Kid Klown in Crazy Chase - ProJared

[Music] [Applause] [Music] nobody likes clowns ever not even just those who have a phobia of them Pennywise the equally terrifying Ronald McDonald or even fraking Bozo made us all at one point say to ourselves hey you know what I want to watch that die in a fire and for me personally that clown was kid clown in Crazy Chase oh how cute they spelled clown with a K so that it matches kid but jez talk about a missed opportunity anyway the plot and kid clown in Crazy case is surprisingly long for a game about you know clowns oh no Blackjack the evil space pirate clown kidnapped Princess honey of clown Planet first off princess honey she's been a clown all they did was give her a clown nose even then why is she so voluptuous I'm not comfortable with the idea of sexy clowns don't Google that and there really isn't all that much evil about Blackjack he kidnaps princess honey so that King clown gives him the entire clown Planet dude you got a space whale screw clown planet please kid clown save my daughter you're the only clown clutzy enough for this Mission why would you want this why would anyone want this you put him in a high-tech space vehicle you just called him a clutz you really think he knows how to fly this thing even the spaceship is like dude press this button you idiot anywh who kid clown is a [ __ ] and crashes his ship back onto the planet immediately with evil Blackjack ready to harass him with bombs somehow Blackjack makes it down onto the planet first sets up one of his bombs and then kid clown crashes down nearby Blackjack lights the bomb and kid clown has to get to it before he blows up and dies and that's the game's premise running from where you crash to the bomb so you can move on to the next stage sounds simple enough but literally every single thing in this game is against you the levels the stuff in it Blackjack the game itself you only have so much health and if you die once it's game over and you must use one of your few continues and to give you an idea of how badly everything works against you right at the start you get hurt I haven't even done anything yet and I'm losing kid clown freaks when he sees the fuse burning down and immediately runs downhill towards the bomb instead of running away from the bomb gameplay consists of holding down on the d-pad to run and every single button is Jump every single one it's not that simple of course since like I mentioned earlier everything will try to kill you and this is the main gimmick of the game logs Will Roll after you you banana peels will slip you up spikes Cannons all right I get it it's supposed to be like playing a cartoon har har look at this wacky High Jinx it's so funny to see kid clown get hurt which honestly it is funny this is the original rage game cannons show up and blast your face axes fly in from out of nowhere oh hey did you like these little balloon things to get some coins or maybe some extra Health ha idiot this one crushes you this bush is trying to kill me [ __ ] you you'd think these would be extremely simple to dodge but the controls don't make it so if anything I'm pretty sure they made the controls wony on purpose so that you do get hit by stuff pressing down to start running goes from awkwardly sluggish to top speed in under a second this makes the jumping itself difficult to time or control as there's no vertical momentum and moving side to side in midair goes faster than anything else pressing up on the d-pad doesn't make you go back up the hill it only slows you down but it's like slamming the brakes on a cruise liner it has such gradual slowdown that you will mess up and if you go past an item balloon you really wanted too bad you have to move on you Rednosed Jackass the only real novelty you can get from all of this is intentionally getting hit by stuff so you can see what cartoonish animation plays out from it and to the game's credit there are dozens so it's pretty varied any humor out of this though only really applies to 4-year-old children but the worst part part is that all of these hilarious consequences have animations that go on so freaking long all the while you watch the fuse go right past you they're so long in fact there's an entire mechanic in which you mash the crap out of every button possible to speed them up so not only is kid clown getting hurt you jam up your thumbs to slap every single possible input you can every time you screw up which averages every 3 seconds because of how unreliable the controls are you do have plenty of time to reach the bum though even after getting slapped blown up crushed punctured inexplicably Blown Away by wind tripped and flattened the game generously gives enough fuse to Kick the bomb away and finish the stage allowing kid Cloud to finally what are you doing where are you going why did you run back up I have to do it all again here's the thing throughout each stage are four hidden symbols to collect Spade heart diamond and Club you have to have all four of them by the end of the stage to move on to the next if you're missing even just one of them kid clown runs all the way back up to the beginning Blackjack sets another bomb and you're doing the whole damn stage again it also means you better not miss any of these item balloons because missing even one means you might have missed a crucial item and now you realize how [ __ ] it all is considering how the controls resist your intentions don't miss a single one or it's back to the beginning making it to the end with all four symbols Nets you a special key and you finally get to move on in between levels all the coins you collect are traded in to get you so many attempts or extra time in many games to restore your health all right this is kind of neat even if the air hockey One controls like crap the second level is urban themed and ah God damn it this stage has cars fences carpet bombings and cans of coke that you can trip over or land inside it turns out yeah if you m your jump so badly to land inside the can it'll make kid clown get stuck in it which you almost kind of want to do because it's ridiculous and implausible that what yeah so it turns out some of the booby traps are actually booby Goods they'll drop or launch you into a secret stage where you dodge obstacles and grab a crap ton of coins but there's no way to tell which one of these will be a secret unless you get hit by it on purpose so you end up intentionally hitting some of these just on the off chance of hey that one looks like it could be a secret and then it ends up not being one and you lose Health time and more importantly patience stage three is a lava Mountain not much to really talk about here I guess Blackjack gets sick of waiting for all the traps because he grabs a hammer and just tries to straight up murder kid clown I did miss some icons and had to do it again but overall this stage isn't too bad stage four however sucks it's ice themed because of course it is and if you thought the controls were bad before now add in Slippery ice mechanics naturally this is the stage where the introduced too many platforming elements that you have to be a master to time properly I can never do it no matter how hard I tried this is easily the worst stage the fifth and final stage is in a dark cave limiting your visibility which isn't too bad I don't think you only really need to run from a goofy ghost in a bunch of grabby hands and that's it the game only has five levels but it isn't a happy ending in credits quite yet remember all those keys you were getting you have to rescue princess honey from her cage using these keys keys there are 10 locks you have five Keys only one lock is the correct one if you don't pick the right one a bomb explodes all over princess honey and you end up with the bad ending that means after all the effort you went through to get here it all amounts to a 50/50 chance of getting [ __ ] on in the end naturally I got the bad ending kid clown gets demoted to janitor of the castle princess honey is grumpy about it and then the game says good job jackass you're rude Ru it try again so I did I played through the entire game again dying a few times but once more reaching princess Honey's cage miraculously I chose the right lock with my final key princess honey is saved yes I did it rejoices kid clown take me back says princess honey and thus she ends up getting with Prince studle clown of clown aan bummer nice try but you didn't get all of the honey hearts oh my God remember how if you miss an icon you have to go back to the beginning well if you get all of them in your first attempt you get a key and a honey heart you have to get five honey hearts to get the good ending to the game which means you have to perfect each stage your first time fine third playthrough now I know all the tricks and secrets I'm doubting most of the [ __ ] but still getting hit quite a bit because the Control sucks so bad I even got better at the special areas to grab more Cor it who wait what a power up holy crap this game has power ups at the end of these wow maybe I was wrong maybe this is the trick you need to get through everything I'm not doing that I'm not pressing anything oh they aren't power ups they're power Downs they make it harder for you to play everything else is designed against you why wouldn't the powerups be too God fine whatever I did it I made it to the end and I perfected each stage the first time through bam you're out princess honey Now give me the good ending so I can what what why am I getting the neutral ending again I did everything right I got all the symbols I got all the keys I only had to continue once I put the right key in the right locket I continued oh my God you can't even use a single continue [Music] you can't even continue you have to do the whole game absolutely perfect without death the first try every time and even then it's a 50/50 chance at the ending fine done good [ __ ] you fifth time playing it at the cage nailed it princess honey is all over kid clown and he doesn't know what to do with his funny feeling in his pants and now you can play The Hard Mode which is exact the same as before except that you have much less time on the bomb fuse nope I'm good beating the hard mode is the only way to see the end credits of this game which I don't want to see I don't want to see the names of the people who made this because I'd rather they be forgotten forever nothing about this game was fun it was an exercise and aggravation designed solely to annoy you that's why my final rating for this game is an Internet troll out of 10 the whole game is just a means to piss you off kid clown and crazy Chase does too many cheap tactics to make you think there's more game here than there really is obviously the amount of traps obstacles and sudden damage is beyond infuriating but there's also the underlying design making you get all the items in a stage before moving on is frustrating and even then you have to do it perfectly the first time to make sure you get the good ending with only five stages and no real changes between the normal and hard hard versions you can beat the whole game in only 30 minutes that's why the developers Force so much replaying of every level to make it feel like there's more than there actually is it's a shallow agitating dick Hool of a game designed not for fun but for it to make fun of you it's like the lead designer was bullied all his life and then made this to somehow bully everyone who plays his game and he's the only one laughing and if I have to have a scar in memory forever burned into my brain from playing it then so do you so thus I present to you straight from the good ending sexy clown ass [Music]

Channel: ProJared

Views: 1,210,239

Keywords: projared, kid klown, crazy chase, kid klown in crazy chase

Id: C7YFZuG5Sb8

Length: 12min 59sec (779 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 14 2017