100% Blind Reaction To The Emperor's TTS (Warhammer 40k)

if the emperor had a text to speech device episode 1 your boy has been thoroughly absorbing every bit of lore he can and recently my big lore Deep dive jumped into the world of Warhammer 40K so now that I know all about the emperor a totalitarian authoritarian fascist xenophobic monster which apparently now has women in his army because he's inclusive has this whole series on YouTube on if the emperor had a TTS people have been begging me to watch this for a long time and I had no idea what the emperor was or 40K so baby we are in this let's see what we got let's watch the first couple episodes together uh this is the blind reaction to this people tell me it's amazing let's see what we got all right all right we got the emperor probably I really do hope this works okay is everything prepared the text to speech divid an implemented custodian oh my God what what is even going on it appears to be functioning properly all right there's no way a text to speech devic is going to be that crazy like your feble FL most Excellence what our glorious Emperor will be capable of conversing of his Lal subjects once more oh that's right because in the the 40K lore the emperor basically got half killed by the Horus heresy and was hooked up to a machine where he could barely he can't even speak speak anymore he's just kind of powering the planet and uh right right see I know my lore I know my 40K lore and I shall be the first to speak with you oh no I could just take off my no okay bro just literally coming at the thought of hearing this oh my God what is going on no calm down I restrained myself from Millenia I will not let this legendary moment be red St you PR okay all right skulls for this skull Throne bro they made the emperor Steven Hawking no well my Divine Lord to impl a text speech device to your glorious Golden Throne oh God please Lord speak to us oh no no this is going to be so cursed isn't it [ __ ] time at oh God I'm a glorious Lord command us once again I'm surprised he didn't say ducking so many things to complain about bro has been literally stuck there for 10,000 years as as a [ __ ] husk first of all why do I only have a [ __ ] glass eye on one of my eyes is that really necessary BR real no they made him sand and what is with these Ultra SMS that I keep hearing about oh um wait are you referring to the ultramarines oh my Lord they are some of your greatest warriors well that certainly [ __ ] explains it it seems like their baby blue heraldry have earned them a most righteous nickname for that matter I always thought they look terrible do they still have bad [ __ ] toilet seat is their Insignia brother yes they no the toilet seat Insignia anything but that D they keep it toon that Prim oh well all right then I always thought he was the greatest of my 20 Primark Sons oh [ __ ] he's just he's just picking his favorite son right now well that's excellent the greatest little derivative pile of blueberry pudding pop [ __ ] that has ever glazed the surface of this shitty little Galaxy bro did he just call his son pile of blueberry pudding pop he called his son a blueberry pudding pop [ __ ] no is he still alive wait who is he still alive right he was almost killed that's suar cut his life supports and tell that stupid [ __ ] Smurf Village to [ __ ] right off that Conant uninterrupted chatting is drilling into my skull as if they were the immensely sanctimonious loved child of timus and the Jackhammer bro he's just going crazy dude just going mad brosman he wanted to say so so many things over the last 10,000 years what the pain of a million ripped out nose hairs are but a tender massage compared to this torture bro this dude he's been alive and conscious for all the drilling well I'll see what I can do damn but at least we still have oury great let go never created anything called rain kns my Lord they are the greatest of purgy demons in the Imperium they're all psychers and they come up with the most glorious way of killing the enemies of man that's pretty good men are men men [ __ ] love killing the enemies of man that's huge night oh greetings my glorious Emperor oh my God this dude it is an honor myself what the [ __ ] [ __ ] is that stupid ass thing the bro no they were doing everything for this man they were doing everything for him for the last 10,000 years in his absence and he's just sitting here like what did you do to my men what did you do to my people oh my God night that is the worst thing that I have ever [ __ ] seen ever if I still had eyes I would require someone to deposit prometheum infused floor cleaner into them what terrible this dude is like the king of roast terrible person designed as the arcade technology of this marvelous machine was discovered by the GRE kns and is held secretly from all inferior chapters the GU just spazing out design I believe to be personally designed by Grand Master of knights himself C Dr he is the mightiest of the great Knights he is currently stuck in the warp killing demons daily paging demonic Villages and vandalizing the Chaos's property like some kind of Glorious oh hell yeah doing pretty awesome things in the name of humanity a name on a demon heart a demon Primark I didn't even know there were demon primar For the Love of All stop signs in the Galaxy sees and [ __ ] desist what in the [ __ ] that is actually very cute look at its little legs and oversized oh little body little legs adorable come to Pap you what wait no yes this is funny toy well I okay I do not know about you but I feel this is the start of something absolutely glorious shut your face you [ __ ] banana yes no what was that oh my God everyone in my chat is like literally cheering on I have no idea what's going on bro what did I just see okay episode two dude I am so lost so let me get this straight it has been 10,000 years since my angsty [ __ ] of a son oros made me a parab and put on this Throne correct my if you remember the survive for 10,000 years without if you remember in the Lord deak dive this guy's son Horus absolute [ __ ] [ __ ] he he went crazy he rebelled he got Twisted by the minds of chaos gods and this man jumped in started a whole ass Rebellion stabbed his father with a magic god blade thing and basically quasi killed him even though he's an immortal now even though he's technically immortal and if he would die he would be reborn they instead put him on life support which caused him to live longer which made him suffer more they could have just let him die and he would be reborn but no they kept him on life support half alive which is literally the worst thing that could have done to him for 10,000 years until the present day well my Lord yeah bro how did you do dude cuz if you remember last time these guys were left alone the freaking uh what was it called the the Dark Age of Technology happened and the a i overlords took over and literally almost wiped out Humanity causing th billions of humans to end up becoming slaves to the alar across the Galaxy that's the last time something happened when he left how have they been around for 10,000 years the Imperium safely preserve dual teachings and Poli and they sacrifice a thousand psychers daily to keep him on life support when he just wants to die for all these years always submitting to your Superior will that's a relief for a second I thought you guys would have turned into some giant megal manical group of religious people running around killing each other in the name of some fictional theat who's going to tell him who's going to tell him 40K is just all out War oh no oh no oh god oh thank God everything's going well and you're not killing each other based on fictional deities well well or something like that oh have we told told you about the furry Crusades the what well no of course not my Lord we would never stoop so low the only one we would ever worship is the one true God of all is you of course everything else is heresy are you [ __ ] serious what is upsetting you almighty God emperor of man I knew this would [ __ ] he hated he literally said do not deify me and then they called him a Goden oh my Lord you don't have to worry about anything the ecclesiarchy and the Imperial Inquisition both make sure that the people of the Imperial retain their faith in you and you alone by making sure that no one knows about the corrupting powers of chaos and if they somehow figure it out we'll just exterminate some planet in its whole we'll just casually exterminate a planet oh the ecclesiarchy the Inquisition are you serious Dam Mighty really well yeah okay remember the age of strife um I remember the age of strife yep yep Humanity was spread all across the world they were in a massive um technological boom everything was going great AI overlords took over humans start getting pissy and everything fell apart bro everything fell apart dude everyone lost contact with each other humans in different galaxies got absolutely cut off got exterminated got murdered got eviscerated got enslaved I remember the age of strive referring to the age post toy sir no the age of strife let me tell you it was when [ __ ] cyers first started appearing and all of [ __ ] mankind started fighting each other over [ __ ] reasons yes sir that is when I first emerged I yep that's when he revealed himself until then he was kind of guiding history behind the scenes destroyed all [ __ ] religions that existed on Tera yeah he made this whole big thing he's like all right rule number one no religions you start worshiping some sort of religion we kill you I am no deity I am a man like that was literally his his opening dictating his open dictation to the people that's how he literally started his Rule and it was like well they all worship you now and they're killing each other based on different gods and he's like ah do you want to know why because you are the one true God my no wrong it is because religion is stupid superstitious brainwashing crap that makes you into an [ __ ] this is why I specifically said when designing the Imperial truth that equality science and Galaxy conquests is the way to go and equality baby female custodes religion needs to be thrown out a window my Lord what about the Leo divinitatus telling us that you are our one true God that was written by my whiny Butch of a sunlure no no decided to dress up in spice Scarlet Red armor worship some dark gods and be really [ __ ] Edy stupid rebellious teenage phases ah bro real dude's trying so hard he's like listen I have one rule no religion then they're like we have decided to worship you as a religion you're welcome well I see my Lord now where is my centor yes this is true happiness no so what is this age of apostasy that you mention um well well lorgar has sex with books God the lore goes deep do I put this El a [ __ ] dude all right what's three I'm liking this [ __ ] dude this is a great series what how did I not know this existed I'm so happy I did my L Deep dive in Warhammer God damn it lorgar wears a chastity cage so the books don't tempt him that is the greatest lore bit I've ever heard oh my God yes my Lord this happened on behalf of all mankind I'm really sorry my Lord oh no no no oh I love I love how they gave this man a text dis speech device just to complain to him about [ __ ] truly am really sorry you let one of those nutty Cults gain a hold of mankind and grow to become a state religion of the Imperium becoming this [ __ ] ecclesiarchy thing and then people start to cut their own [ __ ] screen out waving it around and throwing it at people all in a pool of their own and blood to profess their love for me remember when I told you not to make a religion now there are people killing themselves over religion remember when I told you not to worship me as a God and I am but a man why are there people making human sacrifices to me I wanted Humanity to be okay wh why why is this why is this happening really sorry and then you I'm sorry I'm sorry doesn't cut it bro some power hungry [ __ ] bureaucrat become the master of both the administr and that overly dominant ecclesiarchy grit effectively controlling all our hot leathery assassin from Theo and all [ __ ] psychers in the adap disaster telepath I love how he knows all that [ __ ] he's just like my guy your apology is not enough you are causing people to kill themselves over a religion that I told you that not to make people are killing themselves in my name every system that I have developed is crumbling you have given power to idiots you have given power to heathens there are civil wars in humankind guys stop please oh and our flashlight guys as well and then This falls to the walls Paramount of Imperial incompetence that has become your leader starts to kill and torture anyone and every feels like because it makes his bureaucrat ble with delight dude this man it's I it's the text to speech voice like the complete dead pant texted speech voice that just makes this so much better initiating a massive totally pointless Purge of all mankind yes yes a purge of all mankind I love how he's like my goal is to keep mankind safe goes to sleep wakes up so the a purge of all mankind happening I see and it's because of oh because of humans ah interesting and in addition you did all this with the most evil [ __ ] name I've ever heard goat vandire seriously how could you ever trust a guy with bat name God damn it g g e vire that name is just screaming I'm going to take your eyes sockets and put my penis into them that is what I think of the first time I hear that name go yeah that sounds like the type of guy that would put a penis in my I suet I mean [ __ ] look my Lord the events of the age of apostasy is all a great shame upon the Imperium but he was brought to Justice in the end why I was even there when it happened several asal's chapter Masters and the mechanic is fabricated General came around and told us what B had been up to all this time and then we helped out by conveying oh God he doesn't stop bro is literally not stopping oh my God my guy go vany over here caused so so many people to die for no reason truth of the matter to the leader of and's bodyguards the brides of the emperor by directing her straight to you why I remember it all like it was yesterday like it was yesterday 5,000 years earlier the sacred God Emperor himself upon the Golden Throne of teror he is so beautiful meanwhile he's just like he has to listen he doesn't have the text to speech device yet he's just like oh God please make them stop I've never seen anything as graceful and bewitching in all my life meanwhile in his mind he's just thinking I'm a buff baby that can dance like a man I can shake up my fanny I can shake them my tan I'm a tough toot and baby I can punch you your buns punching your buns I can punching your buns I know right and we get to clean his entire body several times a week oh my God your job is bathing a giant Immortal skeleton guy I'm so unfathomably jealous I can burn you all right now what a coincidence that's exactly what she does but I won't so don't worry but still yet right anyway as you can see no don't write anyway she's oh God is not the one who supposed to be looking up to he doesn't do anything but deceive to gain more power he is a madman and his reign of blood Must Be Stopped oh my God huh oh I'm I'm sorry I spaced out the emperor has some quite Divine looking ABS actually those are just bones jutting out but anyway I know you have served for a long time but his megalomaniacal ways must come to an end oh okay and nothing bad happened at all after that God this was such a mistake you have committed the ultimate heresy not only have you turned your back on the emperor and stepped from his you have profaned his name and almost destroyed everything he has striven to build bro striven I love how this this entire show is like do not turn do not turn me into a religion everyone else H I can make a religion out of this you have the emperor kills people I can make a religion out of that the emperor wants humans on top I can make a religion out of that and twisted theth he has laid from the emperor is a more like to make a religion out of that as your own decrees have stated can be no mercy for such a criminal I renounce your lordship you walk into darkness and cannot be allowed to live meanwhile them I don't know if she's a bad guy or not your sentence has been long overdue and now it is time for you to die I don't have time to die I I don't have time to die I ain't got no time for that I do busy right right I think I remember that too some girl came came in here and stared at me with depraved flustered eyes if I had the proper bodily components slep I would probably have got 10 a fairly insecure boner that's the no dude stop no emper for you wait those are actually his canonical last words I don't have time to die I'm too busy 100% No Cap oh my God I want that to be real you haven't made female Space Marines have you huh oh oh my God this aged way too well no that isn't even possible oh this aged way too well oh my God only LD and deviant artists of pen and parchments ever come up something like that even then if we do catch one of them process we end up bro this dude this custodian guy's job is just watching all the rule 34 in the Galaxy good the adeptus asardes can only contain Mills no girls allowed they are young this aged very well whatever you say my Lord so what's with this Inquisition Bank oh boy oh God so much is this dude's just been chilling for 10,000 years every travesty possible happened to Mankind in between oh my god dude oh God I love how this this uh this text to speech show is framed from in the way of um every bad thing that could have possibly happened happened over 10,000 years and now this dude can finally talk about it like that is such a hilarious gimmick all right let's do it let's go for it what what one more one more one more one more actually I think I have to go now stop you're telling me about this Inquisition then oh God I think that's your regular everyday me oh god dude oh Lord this is like getting grilled by the the grandpa in the family gatherings it's like and what is it that you do for a living and I'm like well you know I uh online advertising um thing are you a doctor no are you a lawyer no are you going to some sort of no so what is it that you said you were doing for a living listen grandpa I can't explain okay why is someone in chat saying we are not the same you're gay cuz you're attracted to men I'm gay cuz I hate women I what stop saying that sacrifice Souls being prepared better go and check on it what was that nothing my Lord nothing at all I just go now what the you are not going anywhere until you tell me about the Inquisition oh God how did you do that have you forgotten I'm the [ __ ] Emperor I sit around and randomly shed out warp storms daily because I have nothing better to do true true imagine sitting there being the most powerful man in the universe an immortal that knows that his whole future is wrapped up just culminated as this a 10,000 year Slumber to just witness everything that he's done for Humanity just crumble and die holy crap dude now tell me uhoh time time for more warp storms oh no War I think I shout out at least five warp storms during that presentation really what the [ __ ] have you all become laer cemps and sterilizations murder Millions over their Superstition oh God he's like bro this happened 38,000 years ago you don't need to do it again excommunication of actually loyal asardes have thousands of Imperial planets and its valuable assets destroyed because some B with Baron wire and accidentally summoned a demon or two listen this happens to the best of us okay listen oh no no just watching this man this is the this is actually a tragedy this is the saddest thing I've ever witnessed this text to speech [ __ ] is like yes the emperor that died for mankind is actually watching all the horrible [ __ ] that's going on the critical andos and demonic weapon reate in order to carry across my will use oh God true and it's all in the will of the emperor they go to a planet and they literally exterminate everyone on the planet and they just say it's in the will of the emperor oh my God this is horrible like dude oh God bro it's like say uh you know someone kill somebody else and it's like but Satan made me do it and then you see Satan just they're like no it's literally not me no monkey it was you but my lords The inquisition's Works to save mankind on numerous occasions the inquisitions work every time I mean we keep needing to do more and more of them every time a a minority group Rises up that disagrees with our philosophies or if they're Furies but like they work like during the high Fleet Leviathan crisis where The Inquisitor known as kryptman Ste forward the tyranis which he had previously named them had manag to out the Imperium but thanks to cryman that threat was abolished he had man all they had to do is Massacre all the humans to have a MOS concu to poison against the terrist which they then managed to defeat them entirely with that's a chemical listen between chemical weapons and a few trillion lives lost it was a massive W for the Empire I'm just saying am I going to have to start writing a list over things I don't know what the [ __ ] you are talking about because what in the balls are a tyrannid oh God someone told me I had to watch a whole tyranid lore dive before actually getting into this it's kind of nasty but still it was quite heroic of him and how much did this threat cost to abolish um everything well let's just say he didn't have a luxury to count the cost anyway there was also one he dead one time during the first war of Armageddon where the gry knights help the space walls fight off uh the first war of Armageddon that's a good sign wait wait what do you mean first what do you mean by first the demon primar please don't get over sensitive about the primar thing I really don't need more of this now you are bringing up those [ __ ] gray Knights again with that stupid ass baby carrier dread KN thing my inexistent eyes are still sore from seeing that Abomination oh God yes but TR 609 Wars later the first Armageddon was awful received great armageddon's a planet thanks aid from the grey knights in their battle and then what uh what do you mean what happened after the battle had ended H nothing it was just peaceful probably well the space WS kind of wanted to save the survivors of the war but the Inquisition sort of wanted to put them into labor camps and sterilize them and have them die off which the space force didn't really like that much so not that space wall well there was a cold war in the grut I love how he's like this is the solution the solution is great the solution solved the issue yes it caused a completely unrelated new issue to sprout but the issue that was like that we were dealing with was solved rray the space walls and some [ __ ] happened but that isn't important because well one time the Grain House stopped a blood burst using an ancient very dangerous technology known as the blood Ti from destroying a world and it was truly glorious oh God no well don't worry about the Cold War cuz we destroyed the world so it's all good don't worry don't worry dude in a distant future there is only War bro whoever said that was right dude space king calm down Emperor guy listen this is going to be the answer to all of your questions yes you gave your life for Humanity you were suffering an endless torment for 10,000 years on this throne with a SanSai but my homie yeah oh [ __ ] um no it doesn't end space King stop no killed a massive amount of innocent sisters a battle and doed their armor in their blood but just [ __ ] it stop dude we get it we get it we get it okay so you killed those people to stop that issue it started that issue so you have to kill those people to stop that issue yeah this organization however it came to [ __ ] be as obviously pure concentrated whole brain stupid SP it and whoever came up with the idea to create it in the first place is obviously a [ __ ] idiot they walk around and do whatever they [ __ ] feel like while laughing really snarky thean communities they see before them all while having themselves and all their troops orn and loads of [ __ ] shiny [ __ ] in skulls to look so Emperor worshiping when really they are just yeah dude the best part is they all do it in the name of the emperor empire Emperor meanwhile is a heap of Bones here on terara and uh yeah in the name of the emperor they exterminated another race Creeps in trench Coates and that is all they will ever be now ready yourself send this message to the scribes I want it sent to every corner of the [ __ ] Galaxy all right all right my dude is putting it in writing it's over I the Emperor of mankind hereby make my official decree that all organizations contained within the holy orders of the emperor's Inquisition and the adeptus mini storm shall be disbanded and removed from existence all who work for REM from existence holy [ __ ] organiz here we go the story starts okay so all this was the prequel to the greater text to speech extended Universe all right return to their sector of birth and work there as a regular citizen once more all who refuse shall be branded Renegades until they have given up their feudal strive to conquer the galaxy in the name of their dramatic religion sign the Emperor of mankind yes I shall go ahead and do that immediately my Lord I'll be back when finished this is all [ __ ] nuts yeah bro woke up at the worst timeline no seriously I love how he's like I will solve all these issues of all these endless Wars by simply you know removing the enemies from existence War yeah how could an organization like this spring into exista yeah crazy crazy how you think that when you have an entire organization built off the deification of a single man once that man gets taken away it becomes an actual insane psychoan organization a Hydra without heads just wandering growing and destroying more and more people for the will of a non-existent emperor that they view as a God my guy my homie my dude who could have seen something like this coming people actually worshiping a man that is for all intents and purposes dead because they deified him who could have seen this take place would you watch bicky's 40K factions explained you know what I godamn would watch that okay 10,000 likes and I will wait a moment I remember something [ __ ] [ __ ] this can't be for real [Music] uhoh bruh dude apparently the lore in this TTS Universe go crazy and there's like 40 episodes Lord Inquisitor yor cars what is it do not waste my time very busy initiating extermina from this mining world for not giving me the shiny [ __ ] we need seriously we can't have a soldiers walking around without the blame a very important message has been sent to you directly from holy teror itself oh God all right dude you got the message end the war evil Russian man I love how 40,000 years in the future you still have Russian accents yeah what heresy heresy how did I know that's where he was going with it bro so apparently this is where the actual story for the TTS Emperor starts and it becomes a crazy story all right dude I invested I am freaking invested we are going down this Rabbit Hole the rabbit hole will be explored God damn it leave a like leave a like baby leave a freaking like and we are getting to the bottom of this 10,000 likes I explore the the freaking uh Texas beach universe and I will watch what's that other one that you recommended the uh 40K factions from that brick guy I'll do that too let me know cuz I really actually really like the the Warhammer 40K the faction video I really like the 40K lore uh and I'm down to keep exploring so all tomorrows I'll do all tomorrows too it's actually on my list all right stay weird fan bye bye bye bye-bye bye-bye if you made it to the end click one of these two videos which also will definitely get me cancelled see you live on cake stay weird fam

Channel: Nuxanor

Views: 62,128

Keywords: nux taku, nuxanor, meme, reddit, stream fails, vtubers, hololive, vtuber nux, nux taku shorts, nux taku streams, if the emperor had a text-to-speech device, Warhammer 40k, Warhammer 40k drama, Warhammer 40k controversy, Warhammer emperor, emperor 40k, Nuxanor Warhammer, Nuxanor 40k, Warhammer, 40k, Warhammer female custodes, emperor tts, emperor tts reaction, Nuxanor emperor tts reaction

Id: ZZ8jGookCf8

Length: 32min 39sec (1959 seconds)

Published: Thu May 02 2024