Why You Cannot Stop Crying After a Break Up (Family Grief and Attachment Trauma)

I'm Alan Robarge a relationship welcome to improve your relationships where I like to talk about attachment injuries and healing from attachment trauma and for this audio/video recording I want to talk about crying all the time non-stop crying a struggle specifically after a relationship ends after a period of a breakup the relationship has you are now on your own and you're going through this grief process and you're finding the degree the intensity the amount of grief feels so incredibly overwhelming in many ways that you are coming undone or you have come undone and there's an aspect of it can feel satisfying to participate in the intensity of the grief because it affirms how important the relationship is and/or was to you it affirms the depth of the hurt or acknowledges caring so deeply for the other person at the same time it can be alarming it can feel very alarming to notice how you just can't control it you're it's very possible you're at work and you have to take a break and you have to run out to leave work go in the bathroom and cry sometimes you're finding yourself watching at home watching a TV commercial about Kleenex or something that is in you know a Hallmark card commercial and you just lose it or you're in the car you're driving somewhere and you happen to drive by something that reminds you of your previous relationship and that serves as a trigger to activate your mind and then there's a profound sense of loss that floods in and yet again you're crying so I want to address and talk about this alarming feeling the the Senate we could even have moments when this happens of feeling crazy like oh no is something really going on like I'm losing my mind and that can that can be disorienting that can be scary so I'm talking in terms of layers here there's the layer of the actual experience that the relationship is over it's understandable that there's grief it's understandable that you're grieving and then you also have this observer self that you're able to look outside of the process and you're observing and saying oh wow this is really a big deal this is actually usurping your clarity of mind it's taking over your life and that it's a full-time job to grieve this relationship and we derive a sense of comfort from comparing ourselves to other people that we have had friends or family members or assume you have had a couple friends or family members who you have witnessed or observe their grief or how they have ended a relationship and perhaps they appeared to maneuver through the process with less intensity perhaps a little more grace perhaps a little more skillfulness and so when we take back when we take in that feedback to observe how other people grieve relationships we might look at ourselves and think wow this one is hitting me much harder than how other people seem to grieve and so that's what I mean by layers we have these we have we now have these different layers where I'm looking at just at face value the actual grief and the grieving and the loss and the break-up but now I'm also monitoring and I have a I have a secondary emotional response my secondary feeling is one of fear like I'm fearing my own grief like Oh no am i losing my mind like this is just so incredibly painful it's also possible you're having some body reaction body sensations some somatic experience for some people their body starts shaking when they're grieving you might find even your solar plexus your diaphragm and your chest is vibrating and sometimes that can even sort of protrude and be visible the your heart racing sweaty palms feeling anxious feeling panicky and entering this world of grief where the current the everyday world as you know it you disconnect from the everyday world what I like to say what I call it is entering a realm and so you enter this realm of grief and it be when the relate when the break-up when the divorce when the end of the marriage the end of the relationship is so immediate it's as if we cannot function in the regular world we cannot function in the the usual realm that our mind occupies we seem to get sucked into this grief realm where everything is just so much more intense and crushing and painful and there's a repetitive mulling over of details this preoccupied mind this hyper vigilant mind this hyper aroused mind this hyper thinking mind of telling yourself the story of trying to go through the details I can remember a time when I was in this state and I needed to go to the grocery store and I could not function in the grocery store for more than five minutes I was just so overwhelmed or I don't know if you've had this experience but if you to any type of big-box store like Home Depot or Walmart or Target and a grocery store can be a similar place where there's just sensory overload with so many things on the shelf and the particular lighting can feel unwelcoming and feel intrusive and there's a transient miss to everyone busy busy busy buying their groceries doing their thing and to be there can feel so alienating for me also in that moment the grocery store represented a shared home and a domestic life and buying groceries with a partner planning meals even if I'm planning it you know for myself but gonna share it with a partner that reinforces the connection that reinforces the relationship that reinforces the emotional warmth of being in relationship and so the grocery store itself shopping for groceries represented the loss of domestic life and the loss of caring about what someone else is going to eat and or someone inquiring and caring about what I'm going to eat and there's so much of a social activity and engagement around food and planning so I'm just using this as an example being in the grocery store was this trigger and a entry point to to return or to activate being in this realm of grief and for some of us we just get so crushed and that in a way our mind throws us into this grief around this grief world and we are gone we we are living in that place for an extended period of time our state of mind is now one that's consumed by grief so initially for the point of this audio video recording is to just normalize to let you know you're not the only person who has entered a state of mind that is consumed and preoccupied with grief now there are many books there are many poems there are many writers throughout history who have acknowledged this and there are some comforts to acknowledge oftentimes it taps into what could be called a conversion experience or a transcendent experience there's something abrasively honest there's something shockingly honest about grief that there's no in this place it is very direct and it can be a period of actually it's the opposite of confusion which I'm going to speak a little bit about a paradox we're going to feel upside down and we're gonna feel like life is not able to move forward as usual we might find ourselves not being able to think clearly we'll change our eating habits will change our sleeping habits but simultaneously the paradox is that even though there's this profound emotional confusion and trying to make sense of what happened in the relationship and how did we get to this place where we've ended there's also this other quality this simultaneous awareness of this profound honesty that brings with it a no-nonsense slap in the face it's a very refreshing I say that in quote something you know sometimes it's a bit of sometimes it's not refreshing it's could be so hurtful and painful but it has this honesty there's no quality of looking at your life in and examining your life there's a Rumi poem and the poem is bird wings and the first line says the grief your grief lifts a mirror to where your bravely working and so that's that the the honest quality a kind of abrasive honesty that's hard to swallow the truth but there's this mirror and when we're living in this realm and we're simultaneous being crushed by the pain and the discomfort and feeling like we're coming undone and simultaneously having panic attacks and you know not being able to you know go to work for meaning to be late and you'd sit in your car crying or whatever it is but we also are going to notice these profound nuggets of insight these moments where we're looking in the mirror we're looking at our life or looking at reality a little differently and in a way it's like the grief realm also provides the benefit of some incredible clarity and some incredible depth of seeing and this is the place of the transformation this is how it's what's in spiritual lingo would be referred to as a conversion experience because it's in the clarity of that laser like seeing the laser like looking of you know being able to look into the mirror of who you have been who you are and who you're becoming and oftentimes that's so confrontational and can be scary so again to repeat this idea of layers I mean it's it's scary to end a relationship and to be alone it's scary to have to feel the pain of grief it's scary to enter the realm of grief and dip into experience xx 24/7 where you question yourself what the heck is going on here and now on top of it it is all so scary that it that it accompanies this this mirror that is going to reflect back to you who you've been who you are and who you're because and allow you to do some incredible life review and that life review will bring in some profound regrets and it could be healthy regrets if you don't have a solid foundation of being able to stay rooted in the maturity of life review the maturity of healthy regrets it's going to leak into there might be a flood of shame and a flood of guilt and it's really challenging in that sense it's like whitewater rafting you're in the boat on the river and you're trying to maneuver through flowing through the river the the river of healthy regrets but sometimes you're gonna get these huge waves these whitewater rapids of shame and whitewater rapids of guilt coming at you and then in that moment it's not about making sense and deepening in your understanding of the life review it's trying to have a boundary to to work with the shame so that it doesn't implode on you just to clarify also there's the the standard under a standard definition for shame is to think of it in terms of there's something fundamentally wrong with me and I'm embarrassed of Who I am as a human being and that I feel that I'm I'm flawed so it's attacking what shame shame is a is a way of thinking that is attacking my worth and I feel shame around how I'm experiencing me in the context of this relationship ending or in the context of something I said or something I did there's also this idea of healthy shame and that's where I take liberties and I introduce the idea of calling it healthy regrets this this under the the necessity to review your life and say I often refer it to refer to it as the Britney Spears school of therapeutic intervention of oops I did it again we we see the pattern and like the song Britney Spears has a song that says oops I did it again we noticed these patterns and over time if we can notice the degree to which we keep choosing something that's unhealthy we keep choosing something that's dysfunctional we keep choosing toxic relating we keep choosing partners who do not have the skill to engage emotional aware and to mental openness and then nonetheless we force ourselves to stay to try to pretend we can either change the other person or that we are going to somehow morph ourselves and change ourselves that is a form of betrayal we then have this self betrayal and to look at that from a healthy perspective there's a it or an honest perspective to have the mirror of grief mirror back to us how we have been in relationship where we've denied our sense of self and we've betrayed ourselves we look in the honest mirror of grief and what it mirrors back to us is this pattern of self betrayal and it mirrors back to us we've betrayed ourselves and there's healthy regret there now if my brain if my mind gets sucked into a shame a toxic shame it's going to draw the conclusion that there's something wrong with me I'm unworthy I'm just a mess of a person that that my worth is called into question for no other no other reason than the fact that I've I've done this and I've betrayed myself so it's it's a little bit of a sophisticated work it's challenging to use grief and grieving as a cleansing vehicle as as ache as a cleansing tool to help you evolve mature and grow and of course I don't quite know how the workings of the mind how the mind works but there seems to be something about this function of grieving that is our natural our minds natural healing ability and even if we adopt the word you know spirituality there's some kind of spiritual function and our mind the the healing and grieving allows us to transform and evolve and to come into different versions of ourselves and usually that means better versions of ourselves or deeper more aware versions of ourselves and is as you're doing this you might be noticing these patterns of your shortcomings and the idea is to fully embrace it as a shortcoming of behavior and to not use it as evidence against yourself in a judge mental way so let's return to just the reality of what I'm calling crying all the time and I often hear this from clients I often hear from people who contact me for relationship coaching I'll receive an email and someone will say please help me I can't stop crying I'm crying all the time so let's talk about some of the reasons of where that this is coming from one possibility is that you're tapping into unresolved childhood grief and that if you lived your life in your family and lived your life growing up where relationships were never fully safe or never fully realized whether you're conscious of it or not there was a quality to hoping hope really hoping that one day one day your parent will really be able to engage with you to know you maybe even for you it's it's afraid to love you to feel love to feel safe to feel trust to feel that your parent is there for you and so if you did not have this and now you're an adult and this current relationship has ended it's very possible what's happening is you're tapping into the unresolved childhood grief of holding out for the hope of one day achieving arriving being able to enter the security of finally being loved finally being seen known heard finally being understood in the way that you always believed was possible and unfortunately that has not happened with your family and then unfortunately the current relationship even if you had glimpses of it even if it happened and then now it's over and ended it's possible that the degree the intensity of the grief that you're feeling is a link a direct link to the unresolved grief from your childhood relationships in your family one way we can assess this and again of course I don't know how do I know it's your mind you know it's your complex psyche your complex mind but one one assessment tool we can use has to do with congruence has to do with looking at well what is actually happening here today right in front of me and then what is it congruent with my emotional response and again I will use myself as an example that over the years it became very apparent to me that when relationships would end I was a mess i mean i'm reaiiy really i used the phrase i get run over by a truck so a relationship ends or even before it ends i anticipate it's kind of starting to end the signs are there and I start freaking out and I feel horrible and then it ends and I'm run over by a truck the grief truck comes through and I can be devastated I can similar to what we're talking about on this video I'm crying every day I mean there have been periods in my adult life where I cried for months and months I think I you I forget the number now I feel like over the years I exaggerate so maybe I'm exact but I feel like you know the numbers there was a period of time I was living in Chicago and I would say like for three months for three or four months I monitored it and as that you know days and weeks kept passing and I feel like it went on for like three months straight for three to four months I'm like crying every day I was such a mess so that was not the only time that that happened so as I see the pattern and I realize oh wow any any relationship ends and I'm just devastated and wiped out what the heck is going on why does this seem so life-or-death to me and and why do i why do i decompensate or spiral into such profound suffering when a relationship ends because the the phrase or the idea of a relationship ending let's all be honest here it's not that shocking I mean that's it's really not shocking I mean that's that's normal we're talking about a normal reality relationships begin relationships and relationships begin relationships and relationships come and go they come and go they start they finish there's nothing shocking about this but when it seems to happen to me my whole world goes from color to black and white my whole world unravels so over I'm I had my observer self about me and I'm and I'm observing this process and I could notice the in congruence to say this particular relationship that I'm grieving the particular story the person where not my age and my life and all the details that go into making up there is something else going on because crying every day and feeling like I have just been crushed by a truck run over by a truck there's something else going on here that this cannot the intensity of the presentation and the intensity of how I am experiencing this emotional reality does not feel rooted in the current reality it feels like it's linking to something else and this was really a a door opening for me this really helped me and and the interesting thing and this might not be true for everybody but for me for whatever my psyche cannot link to childhood very easily and I'm not talking about not having memories I actually have a very good memory I have very clear memories I very specific memories but this Gris I can't just I can't it's like my brain what I've learned over the years my brain needs the current relationship the current object the other person is the object the current feelings of love the current loss of this relationship to serve as a conduit a vehicle a stand-in a replacement for the childhood grief so I'm able to grow mature process through the grief when I'm focused on the current situation of the current person and myself and this happened and that happened and it feels very alive it feels very energized it feels pertinent however in that moment if I remind myself and say well you know this level of intense grief is actually linking to childhood let's grieve childhood oftentimes when I do that I the grief does not move or does not activate and the reason that I have come up for why this is is because many of us are grieving what did not happen so here the paradox in that or just hear the the confusion it it's like it's like I'm grieving memories that never happened I'm grieving a relationship that never happened so it's totally logical then that my brain cannot latch onto any story or any real context from the past to make it Lincoln pertinent to the past the only the only thing I have to go on as an assessment tool or from a logical perspective is what I've already said in that the grief is so incongruent with the current situation that it points to there's something else happening here that is allowing this grief to flood in and in many ways for me because I have also looked at my family history and looked at my relationship with certain with family members I have been able to say well this actually all totally makes sense and I can feel the longing the childhood longing to be in relationship with family that never happened and the only way that that grief surfaces is when it is allowed to communicate or leak I'll leak through the current loss the current situation another added level to understand this is if we think in terms of attachment trauma and we think of trauma as brain functioning it's very possible that what's simultaneously happening is that trauma is getting activated and triggered and a whole host of hormones are flooding your nervous system and they are exaggerating and accentuating the intensity of what's going on so I don't want to fully describe don't want to discredit what I just said that from a psychodynamic perspective from a historical psychological perspective from a developmental healing perspective we can say yes there's some history some unresolved grief from childhood leaking into the current grief and it creates creating this lovely you know milk shake or a big a big swirl a big you know a big swirled mess of grief that now you are swimming in you're floating in and you're trying to make sense of its let's add let's put an added layer that it could also I like the phrase we turn the volume up our mind amplifies our mind intensifies seeing what's going on in experiencing the intensity when there's also unresolved trauma energy looping in the nervous system and what this would mean is that if we have attachment injuries that have coated in our brain as an unresolved trauma and unintegrated trauma that any type of loss the end of the relationship is going to trigger the abandonment trauma is going to trigger the attachment trauma around being rejected abandoned being now now alone and if you have some history of growing up usually again in your family where you experienced a certain level of abandonment or neglect or being ignored this relationship ending is going to provoke your brain functioning your brain mapping provoke your nervous system and it's going to register in your body is life or death that these are it registers as a survival response so that trauma if we were abandoned and the trigger the current relationship ends but we perceive it as something akin to an abandonment even though we're two adults ending a relationship we're two adults leaving our life able to end a relationship nonetheless our brain perceives it as this is an abandonment and so now this trauma energy is triggered and that is going to enhance the grief that we're feeling and it's so painful and this also then we find ourselves crying everyday crying constantly what is going on why is this happening another idea I want to share it's somewhat linked to this childhood idea of unresolved childhood grief but we can think in terms of a family system that we came from a family we have a culture the family culture and if we think in terms of collective energy collective memory collective experience that there's this there's not just the individual person who we call mom there's not just the individual person that we call dad and then we have the the brothers and sisters and we have the other extent you know if we lump everybody together as just family and we have a history we have memories and we have belief systems and values and if we think of this as a whole function system and at one point we were really immersed in that system and maybe you're still immersed in your family system many people create distance and pull themselves out of that family system but it's possible that collectively when the family had some dysfunction some toxicity some level of stress struggle and pain and tension that there's a collective grief there's the family grief so it's not just mom's grief it's not just dad's grief it's not just your grief it's together there's in this this field of energy in the energy field the the the system itself is holding grief and just as a quick side note we can also acknowledge the system holds anger the system holds shame the system holds embarrassment the system holds ignorant and when we start thinking in from this system's perspective we notice how certain family members can be the channel the release valve for the collective energy of the collective emotional state that is happening an easy example here has to do with anger let's say you have family there's tension there's anger but anger is not being expressed directly it's not being expressed honestly it's not being expressed in a way to protect other family members and for for the sake of of healing and for the sake of consciousness it's just being swept under the rug it's you know it's coming out sideways people are insulting each other people are arguing with each other so you have this anger that's just floating around in the room and this anger that's like this cloud of energy this cloud of anger that's just following people around well usually what happens is there's going to be a family member who unconsciously has the role sometimes it's even conscious but there's going to be a family member who's going to be the stress relief or the tension relief who is the one who controls the valve to release the family anger so what this means is this person in the family system is they have a job and their job is to be responsible for releasing anger for for everybody it's this person's job to express anger for everybody so now we get the anger this family member is the angry one he or she gets the label that you know oh that family member is angry and is the loud one is the one who creates you know all of this ruckus and creates drama and is yelling it it's very possible for the sake of what I'm trying to describe in this dynamic that the person is expressing anger for eight people it is not just his or her anger it is not just his or her personal anger he or she has a function in the family system to help purge the system of too much anger and so it will build and build and build and because mom is not owning her anger it's still floating in the room and dad is not being direct to own his anger and speak to it in a constructive way it's still floating in the room and the the children are fighting with each other and they're all upset how mom and dad are ignoring them and that angers in the room and aunts and uncles have you know unresolved conflicts that are not being addressed and so that historical anger is floating and then there's the one person who it's his or her job to express the anger then they serve the function of releasing it so I use that example to apply it to grief and that is very possible that what you are tapping into is a legacy of unresolved family grief that by right of the current relationship ending and knowing that you're also now grieving childhood relationships that were strained or stressed or never quite culminated in a level of connection that you needed it can put you back into act put you back into contact with this energetic field of grief collective grief that is the family grief and so in those moments you're not just grieving your own light you're now grieving for the family and you're grieving some of this this this legacy and your your your grieving mom and dad's unresolved great your grieving mom and dad's grief for not having been able to be in relationship with you the way they perhaps would have liked or hoped for and for whatever limitations that there had been that you can through your own compassion and your ability of empathy you're tapping into now grieving other people's grief and this can be so incredibly confusing that you're already trying to manage the crushing grief of the relationship ending but now you're you're intensifying it because your mind is linking to the family system and now you're channeling the grief of the family system one more idea that I want to add to that is everything I just described with your family system and grieving the family system our mind has the ability to tap into other people's or other people's grief as well even those who are outside of our family and what I'm talking about is this ability to feel another person's feelings yes this is empathy there there seems to be a additional dropping into a kind of a deeper level of empathy where we somatically feel in our body the experience of another person some of this is the result of having grown up in an environment where you were not able to be yourself and you needed to be hyper-vigilant or hyper aware of other people's well-being and you took on monitoring as if you're a barometer of someone else's well-being an easy example here of how this happens could be a family member who's depressed and if so much is dependent on the overall well-being of the home or the environment is dependent on if the depressed person let's pretend it's a parent and in this moment we're gonna say the father is depressed if the father is depressed everyone in the family is invested in monitoring is it a good day or is it a bad day everyone in the family is invested in is dad able to be engaged beyond his depression in order to function in a way that reassures us that we're all good we're all safe and we're all having a good time and if dad is grumpy if dad is sad if dad is lethargic is that if dad is apathetic if dad is checked out this will create tension in the marriage this will create tension in the relationships with the kids and then also if it even goes the direction let's say dad's way of coping with his depression is through self-medication of drinking or any other type of substance then what's gonna happen is the family notices oh wow in addition to the depression and the the sadness and the weight of noticing how dad disconnects now he's also drinking more and then the behaviors around drinking can also create distress and create uncertainty so everyone and let me add one more thing here let's also add let's say dad is not a good drunk dad is an angry drunk and so now so dad's depressed dad drinks sometimes and then in addition now we have to put up with his outbursts of rage and his outburst of frustration because his life is a mess and he's unable to attend to his own life and so now everyone is held prisoner in this dynamic of dads mood and dad's state of my dad's you know whatever is going on for death and this trains us to be codependent this is cut this is codependency 101 which is to be overly focused on another person state of mind that overly focused on another person period but we could say overly focused on a you know another person's well-being so if dad is not doing that well we our nervous system is designed to activate and to be say emergency emergency something's going on with dad he's very angry he's creating tension in the house people do not feel safe and comforted that fun the environment is not fun and so our nervous system is being trained and I'm speaking about this from the point of view of the kids in the home but it could also be you could already be the spouse you could be an adult in this situation your nervous system becomes very hyper vigilant and hyper aroused around the other person's well-being and we realized that I need to do some things to help safeguard taking care of the other person and if I can take care of dad's depression and if I could take care of making sure that he stays engaged well that is going to that is going to very much allow me to train myself to not look at myself so I gave that big example if I'm in what the what I'm talking about is that if we can tap into a family system where we're grieving the family's grief and we have this ability from our history to be overly concerned about others where our nervous system and mind was trained to be hyper vigilant and focused on another person's experience it's very possible we could tap into our current ex-partners life and now we're grieving his or her life as well and many people have shared with me this experience can its almost psychic it almost feels it's this this weird spiritual intuitive feeling that you can drop into the other person's suffering now some of this is your mind playing tricks on you some of it there's a certain percentage that says no this is not happening your mind is very sophisticated and because you do not have a sense of self you're in you're so enmeshed with the other person that you're mind is scripting the experience in such a way that you believe that you're feeling the other person's pain and suffering and grief and in fact you're not I in this moment I'm not going to create such a rigid absolute statement because number one how do I know if that is or isn't true but I do believe considering these I feel pretty confident saying I know how to tap into collective grief of a family system that I do think that there's something about this function of mind the function of empathy that I can tap into an ex-partners experience and I think that there's something going on beyond my own brain manufacturing and imaginary compassion or an imaginary grief of the other person's experience so take that particular one with you know use your own discernment of whether or not that does or doesn't resonate with you but the whole point of all of these examples that I'm giving is to try to put into context and to make sense that why you're crying every day is very possible that you're not just crying your own tears you're crying other people's tears as well I hope that this audio recording this this video and an audio format is helpful to you I hope these ideas just give you a little bit of comfort to say no you're not crazy yes it makes sense you're crying every day it will stop at some point it might go on for months and months I totally understand that you could be coming undone and feeling like you're really losing your marbles which is sort of the last thing I want to say is that well maybe our losing your marbles and there's a little more going on here than what I've already shared so please keep in mind that this could that that the the greed the loss of a relationship and the intensity of the grief from the loss of that relationship can be a catalyst or a Gateway experience to provoke certain states of mind or to provoke mental illness or to provoke instability in your mind and if that's the case there's a little more going on here than just grieving a relationship and if you think that is the case or you need to find out if there's more going on here by all means please see a therapist please see a professional counselor see a psychiatrist talk to someone who can do an assessment and figure out you know well what is actually going on I do offer these other this other framework to to realize for you for you to think about what is the source of all this grief and it might you might be grieving more than just this relationship just the end the end of this relationship I'll be a very painful and very life-changing it's very possible that the intensity and the amount of grief that you're experiencing is coming from all of these other sources and the purpose of this recording is for you to begin to think about well what what are all of these other sources and perhaps there's some others that we that I haven't even mentioned yet that you can you can review for yourself and think about in your own life there there might be some other avenues of grief that you're channeling simultaneously which is linking up with the current immediacy of the grief around the loss of the relationship and then you're getting this wonderful lovely cocktail I like to call it the mental health cocktail that is just really really impacting your state of mind and your you're feeling it's so intensely it is painful it is a full-time job you're not going to be able to do business as usual your life is gonna fall apart and you have got to attend to this grief so empathy to you time to learn some skills time be an attendant and take care of your entering grief world you're entering the skill of grieving it's a you're entering grief where you need to use some skills and if you don't have those skills you got to take a very practical approach and get a piece of paper and a pen and write you know skills at the top of that page and you have to begin to make it look what are your grieving skills if you don't have them how do you get them how do you use them because right now if you were in the place that I'm referring to you need some resources you need some tools in your tool bag to work with this because it is just gonna kick your butt you know 24/7 it's it's a really intense period of time and the purpose of this recording is to say I know it's intense empathy to you you can begin to map out understanding what's going on and you need to be intelligent about getting some skills using your resources to work with to be able to to move through the grief in a way that is not just crushing you but allowing you to transform and evolve and move through this as a healing process or not as a stuck process but as a healing process that has movement I hope that this was helpful please subscribe to this youtube channel if you like this video and you want to hear more just like it coming up real soon in the future and then lastly to learn more about me please go to Alan Robarge com and that's my website you'll there's some information there if that interests you thank you for listening and I will talk to you next time

Channel: Alan Robarge / Attachment Trauma Therapist

Views: 19,598

Rating: 4.9378238 out of 5

Keywords: relationships, attachment trauma, break up, divorce, grief, grieving, ending a relationship, grieving skills, acoa, coda, slaa, adult chiildren of alcoholics, codepdendency, love addiction, attachment injuries, ending marriage, alan robarge, alan robarge attachment trauma, love addiction recovery, #selfhealers, selfhealers, psychology, psychologist, holistic

Id: N2aVEMfO3qY

Length: 52min 48sec (3168 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 26 2016