Don't worry about it! I'll get theÂ
coffees, just make sure to get those  printouts in time for the meeting! All right bye! Um... two cappuccinos one latte and one green tea! Two cappuccinos one latte and one green tea That'll be 12.50 Damn it... um can I pay you back later?Â
I work literally across the street.  Your colleague sam knows me really well... No, I'm afraid our company policy doesn't allow that Please the meeting starts in five minutes and my assistant- I'm sorry man i can't help you Could you please move to the side? You're blocking the other customers... You know what it's okay it's on me Oh you shouldn't have thank you so much That's fine, it's my pleasure. I'm Mark by the way.  Alicia! Let me get your bank details,Â
so I can pay you back? Or how about you just text me later sure thank you! Two cappuccinos one latte and one green tea Thank you! Bye Mark! I don't know how you managed to turn that one around! We were so screwed! Tell me about it! But the look of frank's face when we got the deal! So good! Anyway uh tell me about coffee boy! Oh yeah he asked me out on the date! How exciting! Where is he taking you? Apparently I have to try his signature lobster risotto! A hot guy who canÂ
cook! I know right? And he's a rather talented  photographer! I checked out his website. Might even book him for our next campaign. Okay, can you please stop working forÂ
five seconds? I know... it's been too long. My mom is constantly on my case about marriage and kids She says i'm never gonna get a guy. Cause nobody likes a selfish girl That's ridiculous, okay? You are the least selfish person I know! Thanks Soph Wow! You look incredible! Thank you! Come on in! So I was going to complain about you being late but I think with you looking this good  I can find a way to forgive you what do you mean late? I thought i was at 8 pm... Nope, last time we spoke we agreed on 7:30. Really? Yep and I finished my risotto on the dot, so it might be a little cold now. Gosh I'm sorry... I must have misunderstood  you know with work and everything... That's alright. What's important now is that you're here. Wine? Yes please. It smells amazing by the way. Thanks, wait till you taste it! Is that your work?  Yeah... I did an exhibition at the V&A museum last year, and when it finished I just kept it going at my house. You're really talented! So people seem to say... Shall we? There you go! Thank you. Oh so uh how did that meeting go in the end? Which meeting? The only one I know about? The one I helped with the coffees! Oh right! Yeah um it went great! they loved our pitch  and the coffees were a nice touch so we got the deal Congrats! Glad I could help! You know what? Working marketing, I'm just so fascinated with human psychology  and it's funny to see how the smallest things  make the biggest difference. I feel the same way! It's like in photography it's the littleÂ
things... they're the only things that matter! Wow! Did you manage to get even more boxes? Who would have thought you'd have so much stuff? I know right? Well, you should have thought twice  before asking me to move in with you. Hope you're not having second thoughts! So I was thinking... as soon as you finish unpacking let's go out and celebrate! Oh my friend Hannah from New York is in town And I haven't seen her in two years so we're going out for dinner tonight... Really? Today was supposed to be a specialÂ
day for us! Are you upset? I thought I  mentioned it last week and- I was really looking forward to taking you out tonight... You know what? Let me cancel on Hannah and you and I will go out and celebrate  No, it's okay. Go have fun! Hey! Mark, I'm really sorry... The last thing I want to do is hurt your feelings You know what? I have an idea how I can make it up to you. I'm so jealous! You know what? I really need to take some time offÂ
as well... Well, you should ask Mark to take you on vacation How's that going anyway? Oh it's going great! That's awesome! Yeah, I'm very happy! It's just sometimes we get into these silly arguments... Like what? Well, he got really angry the other day, when he found that his favourite watch was broken.. I don't know must have knocked itÂ
down while cleaning or something  It's weird... can you fix it? I think so. It was just the wristband that was broken anyway... but he got so upset, he wouldn'tÂ
talk to me for like two hours! That's a bit of an overreaction I guess... Maybe it was my fault for insisting that I didn't break it . He said he was more upset aboutÂ
that, than the actual watch. Still, that's no reason toÂ
give you the silent treatment. I think he's just stressed about work. Hey! How's work? Not great... We didn't get the project. Oh that's a shame. That's the second account I lost this month I really don't know what's happening with me lately. Well, I've got some good news that just might cheer you up! I booked that huge Fendi account!  So I'll be shooting in Paris next month! That's awesome! Yeah and that's not all. I've also been invited to thisÂ
huge celebrity party tonight  and you're coming with me I don't know... I'm not really in the mood I'd rather just stay here and start working the next project It's in two weeks time and I'm- Honey, honey listen... If I keep getting jobs like this, You won't have to worry about work at all anymore Plus it's Friday and you really need to switch off So come on! Go get ready and we'll head out! I really do love you in that dress Oh by the way, try to takeÂ
it easy on the alcohol tonight.  I've noticed you've beenÂ
drinking a lot more lately. I'm not drinking that much, am I? Well, there's going to be some important people at this party tonight  I just want to make sure things go well Sure, I'll do my best Hey! You okay? Did I do something wrong? Mark? Just tell me why you'reÂ
upset? You're unbelievable! Why? What happened? You embarrassed me in frontÂ
of everyone! It was a high profile party you knew how important it was for me and all you could doÂ
was get smashed and flirt with every guy you saw!  No I didn't... I'm not blind Alicia! You know everyone was laughing at you  and how desperate you were forÂ
attention. It's pathetic! I'm sorry mark... I... I can't even remember drinking that much... Exactly! You can't even remember how much you drank!  I'm sorry, but this is the lastÂ
time I ever take you to a party! I just don't get it... I mean I did talk to people... Maybe I was flirting without realizing it What is happening with me Sophie? I'm so confused Maybe you should speak to a therapist? Mark says that you've been acting strange for a few weeks now- You talked to mark?  Yeah, he called me asking for advice He was very sweet, he just he's just concerned for you Alicia? Yeah of course... Are you okay? Yeah I'm fine... I'm fine! I have to go... Wait... Have you seen my hard drive? My presentation's on it. I think I saw it on the desk. Oh got it! Thank you! Okay, I'm off! Wish me luck! Good luck! Can you help me? I'm sorry... I'm sorry Oh got it! See I knew you'd figure it out! Okay i'm off... Are you gonna be home tonight? Yeah I should be. Cool okay... I'll see... I'll see you tonight! Emptiness rise up inside Heavy rocks pulse down my pride Pushing me down merry go round. The same old wounds drip back and forth were you here before? Please leave a message after the tone... I don't see I don't know how it got to this... Where have you been> I was just out with some friends... Why? Something happened? Have you been drinking? Why are you ignoring my phone calls? I called and texted you like a hundred times you don't give a  sh*t about whether I'm worried sick! Honey! How many times have I told you to lay off the alcohol? My presentation, it was a disaster! So what? It's just a presentation! They fired me Mark! Oh no! That's terrible news! I'm so sorry hon! You know what you should do? You should get some rest and go to bed we can just talk through it in the morning. You don't remember, do you honey ? Have you been taking those pills that Dr Rogers prescribed? Alicia, you need to keep taking those pills! You're not well and it's getting worse. Message one Where you've been? Jesus! Have you've been drinking again? You ignoring my phone calls? I called and texted you like a hundred times but you don't give a sh*t about Oh stop it Alicia!  Just look at yourself! You're so pathetic! They fired me Mark! To be honest, I don't blameÂ
them! You're useless any sign of trouble and it's straight to the bottle! You're just an alcoholic! No I'm not! I'm just being honest, but you could never handle honesty, could you? You don't mean it.. you don't mean that, you don't I don't think you deserved that job to begin with No! Now look what you've done! You ruined my floor! I don't care about you floor! Clean it! Now! F*cking useless! emptiness dries up inside heavy rocksÂ
falls down my pride pushing me down before i don't see i don't know how we got to this  i don't see i don't know how we got toÂ
this oh i don't see i don't know how it goes you
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Well..that was horrifying.
The part where her own version of events is so skewed fucks with my head so much. I used to literally record fights because I knew I would have trouble remembering the horrible shit said to me the next day.
Wish I didn't know first hand what it's like. The silent treatments. The "you embarrassed me" and I can never take you out in public again.
i liked the scene with the coasters. you know he chewed her out for that
I watched this the other day. I hate how I've been through some of this, the lifeless stare in her eyes at the end. Fuck anyone who gaslights and abuses.
And if you're the kind of woman who refuses to allow yourself to be treated this way and whose dedication to reality is strong, then you're called "intimidating" and "scary".
In malespeak...
Intimidating = you will see through my bullshit
Scary = you will hold me accountable for my bullshit
Good video. Reading the comments and some of the people arguing makes me even more happy for FDS being a female-only space!
WOW I had a boyfriend in college who would lie to me about the most RANDOM things. I always knew he was lying but just let it go bc it seemed really important to him. Like randomly where he bought my gift from it said one store on the tag he said he got it somewhere else. I’m just now realizing he was maybe trying to gaslight me?
I wonder if these guys know they’re doing it at the time? I ask because he wasn’t very smart or sophisticated and it feels like kind of a complicated strategic effort.
Either way I did end up breaking up with him in the end and then he LOST HIS SHIT but eventually went away. Bye dude ✌️
Too. Many. Women…. This happens to too many of us. Men can stomp around and say “me too” til they’re blue in the face but the reality is that they are far less vulnerable than us, especially physically…
We need to teach people how insidious this kind of abuse is, how easily it can trap someone. Because the sad reality is that most people even though they truly mean well and genuinely care in most cases… they still believe deep down that there’s something wrong with a woman when she doesn’t leave an abusive man, or if she leaves and goes back to him. I wish we could change this narrative because it hurts the woman being abused without even knowing it.
Women trapped in abusive relationships aren’t stupid. They didn’t do anything wrong. They aren’t weak when they don’t leave. They are often running on a trauma response, sometimes staying is safer because look at how many are actually killed when they try to leave… walking out the door doesn’t stop them from coming after you, or someone you love. And once you leave them it might make them angry enough to seek vengeance. And once you’re out the door you can no longer see it coming. THIS is why some women CAN’T leave
We need to change the script from “why doesn’t she leave” to “what’s this man doing to keep her there and how can we support her”
Thank you for sharing!
The way he pulled up his shorts and stormed out of the room - it triggered me. I've been too often in fights where my ex used to do the exact same thing as soon as I'd start crying and acting irrationally (his words). I now know I was forced to act out because of his inconsistent actions and it almost felt like I was losing my mind.
I hate that I have experienced this first hand without knowing what it was and I hate it more that there are so many of us who can relate to the movie. To people who see this movie and say it's obvious or why isn't the girl just leaving him - you don't know what you don't know and it only gets worse when we can't think clearly. There's a reason why it's called abuse and manipulation, not a misunderstanding.