10 Steps That A Female Covert Narcissist Uses to Bait A Married Man

thanks to their lack of empathy their sense of entitlement and the need for power and control many narcissists engage in extramarital Affairs and for those who are single they may try to get with someone who is married or in a committed relationship that said not all narcissists engage in mate coaching behavior and it is certainly not a defining characteristic of the disorder I will also say that quote unquote normal people can also be mate poachers I'm Lisa blah and today I'm talking about how a female covert narcissist baits a married man into having an affair because there are so few resources for men I am taking this specific perspective for this video so that Mendo get blindsided but especially so that their families don't end up suffering the consequences now let me first say that I'm not going to spend any time on all of the reasons you shouldn't have an affair with anyone but I will say that if you have an affair with a narcissist you will likely get way more than you bargained for okay so let's Jump Right In studies show that narcissists are more likely to go after someone who appeals to them regardless of the relationship status they may only be interested in a one-night stand however if they have assessed you and desire you as a long-term source of Supply here are the steps that they will typically follow Step One is the approach so once the narcissist decides that you are suitable to meet their needs she will be charming and she will quickly Captivate your attention while also playing it cool she may start by complimenting your achievements or unique qualities and talents these comments are meant to test your receptivity if you respond positively she will advance slowly at first using her body language to communicate her interest she will lean in brush up against your arm smile at you laugh out all of your jokes maybe even throw out a few subtle seductive remarks but without actually crossing any lines for now she's just making sure you feel special and making sure you are noticing her noticing you in Step number two she will share personal information and usually this is problems in her past relationships presenting as the victim always the victim she'll say that she's never talked about these things to anyone before but with you it just feels so easy and natural she just feels so safe with you and this tactic aims to build trust to elicit empathy and to activate your hero instincts step number three she is mapping you out here she will ask all about your interests your goals your dreams and she just seems so curious and interested in you acting like your biggest fan she gradually will maneuver the conversation towards talking about your vulnerabilities your insecurities and especially your dissatisfaction related to your marriage she wants to know what you're missing and what you're Desiring if you open up about any of your problems she knows that you are also opening the door for her to infiltrate your life in more intimate ways she will take this opportunity to plant seeds of doubt in your mind to amplify your marital issues while simultaneously providing you with immense support and validation making sure you know that you deserve so much more step four is idealization here the narcissist is idealizing you and putting you on a giant pedestal complimenting your specific strengths and giving you so much attention and admiration she either hints or talks directly about how great life would be if she could only find a real man like you making you feel incredibly desirable and Powerful at this point you're probably talking and texting more frequently she's asking your advice on things maybe it's her career or a personal issue it can be something complex or something super simple like helping her pick out what to wear for a night out with girlfriends sexy outfit number one or sexy outfit number two regardless of what she needs help with it will make you feel valued appreciated and needed you may have been trying to resist to a degree up until this point but there's no denying that you are fantasizing about her and contemplating whether you'd be better off with someone like her you start comparing your spouse to her and feeling more and more undervalued and underappreciated at home Why can't your wife be more like this at home you might start voicing your complaints pulling away from your wife focusing more and more on what's wrong what's missing that sort of thing step number five if there hasn't been any sexual activity yet the sexual tension is becoming unbearable the narcissist is using her top-notch seduction skills deliberately stimulating you visually and exciting your imagination and the more time you spend talking to her or actually with her the more you are flooded with feel-good hormones and chemicals and the more you start amplifying your marital problems in your mind and justifying why you deserve to be happier you may also try to tell yourself that you're not doing anything wrong and the narcissist of course agrees with you plays this narrative up easing your guilt you might still think that you can put the brakes on but I would dare you to try and also remind you that this may be your last chance to get out of this unscathed step number six The Narcissist will orchestrate a situation for you to be alone together maybe she needs a bit of help fixing something or needs help on a project at work and if you go she will step it up several notches letting you know that she wants you and that you can trust her to be discreet things get sexual and this experience is likely to suppress your wildest dreams bonding you to her and getting you completely hooked there will be many fleeting thrilling naughty and intense sexual encounters over the next few weeks making you feel like you haven't even been living up until now the emotional highs and desire for her are truly overwhelming you you're literally thinking about her day and night craving her presence and constantly replaying your sexual encounters in your mind at this point the narcissist will solidify the bond by keeping in almost constant contact with you she is a hundred and fifty percent into you bombarding you with explicit text messages seductive video chats and more attention and sex than you ever thought possible this is the most powerful drug on the planet in this state Everything feels like heaven you feel like you've truly found your soul mate step number seven The Narcissist creates an elaborate fantasy bubble that you will both live in in this bubble there's no dirty laundry family conflicts money issues just a Carefree life where all of your dreams come true at the snap of a finger all of your needs are met it's you know amazing just like the first date over and over full of lust and living in the moment you think sign me up you feel like you're on top of the world like you are at the center of her universe and you are completely addicted to her your marriage pales in comparison and by now you may be seriously considering leaving your wife convinced that life with a narcissist would be so much better you start making commitments promising your undying love and Devotion to her pledging your loyalty at home you're distant distracted and emotionally disconnected you may be blaming your spouse for not meeting your needs and somehow you're justifying yourself making this all your wife's fault if you have more self-awareness maybe you are taking responsibility and feeling conflicted you are probably realizing by now that there are major consequences to leaving your marriage and things are getting very real step number eight The Narcissist pulls her ultimate move and cuts you off either by ending it abruptly saying that you're not taking her seriously or she doesn't believe that you're going to end your marriage or she may pull away suddenly without any explanation going from a hundred messages a day to crickets from relentlessly pursuing you to always being too busy for you not feeling well having plans that don't include you the shift is sudden and it leaves you feeling totally deflated and devastated you wonder what you said or did wrong you may promise or even beg to fix whatever she's upset about and further commit to making good on your promises to leave your wife it is possible that she just wanted a short-term Affair and is now bored with you discarding you in favor of new Supply in this case you will feel absolutely horrible and you will have no idea what a blessing in disguise this is however the more likely possibility is that this is a ploy to make you go into a state of withdrawal but don't worry she will forgive you and give you an opportunity to prove your worth and your integrity but from now on she will be hot and cold pulling you in and then pushing you away confusing your nervous system and making you dependent on her your new drug and soon she will be the source of your pleasure your pain and your pain relief of course she will tell you that the source of your pain is your miserable marriage your indecision and your inadequacies not her where you used to get sex bombed now she is using sex as a weapon more and more you will hear about how other guys are vying for her she may mention that she's going on a date with some wealthy guy making sure you know that she is in high demand here she is activating your competitive nature motivating you to defend your turf step number nine as the relationship progresses The Narcissist True Colors start to come out you notice more and more odd behavior inconsistencies double standards and demands she intermittently throws you off the pedestal while offering opportunities for you to redeem yourself here you may hear about what a real man would do in this situation and what she needs from you if she's trying to lure you out of your marriage versus just having an affair she will try to maintain the facade but by this point she does expect you to put her Above All Else and gets jealous or angry if you show attention to anyone other than her including your wife and kids she is questioning whether you are a man of your word feeling like she's not a priority to you and she vacillates more frequently between idealizing you and being critical step number 10 hear the pressure is on and you will need to decide who it's going to be first The Narcissist will probably try to elicit feelings of guilt and obligation she will talk about how you letter on broke your promises and wasted her time then she'll go back to trying to convince you that your soul mates and she will recreate and reinforce the perfect illusion if you choose to be with the narcissist this fantasy will quickly dissolve soon she will become increasingly irritable entitled whiny passive aggressive miserable and she will be micromanaging you as though you are a child or an incompetent idiot you will find yourself trapped in a toxic cycle if on the other hand you decide to stay in your marriage and the narcissist realizes that they've lost they will be enraged remember the narcissist is in it to win and they will turn on you when they realize that they're not going to get what they want at this point she may threaten to go to your wife or to block mail you in other ways she will likely emotionally manipulate you into remaining involved with her and this is a catch-22 because by now you know that you've made a mistake and you want to end the affair but you're scared to death about what the narcissist will do if you don't comply you become an emotional hostage if you are in the situation I would strongly advise you to seek professional support to help you navigate the complexities involved in your specific situation to learn more about the female covert narcissists toxic tactics please click on the link above and if you haven't subscribed to my Channel please do so and make sure to hit the notification Bell so you don't miss next week's video which is on how to handle a situation where a toxic person will not accept that you've ended the relationship and is harassing or stalking you

Channel: Lise Leblanc

Views: 15,311

Keywords: narcissists hate you, things narcissists hate, how narcissists treat, how to outsmart narcissist, how narcissists control you, how narcissists manipulate, how to leave narcissist, leaving toxic people, vulnerable narcissism, covert narcissism, hypersensitivity, manipulative, blame-shifting, gaslighting, vulnerable narcissist, female covert narcissist, female narcissist, female narcissism, male victims of narcissistic abuse, npd, narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic personality disorder

Id: qRI1Und0V3s

Length: 14min 46sec (886 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 10 2023