Whiskey Ginger - Erik griffin - #059

what up whiskey ginger fans thank you for watching another episode of the show right now at this very moment in time I'm in Brea California come see me tonight in tomorrow if you're in the Southern California area I have that and I have next weekend the fourteenth of the Ice House in Pasadena tickets are almost all gone please get them now at Andrew Santino com if you haven't also coming up as a red rocket tour right here in 2020 I'm so excited to be going to cities I've never been to before and cities that I'm returning to it's I'm so beyond excited to go do this tour so go to Andrew Santino calm for tickets you can see all the cities I'm going to Atlanta Madison minisode uh you know Detroit Cleveland I'm going I'm going all over the place so go to Anderson do you know I come for tickets and you can check it out guys it's that time of year when you need to have your balls trimmed just in case you get caught under some mistletoe and someone's looking to fondle your nuts you got to keep your area clean you know under the tree do you let all the trimmings fall now you sweep it up every other day or so keep it clean for the guests all right keep this area clean for those that want to come over and have a little downstairs party okay do the right thing manscaped is is the company that I use to clean up my basement I love it they've got an incredible selection of tools for your tool they also have ball butter good to rub on the old nuts feels real good on your balls I got to tell you it's it's nice talcum powder was the old way baby powder the old way get some ball butter man get something it's something that's medically ready to keep your balls nice smooth no Chaffey real clean they smell good too everybody likes a good smelling sack and a clean sack dude you know because you don't want the same trimmer for your faces use for your balls it's just weird and gross I don't know why it's just I don't want my balls on my face imagine if you took your balls and hit yourself in the face he'd be so annoyed okay so you got to get yourself a trimmer from manscaped all their products are incredible and right now for Ford ISA holiday because your whiskey ginger fans you can go to manscaped com go to manscape calm and you can use that promo code like we always say is whiskey and you're gonna get yourself 20% off with free shipping clean up your nuts man make Santa proud in case he grabs a cookie and also grabs your cookies he doesn't want hair all over that it's nasty so go to manscape com use the promo code whiskey get yourself 20% off with free shipping and enjoy the episode [Music] been a long time coming ladies and gentleman welcome back to whiskey ginger my guest today is one of my favorite people on earth I say that for all my guests but I mean it once again today it's mr. Eric Griffin he's here he's black he's back he is prepared he's sick he came to my house sick was just garbage of you to come Mau sick and he was like I'm just like cancel if you're coming in sick well this is my revenge [Laughter] we had a good time on your podcast I'm glad you came over and did mine now we've now we've traded we've traded arms the fans have spoken they say that neither of us should do podcasts with other people we should do podcast with each other are they saying they're saying so many I just on my last episode you the solo episode on Thanksgiving and I don't know them wanted Thanksgiving - yeah and I just I just talked about this I was like there's no beef like like I think it's funny though I like to keep it going they said it's uh Santino Griffin gate and so let's keep that [ __ ] move it was Bobby and me Bobby's like you know I heard you here for have you heard from yeah I talked to him today he said he's feeling good looking good he's doing good sent me one of those like sweet one of those AAA messages like I love you and your really good friend and I was like oh boy good message uh hey the instructor means it whoever's yeah I was doing it for him yeah his ghost is you my message for me yeah when you get sick you get sick in Phoenix how'd you get sick no I was sick before are you done being sick the end alright this is the end I just like got that you know my sinuses are clearing out this mess you know what I mean but I'm good I got that tone that tone loke right that tone low voice but I'm good ma'am relax I'm not gonna get you sick contagion no don't carve it in the [ __ ] Mike you're so foul people have to come over here and use that now imma have to decontaminate this whole I was licking this before you gave way I'm what I wanted to get out there that everybody that goes on your podcast gets that gets sick everyone let's see who's next I'm trying to think who's gonna get a neck they're gonna be like oh man that guy's podcast yeah then you get sick every time you you you got sick before Phoenix or when you were in Phoenix no it was before Phoenix and I was like sort of recovering then it was on Thanksgiving that I was sick it was crazy would you what did you do I don't know dude I think it was just like the web change and the traveling and stuff like that sigh I just got into Canada and it was like bro I shouldn't watch I need I need not watch these Discovery Channel shows about global warming because they tell you like the weather patterns are changing they're getting worse that's getting worse for turbulence on flights do you know about this no what yes well because the weather patterns are getting stronger and they're changing more so they say like now the jet stream is getting more unstable right so the jet stream that we fly in is getting more unstable so bro we just came back from where was I Chicago I was in New York than India than Chicago it was so [ __ ] bad and I don't care I've talked about on this [ __ ] pocket I don't ever care when it's bumpy it doesn't really bother me it was so bad what's going ok well I did I grabbed the seat I grabbed the arms and the woman in in the row looked over and she's like my hands are sweating like she was so nervous she just wanted someone who like acknowledged that she was nervous did you look at her like maybe we should just in case yeah you know we did I thought about it don't you think about when a plane gets bumpy you look around who you're gonna hook up with I was gonna play look around when I was in the first class area and it was a family sitting so like it was the mom her daughter the dad another kid gonna [ __ ] the whole family then their son was sitting next to me oh he was like you know like 1890 he was like you could tell he was young like that and like it got bumpy bumpy I never grabbed me he grabbed my hand you know I mean yeah that's how scared he was some strange old man was like you know so you know I said daddy got you you gonna be if I see the best-looking one of the families that why but then the mom looked over at me like take care of my boy but is so nasty no but it was just like it's weird how people get this we're saying yeah they chant yeah the tough even tough guys do you see yeah because because it's the one thing it's the one thing that we all share the reason that the reason that like it's happy to tell airplane jokes and for some reason people got people like hey the reason that they became hecky's because it's so common is it the one thing that everyone shares I don't care how much money you make where you come from everyone if you've been on a flight you experience the same [ __ ] and the same [ __ ] is you are out of control you have zero control and when a plane gets bumpy the richest smartest guy has the exact same ability of life expectancy yeah as the dumbest poorest guy I know it levels the playing field it's like we we have zero control to win but I find myself unless it's super whatever AZ I'm just kind of like okay well you know yeah I don't care well yeah that thought of life this is it this is it see I don't think like that I don't think if this is it this is it I think it's too bad I feel like see I just go no chip I always go no way I just go no way I just keep saying nope no way no way I'm not gonna be the guy who dies today in this [ __ ] thing no way turbulence has never crashed a plane why was my house it's a guy it's a it's a dude doing it did you see that pilot I try to get on a flight drunk where was it what city was it they busted his ass he went to the security checkpoint and then turned around and went to the bathroom and right away they thought it was suspicious right they were like why did he do that you know so then came back showed his badge but but when they let him in they didn't lead him on to let him know they saw him do that [ __ ] over the cameras so they sent feds to the federal agents to the gate that he was at right stopped him from getting on the plane questioned him tested he was drunk he blew way over the legal limit and then they had gone to the bathroom where he was and he had thrown away bottles like he had forgot he had bottles in there so that's why he turned around oh he didn't even turn around because I think I'm drunk he was like get rid of this ever do this open containers got this bottle of Jim Beam I gotta Tosh no did he he he turned around it's worth later sure likes your podcast yeah shout out whatever jail you're being held in right now that's a whole nother thing the amount of I saw this on TV the other day the amount of ways people are able to sneak in [ __ ] inside a prison are there people to imprison that probably listened to the podcast I'm being dead serious people are able to get [ __ ] i phones in prison so easily I don't I think the system wants them to get stuff in so they can get more [ __ ] well cuz drugs get in there so easy phones have you seen those videos those dudes there's two dudes on the internet on like a [ __ ] iPhone being like yeah we in here we locked up if you ever seen that video or I was hilarious they put it on snapchat hum right and then they got of course they got caught but it's like there's there's a way to get anything into those things and you've got to know the system wants them to do that so they can [ __ ] you more so they can go now you just got three more months of what or is just that like they you know no one can be trusted no it's just like how qualified a person and this is no offense to people that work here prison but it's definitely to be an offensive statement go ahead yeah but it just definitely gonna be like you know you're not leaving Harvard like I want to go be a guard at prison hey man you know to me you're really shifting out some of your audience I'm really pushing out some like these are blue-collar dudes that have to like what do you want - what what's important to you but what I'm what I'm saying you want to die for like because these people in there for the rest of their life but you don't have to help them why do they help them that's my that's my I don't even by helping so much as it's like is it hurting is it hurting that a guy has a did they have a phone or they like like you know they're I don't know I don't really care I just I'm fascinated by the fact that they're always able to find a way to get you the lifers man they're in there for life you so you would help him if you regard you'd help sneaky mess it our help but I'd be like all right guys just keep it down you would help Matt's help I would I know but when I'm saying I'm not gonna bring it in my butthole you know I mean you're a guard you know they put it in here but you might have to know he was put in your pocket how would they help at the airport the captains and stewardesses have to go through security - I'm saying though a guard for prison to other people that are guarding are your friends so if you put an iPhone in your pocket to give to somebody in there none of your friends are gonna bust you at the airports different that's there that's that's different but they got guys they I'm sure there's like someone at the prison who is like the the internal-affairs type person yeah who was like keeping a watch over everybody I mean that's what the warden and whoever his second-in-command they're not part of the guard service they're two people that you don't really like yeah but I'm saying they're all friends if you're on that side of the fence and you're not a president as they're all on the same team I mean maybe they're all on the same team but this is why they are letting [ __ ] go yeah they go guys know what's going on if you want to know who where the drugs are you have two guards you don't ask like yeah yeah where these guys are dudes are the ones over here to do this also what I'm saying is like if you got hardened ass criminals like you know people that have killed and you're killing in dated they're part of gangs in the mob yeah and you're a guard acting up maybe like you know they get phone calls yeah they see your nose like you they're like just like yeah your mom that lives on there killing her [ __ ] there by tell you no good I mean woody what are you supposed to do yeah nothing what can you do what can you do so it's like how much do you want to put your family at risk yeah that's why I guards you know they should be just single dudes we should put yeah this should be single dude no family no family that's how I feel about the president United States I don't know why we're so gung-ho about a family man leading the country because this country has this falsified notion of like you should be you should have a family you should be married with kids as you [ __ ] that I think the president should be a single dude or or a single chick someone that didn't have to divert their focus from what they loved because you know anybody knows get in a relationship I don't give a [ __ ] how much you love the person it diverts your focus to a degree from what from your job no matter who you are what you do yeah specially what kind of chick you have you know it could be like like you know even if you've got the most the most chill you know my old bag is great but like she's great and supportive but I'm just saying it's still there's still a balance you still have to have a balance it's like so I always think someone in a position of that kind of power why would we want them to be someone who's married with the families people they got to worry about I want I want them to worry about nothing but the President of the United States like some [ __ ] is going on in Iran and a wife comes in like yeah but little Tommy's too you know came and that's a problem he's got to deal with you just take it put the world on hold I gotta go do it yeah yeah yeah [ __ ] that I've said that and I said if I was if I was the owner of the manager of a ball club any sport basketball baseball football whatever it was I would say in the offseason you can do whatever you want to do but when you're on my team you don't get engaged or married end of discussion yeah you do not get engaged during the season you do not get married during the season but okay I don't give a very talk about us I don't give up I don't want in fact most of the time I want these guys to not be in relationships because I want them to be hounds just go have fun and then focus on baseball don't focus on what your fiancee or your girlfriend needs to because she needs to fly to Philly to watch you play against the Astros I want none of that beef it's all it's all about the amount of money now right so like people have certain lives like I read that thing about like how Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith like how they had like an open relationship at some point I mean who knows that's also I mean whatever but I've seen all that [ __ ] things like I get it sure sure but they you okay so on a lesser level you tell you why I was like if you started talking about you know they're doing that he's like what you're not Will Smith so the punishment for not being Will Smith is a one [ __ ] marriage you're either will the best of the best of the best of all time or you're everybody else yeah yeah but I'm saying like so like athletes like you go there like well my pregnant as she's delivering twins hey [ __ ] we pay you 36 million dollars a year so she'll be a good she'll be by you I know you got a nanny you get like do you think athletes do that to each other like do you think yeah well do you think like Bradley Beal is like do you think he's like to his wife he's like you know Kauai gets to [ __ ] around and she's like cuz he Kauai yeah he want to change because Iike why I'm not know I think at any level if you're a professional athletes yeah but let's let's stop bullshitting at any point you're a millionaire mm-hmm okay at any point a multimillion any but right any point any point that your significant other is not working because of you yeah come on like there's a lot of like so that so here's my thing here's my thing you know how they look okay they try to clip they try to clip down a Donald Trump for grab them by the [ __ ] stuff and all these accusations of women and then and then Bill Clinton before him and you know Kennedy it's like I I would love to know what President didn't cheat on his wife because I gotta tell you I can unless he was gay but he was just on the side no we talked about it like that you you we can just look back and see who had the cutest secret servicemen always having young boys around it's like the chef is like your dinner's ready by the way we you know there was a president for sure who's not how have we not had an openly gay president yet that like I mean how have we not found out you know I'm saying how we not gone back him in like when he was gay like why didn't we you know you know it happened well I just can't believe we haven't cracked that go here's I don't know because here's what reason why I say that because it's like the reason why Trump is weird as president I mean it's because a million [ __ ] reasons there's a lot of right it's like he is the kind of person that shouldn't be going for that job that's all right so that's why all this stuff that he's done in his past seems weird for the president like we don't want the president dealing but because that's not a kind of guy that should be going for president yeah yeah yeah is somebody with a scattered light it's got an immaculate pass right so I could see there's nobody that's the joke none of them have an immaculate past well that's a joke no but look now it's gonna be like now it's just like okay it's carb launch like [ __ ] it not anybody could be President yeah but see I don't I disagree I think it's gonna be the opposite in fact the the people that do actually have a like a squeaky clean past why people like my stepdad I probably couldn't find anything on this guy because he's a regular - that's just a regular guy my stepdad - oh just like did the thing and did the things I think and then he's came out clean but like the problem is those kind of people we don't want them running the country see and the two squeaky clean that's but that's mother [ __ ] my stepdad mo'fucker never cheats on his taxes or [ __ ] yeah but that's a problem that's who you should have run the country bro but we all we want someone did some shady [ __ ] Trump is booked and make hard decisions hard choices right you want someone you want solid take risks do you want someone that takes risk yes all right the problem is the majority of Americans who are like tidy-up good people that really never [ __ ] up you know like maybe they've done a few like oh I stole when I was in high school you know what I mean like small [ __ ] those people aren't people that we trust in these positions of massive power because we were enamored by people that do bold obnoxious things because it's because because it's like the reward is huge if you win but they're not savvy enough well when people there's regular regular regular like let me just give an example my stepdad the other day I gave them my other car okay because I sleeve me your old car Oh carbs still are still on the lease I just tried to pay for gas and they live in a place I know they're not gonna drive around a lot so it's not gonna day I'll put on any miles and they're not gonna spend a lot of money on gas anyway we're getting in the car and he goes oh I left the insurance card upstairs he didn't want to drive the car without the insurance card being in the car it's responsible I'm like what the [ __ ] could get in the car like it's fine you know what I mean like it's like he's like that that's not a guy I want with a finger on the trigger cuz he's gonna be like I don't know if we should do this I need somebody that like and these are my Savion if you want you want someone that's willing to pull the because they they just need to make the move they need we need somebody that knows how to make the hard choices it's like that's why I always feel like I like the president being Republican and conservative yeah and ever and the people checking him being the the the the liberal so you know like a conservative with a lip with a liberal with with a mindset of someone that listens that that pays attention and what the Liberals are yeah because I like the liberals being like we have homeless what are we gonna do with the homeless and then the Conservatives like well how we gonna pay for that you are yeah we can take let's take okay what should we do how would you like we don't know just you know but we should do something that's the problem that's the liberal the Liberals they can't make choices right because they don't know how to pay for those choices and the Conservatives go what we're gonna do this we're gonna cut we're gonna cut the goulds yeah we're gonna cut the music program from school yeah so we can't you know they're like hey you know it's like hey what I'm saying is I think that you need somebody in office they can make savvy choices so that's why you have somebody who's like a shrewd businessman who knows how to fire people I have you need someone who's a tyrant like I watch that show I'm the men who built America on the History Channel by the way it is it is just filled with bad people like you just learnt you just slowly learn you're like oh my god these [ __ ] were [ __ ] like they really took advantage of almost everybody like there was the UM the biggest man-made disaster in the in the history of the United States of America was Jonestown Pennsylvania when if when the dam and a levee broke and the reason that the dam and the levee broke is cuz it was reinforced poorly because they wanted to finish this man-made lake for this Yacht Club for this [ __ ] boating and hunting club that all these big dogs like um Rockefeller Carnegie and [ __ ] that they would kick it at and so they wanted this [ __ ] boat club so they were like oh finish this [ __ ] fast dude the levees in New Orleans uh well to fix those that was on the ballot every year I believe I know you're like you guys want fixed of levees they were like no we gotta get Mardi Gras we gotta lotta these beads in these pits come out yeah so to me like that's always a thing of like people make these kind of shrewd choices so the that's what the checks and balances to me it's supposed to be like an impersonality x' it's the same kind of thing you need like you know so that's why I feel like in prisons to get back to what we were talking about yeah it's like you can't have a goody-two-shoes guard cuz he's gonna get taken advantage of they're gonna kill all they'll kill us ask somebody so savvy see what you really need is an ex-prisoner but you know how to hire like yeah yeah the ex hackers to be yeah NSA is like we need you yeah we [ __ ] this out crackheads should be running on this [ __ ] he's like listen man listen oh yes we like how do you stop a drug cartels you have to get somebody's gonna get a drug dealer a drug DS only way it works the only way so that's like you know they so you're saying the only way to get a good president in there would be you need someone who is the loose cannon because otherwise the organized dude is never gonna work organized but that's why we normally would get somebody who we've seen like have a history of politics that has done this yeah we like that we I guess we like to Apple America like tends to like someone they've seen before in the political sphere yeah but we did we didn't like that last time I mean like did you see this clip that I posted to Joe Biden by the way not to stick on politics what happened with him what he was being weird oh I need to play this clip I need to play this clip because this was awesome because of that weed thing what what we'd think yeah how you were saying like oh he doesn't want to legalize weed right as a you don't even smoke weed i I started a little CBD with some THC I started to lose yeah yeah oh my god you sound like Craig Robinson said the same thing you read what well come on man I was with you when you took your second drink alright hold on listen this is this is biden real quick huh we should put the video I'm gonna put the video up right here now we won't can yeah we will work and by the way you know I sit understand and to get hot I got Lana I got hairy legs that turned that that that that that turn about blonde in the Sun and the kids used to come up and reach in the pool and rub my leg down so it was train and then watch the hair come back up again they look at so I learned about roaches I learned about kids jumping on my lap and I've loved kids jumping on my lap and I tell you what what okay that's out of context look I know I even I said that to someone else I said even in context I don't know what the [ __ ] look at this it's at like a City Hall thing a bunch of young black kids around it's the question before I don't [ __ ] care that was insane no they used to rub my legs my leg hair would get it there how by oh there has to be a question before that let me add that explains I'll ask the question ready go mr. Biden have you ever had little kids rub your leg hair in the pool and does it look weird when it comes back up and what do you know about roaches and people sitting in your lap and he was like lemme tell ya okay it wasn't in st. whatever the question was must have been [ __ ] insane he doesn't want to be President no he this is him checking out yeah this is my god I know he doesn't want to just quit he wants to just like he wants to like was Howard Dean this you don't get anything you don't get any [ __ ] money from running I don't understand why he he thought it was even gonna be halfway fund he knew it wasn't gonna it's what he said you know it's like this is like what's the move with Citizen Kane man there's a thing about this all the time like these these men who get extreme wealth and they realize how worthless money really is in the grand scheme of like of those power people sure they go it's really power and influence over money and they and and yeah at an end but it's because of the love of the people about and the love of the people there's a certain point people want adoration people like Fame people love things that's what they go into politics yeah you know maybe they want to be famous I love when they go like I love when they say like like Trump and all these guys when they make fun of liberal Hollywood and they're like when they're like all these you know liberal wackadoo wanna be famous people every politician wants to be famous that's all they are they're just Hollywood people who aren't in television in fact if there was Twitter and YouTube and all these things people probably wouldn't have gone into politics I'd be like you know you saying if that existed yeah yeah they might have been like you know yeah but nobama might have been a big youtube star he is this [ __ ] has a deal with Netflix well now he's like now they're like I'm gonna cash in on this [ __ ] well I mean you should I mean I he would you he would he was making $250,000 a year no he wasn't that's a well as president actually they don't even make it the rest of their life I know but they don't even make that money do you make they do but it's like whatever because they're getting so much money from some from other [ __ ] these donors and [ __ ] yeah they're basically like walking universities you know what I mean where schools and colleges are like you know they caught that Lori Loughlin you know and and and her husband sneaking their kid in the USC she'd go to jail oh who knows I don't you know what's awful stupid about the whole thing everybody does this [ __ ] everyone cheats their kid in school people look over they photoshopped her her daughter into a robe it doesn't matter everybody does this [ __ ] but she got like the one got 14 days and people were like panicking we were like oh that's dad oh that's justice I was like yo I don't care who you are huh go to jail for 14 days and tell me have that [ __ ] that [ __ ] ain't a cakewalk no it's probably it's what but for somebody like her for her that was the worst 14 days of her life they probably put her in some sectioned off nice Club Med they didn't put I sold her for Snickers you know bro you shoulda seen in San Francisco I lit I lit this this we went up to this place when I was doing cobs there's this incredible bar at the top of the hill by the marina I think it is and they're famous for their Irish coffees you know an Irish coffee and they make thousands of these things and this dude comes walking in like you know kind of big shouldered and everyone has their football jerseys on cuz it's Saturday and he's got USC like a jersey on and everybody behind has USC like hats you know he's nerdy and this tables getting up now we've been there we could be like we were here that's our table you know but as they got up this they kind of snuck in and jumped on it and he looks over the woman like kind of points I mean jover me cuz we're chillin at the bar and I was like you can have it we really don't give a [ __ ] we're gonna have one I leave and she was like okay well because he paid him to get up faster and I said oh you paid him off I know I saw I saw the USC gear and she she was like excuse me I said no I saw the USC gear I knew what you guys were up to so you probably paid off this place too and she was up she was like that's not that is not nice I was like that's funny it's fun either way [ __ ] it's funny yeah institutions like this with lots of money involved when there's when it's mommy and daddy rich legacy type of schools and I'm not [ __ ] on the school I'm just saying that's how people get in they pay for their kids to get it whether they donate a [ __ ] library or whether they don't in a library they're like oh we're getting a new practice field new jersey so who the [ __ ] you think that yeah well entry kid coming learn yeah yeah that's yeah your kid can come learn because you gave us 100 million dollars what the [ __ ] wrong with that I don't know I think I don't lie in it it's fine what does it matter to doesn't cost the school nothing now to add an extra chair into a classroom to bring ok I come in and sit in well I think oh it's unfair to other kid no it's like look look everything is unfair those systems are unfair if you think you're gonna stop the wealthy from paying their way into getting what they need you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] I'd be certainly do that for the rest of time I'd be so mad at my mom to find out is she paid a million dollars for me to get into school I'll be like hey [ __ ] give me that million dollars yeah but you know yeah but the only reason you would pay a million is because you have a hundred more chillin I know but it just to me is like how about this is what the parents should have done in my opinion yeah Laura Laughlin all these dumbass rich white folks they should have just went we'll give you the to their kid if you graduated from college yeah with you know a certain degree we're gonna give you three million dollars oh you give them an incentive I scoffs analyze your kid yeah why you giving this money to the [ __ ] ether that for what we are not that that's actually that's what college to me you know Bernie wants to give everyone free college they want like college should be free here's what I think okay college is free depending on how well you exactly so if you graduate with all with straight A's yeah it's free yeah now if your season do you get a job too right you have to like secure a job yes secure a job yeah ten days after graduations and dates get the [ __ ] day you got ten days to get a job maybe 30 days yes [ __ ] give him a month okay you get 30 days you got to get a job and then and then and now it's free but but that but if it's not but if it but if you don't if you don't see if you get sees there's no gap years yeah no you pay you're paying thirty forty thousand a year that's great only going to debt if you if you [ __ ] the bed Carlos should be like the NFL yeah no no Garrity contract no guarantees you've got to work and if you [ __ ] up now you owe us yeah that's great that's not what you're worth but that's how sports should be too I think if you [ __ ] the bed in sports you you you you have to pay back some of that contract oh I think if you shut the bet in sport or golf would be like writing checks every week 25 80 grand there yeah I think if you I think if you [ __ ] them in sports you should be docked pay I think I think pay should be on a performance level not a guaranteed well because that's what we do your performance as a stand-up or we get paid based on performance do the people show up do the bike how well are you doing and how well is your growth nope in no part of entertainment and sports are a part of entertainment to someone go you're gonna get a guaranteed this money no matter [ __ ] what no matter how bad you should the bet if you and if they do it happens once and then ever again if they gave you ten million to make a movie and you [ __ ] the bed and you did a bad performance and the movies garbage you're not getting another [ __ ] movie for a long time I know but this is okay I'll tell you how it's different because in this okay into sports the players are in a partnership with the owners okay and they're splitting like 50 48 51 50 49 what do you mean what like total revenue and total revenue sure so they're splitting it so therefore the the players they're like well we have to make sure we're getting this money you know we had this this with the money but I think you like if you perform I know but I think it should be a percentage anyway I think I think I think you get a bonus when you sign a contract as a thank you and this is like a you know what does that call like a you know like a it's like a nice gift you don't I mean like a nice you know handing off and we forgive for playing this poor thank you here's the minimum everybody gets hey thank you right and then depending on your performance level then you might get this you you accrue this money as time goes on that to me would make the most sense it would it would basically be the same exact system that we have now except they're guaranteed that money so then what that does to people in my opinion is it makes people who might be great kind of like level level down a little bit play a little bit less hard be more conscious because they're like I got that money like I don't really this team is gonna win a championship like I don't have to you see it when you go to live games some guys are just kind of like named last night last night's game versed 82 at hair halftime at half the time they were beating this [ __ ] off the booze and I was sitting right next to the Wizards bench oh you were over there yeah I got some tickets now that I'm right by the Wizards bench you know so you're on your visitors bench you're on the non TV side of the floor yes I get to talk [ __ ] over there yeah John was over there he tore his ACL I think that that's that's the whole thing though you see these teams like there's guys that are they're good ball players but they don't really have to push that hard because it doesn't [ __ ] matter yeah but you would think though that we'd like to think that they also playing 82 games so they don't like if they know that this is still the best of the best like the process to get into the pros it's insane to be a player to actually play yeah you would think that they have some sort of thing in them that is a you know no to compete I can tell you though look two things give that I give them credit and I'm not discrediting fleets but they got to play a fuckload of games they have to balance their energy they have a long season right I get that I take care of their bodies yeah no I get it trust me I get you you're not gonna break yourself in a game against the Clippers were they're gonna beat the [ __ ] out of you anyway it was like 150 to 120 crazy yeah I was insane but what I am saying is I told the woman who sitting next to me she was talking about she was like I've never seen any of these players before because they brought in their benches at the end yeah and I said isn't this crazy to think that these guys are still the best in the world I know what they're the worst best that's crazy to be the the best all those guys were the best in their little town given their high semester everything went to college and they were really good in college that's why that's why they were especially basketball is like those athletes are the best athletes in the world well I don't I don't know if basketballs about thatthe league I think I'd say but I think football might be the greatest athletes in the world no football players are all failed basketball players man come on yes especially recei especially skilled positions here's the difference all those guys wanted to play basketball man they all wanna play basketball and they couldn't make the pros know what the problem is they can make the pros in like you know like Allen Iverson played football yeah sure LeBron James played football but the difference is like my father always told me I was like I played both and he was like do you want to get hurt and never play basketball again and I said no and he said okay well then you gotta get out of football I know but I'm talking about it like my point is the fat ones the linemen and those guys well that's it that's that's a whole different thing but I'm talking about Randy Moss wanted to play basketball like some times but here's the problem with that it's not it's there just so these are supreme athletes they're just great at everything thank you they just are better at one of those things I know but I just think that the the combination of skill and athleticism yeah for basketball is a it's a step up there's no stopping it's like when they're running up and down the court it's not like we're gonna do a play stop really get it but the the physical toll that football takes on a body to me is the mark of an incredible athlete well that I just think it's insane to get your body hit oh I know but that that's just what the debt that has two pitfalls of that sport where it's the worst part of this board for them what's C then you're asked you're asking for a short career but this is how I think they should pay the players forget it shouldn't be partying it shouldn't be pretend should be like a Call Sheet you know even on a team it's a call sheet yeah yeah so let's say like let the Lakers LeBron James is number one on the call sheet yeah so there's a percentage of the revenue that goes to the number one on the call sheet isn't that kind of how it is anyway though no not necessarily number one guy he gets the most money for sure on the Lakers not always because remember when Michael Jordan was playing Toni Kukoc was making way more money than him when they were before he got that last 30 million dollar contract I'm just saying like yeah and it just it just alters every year that's just Tony knew somebody man he and it should be based off the revenue that's going on if the ratings but things do everybody salaries dip it's all that Percy but that I can't do because you look like the Chargers they moved up here from San Diego nobody goes and watches those kids I went down there to go watch I love that Stadium for watching football because nobody's there yeah it's high school it's a high school field it's big it's a curfew yeah like a high school field but then you go there and roll soccer in high schools the same you yeah we run for 90 minutes I don't wanna watch any of it I don't want to watch almost any of it great athletes I don't care no great runners let me shave you great in shape soccer's are grains more everybody [ __ ] loves it whatever when you go down there and you see nobody's in those stands but the other teams colors it's depressing so it's not the Chargers fault that they're that they can't that market can't garner but I'm saying they don't deserve to lack of pay because that it's it's the that's the organization's fall so those players shouldn't get clipped just because they can't promote that out so you need wide I'm saying it should be across the board yeah yeah but but see but it's already like look at what is it like ratings are down in the NBA like 27 percent yeah people don't wanna watch a name 27 percent no it's crazy you know you know wine and ticket prices are up oh my god that's the craziest thing though the ratings are down the tickets are courtside at the lakers was a minimum of four G's yes so that's crazy minimum by the way courtside at the Clippers not even close to that yeah that's crazy it's just it doesn't the skew is so absurd right now and what tickets cost like I was thinking about that I get tickets for free a lot because of friends and people I know and every time I do I go yeah dude cuz I never have to pay for it I'm lucky should I pay for a ticket right now but you would go all the time I go once in a while when someone goes hey man we have someone that has a thing right I'm like but it's like but people have to pay for that [ __ ] this the difference between Lakers and Clippers is crazy like the booty seats 300-level yeah yeah against the wall in the corner Clippers it's like $15 it is $15 I saw yeah Lakers $80 that's absurd it's crazy I would just watch it for my house though yeah dad I never understood and by the way box seats boxes don't be fooled the only thing good about boxes is free food and free drink outside of that it's a bad view of the floor I don't like it I'd rather be a Rams game we went to see in the box you know you were talking about how I was on the 50-yard line like 12 rows out yeah but that's a [ __ ] seat no it was to be like this you can't see you want to watch football for my angle man I mean I was right I was you know and I saw the whole field I was right in the middle of the field I gotta turn your head turn my head where right had left to see them run the ball yeah exactly yeah you should be able to just watch I was watching I'm 12 rows up I wasn't right at the wall anyway how many Chicago had better seats than you did huh I was in a booth with a and one of those things with trash trash it was beautiful fresh we got playing piano up there yeah wait wait how many bears fans were there it was like a bears home game it was about 60 40 bears that's the [ __ ] [ __ ] part about LA sports teams yeah but that's gonna change when that stadium comes I don't know I'm telling you because kit because here's why because people that are intermediate fans that kind of want to take kids of the game and kind of want to enjoy that [ __ ] they're not doing it because the Coliseum is garbage it's impossible to get to you can't park at parking sucks everything is trash so people don't want to go so if you're a fair-weather Rams fan or Fairweather football fan you're not gonna take your kids and go to that new stadium is it equipped for all the all the people to come at once and get out they've designed it perfectly so they're like this is the most accessible stadium we've ever built so it's gonna give people a chance to go yeah I mean I guess I would go just to check it out I bet you my ass the the the Rams the Rams fan ship is gonna go through the [ __ ] roof the charges are gonna play there too I guess I mean if they're still [ __ ] around well they got the Giants and the Jets playing in the same stadium who would they I'm talking about football who the Giants who are they New York they have football teams Chicago piece of [ __ ] I love the title of the Jets yeah they do right I understand I'm just saying San Diego's not the Chargers oh sorry this the Los Angeles chargers is that what they're called yeah they're not sticking around I think that franchise are gonna move somewhere else they can't be in California anymore I don't think any I don't know if this because the Rams art is good this year it's gonna New Mexico they're not as good this year yeah no they weren't but we're not supportive of [ __ ] teams la doesn't like it when you don't do well right when the Lakers were taking a huge dive that stadium was empty too even into clipper game do they always have to have some special night going on like last night was Japanese heritage night yeah that's why I went and imagined entity no yeah they always have some kind of like yeah they want to do some [ __ ] yeah but that's that but that's also because at some point you're just putting on a game and so they need some kind of fodder to fill the gaps of John I mean what do they get what was the last night they give a bobblehead out of some [ __ ] I don't need no bobblehead late cuz I wanted it was nice I took Rachel we went to dinner yeah where'd you go went to Fleming's had a gift certificate I like that you only went because you had a steak house they're all like I know but just one date more expensive than they should be it's all there all the steak houses are always expensive Namie a cheap steak house I guess and don't say sizzler but this one we ever a sizzler guy get out of my house never I never had a [ __ ] what sizzler your dad never took the whole family we go to the steakhouse but no no see we would eat steaks at home if we were gonna eat steaks he would go to the local butcher and he takes home because for my family it was like you know how much steaks cost when you go out of the house yeah you know I mean that's the opposite cheap Fox no sizzler is cheap [ __ ] [ __ ] if your mom my mommy's a we should see my mom see how you should cook it at the house you get better meat for cheaper wanna cook man my mom doesn't know how to cook I used to uh used to see it doesn't look like that what I will be right back out it here we go here we go wake you now yeah you really do look good I'm not I'm not pandering look you look you look in the best shape I've seen you since when we were shooting the show you are in good shape too not really a first season you were no second season I was in but that's what second season you in a better shape first season I was like that I saw myself and that always happens I see myself on TV and I go oh my god what are you doing really best shape I ever was with season three of workaholics yeah and then uh and then like Adams hitting me up talking about you we didn't hire a skinny nobody said yeah I [ __ ] you write me a message like we didn't hire us even if you even if even if you got really skinny you're still a big dude you guys so it's you know what's the difference they just want to be a shape but like I'm saying those when I was my mom she never cooked never she didn't want to like it like would you never have a dinner at the house when she cooked it was special what was it what would you cook it what no matter what it was this is what it was opposite for me when I was growing up this is so weird to me cuz for me we went out to eat all a time she worked and she just was like showing you when she came home we were going all out yeah we would just go I wasn't really shouldn't go we'd go to like all kinds of different places dude I remember like this is so crazy but jack-in-the-box jack-in-the-box one time used to have this like special dinners okay really it was like it would it would be like a steak it was like a steak sandwich it it looked like a steak and they'll have like a chicken one in a fish would it's so like that would be like sometimes we'd be like yeah I was a kid you know yeah we got a little jacket a box get those but how excited were you for that sizzler was exciting because yeah they had two salad bars and Chili's my old man loves chilies but like so for me when your parent cooked that meant it was special but I didn't realize because I would go to people's houses they invite me to dinner and you're like his hobby like oh my god is this your mom's cooking like this is social what's the occasion like [ __ ] Monday yeah she's been home all day yeah she's been cooking all day so it's like so that was always weird to me so that's all I'm kind of like that now I go out to eat well because yeah right like my parents both worked my whole life so I never I never knew stay-at-home mom thing I never had that neither dhari well yeah so I never so but so my mom did cook but you know we joke with my mother and it's very mean but she was if she was not a great cook but not like a bat it was just like yeah my mom it wasn't like TV no because that's what we wanted yeah he was like like we watch these shows I get a night rolls the mama's like you should get her apron on his [ __ ] she's coming I wanted that yeah leave it to beaver typing hey I wanted my mom like restaurant quality food come to the table no I came home she was like you want meat loaf yes always like where's the salt bit we had that should be a sitcom where's the salted there's the salt where is the salt because this [ __ ] is terrible yeah we would have but we would do regular like meatloaf was an easy one because that's easy to make stuff like that pastas or wooden it's out so we never really had my mother was so my mom was so like who cares about cooking that never really I mean lately she gets into recipes stuff but like she cared so little that sometimes she would cook and we'd hate it and then we'd go out to get food cuz it just didn't work this is what I'm saying like it was just not good but that's like when I went when the mom works and that causes animosity cause like the mom and dad work but their mom is supposed to still come home and expect it to like cook a salmon it's not it's no it's not fair you don't mean but what's that what's the middle ground then well the middle ground is dad get us on the grill or I might have when I see my buddies dad cooks yeah that's what I'm saying no but like for me like again like my mom was working so she was like coming back like all right you know did you do your homework you know here she's like okay let's go to this Chinese restaurant or like you know me like like I wonder how it must be now with like GrubHub and that kind of [ __ ] right now like imagine when we grew up our parents didn't have the accessory yeah yeah all this kind of stuff to like you know it must be making like you know household better cuz for me it was just like okay we had to go to go places well I mean the difference was it was all frozen meals when we were kids and you don't have to have a frozen meal now like like for us it was like if there's nothing to eat you better dip into that [ __ ] freezer and see what you got in there it was either like if it was like I didn't cook dinner you guys can figure it out so it was either like french bread pizza rolls from Stouffer's the French bread pizzas that Mac and Chee Box mac and cheese mac mac and cheese or or fish sticks fish sticks I was just a safe it was either chicken strips or fish sticks yeah and a bag of board or Ida whatever they call Ora Ida tater tots that's all my mom used to make corn bread because it was so easy for bread mix water in his room bread that's why I said meatloaf was so common because it home you just had to put that [ __ ] in it that's it you just slop some [ __ ] together threw it in there when I was a kid I even like I wanted to like cook so I would like you know I remember the mistake I made one time as I made breakfast for my mom biggest mistake in my [ __ ] life is in this [ __ ] thought she was at a bed-and-breakfast moving forward she's like can you go down yeah yeah yeah banging on the wall - we don't have any ketchup do we get some more ketchup yeah man so these eggs aren't cooked the way that I roll my god I turned into like whether I used to love that when I was a kid I wanted to buy cookbooks because I like following the recipe I love that I love like I'm the opposite I love like being like okay he's posted two things of this a little smidgen of that and I'd be like oh you know but then they can't I got to a thing where I was like the cleanup was like I was like [ __ ] this yeah that's that's the whole thing about cooking yes the prep I don't want to do up in the cleanup I'm out the prep isn't as bad is because the prep is excited fueled with ink like excitement the cleanup is like I can't believe I have to do this [ __ ] yeah just with it for nothing and the result is not even enough no and for the disaster the kitchen is for this little plates of like whatever you like this is this is not worth it it wasn't if they put food in a pill will you do it oh god that'd be great you would do that as long as you get the same feeling so you won't though because eating is the sensation eating is what we love so much as humans and there's something about it that's like you just take a pill and get full I feel I feel like that's definitely going to be the future oh they'll be like a sex pill huh what do you mean that's the problem they're like in a conference call of our business meaning are you listening oh yeah yeah no I wouldn't do it though I couldn't do a pill I still like eating enough where I just feel like it just it would take away some of the humanity of you I'd feel more like a robot I tell you that I can love go so you're married now so like you probably don't go out as much as you did before not true not true you guys go out olives army not all the time but like enough because we don't [ __ ] like I don't have time to cook you're not saying you're not wait between all these hours or yeah between this and her hours so it's like between our schedules cooking is so hard and shop grocery shopping is a gun in my [ __ ] mouth well that's why I order I know but even when I order I forget what I really wanted I don't I don't really get what I don't get enough for like every time I order groceries I'm always like I wish I could have seen what else they had like I always want to see it you don't shop on the thing I mean physically it makes me feel better when I can kind of like do it then you get lazy though because it goes shop on just what I end up doing it goes previous orders then I'm just like hey I want that again yes see then I don't look at the things I but that's smart though for them that's that's easy money but I love going out to eat I mean I just love going especially in a city like LA yeah there's nothing any tremendous what was the first nice restaurant you ate at do you remember oh not sure don't know you don't know what I like like well they gave me that's like a kid no no I mean I was like Anna don't even remember excite so many great restaurants I can't remember the first one yeah you are that you're you're you're gonna spend I think and the thing is I didn't grow up like poor or middle-class I don't have brothers and sisters you grew up regular yeah I just had a great and I was like an only child so I was always spoiled I was always comparison to like if you had like four brothers and sisters you guys were fighting over a chicken wing you know what I mean or not what do you think this is the 20s though not talking about like if mom made if your mom made like a chicken yeah and she brought it to the table you got it you how to get the right you had to you had to share yeah if you wanted the leg you got they got a great go for the leg of yeah I was able to be like it's all for you yes all for me I know so like I've always been like I always treat myself I'm always I am a creature of comfort ya know you know like if it costs $200 to upgrade to first class I'm doing that [ __ ] when I'm checking in and they go do you want to obviously do this yes out it sometimes you go on a trip you'll find first guys for an hour flight yeah you're ridiculous no I'm not see this Web talking about right here don't give me one hour I want to be comfortable one hour sorry I'm not you know little [ __ ] sighs I'm full grown man we mean IIIi absolutely went when I used to feel bad upgrading on flights but if I'm traveling far I'm like I need the comfort to travel across the country to like I just went to New York and the company that was taking back to New York I was like hey man you know you're getting me to lay down seats and they were like well it's gonna be first-class I was like I want the Delta one you know the bed that goes all the way flat because there's a difference first classes first class but there's a delta one which is like the lay lay down I want it all the way flat I want to be on my headphones with my little pillow yeah watching something on my iPad and I want to fall in and out of sleep as they give me mimosa I'm telling you I need them lay down seats when I'm flying across the country dude I'm with ya it takes a toll on your body manager of comfort I'm with you there I went to look look I went to where was I just I just did Winnipeg hmm so I done Winnipeg last year whoo-hoo how was that rumors just they had me at is [ __ ] hotel what's a hotel like like a discount in time yes some weird yeah some weird [ __ ] where there's like you know vending machines and like dude there's a vending machines yeah vending machines in the hallway dead giveaway okay and I was like okay as soon as I pulled up to the place I was like the night you can hear so I told him this time I said I'll stay at hotel you know yeah and I I felt that too when I went to Raleigh okay yeah they had me at her Quality Inn & Suites and by the way that word is misleading yeah quality Hey you were in his suite not even is sweet yeah don't call it as Jas should we call it in whoo it in you and I was I'll call my dear I was so mad I was uncomfortable the room it was crazy there was a it was like a truckstop hotel yeah I was like everything was sold out Baba we called the hotel next to the club it wasn't so of course not they got me the room but what I realized is when I got to the new hotel I literally felt better there's a Starbucks right there's a barbecue restaurant yeah there's like you know to me there's a Lowe's it was and I was like oh this helps me now I feel better going into the show right your performance is gonna be believe in that stuff yeah the small stuff does house small stuff helps so that's why I'm a creature of comfort yeah I like going to like nice restaurants but unless it's absurd see I won't like I just don't want to overpay for stuff that I know I'm being ripped off I just know like I just don't want to rip all the rip off when you go to like first of all the only way to get like healthy first of all health and wealth it's really connected yeah rich people have the choice a guy the guy that sat next to me at the Clipper game last night you know he's eating slices of roasted turkey with watermelon and mixed nuts I was like you can't get that anywhere but down where the expensive people sit you don't get in slices a roast turkey [ __ ] it you know I mean like there's hot dogs and chicken fingers you know what's weird though about it it's like I did this Netflix movie and what was it called it's called the sleepover it's coming out what's your girl what's your girl making whoo makin my what's her name - girl from Showtime from oh my land mouth make okay make it Marlon yeah what was she was a star she was like oh really it's like action what is it come on Hamley comedies I think June it's called the sleepover look at you getting paid by Netflix oh I wish but they had me in Boston and we were staying at a five-star hotel mm-hmm okay but after a while it became a prison because I was there for a month why it's beautiful though I know but like dude when you stay at a hotel like that yeah [ __ ] I spent all my per diem and I'm dipping into my own money because I was like you that's you you do that you know that's on you dude the first night that I had a I had a hamburger okay I had a hamburger room-service stuff I had room service I had a hamburger and iced tea how much you think that [ __ ] was 45 bucks $60 shut up [ __ ] get the tip - do you $60 I was like oh this is gonna be an expensive trip yes I like eating like this yeah but why don't you just leave then but this is the thing creature of comfort that's the name of your next album but this is the thing though I was at the end of the trip we're all in the Bay and headed to like one of the last days on set and I said to them you know I realize I've spent $75 on Oreos wait Andrew kill a guy they got him in I know I got him in the minibar and they restock him every day and it's like but here's the thing though I thought about I was like actually I'll be a healthy because there's only four of them right you say only 4.9 for desire because they were like Eric there's a CVS across the street so what I was like yeah but and thought would have bought a $3 pack of Oreos gone I would have ate all of them so I technically was be a healthy well oh well when you wait when you get up sleeve of Oreos like that you'll eat the whole thing oh yeah like it from if you go to store you a grocery shopping yeah if I have a thing Oreos and I sitting on my couch and put the TV on you'll go to you'll write how [ __ ] those Oreos know so I don't that's why I don't have that kind of [ __ ] in the house you can't keep that [ __ ] in the house I can't have it in the house let's now get almonds no matter what it is I [ __ ] it up dude I got a bags almonds yeah and I'll just get a handful and I [ __ ] it up I'll be like oh [ __ ] I ate all those almonds that's why it's all about moderation and like portion control yeah so yeah because that kind of stuff gets out it it'll get to a place where it's so unhealthy that you're you're doing such damage by just being unconsciously eating because unconscious eating is bad eating eating eating you're watching TV evening dog dude I spent so much that [ __ ] that trip that Boston trip that Boston trip cost me yeah you know they give you a per diem yeah yeah well I'm right with the same thing Mullin and I stayed we shot the show in Vegas together and we stayed in Las Vega did Caesar his [ __ ] palace oh no way but in the basement of Caesars Palace was a no boo no boo every [ __ ] here's how much I wanted this no boo this is insane it's how much I went to this [ __ ] no boo I went back to Vegas to go play Kimmel's club right four months ago five months whatever it was and I and I hadn't been to Vegas since I'd shot the show and I walked into the Nobu and the bartender goes shear he goes welcome back and I said oh I haven't I'm just I'm from here for the first time he's like didn't used to come here all the time and I was like oh my [ __ ] god the bartender at a restaurant in vague you know how many [ __ ] people he sees I know hundred thousand a day this [ __ ] [ __ ] you I don't think you blend in you'd be the worst by me trying to sneak around yeah maybe the worst by me like what are you what are you doing when you look like it was redhead you know how hard it is for me to get in it like you know when you go to a building with security at the front you know you some people could just like walk to the elevators and just get up to the floor I can never right away they're always like where are you sir where are you going really cuz I look like this like how they can't it sure they don't know what I they just see me if ad regular looking white dude walks in he probably just go to the elevator and go up illegally right but when you see an orange person walk in they have to for some reason they're like well you would even where you going to get a sign in yeah they don't trust me like they don't trust me for some reason that every building I've ever walked into I I can't just go up to the I got a suit I gave fobbed in I had to do radio this morning and uh the guy was such an [ __ ] for no [ __ ] reason he was like they're not up there you gotta get someone to calm down I was like oh okay can you call he's a receptionist close you call I was like okay good [ __ ] those kind of people this [ __ ] okay yesterday mm-hmm I flew back from Phoenix on United I'm in the baggage area the bags were coming in on the wrong carousels okay yeah they told you the wrong one but they told everybody the wrong one right by Houston is here you know and it says Boston sure okay yeah there's a fat dude just fat [ __ ] I hate it I want to get him fired that works in them he's the guy that's like taking him back you know I know hey man where's the Phoenix bags we've been standing here for over 45 minutes okay obviously some [ __ ] is going on he keeps going well you gotta go over to the baggage people bye go to the back I think you are the baggage pizza what do you do now I'm hot I just you know when you get off a plane yeah you already give us a one Ally you're tired you just want to go home on a go home and I'm like dude how many people gonna come up to you and ask you about this maybe you should take your ass over there and find out so you can answer this question you know he was like he's trying to get attitude don't say you useless then I would ask some fun it is where's your supervisor I turned it to a [ __ ] white woman man I was looking for the supervisor yeah but you do have white woman in you for sure for sure you do that [ __ ] a lot you do you got white woman in you for sure how could you have comfort I know your wife you are a white woman so I went over and and then I was like I was like I told you I say supervisor I was like okay citizen it over here and I made sure I want him to make sure I said the fat one and I know he saw me talking about his ass he was he was rude I just don't understand like customer service is such an important like do it anymore it it has nothing to do with necessarily the information that you know right it's about how you make people feel hundred percent as an artist who had to do is go let me go find out there's a lot of people and fake it fake it fake to fit I'll rather you just fake it to me you know be like you know hey you know a lot of guys are asking about feet what should I tell them and they're like well we don't really know it's like okay well he could be on our side yeah [ __ ] up they're [ __ ] up that's what I would do if I was him but he's like my job anytime somebody says my job it ain't my job is done or you know what tells me that whoever's above him that's the [ __ ] that needs to get spit in the face okay yeah the manager like anytime I go to our restaurant my service is like certain way I know that the manager of this place is a [ __ ] [ __ ] he's a [ __ ] yeah there are [ __ ] up there you had a [ __ ] up cuz they can't they can't because your people aren't working right in support of what's happening right the thing is broken it's broken and it starts with you yes that's stuff like a true you know and I've had our few occasions where I've been able to be like this this is you and then I can you know because I love it cuz you can see the people work in there they're kind of like Brad and [ __ ] up all them you know me so it's like and that's an example of that right yeah that guy when they're like you know not my problem make a call [ __ ] yeah but they don't let see it isn't it's like we were in Chicago and I had brought golf clubs to go playing my dad has this tournament every year in fourth of July and in Chicago the [ __ ] bags this oversized bags have to come up a ramp a massive ramp it's like 40 feet below right to get up this ramp right well inevitably things are gonna get stuck on there it happened twice while I was standing there right good bags slide up this lie down and gets [ __ ] up they get caught we're waiting for like an hour well I stick my stupid head inside the machine inside the flaps you know I mean they're like sir and I see my [ __ ] golf bag that's halfway down the thing it's stuck on the side the belt is running will you you are right it doesn't catch cuz it's jammed so I say sorry you cannot go in there that's illegal i said my bag has been stuck we're waiting here you know for an hour like I see it and she goes yeah well someone will get get to it I said well can you make sure because I can see no one's down there they're out in the tarmac they throw the [ __ ] on they [ __ ] off yeah they're gone they don't care so I go can you get somebody down there because I'm about to climb down this [ __ ] thing and get it cuz I want to go home and and and and this woman literally was like we already called somebody I know she didn't I've seen she's been standing right there I said can you please call someone again so when did you call she did she didn't she didn't see when they do that other stuff when they lie about doing it yeah she goes I said I said can you just call someone again she walks over to the phone picks it up and stares at me and she goes can you get someone downstairs now please okay and then hangs up like okay I did it like I inconvenienced her from just making the [ __ ] call and that's all it took was one person to go hey can you get someone to get that's it she could have just been cool I wasn't being a dick I was just like I'm telling you my [ __ ] is not a something even if you were being a dick yeah if I'm gonna manage you at the airport right I'm telling my workers guess what irritated people are getting off the plane all day long they've been traveling all day yeah it's a situation we have to keep our cool too so we could provide a service for people yeah that like we know are on a little bit on edge yeah they had to go through security yeah they had to go through this dumbass process yeah need to fly on our stupid place with little steeps [ __ ] has tons of [ __ ] money yeah it's [ __ ] conditions yeah less less less less keep our attitudes together okay because that's what they spoke these because then it would be reciprocal though that's the thing is like if you approach someone that's like hey what can i what can I do for you yeah really gonna go hey you know I just I'm just curious over what the bags I think that's rude instead of when someone goes what yeah they shouldn't that person should have made you feel like oh my god your bag yeah I'm so you know well this is great Tommy feel like or are they just and they or they just have to go okay yeah you know what let me let me figure out these two things now get right that if somebody that I like when somebody goes hey I'm just fishing up something but I will get right to you I'm always like cool no problem you know what and I don't care if you don't know I'm cool with you not knowing most people don't know [ __ ] dude I kissed because like you know is so funny baggage people they always got a situation man you would [ __ ] it back I was down you know I remember that I've never forget this I'm telling I was having an issue at the bags and it was like it was something going on right and the guy was like I said hey man do you know who can I talk to you about this he was giving me such an attitude and I said hey listen I know that this company makes all their major choices down here at baggage claim I know all the major decisions in the company are done down here right here a bag yes but maybe if we can find somebody you know that maybe has you know the pool I mean it's like everybody wants to feel important you know yesterday yes buddy oh my god but all I'm saying is if you don't know it's okay I was like game stocks I love video games [ __ ] right they still have those yeah don't you just buy online no you still because sometimes you could sure it's better to trade in sometimes we buy them when you download online yeah or if you plead you download the game yeah don't you they don't like it you can't give it back but if you buy a CD at the store you can give it back and give it back and get some money back but what about okay yeah I don't understand the whole world of the whole thing but okay so this guy behind the counter like there was like they I bought something from them used like a used game I want to use control something I forgot what it was but it was broken so I go to they gotta go yeah I come back to this young kid I'm like yeah this and he was like what's really not our responsibility I was like you sold me yeah but we didn't I said listen I was so mad so I said listen if you own a restaurant and the butcher sells you rancid meat and you cook it and give it to your people yeah that's the only you yeah you go deal with the rancid meat guy yeah but your customers [ __ ] and the kid was like and I said get your manager your white woman them yeah I did and they get your manager then the manager comes over and I go let me tell you what he's saying you know I mean and I can tell them we know what I love to do in that moment when the manager comes over I like to get real calm oh yeah you shift yes yeah you down [ __ ] I got a shift into like you know can I tell you the situation yeah oh my god that's my favorite thing to do because now the manager can be like on their own employees side yeah cuz I'm being like you know we're out of control it's always best to be in perfect control with the manager with the dumb [ __ ] employee because then then they know that they that's their fault yes yes and it's obvious I understand he doesn't really understand the intricacies of sales you know you really not like and I'm okay with I'm fine because he's young right he's 46 because look at him he has a lot of work experiences with his mom but the point is you know it's just like you I just wash it a certain way but that's about being a creature of comfort yeah you yeah that's your but you're like that all the time with my good on you you just it has to be yeah like the most comfortable really simple version no I want what I'm paying for that's all yeah yeah but but but you never really get what you're paying for you want you want what you're supposed to get what you pay for yes are you never gonna get it what but you want it anyway I want it why don't I get it because this not gonna happen it doesn't I talked about this on my first special but it's like just having the other night you go to a restaurant the waiter comes over waiter waitress okay just three of us Hey right to [ __ ] down you don't like when they don't write [ __ ] down I know yeah that bothers you so much up close magic trick I don't give a [ __ ] about it I just you know they're gonna [ __ ] you I know you're gonna [ __ ] it up because I'm finicky right I love a finicky [ __ ] and so what was so here let me give you an example you say know what no onion no tomato no give me one give me one yeah I'll be like yeah I want you I wanted a well do I want this on the side okay no tomatoes chilli so when it comes back yeah can they have tomato on it what's up to you right away snap dude if I no no I you have to give up the benefit of the doubt see but I see I would I go to a restaurant and I order some [ __ ] hey no tomato you know this tomato cut this tomato on the [ __ ] I'm gonna have attitude because right away yeah because I say remember what I said no tomato yeah you say that to them yeah remember I said no tomato and it's like you know you say remember I said no tomatoes you like a condescending there's always balls I'm Kelly is it Kelly yeah Kelly did you remember what I said about tomato let's go over it again let's go back how about how about this you get some soup yeah okay you don't got a spoon the [ __ ] comes you go you know and then you're not waiting like yeah [ __ ] I want the soup if you know I need a spoon no I need this I need a spoon of what obviously this don't like dilly-dally you know they always do those come back ten minutes later with the spoon they do [ __ ] that or sometimes you have to ask someone else look this is Oh annoys me I'll go they're gone then somebody else goes where I go hey man can I just get a spoon for the soup and then you get a spoon and then five minutes later your guy comes with the spoon and goes oh you ready got one yeah [ __ ] yeah it's over it's [ __ ] over feels good that bothers me so much before salad and the [ __ ] don't come and salad meal Cubs they didn't want to bring the salad and they go just don't want the salad no I finished the [ __ ] steak yeah what are you talking to I'll still want the salad I wanted to [ __ ] a salad as an appetizer this now you brought a side dish [ __ ] you look at me oh my god that's like that's like some people like my dad doesn't like you know what someone when they go do you care when it comes out and he it's always like come I we wanted the order that it's supposed to come out and like he likes the it has to this comes out here yes right right because a lot of times nowadays I like does everyone care does if it comes out it comes out it's like a lot a lot of people are always like yeah there's whatever comes out it comes out now my old man's on me know what the [ __ ] happen I don't get like I don't like all right my I go to my parents retirement place they get this great restaurant in there for them inside the spot yes it's like a crucial sunrise so I so we scheduled he asked for a table for three a weeks ahead of time because you had to schedule it for the Thanksgiving dinner okay so why we walk in now and I come in because I had to go get something for my car when I come back in they sitting at a table for two okay and my stepfather was like okay you just sit with her and I'll sit someplace else I said Michael let's just say I said no we're not doing that I said go get whoever cuz now I gotta be like that you know what I can't stand is where people put you in a position where you that now I'm the [ __ ] yes bro tell me ask what did we ask for a table for three and they're like yeah but I was like you know look at us it's three of us it's Thanksgiving right we supposed to sit but then they put they make you be the [ __ ] I know trust me there used to be an old restaurant after the old place hey Dad you should be an old Mexican restaurant next the old place and what was it called man I hated it so [ __ ] much and it shut down which made me so happy but anyway this they have a there is no menu okay they have like a thing they do a presentation he doesn't think yeah yeah yeah I know I know trust me and we had never been I didn't really know that right so I thought maybe there still might be [ __ ] menus yeah you know so then I sit down we sit down I said he comes over goes uh you know what do you want I was like oh we didn't we didn't get him nu he's like there's no menu and he walked away okay well we sit there for like ten minutes oh I know I know ten minutes the guy comes in and does like the thing the song-and-dance presentation what we didn't see right I would have known well now I know right now I know oh that's what it is that's why there's no man he tells you you order chicken or beef and it comes with this in this in this and it's this kind of thing whatever okay I didn't know that so I told them I waiter comes I guess I didn't really know that he goes yeah okay so now you know but we need you to move we have a big party I was like move where they want to put us by the bus tubs by the bathroom I'm not I'm not even [ __ ] remotely kidding just ask me to leave ya know that's where it's just like we'll go Buddha's leaders asked me to leave just I'll leave yeah I'll I don't want to be by the bus stops in the back I'm just gonna leave and and I get it on his side if I own a restaurant like that mm-hmm I'm thinking to myself this [ __ ] don't really know what's going on here we have a community of people that understand what's going on here here on you an outsider we're out I would appreciate it if you leave yeah he well he should have just said take off yeah but I would have taken off there was a restaurant in Chicago I don't know where this was he was like Boston she got now Boston but it was like it was Seattle it was see at other side of the country okay see I know completely no but I just remember that yeah where it was a bar that like the whole thing about the bar was they were [ __ ] right right well Chicago has this thing called EDI Bewick's was nets with it that they did that for years and years they're a restaurant that's they're mean to you on purpose so Dick's last resort does the same thing that was a [ __ ] I don't think well this guy was like this I think it's the same I think this is I think it's the same thing I mean out there around anymore but yes they're constituion purpose sorry you know like here's one of my other pet peeves if I'm ordering french fries [ __ ] bring the ketchup like don't don't even ask yeah his car blunts me know this is like you know to me you know yeah you know what comes you know and even if the person don't want it it's still put 95% of the time put it there put it there put the goddamn catch okay and so uh you know and then it's like I'm not gonna do this like I don't want to eat the other things until I I want the french fries and rank I want to dip my french fries gonna catch up while I'm holding my burger and I eat my burger put the burger to catch it you know you know you have to just be like this just I just doing the hunt yeah it's quite I'd hunting around coming yeah me I do like this the guy goes hey we don't hail people here hail yeah I just went like this dude I wanted to take the plate and throw this [ __ ] across the bar and be like [ __ ] you guys and throw $100 on the bar for good you know what I mean sometimes it's just like I that's why I have to go to places where you're I know that that can happen yeah and that's what you have to go to like [ __ ] lorries and you have to go to fancy places you know they're gonna treat you better you know you're gonna get hi mr. Santino yeah hi like I you know we could can you tip and you gotta use OpenTable oh yeah well you're booking in advance I'll tell you why though all right I booked an open table at boa on sunset mm-hmm and it was just for lunch look I'm random there was nobody even in there but the guy comes over to me and he's being real like whatever and then he says to me because I booked it the night before he says to me hey just by the way we're gonna take care of you cuz in our morning meeting they said you were coming in well maybe then who you were yes they knew who I was because of you know the open table because a little bit is able right and just like my name is like yeah your name you know I mean I think even your pictures on there so I'm just saying ain't trying to brag about being [ __ ] famous again free meals on open I was a free obvious talking about the service what do you mean they took care of you then the guy was acting special oh but they didn't but they didn't give you anything for free no but they probably he might have brought something over what I should pay him [ __ ] over but I'm just saying the fact that it was like a thing yeah they made it a thing they made it a thing yeah that's all I want I want to make make me feel like this [ __ ] is a thing that's all I made me feel like you doing me a favor everything about you has to be a thing yep but I don't care where I am am I paying for this did the [ __ ] is a thing [Laughter] that's the thing you know I think you should name you know Thank You Annette McDonald's okay ask me if I want jelly for my Egg McMuffin down was is [ __ ] I know but it's like McDonald's you never McDonnells you're never gonna get why was I got McDonald's breakfast on the way from Indianapolis to Chicago and I said to the guy in the window I said let me get the sausage Egg McMuffin can I get a coffee with it and I just want one cream one sugar I said one because they put two they I've had McDonald's coffee they always would two and two I get to the second window I said is there cream and sugar in there the kid goes yeah I go one cream one trigger he goes yeah hands it to me I put I purposefully pull into the spot you know that you know those were spots for the waiting for the minute I pull in there open the lid no cream no sugar in that [ __ ] I knew it I walked right back in I go hey man I wanted a cream and sugar in this thing and the kid goes oh I thought it was in there I mean it's just McDonald's don't give up they don't give a [ __ ] it they don't care he's gonna put his dick in the coffee he don't even care if it burns him just because he hates you yeah well but I get it that's why I'm saying McDonald's customer service you know you shouldn't expect it's gonna happen the last me bitching about customers so yeah here we go I was getting freshly the company freshly yeah I had the delivery delivery again I love it as good portions that's one of the reasons I was losing weight too cuz I wasn't eating it all right this ain't a promo for fresh they go ahead it's not cuz I'm today pay me because this is not gonna be a good story blank out their [ __ ] name all right all right they deliver the company that they use for delivery yeah [ __ ] idiots okay that's the name that should be the man that should be the working name it's like yeah we're [ __ ] idiots will deliver it wherever the [ __ ] we want to deliver it we'll throw it over the gate you know I live in a gated you know yeah yeah these mofos get they live in and you live in a [ __ ] MC Escher painting but you live in the most confusing place I've ever seen in my life though there's go up and down and sideways into the wall so they're leaving first they're leaving the food at their bail boxes they just leave in the box area okay so it's like okay you know it's coming Monday so I go I know it's gonna be there right alright so then if they can't get into gate they just leaving it on the street [ __ ] on the street so you know me I'm hot I'm on the chat you know you can chat I'm like okay you know so then they got on them mm-hmm now my my leasing office where I live they had they actually got some mailbox they had this whole mailbox system yeah I had that in my old place where you get you could with your phone if you attacks it's like we got a package yeah you gonna open it they did at least see they told this company like well here's how you do it [ __ ] I don't care he walked in the leasing office dropped a box on the leasing he just put the [ __ ] on the counter and walk the [ __ ] out good for him about I cancelled yeah I canceled and I tweeted it these [ __ ] a totem why okay your delivery people do not care about customer service on the same level that you do but you try to be cheap and save money and this is what happens what you get now out the creature of comfort yeah that's all you are you're gonna do a new album called a creature of comfort tell people where they're gonna come come watch you oh well I should I don't even know when this is coming out Friday where are you at I'm at actually met Oxnard this Friday yeah yeah I'm at Oxnard so view at levity live and if you go to Eric Griffin calm with a K Eric Griffin calm you can find out all your dates my date so put it down in the description below and make sure you watch with in wig with ya watch his podcast Riven Griffin I did it that's a great episode it was really fun we had if we had a phenomenal time I told you how to a deaf dude who had a deaf mom hit me up I know about he was like my mom he said he said he said he's just ignorant my mom was deaf and we grew up poor cuz she couldn't get work [ __ ] should have called Apple you know the story Grif winning had a deaf employee at Apple and it was a go watch riffing with Griffin alright listen to it wherever it's available I mean I usually let everyone you got to finish the episode by saying one phrase or one word directly into the camera go ahead comfort in here Ginger's up you just like changers [Music]

Channel: Andrew Santino

Views: 104,252

Rating: 4.8741364 out of 5

Keywords: comedy, comedy central, podcast, whiskey ginger, whiskey ginger podcast, andrew santino, funny, the fighter and the kid, joe rogan, joe rogan experience, tfatk, bill burr, bobby lee, chris delia, your mom’s house podcast, tom segura, bryan called, stand up comedy, bert kreischer, the red rocket, all things comedy, erik griffin, riffin with griffin, cheeto santino, workaholics

Id: O1Xr1RZpFpc

Length: 83min 28sec (5008 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 06 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/Basketball-Dog]

Big Santino and Griffin fan. They have great chemistry. When Santino and Bobby start their podcast together, it's gonna be great when Griff is on as a guest.

[u/bushwickchill]

Was hoping for a Dan Soder episode

[u/[deleted]]

I love these two together and would not be opposed to them starting a pod.