Why DougDoug is overfeeding Parkzer

now Parks I think we're ready in five let me go to the bathroom actually I too will go to the bathroom no I am back from the bathroom how to go unremarkably at parer how did the group pissing go we literally used different bathrooms that is a good idea though I need to go start it's not it's actually not a good idea to urinate at the same time into the same toilet it's possible for a structure to have more than one toilet I remember when I first moved in here I completely deflowered that toilet you just used I was here before you I collected your keys for you there's three bathrooms in this place so when Parks was visiting at one point I realized I didn't have a plunger cuz he was helping me like move in I was like we need to get a plunger for the toilet soon what if it clogs and he says well you can use the other toilet I was like well what if I what if I clog my toilet and then I clog the other toilet he was like I don't think that'll happen I like and I was like well then I'll have to deflower your toilet and there was all there was a couple days where I was threatening there was there was no threat whatsoever there I well I was threatening it for sure have you ever definitely kept talking about deflowering your toilet can we agree on that yes like all the time have you ever even used the plunger that I bought for you actually yes the other day the I'll give I'll tell you the reason why I got really really high and ate too much Jack In The Box and then I had to vomit and then it plugged the toilet not a joke you you clogged your toilet by vomiting into it yeah cuz of all the Jack in the and the I did you vomit out like a cat what does that mean like did a CAT come out of your mouth like what how do you vomit and clog the toilet because I had we had Mongolian barbecue and then the did you swallow the Jack box pole and then the cluck sandwich and then fries and then the milkshake and then the Jack in the Box tacos and then half a pint of Ben and& Jerry's ice cream and then that bag of Fritos and then we cooked a 7-Eleven pizza and I ate two or three slices of that and all that combined into a very potent mess that deflowered my toilet we've all been there every somebody said we've all been there right it's not my fault we haven't I have never been there look I it's the first time I've smoked weed in a long time and I I had the memory span of about like 3 seconds and so I would forget that I was really really full and just keep going okay I mean yes I was there for that I also ate a lot yeah I found out that if you just make food Parks feels obligated to eat it which is hilarious that's not hilarious well it's true though it's somewhat true but not hilarious we didn't have to cook the P okay Doug said at some point Doug restored enough of his senses to realize maybe we shouldn't be cooking 42,000 calories of food today so he went up to me and say hey parer I don't want to be a burden if you if we we really shouldn't cook cook that pizza if you don't want to cook the pizza you can we don't have to cook it we we've already had two and a half dinners at this point within an hour and he said that as the pizza was already in the oven and 10% because I forgot the pizza was in the oven this is like I it's just I had the memory of like 3 seconds so I couldn't remember that we I had just eaten all the food in the previous you know 4 seconds ago and then I just repeated that for like three straight hours the point is is that we should start sharing your toilet just to avoid situations like that that is not going to be helpful though yeah but what I found so we like got a 7-Eleven giant pepper Pizza literally just because I thought it'd be funny to cook that because it was so egregiously over the top and more food than we needed and then Parks was like we I pulled the pizza out of the oven later or parer did I can't remember did I do it or did you do it I did okay I feel like I tried to I did the entire cooking process but I helped I helped and then I pulled out the pizza and I had enough wherewithal to be like par you don't have to eat this this is terrible and like we're really full and he was like well I don't want it to go to waste so that's when I learned that if you just cook food around parer it doesn't matter if he wants it it doesn't matter if he's already had two dinners and it's like 1:00 a.m. and I just made a giant 7-Eleven pizza for no reason like he'll just eat it he just feels obligated to eat things so I I have a new plan where I'm going to just like go get food and then just make food and put it like just put it near him and then I guess he just feels like just think I don't want hor idea that's super funny that is super super funny like if I just 0% funny if I just like bake a ham and then just put it in your room and you're like oh I got to eat this now that's very right that's hilarious that's super super funny why would you cook a ham because you just have to eat it for some reason most people don't do that if a person walks up to them with a pizza at 1:00 a.m. they don't go guess I have to eat this they just throw it away or ignore it why would you throw away a perfectly good pizza because I bought it and you didn't want it and I didn't want it you didn't have to eat it I did anyways this is like my new plan is just to just to make things and just leave them around because he just won't let it go to waste and then I can just I can just make the the worst food ever and then I reject this plan there are fridges for a reason you know I mean he put the leftovers in the fridge and then ate them the next day because he didn't want them to go to waste it's not like I ate so there were I cut the pizza into eight slices I think you had two of them Dan ate one I ate three and then I had two the next morning which is five more than you should have eaten correct don't waste food we're not wasting food Parks or finishes at all that's what I'm saying thanks to him we aren't wasting any food that is the whole point that's what I'm saying and apparently that implies to literally anything that I cook in the house what a disaster no hold on people are saying I'm being wasteful it's not wasteful if it's going to be consumed what would be wasteful is if I kept making things that parer was like I don't want that and then we threw it out that would be wasteful making things knowing that parer will just feel obligated to eat it and not let it go to waste is not only not was very funny honestly you should be thanking me I gave you a free 7-Eleven pizza and you never even said thanks because I I was not thankful for it hey D Fant are you fattening up Parks because you plan to eat him later yeah well so Parks you've seen him he's a look I say this with love skinny guy right and unless I intervene he's not going to have enough blubber to get through the winter I don't need blubber for the winter first of all it's okay it actually is going to be with soon yeah and it's going to be a absolutely frigid like 65° here in La that is actually a little chilly it's it goes lower than that goes to like 60 at lowest it's nothing somebody made a good point if I make a horrible pizza with like the worst toppings ever in like wait hold on if I just order a Pizza Hut pizza and I have them put on like quintuple and chovies and you know I don't know bamboo like uncooked bamboo just hard bamboo would you eat it would you and I was like Hey Parks I don't want I don't want the rest of this pizza and it's like a whole pizza and I just put it next to your desk would you eat it I like anchovies um and I just remove the uncooked bamboo okay great news this is great news okay there don't really there don't really appear to be limits on what you are feel obligated to in order to not waste things I mean if it's edible then I will eat it if it's not edible but it's in a state where I can remove inedible things from it to make the core thing edible then I will do that and then eat the edible thing okay so it's just got to be edible got it I mean that's just it I just want to point out though that is a low bar like most people the bar is a bit higher particularly if you don't ask for a thing I mean I can stockpile calories today and just use them tomorrow

Channel: DougDoug Clips

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Id: 6AygSfb8kWA

Length: 7min 23sec (443 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 29 2024