You've got a job offer and now you have a
choice negotiate or not. If you decide not to, and your buddy who got the same offer negotiates and gets a
$7,000.00 increase. By the end of 30 years, your buddy will be
making $100,000.00 more a year than you. [MUSIC] Think about that. [MUSIC] My husband is a trained chef. Do you know that chef's don't have recipes
for all those sauces. They know the structure of the sauce, and
so regardless of the ingredients that they have, they can
make a great sauce. And that's what I want for you. I'm not going to give you a recipe for a
particular negotiation. Rather, what I want to do is give you the
structure of a negotiation, so that you can be
successful, regardless of what you face. I want to propose a new way of thinking
about negotiation, and what you're trying to
achieve in that negotiation. And, then what I want to do is give you
four steps to help you be more effective in
getting what you want. Folks typically see negotiation as an
adversarial process, and are uncomfortable because
they're concerned that other folks will think of them as too demanding, too greedy, not nice, or
socially awkward. What I wanna do today is get you to change the frame of how you think about
negotiation. Moving it from an adversarial process to
one that is problem solving. And, problem solving is collaborative. I wanna solve our problem in a way that's
good for you, but also gives me more of what it is
I want. [MUSIC] When we negotiate most of us view the goal
of a negotiation as to get an agreement. This is wrong. The goal of a negotiation is not to get a
deal. The goal of a negotiation is to get a good
deal. We need to be able to separate what a good
deal is from what a bad deal is. So, that means we need at least 3 pieces
of information. The first thing we need to know is, what
is our alternative? What happens to us if this negotiation
fails? What are we left with? What's the status quo, or what
alternatives exist for us? And, the research is very clear. He or she with a better alternative does
better. Secondly, we need to know what our
reservation price is. What's the point at wich we are indifferent between saying yes, and
invoking our alternative. And when you negotiate, it's critical that
you understand where that reservation price
is, because that's that point at which you are indifferent,
where a no looks as good as a yes. And the third point, which is really
important, and one that people often overlook, is that
not only do we have to think about our alternative,
and our reservation price, we also need to think
about our aspiration. What is an optimistic assessment of what
it is we can achieve in this negotiation? [MUSIC] So how do you get more of what you want? Let me suggest that four steps will help
you. The first step is to assess the situation. Is this a situation where I can have
influence on the outcome? To change that outcome in a way that makes
me better off? And, I need to weigh the potential
benefits from negotiating with the potential costs
for negotiating. And, will the benefits outweigh the costs? The second step is, I need to prepare. And, they're really two aspects of this
step. Number one, I need to understand what my
interests are. What I'm really trying to achieve in this
negotiation. And, the second part is I need to understand the interests and preferences
of my counterpart. Many of us may understand what our
interests are, but few of us actually understand at a deep level what the preferences and interests are of our
counterparts. Third, now comes the ask. Engage with your counterpart. Look at these disputed, social situations
as opportunities to negotiate. You have information that your
counterparts don't have. And, this is what you bring to the table. If they knew all your information, if they knew your perspective, they don't
need you. Because you have unique information, and
because they have unique information, that's where the
value is created. Fourth, you need to package. Now what do I mean by that? Most of us when we negotiate, negotiate
issue by issue. This is a really bad strategy, because
when you negotiate issue by issue, every issue
is adversarial. You either win or lose. When you're packaging issues you now have
the opportunity to trade among the issues. So, think about proposing solutions. Alternative solutions to your counter
part, in packages. And, to help you out, because your counter
part will probably want to negotiate issue by issue, think
about using if then language. If I give you this, then I get that. What you're doing is you're yoking various
issues together into a package. To get more of what you want there are
four steps. Assess, prepare, ask, package. To give you an example, my dean recently
sent me an email indicating that I would have to be going from five courses a
year to six courses a year. Because he had received information from
the Provost that we needed to be consistent in the amount of contact
hours, and course credit. I was not happy about that email. So, my response was, I think I need to
talk to my dean. Let's negotiate. But, before I started a negotiation, I
thought hard about, why was he doing this? What was in his interest? His interest was probably, to make sure
the provost was happy. What was my interest? Not to move from five classes to six
classes. And it turns out I teach two different
types of classes. MBA electives, and then some specialty
classes. There are lots of folks who teach MBA
electives. There are very few folks who teach
specialty classes. So, I thought I should focus on the
specialty classes. So, then I went for the ask. I set up a meeting, and part of that
meeting was to verify the information that I had
gathered in my planning session. And, it did turn out to be true. He was interested in making the provost
happy, so then came the proposal that packaged
our interests. He said he wanted consistency between
contact hours and credit. So, what he did is he changed the credit
to match the contact hours. I suggested, why not change the contact
hours to match the credit? Because it turns out that in my courses, in my specialty courses, we always went
over. So, while they were three hours, it was
common that we would go for 3 and a half to 4 hours. So, let's make 'em 4 hour courses. And, keep me at 5 rather than move me to
6. He said to me, I never even thought of
that, and why didn't he? It wasn't that weird. Because he didn't have the information
that I had, that my classes routinely ran over. And, so when I gave him that information,
it created a solution that made him as well off as he was, and made me a
whole lot better. By the way, I was the only faculty member
to get an exception. And, why did I get an exception, because
everybody else had the same email? For two reasons. One, I decided to negotiate. And, number two, I provided him with a
solution that made us both better off. [MUSIC] So, what are the unique opportunities and challenges that women face when they
negotiate? Let's start off with an example that's
pretty far away from what most of us think about as
negotiations. In 2006, the U.S. Tennis Open's Grand Slam
Tournament got some new technology. And, for the first time, they were able to
replay the calls. And, so they allowed the players to
challenge the calls of the referees. Now it turns out, that over the course of
the entire tournament, about one third of the challenged calls
were given to the player. But, interestingly, if you divided up the
number of challenges by gender, it turns out the men challenged 73 calls,
while the women challenged 28. Now, we can come up with all sorts of stories about why men's tennis is
different from women's tennis. Men's tennis is faster. Maybe the judges make more mistakes. Maybe the judges are paying more attention
to the women. Maybe. But, three times difference in the number
of challenges? Women are simply uncomfortable with
asking. Expectations drive behavior. If we expect to do poorly, we will behave
in ways that ensure a poor performance. This was demonstrated in a piece of
research that I think is very telling. When women were told that people who are
like them negotiate poorly, they did significantly worse in their negotiation
performance than their male colleagues. When they were told that people like them
negotiate well, they did significantly better than
their male colleagues. Expectations drive behavior. If you change your expectations, you will
change your outcomes. As women, we need to be very cognizant of
three aspects of negotiation. Why am I asking? How am I asking? And, for whom am I asking? Let's first talk about why you are asking. It turns out that women are much more
effective in negotiations when they pair their
competence with a communal orientation. Women need to demonstrate their concern
for the other. So, how are my skills help you, the organization, my employer, my team, to do
better? So, let me give you an example. A colleague of mine had gotten a wonderful
job offer from an east coast university. So, she came to me and said, can you help
me figure out how to leverage this offer? I really don't wanna move. I said, no problem. [LAUGH] We can do this. So, I said, make an appointment with the
Dean, and take the offer with you. Be very clear. Dean, we have a problem. I love Stanford, but I just received this
offer, and it's an attractive offer. I need some help. Can you help me figure out how to stay
here? She wasn't making a demand. She wasn't giving an ultimatum. She was saying, can you help me? Communal problem solving. How are you asking? Male evaluators penalize female
negotiators in a single issue distributive negotiation when I ask
for more money. In ways that they do not penalize her male
counterparts. Female evaluators penalize both males and
females for asking for more. Why the women were penalized? Was because they were perceived as being
too demanding and not nice. Now note I said a single issue. They were negotiating issue by issue. So, how can I help you with this pool of
resources that I need to do my job more effectively to make you better
off, and packaging? Communal packaging. Next, for whom are you asking? It turns out, that if we distill the research and negotiation, we have two big
findings. Number One. You're better off negotiating for yourself
if you're a man. Number Two. If you're negotiating for me, I am much
better off if you are a woman. Women outperform men in representational negotiations between fourteen and
twenty-three percent. This is huge. So, I use this all the time. When I negotiate, I don't negotiate for
myself. I negotiate for my husband, my four dogs,
my seven horses, and my fourteen chickens. That's a lot of mouths to feed, and it
works. [MUSIC] >> A client came to me asking for one of
our top consultants who was busy working on
another project full time. So, I wanted to staff it with a different
consultant. But, the consultant that the client wanted
really wanted that project as well. So, she came up with the idea, what if we
hired a junior consultant to work underneath her, and give her the
opportunity to work on both projects with that
leverage. It worked for the client, it made the consultant really happy, and it really
solved my problem. >> Before coming to business school, for
me, negotiation was about preparing to beat a price, or aim for a
higher number. Now I realize that preparation, for a
negotiation, is much more than that. It's about identifying the issues that are
important to me. But also, the issues that are important to the other parties that I'm interacting
with. And, I think that allows us to be much more creative and actually solve the
problem. >> One of the most important things you
can do in preparing for your compensation negotiation, is do your
research and find out your market value. Sometime people will go to web sites and
enter in their, current field and title in order to find out what
their salary range is. But, I find that those websites aren't all that accurate, and they often compile an
average salary. It's safe to assume that if you perform
strongly and you're asking for a raise, you're
above average. One of the other things that you can do is
to survey a membership group or an association, either online or
offline, and ask those members what their salary range
is. You can do so anonymously if that feels
more comfortable to you. >> I worked for a Fortune 50 company. I got the promotion of my dreams. Best day of my life. Went out to dinner with a mentor that
night to celebrate. Learned that I was getting paid substantially less than my six male
counterparts. He said, you have gotta go back in there
and renegotiate. Had a lot of fear that I might lose that
job, but I did. Showed up the next morning and I
renegotiated. The concern of my boss was, I was younger and had far less experience than all of my
counterparts. Yet, I pointed out to him that his
expectation of me was that I would make the same goals as my six counter parts for equally as large
accounts. We discussed it and he agreed, and at the
end of the day, I got the raise that i really
deserved. >> When you're considering negotiating,
you need to be very honest with yourself. How much are you willing to pay to avoid
the discomfort of negotiating? And, if you decide that you're going to
negotiate, you need to be strategic in how you ask. And, finally, negotiation is an
interdependent process. Every bad deal you have gotten, you've
agreed to. So, you need to have the capacity to say
no, and sometimes when you say no, the other side comes back and says,
don't go, let's talk. How about this? Is it good for you? But, you'll never know that unless you're
willing to walk away. >> Recently I had a client enter a negotiation where the terms really didn't
work for me, and so I told them, it's just not economically rational for me to take
the deal. And, it kept it objective, and not
personal, which really worked for me, and allowed me to walk away from the deal
but keep the door open. >> When I got my first job, I didn't even
negotiate for salary. I had no idea how to set a goal. I had no idea how to make the ask. Now it's a little bit different. I understand how to set an aspirational
goal, and in that preparation, I get to the point where I understand how it benefits all the different parties that
are involved. >> But, you really do have to understand
how you feel in order to understand what it is
that you want. Because, if you don't know what you want,
you can't negotiate for it. >> Earlier in my career, I realized that
the types of projects I was going to get to work on,
and the people I was going to get to work with would be invaluable experience for me to
gain for later on. So, when I received a promotion, I took
that time not to just negotiate my cash
compensation, but my total package. In this way, I was able to ensure that I
was able to focus on a particular industry and also get to work with team
members who I knew would invest in my own
development. >> When I was hiring people it struck me
that men negotiated quite frequently. And, women were not negotiating. And, when they did negotiate, women would
have a number in their mind of what they wanted, but they wouldn't be
able to back into how they got that. They didn't explain to me that they did a
competitive assessment. They didn't tie it to the results and
goals that I was hiring them for and why, based on their experience, they were a perfect
fit and they were going to meet those goals for
me. And therefore, they wanted a package that
would include X. They needed to come in prepared, and just
persuade me that they could meet my needs. >> I've been on both sides of the
negotiation. First, running compensation for a large
organization, and now as I place people in jobs and where I've
seen women be most successful is, when they
frame their ask in terms of how it reaches the
business goals. So, go ask. Just always keep in mind how does it help
the company as well. >> What I've noticed before is candidates
negotiate their compensation package is, that sometimes the negotiation process can
get so heated, and both parties can get so focused on what they're looking
to get out of it, that the candidate's enthusiasm and
hunger for the job can get lost. Therefore, remember when you enter this
process that you want your future employer and your boss to
know that you're not only excited about the
opportunity, but you're hungry to get in there and start
the job. >> Let's start with baby steps. Don't start off with an negotiation where
there's a big relationship risk. Rather, start a negotiation where the relationship is possibly not even
important. Where there's less risk to you to
experiment, to try. Now, let me give you an example. Think about going to a department store. And, I don't know about you, but I am a
shoe-aholic. I love shoes. Unfortunately, with my job, I spend a lot
of time in boring black pumps. But, sometimes when I go to shoe sales,
there are shoes that sing to me. You can't wear 'em you can't even walk
very far in 'em but when you put 'em on you're like, I
am good. So, I go to this department store. It's the sale. They have a sale like once every six
months. I'm there when the store opens, and I find
the boring pairs of black pumps that I'm gonna
have to buy. And, then there's a shoe that, from the
rack, was singing to me. And I found them, and they were in my
size. It was great. I was so excited. But, then I looked at the price and was
like, these were really expensive shoes. And, they hadn't discounted them very much
for the sale. And, I said to the guy, I said I'm going
to buy the shoes here. These are beautiful. I want them, but they're too expensive. Can you help me? And he said, no problem ma'am. Here's what you do. Buy all four pairs, but don't wear these
shoes. And, then bring them back, in a week, you
return them, we discount them 50% and then you can come
and buy them back immediately. And I said, it's an hour and a half each
way from my home to the store. It's not gonna happen. Have you got any other options? And, he said, let me go talk to my
manager. But, when he came back he said, we'll take
$75.00 off those shoes for you. And I said, that works. Thank you. Now, here's your assignment. Go to your favorite department store. Find something you want, and then
negotiate for it. Figure out how to solve the problem. Here's what I want. It's too expensive for me, and ask for
help. Initiate the negotiation. Not all of you will be successful every
time, but you will be surprised at how often you
are. >> When I first learned about this
research, it helped me understand why women
sometimes don't ask. There is a social risk. Women are judged differently. And, with Maggie's work, it gives us tools
to negotiate successfully and in a way that
works for everyone. >> Malcolm Gladwell suggests you need
10,000 hours of practice to become expert in
anything. Negotiation is the same way. You need to practice, but you need to
learn from what you experience. You need to see social situations as an
opportunity to create value, so that you and your counterparts can get
more of what you want. [MUSIC]
