🤔THINKING OF GETTING MARRIED? THEN WATCH THIS! - DR. ABEL DAMINA (COUNSEL FOR SINGLES)

if we're gonna begin to talk about single people one of the places we'll begin our journey from is from the man called joseph joseph in the bible one vital thing about joseph is if you look at the life of joseph joseph was a man of discretion he was a man of distression and and that's why a man or a lady planning to get married must be butchered enough to understand discretion now um what is this question jesus gave a teaching in the gospels he said your left hand should not know what your right hand is doing and he was not talking about hiding things behind he was dealing with discretion a lot of single people don't have discretion they just go on facebook and talk about their life they are not happy they put it on facebook very sad today they're happy they put it on facebook very happy today they are living their lives in public they have no discretion anybody can just tell what's going on around them a brother tells them i want to marry you they put it on facebook account resisting i can't resist it then they put dot dot dot the journey has just begun so everybody knows what they're talking about is that they need a relationship with somebody they live a public life they have no discretion single guys and single girls and that's one of the major problems of of of today's world no discretion i just want to live in public we want to live in public everything is on facebook you're eating you put on facebook you are everything you're doing you're living a facebook live no discretion as a young person that is in christ and as a young sister in christ and a single brother and a single lady you must learn discretion because discretion is a sign of maturity joseph was a discreet guy and we we can see that established in matthew chapter one put it up for me matthew chapter 1 verse 18. now the birth of jesus christ was on this wise yes when as his mother mary was espoused to joseph before they came together she was found with child of the holy ghost before they came together she was pregnant now look at what happened in verse 19. then joseph her husband being a just man and not willing to make her a public example was minded to put her away privately that's that's discretion he wanted to quietly decently honorably respectfully in spite of the fact that she's pregnant without his knowledge in spite of the fact that this is the girl he is going to marry and they're already in a legal relationship they've already agreed to get married they have even fixed their wedding day probably and then suddenly he finds out she's pregnant he doesn't announce it he doesn't start saying oh what will i do have you heard how can i be going out to the girl and she slept with somebody else no discretion emotional imbalance this is a matured guy he observed the pregnancy and quietly in a decent way honorably respectfully respecting her choice respecting her decision even though it undermined what they agreed on he wanted to decently nicely put her away without insulting without embarrassing and without disgracing her he was a discreet guy some of the guys were having church today they speak in tongues but they are not discreet and some of the ladies we also have in church they speak in tongues and prophesy but they are not discreet that's where maturity comes that's where emotional balance comes because if you lack emotional stability it's a sign that you're not fit to get married because you must be emotionally stable to make permanent decisions look at it then joseph her husband being a just man and not willing to make a a public example was minded to put her away privately he wanted to send out quietly the word expires because she was exposed to joseph that word expires is where you get the word courtship all right um courtship or the relationship that lives before marriage the greek word is men still it means to ask a marriage ex-spouse means to ask in marriage meaning they were not going out quietly like some young people single people do today they start going out nobody knows that they're already planning to get married they start going out before you know they start doing too much you know too much i wear blue you wear blue i wear red you wear brand now you wonder what are they matching for what are they matching for nobody has been officially informed her parents are not aware the church authority is not aware and you're already doing too much then you come to church you want to sit together and if the ushers for any reason put somebody between you you you you mark that usher he is trying to put together what god has joined us asunder what god has done where did god join it together there's a problem with a lot of young people they lack discretion joseph was exposed that means it was a known relationship by both parents that these guys had agreed to get married and they have received parental consent and parental blessing for them to begin the relationship are we in the house if you're here say i hear you so it means that relationship was an accountable relationship they had done it in an accountable manner and they were they were ready to be held accountable to that decision by good parents everybody knew that they were in a relationship in this context you can see that joseph and this lady were already planning to get married and then he discovered she was pregnant okay she was pregnant outside of the confines of marriage not willing to make a public example not willing to disgrace her publicly not willing to announce her not willing to gossip high in the church not willing to go to two brothers and say join me in prayer i want us to pray about something that is going on i'm going out with a sister not discovered she's pregnant can we can we pray about what is there to pray you're just looking forward to gossip you just want to disgrace the church you go to people you think are holding her in high esteem you go to people you think have respect for her and then you say uh brothers please two of you can you come i need i need somebody to stand with me in prayer what is the prayer about oh thank you lord the devil is a liar the devil is a liar you know i'm going out with his sister she commander i just discovered she's pregnant for somebody i was looking forward to gossip there's nothing you're looking for your body is itching you to gossip to somebody you know otherwise you don't need to talk to brothers about it the person you should talk to is your pastor straight and your pastor will advise and take whatever measures are needed to take to fix the situation and it can be quietly handled without making caricature of the president bringing the person to ridicule and to disgrace you must have emotional stability that's the point i'm driving a single guy and a single lady that is of age to marry must have his emotional stability joseph was a matured character he was able to manage the situation he was able to control the situation without making a mess out of the situation without bringing disgrace and ridicule it was matured all right so girls must be very very careful with guys who are into show bees you know guys wanting to show bees they have not even told you anything they have already started telling their friends she's my babe she's my babe and you want a babe in what category you know those brothers just when you start smiling for them they claim you they are so they are so unsure of themselves do you understand is insecurity they are so unsure of themselves just because you are smiling for them they claim you she's my babe my babe and you wonder where when how you know there are guys like that hey are you guys here am i speaking to the right people and there are also girls like that you have not even told them your mind they have introduced you to everybody my fiance is a fiancee or fiance or fiance he's a fiancee so that's my fiance you know you wonder fiance from where how where when you've got to make things clear you've got to wait for things to be specified that she's smiling doesn't mean she's agreeing you have not said anything you're just turning around like a man that is going nowhere just turning around as if you have missed your road buying home mr which is tantalizers crunches crunches in the afternoon tantalisers in the evening mr bix in the morning you're investing in a vision that is not defined say ah i like you on high heels you buy five piers and bring she collects and thanks you that's not why would she say no the blessing of the lord no clear definition then after you have invested you now say i want to marry you she says no from where i never imagined it is that why you brought all these things please i can put them in a leather bag for you are we in the house you gotta have clarity of definition just don't don't just assume things you've got to be specific you've got to be you know don't be don't live a public life live a private life the public don't care about you the public are not interested in you even at your best they are laughing at you even when you think you have impressed them they are never impressed even when you kill yourself to make the public impress you only wasted your time nobody cares about you nobody is interested in fact that you are engaged is already somebody's anger and if they say where they will break it they will break it for you why are you living a stupid you're living a fool's paradise you need discretion bible says a wise man has a wise woman is discreet he said he will guide his fears with discretion in a discretion very important emotional stability is very important and joseph showed that he was emotionally stable how he never had sex with this lady that's why i could boldly tell her that pregnancy is not mine because he never slept if he had slept with her even by mistake he would have had to take responsibility for that baby he was emotionally stable even when he felt like it he stopped it because he knew it wasn't right it takes a mature person to to to call those shots and to fix those border lines so joseph was emotionally stable he wasn't sleeping around he had cleared mission he knew what he was doing you know and he the way handle the matter showed maturity he showed stability praise the lord i said praise the lord he could have told her i don't believe that it is god that got you pregnant how can god pregnant you where is the man that i need to see that man even with all the angels visiting him he could have said it's a bad dream oh yes he could he could okay where have you ever had that angels pregnant or a woman got pregnant like that it's never been done this is the first time it ever happened in the history of creation yet joseph believed just have believed he took a report for it confirmed by the report of the angels that was enough for him and against what he felt even when he felt like putting her away when the engine stole that don't he was ready to adopt the baby he was ready to adopt the baby even though he couldn't ascertain where the pregnancy came from he was ready to adopt the baby meaning he must have really loved the girl he must have really loved the girl because if he didn't love the girl he wouldn't want to take her and the baby but he wanted her so whatever came with her that could not be traced to where it came from that it is now claimed to be a divine thing he accepted i'm teaching here it's so important a man must be able to handle crisis that's why marriage is not for children marriage is for mature people must be able to handle christ because this was crisis in joseph's hand and he handled it with distance and he handled it with excellence because he was immaturely he was emotionally matured praise the lord

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Id: B35XmZLiFpQ

Length: 14min 15sec (855 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 25 2020