Worst Console Ever - ProJared

I don't know what this is I like to go to flea markets around here sometimes you can get really good deals on games because people really don't know what they're worth sometimes you get a guy who barely speaks English who says you can buy this thing for $15 and it comes with all of this stuff how can I say no to that after a little bit of research I learned it from the company in tech those guys who make a crap ton of different accessories for the real consoles that's all I got though this console isn't advertised at all on their entire website I know it came up sometime after the Nintendo Wii because this is a Wii ripoff console the console itself is barely bigger than a Super Nintendo cartridge and weighs like a pound it only has outputs for video and one audio channel it's audios mono one channel like the NES from 1985 the game cartridges are tiny and so is the controller this thing is clearly designed for baby hands it has two-way buttons to be buttons select start and a reset button well that's handy of course it also came with two we mount ripoff controllers only these are called Genie cons it has the same buttons only it feels so flimsy that I'm pretty sure I could shatter it from mental thought alone get this when you start using the controller it begins flashing colors non-stop and for whatever reason this console may be the only one in existence that has blinking LED lights on the side I'd hate to say it but I feel like I should be in a rave I got the interact with this cartridge which has eight games in one eight different ways to see how bad this thing could be Hey yeah they're all sports games of course my favorite part so far is the seven second loop they're trying to pass off as music and by the way you'll notice that every single game on here uses an apple loop from GarageBand as music all right place kick soccer or football if you will it's pretty easy you hit a four the direction then you press it again for power then hope for the best if you score the goalie is so happy for you that he starts rocking out and when he blocks he gets so happy he jerks off to imaginary dicks I like getting the ball with his little power as possible hey by the way I'm actually playing the game with the wrong controller you're actually supposed to play it with this thing the soccer transmitter you actually take this and you strap it to your leg and then you kick to play here's the thing though all it functions as is another way to present a your kick strength or whatever doesn't actually matter it just presses a for you it's one thing to have bad motion controls but it's another thing to have fake motion controls this is stupid hey bowling that's always good well I have to pick Wallace Breen from high off life to here seriously that is him they stole this oh look how huge this Lane is that's like 20 feet wide there really isn't much to say about bowling other than watching Wally here get happy or sad but I get strikes the stuff tennis you know it's a great way to make tennis fun make it one player all right I'll play against slightly taller version of this woman wait what is actually happening here what does this mean why is there such a huge delay between her serving in the ball actually reaching here Oh quick hit every button this actually shows you how to play just mash the a button or swing the genie con rapidly and the ball cannot get past you it's a matter of time before the computer screws up it sucks what else is on here fishing okay it's lame ping-pong is the same as tennis moving on golf you know I'll give it this it's actually pretty well animated very smooth at least compared to the other games some of their button choices are weird like having to press Start to begin your swing or when it says press any key to next what they actually meant was only the select button works the game's pretty easy since the ball always goes directly to the hole with no variation you can select different clubs - overall it's not awful it's super simplistic especially since nearly every hole in the game is the same but it works world series a baseball game you swing the genic on or press a when the ball is nearby this meter shows the direction it'll go but I haven't bought a difference between them everything plays out in these weird little cutscenes riveting Wow alright well I guess my side is retired wait what what is happening here I get that it's simulating the other team batting but why do I look like this when their team looks like this but the tunnel screen looks like this I'm just gonna get a homerun so I can move on in your god this crowd there okay last game on here TV boxing calm down okay okay okay this may be the first game in existence to have an age meter all those other stats don't mean nothing compared to their age excuse me so your power war well I'm gonna fight this girl because she already looks like she's having a good time what is this out Oh Oh God what is happening I'm just mashing buttons and sometimes their life goes down come on chick there's a kickboxing what's this star meter mean I can't control where I hit sometimes punches will land but there's no sound or anything so it feels empty I like it when she falls over because she looks like a giant collapsing onto the streets also is it just me or do her legs go up way past where her vagina should be don't you taught me so obviously it's not very good but a sick part of me wishes that I had more games to play on it like at least four times as many games to play on it Braham 32 games in one and I'm gonna play them all it has a lot of pretty basic games on here not worth talking about like a clone of the game snake square which is just Tetris diamond which is a breakout clone archery which is just boring and shoe do which is Sudoku you know for the kids I want to play fireman you don't see a lot of fireman games and I but this some kind of weird breakout clone but with fireman you launch your own fireman to rescue trapped people and he puts out fires with his face you're a fireman though so make sure you pill for some cash while you're saving lives also their trumpets lon purge mowing the lawn the game my favorite I'm really glad there's no music otherwise I wouldn't be able to hear this sweet lawnmower noise so I never really mentioned it before but the controller sucks the d-pad is like the 360s but less responsive I swear to god there are times I press left only to go up or right and that really messes me up when trying to mow the lawn you only have so much fuel and hitting anything that isn't grass takes away a bunch of it it also makes your dude to say this this is way harder than it looks it took me three tries to get past the first stage I'm more impressed that they actually have more than one stage what I'm sorry the flower the game is straight-up cheating now this is Hey Zuma this is that ball launching puzzle game you see being played on those screens at every bar and Buffalo Wild Wings in America it's certainly Zuma but with the added challenge of having a really bad controller and not being able to aim properly Fox's world you push around boxes into certain areas it's a decent puzzle game by no means original but again it isn't enjoyable because of the poor controller messing up your moves not to mention degrading music and sound effects what else is on here okay fighting I can do that fighting oh god here it comes oh oh oh it's a Galaga clone it's still a decently fun game even in this unpolished form the only thing that sucks is that they don't have that cool ship capture system like in the real Galaga I've been tricked you jerks tank doesn't get much more simple than that and holy balls this game is hard you have to defend this point but it's really hard to get to the other side to defend it from again controller this is actually the most complete game I've played so far it has more than one stage result screen hell it even has power-ups I guess it isn't completely awful the only bizarre thing that I noticed is that when you shoot a tank that takes more than one hit it plays an out-of-place guitar twang yeah okay what is this shoot game oh it's actually shooting balls in balloons shooting balloons any of that god damn it it's Buster Brothers these straight up stole this from Super Buster Brothers I actually really like that game here it's lame though they're just balloons they don't pose a threat careful though because even though they're balloons sometimes they take two bullets to pop pro crack both your brother's again at this war I think this is alright you plays a small piranha eating smaller fish until you get bigger then you can eat even bigger fish it's like a new version of Odell Lake the things you need to look out for are the smiling shark who eats everything in this little crab bastard they'll kill you I thoroughly appreciate this game's excellent use of comic book style onomatopoeia when eating things it's hard not to enjoy the eating sounds of chum let's go to the other 16 games in one this kid here sure is having a good time for being about to be blown up by a missile and for missing an eye this half has a bunch of games that aren't really noteworthy either aqua mix which is a Puyo pop clone dual soccer a foosball game maze pack which is Tetris but with bombs and single pieces and pets crossing which is Frogger but with a green squeaky bunny hammer this reminds me of arcade games in the 80s you smashdown creatures so that they fall and they'll rebuild broken platforms I'm sure this idea was stolen from something but I couldn't tell you what it really didn't hold my attack I'll get hammer a sequel I assume no this is a completely different game it's a puzzle game that reminds me of wrecking crew but I have no idea what I'm supposed to accomplish here am I supposed to break everything lining three up gets me points am I supposed to escape off the top I can jump but I can't go up at all I don't know what I'm doing Harry holy crap is this going to be a double dragon game whoa I was way off what is going on here what is there in which you throw blocks into the right side and they disappear when they match up but you can only grab blocks from the right otherwise you get stuck crushed and die this isn't very good I wouldn't really cake there's a cake let me get it what I can't climb that like why would they put a cake somewhere I can't no loop legend sure game I'll go ahead and select my sense it's yet another puzzle game only here your drop balls down and have complete control of the whole time there's no urgency here just drop balls at your leisure the looping music is especially irritating on this game and see another puzzle game you push some blocks around and sometimes they disappear there's not much to say about it other than this cat thing you play as it's actually pretty cute if it was a stuffed animal I would buy it farm keeper monkey monkeys you is the monkey debuffs peaches from one side to the other side this is it this is the entire game smart bomber yeah you guys are being real subtle with this one I make a Bomberman clone if you can't even get cool power-ups there's no point in killing enemies when they respawn instantly and there's no point in hiding from explosions when they kill you anyway Tiger man this sounds baller as hell Oh yep Tiger man the time-honored story of a single soldier fighting off swarms of helicopters with just his gun which according to the title screen is a 22-gauge rifle at best but here it's a machine gun the only silence this game has our helicopter blades and explosions these helicopters are tiny and it's not a perspective thing like they're supposed to be high up in the air they're clearly in front of this two-story building hovering maybe 15 feet above Tiger man here but can we talk about how cool Tiger man is he's shooting down waves of helicopters by himself he's so badass that when he dies he keeps shooting and he doesn't just shoot his gun he pleasures it golden Gate's hey lilo where's stitch this is basically a take on Kong only you have to destroy all of your opponents on coins and then get the ball past them and as it turns out the AI cannot stop my impenetrable defense of standing there apex gun this is a good ol shoot-'em-up game and you know what it's not terrible it plays ok not good but ok this might be my favorite game on here it has everything planes shooting explosions power-ups power downs the only thing I stopped this game from being better is once again the controller this goes for every game the internet system has the controller cannot sense any diagonal direction that makes playing a shoot them up like this hard when you have limited maneuverability it's hard to get far in the game which sucks because I sure do enjoy level threes all-brick background this game is called duh while it's not called anything it doesn't have a title so I'm gonna make my own let's see how about pixie princess dandelion officer Jeff now please play as pixie princess Danny line and you squeegee a picture clean and you run from a ghost I guess he's the death-knell so this is it clean the whole picture and avoid the ghosts it's not hard at all but I can't be it because this game cheats look I did it whole picture clean life still remaining game over what this happened every time ok I've been putting them off because I don't like racing games very much but I gotta play them over speed this is the most obnoxious engine sound I've ever heard it's a good thing I have both a first person and a third person view at least hitting their car's trunk somehow sets it on fire Oh what holy crap how is that car still driving it's just wheels on fire now are you serious destroying cars makes you lose a thousand points so what's the one fun thing I can do here then makes me lose points I'm sorry did I say lose points because I meant to say it doesn't do anything at all and you're supposed to hit the giant fuel trucks that's how you get fuel back MotorStorm god damn it it's using the exact same sounds of music as over speech the exact same ones this one is even more boring it's the only game I've seen with slowdown it's not an actual race you're simply seeing how long it takes to get to the finish line and then drive into it you can't lose this game also is it just me or are those arrow signs getting smaller as I get closer to them hi last game highway racing god damn son of a the same music again the same sounds it's the same game only it's a top-down view I kind of like hitting cars in this one because it looks like your car just slap some out of the way yes got places to be of all the racing games this one is my favorite because you're going 400 miles per hour just dangerously zooming along suckas you best be watching rahama Superman so get this I was actually determined to beat this game it has three stages and the third one changes up the track so there is some progression here as soon as you beat the third stage though it goes right back to the title screen and then this happened so I'm guessing they never expected anybody would beat their game in fact I'm guessing they never expected anybody to buy this piece of crap it clearly had no kind of quality assurance put into it either it's hardware or software it's a thing yes but nobody cares about it that's why my final rating for this is a broken mare out of 10 it has no soul no love no purpose but it exists for one reason only the kids but even the dumbest of kids can see how this fails to measure up games are either too boring too hard or easily exploited for them to be fun plus the moment these kids see a real game system at their friend's house they'll immediately know that they got shafted on what gaming should be there are numerous we ripoff consoles but seeing is out this one straight-up bakes it's motion controls it's one of the worst there isn't a single game on here that can hold anybody's attention for more than a few minutes which is probably why it comes with so many I did think of a use for the console though with all the controllers and extra accessories that it comes with you can always pop those right on there and then you can make these into bludgeoning weapons just in case an intruder comes into your house where you will be promptly shot for the news Pro Jared updates be sure to follow me on Facebook and Twitter or subscribe to me on youtube or equip my channel on normal boots in the meantime feel free to watch my other videos thanks for watching bye bye

Channel: ProJared

Views: 8,556,132

Keywords: projared, worst console ever, console, intec, interact, intec interact, ripoff, rip off, rip-off, wii

Id: K0-NdIcjmCE

Length: 19min 27sec (1167 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 03 2014