YOM KIPPUR 2021: Here's What You Need To Know

in many cases it seems like every year we're repenting the same behavior i regretted it last year i regret it again this year and if something doesn't happen i'll probably regret it again next year because i will repeat the behavior so how do we make how do we make the regret effective in the days between rosh hashanah yam kippur which collectively are known as the ten days of repentance the ten days of chuva when we translate shiva to the english word repentance it leaves a lot to be desired because the expression the popular expression concerning chuva is to do chuva one does chuva it's like doing lunch let's do lunch is chuva really something you do if it's repentance is repentance a doing or a change of heart a change of thinking a change of mind so there is the repentance part but it's lacking the doing part when we say chuva it's not only a feeling it's not only regret resolutions for improvement it's something you do a very simple language what makes regret real it seems like a very flimsy and uh tenuous kind of a what i regret i'm sorry how do you measure that when somebody apologizes to you how do you measure their sincerity the depth of their feeling as a matter of fact when you're saying you're sorry how do you know how real the regret is how deep it goes it's rather it's rather elusive intangible now of course without the regret nothing is going to change if you don't have a change of heart why would your behavior change so you do need that emotional kind of mysterious elusive kind of thing yes you need it because without it there will be no change in your behavior the question is even with it with the change of heart are you sure there's going to be a change of behavior the answer is no you're never sure so then we blame it on the insincerity of the regret if you really regret it you would have changed your behavior since your behavior didn't change then your claim to have regretted or your new year's resolution to be better must have been pretty shallow and insincere that that's that's a harsh judgment is it possible that the regret is sincere and profound and yet it doesn't affect a change in behavior well we can debate that endlessly but it certainly is a possibility that even a deep feeling doesn't change your behavior because to go from feeling to action is a long way so the feeling can be sincere and real it just never reaches what is called the critical mass where the energy in the regret is strong enough powerful enough and far-reaching enough to actually change your behavior and that's why we seem well in many cases it seems like every year we're repenting the same behavior i regretted it last year i regret it again this year and if something doesn't happen i'll probably regret it again next year because i will repeat the behavior so how do we make how do we make the regret effective make it real so there are two things sincere regret can remain ineffective for a number of reasons the main one is the regret was too vague too general i want to be better i want to be a better husband i really need to be a better husband i have to become a better husband and i'm sincere through and through there is no part of me that says nah it's not not it's not necessary you're a good husband fine good good enough no through and through there is no part of me that does not regret the kind of husband i've been and i want to be a better husband i want to be a better jew i really do it's not maybe it's not if i really do sincerely and deeply i want to be a better friend sincerely because i have no friends i'm i'm from i'm serious i need to be a better friend i'm alone in the world it's horrible don't question my sincerity so why doesn't that happen because those ideas are too general everybody needs to be a better husband everybody but what exactly would it take for you as an individual to be a better husband and that's true of almost any rev any resolution i want to lose weight what you doubt my sincerity who doesn't want to lose weight when they're overweight sincerely maybe not desperately it's not like the doctor told me if i don't lose weight i've got a month left to live so no i'm not desperate but i'm certainly sincere why doesn't that happen because it was too it was too general yes i want to lose weight do i want to actually give up all these wonderful foods no i just want to lose weight so it's not a lack of sincerity it's not a lack of intensity it's a lack of detail i want to be a better jew of course i do what jew doesn't want to be a good you what husband doesn't want to be a good husband what child doesn't want to be a good child to their parents what student doesn't want to be a good student but that's so vague we have to apply the regret or the good resolutions to details not the general concepts we have a sunday night program for vips that you might be interested in it's informal it's questions and answers it's conversation it's really relaxed it's really pleasant enjoyable informative and kind of community-like it's a sunday night program there's a wednesday morning program for the vips and there's a wednesday night program all of it just conversation casual laid back unscripted so join us

Channel: Rabbi Manis Friedman

Views: 11,157

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Keywords: education, educational, training, torah, judaism, chabad, religion, which religion in china, judaism beliefs, judaism definition, manis friedman, rabbi manis friedman, life, inspiration, inspirational, rabbi, life advice, adive, advice, life changing

Id: CcgIBMnAtYg

Length: 10min 24sec (624 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 15 2021