15 RULES of NEGOTIATION

hello elixers and welcome back to a special sunday motivational video which you're gonna love because you'll get to test run the information immediately in both your personal and professional life as we're taking a look at the rules of negotiation welcome to alex.com the place where future billionaires come to get inspired if you're not subscribed yet you're missing out every interaction you have is more or less a negotiation for a desired outcome from asking your crush out on a date to signing a multi-million dollar client it all boils down to your skill set fundamentally you can negotiate anything if you know the following three steps one exactly what you want two how little you're willing to accept and three what you'll do if the deal doesn't work out everything else we'll be discussing is just here to support these three things and give you the biggest edge you can get with that said here are the 15 most valuable negotiation skills and tactics number one figure out what you really want or you're going to lose you would not believe just how many people get into negotiable situations without having a clear understanding of what they really want and having a way to put it into clear words here's a very common situation oh you want to earn more per month sure here's 20 more work for you to do and will increase your pay 20 we've just given you what you asked for but that wasn't what you wanted was it you see there's another important rule in life that goes like this you don't get what you want in life you get what you're willing to negotiate and for you to negotiate effectively you need to have a clear understanding of what you want specifically and what you're willing to exchange in order to get it number two negotiate everything we personally negotiate everything and you'll find out that most rich people do the same there's never a circumstance where the rich won't try to get a better deal because historically they've always been offered one when they've asked for it another big rule is if you don't ask you don't get starting today everywhere you go ask for a better deal without doing anything you're likely to get a five to ten percent discount just because you asked for it which otherwise you would have spent out of pocket we negotiate cars jewelry business deals terms even in everyday shops we get big discounts in both luxury stores and commercial ones like zara just because we're willing to pay cash as a pro tip always ask the person who's able to make this kind of decision what can you do to get me a better deal or if you're talking to a clerk have them reach out to the person who's able to make those kinds of calls and get back to you number three the one who prepares more wins by this point we expect you to have made an effort and figure out what you want from an upcoming negotiation so it's time to go a step further ask yourself the following questions who are you going to negotiate with is this the person who's able to make the kind of decision you're looking for another pro tip the boss will always be more flexible than middle management what is this person like what are their values what do they look for in a partner what is most important to them what do they expect to get out of this negotiation what is negotiable and what isn't what is there for them to lose if this doesn't work out and how can you come up with a creative way to get both of you what you want now there's an old war strategy that comes into play in everyday life all the time the tale goes like this when two generals go to war both of them are trying to simulate what the other general will do on the battlefield the one who's closer to the truth wins this is why preparation is so important here's something important every one of you should know if you realize you're not adequately prepared to negotiate it's okay to reschedule and walk away the worst thing you can do is to go to war without being properly prepared you'll just end up getting slaughtered number four mirroring works until it gets creepy we know you guys are interested in secret techniques and tactics so this one's actually pretty efficient all negotiation is is listening to the other side and building enough trust so you can move forward in the relationship be it personal or professional this technique focuses on starting your sentences the same way the other person finishes theirs in order to build a rapport make sure to use the keywords that they used in their speech this is commonly known as mirroring and people have been using it in both verbal and non-verbal communication begin your sentence with the last three words they used and then add what you're going to add afterward all mirroring does is signal to the other person that you two are very much alike and will get along great it's not rocket science that people are more likely to engage with those they find similar in nature here's a pro tip we really want you to know do not overuse specific techniques people pick up when you're doing something on purpose and it's a major red flag just because you once read in a book you should look a person in the eye when talking to them it's more than okay actually you must avert your gaze away in the span of a 20-minute conversation if you don't want to come across as a weirdo our advice is for you to practice these techniques until they become involuntary and natural number five tactical empathy is your most valuable tool tactical empathy is one of those things that have changed the way negotiations are being done in the modern world it all boils down to making your partner feel safe in control and build the feeling of good faith between you two effective negotiation rests on building at least the perception of mutual gains there are specific strategies and skills you can deploy in order to get the best outcome you can get here's a list of the most important ones 1. demonstrate that you're negotiating in good faith you're not looking to screw them over 2. be genuinely interested in what drives the other side if you know what they're willing to achieve you can tailor your offering to their liking three don't suppress emotion use them to keep the ball rolling four deactivate negative feelings and magnify the positive ones this slowly builds trust and will get you to where you need to go 5. look for tells people will signal what they really want even if they don't verbalize it we've learned a lot about negotiation through practice but these types of specific skills you can only find with professionals who've been doing this their entire lives the ultimate book on this topic is called never split the difference and it's written by a former fbi hostage negotiator in our opinion it is hands down the one you should get if you're looking to improve even better if you go to alux.com freebook right now and sign up you can get the audiobook version of never split the difference for free thanks to our partnership with audible we'll also leave a link to it in the description number six smart people search for smart trade-offs always look for smart trade-offs no matter what you do in life here's what we mean when we say a smart trade-off there are some cases where very little effort on your behalf could make the entire difference for someone else on a personal level calling your parents or your grandparents illustrates it perfectly it'll require 10 minutes of your time and it'll make their day low effort leads to big outcomes you can find these opportunities in business as well if you know where to look one phone call or recommendation of someone you've worked with in the past can solve a really expensive problem for the person you're interested in doing business with and this will carry a lot of weight in your relationship number seven make at least two offers at the same time and have them pick between them this is an interesting approach that helps you figure out what is the best way to approach the situation in order to get what you want out of it structure the deal in two different ways and have the other person pick one this will signal to you what they value more and what is the right way to win them over once they pick you'll have control over the situation despite allowing them to be the ones calling the shots a very important thing to note is if you have the power in a negotiation do not talk about it keep your mouth shut and play the game until the end number eight when negotiating with people you care about reputation trumps an ultimate win this takes a level of maturity to pull off sometimes winning is too expensive this happens in marriages all the time would you rather not talk to your wife for a week just to prove you were right probably not you're stupidly winning the round but losing the game when it comes to the reputation play let's say you're dealing with someone you care about you're doing business with a friend or relative although you might have all the cards and could easily dry them out your reputation becomes more valuable than the extent of the win you're probably going to win anyway you might as well win respectably this builds good will in your life and goodwill is important people will recommend you because of it and the long-term returns are greater than the short-term win number nine never let emotions block you from getting what you need sometimes you won't like the person you're negotiating with on a personal level but you find yourself at the end of the table because you need something people are all different we all grow up in different places have different upbringings different levels of education and ethics knowing how to navigate the sea of personalities is one of the most valuable skills you can have in your arsenal there's a fine line between tolerating and deciding to walk away we've learned this line tends to move depending on how badly you need the result to go your way ideally emotions wouldn't be viable in negotiation facts would trump everything numbers would do the talking and deals would close without a word spoken but that's not how it is emotions not logic usually determine the outcome of a negotiation so you need to master yours and then learn to read and change your approach according to what the other side is feeling number 10 get to that's right as quickly as possible that's right is a magical phrase in negotiation it means that both parties are in agreement and that's how successful negotiations are conducted the more one side agrees with the other the more in line their objectives are the more likely the deal is to close too many people get into negotiations not thinking about the other side or what their goals are decisions come from a part of the brain that's usually left unguarded that's the same spot agreement is as well that's why you know deep down if you're going to say yes or no to a proposal it's from within the more you can get someone to agree with you the more that pattern of behavior will show itself in the negotiation in goal mastery we show you step by step how to get a pay raise or negotiate with other people on how to always get what you want believe it or not we give you the exact words and what to say and we can't wait for you to try it out and put it to good use next year for those interested we are currently in post-production and we're estimating the launch to be in the first quarter of 2021 if you're not on the waiting list go to alux.com goals and be sure to leave your email there to be notified as soon as it goes live number 11. the u-cut ipic method this is one of our all-time favorite ways to settle disputes it works from high-end business deals to children in your own household to explain it simply it goes like this let's say you have two children who are fighting over a piece of cake they're both fighting over it and don't know how to share it so the other one doesn't get more cake than they do the u-cut eye pick rule has one of the kids cut the cake in half and the other gets to pick which side they want this way both parties have control over the outcome ideally the first kid will slice the cake perfectly in the middle because if they try to do anything shady then they'll lose more of their piece when the other person gets to pick so use it wisely number 12 negotiation is a mix between sales and therapy some people never listen some people never ask in order to be successful negotiator you need to understand both and know when to use each there's a time for selling and there's a time for listening and it just so happens that the more you listen the more you understand when it's the right time to sell why do people go to therapy they already know what's happening inside their minds they're just trying to make sense of it that's what happens in a negotiation you enter a negotiation trying to figure out how to make it work and get what you want that's what both parties want you've met to solve a problem and the solution can benefit both parties anything else and it isn't a negotiation it's a hostile takeover same as in therapy asking why do you want something is often times more valuable than asking what do you want understanding the reasoning behind their decision will lead to creative solutions where other things get put on the table that you didn't even consider when it comes to selling we have a great video titled how to sell anything that's five minutes long and you can check it out by clicking in the top right corner number 13 never share your reserve point the reserve point is the lowest option you'd still consider taking all of your strength lies in keeping the negotiation as far away from your reserve point as possible never let people know the minimum you're willing to take the more you think about negotiation the more you understand that it's simply a game between two parties that try to guess each other's reserve point if you can guess the other party's reserve point you win number 14 never give anything without getting something in return the worst thing you can do in a negotiation is give away anything for free unless you're feeling charitable this is also true in life too many employees pick up additional work without asking for anything in return that's how you end up working so damn much and paid so little there's an old saying you scratch my back i'll scratch yours that one should always remember when going out of their way to make something happen for someone else this is probably the only place where the rule of equivalent exchange mentioned in full metal alchemist applies to real life in order to get something you have to give something in return number 15 always have a backup plan the worst thing you can do entering in a negotiation is not having a backup plan if you don't have a backup all you're doing is bluffing it takes away a very powerful tool your option of walking away the backup plan even has a specific terminology in negotiation it's called batna batna stands for best alternative to a negotiated agreement this is the type of info they used to teach us at business school by the way we never use the terminology since but there is some truth to it how good is your alternative what kind of differentiator are we talking about quality price time to deliver you need to consider all of these think of it like this if you go and ask for a raise knowing you have another job lined up at a different company if your boss says no how does your approach differ would you feel in control and powerful enough to stand your ground sure you would batna is all about acquiring as much control on your side as possible which brings us to today's question what's the one thing you wish to negotiate in the near future we are always excited to hear from the community and we are always blown away by the support ua luxers show to one another in the comments as for those of you watching until the end here's one of our mantras that served us well throughout our lives your bonus reality is negotiable those of you who've been aluxers for a long time might remember this because it's something we 100 believe in there are some things outside of your control like the place you're born in who your parents are but your reality isn't one of them your reality is yours you are living and crafting it based on what you expect it to be and what you're willing to give in return when we first realized you can quite literally negotiate with reality our entire life view changed you can ask reality for anything and it will require specific things in return those specific things require effort but since you're already at the negotiation table you know they're worth it for you want a big house life is willing to give it to you in exchange for x amount of effort want a lovely family this is what you need to trade for it that's what people mean when they say life is endless in possibility you can quite literally negotiate almost every aspect of your life if you're willing to make the trade you can rid yourself of everything you don't like or don't want in life but most people don't want to trade good negotiations take time effort and resources big deals don't get closed in minutes or days it takes big companies sometimes years to figure out how to make a deal and if you're sitting there expecting life to give you everything you've ever wanted the next morning of course it won't take this moment in time to think about your reality and what can be negotiated want a better job negotiate for it want more time with your kids negotiate for it for anything you want there's someone you can negotiate with we can't wait to hear what you do with these lessons and what you'll negotiate for yourself alexers it's been an honor having you here with us today and we're thankful to every one of you that made it this far in the video just so we can know your name please write r-i-n in the comments which stands for reality is negotiable that way we know our message got across to the right people thanks for watching alexers remember to subscribe for more great content and we always appreciate your thumbs up

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Views: 147,497

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Keywords: Alux, Alux.com, Alux Youtube, fine living, negotiation, negotiation skills, negotiation tactics, negotiation techniques, win negotiation, negotiator, negotiate a deal, negotiation book, win a negotiation, negotiation secrets, negotiation strategies, rules of negotiation, alux negotiation, best negotiation videos

Id: I_s9jhe59VY

Length: 19min 1sec (1141 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 22 2020