kept looking in my rear view mirror half expecting to see her dad on his bike swinging a chain above his head but nothing she said some other crazy crap about working four jobs and that all of them were linked to the hell's angels in some way so after about 40 minutes of smoke and hearing all her hells angels stories i politely took her home and my excuse was i had to be up early i dropped her off and said it was nice meeting you with a smile and a wave i cannot tell you how happy i was after i drove off in fact i was so happy to be away from the potential biker gang daughter that i started laughing my butt off full on maniacal laughter just pure joy kind of laughing he'll never forget how happy that laugh was knowing i was going home to just my cat and not some crazy biker chick made me really appreciate being single for a while sweet lord waiters what dating disasters have you witnessed i was bartending at a restaurant in san francisco this guy came in and ordered a vodka martini he downed it and ordered another halfway through his third he called his wife and asked for a divorce after he hung up we talked about the red sox i'm from boston i was bartender at a country club in college and i watched a woman curse her husband out at their table because the husband kept flirting with the waitress she got really loud and walked out keep in mind this was a nice restaurant at an upscale country club the waitress felt it was all her fault but she told me the guy had been coming in there often and tipping her 100 of the bill every time i feel horrible because i'd never remember everyone who worked at mind's name but they had to always remember mine they really do flirt with you though and they would hire the prettiest girls they could find drinking at a country club was a mess they don't cut you off and you can order whatever you want i worked briefly as a waiter at a semi-nice place near me i had a couple come in for a data we've seen there a few times before i think it was their regular dating place she was very clearly sad and was talking about how her uncle was really sick and was probably going to pass away soon he decided to pull out the ring and pop the question anyway seriously dude read the room okay here's a great story that i've been wanting to share i work at a small bakery in my town i am general kitchen staff and not a waiter but i was there when this all went down it was around two in the afternoon the day had been normal but suddenly i saw the retail staff in a huddle and took my first opportunity to go see what was happening apparently a couple had come in on this summer day ordered two bowls of soup and sat down the girl that took their order went to the back and prepared their soup for them then brought it back out in the time it took for her to get the soup the woman had taken off her flip-flop put her leg across the table and the guy was going to town sucking on this lady's toes in the middle of the restaurant the waitress didn't notice until she went to place the soup on the table she stood there in shock and the couple was oblivious to her presence this guy is going all in and the lady is starting to moan by the time they realize their soup is ready the waitress was in complete shock for the rest of her shift and that couple is no longer allowed on the premises this place has even more weird stories from someone forcing open the back door to ask for a hamburger to a complete stranger coming out of the basement and acting like he's supposed to be there not to mention the time i watched a bird fly out of a hole in the ceiling kentucky can be a weird place i worked at a bar in a hotel for five years i had a table come down from their hotel room and sit at one of my pub tables for dinner from the moment they sat down you could tell the wife was furious about something she was unbelievably pleasant toward me but did not say a single word to the man at the table i get their drinks and then their orders he ordered steak and she ordered the sauciest pasta dish we had on the menu about 20 minutes later the wife still hadn't said a word to the man since they sat down their food was done and my food runner set it on the table right as i was about to walk over to see if they needed anything else i saw the woman stand up say go frick yourself john as she picked up the plate of pasta and dumped it all over his head and down into his lap then she very calmly walked out of the bar and back up to her hotel room i spent a few minutes helping the man clean up and got my manager to come handle the situation from there as it was way above my pay grade at that point later in the night the woman came back to the bar without the man and we talked for a while but turns out he admitted to cheating on her right before their dinner reservation i never saw either of them again bartender here a couple on a blind date took their seats directly across from the dishwasher so i had to pretend i couldn't hear him 40 plus balding overweight and drunk asking her 30 plus pretty friendly and level-headed listen i see you over there just amazing and gorgeous and i'm wondering what you're seeing in me what do you think she smiled cringed and made an effort to sidestep his questions and change the subjects at least three times while he ordered shots of fireball at an upscale establishment for both of them she would politely refuse and he would end up drinking both of them he didn't seem to be big on learning fireball the drink of upscale establishments and carnival cruise lines i used to work at a bar where 70 of the customers were on tinder dates there was a line of two-person booths along the wall when you first walk in there were two dudes sitting by themselves in two different booths both of them were facing the door one was in the first booth one was in the last booth this girl comes in and walks up to the first booth says hi to the guy and sits down they are chatting for about five minutes when the other guy who is sitting by himself comes up to her and says hey i'm so and so aren't you so and so they all talk for like 30 seconds and she gets up and goes and sits with the other guy at the last booth eventually a different girl shows up for a date with the guy at the first booth i don't know exactly what happened but i almost died watching it unfold she was definitely embarrassed oh man i am really bad at remembering faces walking into a restaurant for a first or second date and not being able to remember what the person looks like is such a nightmare i'm married now so i'm saved from the heck that is dating i worked fine dining in vale colorado i once saw a lady throw red wine all over a guy's shirt and leave he sat and continued eating his spaghetti plate no fricks shirts already ruined now he doesn't even have to be careful with the spaghetti a couple of friends and i went to the mexican restaurant where another friend was waiting tables there was a couple kind of catty cornered from us that had a bit of an off vibe we could see them did not really hear them so we asked our server friend what was up she said it seemed to be a first or second date that was a bit awkward the girl had ordered one of those enormous margaritas and was not sharing it i had to go make a phone call back in the pay phone days and when i came back i ended up sitting with my back to the couple maybe 10 minutes later i hear our friend the server say no no who knew and the sound of a full punch bowl being emptied from a great height giant margherita girl had stood up swayed a bit and vomited all over their meals table and the surrounding floor the restaurant calmed everyone sitting nearby and the girl's date abandoned her in the ensuing chaos bit off topic but i'm a waiter and you've just made me realize i've not had to clear up vomit in over a month thanks to the lockdown there is nothing worse than trying to get vomit out of the crevices in a chair this happened to a friend of my wife she met a guy on a dating site they agreed to meet at a strip mall parking lot and go to dinner together from there he asks if he can drive her car because it's a camaro and he's never driven one so they go together in her car to a restaurant a couple miles away dina goes okay nothing too crazy then he gets up to go to the bathroom and never comes back after 10 minutes she gets up to check on him and her car is gone he's dashed on the bill and stolen her car she pays the bill and gets an uber home and calls the police to report her car stolen turns out the guy just left it in the parking lot where they originally met and seems to think he did nothing wrong last i heard he's still being charged with auto theft i genuinely can't imagine allowing a stranger to drive my car and then leaving the keys with them the whole night i was a waiter at a very famous upscale restaurant and a gentleman approached the matron requesting someone take pictures of him proposing to his girlfriend since i was the closest butthole to the matrid i was tasked with performing this duty after stalking the table for a solid hour the moment was inevitably approaching i set up at an angle she couldn't see me and when he busted out the ring i started taking as many pictures as i could anyone who has tried to capture a once in a lifetime moment on camera knows that you're not really watching what's going on you're just trying to frame the moment after about 20 30 pictures i slowly realized that she was declining the proposal and the scene was quickly degenerating into a five alarm dumpster fire however i was far enough away that i couldn't hear what was being said and couldn't be sure of what was transpiring so i continued taking pictures just in case finally i stepped back and watched the scene unfold in reality as she stormed out of the restaurant in embarrassment and he scrambled to pay the bill and chase after her he'd requested that i use my phone and send the best pictures to him needless to say he never approached us for the pictures and i have about 100 plus pictures of a wedding proposal gone wrong somewhere deep in my icloud photo bank what a sad ending to a first date not waiter but i used to be a banquet cook for large corporate events weddings had your very typical bridazilla one weekend she ended getting hammered at the reception and slept with a groomsman in the honeymoon suite needless to say husband left her immediately at least i got a lot of compliments on my crab cakes edit since people have asked crab cakes simple good backfin crab meat don't frick with lump not worth it cake falls apart make sure it maryland blue crab or you're not an american raw eggs mustard powder juice and zest of a lemon parsley if you're fancy none if you're not i don't judge old bay seasoning can you tell where i am from yet just enough breadcrumbs and mayo to form a solid patty that's it any more ruins the cake dm me if you want more coherent instructions not a disaster but it could have been guy hires private room in the very fine dining establishment i'm working in dinner for two champagne proposal dinner gives us instructions to bring the champagne when she says yes i jump the gun and poke my head into the room holding the champagne just to check i haven't missed it guy sees me has a panic fit and throws up all over the table woman is very concerned goes over to see if he's okay he hits frickit and pulls out the ring drops to one knee and proposes with vom still on him in the table she bursts out laughing says yes and kisses him on the head get them a new table in a different room and serve the champagne mfw i hope i find love like that one day this was one of the purest things i've ever read i used to bartend at a yard house in the before times yard house is a corporate place that's basically a nicer sports bar with a ton of beer on tap with stupid giant novelty glasses i had a couple at the bar during happy hour drinking from one of the big glasses and they ordered some onion rings that were half price he jokingly proposed with an onion ring and she started laughing and jokingly said yes then he busted out an actual ring she wasn't laughing anymore guy 1 and gf are fondling each other at my bar guy 2 joins them at the bar and they quickly separate and behave the three go off into the casino but stop back for drinks a few times early am guy 2 does a shot and walks away i can tell he isn't happy he comes back and says he has a couple of hours to kill before his plane leaves we get to chatting and he tells me he just broke up with his gfa suspects she snuck up to the room and nailed his best friend when he couldn't find either of them for an hour i asked if it was guy one and gf he confirms it and i let him know he is making the right choice as they were making out at the bar before he came down he thanks me for confirming leaves a huge tip and lets me know what is happening in case there is any confusion with the hotel an hour or so later guy 1 and gf are at the bar whispering and arguing i casually ask if everything is okay they say they are locked out of their room and can't find their friend who paid for the room they tried to charge the bill to the room too but my computer showed the room was empty i told them guy 2 had been in earlier but checked out and his flight was already in the air then i watched the meltdown guy 2 had paid for his bff and gf to spend a week in vegas with him they cheated and got caught he checked out and flew home and they had nowhere to stay for the week and no money for even basic food their luggage had been packed and left in the baggage hold they did everything they could to get out of paying for their drinks as they were hella expensive left no tip and didn't have a place to sleep or even change clothing at 5am tldr don't cheat on the person paying your way if you can't pay your own way must have been pretty satisfying to leave them there freaking idiots i used to work as a hostess at a thank deity it's the weekend already guy makes a reservation at the most book table it's by the window all romantic etc also super visible from any other part of the restaurant comes in all dress happened with a suitcase strange but okay a few minutes later his date arrives they laugh flirt we actually thought it's an anniversary or he is going to propose or something the way it was going no halfway through the evening she starts screaming at him he broke up with her and actually packed her suitcase then paid and left her there sobbing at the table alone we got her a brownie on the house because just watching that we felt freaking awful this is the worst day of your life take a brownie not my story but my partner just told about this happening at his work we live in a pretty large university college and one time a guy came in with a plant for a date he sat with it at the table ordered it food drinks and dessert he was a total gentleman to the plant turns out he lost her bet with his frat brothers bartender for a couple on a tinder date they talk for about an hour he goes to the bathroom but left his jacket on the back of his chair with his wallet and keys in she stole them stole his car and went shopping that poor schmuck refused to call the cops for an hour because it was going so well i felt bad for him and this proves me right to take my wallet and keys everywhere with me frick you jessica i'm not paranoid [Music] i 22 m at the time was bus boy at a 200-seat restaurant that was part of a sporting club i'd been there for long enough to have a feel for the personalities of the customers on this particular night one of my tables was a first date the girl was lovely all smiles and very pleasant the guy was sort of normal seemed a bit quiet he put off some fairly clear signals that he would prefer to be left alone though that's okay some prefer minimal service what i did notice though was that the guy was talking to her quietly bit forcefully and almost non-stop sometimes gripping her arm firmly in a way that suggested that she wouldn't be able to pull away easily i couldn't hear a word that was said but the lady was looking more and more terrified all the time like nearly about to wet herself terrified a complete change from her pleasant nature when they had walked in i told the waitress on the adjacent section that i wasn't sure about what was going on and asked if she wouldn't mind checking on the table to let me know her thoughts waitress went to the table said a few quick words and came back to me out of earshot she said yeah i think we have to get her out of here we let the manager s know what was going on the guy had booked his table good we had his name outside at the taxi rank by some miracle there was a female cabbie in the line i ignored the protests of the other drivers i hopped in and told the cabbie the situation and offered her twenty dollars to wait around the back of the restaurant i said please don't wait for a destination just drive something's really wrong with her date the cabbie didn't need the 20 bucks we had a front desk call the guy over the pa for an urgent call this would delay him while they tried to figure what the call was and then realizing that he had actually won a meet tray they were raffled off at various intervals through the night just wait here while we fetch it for you as soon as creepy guy was out of sight i asked his date if she needed to get out of here she just trembled nodded figuring that she probably wasn't in the mood to trust a male at that point my waitress friend escorted her though the kitchen and out to the waiting cab where she slipped away quick as you please the guy came back to an empty table and staff seeming to be oblivious to where his lady friend had gone we didn't get much of the story other than that the lady was set up on a blind date by a mutual friend who told her that this guy was okay way to go team good on all of you for intervening i kept my interaction with the table brief but i'll never forget the time i had a couple come in and as i was setting down the entree the lady looked at her man stone cold pointed to his phone and said so who this hoe you been texting me of course neither being the whole nor texter in question may definite haste away from that conversation i do remember her asking to split the bill at the register though couples fight in restaurants a lot that or maybe they argue everywhere i couldn't say i worked as a waiter for years and i could not begin to count the number of arguments i saw but one guy comes to mind above all of them this guy must have been 50 60 years old and got angry with his lady he actually threw a snit and stomped off and was wandering around the restaurant and looking back at her and scowling it was like a child throwing a temper tantrum but most children aren't even this dramatic usually it was nauseating to watch not a waiter but i saw a first date next to me in short girl states she has an allergy to pineapple guy says okay and i don't believe you kinda way at some point he scraped some pineapple glaze off his dessert and onto her spoon when she popped outside to make a call she comes back and eats without noticing too much has a severe reaction guy freaks out and tries to run but gets stopped by my girlfriend who is suspicious of him manager administers the girl's epipen and ambulance and police are called absolute [ __ ] situation i watched a proposal in the dining room of the hotel i worked at everyone was eagerly awaiting the dessert and ring box to be brought out she saw the box and just started saying no no no no and told the crushed groom we need to talk people who initially were clapping just slowed to a dead silence she ended up going back to the room collecting her things and leaving while he cried at the table for a few minutes it was super depressing for all the staff guests and that poor guy and this is why you shouldn't propose unless you already know the person will say yes don't assume they will have an adult conversation about future and ask after they have made it clear they will not be telling you no i remember serving one night and this strange guy came in to sit at the bar he was a little disheveled with an unkempt beard he had trouble speaking and he just generally seemed like someone you might imagine had difficulty socially or with dating he had brought a bag in with him and after he sat down he pulled out a picture of a woman he stood the picture up on the counter in front of the chair beside him and he ordered two drinks and his meal one drink was for the woman and it ended up going untouched a lot of my co-workers saw it and laughed about it in the kitchen they thought it was the most pathetic thing they'd ever witnessed i thought something was a little off about the scene though or that there was more to it than my co-workers were giving it credit for he didn't strike me as a desperate loner there was an air of sadness around him but not because he was pathetic it felt more like grief i talked to the bartender about it later who actually knew the man apparently his wife had just passed and this restaurant was where they went on their first date together years ago his wife was the woman in the photo and he came into the restaurant to share one last drink with her incredible what a story what a beautiful painful thing to witness and what the sweet gesture of the husband to connect with his wife aww this got me i was a waiter at a pretty high-end hotel restaurant it was about 3 p.m and i was the only one on the floor as it was normally very slow at the time there was only one party seated and it was a middle-aged man and woman you could tell they weren't married i went over and asked if they wanted anything to drink and they both got mimosas i think i went back with their drinks and asked if they were also planning on ordering food they said yes but that they're in no russian will let me know when they were ready to order about 15 minutes goes by when this man shows up at the front desk starts looking around yells i freaking knew i t you b and starts walking towards the couple sitting down the woman stands up and the guy remained seated it became clear that the woman was having an affair with another man and the husband came in to confront them he grabbed her hand and walked her out but not before telling the man to stay the frick away from my wife the man remains seated at the table turns to me and waves me over i go over and he says in a perfectly calm tone cobb salad please not a waiter but once witnessed a woman ghost her date at the end of the night it was a fancy jazz club and the couple racked up what i assume was at least a 500 bill there was a ton of wine and they went through a few expensive entrees when it came time to pay the woman snuck out while the man was in the bathroom and just disappeared the dude was distraught i'm a waitress in my father's restaurant it's not that big but we're usually full during weekends a lot of couple come here cause it's kinda chic for a french restaurant anyway once there was a couple early thirties the dude arrived earlier than the girl so i though it was something like a date but e number the girl ordered everything she chose all the dishes the dessert and even the wine without even asking the guy what he would like to have they both didn't talk only said good evening weird for a date but when i came at their table to serve the wine they started to argue about their relationship the dude was convinced that she cheated on him and you know what she admitted that and said very loud that he was bad in bed at this moment any single cell in my body was cringing they kept arguing for 10 minutes until i decided to stop them because they were almost yelling and so disturbing the 15 people in the restaurant the woman asked if she could have another bottle of wine and she left within five minutes with the bottle i felt so bad for this guy that i gifted him his whiskey coker geez poor guy i once had a couple that i didn't realize was a couple and once they were done with their meal i asked if they would like separate checks because i honestly thought the woman was a man's mother and they looked at me with confused offended expressions and replied with um one check please they are now regulars who come in almost every week and despise me if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Internet Is Fun Studios

Views: 277,956

Keywords: dating stories, horror dating stories, dating fails, dating fails compilation, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, emkay, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, askreddit school, r/askreddit how to

Id: tXi3Ol4F1QM

Length: 121min 49sec (7309 seconds)

Published: Sat May 29 2021