Why "Perfect-on-Paper" Love Interests Always Come Second

perfect on paper when the love interest that might seem like a good one but isn't the one a good story needs conflict and when it comes to romantic stories someone's feelings usually need to get hurt for that conflict to come to a head we're now at the park where the leading lady has decided to marry the wrong guy he's nice but he's wrong for her and everyone knows it some romances use the classic love triangle formula where two near equal romantic interests compete for the protagonist's affection and audiences root for one character or the other based largely on taste other times a protagonist faces a clear choice between a good partner and a blatantly unfit one Claire go back up in the altar no Claire Claire get up on that auto right now stop it but worries the ones that use perfect on paper people try to find a little more Nuance in romantic dilemmas they put forth these characters who seem like they should be a good match for the Romantic lead but for some reason they're just not the one just as you think she's about to make the biggest mistake of her life the leading man barges through the door they're the characters who get dumped sidestepped or even left at the altar but they don't deserve it like other characters might they aren't secret villains concealing their infidelity or outright cruelty beneath an intentionally deceptive facade so what exactly makes for a perfect on paper love interest and how do these qualities differ between the male and female versions of those characters here's our take on those perfectly nice people and why Cinema keeps using them in our on-screen love stories your mom and I were perfect on paper and you know how that ended the perfect on paper guy has been a staple of romance stories especially romantic comedies for nearly as long as they've existed she always hides important things in the top drawer of her dresser she does the Trope goes all the way back to the 30s and 40s when actor Ralph Bellamy repeatedly played men who lost out in romantic rivalries against the impossibly handsome and Charming Cary Grant so what are the telltale signs of a perfect on paper guy part of his appeal is that he seems like a stable Dependable provider so you can usually tell a rom-com's protagonist is with a perfect on paper guy if he has a steady job Michael Ben Stiller's character in Reality Bites works as an executive at an MTV like cable channel which could help Elena in her filmmaking career even though he doesn't have her passion or artistic Vision do you have a lawyer or something no I don't have a lawyer I don't have a dentist I'm you know I make 400 a week and Julian the doctor played by Keanu Reeves and Something's Gotta Give offers some stability to Erica's chaotic Life as a playwright you're Erica Berry yes playwright yes what a pleasure I'm a huge fan these men are secure enough in their careers and their finances to give women space for their own Pursuits relatedly the perfect on paper guy is supportive of his girlfriend and his support is always genuine although it can sometimes come off as condescending or detached you are alone read standing fall waving boldly this type of guy is devoted to the woman in his life but he's also independent and not necessarily consumed with intense need for her because he trusts and supports her and because he has a job and a life that occupies him the perfect on paper guy doesn't feel as entwined with his partner as her true romantic interest in the story and then what I said when I gave you that ring I did too I did too it's just that when I'm when I'm with no I feel like one person and when I'm with you I feel like someone totally different and of course the final tried and true trade of the perfect on paper guy is that he's just so nice Bill Pullman's character in Sleepless in Seattle for example never gets mad at Meg Ryan for following the story of the Lonely widower she hears on the radio even when the perfect on paper guy is being broken up with he rarely exhibits any hostility towards the protagonist Walter I don't deserve you no I wouldn't put it that way but okay he's also rarely an entitled creep like some other versions of the nice guy Trope and remains truly kind-hearted even when the person he loves leaves him it's normal not to forget your first love I love you much like Ralph Bellamy some actors seem to always be playing perfect on paper guys Bill Pullman Greg Kinnear James Marsden in fact Bill Pullman was dumped on screen by Meg Ryan Jody Foster and Nicole Kidman all in the same year back in 1993. you tell me who you are I'm a man she won actors like Tom Hanks or Ryan Gosling never seem to be cast as the other guy perhaps because they're Larger than Life Stars whereas guys like Bill Pullman are cast to represent reality whether that's a good thing or something that his love interest needs to escape I would never envious of anything that you had [Music] till now here at the take we're big fans of so many movies and TV 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black bean burgers and the Greek chicken salad lettuce wraps these all made such quick and delicious dinners and totally took the guesswork out of cooking at the end of a long day go to hellofresh.com thetake22 and use code to take 22 for 22 free meals plus free shipping that's hellofresh.com thetake22 code the take 22. we can't wait to see what you whip up with America's number one meal kit perfect on paper women aren't always as steadfast as their male counterparts even if they're not being portrayed as villains boys to end their bachelor parties it's gross not to mention it's pathetic those places are filthy they often have secret villain undertones implying that there's some lack of empathy that affects their compatibility with the leading man while perfect on paper guys are so nice and supportive it almost makes them too easy and boring perfect on paper gals don't seem like as good of a fit for the Romantic hero they can be controlling and it often seems that a change in the leading man's life is necessary for him to fit with her I can't stand the way he chews on pen caps or the songs that he sings in the shower it drives me nuts the way that he hikes up his left pant leg after he's eaten too much much like the perfect on paper guys the perfect on paper woman often has a successful steady career but she tends to be much less laid back and less satisfied with her position she has a motivated goal-oriented personality can I get back to work now wow never begged you for a quitter I am not a quitter I will do this all day and that's painted as a bad thing instead of being a source of stability her career is typically a symbol of disharmony sometimes her goals are more about the relationship and less about a career for example she's dedicated to planning the perfect wedding but that's portrayed as frivolous or a distraction from the real task of building a real romantic partnership with the protagonist as previously discussed in detail you won't be singing at the wedding because of this the perfect on paper woman can often seem less interested in our leading man she usually doesn't pay him or his interests enough attention and tends to treat him more like an accessory than a life partner tell me something really how do you sleep at night I use a wonderful over-the-counter drug Ultra dorm sometimes it even goes one step further She's Not Just disinterested she's actively hiding something both perfect on paper guys and perfect on paper girls usually have pretty easy separations but it's more common for the perfect on paper girl to be harboring a secret to satisfy action with the relationship that she has been too scared to speak on no I don't want to get married these doubts are often narratively convenient for the leading man as they mitigate the potential cruelty of leaving a perfectly nice perfect on paper woman are you kidding me you're trying to dump me on the day of my wedding just look at how conveniently Idina Menzel's and James marsden's characters fall in love with each other at the end of Enchanted Two Perfect on paper rejects who end up together unfortunately for the perfect on paper woman she's often portrayed as a bit of a vapid nag compare Greg kinnear's kind and supportive character and you've got mail to Parker posies if I ever get out of here I'm having my eyes lasered I don't know if I ever get out of here where are my Tic Tacs what other times like Anna Kendrick's character and drinking buddies there's nothing inherently wrong with her she's just not quite as unpredictable and exciting as the love interest character played by Olivia Wilde I have an idea let's go swimming why not it's worth noting that there are a lot more rom-coms about a woman choosing between two different men than there are rom-coms about a man choosing between two different women in male-driven romances it's more common for the main character to have to choose between a love interest and some other kind of life entirely like a career move or Perpetual bachelorhood that offers plenty of fun but no emotional connection he's getting married what oh what a idiot when a rom-com is built around a woman it's already assumed that she's looking for a partner she's not asking whether to get married but who to get married to rom-coms are all about choices movies like sliding doors and look both ways explicitly explore how characters decisions inform the overall path of their lives romantic and otherwise but perfect on paper characters are also a way of exploring Choice they're a symbol for one kind of life that the protagonist could live a safe predictable unexciting life the protagonists of these movies often choose the movie like Rush of a true love connection over that stable committed realistic relationship it's not gonna be easy it's going to be really hard we're gonna have to work at this every day but I want to do that because I want you I want all of you forever and while that might make for an exciting Love Story it's questionable messaging yes romantic relationships are hard work with anyone but constantly rejecting perfect on paper partners for hot unpredictable Alternatives implies that long-term compatibility is tied to superficial similarities like similar attractiveness levels plus this overly simplistic choice between two symbolic options pits people against each other in competitions that may not be so clearly and neatly resolved in real life and yet this Trope like many others reveals something truthful it's scary to form a long-term romantic partnership and the perfect on paper character represents our anxiety that those Partnerships won't automatically flourish or be successful even if they do seem to check all the boxes we fight you tell me when I'm being an arrogant son of a and I tell you when you're being a pain in the ass which you are 99 of the time we have gut instincts that go beyond someone's paper qualities and those feelings should give us the courage to not just do what's expected by others but what feels right to us if it just feels like it's gonna happen right we're never gonna actually do it um look at that that was that's it that's everything that's the whole convo that's also part of the fantasy of the perfect on paper character it's reassuring to see two people who realize they're not quite right for each other before they get married or have kids or build a life together these perfect on paper characters might get dumped at the end of the movie but at least it happened in time to spare them some long-term heartbreak and maybe that's part of the happy ending we all want to find a partner we can feel certain is good not just in general but for us you don't love me me either you don't love me no but we're so right for each other I know

Channel: The Take

Views: 129,594

Keywords: James Marsden, Bill Pullman, Ralph Bellamy, Sleepless in Seattle, the notebook, malice, sommersby, enchanted, his girl friday, the awful truth, hands across the table, ben stiller, reality bites, michael showalter, the baxter, greg kinnear, you've got mail, something's gotta give, bridgette wilson, the wedding planner, amanda peet, sleeping with other people, parker posey, anna kendrick, drinking buddies, rashida jones, the office, the take, perfect on paper, the one

Id: 7apyVhhH34o

Length: 12min 33sec (753 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 22 2023