When was a time you felt the most judged?

okay so I went to this religious school from the time I was four years old until I graduated high school and it was extremely controlling and like all of the things that I loved to do were against the rules like we weren't allowed to dance and like there was no like physical touch between any of the children and like music was one of my deep loves and rock music was completely against the rules and if they caught you like dancing or playing rock music and you could suffer punishments like you could be expelled or suspended so for most of my youth life I felt extremely judged every day I feel judged a lot as an older person for one there's the assumption that I don't know anything about technology when I went into the library to look for a book the fellow said dude are you on the computer and I've been on the computer since 1992 like some things they talk to you really simply and loudly like you can't hear you can't understand and then you go out and people smile at you you know in a certain way look at that old lady and the kids don't see people with gray hair any worse and he stare at you you know there's a lot of judgments that you have to be careful of like that that's a big reason for senior isolation I just don't want to have another conversation where Who I am inside of what I look like outside it was a big big difference you know so it was this time where like people started going through puberty and stuff and me and my friends decided to go to the public swimming pool and like everyone started getting changed and stuff and there were like guys that were looking from afar and me and my girlfriends we were like getting changed and I like started to see that I wasn't like the thinnest girl and so I was like feeling a bit fat and then the other girls they were like yeah we should go and talk to the guys and stuff and I felt like really insecure because I didn't feel like comfortable I my body and the guys were like staring at me and I like felt like really bad because they will like the beautiful girls and I feel like far in between them so yeah being an interracial couple we get judged a lot and being in public not everywhere we've been but we have been in the past in heaven too interracial children and we do kind of get frowned on but we overlook it and we feel that it's their issue not ours so will purposely smooch in public and just show lots of love because we're a loving family [Music] so I've been working in tech for almost six years and some of my earlier stops there's like this pressure to drink and because of my faith I don't and I felt like if I said no or didn't appear in bars and stuff I was being super judged I personally feel like it impacts advancement like you know a lot of promotions or project coordination happens in these kinds of meetings and if you're saying hey I don't take partake in that then it limits your opportunity to advance so that's one thing that I personally felt on a few occasions it was sixth grade I was bringing like I think it was like a right like yellow nail polish and then this girl was like oh I think that color doesn't and I was like Oh what do you mean she's like oh like you're too dark for that skin color and I don't know it just made me feel really bad it was one of the first times where like someone made a comment like that like above my skin color I was like what do you mean like anyone can wear this color you know like I feel like maybe it's those same kind of people who feel like oh that's that doesn't go with your skin color then it's like when they grow up like they kind of portray that in Maggie it makes you realize that people are kind of racist sometimes without them even knowing um I got a new coat I was in probably fifth grade and I got new pair of boots and I was really excited about them and I went to school and these girls so that they're really ugly and they made me look really bad and when I went home and I started to cry because I felt really self-conscious and like judged because of who I am and I was trying to like express Who I am with my clothes or something and I felt really judged my mom talked to me about it and just said be yourself and show who you really are even if that if you get judged for it or people who are mean to you when like I went from like a multiracial elementary school to like a white middle school and like I just felt like I had like everyone was like looking at me because if I was like a different skin color so I guess I've always struggled with like a skin color and stuff so like I felt judged in middle school people call me like Harambee and stuff but I was just like like I'm feel attacked feel like I never like show that to them but they bothered me you know like but like I know like whatever they say it isn't matter less I'm okay with myself so I had just moved from my hometown and I went to a different school where everybody was just like really had a lot of new brand clothes and everything and I didn't have anything like that because my mom didn't have the money for it so I since I didn't have any of that stuff I felt less of a person and like I should have that stuff and I just felt everybody was attacking me because probably when I opened up to my friends I was a raging alcoholic [Music] I'm only 21 so here one doesn't when I shared my position on same-sex marriage so what happen exactly I was living that lifestyle and for you know quite a few years and then and I found my way back to God and I said I just need to be honest with you and let you know I'm not going to be voting that way and I get stood my position and I was verbally attacked and so then it was it ended a relationship for a while but in time I did you know renew that relationship with the main individual I think I would feel the most judged better I've felt the most judged on the internet or social media or something where you're posting yourself or your thoughts or your pictures of your own face and you're putting it out there for people to judge it you know like like or dislike so that never has made me feel good ever even even when they're liking it or it's in a positive way so I got rid of social media and getting rid of social medias freedom from that crazy judgment that doesn't need to happen that validation that feels so unnecessary that you just need to give yourself the time I vote most judge was probably growing up when I was a ballet dancer and being there I was always the tallest and like the biggest girl so I always felt judged like just being in that room for many years and kind of did something to my self-esteem that you know that was when I felt was Judge it was funny because when I like hit puberty at like 11 12 years old I lost a lot of weight like really rapidly and I could like physically see how people's reaction to be different to me like the teacher teach was so much nicer to me just because I was you know a lot more skinny than before it made me realize that people did treat me different if I looked a certain way so I kind of like pressured myself to look you know to basically almost like on the verge of like an eating disorder because people treated me so much better when I was thinner than and I was a lot bigger I think that being a single mother right now it's hard to like figure out where I sit right is it with all of the rest of the mothers and the people who are married or is it with the I'm just kind of in most like the awkward transfer I don't really know what like table to sit at or where I'm invited to anymore I'd like to sit at any table that I'm welcome done there you go after having to move to a location where I was literally one of maybe three Hispanic people let alone like there was like ten colored people in the entire school so it was a very like 360 like flip from what I like grew up with any time we would like walk into like me my family would walk into any of the stores like the staff would always follow us around and trail us and they'd be watching us and make sure that we're not like like stealing things people would say very racist comments stuff I don't really want to repeat but you know this is just like normal it was normal for them I guess to say these kinds of things it wasn't normal for me to hear because I grew up in a very diverse area and that just isn't that the way we spoke to people not things we heard from people this is a really bad answer to like a very serious question but the moment I put the most judged was when I rewatched lost for the third time and this guy was like that's nine seasons how can you do that and I took his losses a waste of time in row 9 it took nine years of my life and I can't get those nine years back wasn't when I when I was elementary school I uh I tried to get out of band practice once okay I did a bathroom and my teacher wouldn't let me and so I was just kept on raising my hands like can I go to the bathroom please she's like no I was like okay so you know I ended up pissing my pants and I just like just pissed my pants I didn't say like that and she's like all right just go just go luckily I had black pants on so this isn't like noticeably like you know pissy but yeah I knew that noon everyone was laughing at me after that and besides that I can't think of another time that I've been judged terribly although I'm pretty sure I get judged every day I think now I mean I judge myself now right I mean how I how I am how I how I interface with world with the world right I want to make sure I'm right right I want to walk upright I want to be right so I want to be proper and so yeah would you say that you're kind with your judgement of yourself or pretty harsh I could be both when I got tattooed when I talked about it with some friends they were like you I never expected it from you so I was like oh well I like them but if you don't then sorry it's my choice can you show us your tattoo we're sure in actually there are six now this was the first one it's with my boyfriend are you still with them yeah [Music] what is that one thing it's Chava Rita even my nickname in my sister's handwriting what's that one this reminds me of my sister she passed away and this is the year that she was born hi everyone thanks for watching another episode basically I just want to say welcome to the new subscribers and to the subscribers who have been with me for a while I want to thank you for constantly supporting my channel that's pretty much it thank you guys again for everything and I'll see you next week

Channel: Thoraya Maronesy

Views: 211,764

Rating: 4.9838758 out of 5

Keywords: PEOPLE CRYING, PEOPLE CRY OVER EX, MAKE YOU CRY, PEOPLE APOLOGIZE, PEOPLE FORGIVE, STRANGERS FORGIVE, STRANGERS APOLOGIZE, people share, 30 people 1 question, social experiment, cut, jubilee, the skin deep, ellen degeneres, interactive projects, yes theory, oprah, the scene, documentary, humans of new york, hony, fifty people 1 question, 100 people share, HOW TO APOLOGIZE, FILMS THAT MAKE YOU CRY, STRANGERS SHARE, THE POWER OF APOLOGY, PEOPLE DESCRIBE HEART BREAK, HEART BREAK

Id: JJE-0YpZ7qU

Length: 12min 31sec (751 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 22 2019