Why You Got Ghosted... | Russell Brand

what to do if you get ghosted have you got ghosted if you're being ghosted is there a ghosting happening is there a ghost on the loose is that what's happened to you like firstly let's see is it a natural ghosting or is it like people who just get so many messages don't you get inundated on your phone like i think i can't i've got quite a lot of whatsapp messages that still got that i've not done the let them have their blue ticks yet i can't open it i'm just i'm just is that the beginning of a ghosting that's the beginning of a ghosting because it's too much communication going on isn't there so you might not be being ghosted you might be dealing with someone that's got a lot on their plate now if you are being ghosted if it's like oh my god this person has disappeared there's probably different levels of it isn't it is it someone you've slept with then you might feel a little bit more hurt right because you've given of yourself to them and you feel a little bit you've invested emotionally you feel a bit heartbroken i'm looking at you jen because you seem like a small person who needs a good ghosting you need to be ghosted up no you don't want to be ghosted well if you are ghosted and believe me some people deserves a good ghosting then i suppose what you have to recognize is that you've invested something in a human being that they can never ever give you now it might be like oh my god but it's my sister or it's my brother it's my mother it's someone i'm in love with let's break it down this way you see we cannot project onto another person a series or set of requirements because people live in the privacy of their own experience that will see the world through the prism of their own experience and indeed their own neurosis the i have relationships in my life where i very deliberately with any communication ensure that i'm not asking for anything and i don't require a response i've got mates that are sort of people like you know a lot of male friendship particularly men my age there's not a lot of demands made now i'm a 12-step person so i have a many relationships where there is assumed uh sort of responsibility and like where we are we do have to get back to one another i try and be more reliable if someone asks me directly for help like will i need your help then i really really try and crack on with it if people are just small talking me they might get a good ghost in who needs small talk who needs chitta chatter on the telephone do you i mean there's so much going i've got children this is turning into a video of why i'm ghosting you rather than what to do if you get ghosted but like what i would say when i think about times when people have not responded to me i feel like they've got lives they're busy um the lesson is i have over calculated my significance to that person and i've misunderstood their perception of our relationship i'm therefore going to have to either order my perception of this relationship relationship or i'm going to try and cling on to that reality in the relationships with people that are complicit aware awake have the same vision and same intention as you for me the ghosting is an indication that you are placing like a word like unreasonable is subjective but expectations that are not likely to be met whether they're reasonable or not is it relevant if the other person ain't going to respond to them if it's someone you're in love with or you have slept with and they're not responding to you whether or not it is ethical right or wrong what they're doing that is something that is very difficult for you to one judge and certainly even if you reach a satisfactory verdict impose your judgment on that person that's a kind of bizarre tyranny of victimhood i would suggest instead relinquish rescind disengage ghost one two three four i declare a ghost war no i would say like if someone is not responding to you you can make if you're one if you're like a particularly devoted to your own perception and emotion you could communicate hey i thought that this this and this was happening but are you not communicating with me if that don't get a response that's it it's over and that's a tough thing to accept particularly if you've experienced a lot of rejection in your life but the process of maturation the process of individuation is a tough one and it involves wounding and scarring and it involves pain it has done for me but as a result of this wounding scarring and pain i find myself in a position when talking about something like ghosting where i feel like i'm it feels very plain to me to say that if someone is not responding to you in a way that you want them to that there is an invitation to relinquish the relationship that we spend too long in this life trying to persuade people to be something that they're not projecting our requirements and our needs onto people that are unable to fulfill them the reason we do this is because we have lost connection with our true selves and we have lost faith that there is a transcendent nutritional pranic force that can nurture and hold us therefore we give this responsibility to flawed fallible human beings who ultimately will fail us except if they're i don't know your parents and they're reliable or you're married to them but even then there is no actual guarantee your parents have hurt you haven't they the people you love most in the world have hurt you haven't they the only way you can avoid this pain or at least seek comfort beyond it is to connect with a sublime i would argue divine force within you that is not contingent on any external agent but is accessible in fact by arriving at a point of awareness of awareness itself of recognizing oh i feel rejected who is i who feels rejected what is it to be rejected who is the i that is being rejected who is that person what did i assume be willing to go on these journeys of investigation to discover a truth because in that truth is freedom the truth will set you free they say and i suppose what is meant by that is the acknowledgement that all things are transient that all relationships ultimately end so if you feel that you are being ghosted rejected neglected marginalized and maligned you have to take that as that information as uh an indicator that you have formed a non-reciprocal connection and you don't want too many of them in your life unless it's like someone you're responsible for like your children it's it's information it's an education that ghosting is data and the data is usually i would suggest it's time to let go and move on you

Channel: Russell Brand

Views: 566,755

Keywords: Russell Brand, Brand Russell, BrandThe, Russell Brand video, Russell Brand news, Russell Brand revolution, Russell Brand politics, ghosted, ghosting, what is ghosting, relationship advice, relationship help, self help, self care, anxiety, anxiety help, dating advice, spirituality

Id: NAr1FK-X4SU

Length: 7min 23sec (443 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 10 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

Dont ask why. Just move on.