- In my last video, I went over 10 ways to
quickly ruin your life, and it is by far the most (censored quack)
depressing video I have ever made in my life. And a lot of you who
watched that video said, "Wow, I don't actually
need a tutorial for this. I see myself in every
single one of those points and I don't know what to do. I've been depressed
(tranquil ambient music) for a long time, or maybe I haven't been
feeling well for a long time, and this video just sort of reminds me of what a big piece of
(censored beep) I am." I literally read that same
comment verbatim 50 times. So I felt obligated to make this video because I want to take each
point from the last video and flip it to give you guys some ideas to help you rise from the ashes, get out of whatever
depressive rut that you're in so that you can start
feeling better very quickly. Step number one is to have a goal. You need to figure out what
you want from your life. And a lot of the time we already kind of know
what we want with our lives, but it is sort of just
this vague sentiment. We know that we probably
want to have more money or we want to have a girlfriend,
or we want to pass school or to feel better or to have
big muscles or cool hair. Like we have all these vague sentiments, but we haven't really sat down and separated the wheat from the chaff. We haven't figured out what things are actually important to us, what things get us excited
to wake up in the morning and we don't really outline what kind of person we
want to be specifically. How do we ideally want to spend our time? How much time should we
spend playing Runescape? How do we want to feel
on a day to day basis? What kind of relationships
do we want to have? All of these things are
so important to outline specifically, otherwise we
don't really have an aim. We have all of these
vague sentiments of things that we kind of want
and that would be nice, but we have absolutely no specific goals and absolutely no specific
steps to get there. And without that aim, we
are by definition, aimless. So no wonder we kind of
descend into nihilism without a goal. We need goals to strive towards, and it's in that striving
that we find meaning, we find that internal fulfillment that we're usually looking for when we're spending time
on Instagram and whatnot. We're sort of looking for
this feeling of resolution, like you're where you're supposed to be. You find that feeling
by being on your path and you don't know if you're on your path if you don't have a goal. So it is so important to spend some time, sit down with a pen and paper
and figure out in detail what you want your life to
look like one month from now, one year from now, and
five years from now. Step number two is step out of the cave. One of the easiest ways by
far to descend into despair is to spend all of your time
inside in front of screens getting sucked into endless algorithms, being force fed topics that
you are growing tired of, and it seems to be the same
things every single day. You watch the same videos and
you think the same thoughts. So it's extremely important
that if you don't like that, that you stop spending so
much time inside your house. You have to step outside of the cave, let the sunlight and
vitamin D hit your skin, go be a person in the world, stop spending so much time in isolation. That's probably one of
the biggest things that the past couple of years have taught us is spending all of our times
in front of a screen isn't exactly good for our mental health. So emerge from the cave
as much as possible. Let people know your
name, get to know people, have people know you. By being a person in the world, we stop being so closed in on ourselves, our soul becomes this black hole that just requires entertainment
and people to validate you. And we almost draw the
world in towards ourself rather than being out there and radiating this sort
of abundant giving nature, as woo-woo as that sounds. When we spend so much time in isolation, we get so self-conscious that
every other external input is sort of like trying to fill this hole that we create in ourselves. Let's stop that. Get outside of the house,
go talk to somebody. Stop spending all of your
time in your little cave. As much as you are capable,
go be a person in the world. Step number three to
dramatically improve your life is to take risks. Life is inherently risky, by
being alive, you risk dying, by crossing the street, you
risk getting hit by a bus. There are so many things
that could go wrong and probably will go wrong in your life, and a lot of these things are completely out of your control. You can't escape bad
things happening to you. You feel pain anyways. So why not feel the pain
of trying and failing rather than the pain of apathy
and despair and neglect? This doesn't mean spend all of your money
on the latest crypto thing and hope to get rich
because that's just dumb. Start off small, try to
strike up a conversation with the person in the elevator
or the grocery checkout. You might risk being perceived
as sort of a weird person that people don't want to talk to, but that's a great example of a risk that is kind of worth taking because even if you are seen as a weirdo and they literally go, "Ugh,
why are you talking to me?" That sort of rejection, when you voluntarily subject yourself and you are aware that that could happen, but you do it anyways, that
is an empowering rejection. That's the thing about risk, when you are aware of
the negative downsides, but you make a calculated
decision to go for it anyways. When that downside happens, you at least respect yourself for trying. And as you take more risks in life, as you step outside of your comfort zone, you start to get better
at evaluating risk. You start to be a better judge of what could go wildly
wrong with very little upside versus what has like pretty good upside and very little downside. You start to develop resilience, you start to develop this
like bounce back nature, this anti fragility, so it's never too late to
start taking more risks. Obviously don't be dumb,
if you have a family, don't bank everything on the stock market, especially right now. Don't quote me on that, it's just a hunch. But like I said, from the
start, life is inherently risky. By not taking risks and not
getting comfortable with risks, that's risky in and of itself. In fact, it's worse than risky because not only do you risk not getting what you
eventually want in life, you pretty much guarantee it. So if you're starting to feel
sort of apathetic in life, stop sitting at the shore, living in fear for the next big wave to get all of your
clothes wet, learn to surf and expect to be bad at the
start, but you'll get better. The fourth thing that you can do to dramatically improve your life is to get out of your head. Assuming you followed step one and you developed a clear vision of what you want with your life and the things that you
typically want to do each day, then you've already done
plenty amount of thinking. So often in our lives we think that we need
to think things through in order to do something, but like for 99% of the
things, we really do not. Like, if you really feel like you should be getting
back into the gym again and you start to feel inspired
because you watch this like, I don't know, workout
montage transformation video where like, "Oh, yeah man, I really should start
going to the gym again." so you start looking up
new workout clothes to buy, you start spending money on
this like advanced YouTuber fitness influencer program. You spend all your money at GNC. It's like you don't need
to do this much thinking, just go to the (censored beep) gym. Do the thing before you
can even think about it, because as soon as you start
thinking, you already know, you're an absolute master at finding a way to weasel out of it. Even if the rationale is fairly cohesive, the result is that you
didn't end up doing it. So many things in life are like this. If you need to write your final essay, as soon as you think about it and you already know it's good for you, you need to become efficient at just putting one foot
in front of the other and already start doing it. Like literally shut your brain off and start thinking about the essay when you've already written
like six words for it. 99% of us have a problem of overthinking, not under thinking. Step number five is produce. Always produce more than you consume. And in this highly consumeristic culture, that is very challenging, especially if you are
like most people nowadays, including myself, if I'm not careful. So many of us sort of sit
there living life passively. You know, we're living life on our heels willingly hypnotizing us with whatever content is displayed for us when we enter in YouTube, you
know, maybe that's this video. Maybe you've been incessantly watching self-improvement content. Click away from this video. You don't need this video. Like come back to it later, go do the thing that
you're supposed to do. You know, go produce, stop
consuming content like this. If it's the end of the day and you're kicking back
and having a good time, then maybe keep on watching. But I'm literally gonna screw myself with this video algorithm wise because I genuinely mean it. Go do something more important. Life feels so much more exciting when you are creating more
than you're consuming. If you like watching
videos, learn to make them. If you like scrolling
Instagram, looking at photos, learn to take them. The satisfaction that we're longing for when we're doom scrolling
is the feeling of creation. It's being in the flow state, feeling like you are where
you're supposed to be and you're doing something significant. You're putting something
out into the world. So always try to produce at
least as much as you consume, preferably more. Step number six is to welcome feedback. Don't just surround yourself with people who think
exactly who you think and you have like three or
four people that you talk to and you all have the same
opinions about everything and you look with judgment on people who live life differently
because your world is so small, that's pretty much everybody. It's important to have an
inner circle, absolutely. And a lot of the time your inner circle will think a lot like
you think, absolutely. But surround yourself with
people who challenge you, who wanna hold you to a higher standard. If you start to stray off the path, they can bring you back onto it. And a lot of the time that
won't be very comfortable, a lot of the time that'll
be a hit to the ego. But you want to find people who want the best for
the best version of you. Not just people who want you
to be comfortable all the time. Try to reflect on the fact that you probably don't know everything and there's a lot to
learn from other people. This doesn't mean to be spineless and not stand up for
what you think is right, but do it in a way that
is solution oriented, not ego oriented. You do not know everything. Number seven is be vulnerable. Now a lot of you might say, "That one sounds pretty
beta to be honest with you. That sounds super beta. Joey's a beta, sure." By being vulnerable, I don't
mean expose your vital organs to a dirty bandit with a sharp knife. I mean, don't be afraid to
be emotionally vulnerable, emotionally honest, to your inner circle, to the people who are holding
you to a higher standard. Now what does this mean and
what's the utility of this? Well, let's look at the alternative, the alternative is to be secretive, to have things that you're ashamed of that you never tell anybody. You stuff it down, you
pretend it doesn't exist. And a lot of the time when you
have bad habits or addictions or something like that
and you keep them hidden, they tend to blossom in the shadows. Right, they start to weigh on you far more than they probably should. When you don't expose your flaws and your darker side to anybody, when you're not emotionally
vulnerable and honest, you know, no one really knows who you are. You conceal a part of
yourself from the world. Reflect on your life. Are there things that you
do behind closed doors that you wouldn't do if
that door were to swing open and grandma was home? That's a very weird way to put it. And if there are things that we do that we don't want to
admit to other people, it's important to find the
courage to let somebody know, somebody that you trust. This is a very Christian idea actually. Confession isn't for God or for the priest or for a person that you're
confiding in, it's for you. It's to shed light on the
darker aspects of yourself to sort of like heal it,
to like purge it in a way, 'cause these darker sides of
ourselves thrive in secrecy. Don't be afraid to confide
in somebody that you trust about things that you're not so proud of because a weight will
come off your shoulders every single time. It's like cathartic. And then you can live your
life with more freedom to sort of pursue the
higher version of yourself. Where do you find these types of people? Outside of your house. Thing number eight, to dramatically improve
the rest of your life, this one's probably the hardest one to do, it's the one that I
struggle with the most, and that is to embrace conflict. Now this one might sound interesting, but the alternative is
to run from conflict. If you have a problem with something, let somebody know, right. Otherwise, you're an absolute doormat. If someone wrongs you, you know,
does something to hurt you, does something out of line
that you don't appreciate, don't just be like, "Oh no, it's okay." Because if it's not okay, it's not okay, don't say that it's okay. Because by doing that, you look weaker, so that person is more likely
to take advantage of you in the future. And they say like, "Wow, this
guy's an absolute doormat." But far worse is that you
don't respect yourself as much. You say like, "Wow, I just
let people walk all over me because I don't want to deal with slight discomfort in the short term." That's something I
struggle with personally. You know, I'm a pretty agreeable
person a lot of the time, I wanna make sure everyone's comfortable and having a good time. And I have fairly thick
skin, I played hockey and dressing room culture
in small town Canada, people throw jabs. And I don't think that
like being overly sensitive is particularly beneficial
in that circumstance. You do have to let stuff kind
of bounce off a little bit, but when something crosses
the line, you know it. And a lot of the time those
aren't like little jabs or you know humor, a lot of the time that's just
like straight up disrespect. They say something about
a family member of yours or at work, something genuinely
unfair or unprofessional or unsafe happens. Don't just be like, "That's all right, yeah, like don't worry about it." But yeah. You have to speak up, right? Otherwise you don't have a spine. And if you've gotten in the habit of doing this over years
and years and years, you almost have to like
re-earn your spine again. And that's tough, that's really tough. It's something that is extremely important because that goes along with honesty. Speak the truth. If you don't like something,
say that you don't like it. Be willing to risk people perceiving you as
mildly unpleasant in the moment in order to gain respect, not just from the people around you, but respect for yourself. When the elephant in the
room comes barging in, talk about the elephant, be like, "Hey, look at
that elephant right there. What are we gonna do about it? The thing's (censored beep) huge." Don't have elephants in your room. They don't belong in your room, they belong in the zoo or in the wild. Actually, if I say they belong in the zoo, I'll get canceled. They belong (sighs) elsewhere. Step number nine, don't play Runescape. I put that tip in the video and it's like the number
one comment is like Lamel, I died at play Runescape. I played a lot of Runescape, like a lot. I think I should change it in the video to play Runescape three, because old school Runescape still slaps. All right, tip number 10 is be optimistic. I think optimism gets a bad rap because people will look at
optimism and they'll say, "Man, this person is not based. He doesn't realize that there's a lot of
suffering in the world, and it's not all sunshine and rainbows." But unless I have a different definition of what optimism is, optimism
is the opposite of pessimism. Pessimism is where you
look at any situation and you find the negative in it. You know, the glass is always half empty. If you are a pessimist, you compulsively put a
negative spin on things. You have a habit of
looking at anything good or neutral or bad and finding
the fault in all of it. And while that might be true, because the fabric of our reality is inherently tainted in a lot of ways, suffering is a part of life. Everyone's aware of that, but why would you add to the suffering by being compulsively negative,
by finding a way to complain or lament about all these
things you have to do? You're basically cutting
yourself off at the knees before you can get going. There's no shortage of
suffering in the world. You know, life is hard. People on motorbikes could ruin your shot as you're trying to do
a video at 11:00 PM, when you have to wake up at
5:00 AM to catch a flight to London, "Oh, life is so
hard, I'm going to London." If you have a tendency to compulsively look for the negative in everything, you add to the net suffering of your life, it doesn't improve your life
to be overly negative, right. Seek to find the good in everything rather than the negative. That's what being an
optimist is all about. It's not being blind
to the negative aspects of the reality around you, it's choosing to focus on what's good. There's a reason why gratitude journals have been shown to cure in a lot of people clinical anxiety or insomnia, right. There's some really
interesting studies on that, and it's because people focus on the positive aspects of their lives and the things that they're grateful for. It doesn't mean that they
like created anything new, they're just remembering
things differently and they feel better
about their lives, right. They have a internal piece
that they're fostering because they're able to habitually see the
positive aspect of things. And there's the motorcycle
again, I love the motorcycle because it reminds me of
what an amazing job I have. Do I actually think that? I don't know, but I feel
good rather than negative. And if you're really good
at being a pessimist, it's really difficult
to actually recognize when you're doing it because
you do it so regularly and it's such a
intellectual slight of hand that it's really hard to
pick up a lot of the time. This is a very difficult thing to do to remain optimistic in times of trial. It's not easy, but it is deeply meaningful and is deeply satisfying
to try to be that person. So try to recognize all the little ways that you are being negative
about your yourself, being negative about your
capabilities, about your future, about your past, your present. Try to find all little ways
that you're spinning little fun, little spiderwebs into negativity, I don't know how that
makes sense, it doesn't, but neither does being negative. So if you've made it to
the end of this video, try that today for the rest of the day or make a note of it tomorrow. Be extra mindful about the
stories you tell yourself about the world around you
and about your own life. Is this a hopeful story or is this an overly
bleak and negative story with no aim and no encouragement? The world isn't a very encouraging place, and the last person that should be robbing you
of encouragement is yourself. Your life gets better
when you're optimistic. I will die on that hill. If you have been not feeling so good, you watched my last video
and it made things worse. Then hopefully by listening
to some of these these tips, you are starting to get some ideas as to how you can start feeling better. And again, a lot of these things are just scratching the surface, maybe these things weren't
very practical or hands on, but hopefully they got your mind working as to how to get out of some of the negative thought patterns that we find ourselves in so that you can dramatically improve the remainder of your life. And as usual, thank you so much again
to our wonderful sponsor, Athletic Greens. (upbeat ambient music)
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advantage of this offer and thank you again to Athletic Greens for sponsoring this video. If you liked this video, make sure that you hit the like button, because when you actually
move your mouse over and click the like button,
the algorithm goes, "Okay, this video is good, and
more people should see it." That is a huge help if
you hit the like button. Let me know in the comments below which one of these tips
you most struggle with and which ones you're
most excited to work on. I would love to hear your side of things. Other than that, thank you so
much for watching as always, and we'll catch you in the next video.
