10 Ways to Deal with Difficult People

i am super excited to announce to you that a new  course in vlad school is coming out it's called   relationship with the holy spirit in this course  we'll dive into how to know the holy spirit more   i believe that god will use this course to reveal  this amazing person of the holy spirit and your   relationship with him will never be the same  so enroll today into vlad school and be blessed hey guys this is vlad let me know where  you're tuning in from and logging in i want to   jump in here for a few moments and uh share  with you something that i believe is going to be   really beneficial we're going to go  actually live on instagram as well and so   if um let me know where you're tuning in from  this is a labor day weekend in the united states   and i know that we have different people watching  from different places and so um do want to let   you know that one second i think i was on the  wrong i do want to let you know that we have um   the fight back uh book is coming out  very soon and i'm really excited for that   in fact in 24 days the book is going to be out and  some of you who are in my email list you received   an email today with a sample chapter and  also for those people who are willing to or   wanting to leave a review for the fightback  book just email books at vladimirspec.com   we'll be able to sign you up so that you can  actually get the book before it comes out   and leave us a review for the amazon or whatever  that you consume the books at let me know where   you're tuning in from i see uh fiji islands  philippines canada india iowa pennsylvania   new zealand um north carolina south sudan all  right awesome awesome i'm just going to wait for   him for a minute or two canada is in the house  florida god bless you watching from philippines   florida pennsylvania awesome awesome share  this broadcast in a second canada los angeles   go ahead and just click share if you're on the  ig you can just kind of share it on your story   or if you're on facebook you can share it with  your friends create a watch party i want to   just jump in quickly and share something that  i believe is going to be really beneficial for   a lot of people concerning uh difficult  people or concerning dealing with issues   of um people that are many times we are surrounded  with whether it's in our family or whether it's in   our work or whether it's in our leadership i think  every single person must understand that people   are going to be our greatest joy and people  are also going to be are also greater pain   people will bring you the greatest pleasure and  then people will also bring you the greatest   joy and pain i know a lot of people who quit  their ministry because of people i know people who   gave up on relationships because they've been hurt  by people i also know people who left their faith   because of people people is god's treasure but  people can also be honestly a very very difficult   can make your life extremely painful and extremely  difficult and i'm not speaking this because i went   through right now something that is difficult  not really i've had an experience last week that   went under my skin and the next morning i  went to talk to god and say lord what is   how do i process this how do i deal with this   and the interesting part is that my reading  plan that morning fell on jesus's crucifixion   and so jesus is death how he processed that and so  i started to reread that chapter in the light of   how to deal with difficult people how to deal with  challenging situations and i wrote these things   for myself these were just something that i wrote  for myself and i really believe they're going to   be a blessing to you as well if you are in this  situation right now where maybe you're dealing   with something very difficult in your relationship  with your spouse or perhaps with your children or   maybe it's at your work or maybe it's things  that you're dealing right now in the ministry   where somebody is getting under your skin  where somebody feels like man they're just   they're just driving me crazy i can sleep i  constantly think about this person i constantly   you know they they're just really driving  me up the wall and i'm pretty sure that   each one of us has somebody in our mind right now  as i'm speaking about this and so i'm gonna really   believe that this is gonna help you as it it's  kind of gave me a framework of what to do when   i deal with difficult people and so i'm just gonna  share with you simple 10 principles on what to do   with difficult people number one looking at  the life of jesus jesus prayed beforehand   interesting because before being betrayed forsaken  beaten falsely accused physically beaten being   thrown under the bus being mocked before all of  that happened the bible says jesus took time to   pray in fact he knew something is about to happen  and he prayed one hour probably and then he did   that prayer three times and so i feel like a  lot of people are walking into toxic people   situations they walk into toxic environments  not prepared because they're not prayed up   when you are not prayed up when you haven't dealt  with toxic people difficult people evil people   challenging people then those situations they  will take you out those situations they will seem   bigger than you can handle a lot of times people  come up and they say well i really feel like   um you know god is not gonna give you what you  cannot handle well it actually doesn't say that in   the bible the bible says that we will not have a  temptation but god will let you go through things   that are bigger than you can handle why because  he doesn't expect you to handle it prayerlessly he   doesn't expect you to walk into those situations  without living a life of prayer for example   the same situation that jesus experienced  was the cross was that temptation for peter   more than peter could handle peter failed in  it was it because peter couldn't handle it no   it was because peter didn't pray for it  jesus told the peter he says if you pray   you will get through the temptation he says  that's why you have to pray is because temptation   is going to come to you peter and it's going to  come to me and so i need to pray because i want   to overcome this temptation if you don't pray  the temptation will be bigger than you can bear   but it's never bigger than what your prayer can  bear and so i found out when my walk with the lord   is not strong i walk into toxic environments  or i walk into toxic people and they tend to   take all of my energy all of my anointing but  in reality it's not because they're so powerful   it's because at that moment i'm so weak delilah  wasn't more powerful than samson the problem   is that samson's walk with god wasn't there  that's why she was able to take his anointing   and so i see people all the time blaming oh it's  a spirit of jezebel you know this person has a   demon and that's why they're they they're they're  controlling me my friend the devil is not that   powerful he's been defeated he's been disarmed the  problem is that if you don't walk with the lord   that you will feel the influence of  toxic people on a deeper level than you   realize it's it's like this you know there's  bacteria everywhere but one of the reasons you   don't get sick is because of your immune system  your immune system fights for you even if you   don't realize that my friend that's exactly what  happens when you walk with god there's an immune   system in you that overcomes and challenges  things that come against you you still might   feel it but you won't be as affected by it as if  you would be if your immune system is compromised   and so jesus the way he dealt with toxic people  the way he dealt with difficult people with   really evil people is that he went into those  situations prayed up he went to them prayed up   and so and i think that's one thing that we need  to draw number two is that jesus caused others to   marvel by his silence the bible says that pilate  marveled not at jesus's wise answers he marveled   not at jesus's wisdom but at his silence you  know before that people marveled because of how   powerful jesus's words were jesus spoke and  demons obeyed him jesus spoke and wins obeyed   him jesus's words were life and they are spirit  but what made pilate marvel is not jesus's defense   words but his silence now jesus wasn't  silent because he had nothing to say   jesus had a lot to say in fact all he could  he could say some stuff and pilate would turn   into just a bag of ashes ashes jesus in his  difficult time with difficult people said   nothing i think that's the hardest thing to do  there are people that no matter what you say   they will never change their view of you  defending yourself will only empty yourself   fighting for yourself would only deplete you  there are people the best thing you can do   is to ignore them yeah you just walk away  when the guy threw stones at david when   absalom took over the throne there was nothing  david could say back to the descendant of um   benjaminite nothing he could have said to make him  stop you know what david said absolutely nothing   he just kept on walking the bible says to do  good and by that we can silence the ignorance   of foolish men there are foolish people in  this world that are evil people in this world   that are people who will attack you in your  difficult times they could be difficult people   and sometimes the best thing you can do is  to shut your mouth and absolutely say nothing   you may say but what if they are the ones that  are within my circle don't respond don't reply   and it's difficult for us to do that because we  have something to say we have facts we have a   proof we have to justify ourselves when the  brothers of the brothers of david attacked   david and they said david uh you know because  he was trying to kill goliath and they said   you're foolish of heart why did you leave this  sheep and the bible says and david walked away   he just walked away and this is jesus's secret  he kept his mouth shut now i have a hard time   doing that i'll be honest with you because i  want people to hear i want to defend myself   and one of the reasons i have a hard time  closing my mouth during a difficult season   with difficult people is and this is what  the lord revealed to me he said because   if you don't open your mouth in prayer in a  secret place you will have a hard time closing it   in your temptation time remember peter he kept his  mouth closed during temptation he had a hard time   closing it excuse me he had he had kept his mouth  closed during prayer he slept through the prayer   instead of praying to the father like jesus  did peter slept and then in the temptation   peter had a hard time closing his mouth he kept  saying all the wrong stuff and i realized that   dealing with difficult people dealing  with toxic people dealing with um   evil people dealing with foolish people sometimes  the best thing you can do is to say absolutely   nothing not because you have nothing to say it's  because whatever you're gonna say is not gonna   change anything and it's only gonna deplete  you in fact the bible says to be slow to speak   to be slow to anger and swift to hear and i think  with us when dealing with challenging people we do   the opposite we are quick to respond we are quick  to reply we are quick to share peace of our mind   we are quick to get in the fight with people and  then guess what happens when we're quick to speak   we're quick to anger even when we responded  we send a text message we posted that video   we told them off you know conversation is  over but the anger is still there and for   the rest of the day we're angry we can't  sleep really well because we're angry   and then the crazy part is that we don't listen  because even when we were speaking we didn't   listen to them god gave us two ears and one mouth  so that we can speak twice twice as less as we   listen but with us it's the opposite i think  jesus teaches me personally dealing with difficult   people and my friend jesus dealt with some pretty  heavy cases like for example think about this   is that jesus you know was beaten jesus was  mocked jesus went through a time where he   was he was forsaken by his by people close to  him he was falsely accused he was blasphemed   his property was taken from him jesus went through  extremely difficult time if you think that people   are bad to you they did really bad to jesus  even his closest friends and his followers   they did really bad things to jesus and the  scripture says during that difficult time he   kept his mouse mouth closed he zipped his lip he  muzzled his mouth he just completely went silent   and it caused people to marvel when was the last  time people marveled because of your silence   see all of us are trying to impress other  people with our wisdom and with how clever   our thoughts are and how clever our defense is  and with how we are able to fight for ourselves   but let's be like jesus let's cause people  to marvel because of our silence because   we have nothing to say because even if we do  have something to say we don't think it's the   right thing to say we don't think it's gonna  change anything and we're trusting in god   to speak on our behalf i'm not saying that you  should play dead be a dormant and have people walk   all over you i'm not saying you should never speak  up for yourself but most of us we speak too early   and we speak with anger and we speak in a way that  only causes things worse not better and usually   after we're done speaking it's not speaking  it's vomiting it makes people around us sick   it's a fighting thing it's not a fixing thing  our speech didn't fix anything it only fought   it's like beating a skunk yeah we won we want  an argument but we lost our peace and so jesus   didn't win arguments with the pilot with the  pharisees at his you know very difficult season   he just let them think they're right he let them  think they won and he was silent and to me that   honestly is the hardest thing to do because i'm  like a lot of people i have something to say   i have something to prove and uh and  a lot of times it comes very difficult   and so number three so number one we mentioned is  that jesus went into the difficult situation with   people prayed up number two is that jesus caused  people to marvel by his silence number three   is that jesus took the beating jesus endured  the suffering now again i live in the country of   the united states where a lot of people have guns  and you cross their property and you can get shot   you know in the people it's the within our  rights to defend ourselves and this teaching   and this what jesus did kind of goes against the  culture because jesus did not pull a rifle out   jesus did not punch people back who plucked  his beard in fact jesus let people beat him   spit on him and jesus let people forsake  him betray him sell him falsely accuse him   mock him and dress him like a clown like a fake  king and he let people drive nails into his wrist   and throw put a spear through his side and i  look at that and i think jesus is the best human   that walked on earth he was son of god but he  was also a son of man and that goes contrary to   my culture but that is christianity early  christians they took the beating i am not   in any way saying if people come to attack your  house or something you shouldn't defend yourself   i'm not saying that what i'm saying is in dealing  with toxic difficult people we have become   so scared of suffering we have ran from suffering  especially us charismatics and pentecostals   we have developed a whole doctrine that helps  us to escape suffering we hate suffering   and i'm not saying that suffering  is good but it can be used for good   remember the fruit of the holy spirit is  long suffering it's not suffering avoidance   it's suffering for a long time our savior  who was perfect was a man of sorrow in fact   before he started to suffer the bible  says he had a sorrow in his soul to death   meaning the vexation the pain he experienced  on the inside not physically just on the inside   it was to the point of dying now  he didn't rebuke that he didn't   confess and possess joy in that  moment he let it go through him   and i we have we have rejected and i think we need  to come back to embracing a doctrine of suffering   it's okay to suffer it's okay to hurt it's okay to  not feel good in fact the fruit of the holy spirit   is not suffering avoidance it's long suffering how  are we expected to experience long suffering if we   avoid every suffering paul says to timothy  in second timothy chapter 2 verse 3 he says   endure suffering he didn't say avoid it endure  it the bible says those who suffer for his name   it's a good thing my ancestors they set in  jail for the cause of christ they endured   mocking they endured persecution and for  the cause of jesus and they took it with joy   apostles were physically beaten and you  don't see them suing people afterwards   you don't see them you know getting lawyered  up now the law was not on their side yes   they didn't have weapons like we do have today  but this was christianity that we were left with   could it be that our our desire for  happiness pleasure and comfort has caused us   to reject one of the basic qualities of  a christian life which is what to be able   to endure suffering without becoming becoming  better without hating god and hating people we   all bible says he who wants to live in god in this  will suffer and so perhaps that little thing that   you're going through right now but it's difficult  to sleep your heart is hurting you are suffering   maybe there are some issues you're dealing with  authorities within your church you are suffering   suffer graciously suffer with the help of the holy  spirit don't just pray it out don't just say god   remove it say god get me through it jesus took  the beating and that is crazy he took the beating   the holy spirit helped him and so when i  experience that emotional beating or that mental   beating you know sometimes dealing with people  especially if you're a minister that's unavoidable   if you're married it's unavoidable if you're  anything to do with people it's unavoidable   so when you're going through that my friend just  learn to do what jesus did go through it don't   get stuck in it don't try to run from it don't  try to be scared by it walk through that thing   with the help of the holy spirit and in the  process he will help you to develop fruit   of long suffering which means you can suffer  for extended period of time without breaking   without quitting without giving up now some  of you have probably never heard a teaching   on suffering like that because your idea was that  if you walk close to the holy spirit there will   be no suffering in your life but the fruit of the  spirit is long suffering how are you planning to   develop that fruit if there will be no suffering  so there will be some kind of a suffering whether   it's going to be from people whether it's going  to be some pressures or something that god is   not going to remove but he will walk with you  through it so jesus took the beating number four   is that jesus during his suffering by the hands  of people he poured out his heart to his father   so to me what that means is you have to find  the right person to complain to a right people   to how how should i say unwind to where you pour  out your heart where you you let them know how you   feel and the way jesus expressed his feelings  to his father they were very raw they were not   full of faith remember jesus lazarus come forth  see be still come out of that person demons he   spoke to demons come out and look what happens  when people cause him suffering i know he was also   carrying the weight of our sin i know that i  know his father rejected him because of the sin   we know that but let's look at realistically also  he went through betrayal he went through mockery   he was physically beaten he really suffered  from the hands of people and look what he did   he opens up to his father and he says why did you  forsake me this is jesus this is the man of faith   this is a man of power who has the holy spirit  without measure and look how he complains to me it   brings comfort it's okay when you are hurting from  dealing with toxic difficult people to have some   people in your life not facebook not instagram  not your favorite pastor on youtube but someone   that knows you sometimes it could be your spouse  it could be your mentor sometimes it could be   your close friend that you can come in and you can  honestly tell them the truth say honestly i don't   know why this is happening to me why what did i do  wrong why am i under this attack i feel pressure i   my life sucks this is horrible i don't like my  life anymore i don't know what's happening to me   you and they will not judge you they're not gonna  reject you they're not gonna tell other people   about it if you have at least one person in your  life who you can complain to you are so blessed   so you don't bottle that up someone who can help  you process those feelings without judging you and   without afterwards reporting you to some you know  your pastors or other people you will be really   blessed if you have that person now the secret is  make sure you don't go to this person every day   if you chronically complain every day of your  life you're not just dealing with toxic people   you are a toxic person you are the toxic person  so i'm talking jesus didn't do that to his   father every day but there was a season when he  went through a very difficult time with people   that he complained doubt it questioned i mean  look the question why have you forsaken me   that's a carries a little bit of doubt that  carries that's a questioning of father's love   for him and jesus did that when he was hurting  so it's okay to do that it's okay to complain   it's okay to whine as long as you don't do that  to everyone just do it to people that you trust   who can handle that and who can help you process  that and help you honestly kind of get out   of depression anxiety bitterness  and all other things jesus did that   and you know i have people in my life that  i'm very fortunate one of them is my wife   and i'm very careful not to bring those things  a lot of times but when i go through a very   difficult time and it's like like a broken tape  in my mind i can't i can think properly like   something just got stuck in there like some kind  of a situation or some kind of a person you know   i unwind i come and i open up to her and i tell  her things that if they would have been recorded   online you know some of you would have never  followed me you know because i'm very honest   i'm very transparent i don't hide nothing i  don't just i don't try to be a man of faith   i try to be a real deal and she doesn't judge  me she doesn't think that i lost my faith she   helps me to get through it and she sometimes will  offer a word of encouragement she would say hey   you're just having a bad day everything will  get better get some sleep go get some coffee   and uh and that's it you need to have those people  in your life and that's what jesus did number five   jesus forgave listen very carefully before they  apologized jesus forgave before they apologized   right in the middle of that suffering the  bible says is that jesus forgave them he says   father they do not know what they're doing  forgive them i find it interesting because   when you are going through a painful situation   bitterness comes from betrayal so when you get  betrayed when you get bad things happen to you   by people bitterness is the first pill satan will  offer to you bitterness will offer promise to you   relief if you take bitterness it will promise  you justification it's a right thing to do   to feel vengeance bitterness and hate  but that's demonic relief to your pain   have you noticed when jesus was suffering  they were offering offering him some relief   some sponge filled with vinegar and he declined  that when you are suffering with people satan   will offer you a relief it's called bitterness you  have to decline that and instead you have to turn   your betrayal into forgiveness not because  people deserve it not because they need it   not because they're asking for it but because  if you don't let the forgiveness be released   out of your heart they will put you on the  cross the people but unforgiveness will   keep you on that cross people will cause  you pain but unforgiveness will extend it   people will throw you in the pit unforgiveness  will imprison you there the first time they do it   you know it's not your fault the  second time when you do it to yourself   it becomes your fault you become the volunteer  why because unforgiveness puts you in the prison   where you are the prisoner you are the victim of  that unforgiveness and that pain will be relived   every day every night every year every decade  you will still blame them but in reality the   unforgiveness has made one bad event become a  bad life and will turn you into a bad person   you don't need to forgive for them you need to  forgive for you jesus forgave because honestly   that is the only way people in pain will avoid  becoming bitter becoming vengeful becoming people   that will become ruined by their pain a lot of  times people cause us wounds they all do but what   causes infection is unforgiveness what causes  healing from the wound to a scar is forgiveness   people can inflict you but it's unforgiveness  that makes you sick from that infliction   people can cause you wounds and  they will but it's unforgiveness   that will cause an infection and so for those  wounds not to be infected you have to disinfect   your heart with forgiving people forgiveness  is not a feeling because when you are hurting   you don't feel like forgiving it's a choice  forgiveness is a decision and you cannot   wait for them to change recognize what they  did was wrong or ask you before you forgive   many people this is their mistake is they're  saying once they apologize once they ask me for   forgiveness and then i'm going to forgive them did  you know that pharisees never apologized to jesus   till this day there is a large portion of jewish  population that believes what was done to jesus   was right imagine what would happen to jesus if  he had to wait two thousand years before they   apologize one day they will apologize they will  weep looking at him whom they pierced and wounded   one day that day still doesn't didn't come  but jesus did not wait to forgive them you   don't need to forgive them because they apologize  you forgive them the moment you realize betrayal   is turning into bitterness you realize the wound  is being infected in fact when you get wounded   well for example any kind of wound how many of  you know you right away you need to go disinfected   right away that's really what happens the moment  you get wounded by people difficult people toxic   people evil people crazy people weird people  people with demons people with disorders people   with honestly people who dysfunctions people who  just just got on your skin crazy people you need   to disinfect yourself right away with forgiveness  you release it you say lord i will not hold them   i forgive them for what they did whether they  did it intentionally unintentionally i forgive   them why because i do not want to be imprisoned  by this situation i don't want this situation   to relive every single day of my life they did it  once i don't want to give them the power to do it   tomorrow the day after the day after the day after  they did it once that's all but after tomorrow if   they do it again it's already i volunteered  i gave them permission through unforgiveness   through bitterness forgiveness sets you free  unforgiveness doesn't destroy them it destroys you a person who doesn't forgive thinking that i'm  gonna punish them because i'm gonna post cuss   words on youtube or facebook and i'm gonna go  online and trash their name it's like a person   who sets themselves on fire hoping somebody  else to burn from it it's only hurting you   they're probably not even noticing they  don't even know they're sleeping peacefully   while you are bleeding because you're cutting  yourself through unforgiveness and jesus forgave   and to me that's a huge example number six jesus  responded to the father he did not react to people   all throughout his dealing with people who caused  them pain some who were evil some who were weak   like his disciples some who were just vicious and  some who were just honestly ignorant and foolish   whatever the category was all throughout that  i love this because jesus did not react to any   of them it starts in the garden disciples are  sleeping you know he's like come on guys and   the bible says he left him alone he didn't go in  and tried to rebuke them for their prayerlessness   he just left him alone and then same thing  happened with one court where they accused   him second court they accused him third court  there accused him he barely spoke anything and   even at the cross the bible says they challenged  him they provoked him they threw a challenge they   said come down from the cross and we'll believe  in you i mean that's a dare could he come down   from the cross of course he could come down from  the cross he could do anything and he didn't react   he did not react he responded to  his father because at that moment   the father did not want him to save himself the  father wanted him to sacrifice himself the people   wanted him to save himself so here is reaction  to people this is what people want you to do   and this is response to the father and what people  the reaction to people and response to the father   were completely opposite and so a lot of times  when people are provoking us what we are doing   is we are reacting but we're not responding we're  not responding to heaven we are reacting to earth   we are not responding to the holy spirit we  are reacting to honestly people who provoke and   challenge us to something you know  they want us to behave in certain way   and i want to just encourage you right now if you  if you're hurt if you are in toxic place right now   instead of reacting pause and respond to the  father not to them to the father what would he   have you do holy spirit what would you have  me do and if he says nothing that means you   have to respond with nothing you have to respond  with nothing respond to him don't react to them number seven jesus was ministering even  while in misery jesus was serving even while   in suffering and some of you have  heard my teaching many times about   how you have to learn to minister even in  your valley and even in your suffering and   so and this is a really really good example  i just wanted to pause for a moment did you   are you guys receiving something right now uh  let me know if you're still watching i see the   the views but i just don't want to pay attention  too much to comments so i could just focus on the   word but let me know that you're watching also  even on ig okay so i see comments coming in   awesome awesome so you're you're receiving  something okay so good thank you thank you okay   please make this available after life i will thank  you yes we do thank you appreciate that so i'm   just going to take a moment and acknowledge some  people here okay so you guys i see you're watching   um could you take a moment if you're on facebook  because this is streamed streaming on facebook as   well could you just share this broadcast right now  i really believe the next the next three things   that i'm going to share is really going to helps  a lot of people um as well if you're if this is   really blessing you could you take a moment i know  some of you taking notes but this will also be in   my blog post next week and uh but go ahead take  a moment to share this i would really appreciate   that uh and okay still watching awesome thank  you angela thank you benjamin um sharon thank you   awesome uh i receive it alexandria god bless you  i'm on duly impactful thank you awesome awesome   okay so jesus a number so we'll just go quickly  right now over number one is jesus went into the   dealing with toxic people already prepared by  praying and a lot of times the reason why it's   so much difficult to deal with them is because  we are not prayed up prior to that number two is   that jesus marveled people caused people to marvel  by his silence not because he had nothing to say   but because sometimes the best thing you can do  is to say nothing jesus also took the beating   and we mentioned that it's okay to suffer and the  spirit of god produces the fruit of long suffering   he doesn't produce the fruit of no suffering and  so we need to embrace suffering instead of just   embrace comfort nothing wrong with comfort but  suffering is part of life and we have to learn   to take it uh number four is jesus poured out  his father heart to the father jesus was a man of   faith he was a our savior but he also complained  he has asked questions he uh poured out dallas to   his father and honestly that's that's good when  you're suffering it's healthy to have someone   to pour your heart out to to complain to to whine  to to honestly break down and cry they'll tell it   like it is but make sure that it's not in a public  forum and make sure please it's not in front of   the church let me just take a moment and pause i'm  not going to mention where i saw this i was in one   service where a person a leader very good leader  powerful leader a pastor of the church got up in   front of the young people and told them that two  weeks before this event he tried to commit suicide   and he's still a pastor at the time and the  crazy part this is what he said he says i told   no one about this and of course all the people  start crying all the youth and kids came to   the front start praying for him i looked to the  organizer and i said i said this is a disaster   i said you should never ever allow this to happen  this is not being vulnerable it's being coward   stupid foolish and dumb why these kids are looking  at the guy twice as old as them who they want to   be like is going through something difficult and  he's opening up to them and then we're trying to   ask these kids to join and become ministers  so what so they can all try to commit suicide   and i was like what kind of a presentation  of ministry that is and i'm all for being   vulnerable and those of you who follow my ministry  you know one thing i i say a lot of stuff that are   real and raw okay but there are things that you're  going through with people you can't talk about it   right away to everyone why because not everybody  can understand it could really destroy people   you really have to know who you're going to  say that to and speak to somebody in confidence   somebody who can help you to process those  feelings don't get up on sunday morning and say   well just want to let you know that you know  this is what's happening to me that's that that's   really horrible you're going to lose your ministry  like that and if you won't lose your ministry you   will lose your influence it because there's a fine  line between between vulnerable and being stupid   okay i know that we all want to be vulnerable  it's a cool new thing now to be vulnerable but   there's a wisdom in vulnerability and you have to  have right people i this is for me how i see it if   you're not vulnerable with the right people first  and then you're vulnerable with the whole church   that's not vulnerability okay you're just looking  for sympathy and you're just scared to tell   somebody who can actually correct you who can  guide you who can pray for you because then you   throw it out in front of everybody and guess what  happens you're only going to get sympathy instead   of help and so that's why it's very important to  open up the right people jesus forgave before they   apologize jesus responded to the father he did  not react to people jesus ministered while he was   suffering he was ministering around the cross he  was ministering in the garden he was ministering   while suffering now sometimes people go through  somebody died in their family and they take a   break from ministry completely fine sometimes you  know people take a vacation or sabbatical that's   completely fine but i really don't think pain  should be an excuse for stopping your purpose   if you stop your purpose because of your pain  if you stop your ministry because of certain   suffering that you endure i'm  going to tell you one thing   there's a very high chance that suffering will  become permanent in your life i've seen this   people who stop ministry because of suffering  tend to never ever leave that suffering   the moment they leave that suffering they step  into another one it's almost like they are trapped   in suffering i'm not saying that if you continue  in ministry that that suffering will immediately   leave but it usually gets overcome faster  because life is like tennis those who serve well   seldomly lose because when you serve people and  while you're hurting who are maybe hurting more   you will overcome that for example jesus his  own family didn't believe in him jesus didn't   stop his ministry and said i'm gonna wait until  all my family serves god and then i'm going to   continue my ministry no he didn't do that bible  says in fact he continued to minister to people   his family thought he was crazy and then one  day guess what happens god reached his family   his mom was baptized with the holy spirit in  the day of pentecost james was a pastor jesus   was going through a very difficult time his sorrow  was in the soul yet he healed the man with an   ear problem that peter or somebody cut off in the  garden now this would be a good moment to stop the   healing ministry and say i don't have faith for  healing right now i can't focus straight you know   the anointing is not flowing through me because  i am suffering right now jesus still ministered   in fact he was on the cross and the guy next to  him decides to get saved it's like dude come on   three and a half years okay why  didn't you come to any of my meetings   why did you decide to get saved right now okay  i'm kind of going through stuff you know with   my father with my disciples with like pharisees  demons that are attacking me too because you know   the devil wants me no like to save myself and  this guy is like jesus uh i realized i kind of   kind of screwed up my life i just kind of want to  get saved could you um hook me up with salvation   and jesus you know what he says i got you bro  yeah of course today you'll be in paradise with me   he gets the guy saved while suffering and so  don't tell me that that's it i can't do home group   i can't evangelize i can't pray  for anybody because i'm suffering   well part of life suffering is gonna be part of  life and being able to you you still sleep right   you still eat right you still take shower correct  you still go to work okay uh so you still brushing   your teeth okay so you still can minister even  when you're in pain in fact sometimes some of our   best ministry comes out of pain the first healing  that happened in the bible happened when abraham   had the problem in his house and god used him to  heal other women his own wife wasn't being healed   joe prayed for his friends while he was suffering  joseph translated the dream of the guy like   his own dream was delayed so we see this all  throughout the bible that it's okay to minister   even when you're suffering but that's not the  only thing that jesus did i want you to see this   number eight jesus received ministry while  suffering so he not only gave ministry he also   received ministry while suffering that's very  important the first person that ministered   that prepared him for the suffering was  a woman who broke the the the fragrance   she prepared him she he jesus received ministry  some of us don't see jesus like that because we   know he's god but he was also a man he allowed the  woman to minister to him to his physical body and   disciples of course were like ah that shouldn't  be done you know why is she touching him why is   she giving him you know all of this stuff and i  want you to see that jesus says leave her alone   he says she's preparing me for for my my suffering  and then we see angels served him in the garden   we see that eventually when he died you know  women wrapped his body somebody offered his tomb   jesus received ministry from other  people people will be your greatest pain   but if you don't give up you will also experience  your greatest pleasures in life greatest joys in   life from people sometimes god will use their  words sometimes he they will give you a little   gift a prophetic word a prayer an encouragement  sometimes they'll just be there for you and it   will bring you such a huge encouragement maybe  you've been hurt by people maybe you've been hurt   in relationships and you're willing to throw down  the towel and you say that's it i give up i will   never i don't want to get anything with people i'm  going to tell you one thing if you do that as a   christian number one you're not reflecting  the character of jesus number two is that   you are never going to be in ministry because all  the ministry involves people you pretty much cut   off your purpose because god doesn't call you to  minister to animals he calls you to minister to   people he doesn't call you to minister to  angels he calls you to minister to people   even the ministry of deliverance is still  with people removing demons out of people and   so we all been bit hurt stepped on betrayed sued  attacked called with names falsely accused mocked   criticized by people all of us if you ask me i  can tell you from the beginning of our ministry   stuff that was said gossip that was spread things  that were done to our ministry by people it could   make an average christian quit this long time  ago and say i am done religious people are   crazy yeah they crucified jesus jesus still loves  people all you gotta do is you learn to forgive   and i'm gonna share at the end something that  helps me to deal with difficult people in my life   but you learn to forgive and you recognize the  same amount of pain that you experience if you   keep walking with god you will experience  even greater measure of pleasure peace   and joy from people as well you can't sometimes  get one without the other unfortunately   but that's life number nine jesus did not  associate with pharisees after resurrection   now this is where it's gonna get a  little bit uh more personal now not   just person but it's going to get a little  bit confronted is that jesus did not go back   to pharisees after he rose from the dead now  jesus got into some heated arguments with   pharisees during his ministry they really conjured  up this whole thing against him and they crucified   him falsely under false pretenses that he did  something evil but i want you to notice after his   resurrection he never showed up at any of their  parties any of their meetings he never went public   where they were present and try to prove them  anything or just show up and say hey i told you so   you bunch of losers i am the son of god and you're  going to hell jesus didn't do that he forgave them   but he also distanced himself from them  this is very important when people refuse   to change you have to forgive them still  but you have to take a distance from them   there are dysfunctional people that are difficult  people who are not repentant if you keep them   in your circle if you keep them within your  team after they keep hurting you it's no longer   them hurting you it's lack of your boundaries  that's now inflicting the pain so you have to   learn from jesus we have to learn from jesus if  people are not repentant and they keep in their   evil ways forgiving them does not mean you have to  be in their environment or they have to be in your   circle it doesn't mean you have to be close you  can love them from a distance it's the way jesus   did he did not go to pharisees afterward and tried  to be their friend he only hanged out with his   disciples with the people that celebrated him not  with those who hated him now i understand this may   come off as like okay you know block them remove  them but there are people in your life right now   that are causing you a lot of stress i call them  the jonah and what you gotta do if they're causing   your boat to rock if they're causing you a storm  in your soul you need to throw them overboard   meaning you need to put a distance between you  and them and remove them from your environment   remove them from your phone  remove them from your social media   and remove them from having access to you why  because the moment you do the storm will stop   after you forgave after you learned your lesson  love them from a distance if they did not change   love them from a distance i have people i'll  be honest with you who are blocked on my phone   few relatives some from our church who still  come and uh but they had things they came   and they attacked me they were very  close i gave them access to my life   and i don't know what was going on with them  and i they apologized some i forgave them   i still some people i still did not unblock  you may say oh that means that you don't love   them oh i do i love them a lot i just also love  myself in a healthy way my life is not very long   my energy level is not unlimited and i don't have  time to allow every mosquito to suck my blood   figuratively speaking and so i have to protect  my heart keep my heart with all diligence   and god gave me wisdom and he is giving you wisdom  jesus didn't hang out with pharisees after his   resurrection he put a distance and so some people  for example if you have a husband that drinks   okay i'm not saying you need to get a divorce  but some of you need to create a distance   i would encourage you read the book  boundaries and it will really help you   to build boundaries in your life if you have a  child that uses drugs um you don't disown you   just tell them there are consequences you can't  do that and live here oh but what is he gonna live   that's his problem as long as you're allowing  toxic bad people to be in your environment   you will live in the emotional storm you know  what the sailors did they trusted god will take   care of jonah when they threw him overboard and  i really feel like this is somebody you need to   listen to me very carefully because some of you  you are keeping a jonah in your boat right now   and you do not have peace you don't sleep right  you you can your mind is attacked and you're   thinking they will change in your boat because  you're afraid that they will drown outside of   your circle outside if you put them outside of  that closeness that they have to you and i'm   gonna give you a promise from god god has a whale  for every jonah and therefore you put him outside   you create a distance why so that you can live in  peace you know the surprising part those pharisees   probably i'm not sure exact those pharisees  but the bible says in book of acts that priests   became obedient to the lord you know the biggest  one the biggest pharisee saul so god changed them   but jesus did not got too close to them after  they did what they did and so to me it's a lesson   god can change people but i have to change the  proximity they have to me if they're not repentant   king david never hated saul never threw  the spear back at seoul but he also   moved from being in this  presence he left the palace   he said i can't take this anymore it wasn't  bitterness he said i will not live within his   proximity and a lot of christians think that it's  christian love and forgiveness to be able to live   in the palace where king saul is throwing spears  at you and they say well that's just me loving and   suffering my friend that is not long suffering  that is foolishness we have to be able to   move out of the palace or kick that person out  of our palace and say hey you can't physically   abuse me and live here you gotta leave i don't  care where oh but what if they leave me they   are going to leave you anyway then and stuff so  that's not boundaries create protection for your   heart and i see that from jesus forgiving somebody  does not mean you need to let them in your life   if god forbid somebody took advantage of you  sexually just because you forgave that person it   doesn't mean you need to see them it doesn't mean  you need to lift the restraining order it doesn't   mean that you need to be in the same service  at church it does not mean you need to be close   because you will invite the storm in your  soul create a distance and protect your heart   and number 10 jesus rose again and so  will you the suffering didn't last forever   difficult people they will last  but difficult seasons they don't   if god will change the difficult people or  sometimes he will distance you from them   but that difficult season that you maybe  are in right now will not last forever   i have a word for you from god you will  rise again you will love again you will   have a relationship again you will have  some people that will treat you good   god will bring better people into your  life than the ones that exited your life   some people in your life are like scaffolding  they come for a reason and for a season   but there will be people that will come they will  be your lifelong friends they will be your close   allies there will be people that will stay with  you for the rest of your life and they will bring   such a great joy they will refresh your soul my  friend even apostle paul was refreshed by people   coming to him and god is going to send those  people to you my friend i just want to encourage   you don't give up if you've been burned by  church if you've been burned by religious people   if you've been burned by authorities if you've  been burned by church people by your disciples   if you've been burned by bosses or employees  i'm going to tell you one thing you're not alone   jesus still has scars by people but they're  scars they're not wounds they don't hurt no more   because god wants to take your wounds and turn  them into scars and he will take your scars and   he will turn them into stars in the conclusion  i hope you are receiving something from this   in the conclusion i would like to share with you  my two questions that i ask when i am hurting   especially from people that are close to me  or people that it's very difficult to create a   distance or it's extremely difficult to get rid  of that pain it's like i'm stuck with some of   those people we all have those seasons we all have  those moments those are not necessarily bad people   they may have a bad day they might have  a certain bad character characteristic   and but this is the two questions that help me  process that question number one when i feel like   i'm being treated by somebody that's bad  and i've talked to them and i and i just   just still there it hurts i ask myself could it  be that god is feeling the same way by certain   actions of mine am i doing anything to cause him  feel the same injury in his heart am i hurting him   in the same way and what that does it causes  me to reflect it causes me to turn my anger   strong feelings and take a seat back and look  at my own heart and examine my walk with god   and i usually not in condemnation not in  trying to find something to be guilty about   but finding a perspective saying lord you've  forgiven me for greater things i've caused you   pain like this and even greater and you  still love me i can love these people as   well and so that's my first question it gives  me perspective it gives perspective to my pain   number two i usually ask myself this question  is there someone who right now is experiencing   pain from me and i don't even realize my actions  my attitudes are causing this person a pain   that someone else is causing me and that  person might not even realize i'm hurting   but could it be and it's not just could it be  it's true there's somebody right now in my life   that's probably suffering because of my  actions my words maybe in ignorance i don't   even know about it but they're hurting and  so before i go into this righteous vendant   you know to bring justice in this world and then  change and make sure everybody treats me right i   need to remove the log out of my own eye before i  try to remove the speck out of someone else's eye   and so i examined my heart and i said in any place  lord have i done this to other people or doing it   that they're doing it to me have i ignored  somebody said something behind somebody's   back as they did it about me have i you know maybe  caused pain to this person somebody else it's just   they're not telling it to me and therefore i don't  hear it as somebody is causing it to me right now   and what these two questions do for me  is they give me a sense of perspective   for my pain because otherwise pain can become so  unbearable but when you put it into perspective   it changes your approach when it changes your  approach your response can be better and so   hopefully you received something today i just want  to offer a prayer right now for those people that   are watching on instagram facebook and youtube  and um before we pray i would like to remind   you probably seeing behind me and i'm wearing  a fight back um if you would like a chapter   a free chapter already from the fight back book  go to vladimir subject.com and if you would like   to help me review the book if you say hey i  would really like to help you review the book   and you are able to leave reviews on amazon  then dm me either on instagram or on facebook   just send me a dm and let me know and i'll send  you instructions of how you can help to get the   book out on october 1st the book is going to be  officially out which will be thursday i am really   really excited for it i think it's going to be  a great blessing to so many people and so god is   going to use it for his glory but right now let's  take a moment and let's just pray lord jesus i   ask you right now for every single person that is  watching us on any platform i pray holy spirit for   those who are right now stuck in a very difficult  storm in dealing with people who are suffering   with people i pray that you will the  words that were spoken will bring healing   clarity and direction i pray for every leader that  is being hurt right now by people i pray for every   person that is being hurt by a leader i pray for  children who feel misunderstood by their parents   and i pray for parents who are feeling hurt and  injured in their soul because of the decisions   of their children i pray in jesus name that you  will help us to be full of your holy spirit lord   help us to suffer in a way that honors you  help us to go through suffering without   becoming bitter but become better help us  lord god to receive ministry and give ministry   help us to set proper boundaries in our life  and lord most importantly help us to live   in response toward you instead of reaction  toward the people in jesus name amen   thank you guys i'm going to stay for just about a  few more minutes i wanted to let you know that um   all of my content on my website is available for  free and so all of the books all of the audio   um you can go and download it's about 34 35  pieces of item and also vlad school course on   the holy spirit is ready for you to take it it's  free of charge i want to say huge thank you to   every supporter and every partner that has made it  available for me to as god placed on my heart to   give my content for free a lot of you guys stepped  in and started to respond and say hey i'm going to   support you vlad you know to pay for those things  and to cover um the expenses and to be a blessing   so that we can reach more people for christ i  just want to say huge thank you and if you have   the desire in your heart to be a partner or to  support a go to vladimir subject.com or you could   do it through paypal cash app we will drop the  links below and so i would really appreciate   that it will go into a good soil and it will help  to reach many people christ and for those who are   doing it from the bottom of my heart thank you you  are touching so many people you don't even realize   how many people's lives are being impacted every  single day and you are doing it together with   me thank you awesome so i still see people are  here today um i think my phone is going to die   off of the instagram in a second so i'm  gonna close it and then i'm gonna still   stay for a few more minutes on facebook and on  youtube um and so thank you guys god bless you   i'm not getting uh okay thank you guys um  hope i see a lot of people asking questions   um i think we answered a lot of them a lot  of people asking to be sorry guys we won't   be able to do a double live today but that  would be it instagram i'm gonna upload this   right now so share with your family and your  friends i hope this was a blessing to you and uh do your facebook let's just kind of  look at some comments and see what the uh   from singapore uh i love the lesson today you're  new to your life oh awesome awesome awesome how   they received the book again so let me just drop  the comment right now on how to get the book um so if you go to vladimir subject dot com  you can get actually all the books there um   free of charge and if you are  um interested in getting the   the free chapter excuse me it's  also there let me right now actually drop some links here as well um i don't see it actually here it's in your  computer um so that so that is pretty much   that and then i'm going to give you a school link  latschool.com and so if you go to vladschool.com   you will be able to download and you know what  we actually did is we made all the classes   available for download so you can actually  download the video classes onto your computer   i started to get a lot of requests  from people mainly from overseas who   sometimes have a difficult with the  internet or they want to play that   class in their church or in the bible school and  so we made that available and we made also the   the study guides available  so you can download them   and give them to your family and your friends  give me one second i'm going to drop one more link um okay um i'm gonna do one more thing and then let  me know guys where you are tuning in from   again i see some new some new  people um are tuning in and so   and some of you asked also how you can  donate i'm just gonna drop that here um from canada thank you alissa thank you so much  i cannot afford to um let me see right now what   we're saying here what you guys are saying um well  that's cool it's great thank you from germany ash   enrolling is a great blessing  thank you for sharing that   uh kentucky is here thank you for encouraging me  uh but i i can't afford to come born and raised a   delivery hopefully internship program so i can  afford okay honk on wow awesome i received the   free chapter from your email via email thank  you kindly um and if you wanna if you have   um read the break free and you are able to leave  reviews on amazon because not everybody is able to   do that in some countries you can't do that  sometimes i think you have to spend like 50   already on amazon before your account can do that  if you are able to do so if you read break free   and you are able to leave reviews i want you  to email me at books vladimir subject dot com   to help review the fight back book some of  you guys know that i got the opportunity to   be published by a publisher for my book and it's  it's a really great opportunity for everybody who   can do it you know definitely use it but i felt  that this was not my route because i want to be   able to offer my book for free so the day  that is going to be released on october 1st   people will be able to download the whole book  for free and so most authors don't do that and i   have friends who don't know that that's completely  fine but i really felt that this is what the lord   wants me to do um i'm huge on sacrifice i'm huge  ungiving and i think that you know we don't have   to just talk about it we have to live it and so  and this is part of my sacrifice and stuff so um   so yeah so one of the things that i'm gonna do is  i'm gonna rely on people like you guys to help me   get the word out and it's not so i can make money  because i'm gonna offer the book for free as well   it's so that people can i really believe the  book fight back is going to help people to   who are struggling with deliverance who are  struggling with receiving complete deliverance   and it's filled with a lot of stories it's filled  with a lot of examples my personal story stories   from our ministry um it's beautifully designed and  so it's gonna be a great blessing so if you feel   like hey i wanna help you review it i wanna help  to get the word out um i just dropped you an email   just let me know uh send me an email and then i'll  send you how to help review the book thank you   watching here from philippines i will see what i  can do let me look at the simple chapter so jeremy   the sample chapter is already on vladimir subject  you can already get the thank you for the holy   spirit e-course you welcome god bless you you need  live stream comment reading link dropping helper   um kingdom mindset okay can you what does that  mean uh live stream comment reading link dropping   helper so i'm using the uh stream yard right  now and so it's dropping to both of those things   and uh but i'm not sure what you mean send me a  message either on facebook or on the email and   explain what you mean i would love to learn um  unfortunately until we move to pasco from ohio   i hope you're going to move to pascal god  bless you from trinidad i'm from malaysia   today's message was really great for me to keep  a distance come on somebody very kind uh you're   very kind in your course material my church  does not allow their stuff after server oh okay so i'm just to read through  some comments to give some um   attention see if i maybe there's something that i okay thank you everybody you  guys are amazing love you all   stay strong in the lord um uh kuiz kim  i'm sorry i will not be able to send   from emails here and so you're just gonna have to  email me and just uh i love your sermons because i   came to know the holy spirit from india god  bless you personally from houston love the   teachings we follow you sir thank you um thank  you the leash and jeremiah god bless you guys   have a fabulous day or night whatever that you  are watching this from i'm going to leave this   broadcast please share this with your friends  especially with people who maybe got hurt by   church people or who are hurting the church  people they need to repent and so god bless you

Channel: Vlad Savchuk

Views: 19,423

Rating: 4.9560437 out of 5

Keywords: how to deal with difficult people, dealing with difficult people, difficult people, how to handle difficult people, how to deal with people, how to deal with toxic people, dealing with toxic people, ways to deal with difficult people, how to deal with negative people, how to deal with difficult people at work, the secret to dealing with difficult people, how to communicate with difficult people, ways intelligent people deal with toxic people, dealing with people

Id: yF0g04BuUr8

Length: 75min 40sec (4540 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 07 2020